Xander's POV:

Doe looked over the five books I'd presented her with on one side of my desk while I worked through some papers on the other.

Getting everything some things started with Doe's citizenship. One of the many steps it would take given the fact that she's only ever been recorded as a pet.

Basically, she was starting from scratch, and even as a prince there were some lies I was going to have to include and rules I was going to have to break in order for this to go without a hitch. Which is why I hadn't yet informed her of what I was working on.

I figured that I'd just get started while I could, but every move she made skewed my focus.

She'd lift a book to read the synopsis on the back, set it down, repeat it with another book, and then lift the first one back up again.

Her brows were pinched in what I could discern as confusion, though I just concluded it to be because she was stuck between her options.

But then she'd pull the book closer to her face, scanning over the paragraphs like she was searching for a specific word.

I was about to open my mouth to see if I could offer any assistance, but the second mine opened, her words crept in first.

"Why are there none of these between a human and a vampire?"

The pen in my hand stopped dead in its tracks, and I found myself hesitating to meet her gaze.

When I finally did though, all I could see was something I could only describe as annoyed naivety.

Right... she didn't grow up in a place that allowed her to know most societal norms.

Still, her question kicked awake that stupid and irrational part of me that always hoped that I was at the center of these kinds of questions.

I attempted to swallow it before formulating an answer.

"It's uh," My words came out hushed, and I forced the next ones to be normal, "It's not something that happens too often."

I staggered over my next sentence and hoped that she didn't notice.

"It's... widely looked down upon these days, some going as far as to consider it a taboo."

I only told her the truth. Giving her the answer she would have gotten growing up under normal circumstances.

"Taboo?" She repeated with a curious tilt to her head, "Why?"

I couldn't answer right away.

It was just... the way things became as vampires evolved and eventually rose to power.

There wasn't a law against it as far as I was aware, it was just something that was understood to be considered abhorrent. Both to Humans and Vampires alike.

A long-standing societal decision, though I could take a pretty good guess as to how it came about in the first place.

As vampires evolved, we grew to be conceited and prideful by nature. The superiority over social structures you'd find in most pack predators coursing through our veins tenfold.

While we grew more powerful over the ages, our need to dominate and claim overtook us. The knowledge that we were the world's most powerful beings went to our heads and thrived there.

We deemed every creature other than our own species to be beneath us. Everything else just became a vessel for the blood that we needed to survive.

We were beasts. We are beasts.

Of course, from there, changes and treaties were arranged, eventually bringing us to our present day.

I'd... like to think that some of those more intense and egotistical mindsets had simmered down over the centuries now that our territories were settled and we all lived in a time of moderate peace and understanding.

That high and mighty mindset must have gotten tiring at one point. Or at least for a few of us.

A lot of the same ideals, though a bit more tamed, still existed in all of us.

The superiority complexes many of us still lived by, that I'm sure being the cause of this taboo.

We were vain and to allow yourself to love a being considered lower than you was wrong and unimaginable.

It was seen as vile, tainting the reputation of your species.

We weren't built to love humans. The romantic bond that flared to life between a partner was exclusive to only other vampires. The intimacy behind sharing each other's lifeblood...

You couldn't do that with a human. No matter what, that urge in us as vampires could never be completely fulfilled nor reciprocated.

Not to mention the drastic difference in our life spans. Living around 25x longer puts a very heavy damper on things.

Vampires loved for life and aren't able to handle the concept of death to our kind the way humans are. To love a human and have them just be gone a handful of decades later... it had the possibility to be terribly detrimental.

All of that put together and you had enough reason to never consider two vastly different species loving each other.

It just... didn't work. It was never meant to.

My thoughts dug deep, crawling under my skin as I slowly looked her over.

Seeing her wonder grow with each second I kept her waiting.

All of these facts. All of these undeniable truths picked at me and yet it swayed absolutely nothing for what I felt for the woman in front of me.

Not a single bit.

I always knew all of this. Deep down, the knowledge was there, there was just no part of me that found it important enough to reconsider my desire for her.

Maybe it was because I also knew that I would never truly be able to call her mine.

A shredding pain tore at the inside of my chest, an intense disagreement from the part of me that never gained the all-consuming superiority.

My hands closed into fits at my lap and around the pen to discourage the appearance of claws.

No matter the disagreement, even if she were to somehow return my feelings, I didn't deserve such a heavenly reward after the hell I'd forced her through.

Maybe this was my true punishment. An unrequited and unattainable desire.

Having her here in my grasp. Feeling her here, tasting her lips against mine, cheering on every ounce of me that burned every time she passed my mind but feeling her slip away every time I so foolishly reached for more.

Not by her doing, but by my own.

By the silent promises I've made to her, and the lines my respect for her would never allow me to cross.

I'd be what she needed me to be to help her grow. I'd mend every piece of her I'd broken in the past.

I'd cherish the moments we have together even if that's one day the only thing I have to remember her by.

I'd love her for everything that she is from the sidelines.

And even after the day comes when she can set out and live a life that was no longer dictated by me.

She deserved that much.

"Xander?" Doe's voice in, yanking me back to reality and out of the spiral I was undoubtedly heading towards.

I blinked, trying not to think about how long I'd just sat here silently after she asked me a question.

I cleared my throat, trying to evict the lump that has knotted there.

"It stems from our earlier days," I began to explain as casually as I could, "You know how vampires get. All high and mighty with little respect to humankind. As time went on, most believed that feeling that attraction to a human was a crime against our species pride."

And our compatibility, but I couldn't get myself to mention that part.

I tried to, but my throat closed on me and I focused more on masking that from her than trying to force it out.

She looked back down to her books, eyes narrowing as she pondered.

I noticed the nervous bouncing of my knee once she looked back up.

"And what do you think?"

My eyes widened at her genuine yet pointed question.

Another question I couldn't answer right away.

"I think it happens more often than people realize," I told.

It had to. there was no way that it didn't.

With how fast our greed can attach itself to someone one, vampire or human.

I highly doubted I was the first vampire in existence to feel this way towards a human.

I'm sure there are those whose situations arent as messy as ours. Who've acted on the attraction and just managed to hide it from the rest of us.

It was harder not to act on it. At least those who do confess can get rejected and by that have what they needed to detach the greed move on.

Or have their feelings be mutual and grow together from there.

Figure it out. Make it work in their own way.

Maybe some even went as far as delving into the process of transforming a human into one of us.

I knew a process like that existed. I've read about it in the past but forgot the finer details.

I should look into it again...

"I think that as long as they're both consenting, right-minded adults who make each other happy, that's all that should really matter. Beyond that, it's nobody else's business other than the two involved." I settled.

It was the partial truth, and it was enough of an answer that she looked satisfied.

Or... satisfied enough to move on with a quiet "huh".

I could read the thought on her face as she sorted through the books, placing one aside before stacking up the rest to put back on the shelf.

She'd chosen the one Khloe was reading funny enough.

And featured two vampires.

"Good choice," I commended.

"You think so? It's on the longer side, but it looks the most interesting." She explained

My head gave a small incline, watching her pick up the other books and walk them over to the shelf.

"I think you'll like it."