||TAMIA||

Tuesday, English is the first lesson after lunch prep. We are halfway through it when Stilettos knocks on the door with a sober and somewhat ominous face. She has a list on her hands. Again, shit is about to go down. And I would be lying if I said that I'm not scared.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a peeping clock is silently ticking. As if counting the days, hours or perhaps even minutes until our night escapades are discovered. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid or if it is an instinctive feeling. I hope it is the former.

Earlier this morning, during the CRE--Christian Religious Education lesson, she came for Belinda and her frontside deskmate Clarence Grace. Rumour around the class has it that they were the ones smoking weed at dawn prep yesterday.

That they were also caught hiding rolls in their boxes after inspection. Poor souls. Our English teacher lets Stilettos in with an eager nod. The deputy disciplinarian steps a few feet inside, her gaze scanning the class for a fleeting moment.

"My apologies for interrupting your lesson, Madam Kuria. I just require a few students," she says in a slightly apologetic tone.

"No problem, go ahead," Madam Kuria says with a 'have at it' gesture.

"If I call your name, follow me outside. Sheraw Grace, Tamia Wangui, Juliet Nyambura, and Annette Mumbi," she calls out the names.

Suddenly, I feel dizzy. It is because I can feel my heart abnormally racing in panic as my chest closes in on me despite my need to take in gulps of much-needed air. I close my eyes for a minute, hoping that when I open them again, it will be a dream. I have to be imagining that Stilettos just called my name.

Although when I open them, she is waiting for us by the door. Frantically, I start questioning why she has summoned me. Sheraw too. I'm not a weed user. Sheraw too isn't. So it can't be that unless we are suspects which wouldn't make sense.

Oh, God! No! What if she called us because of our night escapades? I now feel faint. I try breathing in deeply. It helps. Goodness, I hope she hasn't figured any of that out. Otherwise, I'm a walking corpse.

"What have they done? They are quite a number," Madam Kuria asks curiously.

I look at Stilettos, fearfully expecting to hear her response but when my eyes land on her face, I see the end. Something that scares the shit out of me.

"They are up for a date with me in the boardroom," she responds, letting Madam Kuria know that it is a disciplinary case.

Sheraw looks at me with a worried, confused and curious gaze. She too is wondering why we have been summoned. I take in more deep breaths it doesn't seem to be working. Probably because my mind is running a million miles with a trillion case scenarios per second and it is maddening.

I find myself closing my eyes tightly, willing the thoughts to just stop for a second so that I can breathe calmly. Else, I'll end up having a panic attack even before we get to that boardroom.

"Oh, okay," she nods at her before barking at us. "Hurry up so that we can go on with the class, students."

Her eyes roam our bodies in scrutiny as we shuffle out of class. I want to be positive that nothing is wrong and that we are still safe. That I am just overthinking and scared for our lives that could go down in a flash of a second.

I look at Sheraw. She doesn't seem too worried. I don't understand why she is not panicking after all we have done. If you didn't know the story behind the scene, you'd think she is innocent.

Perhaps maybe it is because this is not her first time to collide with Stilettos because of a disciplinary matter. She was with her not so long ago after clicking her tongue at that TP from Hell Teacher's Training College.

Stilettos leads us to the negatively legendary boardroom I used to hear tales about back then when I was a good student. Now that I am not, I might end up telling the tales myself. No! The devil be damned.

The mere thought of being in that damned room almost makes my legs feel paralysed with fear. As we walk up the form four block pavement, I feel curious eyes from other students staring at us through their open windows and doors.

They already know or suspect that we are in trouble. When Stilettos gets you out of class during lesson time, nothing is as it should be. Something is wrong. Which makes me feel even more panicky.

Sweet mercies, please don't let this be what I fear most. Stilettos walks down the pavement leading to the boardroom as we closely follow behind. Both Juliet and Annette are tense. They too are either damn guilty of something or they are as scared about the boardroom as I am.

Although let's face it. I'm not scared about that room more than I am scared about us getting discovered leave alone caught for now. We could have already been discovered and reported. Caught is not a must. But I hope not.

When we get to the boardroom, she pushes the main boardroom door open and ushers us in. We walk inside on a single file, dreading the awful feeling about the room.

"Have a seat," she says, gesturing at the chairs set around the large office table in the middle of the ominous room.

We take seats across each other so that we are facing one another. She then shuts the door and walks over to an office desk at the corner opposite the door.

She places the list on it and does some scribbling. On the other hand, we fearfully wait for her while silently praying that this is nothing but a misunderstanding or a mistake in the listing of the names.

"Do you know why you are here?" she asks a moment later.

She leaves the desk and approaches us with an intimidating demeanour. My hands clasp together as one of my legs fidgets nervously under the table. Her gaze darts on us as she waits for us to respond. Truth be told, I only have the strength to respond with a shake of my head.

"No," Sheraw responds on our behalf.

