thank u for all the love on our book besties

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JOY

"Where are we going?" I laughed.

Namjoon had called me at five in the morning and the next second he knocked on my door. I was still in my pajamas and barely slipped on a pair of slippers when he dragged me out of my dorm room with a smile on his face. 

"Namjoon, it's still dark out! What could we possibly—"

He opened the passenger door of his car and signaled for me to get inside before buckling me in. I laughed at his gesture as he quickly made his way to the drivers seat.

He started the car and took my hand in his. "I have a surprise for you."

"Do you?" I asked, sitting back, still smiling.

"Mhmm," He hummed and grabbed my hand as he backed out of the students parking lot.

"And where will we be going for that surprise?"

"Like seven minutes away, depending on if you're a coffee person." He glanced at the screen in his car for the time. "Are you a coffee person?"

"I drink tea, babe." I commented. "It's one of the first things I told you, you should know that." I jokingly smacked his shoulder.

"You're right. I should know that. I'm starting to realize I should ask you more questions. Like what's with the nickname babe?"

"Isn't that what couples call each other?"

"But we should have our own personal nicknames. Babe is basic."

"Well what's yours for me, then?"

"Princess, duh."

"Oh, right. Hmm, I don't know what to call you then."

"You're princess so shouldn't that make me prince?"

"No." I pointed to nowhere. "That's awkward."

Namjoon snickered. "Just call me Joonie."

"That's so, baby-ish, though, like that girl Jungkook was with. She calls him 'Kookie' Bleh." I stuck my tongue out.

"You met Ezra?"

"The snobby, too quick to get irritated, overprotective girl who pushes Jungkook around?"

"She doesn't push Jungkook around," Namjoon said, chuckling.

"It seemed like it. Jungkook looked like he wanted to leave the place."

"Ah, he told me about a lunch date Ezra asked him on. I didn't know it was a date date."

"He probably didn't know either."

"Yeah," Namjoon said in an 'eh' tone. He stopped at a red light and scratched the back of his neck.

"Unless he did and just went with it," I said. "But who would go on a date with someone they don't want to?"

"Well, it's not like he didn't want to. It's complicated."

"How?"

"Let's just say he's confused."

"If I guess correctly what's happening will you say that I'm right?" I turned towards him excitedly.

The light turned green and he turned to me with a chuckle before pressing the gas and looking forward again. "Why do you want to know so badly?"

"Because it's interesting now that we're talking about it. And we have a long drive."

"It's right around the corner now."

"Still."

Namjoon sighed, shrugging. "I'll say yes if you get it correct."

I clapped my hands as Namjoon pulled into a parking lot, stopping the car in front of a lamp post. He unbuckled then let us both out of the car.

"Let me just grab the blankets."

Namjoon led us to a small hill, setting the blanket down on the ground. He took off his shoes and stepped on it, urging me to do the same. I laughed aloud, something I realized I did continuously when we were together. He made me so happy.

Namjoon pulled his phone out of his pocket, beginning to play a familiar tune. "My mom showed me this song. She told me to only dance with two ladies in my life."

"And who would those two ladies be?" I smiled.

"My mother, of course," He replied, then grabbed my torso with one hand and my free hand with the other. Namjoon swayed to the right. "And with the special woman in my life."

Thank God it was dark. My face was probably bright red as I shoved my head against his chest. "You're embarrassing me." I whined.

Namjoon smiled. "I'm ready for you to guess."

I shot my head up. "Well, if he wanted to go on that date that means he has to like her. But you said he's confused which means maybe something happened that lead up to him being confused about his feelings for her."

I thought for a second before gasping, "Did they have sex?"

Namjoon burst out laughing. "Jungkook and sex do not belong in the same sentence."

I stood there as my boyfriend laughed his heart out. I couldn't help but smile. "What then? What else could have happened?"

"Nothing that life changing, I promise." Namjoon replied. "You got the other part right somehow though."

"You gave easy hints."

Namjoon smiled and nodded. "In Junkook's defense, Ezra can be difficult to like sometimes."

"She demonstrated that wonderfully for me," My eyes widened for a second as I thought about the first impression she gave me.

Namjoon froze for a second before he asked, "Does she know that we're together?"

"Yeah, Jungkook told her."

"What did she say to you?"

I leaned back and thought about everything Ezra had said to me. Those two sentences that took forever to leave my head resurfaced.

"So it's true then." I let go of Namjoon's hand.

"What is, Joy?" Worry echoed through his voice and now I was so sure.

"Your past, those girls, the things you did to hurt them." I looked toward him, catching his tense gaze.

"Joy," Namjoon began but I cut him off.

"How could you do that? How do I know you're not doing that with me?"

"Woah, princess. No, I would never. Not to you."

"But to them? Namjoon—"

"No! Not anymore, I don't— I don't do that anymore."

Doubt and frustration caught at the back of my throat, stopping me from speaking anymore.

"I would never do anything to make you feel worse about yourself. I'll explain myself to you. I'll tell you everything just listen, please." Namjoon grabbed my hand, desperately squeezing it with care.

I turned my back to him, but nodded.

He sighed. "In high school I was the soccer prodigy from the slumps. Everyone in my hometown was so proud to hear I led my school to nationals. When the time had come and the game had just started I heard my Dad got out of prison. I couldn't focus and before I knew it I was at rehab, going through physical therapy." He looked away, pausing for second before continuing. "I was alone, again. No one came to see me, only sent flowers out of pity.  That was until I met a girl there. She was older than me by four years, but that didn't seem to stop either of us from seeing each other."

Namjoon took off his jacket that covered the sleeve of tattoos on his arm. He pointed at a small ink painting on his skin. Two hands, one above and one below a heart. "She gave me my first tattoo." He pointed to his ear. "My first piercing."

I stared at the black ink on his arm. It seemed to be the only tattoo I could look at.

"During my injury I was told that the doctors weren't sure when I would recover fully. And if I did they weren't sure if I could play soccer the way I used to, maybe not at all even. Soccer is such a big deal in my life. It's a part of me. It's the one thing that pushes me through, so when they told me the news, it took a huge toll on me."

"She was special to me because she helped me find...me. Her feelings for me were so out in the open," Namjoon paused again, then exhaled. "And yet when I, when she— well, she left me." He let out a small breath of unbelieving laughter. "She saved me only to put me back where I started."

"Joon," I started but he shook his head.

"Don't worry, I'm better now." He looked forward at the sky. "I am content with myself. I have lots of good people surrounding me and giving me reasons to live. Like Jungkook, my friends you met," Namjoon stepped in front of me. "and you."

I gulped.

"We all make mistakes and I hope you can understand my past self. I'm not happy with him and what he did, but he's a part of me and I have to accept that. Can you?" He smiled softly.

I placed my hand on the back of his head, rubbing my hands against his brown hair. Then I pulled him towards me, wrapping my arms around his neck to hug him. I squeezed reassuringly, closing my eyes as I kissed the part of his neck that was exposed to me.

"I want you," I said in a near-whisper. "I want you despite your mistakes. I make my own but I know you'll accept me with those, too."

"I will." He nodded. "I do."

Namjoon pulled away, still looking at me. "I was supposed to show you the sunrise while we danced, but it started already."

I smiled. "We can still watch. It's just the beginning."

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this was ok, sorry guys not my best :(