Doe's POV:

Spring was approaching rather quickly and today showed it nicely.

Grabbing my book, I'd gone out into the garden and settled myself down onto the grass, leaning back against the thick trunk of a tree.

Putting on a sleeveless turtle-neck and long jeans to hide the remnants of what Xander left behind.

I found the perfect spot where the light from the sun got to my body, but the branches shaded my face.

The touch of the sun gave such a perfect warmth to my skin, allowing me peace to crack down on this book.

And felt great against my still-aching legs days later.

Since apparently being in my room was too much of a distraction, even when Xander had stuff to do like today, I wanted to give this a try.

Which is why when Marcus showed up and sat next to me, only to fall asleep against it a few moments later, I didn't mind.

He'd seemed more exhausted lately ever since that incident with Khloe, so I let him be.

I'd gotten nearly an hour's worth of reading done this way, so I'd say that it was effective.

And this book was entertaining, to say the least.

The main girl absolutely despised the dude in this book. At least outwardly.

Reading her thought process showed something different, however, and the conflict of both was what got me interested.

"Oh, there you guys are!"

My head lifted at the sound of Khloe's voice, seeing her step into the gardens with a book of her own wrapped in her arms.

Marcus squinted his eyes open as well, intertwining his fingers and stretching out his arms.

"I was wondering if you were gonna show up," I chastised, patting the grass to my right side since Marcus already occupied my left.

She took it with a quiet giggle, settling in quickly, "Yeah sorry. Nico and I got a late start, and I wanted to get something to eat before trying to find you two."

"One and a half," I corrected, jerking a thumb to my left, "Marcus here is barely conscious,"

If his job has got him this tired, then I'm sure Khloe and I will be able to guard him from his responsibilities for a little bit.

"Very true," He muttered, leaning his head back onto the tree.

Khloe just smiled at his groggy response, "I'll take what I can get when it comes to the three of us getting to hang out together."

Her eyes fell to the open pages on my lap.

"Whatcha reading?"

"Oh uh-" I kept my thumb on the page I left off on before closing the book to show her the cover page.

She gasped before I could finish.

"I love that one!" She beamed, "Those two are absolutely ridiculous in the beginning though. Acting all avoidant with one another even though its completely obvious that they're painfully in love with each other." She grumbled her frustration towards the end there.

I just blinked at her excitement for a moment.

Well, obviously I've been missing something then.

"They are?"

She looked surprised by my confusion.

"Well, yeah," She glanced down to where my thumb was, gauging my progress in the book, "I'm pretty sure it's at least a little bit present by where you are."

My brows pinched together, partially out of embarrassment for what I was missing yet was so clear to Khloe.

"How do you know?" I asked quietly.

"Know what?"

"That they're painfully in love with each other," I said, speaking it the same way that she did.

She returned my partial look of confusion.

"I think at that point you can tell in a lot of the smaller details. The way how he's constantly on her mind. The touches that linger just a little too long, or the way she catches him looking at her from across the room."

Okay, sure. Nothing that sounded too foreign to me.

"How does that translate to them loving each other?"

I just... don't think I had a clear understanding of what the word actually entailed.

The first book I read wasn't like this at all. It was mostly filled with niceties and gentle touches and kisses. Nothing I haven't experienced myself before.

The word 'love' was thrown around a few times, but I guess I just didn't focus too much on it.

I just passed it up, figuring that it'd make sense sooner or later.

That it heald as much weight as any other word.

Her eyes went wide in realization, sucking in a sharp gasp.

"Oh, right you've never uh...,"

Now she looked embarrassed.

"Sorry," She breathed, "I forget sometimes how different our childhoods were. That there are some things that you never got to experience."

Now a devastating pity across her features.

Well, now I was interested.

If it was truly something that important that I was just oblivious to, I wanted to fix it.

"Enlighten me," I requested, knocking that look right off her face in favor of the surprise yet again.

"About love?" She questioned.

"Yeah," I nodded, closing the book completely, "If you want to. Obviously, I'm missing some key details in this book."

"Think you might love someone?" Marcus asked just before his head fell sideways onto my shoulder, "If you do, please tell me that it isn't one of mine. You're both too good for all of them."

Khloe only partially hid her laugh.

"I'm just... curious," I began, "Wait, Marcus do you know about all of this?"

I felt him give a little shrug.

"A little bit I suppose," he yawned, "My job comes with more social opportunities than yours does I feel, So I get to see and experience a lot more things in my day-to-day life than you probably do."

Yeah okay, that added up.

I turned eagerly back to Khloe, giving Marcus a soft head pat.

"Uh... alright well..." She started, taking on a firm look of concentration.

Her finger tapped against the leather cover of her book, silently pondering over what she was going to say.

Was it really that complicated?

"Now, I'm certainly no expert on the subject," She hastily explained.

