||TAMIA||

It is as if today registered the dull mood I've been in as since morning, it has maintained a gloomy atmosphere. The sun has fully been blanketed by grey clouds giving the day a darkish gloom. It makes the day have an ominous vibe that has my fear and anxiety crawling out, scratching me with sharp merciless claws.

It's Sunday afternoon and since Friday, I've been a walking piece of emotional messiness. So many mixed-up emotions are tangled up in my heart tightly and heavily. I have been trying to fight them and keep them at bay but often they overpower me and I find myself struggling to keep myself from breaking down.

My mind has become a powerless, hopeless and overworked slave to the millions of thoughts I've been pondering for the last few days. I've been getting lost in my mind during lessons, while walking, while doing simple tasks and even in my dreams, I'm still thinking.

Many a time I've found myself talking to myself, begging my brain to stop thinking even if it is for a second. I'm even afraid I'll go mad. Sheryl is dead worried about me. I can see it in her whenever I look into her eyes. She told me yesterday that she is afraid that she has lost her desk-mate.

She feels as if she is sitting beside a shell of what once used to be her desk-mate Tamia. I don't blame her for feeling so. As it is, I've been so quiet in class I think Vanessa is worried too. Our sitting area no longer has noise. If there was a weekly award for the quietest area in class, I'm sure we would have gotten one for this week.

I've become a self-made introvert. I only talk to Sheryl when necessary. Katherine, Halima and Janet too. Sheraw is the only one who gets undivided attention from me. That's because I feel as if she is my strength and solace in Joe's absence. The fact that she also understands what I am going through. It might not be fully but she has a solid idea.

I miss Joe terribly. It has been a long ulcerating week and I want to see him badly. I might still be worried about him getting caught and the fact that I still don't know what to do or even tell him about his phone but I can't help but want him. I've been hoping too much for the past two nights that he will show up but he hasn't. And that is breaking my heart more than our maddening case with Stilettos.

I stare at the Aberdare ranges. I have been doing that almost every minute I am in class. June has been generous enough to leave the window open you'd think she knows that I need the view so badly. It helps me meditate if not think about home. In instances I've thought of home, I found myself feeling somewhat guilty for everything I've done.

I have also felt like a failure and a major disappointment. Mom and dad would be so disappointed and disheartened if they ever heard of all the 'shameful and stupid' activities I've been engaging myself in while in school. A place they believe they brought me to study to create a foundation for a better life than the one we are living.

They would probably kill me too for shamelessly disregarding and abusing their efforts to help me build a brighter future for myself and them as well. I'll be lying if I said I'm not dead afraid of ending up as a homeless kid. I'm not sure my parents will endure living with a failure whilst enduring the ridicule of society's vipers.

My breaking heart starts aching and I decide to take that as my cue to push away all those thoughts to the back of my mind. I don't want to feel that pain. It's too much. To keep my mind a little preoccupied, I decide to do something that I have been meaning to do for a while.

Sheraw forbid me but at the moment, I feel a little aggressive and opportunistic. She's not in class to stop me. She went to the computer lab to work on an assignment the class was given in our absentia. I completed mine last night after so much struggle. Working while distressed isn't pretty but I managed. I tap Janet on her shoulder and she turns on cue.

"Hey, Janet. Can you help me with our chats book?" I ask.

"June has it," she says, her eyes giving me an apologetic look.

I'm still mad at the said girl but I can't tell why exactly. She never betrayed me or did me dirty. It was Claire who did it on her behalf. Yet, I can't let go of the anger I feel towards her even after knowing that. For what it's worth, it's like it has been boiling up, waiting to explode. I've been able to keep it at bay but right now, it's wildly dancing to the tunes of Janet's words.

"Get it for me. That bitch doesn't deserve it anymore," I growl, trying to rein in my anger.

Janet turns to the front and calls June. As I don't want to look at her pathetic face, my gaze lands on my History notebook, pretending to be reading about the Balkan wars.

