"I'm getting too old for this shit!" Regis screamed as he barreled down a narrow cave tunnel. He held Fenris by the collar with one hand, his hammer gripped tight in the other, practically dragging the two of them along as a pack of angry skeletons chased after their boot heels.

He jumped over a shallow pool of stagnant water, sickly green light bouncing off its tepid surface, glowing eyes in deep, hollow sockets reflecting back. Fractal patterns of Black Glass glittered and winked off rattling arms and legs, clutching to the bone like tumors.

A quarter century ago Regis would have browned his trousers at the sight of them, but his time in the Empire had thoroughly dulled his senses towards such things, and as far as he was concerned this was more mildly annoying than gut wrenchingly frightful.

Sure, he was going to die, probably, but if dying was the only outcome, then who cared really. The Empress had proven death to be the least of his concerns, especially when she came to visit.

The narrow tunnel widened into a yawning chasm, the sounds of running water growing louder. Regis came to a halting stop before a series of pools feeding one another down a narrow cliffside. Tiny waterfalls carried the hidden spring towards a hollow gorge, and at the very edge slicing the narrow stream in two, was a towering crystal of pure Black Glass.

The very sight of it snatched his breath away. The crystal had grown organically into a fan of jutting boundaries, sharpened points, and geometric ridges, looming as tall as a Byzantian clock tower, and radiating with equal menace.

He remembered staring at one of them once, watching the tower's metal fingers meticulously count the day, creating time out of nothing. It baffled him back then as the crystal did now.

"Harald!" Fenris snarled as he wrenched himself free of his limp grip. "Quit daydreaming! Look over there!" He jabbed a finger out towards the gorge, and Regis followed it.

His guts caved in the moment he realized what Fenris was pointing at. More sickly, glowing eyes flickered into life within the crystal, bodies swimming through the glass as if it were water, clawing at the surface, trying to pull themselves free.

"This is why I farking hate magick!" Regis roared, mind racing on what to do next. "Because of shit like that!" He lashed his hammer out, catching a skeleton in the chest and sending it crunching back into the arms of its undead compatriots.

"Come on!" Regis nabbed Fenris by the collar once more and jumped off the edge, dragging the poor man with him into one of the outstretched basins. The entire structure came apart upon impact, snapping off at the base and hurling the two of them down on a crumbling stone sled.

"If we die," Fenris screamed. "I hope your Gods burn you alive!"

"Tell 'em to get in line!"

To their fortune, their impromptu sled came apart at the very last second, pitching the two of them over at the bottom and sending them flopping end over end on smooth, slick stones. A ridge of tough rock caught Regis in the shoulder and he came to an unhappy stop, bruised knuckles still gripped tight around the hammer.

He rose shakily to his feet, boots scuttling for purchase on the wet floor, crystal tower growing brighter and brighter ahead of him as more of the dead awakened, pouring out like maggots in a carcass.

The hairs on his neck shot up. He turned around. His skeletal friends from earlier stood crowded along the edges from where he'd tumbled down, a few of them crawling down in pursuit. He really was caught between two battles this time, and with only a crazy bastard like Fenris as backup.

Today was looking to be quite the shit show.

Regis turned back around towards the glass monolith, studying it, thinking of what he could do to get out of this mess, and found himself smiling. As if by some miracle a great stalactite protruded out from the rocky ceiling, directly above the crystal. His eyes followed the edges surrounding it, and found a ledge he might be able to use to climb up to. All he needed to do was make it happen.

"Fenris," Regis called out.

"Over here!" The man limped out from the shadows, a little banged up, but looking no worse for wear. "Got a plan, or are we going to die down here?"

"Shut your farking mouth and listen up. We're gonna bring that rock up there down on the crystal and shatter it." Regis pointed at the stalactite with his hammer. "I'll hit it. You cover me. That's all I want."

Fenris sneered at him. "Not much I can do with my sword against those tough bastards, but I'll do my best."

Regis thought about it for a moment, then tossed the hammer at Fenris, the man's eyes going wide as he caught it, hefting it up with both hands.

"I'll do you one better," he said. "Think you can handle it?"

Fenris twirled the hammer in his hands, adjusting to the weight with surprising ease. "Oh, I think this'll do just nicely."

