Doe's POV:

"That game was not nice to you in the slightest," I said, stepping back into our room while Xander held the door.

"That game isn't nice to most," He added, stepping in behind me.

We played quite a few times and ever continued after our food was ready.

And Xander didn't win a single time.

Though, every time I managed to win, he reacted as if the win was his also.

Getting all excited and rubbing it in Nico's face.

The dork.

Well, both of them and their competitivity that only seemed to spark between their brother.

I paused a few steps in, watching Xander head over to the desk to put down the book he insisted we stop by and get.

"So has Khloe always looked at Nico like that, or have I missed something?" He started up.

Which got me thinking.

I definitely noticed the way she just melts into perfect contentedness whenever he shows up.

She was normally an easy-going and joyful person, but she just became another level of that when Nico showed up.

I noticed it but never considered anything further.

I just assumed it was something similar to how I got when Xander showed up, though I was a little more guarded in how I showed it.

Or... didn't show it... to them at least.

"I guess it's moderately new, or just easier to see now that we live here."

"But you have noticed it?" he pushed.

Confused as to where he was going with this, I nodded.

But he didn't give me anything to further understand it, just gave a little huh before returning his steps closer to me.

Which reminded me... Now that we were alone.

I held my hand out to him.

"Hold this," I repeated for the third time today.

Except this one was the most important.

He blinked once at my offer, taking a side step and awkwardly twisting his wrist to get the angle that he wanted.

Large fingers traced over the underside of my wrist and kept going until he could interlock our fingers.

The shudder I immediately had to fight off the second the contact started reminded me just how different he was from everybody else.

The second his hand was secure around mine there wasn't just that ease in familiarity alone, it was like a sign to the rest of me that I could relax. Completely let my guard down because with him nothing could reach me.

He's got me.

Not to mention the slight kickstart to my heartbeat, and the almost expectant pressure in my chest.

The urge to get closer, like just holding his hand wasn't enough.

Absolutely nothing like the others.

As I knew and expected, but the reminder was still extra solidification in the matter.

"So, does this mean you're gonna come with me into the closet to switch out these clothes?" He teased, causing me to look up from our hands to see the matching look on his face.

Well, that wasn't my original plan.

But it is now.

In fact, I took the lead, taking the first steps and pulling him to the closet.

"I'll take that as a yes then," I heard the verge of a purr in his voice as he caught up.

I followed him through the door, and further into the stupidly massive room, only releasing his hand when we got to the part of it that heald all of his comfy clothes.

"So what's your plan for the rest of the day?" He asked while unbuttoning his dress jacket.

He got all dressed up despite the fact that he didn't leave this floor.

It was probably just in case they're needed on a whim for something in town, or some other royal reason I didn't understand.

Meanwhile, I've been walking around all day in comfy leggings and a shirt that was two sizes too big.

I watched from a... respectable distance.

"Depends. Got any other royal crap to attend to today?"

I almost wish that he wasn't facing me as he removed the jacket, discarded it into the hamper, and moved to unbutton his actual shirt next.

"I got everything I needed to done, so I'm down to just hang out while you do whatever."

Right... I had my guitar and that book I really needed to get into.

But none of those were piquing my interest as of right now.

I tried not to make it look like I was staring as more and more of him came into view with each button.

Swallowing became... oddly difficult for a short moment.

"And if I just want to laze around with you?" I questioned.

He paused down at the last button, a... conflicting look crossing his face.

He played it off with a laugh, "Out of all the options you have? You sure that's the one you wanna take?"

Something caught fire on my face after he finished the last button and shrugged off the shirt.

It wasn't like I'd never seen him in just this before, so I don't think he was feeling any kind of awkwardness.

How the view of his torso caught me off guard every time, I'll never understand. He was just so...

Ugh.

And every time these reactions became more and more intense.

Except even then, this one was... different.

It wasn't even that hot and heavy kind of craving like the night before.

I just wanted some kind of closeness... Like having his head on my chest while I mess with his hair. Maybe mixed with a few kisses down his neck.

"Yeah. Those Uno games got me all riled up, so I just wanna chill out for a bit. Opposed to what you may think, Xander, I do actually enjoy your presence alone," I chaffed.