It's not even three seconds later when I feel Sheryl's hand tapping me softly. I raise my face and turn to look at her. She seems worried about something that I suspect might have to do with my case with Stilettos.

"What will actually happen?" she asks in a soft and concerned tone.

Yesterday, Sheraw and I filled her in along with Janet on most of it. We cared enough to tell them because they are our friends and still have got our backs. Sheryl especially.

She has been keeping safely for me Joe's guide and t-shirt. I should have given her the phone too. I regret not thinking twice about it.

"I don't know honestly," I respond truthfully. "We are just waiting for Stilettos to make up her mind. After midterm."

"That long?" she asks with a confused frown.

Of course, she too doesn't understand why the hell that devil would do that.

"Yeah. I'm thinking that she wants us to slowly and agonisingly feel the consequences of our actions. And if that's the case, then her plan is working pretty well. Fear and anxiety are killing me. Not to mention the pain I feel inside and the distress my mind is going through," I tell her honestly.

"Damn, that's too long," she sighs heavily.

We are breaking for midterm this weekend and it will go on for another whole week until the following Friday. Obviously, Stilettos will not handle our case that weekend. So we shall have to wait until Monday of the week that will follow.

"It is a restless and anxious wait but we shall try surviving. That's all we can at the moment anyway," I tell her, giving her a weak smile.

"I'm really sorry all this is happening. More so for having to experience this because of some snitch bitches," she says in an apologetic voice.

"It is okay. I hope that they are happy and satisfied with the results," I state, giving Claire a blank look.

I don't know what to do with or feel about her. I'm still undecided about it. One thing is for sure though. I'm damn mad at myself for underestimating her loyalty to her desk-mate.

"Here," Janet says, handing me the book.

I peruse through it. As I thought, some pages with June's chats have been plucked out. That makes me feel like laughing bitterly but I settle for smiling in fascination. That coward snake. She was probably trying to wipe away any dirty details she has said on it. Without lingering much on her cowardly move, I open a new page and start a new chat.

ME📒: You should just get rid of the whole book. But before that, how does it feel to have someone do your revenge for you? Does it feel good?

I pass the book to June through Janet who reads the conversation. I don't mind her doing it. After all, she knows three-quarters of our story.

JUNE📒: Yes, it does. I know now you are wishing a thousand times you never met Joe. I hate to think of the emotional damage you are going through. I'm not sorry. You deserve that and so much more. I hope Stilettos burns you!

In a minute, Janet passes the book once again.

ME📒: Surprise! Even when I'm in deep shit, I still miss and want him. And as a matter of fact, I doubt I'll ever regret meeting him. It might cost me a lot but you never know how beautiful our ending will be.

JUNE📒: The thing with endings is that they are not always guaranteed to be beautiful. Even a fool knows that. Take, for example, your case. Do you think your relationship with Joe Danson Karanja is meant to have a happy ending with all the shit happening? I don't think so. I know you have thought about it too. It is doomed to end. Perhaps in days. You never know.

Her words hurt and scare me at the same time. I've thought about my relationship with Joe a couple of times. Even if I don't want to admit how painful it feels, I have felt as if it will be doomed sooner than later due to everything that is happening right now.

Something I'm praying never happens. Else, I'll be shattered and eventually completely die on the inside. I'll then be nothing but a living shell of a human being. I'm not even sure I would ever rise again and live life as I once used to. There wouldn't be the need to.

ME📒: Let's face it. None of us knows. But the good thing is that we have two choices. Be assured Joe and I will work with the one that favours us.

JUNE📒: I don't know if you are trying to convince me or yourself that everything will be fine. It's pathetic to see how desperate you are to see them work out. Just accept it. If it wasn't meant to be, then it will never be.

I'll never accept that because I believe Joe and I met for some reason. A positive reason.

ME📒: You should be the one to just accept it. You and Joe were never meant to be.

JUNE📒: Already did way long ago. He's now old news to me.

