probably going to be my favorite chapter for a while. then again i say that about a lot of chapters.
song for this chapter: I Hear A Symphony by Cody Fry
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JOY

Another thing daddy always taught me while growing up was to make myself known to those around me. I was raised with the mindset that talents were given to be shown, not to be hidden. Some people call it conceit, the Valentines called it dignity.

So I was put into endless practicing to prepare me for the portrayal of my talent to the world. Daddy and Mom would yell at me, spank me, bribe me, all so that I would get to the level of expertise that I'm at now. The past me would say she dreaded it. The present me, however, knew it was worth all the hard work.

The day finally came.

It was showcase day.

"Yes, mom. There are reserved seats for you and daddy at the front of the auditorium," I said as I fixed the sleeve of my white dress.

"No, I'm not wearing those shoes," I responded. "Yes, I'm wearing my red bottoms."

I pulled the skirt of my dress down as I looked in the mirror. "Okay, say hi to daddy for me." I hung up and threw my phone on the couch against the wall.

I've been in my dressing room for three hours now. Taegan's been popping in and out but every time someone knocks I hope it's Namjoon.

He hasn't contacted me all day. Not that he had to, but it was an important day for me. The least he could do is send me a bouquet. No, a text asking if I needed anything. For example, some company?

I groaned, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I didn't know what was heavier at the moment. The bags under my eyes or the pressure I felt right now. Either way, I felt my nerves getting to me.

"Pull it together Joy." I sighed and fixed my makeup, making sure it wasn't too cake-y but pretty enough for people to say it's natural.

I grabbed my mascara and my hands couldn't stop shaking. I paused for a moment and picked it up again, only to have it fall from my hands.

"For fucks sake—" I kneeled down to get it. When I stood back up I gasped. I was crying with my eyeliner running. More tears coming down my face when I rush to get makeup removers to clean my face with the same drilling question roaming my mind.

Why was I crying?

I was in so much shock I didn't hear the door open behind me.

"There's my star—Oh no. Joy is everything okay?"

I turned around and Tia looked at me with concern, empathy almost.

"I-I thought it was but I don't know anymore." I broke down. Sobbing and taking a seat on the couch, I struggled to even breathe properly. I was huffing and every breath that came out was staggered.

Tia looked towards the door with concern before coming to sit beside me on the couch. "Joy, please don't cry. I know it's been awhile since performing but come on, it's just for fun right?"

"For fun?" I looked at her with disbelief.

"Yeah," she chuckled hesitantly. "It's not like you're actually trying to win the scholarship. If you did, you'd have to transfer schools and we couldn't do our writing together."

"Tia, what the hell?" I stood up. "Do you not think I could win the scholarship?"

Taegan stood up, too, scoffing. "It's not like that, Joy. You're not getting that scholarship because we agreed to write together. That's why we came to Swan Academy. That's why I worked my butt off to get here. Are we not doing this together anymore?"

"Can you be any more selfish?" I yelled, throwing my hands forward. Taegan slightly flinched; even I was startled at my outburst. I sighed. "Tia—"

"I'm leaving." Taegan shook her head and started for the door.

"Tia, wait." I turned around.

She grabbed onto the door handle, "Call me when you've remembered what we're here for," and slammed the door.

I stood there, staring at the door that my best friend had just slammed in my face. Not only was my romantic relationship slowly falling apart, but so was the relationship between me and my best friend.

I sank to the ground and my gaze caught on my violin case. It sat on the coffee table in the middle of the dressing room.

When I first arrived at Swan Academy, my main goal was to become a better writer. Now, I'm sitting on the ground of a dressing room, staring at a case that holds an instrument I will be playing for hundreds of people in hopes of winning a scholarship to one of the top music schools.

What was I at Swan Academy for?

***

"Joy Valentine?"

"Right here."

"You're up."

The space in between my hands and my violin and bow was covered in sweat.

After Taegan left, I fixed my appearance, wiping away the makeup on my eyes and re-doing it all. I wasn't satisfied with it, but I looked presentable enough. Namjoon still hadn't contacted me, and I knew Taegan wouldn't have my back today. Those problems weren't my top priority right now, though.

With every step onto the auditorium's stage, my legs weakened. I could feel everyone's eyes watch me with each click of my heel on the hardwood floor. The stage lights brightly lit the area around me, leaving the audience with little visibility. Still, I spotted my parents in the front row, and beside them sat...

Taehyung smiled up at me and my worries slowly began to fade away. My brother was here to watch me do the one thing he knew I had more passion for than anything. He was the one who encouraged me through the times where I didn't want to continue my musical journey. It's because of him that I'm here.

I rested my violin between my chin and shoulder and placed my fingers on the strings.
Looking at my piano accompanist, I began counting the beats to which we would play.
I mouthed to her and whispered to myself, "One, two, three, four."

The song began light. I plucked the strings with my fingers as my other hand held down the strings on the neck of the violin, changing pitch with each new placement.

Focus on a point until you can concentrate well my violin teacher always taught me. So my eyes scanned the room, trying to fixate on one thing. As I searched the room, my gaze landed on someone with eyes full of intrigue and admiration.

Jungkook came to my showcase. He sat close, about the sixth or seventh row from the stage. His eyes were wide with wonder and delight. Something I never noticed about him: he always viewed the world with awe.

He was my focus point; the place I would search for when I needed to concentrate. Jungkook smiled when he realized I was staring right at him. My nerves were completely gone as my song transitioned into a graceful masterpiece.

The contact of my bow sliding up and down against the strings of the violin created a sound I'd missed. I was so lost in the music that I could lose my vision and still be able to perform. It was beautiful what had been created through these wooden instruments. The way I could change the tone of the song from a saddened dance to a cheerful tune. Or how I could create softer sounds that led up to the greater sections of my piece.

The music piece came to an end with a soft, finishing whip of my bow against the strings. I kept my hand that held the bow in the air as the crowd stood up in applause. I reveled in their cheers and thought in that moment that this was what I wanted.

To perform in front of people. To bring joy to their faces through this musical gift I'd been blessed with.

My eyes shifted from my proud father to my shocked mother and then to my smiling brother. Taehyung cupped his lips with his hands and yelled a, "Woo, hoo!"

I smiled wide and signaled to my accompanist who bowed, and then I bowed, too. When I looked up, my eyes fixated on my focus point:

Jungkook, who was staring at me with the biggest, most genuine, and proud smile.

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WOOOO HOOOOO