I just simply leaned back and crossed my arms, careful of the sleepy boy occupying my shoulder.

"You certainly know more than me," I insisted, "I'll take anything you can offer."

She accepted my words, taking another little bit to collect her thoughts.

Placing her book to the side, and crisscrossing her legs, she began.

"It's a bond between people, but one that's usually considered more... intricate. It's closer than just a typical friendship."

Already my interest was piqued.

"There's a few different types of love. There's platonic, a love between friends, Familial, like between Nico and Xander, and then the one portrayed in the book is Romantic."

All of that is love?

My mind immediately rushed back to the interactions between the brothers lately.

The warmth their relationship radiated now instead of the cold emptiness it once had.

"Do we have that?" I questioned, "That platonic one?"

Her smile turned into that typical cheery-Khloe smile.

"I'd like to think so," She chirped.

"Definitely," A groggy voice croaked from my shoulder.

A comforting hold filled in my stomach and chest at their immediate answers.

It was eerily similar to something I felt a few nights ago, yet still noticeable different.

Xander... did he...?

He had to have, right? If I had it between these two, then there's no way it didn't exist between me and Xander.

"Familial love is probably one of the easiest ones to form, and either it thrives or it doesn't between family members."

A deep bond between family.

My mind kept snapping back to Xander and Nico's previous relationship. Back when Layla was a problem.

"So Nico didn't love Xander back when he was being a dumbass?"

Khloe still didn't know the full story, but she was aware of bits and pieces.

Her lips parted before she glanced away in thought.

"I'm pretty sure that he did... I think that's why it made him so angry. Watching the brother he loves act like that."

The thought did sprout an ache in my chest. Imagine it happening all over again after everything that's happened since it ended.

Khloe let out a soft sigh.

"It's complicated. Most loves tend to be." She gestured back towards the book in my lap.

"With platonic, there's more freedom. You get to choose your friends unlike your family, though I like to think that to love your friends, you love them like family." Her eyes softened, switching between us.

I'd seen that look before, but not on her.

There was a tug in my chest at the realization.

"They're the people you're most comfortable with. The ones you can talk to about anything or go to without any worry for judgment. That you can trust with your problems and worries and know that they'll be there for you and support you in whatever you're doing."

My heart felt like it was beginning to thump harder with each word.

At the similarities, I was finding in them, but I kept it hidden from them for now.

"Romantic is... kind of similar, but at the same time, it's wildly different. I've heard some people explain it as Platonic just with extra steps and benefits."

Benefits?

"Romantic is... special. Since it's typical that it only ever exists with one person at a time. It's everything a platonic love should be and yet goes so much deeper than that."

"How," I hoped the desperation in my voice didn't show too much, but the sudden edge I could feel through my body needed the answer.

Especially since her words had me thinking about how much different my relationship felt with Xander compared to my friends here.

Khloe's lips pulled to the side in another moment of thought.

"They just feel... different compared to your friends. Not to say that one is supposed to be more important to you than the other, but the connection you share with someone you love romantically is incomparable."

My fingers pressed harder into my arm.

"It's how they make you feel as well. When you're with this person it's just... It's like you're on top of the world. Like nothing can knock you down when you're with them."

Each word from her felt like a sinking weight within me. Like a growing truth that I was seconds away from getting my hands on and yet was hesitant to do even that.

A faraway look grew in her eyes as she stared upwards into the branches.

"At times they can feel like your other half, They're safety, they're happiness. They feel like home. Like your life wouldn't be as bright or as fun to live if they weren't there with you."

My mind refused to stray from Xander. Each realization made him the growing presence in my mind.

Bringing up some things that I didn't think about until now. Things I didn't have a reason to question because I didn't know any better.

Specifically thinking back to that time in the city, back when I realized that I only ever heard him purr when I was around.

'You make me happy,' his words replayed in my head, '...It's... a different kind of happy.'

And again to the similar thought process I had myself the next day about him...

"Is that the only difference?" I let myself ask.

I had so many other questions that I wasn't sure if I should ask without giving away who was on my mind but figured if I kept asking broader questions, maybe I'll stumble across my answer.

"Oh definitely not," She started again, turning her head from its upwards tilting position, "There's many. Too many for me to list, but I think one of the other main differences is the existence of attraction."

A hard, twisting thump in my chest.

"They become the most perfect person in your eyes despite the flaws they or other people may see in themselves. Physically beautiful in every way you can think to imagine. You love them for everything that they are just because they're them, and wouldn't think to change a thing." She spoke with a peaceful breath.

I truly couldn't tell if what she was saying was terrifying me or filling me with jovial enlightenment.

There wasn't a single thing yet that I couldn't directly tie to that ridiculous, messy-haired vampire.

"There's also a uh... physical aspects to a romantic relationship that aren't practiced in the other two."