ME📒: If he is old news to you, then your ass shouldn't be so dark with bitterness. It should be shining with acceptance.

JUNE📒: If you are trying to make me think or feel that you are fine and doing great despite your case with Stilettos, save it. We both know you are not. You are just pretending to. Just like that friend of yours Sheraw.

You are all from the inside pathetically suffering but you are too proud to show it. Good luck in that endeavour. Now, I am done wasting more time on your miserable ass. I would rather study maths than spend another minute putting up with your nonsense.

Point blank. Again. It sucks so badly but I'll never let her see that. I'm just about to write some smart response when a familiar hand takes the book from me. I look up to see Sheraw giving me that 'seriously?' look.

I shrug it off, silently demanding to have the book back. Unapologetically, she closes it and dumps it inside her locker. She then takes a seat on her chair and turns behind to face me.

"We are done dealing with them. Don't stoop to their level again trying to get on June's nerves. Are we in agreement on that?" she asks in a scolding tone.

Sometimes I swear I feel as if she is my big sister and other times my mother.

"Yes," I begrudgingly respond.

"We are burning that book today. There is no need of having it anymore," she says.

I nod in agreement. It was once our safe gossip ground but now it is nothing more than a loose evidential piece. June and Claire cannot be trusted. Especially given the fact that she already tore the pages containing her name and dirty chats from it. They could look for it now that it has a new chat from me and happily run to Stilettos with it.

🧯TRIPLE F vs EAST SQUARED🧯

Nightfall comes and with its arrival, fiercely burns my hope and need to see K~Prince tonight. Everything might be crumbling down but I want to see him, hug him and hopefully feel that everything isn't crumbling for nothing.

The dormitory is eerily quiet when I get there. Her Majesty must be around. I use the main door only to hear her somewhere around the first cubicles. She is forbidding students from storing water in buckets under their beds.

She has been repeating that song since I was in form one but students are ignorant. They forget about it with time and resume the habit. She forbids it because she thinks it can affect asthmatic students and even those without the conditions by causing common colds.

She also wants anyone who hasn't marked her bed with her name to do it by tomorrow evening. It's for neatness checkups and of course, stalking. Her Majesty sometimes has a stalker vibe. She wants to know who sleeps where and next to whom.

With the weed and boys sneaking into school cases going on, I'm sure she is curious about where the affected students sleep. Good luck to her finding our names among hundreds of beds. Ignoring her presence, I walk through the corridor to my cubicle where I find Caterina and Estallia whispering something in low tones.

Upon seeing me, they immediately go quiet. Red flag. I'll not be surprised if they were gossiping about me. Probably Caterina was telling Estallia about my case with Stilettos if the latter still hasn't heard about it from her classmates.

Nearly everybody in SPG knows that I am one of the girls who has been getting involved with boys who sneak into the school at night. Every time I'm outside, I can feel their judgemental, pitiful, surprised and even shocked gazes on me. Those hypocritical bitches!

It bothers me most of the time but I'll have to get used to it. Just like I am getting used to recently becoming a school public figure from an ordinary student. It's still a wonder to me and others how much I've changed within such a short time. Anyway, ignoring Caterina's and Estallia's gossip about me, I decide to greet them.

"Hey girls," I force a smile for them.

My insensible side wants to hold a grudge against Caterina but my sensible one is telling me that will be immature. She had a damn good reason why she felt compelled to save herself even if it was at the expense of betraying me. I understood that clearly but I still cannot accept it. Perhaps with time.

"What is wrong?" Estallia asks upon noticing my dull mood.

I don't even remember when last I was in a light mood. It is as if that has become a luxury I cannot afford.

"I'm just so tired I just want to get in bed," I respond to her.

Even if it was a vague answer, it was true. My brain is wearing out from all the thinking I have been doing lately. My heart on the other hand is slowly breaking and the weight of all the tangled emotions crowding it is heavy on me. I feel tired of it all but there is nothing I can do.

