17th November

Andrew
ukw? i fought wid her again
its our worst ever yet

Me
am i supposed to know what you're talking about?

Andrew
yes
just listen, will u?

Me
ok go on

Andrew
ure a girl, right?

Me
last time i checked, yeah.

Andrew
can u help me out?

Me
its either that or take out the trash so sure

Andrew
rn i dont even care
so theres this girl

Me
im with u so far

Andrew
its hard for me to talk about it

Me
i see
so u talk to a stranger about it
good decision

Andrew
no im not kidding
and ure no longer a stranger
we've been talking for almost 2 mnths
also im just talking to you because u remind me of her

Me
okay i agree
but thats creepy bro

Andrew
ik

Me
so u were saying?

Andrew
i always piss her off no matter what without even trying to
i dont wnna do that

Me
so dont?

Andrew
its not that easy anna

Me
well it is
stop trying to talk to her
create distance!

Andrew
i dont want to lose her again

Me
the way ure talking it sounds like you dont have her in the first place

I wait for a minute but I don't get a reply. I re-read my text and wince at the brutality.

Me
i didnt mean that
hey
come back we'll sort it out
im sorry

Andrew
ur right
i dont have her anymore and thats the problem
i messed up

Me
im sure v can fix it
what did u do?

Again, I have to wait for his reply.

Andrew
i ghosted her

Me
i remember u telling me smthn along these lines
elaborate on it 2day
whyd u do it?

Andrew
hmm
i am not sure
i sort of liked her and i panicked

Me
talk to her

Andrew
i tried
she doesnt want to hear it

Me
idk dude
give her space?
force her to talk?

Andrew
i like the latter

Me
ofc u do

Andrew
ive been trying for almost two years
desperate times call for desperate measures

Me
i dont know what to say
thats a long time
maybe u should let go

Andrew
i tried

Me
try the classic sleeping around aimlessly trick
maybe ull get over her

Andrew
all that did was give me an std scare a year back
i stopped after that

Me
okay i did not need to know that
also i distinctly remember ur messages being very sexual at the beginning

Andrew
sorry
what r u talking about?

Me
u should b
wtf u dont remember?

Andrew
how can i make it up to u?
no i dont

Me
and here i thought chivalry was dead
go read our first conv again

Andrew
srsly tho
can i help u?
okay

Me
u seem so nice
y wont she listen?

Andrew
shes always been stubborn
oh that? i just saw the messages again
she was my girlfriend for a short while
i was talking about cupcakes princess
get ur mind out of the gutter

Me
so u forgot ur girlfriends name?
oh shut up!

Andrew
i dont really date but she forced me to
i knew her for like a day
shes on the cheer team apparently
she was demanding despite knowing i wasnt not interested
i ended things with her the next day

Me
u didnt have 2 explain this much but i get it

Andrew
thank god
now how can i make it up to u?

Me
just get her back dude! thatll do
unless u were ready to give a million dollars in return 4 my otherwise free advice

Andrew
i think i'll try getting her back

Me
u do that

Andrew
thank u

Me
dont mention it

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

19th November

The thunder cackles and I shiver. I've always hated storms. I want to sleep but I cannot. No one knows that I'm scared of the thunder except one person who is no longer an option. Not even Roman knows. I am restless so I make a reckless decision.

Me
hey drew
u awake?

Andrew
yeah wassup?

Me
nm
i just couldnt sleep

Andrew
why?

Me
y r u up?

Andrew
dont change the topic

Me
i dont like storms

Andrew
thats alright
u can talk to me

Me
thats the whole point

Andrew
lets distract u, shall we?

Me
i'd love that

Andrew
what did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?

Me
uve asked me this b4

Andrew
then answer me

Me
. . . oh sheet

Andrew
why is dark spelled with a K and not a C?

Me
idk

Andrew
because u cant C in the dark
get it?

Me
thats so lame

Andrew
why does tomato always knock on the refrigerator door before opening it?

Me
why?

Andrew
just in case theres a salad dressing

Me
r u serious right now?
lol

Andrew
knock knock

Me
wth

Andrew
just do it

Me
fine
who is it?

Andrew
Broken pencil

Me
broken pencil who?

Andrew
never mind its pointless

Me
that was the worst

Andrew
okay, lets try again.
why couldn't the bicycle stand on its own?

Me
im ashamed 2 say this but ik this one

Andrew
then answer me

Me
because it was two tired

Andrew
yeah!

I laugh at the screen. It's past two in the morning and I'm listening to a stranger tell me dad jokes. I would have thought he was indeed a sixty-year-old serial killer if we hadn't exchanged all those texts about school in the last few weeks.

He keeps me entertained for a long time. I forget about the storm and the thunder completely. We talk way into the night. I fall asleep sometime in between texting.

But while my mind is distracted from the storm, my heart is heavy with remembrance. This is just another reminder of what I had.

A few words are all that it took. Words cut deeper than a knife. I knew this before but now I understand it. 

I just wish I can forget.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *