guys I'm so excited

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EZRA — 12 YEARS OLD

Mom and dad dragged me to another party.

Well, I supposed I shouldn't say dragged because I was the one begging to go. I hated being inside the house for too long and the only freedom I got was at these parties.

The music, the food, and the people. It was definitely where I belonged.

My family was never rich, but we were always big. Six kids in all. I was the youngest, but also a twin. My twin sister, Esmé, highly disagreed with these events (for a reason I'm not sure of).

I would say we were above middle class, comfortable even. It was because of grandpa's big company that we were able to attend these events, though. He was a strong leader who took down bad guys, my older brother Nicholas would say.

Since I was only twelve, I didn't have many people to talk with at these events like my older siblings did.

It was dinner time. The food trays' covers began to disappear and the smell of delicious dishes filled my stomach with hunger.

I was walking back from the bathroom when I spotted a little boy. He looked cutely stupid. Kind of dorky. Brown bowl-cut hair and an untucked shirt.

I thought his arms were just tightly crossed until I spotted a long white ear rise from under the boy's arms. Then another one, and then a whole bunny's face appeared!

I suddenly snorted. The resemblance between the boy and the bunny was uncanny! The boy had chubby cheeks as the bunny did and a button nose that sort of drooped at the tip. Just like a bunny!

I walked up to him, and I could have sworn he almost shrieked.

"Hi, bunny boy. I'm Ezra." I held my hand out for him, but he just stared at it.

I snorted. "Okay, then. Can I see your bunny—"

His hand immediately slapped over my mouth. "Stop! They can't know that Whiskers is here."

I stuck my tongue out to lick his hand and he let out an, "Ah!"

I giggled as he wiped his hand on his pants. "You're disgusting, lady!"

I put my hands on my hips. "The name's not lady, it's Ezra. I already told you that. Now, what's your name?"

He hesitated and hugged his bunny tighter.

"Well, don't suffocate the poor thing."

"I'm Jungkook." His little pre-puberty voice squeaked.

I immediately smiled. "It's nice to meet you, Jungkook. We're going to be the best of friends!"

"Jump, Whiskers!" Jungkook held his hand high for his bunny. Whiskers leaped and hit his nose against Jungkook's small hand.

I giggled at the cute bunny and looked at Jungkook. It had only been about fifteen minutes, and the two of us were already getting along so well.

After taking the liberty to explore the house, we had hidden in a big closet inside an even bigger bedroom. We had only the closet light on as we watched Whiskers do tricks that I didn't know existed.

"Whiskers, look here! Bang!" Jungkook made finger guns with his hands at Whiskers and pretended to fire at the bunny. Whiskers fell to the floor, playing dead.

I began to laugh so hard my stomach hurt. Jungkook giggled along with me, and then he gasped.

"Let's play hide and seek! I'll count, then you and he can go hide."

"Whiskers knows how to play?" I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"Yeah, of course, he does. He's not a dumb bunny." Jungkook shook his head, and I smiled.

"Of course not. My little whiskers is a good boy!" I pat his head.

"Okay now go!" Jungkook shooed me out of the closet, and Whiskers followed behind me.

I ran down the stairs and through the long hallways that Jungkook and I had just explored together. He was a fun boy, and I was glad I had met him.

I was running and running until I found a big chair to hide behind. I looked around and realized Whiskers wasn't with me. But I heard Jungkook shout from the staircase that he was coming, so I dismissed the fact that Whiskers wasn't here. Jungkook said he wasn't a dumb bunny, so he'll find a hiding spot, I'm sure.

I peeked my head out of my hiding spot to try and spot Jungkook. When I did, he saw me, and I quickly jumped out and began to run.

"I found you, Ezra, don't run from me!" Jungkook shouted, chasing me from behind.

I laughed and continued to run.

People were staring at us running past them, but we didn't care. We were just little kids with no rules and big smiles on our faces.

Once Jungkook caught up to me, he crossed his arms. "That wasn't fair. I had already found you."

I giggled and poked his cheek. "You're just too slow, you sore loser."

Jungkook rolled his eyes. "Am not. By the way, where did Whiskers go?"

Suddenly, we both heard the sound of glass plates and cups crashing and people screaming and trying to shoo something away.

Jungkook froze and looked at me in fear. "I think that's Whiskers."