Surprisingly, she does it so confidently that I'm tempted to think that she isn't worried as her face showed a while ago. Then I realize that she has closed herself in along with her feelings.

She looks unaffected but deep down I know she is. Perhaps the secret of surviving this room is being hard-core. Something I, unfortunately, can't be when I am being all shaky.

"Clarence Grace Wanjiku sits beside you on the opposite row, Sheraw Grace," Stilettos prompts. "How did you end up sitting beside each other?"

I nearly let out a heavy sigh of relief. It seems like Stilettos is going to interrogate us about Clarence Grace and Belinda. Well, I hope that is the case. I'll breathe easily, and calm down and the fear I feel inside will slowly dissolve.

"It was a coincidence, madam," Sheraw responds without hesitation.

I almost envy her for being able to maintain such cool composure. It is a real trial for me.

"Lately, have you noticed something peculiar about her?" she asks, searching Sheraw's eyes thoroughly for the truth.

"Honestly, I haven't," Sheraw responds. "We don't interact much."

Stilettos nods as if in understanding.

"Is it true some students have bhang or what you students want to call weed in school?" she asks. That's a trick question.

"I wouldn't know, madam. All I have heard is rumours that I don't know if are really true," Sheraw responds.

She's doing quite a commendable job at effortlessly and fearlessly lying to Stilettos in her face. We both know it is true. As it is, we smelled it yesterday.

"Do you smoke weed?" Stilettos bluntly asks her.

"No, madam," she responds, her face looking repulsed by the question.

"Tamia Wangui," she calls startling me. "I believe we haven't met in the disciplinary area. Does that mean you are a good student?"

Once again, my heart starts drumming and one of my legs picks up on fidgeting under the table. For a fleeting second, my gaze shifts to Sheraw who raises an eyebrow and gives me an encouraging smile.

Well, academic-wise, I'm not only good. I'm excellent. Behaviour-wise, I'm not so sure, Stilletos. Take, for example, I've been entertaining Joe's insane escapades for a while now. Which is what I was worried you might have discovered. I helped Sheraw sneak out of school and she even got away with it.

"I do try my best, madam," I manage.

I've figured there is no need to lie. I stopped being a good student when I met Joe Danson Karanja from East Squared.

"Did you know about your fellow students having weed in their possession?" she asks.

"No. I heard it from the rumours circulating the school," I respond, mentally patting my back for managing that with a slightly confident voice.

"What are these rumours exactly?" she asks, fishing for more info.

"That some people have weed in school and are indeed smoking it," I respond.

I can feel myself calming down and regaining my composure. Something that surprises me given the fact that it is happening when Stilettos is interrogating me. It is weird.

"Do you know what weed looks like?" she asks another trick question.

I'm clueless. As it is, I come from a village where I've been sheltered and grounded to know of such things. Actually, leave alone weed. I barely know any brands of alcohol if it is not for Tusker, Pilsner and Guinness.

All of which I got to know through their branded bottle tops which we used to play games with when we were younger. Otherwise, I wouldn't know any of them despite them being common.

Occasionally, I hear some of my classmates mention different brand names but all of them sound Greek to me. The majority of the drugs are familiar to me by name but I've never seen them. And if I have, then I never knew they were drugs.

"No, madam," I truthfully respond.

"So then you don't even know what they are talking about?" she asks and I nod in response.

Her attention shifts from me to Annette and Juliet. I let out a heavy sigh of relief. Thank goodness this wasn't what I feared.

"Juliet and Annette," she ominously calls their names, her eyes darting from one to the other.

"You two are deskmates to both Clarence Grace and Belinda. Word getting to me is that you two are weed users just like them. Is that true?" she asks, her gaze intensely searching theirs.

"No," Juliet says in a confident voice that almost sets Stilettos aback.

"No are you not a weed user's deskmate or no you are not a weed user?" Stilettos inquires.

"I am not a weed user," she states defensively.

"If you are not, then why do you look so defensive?" Stilettos taunts.

"Because it feels so wrong to be accused of something I am absolutely not," she responds.

"Annette, what do you have to say for yourself?" she asks, her attention shifting to the nervous girl.

"I'm not a weed user and I didn't even know my deskmate, Belinda was one," she responds nervously.

"How close are you two?" she asks.

"Deskmate close," Annette blurts out, prompting me to smile. Sheraw too smiles.

"Deskmates could be close friends, best friends and partners in crime," at that, Sheraw shoots me a conspiratorial glance.

"They could also be enemies. So, which category do you two fall in?" she asks.

"Just a deskmate. We talk. Gossip but never indulge in personal matters," she responds.

"What do you gossip about?" Stilettos curiously asks.

"Other students," she says.

Teachers too, obviously.

"So you claim to know nothing about her being a weed user and that you are not a weed user," Stilettos prompts thoughtfully.

"Yes," Annette responds.

"Okay," Stilettos says as she moves away from her and focuses on the rest of us.

"Let's move on to an emerging topic that I would love to hear your thoughts on. I was informed that boys are sneaking into school to see some students."

