Xander's POV:

I gently shut the door behind me, returning to my room.

I'd successfully dropped off Khloe's food with a knock before leaving, as I was instructed to, and now carried breakfast in for Doe and me.

Some quick inspection showed me that Doe had crawled herself into bed, holding tight onto a chunk of the blanket that she'd piled together.

I can't say that this wasn't an answer I came up with when I wondered what Doe did after I left.

Nico came by early- well, early for us since we were terrible at shutting up and going to sleep at a reasonable hour.

I listened in right in time to hear her gently awaken.

I placed the tray with our food onto the small table beside the couch, intending to join her for just a little bit.

Our food had those metallic dome covers, so they won't get too cold.

She was facing away from where she normally did, causing me to spoon her as soon as I got close enough.

I adored the small noise that left her throat as I hooked an arm around her stomach, and gently pulled her body against mine.

My purr rumbled quietly after her head met with the bottom of my jaw, her hands thankfully releasing the pile of blanket she'd created in favor of my arm.

Another small groan on her part before her eyes fluttered open and looked around.

Once she realized the position, she then decided that she didn't like it.

"Did you scare the shit out of everyone?" Her voice mumbled as she turned in my grasp.

I shifted with her, letting her arms slither under mine to hold to my back.

"You know I did," I confirmed, letting my nose fall into her hair.

We didn't catch the culprit, but at least we had something to go by.

I just hope everything goes well.

"So what happened? Is everyone okay?"

"Everyone is alright," I guaranteed, "We learned that whoever did this doesn't live on this floor with us. Marcus took it upon himself to dig for some new information with Nico's aid, and Khloe's on bed rest until at least tomorrow morning."

Two of her friends were busy for the day.

She let out a quiet hum, most likely thinking the same thing.

"I'm glad she's okay," She huddled closer, capturing one of my legs between her own. "And what about you?"

"I've got nothing going on." I usually aided Nico with whatever work he had, but his priorities were rightfully elsewhere today, "Unless Nico needs my help for something, my plans are empty."

I wanted to stick close to her today. Just in case.

I was still antsy over the whole thing and just wanted to be safe

"How about you? You got any ideas for the day with all of this information."

I spoke in such a way to set up for some kind of quick-witted reply from her

But her reply was taking a second too long.

And then a few more, followed by some pressure around my leg she was holding captive, and the feeling of her pinching and fidgeting with the back of my shirt.

Another moment of the strange silence and my senses activated out of instinct.

The nervous beat of her heart almost matched the ones I'd heard earlier this morning.

I nearly pushed her back to delve into why this sudden change was taking place, but she spoke a second before the thought finished in my mind.

"Do you want to- I mean since you don't have any solid plans today," She fumbled over her words, only making my confusion and partial worry grow.

This way of speaking was very odd for her.

She looked to have agreed with me, grabbing tight to the cloth of my shirt and letting out a harsh breath.

"Tonight," She began, the prior nerve still present, but this time covered with that tone of hers I knew, "Would you be willing to... fulfill that offer... for the whole sex thing tonight?"

My heart nearly stopped the second the realization came to me.

Choking back the immediate exuberance bursting within me at her question, I had to gather a hold on everything before even allowing myself to speak.

You'd think with how many time's this has happened to me, I'd be better at hiding it.

Or at least be prepared for it by now.

That deep part of me that I blamed all of these intense emotions on made it nearly impossible for me to lay here and not react as if she'd just handed me the next connection it- I'd been craving with her.

No... No, it wasn't like that. Tonight should be enough time to get into the mindset that doesn't make this any more than she wanted it to be.

This was to fix the atrocities her youth built into her mind.

I knew this was coming. I saw this coming from yesterday's conversation, but now that the day was here...

I had it all planned out, malleable plans of course depending on what she may or may not like.

"Tonight?" I clarified, somehow talking like a normal person.

She nodded against me.

"If that works," She clarified, her nerves making a returance and yanking at the hatred I had over what she might already be expecting.

At the bullshit, they fed to her.

"If not we can always-"

"It works," I eased, pulling back just enough to notice the deep red all over her face.

The pinch in her brows and how tightly her lips were pressed together

It wasn't nerves per se. She was flustered.

Woah...

I tried not to stare for too long, knowing that she'd catch on and would most likely not be happy with me.

And that was the last thing I wanted after what she'd just said.

No, I'd make this everything she never knew to want.

