A/N: head to patreon if you wish to know how that night went😳.

Doe's POV:

My eyes stayed glued do the fruit at the bottom of my glass, watching them tumble over each other due to how I was absentmindedly stirring my drink.

Getting myself deeper and deeper into thought, inadvertently tuning out my friends in the process.

I just kept thinking back to last night, discecting the words spoken to me for hidden clues or meanings.

As if the words 'I need you' weren't clear as day.

Well, they were until I started thinking about it more.

Now that Xander wasn't here, I could think clearly without getting distracted.

I'd been looking for those little hints from him, but suddenly they weren't so little anymore and knowing that was overwhelming in a strange way.

Strange because it exhilarated me.

It made me want to press for more, to feel the answer through his touches or the words he was so good at when he really wanted to be.

The ones that conveyed through other terms that he loved me, without those words being spoken.

It was enough to keep me satisfied while also keeping me wondering in the meantime.

I wanted to know the answer for myself but I also wanted to discover it over time.

"Hey, Doe?"

The sound of my name caused me to lift my head to Khloe, both her and Marcus now looking at me.

I panicked, thinking that I missed an important conversation, shifting my eyes between the two of them.

"You mentioned that you had a question about a book you were reading? Was it one of the ones I recommended?"

I panicked internally for a different reason now, honestly forgetting that I'd mentioned that to her.

I had so many questions to ask about things that happen between Xander and I, but didn't have anyone that I could ask them to without running the risk of things becoming weird.

"Uh, No, actually. I picked up a random one in the library, and was wondering if you could tell me if what happened was a sign that he loves her?" I said.

Khloe's been nothing but supportive and helpful ever since she first described it to me, and often helped me decipher scenes when I needed it.

Marcus seemed to be right in between us when it came to understanding this kind of stuff.

Now, unbeknownst to her, I needed her to help me decipher a scene straight out of my life.

"Oh definitely," She began, placing her elbows on the table and resting her chin on her interlocked fingers, "Run me through it."

This determined look came across her face, Marcus too ready to listen for his own entertainment.

"So like uh...," Crap, how am I supposed to explain this? "The two of them had grown pretty close throughout the book, and then all of the sudden he just kind of like... distanced himself from her."

Khloe let out an immediate scoff with a roll of her eyes.

"Let me guess. Without any warning and it left her panicked and wondering why?" She sounded like she'd heard- er, read this sort of thing before.

"Yes!" I exasperated, feeling relieved by the fact that I wasn't going to have to go into heavy detail about how I was feeling.

"What a dumbass," Marcus commented under his breath.

I don't know why I got slightly offended by that even though he was completely right.

Ugh, the shit Xander has me mentally defending him over.

"Anyway, he eventually came back and gave a proper apology... held her close and got... Vulnerable."

"Did he explain why he just disappeared?" Khloe pressed.

"He said that he needed her and that he was worried that she'd get scared off by that. He definitely wasn't in the right state of mind at the time and just got caught up in his own head but..." My words faded off, stopping myself before I got in too deep about Xander's actions last night.

I didn't want to expose more than I had to. Even if they didn't know who I was truly talking about.

"He told her that he needed her?" Khloe asked, now wide-eyed in a swooning sort of way.

I took a sip of my drink to give myself a few extra seconds to think.

"Yeah, that's actually the part I wanted to ask you about. Do you think that means that he loves her?"

"Uh duh!" she exclaimed, her immediate and assured response surprising me more than it should have, "That's basically the closest way to say it without actually saying it! Especially if his voice was all broken and you could just hear the raw emotion in it."

Oh wow.

"That's actually... pretty close to how it happened," I divulged, fully aware of how unnaturally straight I was now sitting.

"Awwe!" She gushed, "He is absolutely in love with her then. Literally zero doubt about it."

Zero?

I blinked at her reaffirmation, taking a short peek at Marcus to see if he had anything he wanted to add.

He shrugged under my gaze, "If someone told me they needed me under those circumstances, that's certainly the way that I'd take it too."

Both of them?!

Why was my heart suddenly racing?

"Oh...," I managed, hiding my fidgeting fingers down on my lap "Okay cool."

I brought it up for confirmation, but now that I had it...

"So what happened next?" Khloe asked, scooching herself closer, " What did she say back? Did she tell him that she needed him too?"

"Uh," I thought back for a moment, "No, she didn't."

Both Khloe and Marcus cringed at my answer.

"Damn," He spoke first, "Poor guy."

"Yeah really," Khloe agreed, "That's brutal."

Oh god, I was missing something again wasn't I?

"Wait why? What's wrong with that?"

Marcus actually broke out into a small fit of laughter.

"If I vulnerably admitted to someone that I needed them, and they didn't say that, or something similar back, I'm pretty sure that I'd be crying about that for at least three days."

Xander didn't seem upset.

I said what I wanted him to hear. That, and what I thought that he needed to hear.

His mood lifted, he started to prove that he wasn't going to hold back anymore, we enjoyed dessert, we had sex, and then we fell asleep in each other's arms.

It was nice. It was perfect even.

I didn't get even the slightest hint that he was unhappy with how last night went.

'Every relationship is different, and that's what makes it fun.' I replayed Khloe's words from before.

Right... Xander and I were an odd case for sure, but what happened last night just felt like it worked.

Although maybe me saying something like that back to him would have made it even better..?

"For real," Khloe agreed, "Although maybe it just wasn't the right time for that yet, y'know?"

Exactly.

She turned back to me.

"Did they end up together soon after that?"

I blinked at her.

"I haven't gotten that far, I just barely finished that scene." I partially fibbed, "I wanted to make sure I understood the meaning in that scene before going any further."

I mean, I literally have no idea what happens next.

With this newfound firm yes from both Khloe and Marcus telling me that Xander did indeed love me, I really didn't know where I was supposed to go from here.

She nodded in understanding, "Well, you're definitely on the right track. Lemme borrow that book when you're done with it. I think it'll be an interesting read."

Ah shit.

"Yeah for sure." I agreed, already trying to fabricate a reason as to why I can't let her borrow a book that never existed in the first place.

Yet again, my lies catch up with me faster than Xander's ever did.

So unfair.

I brought my hands back up onto the table, holding my ice-cold drink with both of them.

He loved me... maybe... probably... most likely.

The results of this conversation made me want to both jump for joy yet keep my newfound discovery close.

Where the hell was I supposed to go from here?

Should I just ask him? Would that be weird?

Should I tell him that I needed him- loved him too?

He was a vampiric prince, so maybe there was a reason he wasn't saying anything about it even if Khloe and Marcus were right.

Still... there was something in me that knew that Xander wasn't the kind of person to care about those kinds of things.

I thought for a moment more while Khloe and Marcus chatted about something else.

In these books, it was always the guy confessing their love first. Was that how it was supposed to be?

I lifted my drink to my lips, savoring the sour flavor hidden underneath perfect sweetness.

Was last night him confessing? No... well... ugh.

I set my cup onto the table a little too hard, a new determination rushing through me thanks to all of this.

I just wanted to make sure above all else that I was doing this right. That I was going about it in a proper manner, and executing it in a way that was considered normal.

One thing for certain though, made itself clear in my mind.

Something I'd known deep down for weeks now, but could now use as fuel to that fire

Xander was mine.

That boy in his disastrous yet beautiful, messy, perfect entirety was mine to keep.

The species difference or the taboo behind all of that couldn't puncture through that firm statement, because just like him, I didn't care.

He was mine in the way that I was his. Now I just had to figure out the right way to tell him that.