I just have to endure and hope that at the end of the dark tunnel, there is light. Because surely, it cannot always be dark like it looks right now. I have to believe things will be okay again. Perhaps once everything is over. I'll admit that when I say everything, I get scared shitless because it might also include Joe. I never want to lose him. Ever.

"Okay, goodnight," Estallia says in an understanding voice.

Mentally, I thank her for not pushing it. Caterina doesn't bother wishing me goodnight. I don't bother as well. It is not a must. Upon changing into my pyjamas, I slide under my covers and lie facing the window.

For a while now, I've been sleeping in that position, hoping that Joe will show up and he'll find me waiting for him. It doesn't take me long before my eyes are heavy with sleep and I give in, still hoping my man will come.

I'm so desperate to see him sometimes I think if I knew the necessary details as he did mine, I would surprise him with a visit. At some point, I feel my covers being pulled off my face. The slightly chilly air slaps it as my nostrils take it in. I stir awake but don't open my eyes just to study the action.

In a few seconds, I feel a warm, gentle and familiar hand caressing my face soothingly. Excitement, pain and sadness flood within me. Finally he is here. I've missed him so much. I open my eyes to find him looking at me with a disarming smile. But shocking enough, he is inside the dorm--and in my cubicle.

Seemingly, it looks like he chased me when I turned away from the window in my sleep. I hope that we will always chase each other and each time, we get each other. I return his smile with an emotional one.

"Hi, V~girl," he murmurs, close to my face.

Even with the dim light, I can perfectly read his attractive lips that I miss on mine.

"Hi K~Prince," I murmur back with a nearly teary smile.

Having him so close to me right now is making my messed up emotions shift all over the place wanting out. I try fighting them but they mercilessly shred my heart begging me to let them out. It is no doubt that his presence is rendering me vulnerable. He leans in closer and whispers into my ear, his warm breath tickling the crook of my neck.

"Can you squeeze in for me?" he asks.

Despite the painful happiness I feel, I smile. Then I remove my hand from under the covers to touch his face. The growing stubble tickles my palm softly. I pull his head by his neck until his ear is close enough for me to whisper in it.

"Unless you want to make the headlines for the next scandalous story on the Daily Newspaper and TV."

"It wouldn't be that bad," he whispers in my ear making me smile.

"You are mad," I retort.

"Come on now. I want to hug and kiss you. I've missed you so much," he whispers, his hot breath disappearing into the crook of my neck.

Without further ado, I slowly and cautiously sit upright. Then I grab my hoodie from under my pillow, don it and step off the bed. He takes a few steps back in the small space between the beds to make space for me. Once I'm standing in front of him, he closes in the distance between us by wrapping me into his favourite bear hug for me.

For a few seconds, I am okay until the emotions that are now all over the place fight harder. They have liquefied into the tears that I'm trying to blink away rapidly. Although I'm rendered powerless when they start streaming down my face silently and hard.

I embrace him tightly as I break down in his arms. Feeling me, he tightens the hug and caresses my back using one of his hands. That makes it even worse because I start crying silently. Trying not to make a sound makes it painful for my teary eyes and chest that I feel like pulling out of me.

Perhaps if I did so, I would get rid of the gnawing pain, fear, anxiety and hopelessness I feel inside. I cry harder, whimpering into his chest, his hoodie soaking in all my tears. I ignore my cubemates' presence and let every emotion out. I've been holding them for a long and I've been suffocating.

Joe holds me until I'm done crying and I've calmed down. He then kisses my forehead before taking my hand in his and leading us out of the doorless cubicle. He peeps outside to check the corridor's status. Thankfully, it is dead silent and empty. Everyone is dead asleep.

We step outside using the emergency door and head straight to our spot behind Masai Mara dorm. Annoyingly, we find Daisy and Johnson sitting on our concrete tank. With a huff, he leads me to a concrete stand for a plastic tank several metres away.

Its height is about half a metre higher than the other. But we don't mind since we can access the top. What's more, the circumference is big enough to hold the tank and leave space for two people to seat on.

