Chapter 19

I take an obligatory gulp of my chili-rimmed michelada. "Two things have never been more dramatic: The number of social media content and the craving for knowledge by the younger generation."

"Sexy, sexy. Go on." Anna nods, drumming her nails on the steering wheel.

We're in Anna's car, on our way to Big Bear. She somehow managed to mix cocktails while packing her bag this morning and convinced me that openly drinking alcohol in a moving car was a great idea.

I take another gulp. "Which is why, now more than ever, we need to talk about how mental disorders often get misdiagnosed."

"A little clunky, but go on."

"Too many seek help for OCD, depression, autism, anxiety, when in reality those are symptoms of complex post traumatic stress disorder. It's like labeling food allergies 'chronically itchy eyes.'"

"Oh, love that! That last line is the one."

"Thanks." I glare at Anna. "That's the one line I didn't come up with."

Zhoe pops from the back seat, face looking plastered. "We're going to Big Bear to party for fuck's sake. No work talk!"

"Girl, I know, I got you." Anna smirks. "Why do you think I'm getting Mia drunk?"

"I'm not going to get drunk. I literally have to meet the HMA ambassadors in three hours for a preliminary review."

"But I thought your boss said you're already part of the seminar." She scrunches her baby face with a pout.  "Why are they still interviewing you?"

"The big guys probably want to see what they're investing in." I shrug. "I don't know. Maybe they're worried about my age."

I don't know how I ended up here. I shouldn't have come at all.

First, I have a video interview at 10 PM with the Mental Health Association ambassadors in Australia — or as Dr. Dennis likes to call them — the chapels of psych networks.

Impressing them would land a gloat-worthy stamp on my tenure review. Ensure a one-way ticket to a permanent teaching position. I've been losing sleep over it for the last two nights.

Second, the three bedroom cabin is a trap waiting to happen. Not only will sexy Jake and I be under the same roof, but we'll be surrounded by drunk people and smartphones. It's like I'm stupid or something.

So why am I here? Why?

My best friend Anna really likes Ramon. And she never likes anyone. And she always ruins any relationship that she starts. She needs me here to support her. Be there for her in case she freaks out.

Whether it's guilt or an excuse, Anna's selflessly helped me when I've been at my worst and I'm not about to turn my back on her because of my infatuation.

All I need to do is treat Jake as a friend when others are around. I can do that.

"So how many people are going to be there?" I ask for the millionth time.

"Not that many, Ramon's not likeable." She smiles at his name."The guy gets pissed off at everything."

"Anna you're the everything," I emphasize. "You love getting him angry."

"Ugh, I do." She moans, making Zhoe and I laugh.

"What?" she says innocently. "It's completely unintentional."

"Uh-huh." I roll my eyes and she smacks her lips.

Maluma purrs through the speakers, lightening up the mood despite the dark road ahead. Anna slaps the steering wheel and bounces in her seat.

"But when he gets that angry look in his eyes and manhandles me... I just die!"

"Wonderful," I deadpan. "So happy my room is next to yours."

"Don't worry, babe. You'll be too busy to notice." She wiggles her eyebrows.

"No." I snort. "I won't be."

"Psht, we'll talk tomorrow morning."

The car hums through the freeway; we have half an hour left until my social anxiety flashes her titties. Thankfully I got a couple of joints to keep it down. As a mental health expert, I should be ashamed of that, but I'm in desperate need of a shortcut, despite any moral objections.

Zhoe breaks the peace with a cackle. "Mia's going to be like 'YES, JAKE. HARDER, SPANK ME HARDER. OOOH TEACH ME A LESSON. TEACH ME.'

I choke mid-drink, spraying the red liquid all over my white sweater. Anna laughs like a maniac and proceeds to imitate me with a version of her own. 

~

"Fuck me," I groan.

The cabin roars with intoxicated strangers and promises of doom. Music that's like a migraine, beer pong smacks on the table, and cheers of drunk women flood my ears before Ramon even opens the door.

"Did you invite the whole town?" Anna gapes as Ramon opens the door, swaying a little bit.

"Only close friends." He hands us shot glasses, pouring the vodka that was tucked under his arm. "Now don't be rude and wish me a happy birthday!"

I frown at the village in front of me. There's no way I'll get any privacy or quiet for the interview. Looks like I'll need to get it done in Anna's car...

"I'm going to rehearse, I'll party later." I give the shot glass back and hug him. "Happy birthday, Ramon."

"You spilled something on your shirt."

~

Not that the sleeping arrangement has been verbally planned out, but I intend to have the room to myself. Anna and Ramon will share a room next to me, Zhoe and her new boo will take the other, and the demon can crash on the couch. And if he gives me a hard time, I'll take the couch myself.

Speaking of the demon, he's running late. His chances of coming this weekend were low to begin with. According to Jake, the only time his dad is okay with him taking any time off is when he's in the hospital. I asked him if he was joking and he just laughed in response.

But from the way he talks about his family, I wouldn't be surprised if his family made a habit of taking advantage of him.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a child of an immigrant parent myself. We have that guilt of making up for what our parents left behind for the sake of our futures.

