||TAMIA||

This morning I wasn't late for my morning preps. I was up early and all groomed up, ready for the symposium. Breakfast was taken in a hurry too. Sheraw needed me to help her in arranging the letters she has been given by other students in an order that will make it easier for her to distribute them after the presentations.

Today, her skirt is two inches shorter, almost mid-thigh high and tighter. Her stark white blouse that is tucked inside her skirt illuminates her chocolate brown face making it look radiant. The blouse is only worn during functions or when we're going home. Her leather shoes are shining like a mirror, almost reflecting her neatly folded white socks.

Even in her school uniform, she looks gorgeous. I'm sure most of the guys at that symposium will be feasting all over her pretty face and petite body. It's so unfortunate for them that she is taken. Lucky is Kelvin for winning over one of the best ladies there is in this class.

"All done?" I ask when she shoves the last of the letters into her blue backpack.

"Yes," she says. "The rest I've given them to Daisy."

Daisy is our computer lab captain. She is also popularly known for her diplomacy when it comes to representing Triple F in other schools where boys are concerned. Rumour has it that she was the one who initiated the first interclass coupling between Triple F and East Squared.

The teachers don't about her being our diplomat. Otherwise, she wouldn't have been made captain. On the other hand, she always makes sure that she stays under the radar. We can also cover up for her if need be. The last thing we want is to see her getting demoted in front of the whole school.

"Okay," I say, resuming my reading while she turns to the front.

The Caucasian Chalk Circle remains to be my favourite read. That is despite going through almost half the novels in the school library. Well, the readable categories. I don't understand why it fascinates me but that is beside the point. Just after reading a paragraph or two, the parade bell goes.

Sluggishly, everybody closes their books, stands from their sitting positions and drags their legs to the assembly ground. There, we line up and maintain silence, waiting for the CODs--captains on duty--this week to speak before the TOD, alias Stilletos takes the podium.

After about ten unbearable minutes of the CODs repeating the same thing, Stilletos takes the podium and greets us. She highlights her observations about the student conduct during the week, which majorly turns out to be 'wanting' especially when it comes to attending the dawn preps. In regards to that, I am directly attacked but it doesn't matter. What matters is not getting caught. After she is done with that, she goes on to those leaving the school for the symposium.

"I understand that a group of students will be leaving the school for a symposium. Go and make us proud. However, I wish to let you know that the Banned List is out and on the notice board. You know the drill. Meanwhile, I'll invite our principal to say a word or two."

Knowing the drill simply means that you have to first make sure that your name is not on the Banned List before entering the bus. With that said, she walks down the podium with her ever-mocking-us confidence as our beloved principal, Madam Karanja makes her way there.

"What the hell?! Seriously? Of all days today had to be the day. I'm pretty sure there are people she is targeting," June mutters.

The banned list contains names of students who are banned from leaving school on any functions or occasions. Well, not unless they are going home for midterms, holidays or any emergencies. It makes you look and feel like a confined criminal. For one to end up there, they must have committed some major offence.

For instance, let's say tried to lead or cause a school strike, sneaked out of school, caught doing some nasty things like sexual activities during an event or function. However, lately, the number of names appearing on that list has been increasing. I'm thinking that the list of crimes has been extended to include minor offences.

"Doesn't Stilletos and that old man have any other work to do other than update the Banned List and punish students in this school?" Claire asks beside me.

'That old man' refers to the head disciplinarian, Mr Kinya. He's worse than Stilletos. Nobody ever wants to cross his path. That is usually hell on earth. It's no wonder he is the only teacher whom I've never heard of being called by or given a nickname. Nobody wants to be punished for being the inventor of the disciplinarian's nickname.

"It is like they were both born to do that," I comment in a whisper.

"I'm nervous," Sheraw silently says behind me.

"You think that case could affect you?" I ask, staring at the principal as she goes on about the wavering school's academic excellence.

Last week, Sheraw clicked her tongue at a TP--teacher on practice--after he caught her outside during prep hours. Nobody is allowed out of class during that time but we do go out at our own risk.

The snitch teacher took her to the disciplinary committee which condemned her actions and punished her by telling her to weed a part of the agriculture farm. I hate to think how badly the job was done by our city girl.

"I don't know but I am hoping not," she mumbles desperately.