He lifts me and places me on it. Then he pats my legs and steps between them before moving closer until we are face to face. His hands land on my thighs as his concerned and worried gaze locks with mine. I can tell that he has a lot of questions to ask.

Most of which I am afraid I'll not answer or even worse, provide honest responses to. I hope he will forgive me for lying. It is all for me, him and us.

"What's up, baby love?" he asks in a low tone, his voice echoing the concern and worry in his eyes.

"Nothing. I just missed you so much. You took your time to come," I respond, lying my ass off and hating it.

Okay, I haven't lied about missing him. Just that there is nothing when something is eating me up mercilessly.

"I know you missed me, baby love. But I am not going to buy that for now because it is an excuse to cover up the real response," he states, intensely searching my eyes.

When he is looking at me that way, I feel so vulnerable. I could end up telling him the whole truth and saying consequences be damned.

"I can see and feel that you are not as cheerful as usual. You are sad. Needless to mention, your beautiful sleepy eyes are haunted by a range of emotions. Tell me, baby. What's going on?" he asks again.

"Nothing, K~Prince. It's just that I've missed you terribly," I try assuring him with a genuine smile.

It fails me though because it comes out as a sad one. Simply telling him that something is indeed wrong. It's just that I won't talk.

"I have told you that I won't buy that," he says, nearly sounding offended.

Perhaps he has noticed that I am lying to him. It wouldn't be so hard because I'm not doing a damn good job at it.

"V~Girl," he insists.

I don't know why he is making it so hard for me. I don't want him to know the truth. He can't know that I am going through a storm and that it is because of us I'm going through it. He will get damn stressed about it. Additionally, I don't want him to get mad at me and possibly leave me for failing to take good care of his phone and lying to him right now.

"Baby," I mumble, taking his face into my hands. "There is nothing wrong. I'm just emotional."

"That is a white lie. But I'll not push it. I'll give you time. When you are ready, I'll be ready to listen," he says in a soft voice.

"Thank you," I appreciate, inwardly relieved that he's not going to push it.

"See, there is something wrong. Otherwise, you would have instead there wasn't instead of saying thank you," he points out.

"If I did keep insisting there is nothing wrong, you would keep pushing me to tell you what there isn't to tell," I retort.

He takes in a deep breath, retreats from my hold and takes a few steps back. Congrats to me for frustrating or annoying or offending him. Instantly, regret gushes within me for lying to him and repeatedly making him look like a fool.

I promise I don't want to do any of that but I can't tell him the truth either. Which I feel might not even matter if I end up fucking us up with these lies. I would live with so much regret. Especially knowing that losing him would be a shattering nightmare.

"K~Prince," I call with a desperate tone.

"V~Girl, I don't appreciate it when someone is lying to my face and I can see it. Even worse, when they also see that I can see it. You are lying to me intentionally," he pointedly says.

"I'm sorry," I apologize, unable to maintain eye contact with him.

"It's just that..." I shut my mouth when I realize that I am about to lie again. I can feel tears rise to the surface once again. "I'm sorry. I'll tell you when I am ready."

"So you do accept that there is something wrong?" I desperately nod in response.

"Alright. Then I'll wait until you are ready," he adds in an understanding voice whilst wiping away the tears flowing on their own accord.

He then leans in and takes my lips in his. He kisses them slowly, soothingly and passionately.
I wound my hands around his neck and he deepens the kiss. His hands wind around my waist, digging under my hoodie to feel my bare back. While he lavishes my lips, he soothingly, warmly and intimately caresses my back.

For a while, we devour each other until he retreats leaving my lips swollen and thoroughly used. But thanks to him, my racing mind has turned into mush while my breaking heart soaks in a soothing feeling. I stare into his dark with need eyes, my gaze reflecting the same.

"I don't know what formula you use but it is not doing me any good," I groan and he smiles.

"I know it is," he insists.

"No it is not because it is making me want more," I grumble. "I don't want to want more because it is too soon."