But the whole 'I sacrificed so much so that you have a better life and now you must show appreciation by not living it' is defeating the whole purpose.

Maybe I'm being protective...

Anyway, I shouldn't think about him. I have enough to worry about.

Thirty minutes into rehearsing for the interview, Anna drags me out of the room to relax. And by relax, I mean sitting by the kitchen island with my laptop cornered by red party cups and pretending to listen to the conversation Anna's having with some women.

"So are you guys single?" One with sleek black hair asks. In contrast to her dark lips, my lip balm makes me feel like I'm still going through puberty. Not to mention she's in a bodycon dress while I'm in a black button down with matching under-eye bags.

"I'm single," Anna declares and I pinch her arm. "Ow! Um, I guess Ramon and I are sort of talking." She looks at me sheepishly. Great, I'm here to be her bullshit chaparron.

"I'm single like a Dorito," Zhoe slurs. Pretty sure she meant to say Pringle.

"Ugh, same." The dark haired goddess rolls her eyes. "But I hope we meet some cute guys tonight. It's been a while, with work and all."

"What do you do?" I perk up. Work talk, yay!

"I'm an interior designer. I love construction and house designs." She pulls out a business card from her purse and hands it to me. Daniela Danaian. Damn.

Suddenly Ramon hollers from across the room. "Brother!"

My heart skyrockets before my eyes even find him.

Unrestrained smile, playful dimples, a sleek jawline, and rugged stubble. Eyes rich like cognac. Soft hair asking for a pull, neck taunting for tongue and teeth.

"Dibs." I hear Daniela beside me.

No way.

My eyes snap to her.

She smiles at me. "I want him."

"Oh..." Anna chuckles. "Actually, he's—"

I pinch her so hard she yelps, causing Jake to notice us.

My breath catches in my throat when our eyes lock. The intensity in his gaze... can anyone else notice it? Are we too obvious? Is my face red?

He pushes through the crowd and stands before us, smelling incredible.

"Hey guys." He gives Anna a polite hug then raises his brow at me, perhaps noticing my flustered state. "Hi Mia..." He wraps me in his arms and the breath I was holding spills on his neck. A chill runs down my spine when his stubble grazes my cheek. He lets go too soon.

"Hi there, I'm Daniela." The black-haired seductress extends a perfectly manicured hand, eyes glossed with unmoving confidence. "And who are you?"

"I'm Jake." He shakes her hand before looking around. "Where did Ramon go? Ah, there he is!"

Pretty sure Ramon is in the bathroom. I bite my lip to hide my smile.

"Jake." Daniela raises an intrigued eyebrow. "Sounds delicious."

~

There's thirty minutes left until the interview of a lifetime.

I'm already in Anna's car, duct taping a couple of smartphone flashlights on the inside walls for some decent lighting. It's ridiculous but so is having a Zoom meeting at 10 PM.

I go back to the kitchen for a bottle of water when I spot Daniela and Jake in front of the refrigerator, engaged in a conversation with both of them looking down at her phone.

"That's stunning," Jake compliments, standing over her shoulder. "You're really good at your job! I know my dad would love that design."

I don't know what's worse, his naive compliment or her Cheshire cat smirk.

"Thank you." Daniela gloats, tilting her chin up. "You should connect me with him, maybe we can work on some projects together."

He raises his eyebrows. "That would be great."

How hard is he trying to impress his dad?

Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

I grab my water and shut the refrigerator door. When I turn around, Jake's walking away to answer a phone call. Daniela sees me and widens her eyes.

"Oh my God, girl, it's fate. He's in construction, can you believe it?"

"Wow." I smile, hoping I don't look murderous. "I hope I get an invite to your wedding."

She laughs with delight and I quickly excuse myself out of there.

I stand by the outside patio and take a deep breath. The chill air cools my flushed face. I close my eyes, trying to settle my mind and the hurricane of emotions stirring inside. I have no reason to be jealous. We're not dating.

Right on cue, Jake comes out and stands next to me.

"It's cold," he says tiredly. "You should go inside."

"Thanks, mom."

He sighs, running his hand through his hair.

There you go. I was waiting for him to get tired of me. This is what I expected all along.

"Daniela's nice," I drawl, looking ahead. "You guys have a lot in common."

"Yeah. I can't believe I've never heard about her before. She's pretty huge in her field."

"Hm, that's nice."

"You okay?" He narrows his eyes.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, you seem off."

"I'm not."

"You're being more snappy than usual."

"So what?"

"If you're upset about something, you should talk about it." He gives me a half-hearted smile. "That's kind of your profession."

"You take one trauma class and suddenly you're an expert?" I scoff. "Mind your own business."

His eyes flash with surprise and hurt, but he looks away. With another sigh and a small head shake, Jake steps down the stairs and quietly walks towards the gate.

I watch him pull out his phone and take another call. His gestures and expression tell me he's in a heated argument. Probably work-related.