Crappity! Crap! What I have been afraid of seems to be happening. Stilettos didn't call us here because of Clarence Grace. She called us because of the bomb she just dropped. We have been discovered. I'll faint.

"Has any of you heard any rumours on that or know anything about it?" she asks.

"No," Annette replies.

"I haven't heard that," Juliet says.

"Tamia and Sheraw, you are suspiciously quiet. Have you also heard something of that sort?" she asks scrutinizing us.

I swallow, trying to maintain my composure. Stilettos, I haven't heard. I have witnessed it. I am your number one culprit but I can't tell you that. I stare into her eyes and respond with fake confidence.

"Not really, madam," I state.

"No," Sheraw responds.

"Well, then I think we are done for today," she says. "You can go back to class. However, I expect to see Annette and Juliet tomorrow at two pm. Be punctual. Sheraw and Tamia, you are good to go. Behave yourselves though."

We both nod before we stand from the uncomfortable chairs and walk out of the boardroom. Outside the boardroom, the fresh air slaps on my face, my nostrils hungrily taking it in. The tension in that boardroom was suffocating.

I don't know whether to be relieved or afraid. She has heard rumours that Sheraw and I know in the real sense aren't rumours. It is something that is indeed happening. I think I should be afraid because someone in this school knows that and has told her.

We walk fast up the boardroom pavement. Instead of branching to the one connecting with the form four-block pavement, Sheraw and I take the one leading us to the washrooms. We need to catch up on something before going back to class.

"Sheraw, do you know behind every rumour there is some truth?" I ask in a low fearful voice as we walk into the washrooms.

We stop outside the janitorial room where the detergents, hand brushes and buckets used to clean the washrooms are stored.

"I know," she says in a low and nervous tone. "Stilettos wouldn't have just come up with such a topic. It sounds so far-fetched."

"In short, what you are trying to say is that someone has seen us and has reported it to her?" I ask.

I think I will go crazy. After fainting. We were never supposed to be discovered let alone caught. Never.

"Yes. But whoever it is may have just seen figures. Otherwise, Stilettos would have the names," she reasons.

"What if she has them?" I ask in a scared voice.

"Then they aren't ours. Because if they were, she would have already started interrogating us about it as her prime suspects or told us to see her again. Instead, she told us that we are good to go."

Well, that makes sense and it is a little bit relieving. But if we have been discovered, we need to stop seeing each other to avoid being caught. I would rather have Stilettos thinking that story to be nothing more but a rumour.

"Joe and Kel shouldn't come to school anytime soon. At least not until all this thing with the weed users and the rumours about boys sneaking into school dies down," I say in a low tone.

"We shouldn't worry much because they will not be coming anytime soon," she encouragingly says. "Hopefully, when they come back, things will have resumed normally. Then we shall be good to go."

"We cannot slack, Sheraw. The last thing I want is to go back to that boardroom, guilty and perhaps regretful," I express honestly.

"You are not going back," she assures me.

Though it feels unhelpful. Stilettos already knows about boys sneaking in to see girls. Unless there is another bunch, then it has to be us.

"We have to cut short our meetings," I tell Sheraw. "What Stilettos has been told about boys sneaking into school has to remain a rumour."

"For us to warn them about that, then we'd have to see them since we cannot contact them in any way," she says.

"Then the next time might as well be the last time we are seeing them for a while and we have to be more than discreet. We cannot afford to be seen again and even worse, be recognised," I state.

"Alright. But the good thing is that we are safe for now. I pray it takes them time before they come back. I'll miss Kel but if it means staying out of trouble then I'll endure it."

Things are starting to get complicated and I'm scared of them spiralling. I take in a deep breath and calm myself down. Fear is still threading itself firmly in my chest. Sheraw takes in a deep breath and looks me dead in the eye.

"Stop worrying too much. If we were to be crucified for it, right now we'd be getting nailed. Instead, we are here worrying ourselves to death when really there is nothing to worry about. Forget about that interrogation session and let's go back to class," she urges.

"Alright," I say, letting out a heavy sigh.

Ignoring the nagging fear, I walk out of the washroom building with Sheraw beside me. We run back to class just to avoid getting caught by Stilettos or the teacher on duty in case he's strolling the compound.

When we get to class, we find it empty. Apparently, our classmates seem to have gone to the chemistry lab for a double lesson. I'll never understand why the devil insists on us having double lessons in the afternoon.

Nevertheless, instead of getting my books and going there, I sit down on my chair and let my head lie on my locker as I try to process everything about today's afternoon. Sheraw too takes a seat on her chair and does the same thing I've done.

Later, after the coffee break, Stilettos comes again with a new list. This time she calls Juliet's and Clarence Grace's frontside deskmates, Stella and Rose. Then she also calls Annette's and Belinda's backside deskmates, Christina and Yvonne. At this rate, it looks like she is going to play the detective role by interrogating the whole of Triple F.