"Don't worry, nasty girl," he smiles wickedly. "I will try taking you slowly."

"That will be great," I say, meaning the words because I am afraid with him I would forget to take things slow.

"But after, I'll drown you in sin," he states in a somewhat determined voice.

"After what?" I curiously ask, genuine excitement resurfacing inside me.

"After our first time together. Nope. I don't know why I'm not stating it point-blank. 'Our first time together' sounds so moral. After I fuck you or make love to you," he says, causing my already wet coochie to tweak in happiness.

Goodness, I never knew I was this rotten. On the other hand, he smiles wickedly as he gives me time to comprehend what he just said. This pervert of mine.

"So, when do you plan on fucking me?" I daringly ask and he raises his brow in surprise and some fascination.

"Over midterm would be a good time but it is too soon. So I will settle for when you are ready," he tells me with an assuring tone.

"But while we wait, I'll be giving you some other pleasures. For one, I want to get acquainted with your boobs and at a point suckle on them until you beg me to touch your virgin pussy and give you some release. Then I want to finger you until you come milking my fingers. I also want to eat you out until you come screaming my name. Needless to mention that I want to fuck your mouth--" I interrupt him before he ends up flooding my mind with more scandalous images.

"I think those will do for now," I state trying to hide a scandalous smile.

I'll never get over the fact that I'm this rotten.

"You want that," he observes with a shit-eating grin that makes me groan.

"Because I cannot help myself," I grumble.

"Great! Then the next time I'll be sure to do something."

"The next time should be over the midterm. You cannot come back again soon," I tell him with an apologetic smile.

"Why?" he asks curiously, his eyes darting on mine.

"Stiletto's case with the weed users has taken a turn for the worst," I respond. "She's getting students daily. What's even worse, she has heard rumours that boys are sneaking into school. I don't know how but she has and I am worried they are too alert. We could get caught and we'd get into trouble. I don't want that to happen. It could ruin us."

He nods in understanding. Then, as if a thought has occurred to him, he smiles.

"When are you leaving for midterm?" he asks, clearly having an agenda.

"Coming Saturday," I respond with an eager voice. I want to hear about his plan.

"Can I see you then?" he asks with a humble smile.

"We are breaking on the same date?" I ask in a surprised and maybe excited tone.

"It's 24th, right?" he asks and I nod. "Perfect. Since we are all released early, how about we meet and spend time together before going home?"

"Be sure that my mom will lecture me on that day," I state and his brows furrow in curiosity.

"I always arrive home at around one. If we want to spend time together, that means going home later in the evening," I explain.

"So it will not be possible?" he asks with a slightly sad tone. "If it won't it is okay. I wouldn't want to cause you problems with your mom and even dad."

At this point, I've caused more trouble to hold off one more. Being late by a few hours shouldn't be so bad. Just as long as I don't arrive at that home past five o'clock. That will be stepping the line too much.

"No, it is okay. But by four I should be leaving for home," I assure him.

"I'll make sure of that," he assures me with a smile. "Where in Nyeri can we meet?"

"You want us to meet in my home town of all places?" I ask with a smile.

A pure smile. I knew he was my solace.

"Yes because it's near and you know it pretty well. I wouldn't tell you to come to Nairobi. You'd get home the following day and your mom and dad would probably ground you."

"Kill me suits better," I counter. "But what about you?"

"I'm used to getting home at night. It will not be a surprise to my parents," he casually says.

"What about the extra fare?" I ask making him stare at me in disbelief.

"Baby love, stop worrying about everything else and just tell me where we can meet," he grumbles trying to hide a smile.

"Fine. Harvesters Cafe. Students normally meet at Naivas mall but I'd rather we meet there. It is a chill place," I respond.

"Time, eleven on the dot," he pointedly says.

"Not the African timing," I state and he smiles.

"The English timing. Brief Sheraw on it. I'll tell Kel. I'm sure both will be happy to tag along."

