It took Astrid a long time before she started speaking again, and Elba could not blame her. She'd told the poor woman everything. About Regis, about Libro, and most of all, about Brand. She deserved the truth, after all.

The good, and the bad.

"He's alive," Astrid murmured, placing her head in her hands, pale eyes glistening wet as she stared down at the floor. "After everything that's happened to him, he's still alive."

"He is," Elba said.

Astrid started to tremble, quickly losing her composure as heavy tears plopped onto the carpet. "And I abandoned him," she murmured. "I abandoned my boy. My own son." She bit down on one knuckle to keep back a choking sob, curling into herself as if a sword had been driven into her guts.

Elba wanted to feel sorry for her, wanted to reach out and tell her it would all be okay, that she had done everything a mother could to protect her child, but her stomach still felt a roiling mess after upchucking over the bannister, what with a child growing inside of her, so she wasn't quite in the mood to slip sugar in her lies today.

"You did," Elba said, heat creeping up her neck. "And I had to be there to pick up the pieces after you ran away."

Astrid gaped at her wordlessly, fueling her to keep going."

Do you know he was banished from Middengard? From his own home? The Vangen had to press into service as their own personal Magician because he had nowhere else to go. I had to break his door down once and force him into the sunlight after he locked himself in his room for six bloody months! The boy's a wreck, Astrid! Do you even understand what you did to him?"

She was shouting now, unable to keep back the coursing flood inside her. Hot, angry tears slithered down her cheeks, and she frustratingly wiped them away.

"Do you?"

Astrid had gone very quiet, head still in her hands, little muffled sniffs and sobs coming out of her every now and then. She'd stopped trembling, but was still sitting there all hunched over, a solemn stillness falling over her like the morning after a storm.

"Why, Astrid?" Elba rubbed at one temple, already feeling a headache coming on. "Why did you abandon Brand?"

"I've asked myself the same question for over a year now," Astrid said, her voice cold and calm. She sat up, eyes wet and red rimmed, and she stared at Elba with a knowing, guilty look. "I believe a part of me broke that night when you took me to my son. I remember sitting beside his comatose body, and I stroked his hair, and I told him how much I loved him, and how," she paused, swallowing past a heavy lump in her throat. "And how it was all my fault."

Sharp breath hitched in the back of her throat as she let out another shudder, trying to take back what little composure she had left. She forced up a watery smile and held a hand out to Elba.

"May I?"

Elba cocked an eyebrow up before she realized Astrid's intention and sat back with a watchful nod. The older woman placed a hand on her belly, little crow's feet dancing at the edges of her eyes as she felt the life within.

"You don't know what motherhood's like, but if the gods are good, and if your man is as ruthless as you say he is, I pray every day you get the chance to experience it. To some it can feel like a burden, or a painful responsibility, but to others it can feel like a calling, as if by the divines themselves."

Astrid wiped away a tear. "Did I ever tell you I originally wanted seven sons?"

"No," Elba said, wondering where the story was going. "I don't believe you ever did."

"It was always a dream of mine, ever since I was a girl, and when I grew up and Raylein married me off to Jonah I thought that dream would finally come true." Astrid narrowed her eyes and her smile disappeared. "But dreams like mine have no place in this reality. I found out later my body couldn't handle pregnancy, and when I miscarried, Jonah struck me and the illusion was shattered forever."

That got a twinge of regret from Elba, but it would take more than one sad story to win her any sympathy. Most people had hard lives, and that didn't make any of them special.

"Raylein nearly killed Jonah for it, but he never did it again. We tried for a second child, as I'd been instructed, but my body never recovered. I miscarried again, and again, and again." Astrid clenched the edges of her robe, knuckles bone white against the skin. "Six in total."

"I'm sorry," Elba said, not knowing what else to even say. What could she even say? "That must have been difficult for you."

Astrid snorted bitterly. "Difficult? You have no idea the pain I went through, and I hope you never do. I spent so many nights alone during that period of my life, reading through alchemical texts for clues, or praying to the Forgefather himself for guidance. And everyday it would be the same thing from those two miserable bastards. Try harder, they'd demand, as if they understood the complexities of childbirth."

Astrid visibly relaxed then, as if a weight had been dragged off her shoulders. "And then it happened. As if by random chance or divine grace, Brand was born. My little miracle." She clutched her hands to her chest. "He was so small back then, so sickly. For months Jonah said he was going to die at any moment. That I was wasting my time, but I knew better. When I stole away to his crib to be with him, he used to grab hold of me as if his very life depended on it."

She stared down at one of her fingers, curling it slightly. "Despite how weak he looked, his grip was so strong. And in the end, he survived. He grew up and I taught him how to walk, how to talk, how to sing his alphabets and use the silverware properly, as every child should."

Astrid sighed "But yet again, dreams such as mine have no place in this reality. No sooner had I finally brought a child into this world did Jonah take over, guiding him and training him to become the next House Sion. I had to watch helplessly as the little miracle I'd created was being turned into a weapon, into a tool. And every time I went to Raylein with my concerns he would simply brush them aside, telling me that everything would be all right once Brand was of age. That he'd swoop in, save the day, and everything would be all right. I believed him. I believed him for far longer than I should have. Until it was far too late, and I learned the awful truth. That Brand, and me, and everyone else Raylein had made promises too were simply tools in his master scheme, meant to be used and then discarded."

