Layla

Customs are cruel

Traditions are cruel

People who hold on to them like their life depends on it are cruel and if that's the case, everyone in my family is cruel.

"Layla!"

The sound of Asmie's voice makes me jolt. I watched her jump on the bed with excitement written all over her face.

"He's here Adda!" She yells. From the way she pushed her head forward, I could tell that she wanted to whisper those words to me but the excitement in her voice betrayed her. "Ya Bilal is here and Allah knows he has never looked more handsome!"

I manage to flash her a smile that didn't get to my eyes. Smiling isn't the right word for what I did. I just twitched my lips and nothing more.

"I've told you I don't like it when you jump on my bed Asmie. When will you start letting words get into your coconut head?" I scold.

The way she jumps down from the bed and drag  her feet to the door makes me feel guilty. I shouldn't have spoken to her like that. If anyone deserves my temper, then it's definitely not Asmie.

"Asmie!" I call after her.

She came to a halt but didn't bother to turn which gave me a hint that she was angry. I walk over to where stood and embraced her. "I'm sorry Asmie. I don't know what has gotten over me. I'm sorry. Please just don't be angry with me.

She turns slowly and once she was facing me, she began to wipe the tears that were streaming down my cheeks.  "I'm not angry Laila. I just don't like it when you're being hard on yourself.  Ever since you got engaged to Ya Bilal, you changed totally and you're making it very hard for me to figure you out. Let it go Laila. You honestly don't deserve the way you're treating yourself.

I buried my face in her neck and drew back the moment I caught a whiff of her fragrance. "Why did you use my body spray?" I ask narrowing my eyes.

She rolls her eyes.  "Like seriously Adda? We are talking about something important and you're here being silly."

"Asmie I have every right to question you whenever you use any of my belongings without my permission. This is trespass for crying out loud."

She quickly raise her hands in surrender. "Okay fine! I'm sorry. I just wanted to try it that's all and I promise not to do it again."

I wanted to believe her but the way she rolled her eyes after the words left her mouth was a sign that she didn't mean whatever she said.

"Laila! What  on earth do you think you're doing?" Mummy barges into the room. "Bilal has been here for over an hour...." she open her mouth in shock after registering what I had on me.

".....and you're still in your towel? Do you even..."

"Mummy Ya Bilal just arrived 7 minutes ago fa" Asmie cuts in.

I gasp the moment mummy's left hand landed on Asmie's right cheeks.

"Ouch!" She cries. "Mummy Wallahi this isn't fair. I was just correcting you."

Mummy reached for my heels on the shoe rack and I immediately ran to the toilet with Asmie right behind me.

"Lock the door." She whispers rubbing her cheek.

I realized the consequences of what we did right after locking the door. Trouble is what we have landed ourselves into.

"The both of you should come out right  now before I take this door down." Mummy said as she banged the door.

"Wow! Look who has got some super powers." Asmie whispers between giggles.

"Shhh!" I place a finger on my lips. " lower your voice Asmie. She could hear us and I'm sure you don't want more trouble." I said in a whisper.

Mummy gave up and once she was out of the room, Asmie and I sneak out of the bathroom like daytime thieves. "Get dressed quickly Laila while I go feed your fiancé" she winked at me before exiting the room.

Asmie is gone and now, I'm back to the dungeon in my head. Walking slowly to my closet, I stop halfway and stare at the cloth my mother got specially made for this occasion. It's a brown super wax with white, pink and grey prints. "Wear it" she said to me two days ago. "It will match your light skin and eyes Layla"

I don't know how to walk up to my typical African mother and tell her that Ya Bilal's presence doesn't deserve all she's doing and making others do from the catering services to the red henna she got drawn on my hands and legs and the outfit she chose for me. He doesn't even deserve to see me. If there's anything he deserves, then it's the price for what he did and I'm afraid that will be the end of him. Helpless, I walked over to my bed and picked the cloth that had been crying for attention.

Two minutes later, I stare back at my reflection in the mirror and Subhana Allah! I've never looked more beautiful!

"Just look at you!" Asmie cried as she walked over to where I was standing.  I was so engrossed in what I was doing that I didn't notice when she walked in. "You look like a bride Laila. Phewww! Kina wuta yarinya!"

I managed to flash her a smile after secretly wiping the tears from my eyes.

"I can't wear this Asmie." I whine.

"Don't kid me Layla. Atamfa has never looked this good. Just look at you and damn! These curves. If I was the one with your body, then mahn! I would have made it to vogue."

Ignoring her, I walk over to my closet and scanned through the row of abayas. The moment my eyes landed on a plain black one, I knew it was the best thing to wear today. Black is the color  that best describes my mood.

I block Asmie's complaints as I change into my black abaya and once I've got the veil secured around my head, I rub my hands together nervously before turning to face her.

"We should get going before your mother comes and then we are dead." I say trying to hide the fact that I'm about to break down.

" Are you done ignoring me?" She asked

I walked closer to her and once I had my arms wrapped around her, the tears I've been fighting back broke free. "I don't know how to explain myself Asmie but just know that your support is all I need right now. Mummy is going to get mad at me for changing my cloth so why don't you save it all for her?"

"Fine. You look beautiful in whatever you wear baby girl. We have things to talk about but now, I want you to go kill that nigger in the living room. Make sure you leave him breathless."

I smiled. " I wish I could" I said under my breath.

"Of course you can darling! Go for it?"

I smiled at my sister's naivety. I meant it when I said I wish I could leave Ya Bilal breathless but obviously in a negative way and I'm sure my tone did justice to that.