"For sure. But what if they don't come? They could have plans of their own too," I reason.

"Then it will be me and you," he says, a sweet smile playing on his tempting lips.

Daringly I lean in and give him a quick kiss.

"It's a deal," I say on his lips. He smiles.

"You just had to seal it with a kiss," he murmurs with an impressed voice.

"Of course. Anyway, how are things going in your school?" I ask in concern and curiosity.

"Toning down to normal. The dudes caught with phones are being interrogated or something of that sort. Some are saying they are probably seeing themselves going home for an indefinite suspension," he responds.

I'll go home on your behalf, Joe. If Stilettos decides that is the punishment I deserve. Gosh, I hate to think about it.

"Damn, that will be extreme even for just a phone," I state. "They should have done a definite one."

"They couldn't care less. Speaking of which, can I get my phone back today? I have burdened you by putting you in a compromising situation for a long while."

"It's in the dorm. We can't risk going back there together. And there is...you know what? I'll bring it for you over midterm," I tell him.

"Alright then and don't forget to give me your contact details," he says with a trusting voice that breaks my heart. "By now I should know them off head. Unless you don't have a phone."

"I got one last year over the April holiday. Mom finally felt generous enough to buy me a smartphone. She had insisted that I wouldn't get one until I was done with high school," I say.

"Let me guess why. Because she believed that a phone is a distraction to a student," he knowingly says.

"Yes. But the TV, to me, she came to realize was a bigger distraction than the phone. When I'm not on the farm or busy doing some other work, I'm always sitting on the table and not the couch just to be close to the TV while watching soap opera after soap opera and also music from one station to the other."

"Tell me she didn't think a phone would help in cutting down the number of hours you spent staring at a TV screen," he prompts.

"That I don't know. But it kind of helped for a while before I resumed the habit resulting in mom sending me to tuition."

"I've never attended any tuitions while at home and I don't think I ever will. My lazy ass wouldn't allow it," he says making me chuckle.

"If I were asked, I would rather spend the day in tuition rather than at home," I say honestly.

At least when I go to tuition, I don't get to go to the farm.

"Are you in any of the class WhatsApp groups?" he asks, diverting the topic.

"No. How would I even be in them?" I ask.

"Damn. How could I have forgotten that you have been a low-key kind of girl?" he groans and I smile.

"Furthermore, they belong to the Nairobi clique of girls. It does include other members too but the majority are the city girls," I say.

I have floated in so many conversations with my classmates because they were speaking about something that happened in either of the existing WhatsApp groups. They refuse to add villagers like me who don't look like they have any input in them. Damn choosy bitches.

"That's unfair. A class group should be accessible to everyone in that class who has a smartphone or uses WhatsApp," he says.

"Tell that to the admins or whatever they are called," I shrug, caring less about it. "Speaking of which, I'll not be surprised to hear you are an admin in your class group. Even worse, the Triple F and East Squared group."

He smiles guiltily. I knew this quite famous jerk was capable of being one of the proud admins.

"Well, I used to when I was in form two but I left the group when I got a new line after my phone got stolen in Nairobi. Fear the thieves in that city. Once I got my WhatsApp back, I just requested to be re-added to the groups. I didn't want my admin status restored. It was fun for a while but I got bored."

"I'm curious, what do people talk about?" I ask.

"Stupid things like gossiping about each other, insulting each other, especially with stickers, planning hangouts and sharing porn," he responds.

My jaws are sweeping the floor upon hearing the last activity. People really have guts to share porn with their friends and worse, in a public group. I've been in unfamiliar groups that shared porn and I made sure to leave all of them. Well, not before my notorious ass watched them.

"People are that careless?" I ask in surprise.

"Yes. They don't give a damn about it as long as the videos are sent, downloaded and watched. Johnson is one of them. What's even worse, they even have time to discuss the content in the videos," he says and for a second, I find myself questioning him too.

"Surely, you can't be thinking that I am one of them," he groans.