I froze, praying that Marcus didn't notice or at least didn't pay it any mind in his exhaustion.

"Kissing, hand-holding, or any other kind of innocent contact while in public are some of the more clear indicators shown to others around that two people are in love."

What!?

I'd been doing some of that with Xander for a while. I'd even grabbed his hand right in the middle of the crowded plaza!

"Then behind closed doors, there's a more intimate physicality. Showing their love to each other through their bodies whether it be through gentle touches, deeper kisses, uhm... sex, or everything in between."

I was seconds away from shrugging Marcus off of me, terrified that he may somehow feel or hear the internal panic I was trying so hard to hide.

Xander and I had been doing all of this... for weeks!

"Though, I know there are some instances where people can indulge in those sorts of things without love being involved," she mentioned as an afterthought.

I was confused by the immediate despondency I felt. Like a sudden switch had been flipped at the thought of everything we'd done meaning nothing at all.

"There are?" It showed in my voice, yet Khloe didn't look to think too much into it.

She just nodded, "Mhm. Some people come to a mutual agreement where those kinds of acts are done purely for the physical connection. I've read that when you truly love them, there's quite an intense emotional connection there as well."

A mutual agreement... That it was just for the experience itself.

I hated how familiar that felt, taking me back to that night of the meteor shower.

But things were different from what they were back then. So much so that I couldn't question it even if I wanted to.

"Is there a sure way to know the difference?" I needed to know.

Her shoulders fell a bit.

"I wouldn't know for sure. But I'd like to think that you'd just... Know. You'd feel it either from the person or within yourself."

An almost painful pressure inflated right by my lungs, seconds away from tying a knot on my throat with it as I relived that moment with him nights prior.

There wasn't a single second at that moment with him where I felt like I was being used as I was taught I would be. Where the wild emotions I was feeling were one-sided.

There wasn't even an inkling at any time that he didn't make me feel wanted. Desired.

He made me feel special... like I was on top of the world.

Was this that intense feeling that came over me multiple times that night? And even a few times before all of that?

That nameless frenzy that only ever happened around him?

Did I love him? More than just platonicaly?

All signs were currently pointing to yes, but I still couldn't help but be wary.

This wasn't something that I wanted to get wrong.

"If someone did love you like that, how would you know for certain?" My words were unnaturally quiet through my current internal afflictions.

The sudden knowledge screaming at me in my mind.

I wanted him to love me.

A vampire.

The world's most brutal and terrifying predator and yet I couldn't find it in me to care about that when it came to him.

He was special.

"Ideally, they'd just tell you," She replied.

Another stab to my chest.

"And if they don't?"

Another longer silence while she fabricated an answer, this one taking longer than most.

I could feel the tension building in my body by the second, nearly about to burst before she let out a long, surrendering exhale.

"Like I said, love is complicated. This one most of all given how awkward things can become if this love is one-sided. Some people get scared to admit their romantic feelings when they're not sure the other person feels the same way. They don't want to risk the relationship they already have with that person with a love confession."

One-sided...

I swallowed through my dry throat, trying to organize my thought process through the mess of memories I was trying to match with what she was telling me.

"But, that's not always the case of course. Some just show it in different ways instead of telling you outright," She pointed back to my book, "It's the little gestures you gotta look out for that'll show you one way or another. You just got to know what you're looking for."

Okay... that did make me feel a little bit better.

"Every relationship is different and that's what makes it fun," she eased, relaxing fully against the tree, "By the end, everything will work out how it's meant to, and even if it is a bit of a struggle in the moment, it'll be worth it in the long run."

Everything will work out how it's meant to... right.

God, this was still so much to take in.

So much to process and figure out through the bomb it felt went off in my brain.

And in my entire body.

It felt like I needed some time to gather myself back together in order to go about this properly.

Whatever the proper way was...

Look for the little gestures. The signs that pointed me in the same direction of that new feeling.

Of... Love.

Now that I knew a bit more of what to look out for.

Tomorrow... Tomorrow was Xander and I's 'one day a week' we agreed to go out together, so maybe I'll see something then.

Get some solid proof one way or the other.

I didn't want to just jump into this headfirst without any rhyme or reason.

This felt so important now that I'd gotten this close to it. I didn't want to mess this up by any means.

"You sure know a lot about this," Marcus spoke up, sparking a sudden tightness in Khloe's body.

"Oh... yeah, yknow," She let out an awkward little laugh, "I've read a lot of these books and see a lot of different circumstances. Plus a saw a bit of it back before I got put into this way of life."

She know by now how much Marcus and I enjoyed her stories and listening to her experiences.

I was very happy that I had her around.

"Thank you," I began, my body finally allowing me relaxation, "Your explanation helped a lot."

She looked relieved by that.

"Of course. Now get back to reading, and let me know if you have any more questions."