"Shit," June mutters as if she has just realized what will happen if Sheraw's name ends up on that list.

She will have to remain behind and that means that she will not meet up with Kelvin. She will not also get to deliver the letters. But Daisy can do that. Plus she might have to write her own letter to explain everything to him. Damn, that would be such a bummer.

"I hope not too," I say, deeply meaning those words.

I would hate to see her devastated because she would be nothing short of that if that were the case. Personally, I don't get to worry about such things. I've always been and will always be on the low. I'm that much of a coward to try and do anything that could cost me that much or even worse, a suspension. My parents would kill me if the latter ever happened to me.

Mrs Karanja dismisses us once she is done. Before she is even off the podium, my girls and I rush to the notice board beside the form two block. Sheraw already looks distraught from the thought of being on it. I pity her. Goodness, I really hope she isn't on it. I've just realized that she will not just be devastated. She will be crushed too.

When we get there, we thread through the crowd that has already gathered up. It includes even those who aren't leaving today. As it is, people always want to know who has been added to the wall of shame so they can start judging and laughing at them. Such sadists.

🧯BANNED LIST🧯

FORM 4 FUCSHIA

1. Julie Achieng ~ Adm. 24530

2. Philomena Wangeci ~ Adm. 24599

3. Mary Anne Muteti ~ Adm. 24429

4. Serah Nyawira ~ Adm. 24601

5. Annette Wanjiku ~ Adm. 24612

6. Brenda Mwalimu ~ Adm. 24560

7. Nour Mohammed ~ Adm. 24586

8. Agnes Gathoni ~ Adm. 24435

9. Sheraw Grace ~ Adm. 24507

10. Sheryl Wagaki ~ Adm. 24545

11. Samantha Anyango ~ Adm. 24517

"Fuck!" Sheraw cusses, her face surprisingly looking resigned but also defeated.

It is happening. She is not leaving for the symposium. My heart hurts for her especially when I think of her sheer and pure excitement about the symposium. The devil is a shameless freak. Damnation to him for eternity.

"Shit, they surely outdid themselves," June mutters angrily.

"The hell?!" Sheryl cusses, her eyes balling out.

That's when the realization hits me, I have seen her name too. Her admission specifies it.

"What the...Sheryl, how did you end up on this list?" I ask, shocked to see her name on it.

"Caught with soda. Snitched by some mouthy form one," she growls. "I didn't know they were going to take it that seriously."

There have been rumours that some form one students are being used by teachers to spy on students. Never thought it to be true but I guess now it is. I pity that mouthy girl because after this, she will surely pay. I can guarantee that Sheryl will see to that. It is written all over her face.

"Of course, they had to include my name on it," Agnes, the former DH captain, recently demoted for eating extra loaves during breakfast, grumbles beside me.

Several people laugh. The girl, despite being demoted, is still standing strong and confident. I don't know if I could manage the shame and embarrassment.

"Change of plans," Sheraw says as she retreats from the crowd.

We follow closely behind her, catching up with her on the pavement leading towards the form four block.

"What do you mean change of plans?" June asks her with a frown.

"Don't you realize? My name being on that list changes a lot. For instance, I can't go to the symposium, I can't deliver your letters, I dressed up for nothing and I have to compose my own letter too," she responds, counting on her fingers angrily.

I didn't know that I would hate Stilletos more than I already do. Seeing her shred Sheraw's happiness like this makes me loathe her. A beat of silence prevails as we continue walking through the corridor to our class.

Students are already hustling towards starting their lessons in less than an hour. Knowing that we have double chemistry--two forty-minutes simultaneous lessons, I couldn't be more than happy to go out for the day.

Soon, we enter the class and head straight to our sitting area. Obviously, some judging and pitiful looks rake our moving bodies. More so Sheraw's. Behind those pitiful facades, I know some little devils are laughing out loud at the unfortunate turn of events. Snakes.

"First, I'm really sorry that Stilettos messed you up big time," June says after taking a seat on her locker.

Claire does the same while Sheraw stands. Sheryl and I lean against June's window. Janet joins our small gathering just in time, standing beside Sheraw.

"It is okay, June. For all I care, she can go burn in the incinerator," she says with a hateful tone making us laugh.

Seemingly, I was wrong. Despite her happiness being crushed, she's still standing strong. It's good because if she didn't, some snakes in class would be laughing out loud, mocking and ridiculing her.