I run to the living room downstairs in order to avoid my mother and once I am right in front of the door, reality hits me hard. The man I've been avoiding for 8 years is just few feet away from me and all the emotions I've buried for long  begin to come back to life in waves.

"We'll go through them on Monday don't worry. Just don't forget to send the documents to me." The sound of his voice glued my feet to the cold tiles and for a moment, my vision was blurred.

Shh!

Don't cry Laila

Yes baby

It's a secret okay? Let it be between just you and I.

Suddenly, his voice seemed to have found home in my head because that's all I could hear till everything became black and blank.

   *.            *.               *.

I open my eyes slowly and it takes me few seconds to register where I am. This definitely isn't my bedroom or some other room in our house. The smell of antiseptic and the blue sheets confirmed my suspicion.

I am in a hospital.

I shut my eyes in an attempt to remember how and why I got here but I failed. I can remember disobeying my mother by wearing a black abaya instead of the cloth she picked for me. I can remember running downstairs and standing by the door of the living room. I can remember hearing the voice that I will recognize anywhere and time but I can't seem to remember what happened after that.

Could it be that I've lost my memory or nothing ever happened?

"O my God Laila! You are awake." Asmie cried  as she wrapped her hands around me. " I'm angry with you right now for not telling me that you weren't feeling well but at the same time, I'm sorry. I should've seen it in your eyes right? ..... I'm sorry for not being a good sister and for letting you go through all this. Forgive me!"

"Asmau stop this your drama now!" The sound of my mother's stern voice fixed the puzzle in my head. I remember hearing his voice but I don't remember anything after that. He must be here!

I shove Asmie and quickly sat up at the thought of his presence. " I want to go home mummy!"

My head was hurting really bad and from the look of things, I can pass out at any moment and that, I'm not ready to entertain.

"Now what's wrong with you Laila? The doctor will decide when you should leave and not you okay! Just lay down and be calm."

Arguing with my mother is something I've learnt not to do on a normal day unless if I'm ready to be smacked. We are in a hospital and I know she wouldn't do anything to hurt me at this moment but I still chose not to argue so I did as I was told.

"Where is he?" I whispered to my sister who was laying right next to me.

"You passed out on your way to meet him so he brought you here. He should be with the doctor I guess."

I gasped. "Why did you let him bring me here?"

"First of all, he's your fiancé. And secondly, you've added weight in the last few months which obviously isn't my fault so there's no way any of us could carry you."

"He carried me?" I ask not because I wanted an answer I already have. I just wanted to hear something different. I wanted to be proved wrong. The thought of his hands on me makes me want to peel off my skin and then burn them but since it's impossible, I made a mental note to spend the rest of my day in shower once I get home.

"He obviously did and Allah knows I've never seen a sight more beautiful. You looked so comfortable in is arms that at that moment, I concluded that you were made for each other."

As if on clue, he barged into the room with the doctor right behind. I suddenly felt naked and it was as if my Abaya couldn't just cover me up. I ball my fists and shut my eyes just so I wouldn't have to look at him. I don't want to be reminded of how he looks or rather, how he looked 8 years ago. The picture of him in my head is that of a monster and I'm satisfied with that. I honestly don't want to have a reason to believe that there are good looking monsters.

"How is she?" A strange voice asked. It should be that of the doctor since he's the only male in the room whose voice I can't recognize.

"She woke up few minutes ago but she didn't make any complaints." My mother answered.

"No! She mentioned wanting to go home." Asmie chipped in. I can imagine the look on my mother's face at that moment. I wish my sister could learn how to think before she speaks especially when she's together with mother but it seems impossible. Asmie has a way of saying whatever she's thinking which usually lands her in trouble.

"But it looks like she's asleep." The doctor said after placing his hand on my forehead to check my temperature.

"She's not asleep doctor. We were talking right before you came in. Laila I know you can here me so you better stop pretending." Before I knew it, Asmie's hands were already by my side and from the looks of things, I was about to have the worst tickle of my life.

"Leave her Asmie. It's possible she went back to sleep." I didn't have to open my eyes and look before knowing who spoke. I will always recognize his voice even if it's in a room filled with thousand men. There's no way I can forget the voice that has made it to my nightmares.

For a moment, I decided on opening my eyes in order to prove him wrong but that will do me no good will it? I will just end up looking at him since there's no way I can avoid eye contacts in this closed space. Letting out a silent groan, I swallow the disappointment that formed a lump in my throat. It hurts that he's in all decisions I have to make today.

"You've been discharged but let her rest for a while so when she's awake, you can go home."

I almost smile at the doctor's words. Home is where I want to be right now so I'll just wait for the right time to open my eyes.

"Thank you doctor. Is there anything we should get?"

Hearing his voice again makes me realize that the longer I stay in a room with him, the more my chances of falling apart. Why does he have to be family. Why does he even have to exist.

"I've prescribed some drugs for her and I'll advice she's watched closely. Come with me."

I wait for a minute after the door is closed to open my eyes. " Let's go home mummy. I can't survive here."

"I knew you weren't asleep Laila. Why were you pretending?"

Ignoring Asmie is something I've learnt how to do quite well so I pretend she's absent.

"Bilal went to fetch your drugs. We'll go once he's back."

If words were bullets, I would've been dead. Now that all my efforts to avoid him have been rendered useless, I sit back on the hospital bed soaked in my sweat as i join the others in waiting for him. Looks like it's going to be an adventurous day after all.

First chapter down already 😘❤️

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