Without warning he swung the hammer, smashing it into a nearby skeleton, showering them both in bone splinters and crystal shards.

"Come on! Let's go!" Fenris charged off towards the rising edge of the cavern, swinging the hammer deftly from one side to the next against anyone or anything that got in his way. A few skeletons broke rank from the base of the tower and made to intercept him, only to be dashed apart in a tornado of pure Star Steel.

It was all quite impressive really. Regis ran after the lad, head swimming in bewilderment at the sight of it all. He hadn't taught the boy how to use the hammer. Didn't even know he could swing the damned heavy thing, and here he was beating all expectations. Made him feel proud, in a strange sort of way.

"Up here! Follow me!" Fenris pointed at the ledge Regis spotted earlier. The lad clambered along the slope, using the hammer as leverage before sliding down onto his stomach. "Take my hand! I'll pull you up!"

"You farking better!" Regis jumped, snatching hold of Fenris and making damn sure his grip was tight. He felt his arm nearly ripped from its socket as he was hauled up, the click and snap of teeth gnashing at his bootheels as eager skeletons piled up along the bottom, hungry for his death.

"I really hate magick," Regis muttered as he stared down at them. "Have I told you how much I hate magick?"

"Several times, actually." Fenris scrambled further along the ledge, fingers digging into protruding rock, hammer scraping along the stones. "Now quit your belly aching and climb, damn it!"

Regis didn't need to be told twice. A hand lurched up and snatched at his boot, bony fingers ripping at the battered leather. He stomped down on it, crunching it into shards, but he might as well have tried stomping a rock to death for all the good he was doing. He chased after Fenris as more and more hands clawed into view, glowing eyes leering over eager smiles set in a rictus grin.

He didn't look back, continuing his mad ascent towards the stalactite. Fenris was already on his feet by the time he reached the ledge, grateful for the lad's strength as he was hauled up.

Only then did Regis make the mistake of looking down, the bottom a glittering rush of eerie green as the crystal radiated off the bodies of the undead, its surface flashing and glittering like cursed treasure.

"Come on, we need to keep moving." Fenris clapped Regis across the breastplate, shaking him from his stupor. "We're nearly at the top."

"Nido's tits, how big is this place?"

"Big enough!" Fenris jumped, fingers digging into the rock as he hoisted himself up, feet kicking against a budding stalactite and shattering it. Several shafts of sharpened rock came tumbling down, cracking apart at Regis' feet.

"Watch it! Could have run me through, you daft bastard!"

"Would have saved me the trouble!" Fenris barked back. He lurched down, caught Regis by the wrist and hauled him up like he was nothing more than firewood.

The stalactite was just over yonder now. Regis ducked low as he trudged over to it, helmet scraping against the ceiling, Fenris budging at his side.

"All right, give me the hammer." Regis held his hand out. "I'll smash the damn thing and we can call it a day."

"I think I should be the one to do it," Fenris said. "I've been swinging it the entire time, now haven't I?"

"This isn't about who swung it the most or not! Give me the hammer!"

"I think I've earned the right!"

"What bloody right?"

"The right I deserve for getting dragged along this sorry mess of yours in the first place!"

Regis was getting bloody mad now, jaw muscles pulsing with every heartbeat. He was about to open his mouth and swear to every God and Goddess known to mankind, when he caught sight of something. A few bony fingers slithered into view around them, a host of sickly green eyes slowly rising after.

"Fine! You do it!" Regis said. "I don't farking care anymore!"

"Thank you!" Fenris smiled, leaned back and swung the hammer out in a wide arc, striking the stalactite squarely at the base. Rock and metal came together in an earth shattering thud, sending shockwave after shockwave through Regis and making his teeth buzz.

The stalactite shuddered, a deep crack forming along the body, but otherwise still wholly intact.

"You'll have to do better than that," Regis screamed.

"I'm trying!" Fenris swung again, deepening the crack further, but the lump of rock refused to budge.

"Come on! They're getting closer!"

"I can see that, Harald!" Fenris went to swing for a third time before a bony hand lashed out from the darkness, catching it by the haft. A bony face leered out from the shadows, the glint in its sockets mere pinpricks of light.