"Tonight." I repeated, rubbing my thumb and middle finger against the back of her neck, "Sounds like a plan."

~~~

Doe's POV:

I nibbled on my toast, legs crossed on the couch, and stareing aimlessly at the low burning fire.

It was all I could do through this anxious knot in my stomach that hadn't gone away.

Ever since I asked... and he answered

I couldn't figure out why at first.

It wasn't a question of whether or not I really wanted to go through with this.

I knew I did, and I think that dream I had was just further proving that to me.

The idea had been up in the air for a while now, and not once during that time had I been opposed to it.

But now that it had become real...

Tonight.

Even now I wasn't opposed to it, obviously, but it was just...

Thoes prior fears from yesterday were creeping their way back into my head, stirring up this new and very must despised timidness.

The rediculous doubt that had me purposefully thinking back on the childhood I'd tried to forget

Digging for hints, old lessons I'd covered with other memories, anything I could remember about how to do this.

How to make this good for him.

After everything, I at least wanted to be able to give him that but...but I couldn't remember any of these finer details of everything.

These kinds of worries weren't like me. Why now of all times?

I could hear my instructors voice in my head, yet couldn't make out anything to put to use tonight.

The fact that I'd just bit my own fingernail snapped me back into reality.

I guess I'd eaten all my toast.

I stared at the tips of my fingers, catching the barely noticeable tremor

I hadn't felt something like this in what felt like forever.

This offer had been up in the air for a while, and never had I come across these kinds of thoughts.

That was before I started having more of these... obscenely heavy emotions towards him.

I didn't know all of these feelings, but I knew they were centered around him, and I wanted to show him that in any way that I could.

But what if I accidentally did the opposite? What if this goes awry somehow?

"Y'know, we don't have to do this tonight," Xander spoke from beside me, pulling me even further away from my own crumbling thought process.

I turned my head to see the concern in his otherwise kind eyes.

"What?" I questioned, prior thought clear in my voice.

I cursed the sound of them.

"I haven't seen you reduced to this state in a while, Doe," He began, biting a cubed potato off of his fork, "If its got you this nervous, then maybe we should hold off for a little while longer."

I stared at him.

'This state'?

I questioned it at first, but quickly understood what he meant.

The silent, panicy sort of state.

Though usually it was aimed towards one specific vampire.

"Oh... No, that's not it," I spoke.

His brows rose back to their normal area, reaching over to set his fork beside his plate.

"Talk to me then," He offered, "The last thing I want is you going into this worried. Thats not how I want to do this."

There was a sterness in that last part, even through the soft, comforting way he spoke.

My hand dropped into my lap, looking back to the fire while I mustered up the courage.

I was never opposed to asking of doing these sortf of things, because I never had all these added weights to them.

But I wanted to do this. I knew I did.

I wanted... him.

...to enjoy this.

"What are you expecting from me tonight?" Again, my voice betrayed my wishes.

Maybe if I knew that, then I can plan accordingly.

I can dig through my tarnished memory for specifics instead of what I was doing before.

His distaste towards my question was so quickly masked that I almost missed it.

"I am expecting you," he started in a light hearted tone, turning his body to face me further, "To have a fun night. To enjoy yourself with me."

My shoulders slowly slumped while he spoke, his words not making this knot loosten.

Thats not what I meant, and something was telling me that he knew that.

Which was frustrating in a sad way more than an angry one, either way it left my hands fidgeting in my lap.

I hated this. I hated this doubt that was just eating at me with no remorse, the faceless emotions holding me down.

And the fact that he wasn't giving me any answers to help me along wasn't exactly helping.

Ask again. More specific.

"What if I'm not as good as you think I am? What if I-"

"Doe," He cut off my panicked rambeling, a hand setting on my thigh as if pulling me down to ground me.

The look on his face was odd.

That same borderline anger he always showed when I got into depth about my past experiences, a worry towards my uncharacteristic way of speaking, and a sadness I couldn't deduct the origin of.

"You're looking at this like a performance," He began, words calm and collected.

My eyes widened at the... accuracy.

Thats all I've ever known it to be, and up intull the idea became real, I was fine with it.

"Thats not at all what it is to me, and that's the absolute last thing I want it to be for you," He finished.

The intensity in his eyes, the look was almost a plead in of itself.

"What am I supposed to see it as then?" My curiosity sounded desperate, yet he was now giving me a hope I wasn't expecting.

There was a moment of silence before he let out a long sigh, turning the hand on my thigh so his palm was up, fingers inviting me to join.

"See it as a connection," His fingers gently intertwined with mine once I gave it to him, "Just you and me in the moment, Doe. Theres nothing more for you to worry about because all I want from this is for you to have fun."

I kept my gaze on our hands, his thumb rubbing aginst me.

A connection?

I didn't understand completely, but that was the thing that made this know finally begin to untie himself.

I turned up to face him, seeing that all of the negative emtions he once has were gone from his face.

He still kept his eyes on our hands, with a soft smile that rose a warmth into my cheeks.

"I don't have expectations, I'm just happy to be able to share that kind of moment with you. It's truly my honor to built up that natural part of you that never got the change to grow properly, and show you what sex should really be like. To show you everything that you deserve."

His eyes rose to me, and any words I may have been ready to say disappeared under them.

That comfort of him shooing away those pesky doubts like they were never there to begin with, and elevating my heartrate for a differing reason.

How does he keep doing that?

Right... I trust him.

Even if I didn't understand every detail that I wanted to, I felt like I would in time.

And even if I didn't, I knew I could fall on him as a back-up.

Even still.

"I want it to be a good experience for you too."

"It will be," He responded immediately, speaking it as a fact.

"How do you know? I-I mean, its your first time doing this aswell, right?!"

How was he so confident about this?

The smile that rose on his face was boy-ish, the fangs somehow enunciating the charm to it.

"And there's no better way I could imagine spending it. It'll be a good experience for me, because the one I'm sharing it with is you."

The tug at my chest turned into a tightness raising into my throat. Emotions through the relief and comfort he'd given me with those few sentences wanting to show themselves.

I'd known the feeling of being wanted because of him before, but this was different.

This went deeper than that. More than just the heated moments I've felt while his body was over mine, or every time he's pulled me to his chest.

This was something else entirely, something more, something... something I wanted to fall into immediately.

Something that nearly pulled tears into my eyes.

He talked about this to tenderly. The complete opposite of what I was used to

I knew our views were different, but I dont think I understood the extent until right now.

I squeezed his hand, keeping his words on repeat in my mind until I had them memorized.

Incase I needed them in the future.

The excitement I felt in my dream began to resurface.

"Right," I breathed, leaning far back into the couch, "Tonight it is then."