Which then caused a hitch in his movements and a wideness to his eyes, like that thought hadn't ever occurred to him.

It would be downright stupid if it hadn't. Even without me saying anything.

Actually... I understood. Hearing something as words instead of just having the feeling definitely makes a difference.

The reassurance, whether you knew it already or not, is comforting.

Maybe I should be more open about how I viewed him.

I don't know why I just kept it to myself most of the time, especially knowing that he was still recovering his confidence.

I think the issue was just coming to terms with myself on how I saw him first.

I'm a stubborn woman. A stubborn woman who apparently doesn't like to admit that he's become a weakness of mine.

If that's even what you could call... whatever this was.

"Well, I can't object to that now can I?" He was trying to hide it, but I caught the ecstatic undertone anyway.

"You can try," I half-threatened, casually turning my head to the side while he unfastened his belt.

The thumping of my heart was getting to be too much, even for this.

Now was supposed to be a time of relaxation.

I turned back as soon as I knew that the pants were off.

How have I never noticed what a great ass he has?

Damn Xander.

He tossed them away to join the rest, snagging the first pair of sweat pants he could reach.

One with a deep blue color... Nice choice.

I spoke up the second after he had put them on and looked like he was about to reach for something else.

"You don't need a shirt," I simply said.

He froze.

"I don't?"

I gave a light shrug before crossing my arms.

"Well, I guess you can if you want. I was planning on scratching your back so it's up to you whether or not you want one."

His hands dropped.

I don't think I've ever seen this man look so excited, yet so still, his eyes and parted lips reflecting most of it.

"Yeah... I don't think I'll need a shirt."

~~~

His purr had become a constant every time I touched him.

This time, it broke through right before I lead him into the bed and placed him where I wanted.

I laid down first, settling down onto my back.

He seemed to know what to do before I could instruct him, only taking the guidance of where I wanted him to rest his head.

Just like I'd planned, he had his cheek pressed into my chest, most of his torso laying on mine and his waist between my legs.

His arms crossed right under my mid-back, creating an arch in my back that felt surprisingly nice after his arms sunk into the mattress.

Feeling him physically relax into me soon after I put a hand into his hair and the other on his was an interesting sensation given this exact position.

As was his weight on top of me.

I could tell that he was a little worried about that for a moment, but I made sure he got over it

It wasn't enough weight to make breathing a challenge or cause any kind of discomfort it brought quite the opposite instead.

I'd learned that there were so many different kinds of 'feeling him' and that I still hadn't discovered all of them.

I wanted to in time, but right now this was absolutely perfect.

All of it made for the perfect setting to relax and clear my head.

Clear it from the chaos from lunch and divulge into some other things.

I think Xander was doing the same. I knew for a fact that his eyes were closed, but wondered what he might be thinking about.

As they always somehow did, our slow breathing synched, and I timed the way I trailed my nails gently across his back along with them.

My eyes too fluttered closed, the knowledge of him on top of me immediately sending me into a different spiral.

It felt like it'd been a minute since the topic of that sex offer he made me crept into my mind.

That was, at least, until last night.

Towards the end, when he was torturously inching his way down my body.

What he was doing was so much... different than what I was taught, so I couldn't for the life of me fathom why that's where my mind was going.

It was so crystal clear too like I was just missing something incredibly obvious.

The second it crept in it quickly became the only thing on my mind, but nothing that was happening was what I learned to expect from my time in training.

I wasn't even opposed to the idea. Not at first.

I didn't realize it in the heat of the moment, but the uncertainty of it... regardless of how enjoyable that moment with him was... it wasn't what I grew to expect.

And I... I panicked and shook the thought out of my mind.

I twirled a few strands of his hair around my fingers.

But it felt so right... So natural in the moment.

A large part of me wanted to go through with it right there and then but...

But what if I messed it up?

None of what he was doing to me was ever covered in my training. I wouldn't have known what to do from there if we did go through with it.

He knew about my past, so there had to be some sort of expectation about how well I do when it finally does happen.

It was what I was trained for after all.

It's only to be expected that I'd be skilled.

I wasn't accustomed to whatever this... doubt in my mind was, but it was quickly sinking into a weight in my chest.

I wanted... to be good at it. For him.

These kinds of things were a big deal for vampires. It was like a part of their instincts get unlocked after experiencing sex for the first time.

I let out a long sigh, temporarily throwing off the rhythm our breaths had, and trying to find facts to counter my uncharacteristic doubts and fears.

Every time I brought up how I grew up, Xanders expression grew... distasteful. Irritated even.

I bit the corner of my lip, thinking back to our conversation the day this whole agreement started.

'I know you. So I'd like to think that I know your limits. I'd know how to make it fun.'

'I want to be the one to show you what it's really like.'

What it's really like?

And of course, the one that's made a reappearance, and basically haunted me ever since it left his mouth.

'My way, your rules.'

His way... So would I even have to worry about what to do if I was following his lead?

Following his lead is all I've been doing every time things start heating up, and it's worked out fine so far.

I've enjoyed everything. He's never introduced me to something I didn't have fun with.

Even when I fumble or make a mistake, he doesn't even seem to care.

Maybe I was just taking this all too seriously. I mean, this was Xander I was talking about.

I wanted to do it with him. I never would have imagined that sex would be something that I actually wanted given what I knew about it.

But with him, everything just made sense.

Nothing about any of this would've felt right if it wasn't with him.

But his idea of it and mine seem to be very different.

If his idea of it happened to be similar to what he's shown me already then...

"Hey, Xander?" I kept my voice hushed.

"Mhm?" His response added even more of a vibration on top of his purr.

The words took a second to agree to come out.

"That," My pause wasn't voluntary, and thus, I kicked the rest of the words out, "That offer you made. The one to have sex with me. That's still on the table, right?"

The arms around me buckled, his eyes opening.

I could feel his elbows push into the mattress, a bit of his weight leaving my body so he could comfortable raise his head to face me.

"Of course," he calmly confirmed.

Okay... right.

"And you mentioned once that you've been planning?"

I remembered wanting to question deeper back when he'd said it, but I stopped myself.

He gave me a single nod, keeping everything casual.

I really just hoped he couldn't sense my uncalled-for and sudden worry.

He probably did, who am I kidding?

"Kind of. Some things have changed since I made the offer, but yes, I have a general idea in mind."

He wasn't even doing that voice that typically got a rise out of me and yet I was feeling one anyways.

"Changed?"

"Well yeah, a few things. I don't worry nearly as much these days about how you'd react to me touching you. I'd like to say that I've learned quite a bit about you between when this started and now. At this point we've already covered most of the basics, all we're missing now is the actual sex part."

My eyes rounded.

The basics?

Those were the basics?!

I didn't know it was possible for my stomach to twist in a positive way but here we are.

Oh, holy shit...

Or at least some of the basics. Maybe the rest were the things I already knew about.

He smiled at the look that appeared on my face without my permission, this one losing that casualness and leaning more towards mischievous.

"Right," I attempted to play it off, "So, when I decide to do it, do you want like a heads up? Like in the morning and then we can just do it later or..."

Yeah, I think it's clear as day to him now that I have no idea what I'm doing.

His smile turned into a chuckle, and although I would have thought that he'd be laughing at me, that wasn't the message I was getting at all.

It was almost like... an endearment.

"Yeah, that morning option sounds like a good idea. Gives me time to prepare. Shower and cut my nails and such."

Cut his nails?

I couldn't handle any more cluelessness concerning a topic I was supposed to be well versed in, so I just pretended to understand.

"Should I cut mine?" I asked anyways.

I was never told anything along those lines.

He answered me towards the end of a cat-like yawn, "Absolutely not."

Right... He'd grown fond of the feeling of them.

"Okay um... sounds good."

I was starting to feel my own awkwardness this time around, just by comparing it to how he was responding.

I could usually spit out comebacks and responses like they were nothing. Why now was that failing me?

I dealt with that by pushing his head back down onto my chest with the hand that had been just hanging out in his hair the whole time, getting another laugh out of him.

The sound was something I think I'll forever enjoy.

I returned to my patterns of rubbing against his scalp and searching his back, watching those prior worries shrivel and die under the assurance of the vampire who was putting his weight back on me.

I hoped that now, I could enjoy this moment in peace.