"Damned thing!" Regis lashed out, smashing the skeleton's skull in, sending it tumbling down in a clattering heap. He grabbed hold of the hammer, but Fenris wouldn't let go.

"I'll do it! It's the only way! "He grabbed hold of the hammer, but Fenris wouldn't let go.

"I can do it!" Fenris pushed Regis away, tried to level himself, before another skeleton lept out, clawing at him, pulling at his arms, desperate to stop him.

"Fine then! You want to be stubborn about it! I can be stubborn too!" Regis reached out, grabbed the skeleton by the sternum and ripped it out. The entire chest came apart in an instant, bones crumbling down the cliffside.

Regis grabbed the hammer with both hands, but he didn't pull away this time. "On three. You and me. Got it?"

Fenris glared at him, then nodded. "On three."

"One."

"Two."

A host of undead flashed into view, a dozen or more all crawling, clambering, shambling after them, fingers outstretched, mouths wide in silent screams.

"Three!" Regis and Fenris swung the hammer in unison. It cleaved through several skeletons, its momentum undeterred, striking the stalactite with a resounding clap as loud as thunder. The crack at the base split open, and the sharpened point of rock went tumbling down.

Seconds passed in slow, aching seconds, before an ear splitting crash ripped the world back into life. Regis dared to look down. The heavy stalactite pierced the crystal clean through, its tip rammed into the ground below. A large crack split across the surface like a spider's web, but to his dismay it still stood wholly intact.

"It's not enough." Regis sat back, weighed his options, and knew full well what needed doing. "I'm going to have to drive it in, like a tent pole into the ground. Fark, I hate magick."

"What are you doing?" Fenris demanded.

"Putting that damned thing to rest." Regis ripped the hammer free and jumped before Fenris could stop him, raising the weapon high. The air tickled at his beard, at his hair, in his eyes. He heard Fenris screaming at him from above, but he couldn't make out the words. Probably something about his mother, perhaps.

The stalactite quickly came into view. With a painful grunt of effort, he brought the hammer down, striking as close to the top of the stone as possible.

The results were less than optimal, but about as effective as he'd expected. He hit the stalactite with the force of a falling star, nailing the wedge in deeper. His arms vibrated painfully upon impact, numb fingers losing their grip as he collided into the crystal seconds later.

The air whooshed out of him as he smashed his forehead against the smooth surface, the smell and taste of blood flooding his other senses. He flopped and rolled helplessly as gravity took hold of him, large chunks of crystal coming apart beneath him, light and shadow dancing like demons in his eyes.

By some mercy he found himself landing in a cold pool of water, the dull screech of a dying creature echoing in his muffled ears. The sickly green glow from earlier sputtered and died over the water's surface, bits of bone and glass raining down on him.

Regis flapped his nerveless arms towards the top, praying he'd done the right thing, that Fenris was okay, that he hadn't lost his hammer. It'd been a gift after all, and from a very special friend. Losing it now would be a damn shame.

He broke the surface coughing and spitting, swimming over to a shallow beach littered with wet shingle. He crunched along the edge, hoisted himself up, scanned over the carnage and found the results to his liking.

The crystal lay shattered in a million tiny pieces along with bits of tiny bone, the glow gone out of all of them. Regis breathed a sigh of relief. One prayer answered. Now for the next.

"Fenris? Are you all right?"

There was the tiniest clink of glass. The lad landed beside him from a nearby ledge. "That was, without a doubt, the dumbest thing I've ever seen someone do. Were you actually trying to get yourself killed this time?"

"Not the worst way to die, all things considered," Regis said. "At least, in my case. Did you find my hammer?"

Fenris frowned and tossed something to the ground with a heavy, metallic clank. "Stop making this a habit, old man. Next time I'm leaving you to find it."

"Sure, sure." Regis smiled in spite of the growing ache in his body. He took up the hammer and held it over one shoulder. "Now, how about we get the hells out of here?"

"Gonna be hard pressed finding a way out without a light source," Fenris murmured.

"Luckily, when you get to be my age you always come prepared. That's why I carry a spare torch with me." Regis reached into his pack, and smiled. "And would you look at that? It's still dry!."

***