Fifteen minutes left. I need to focus. This will define my career. My petty jealousy over a guy in need of his daddy's approval is not important.

"Mia?" Anna comes out of the house. "Have you seen Jake?"

I point my chin towards him and she covers her mouth. "Oh God... I feel so bad..."

"What happened?" Did someone get hurt? Is it his family?"

Anna's brows scrunch with concern. "Ramon just told me that he made a huge mistake and his dad has been calling him nonstop to fix it."

"What type of a mistake?" I cross my arms, turning to her.

"I don't know, some miscalculations on a budget sheet." She cups her cheeks in disbelief. "I think he was rushing to come here and didn't double check it."

"Oh God..." I frown, feeling bad for him. "Okay, can't he fix it?"

"Not sure, he probably needs a computer."

"How bad is the mistake?" I bite my lip and she leans to whisper in my ear.

"It could cost them half a million dollars."

My eyes bulge out of my sockets but before I can say anything, Daniela steps out of the house with the grace of a cat.

"What's going on out here?" She immediately notices Jake standing by the gate, with his head hung low, typing something on the phone. "Uh-oh, someone's in trouble."

"Yeah, he's having some work issues." Anna tries to brush her off.

"Ah, I can relate." She nods like a wise monk. "I'll go talk to him." Then off she goes after Jake.

I scoff, turning to go inside the car. I don't have time for this.

I sit in the car and turn the lights on. Turn Zoom on. Check how I look.

My gaze lifts to where Daniela and Jake are standing. She puts her hand on his arm and he shakes his head in deep distress. She's fixated on him but he's looking away, mind somewhere else.

Even from afar, they match so well. Tall, dark, and confident. They would probably live in a mansion with the most stylish design and have five stylish kids with stylish names who would go to stylish schools.

I take a deep breath and fake a smile at the selfie-camera. A minute later, an incoming call rings and I click the answering button to be greeted by three academic elders. They look through the lens with weary faces and old suits.

"Hi, thank you so much for meeting with me." I greet first, voice as professional as ever.

"Dr. Ayan, it's such a pleasure." The man with a raspy voice and white hair replies, adjusting his glasses. "Are you sitting in a car?"

"I am." I say sheepishly. "I'm so sorry. I'm away for the weekend and this was the only place with privacy. But I promise you, I am thoroughly prepared and so grateful for the opportunity."

"Ah, no problem. That makes perfect sense." His face lights up and I sigh in relief. "Okay, well why don't you give us a quick introduction of yourself."

"Of course." I smile, leaning closer to the camera. "As you know—"

Jake passes in front of my car and sits on the steps of the porch. I don't think he realizes that I can see him.

He rests his forearms on his knees with his head down, looking defeated.

"Dr. Ayan?" One of the ambassadors pulls my attention back.

"I'm sorry." I pry my eyes away from Jake. "Yes, I'm a certified therapist and the youngest Associate Professor at AU since—"

Jake lifts his head and runs his hand down his face, forehead creased with turmoil. I've never seen him so lost and broken. My heart sinks for him.

"Dr. Ayan, is something wrong with your connection?"

"I... uh..." I slowly turn my face back to the ambassadors.

~

"Take my laptop." I tell Jake, standing in front of him.

He looks at my laptop then lowers his head back down."It's fine."

I scoff impatiently and take a seat next to him. Our knees touch and I bump my shoulder with his. It's so weird to be on this side. The one comforting him.

"You can access your spreadsheet and fix your mistake right now."

"It's too late."

"Says who?" I ask but he doesn't reply. "Who, Jake?"

"My dad." He mutters under his breath.

"Is he right?" I press, anger growing inside.

He sighs, lifting his head but staring into nothing. "I don't know, Mia."

"Then why would you listen to him?" I push the laptop on his lap. "Take the damn thing and fix it anyway. Then call him and tell him you did it."

"Why are you being so stubborn about it..." He furrows his eyebrows, staring at the laptop like he doesn't understand what it is.

"Because you're being sensitive about something that's an inevitable part of life. We all make mistakes. Doesn't mean we should give up. Fight for it. Call whatever client you've upset and apologize, negotiate, do whatever you need. But don't sit and sulk about it."

He finally turns his head towards me, eyes boring into mine with exhaustion and sadness I've never seen. He's also never been this quiet before.

"I'm sorry that you feel this way." I say more softly. "But it's never too late. And it's not about never making a mistake. It's about how you bounce back from it. Didn't you tell me what's worth the prize is always worth the fight?"

The corners of his lips lift up a little, dissolving the tension of his jaw. I bite my lip and nudge him again, raising my eyebrows at the laptop.

"Get to it."

"So bossy..." He murmurs with faint playfulness.

I smile at that. My heart swells when the warmth in his eyes comes back.

"Where were you, by the way? I didn't hear the door open," he notes.

"Don't worry about it."

~~ A/N ~~

Awwww, are we finally seeing some character development?

That seminar was a huge deal to Mia. I wonder if she even realizes why she sacrificed it. I guess we'll find out.

Thank you SO MUCH to my readers. Thank you endlessly <3