Elba winced. "I had no idea."

"Brand was... he is my entire world," Astrid said. "And when you watch your world die before you, there is no amount of courage you can possess to keep away such fear. I had already lost so much. My family, my home, my trust. When I thought Brand would never wake up, I did the only thing a scared girl does when she has nothing left."

Astrid looked at Elba, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. "I ran back home." Her mouth twisted into a sour frown. "But even that turned out to be a mistake. Home is only a distant memory now."

"How did you even end up here?" Elba asked. "I took you for ruthless after watching you stab your husband to death,"

"Former husband," Astrid corrected her.

"But even this place seems a bit much for you."

"Trust me when I say I am not here of my own accord." Astrid shook her head bitterly. "No sooner had I arrived in Danic I was captured by the monster you call the Right Hand. The only reason I'm not a part of his experiments is because he finds my Talent with runes useful. As long as I monitor the scrying wards around Kel Dracon and help him select healthy test subjects, I get his permission to stay alive."

A cold chill ran down Elba's back at the mention of test subjects, the awful sound of snapping bones creeping back into her memories. "What is that monstrosity even doing here? What does the Right Hand need these women for?"

Astrid looked away, face crushed with guilt. "I doubt you'll like the answer."

"Tell me," Elba demanded. "I'd rather know what's coming then continue to live in ignorance,"

"The Right Hand is using pregnant women to make new Chosen. He thinks he can do so by letting the child fully gestate in the mother before killing her and cutting the baby out of the womb."

She said it so clinically, like it was being recited off a report, and that was what terrified Elba the most. Not the fact her child was fated to die in the frozen wasteland as some bastard's twisted experiment, or the fact she was going to die as well in a very terrible way if nothing was done. It was the sheer disconnect of it all, the way people talked about cattle or crops.

Like striking lines off a list.

Elba had to grit her teeth to stop her jaw from trembling. "I will not allow this to happen."

"I fear we both have more urgent matters to attend to before we can focus on you and your child's untimely death," Astrid said. "Namely the girl you made me falsely vouch for. It's very clear she isn't in any way pregnant, and we've less than three months to figure out a plan before anyone else starts to notice."

"Well I certainly don't have the equipment to change that!" Elba pointed out.

"That's not what I mean!" Astrid pinched at the bridge of her nose, looking very tired and very old of a sudden, as if time had finally caught up to her. "Goddess preserve me. I don't know how much more I can take from this. First you, and now Brand, and now the girl. The Gods are surely making me pay for my past."

Elba rested her head against the headboard and stared up at the ceiling. They were in quite the conundrum, that much was true. But when was life ever going to be easy? Time had taught her quite the opposite. So long as she still drew breath, so long as she was still alive, she still had time to plan.

"Let's focus on one thing at a time," Elba said. "Can you take me to Tergrid? I need to speak with her."

"That shouldn't be a problem. She's likely in the common room with the other women," Astrid said. "They're usually stitching around this time."

Elba blinked at her. "Stitching?"

"You use needles and thread to make designs and patterns on fabric. It's quite the hobby for women here in Danic. I used to be in a stitching group myself when I was a little girl. Do you have something like that where your from?"

"I sewed a gash up once after my friend Freya cut herself on a rock. Is it like that?"

Now it was Astrid's turn to blink at her. "In a sense. Wait a moment, I'll have a guard come and take you to her."

Elba stood up quickly, and wished she hadn't as a wave of nausea crashed into her. "You're not going to be there?"

"Oh no," Astrid said with a shake of her head. "The other women here think I'm in league with the Right Hand. They'd tear me apart as soon as I walked in the room."

And with that she departed, leaving Elba alone once more.

The guard came to retrieve her a few minutes after Astrid left, guiding her down a narrow, circular hallway, taking the first door on the right. He opened it, making a little bow while doing so, and shut it neatly behind her as she walked in.

"I don't get why we have to use blunted needles for this," a woman the size of an ox said, sitting uncomfortably in a chair two sizes too small for the likes of her, jabbing uselessly at a stretched wedge of cloth in one hand, a dull sliver of metal clutched in the other. She had a scar running down her left cheek from temple to chin, and a very old one by the looks of it. "It's not like I could kill myself with it."

"Tell that to the last girl who was here," said another voice. The owner sat beside the oxen woman, long braid of brown hair running down one shoulder, swollen belly pressed tight against her robes. "She found a way, didn't she?"

"Aye, suppose you're right."

A short woman with chopped, blonde hair and wide eyes shivered beside them. "I don't want to remember that," she squeaked. "Can't we talk about something else. Something nice, maybe?"

"Well if Rook over here weren't so shy we could have an actual proper conversation for once," said one of the other women, lean as a spear and with a scrub of red hair that looks as if it hadn't been properly washed in months. She held one hand under her swollen belly, the other jabbing an accusing finger at one of the corners. "Why don't you come over here and settle down, Rook. I promise I won't bite. Not much, anyway"

"My name's not Rook, damn it!" A familiar voice roared back. "And you keep your filthy hands where I can see them!"

Didn't take much guess work to figure out who it was. Tergrid stood with her back pressed against one of the walls, chest heaving, eyes darting around for any means of escape.

"Elba," she screamed, as her eyes swiveled to a hard stop upon seeing her. "You have to help me! This bitch is crazy!"

***