"What happened?" Janet asks with a confused expression.

Everyone turns to look at her with a 'girl, haven't you seen the banned list?' look.

"Ah, hell. They pasted your name there?" she asks in disbelief and Sheraw shrugs in response. "I'm so sorry."

"Never mind. Anyway, that is over and done with. We have to know how our letters will get to our guys," she says, for some reason, looking at me.

"Why are you looking at me?" I ask before dreading asking the question.

I feel a shiver run through my body when my mind wanders. Sheraw better not be thinking of making me the delivery girl on her behalf. Their letters will never get to reach their destinations.

"Are you thinking of giving them to Tamia?" Claire asks Sheraw, her brows furrowing.

"She won't deliver them," Sheraw responds instead.

Thank goodness she knows I'm incapable of doing the deliveries. I let out a sigh of relief. For me, that is a huge burden to bear.

"However, since we have no other choice, we have to take a gamble," she adds, making me choke on my saliva.

"Tamia already looks chickened out by the idea," June points out, making Sheryl and Janet laugh at my horrified face.

"This is what we will do," Sheraw suggests. "I will give the rest of the letters to Daisy. I'm sure she will be more than happy to deliver them. Then, we shall give to you our letters, Tamia. Today, whether you like it or not, you will have to pull your socks up and make an attempt at mingling. We cannot give Daisy our letters. She might deliberately leave them in her locker and later lie to us she delivered them. She has done that before to someone and we are not risking it. So you are our go-to person today."

"Come on, guys. I don't want to fail you," I plead with them.

"Then don't fail us," June says firmly. "You see the courage you exhibit when doing presentations, use the same courage to approach a guy today. Furthermore, it's not like you are going to approach them to tell them how crazy you are about them. You are just delivering letters. Then we will call it a successful day."

"You can't be serious," I sigh in defeat, scratching at the back of my left hand nervously.

"Be grateful that finally, you will get to approach a guy," Sheryl mocks me with a lopsided smile.

I scowl at her only to have her smiling more.

"Babygirl, it's settled," Sheraw tells me with a sickeningly sweet smile.

"Please bring us letters later in the evening when you come," Claire says. "We have to know that you did deliver them even if it is a note."

"Give Tamia the benefit of the doubt," June defends. "You'd be surprised to find out that perhaps she is but a little devil on the inside."

"The latter I highly doubt," Janet says as we disperse from our small gathering to our seats.

Sheraw gets into the business of composing her letter. Unfortunately, the bell officially marking the beginning of today's lessons goes. I grab my small black backpack and shove in my lilac water bottle, calculating how I'm going to deliver those letters in my head.

I can't fail them. Most importantly, I can't fail Sheraw. After what she has just endured, the least I can do for her is make sure that her letter gets to Kelvin. Daisy comes in with a list and calls out our names.

We are supposed to be five but now we are four. As if the nail hasn't been fully driven in, Daisy calls Lorna's name. She will be replacing Sheraw. I don't hate Lorna, but right now I do for taking Sheraw's space.

"Tamia," Sheraw calls, turning behind to face me. 

"Here," she hands me neatly folded and stapled letters. "The one with pink calligraphy is mine. The other two are June's and Claire's. They have the names of their guys on them. Make sure you deliver them personally."

"I will," I assure her with a smile.

"That's more like it," she smiles hopefully. "Meanwhile, I'll give these to Daisy."

As she calls Daisy over, I put the letters in a small pocket inside my backpack before joining the other four girls who are chattering on about the sudden change of events outside the class. Lorna looks presentable. Then again, she always does and that makes her fit for the occasion. Something that makes me hate her a little more.

"Let's go guys," Daisy says when she steps out of the class.

We follow behind her, heading to the bus that is waiting for us at the parade ground. At the door, Stilletos is standing there with a duplicate list of all students going to the symposium. She's a real devil this one. Daisy hands in her list. Stilletos compares it with hers before proceeding to call our names and checking us out while we board the bus.

On the bus, I take a seat behind the extra driver's seat. Daisy joins me a while later. Normally, she wouldn't sit with me. But today, because of the presentations, she is obliged to seat next to me as we have to go over our presentation before getting there. We can't afford to embarrass ourselves or even worse, the school.