"Aren't you?" I ask with a raised brow.

"No, I am not. I prefer watching porn in private," he says.

"That additional response wasn't necessary because now I know you do watch porn," I say and he rolls his eyes.

"Once in a while but not always. Although it's like I kind of stopped. It's been a long while," he says. "You, do you watch porn?"

"Nope. But that doesn't mean I haven't seen a few videos. I've been added into groups with madmen who share porn whenever they feel like it," I respond.

"So you are not that innocent," he smiles wickedly. I nod in response.

"Although I left nearly all of them. I got tired of opening my gallery only to find porn videos that auto-downloaded themselves sitting comfortably on it waiting to be watched," I respond.

"I can relate," he laughs.

"Anyway, do you go for those class hangouts?" I ask.

"I've gone to a few. Nothing interesting happens in them. It's just people enjoying spending time together."

"No using drugs?" I ask curiously.

"Of course, there is that. Speaking of which, you should probably know that I am a smoker," he says, taking me by surprise.

"Weed or cigarette smoker?" I ask, studying his face, trying to decipher if he is lying or not.

"Are you not bothered by that confession?" he asks with a smile.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. "So, weed or cigarette smoker?"

"None. I'm not a fan of drugs," he says with a sincere voice making me frown. "I've never gotten any interest in them."

"Even the alcohol that nearly everyone seems to enjoy drinking?" I ask.

"Yes," he responds.

"That is a surprise to me," I respond honestly. "That's because I have a stereotype that you city kids are not only spoiled but notorious brats."

"Ouch. But it is true. We are notorious but some of us not when it comes to drugs," he says.

"As you can imagine, I on the other hand only hear about the drugs in books and cases of people whose drug use turned into abuse and then backfired on them," I tell him.

"You are so pure," he says with a bright smile.

"I'm not so sure about that," I retort. "But, I was so shocked to hear girls are smoking weed. I mean, that is bang! Aren't they afraid of going mad?"

"Weed makes you go mad?" he asks with a smile staring at me.

"I don't know really despite learning about it. But I've seen mad men in the village who people say went mad for abusing bang," I explain and he laughs.

"If it is because of weed then I don't know which type they use to make them mad. But never stress yourself. Such drugs aren't for a pretty girl like you," he says, one of his hands lazily caressing my face with his knuckles.

"Neither are they for a very handsome man like you," I state and he smiles.

"I'll always keep that in mind. Temptations are real out there," he says.

"Don't fall into temptation," I pointedly tell him. "I don't want you to turn into a madman. You have a bright future."

"What makes you think so?" he asks with a curious smile.

"Just seeing it in your eyes. What do you want to be after you are done with school?" I ask.

"An analytical chemist like my dad," he responds proudly.

"No!" I nearly squeal in surprise and excitement.

"What?" he asks with a confused expression.

"I want to be an analytical chemist too!" I whisper-yell in excitement.

"Oh, damn! That is exciting. Perhaps we should indeed work on that suggestion about us going to the same campus. Then after that, we can build a laboratory and who knows? Even build our own company," he says making me smile.

"Only the future can tell that. Those are great dreams that would demand the best from us to realize them. But two scientists in the same house...don't you think that's a little extreme?"

"Nope. Not at all. Well, as long as we don't turn the house into a laboratory," he responds making me laugh.

"Absolutely. We cannot turn the house into a lab. Especially because of the kids," I blurt out.

The idiot is smiling so hard I'm tempted to slap that smile out of his face. What was I thinking saying that? Damn it.

"You now want to have kids with me?" he asks with a somewhat cocky voice.

"Jerk, stop revelling in it too much," I grumble, poking his firm chest.

"I can't," he says. "Do you want us to have kids together?"

"Yeap. If the future is generous unto us," I respond honestly.

"You are making me look too focused in life if you are already making me think about a future that is way ahead of us," he says making me laugh.

"It's good to think about it as early as possible," I point out. "At least you get to see a glimpse of what you want in it for yourself."