"If my grandpa finds me, I'm done for! Ezra, we have to go find Whiskers!" Jungkook began to fiddle with his hands, placing them at the top of his head and then wiping them on his shirt. "What are we going to--"

"Jungkook Jeon!"

Jungkook shrieked.

"What is Whiskers doing here?" An older man came towards Jungkook and me, and I shriveled underneath his stare. "And what do you think you're doing, we have no extra clothes for you!"

I looked down to see what the older man meant by that and tried my best not to laugh. Behind Jungkook's butt was a big dark spot. He had peed his pants out of fear.

"Come with me, now." The older man came towards us and grabbed Jungkook's arm.

I was trying to think of all the possible things to say to get my friend out of this mess. Think, Ezra, think. Normally, you're good at this!

"I did it!" I held my arm out and the older man turned back at me.

"Pardon me?" He spoke.

"I let Whiskers loose." I stood my ground. "Jungkook really had to use the bathroom so he told me to watch his bunny. But of course, I've never had a bunny before so why would he trust me to keep an eye on Whiskers if I don't even know how to watch him? Then again, it's not his fault because I let the bunny out of my sight. It's really not Jungkooks' fault, he just had to pee! But now he peed in his pants cause you scared him and--" I realized what I was saying towards an elder and quickly stopped myself. "I'm sorry. It was me. I'll help clean up and do dishes and sweep and mop and everything!"

"Really? For 300 people?"

I grimaced, then smiled and placed my hand on my hip. "How about fifty of 'em?"

***

EZRA -- PRESENT TIME

"God, you still have this?" I laughed while Esmé yanked the frame from my hands. I was in my old room where the wallpaper was still the same dusty pink. Our favorite boy bands still posted on the walls with our dreams that would only go so far.

"And? You're acting as if I would just throw it all away."

I sighed and watched as she placed the frame back with the rest of our memories. Each memory filled with that same nostalgia of what my life was like before. Those parties that seemed endless with each mansion I was running around in; how much fun I used to have that was suddenly stripped away from me.

She took a step back with a smile on her face and a hand on her round stomach. It still surprises me that I was going to be an aunt. To make it even better she was pregnant with twins; two boys that would be just as rowdy as us.

Us. That word seemed to be suffocating me lately; straining my mind of the little free space it has left since it was always full of other thoughts. Defining what 'us' really meant has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do lately.

"How's that boyfriend of yours?"

"Which one?" She laughed. "I'm not talking about your hookups. I'm asking about Jungkook. I miss that boy." Esmé smiled while I winced at the thought of him.

That starry-eyed, bunny boy that felt so close, yet so far. This has been the most distance I've had with him in my entire life. I felt like an entire half of me was missing.

I gulped, "He's alright." Esmé turned around and read me like every scripture from the Bible. Our family was religious, mainly Esmé. She didn't follow every word in the book but you will find her up at six in the morning every Sunday.

"Alright? No weird argument or bizarre storytime that I need to hear?" I held my head down while she leaned to look me in the eyes. Once she realized she sighed.

It was almost like an unspoken word; a simple sigh between the both of us. Something we can sympathize with and worth more than the explanation itself. I couldn't even bring myself to understand the explanation.

I lost the one person who understood me. He's gone now because I let him slip away from me.

"What happened?" Esmé's hand was gently placed under my chin and lifted my head. Her smile always soothed me.

"You can always talk to me, Ezra." She smiled and, fuck, this was why I came home, for this comfort. To get away from the stress of being Ezra. At home, I can be Ezra.

"Thanks, sis but I'll tell you after I talk to mom."

Esmé froze. Her face went white as if all the nutrition from her body left. She tried to play it off with a nod but even that looked uncomfortable for her. I bit my lip, trying not to pry since I've only been here for a few hours and she must be exhausted from picking me up.

"Those boys making you nauseous already?"

Esmé didn't smile but instead nodded with this shaky look in her eyes.

"Just a tiny bit," She gulped while her grip on my arm tightened, and I was more worried than concerned.

"Are you sure you didn't get like food poisoning or something cause you really look—"

"Ezra." Her eyes stared at me dead on with no intention of looking away. Now I was curious and worried. What the fuck was making my sister act like this?

"Mom's sick, Ezra."

"What?"

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hiiiiiii