CW: Sexual harassment

"So to end our meeting today, does our vice president have a motivational quote?" Juliet asked, eyes still firmly ahead at her audience of thirty, who filled Mr. T's desks and lined the side walls.

"A motivational quote, you say... 'Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth,'" Frank said with as much solemnity as he could muster.

"That is an excellent quote. Now, let us recite our motto again, and this meeting shall be adjourned."

"Strength through discipline! Strength through community! Strength through action!" the crowd shouted in unison, and they dispersed quickly, only having a minute before the end-of-lunch bell rang. Juliet turned to Frank:

"Where's that quote from? I feel like I've heard it before."

"Madame President, it is from the Bible. Matthew 5:5," Frank barked back, adding a stiff nod for emphasis.

"There's no need to call me by my title after the meeting, Frank, don't be such a tease," Juliet laughed, putting her hand on Frank's shoulder. "But why that quote in particular? We aren't meek at all."

"It struck me for some reason. And, well, you put me on the spot—what am I supposed to do?"

"You came up with this entire good person thing freshman year, this is supposed to come naturally to you. I made you vice president for a reason: your entire brand is philosophy and self-improvement, and if you can't do that, then what can you do?"

The bell rang and Frank saw an easy out, and left before his position could be compromised further. It was junior year, and he thought it was a miracle that Juliet hadn't booted him out of his position for dereliction of duty or otherwise being a senator. They could be all fun and games fifth period, and as soon as lunch began all gloves were off. It had been her idea to make a club based around his manifesto when he had first shown it to her, and since making a club and taking responsibility for consequences sounded like a terrible amount of work, he had given her his blessing. Frank wasn't sure what he would have done with his own good person club—less bubble tea, for sure, and definitely less weekend volunteering—but his current position was a good one: Juliet flirted with him occasionally, he got something to put on his college apps, all for the price of a few motivational quotes. They wouldn't fact-check it if he listed himself as president, right?

"He totally likes you, Juliet, come on. Why else would he be such a dedicated vice president?" Beth asked as they walked to cheer practice.

"He's not a dedicated vice president at all: if he liked me, he'd not do everything at the last minute."

"Of course he's dedicated: he calls you 'Madame President' during meetings and always stands rapt at attention."

"That glassy-eyed stare isn't attention, it's daydreaming, and I tell him to call me 'Madame President,' so that doesn't count."

"But do you like him?" Beth asked, nothing amusing her more than affairs of the heart.

"Of course I do—he's the one guy in this place I have an emotional connection with, and I don't know, I think he's cute. But imagine the harm it would do to my image: prim and proper Juliet, suddenly dating her vice president? Regina would mock me relentlessly. Why else would I constantly be so nice to him even if he's a terrible vice president?"

"Just because Regina's popular doesn't mean her opinion matters. It's high school: drama like this comes and goes, but it should break like waves on a rocky seashore."

"Well, I care, and that's enough for me," Juliet declared, and she motioned for them to return to the crowd.

John thought that Frank and Juliet were sell-outs, compromising the integrity of the original good person philosophy and its intent of pointing out the school's flaws. John was a person who believed everyone had flaws, which made this philosophy a natural fit: when talking with Frank and Juliet, he'd occasionally quote maxims like "paranoia is a sign of intelligence," to which they would laugh and pretend the phrases had no meaning. Of course they had meaning: it meant that John's paranoia about everyone else around him being intent on stealing his greatness was entirely justified. This lingering fear did not prevent him from maintaining a healthy friendship with Frank, whom he believed to be the closest thing to a voice of reason the school had—besides him, of course.

"'Blessed are the meek'? What sort of quote was that?" John asked Frank before school the following Monday, not seeming to notice or care that Frank was busy carrying what appeared to be quite heavy copy paper boxes.

"Take one of these from me and I'll tell you." John did what he was told. "Look, I don't know why everyone's been on my case about that quote. Juliet asked me about it too."

"It's plainly subversive, that's what it is, especially when your club's motto is literally a pseudo-fascist motto about strength. You can't keep doing this, being a smart aleck. She's going to catch on someday."

"And what's she going to do, give me a stern talking-to? Stop testing my boundaries of personal space? Kick me out of a club named after something I invented? I hold all the cards here—she wouldn't dare to do anything that would create drama," Frank said sternly.

"You like her, don't you? That's why you tease her the only way you know how, being cheeky and disobedient. That's low behavior, Frank, I wouldn't have expected it from you. You're supposed to be above all that."

"How did Darcy put it again, handsome but not so tolerable to tempt me? Something along those lines? I like how she constantly dotes on me like she thinks it's the only way to keep me in line. I bet if I showed her Carmen she'd think if she gave me a rose, I'd be magically compelled to never leave her side."

"So you're saying you're touch-starved, that's it?"

"When you put it that way, yeah. I don't like how seriously she takes How To Be A Good Person, something no sane person would have turned into a club, much less one she maintains with such a fanatical zeal. I don't like how she's always had a chip on her shoulder about Regina thinking she's too much of a girlboss—and how she can't see Regina's just jealous. There are a lot of things I don't like about her, but that's not going to stop me from suddenly switching to a 'yes, Madame President'-spewing sycophant with salutes sharper than a butcher's knife in her presence."

"A touch-starved sell-out, then. Is that it?"

"That's exactly what I am. I'd rather be myself. Myself and nasty. Not somebody else, however jolly. And if that makes me a bad person, so be it," Frank declared, and he walked off, leaving John with the box. John put the box down on the ground and peered inside. The box was filled with polished stones, all inscribed with motivational quotes: "be your own sunshine," "the future is only what we make today," and so on. What was he supposed to do with these? Cursing Frank's laziness under his breath, John carried the box to Mr. T's room and left it inside, but not before taking a "the future is only what we make today" rock for himself. It was one of the smartest things Frank had ever said.

"So where's the rock from? Juliet's club?" Regina asked with a roll of her eyes during calculus class. "What's next, a button with a smiley face on it?"

"No, Frank had a box of these and I stole one. It's nice. I'll put it on my desk at home. Maybe when I'm working on a tough homework assignment I can hit myself on the head with it, knock myself out, and wake up with an epiphany."

"I'm just teasing, John. But seriously, motivational rocks? Those sound like something my dad would get at his company."

"Look, I can't claim to understand what elaborate mental jujutsu Frank and Juliet think they're doing. They're going to hand out these rocks and most of their members are going to leave them outside somewhere."

"No, I wouldn't put it past them to build little shrines for their rocks and pray to them daily. They're such suck-ups," Regina laughed. "If someone gave me one, I'd chuck it through Juliet's window."

"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone," John muttered.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that."

"It's a quote from the Bible. Paraphrased. I'm just being sarcastic, there's nothing to it. But anyway, I've never understood why you're so against Juliet. You're the most popular girl on campus. If you were to break up with Tom there'd be a line of people willing to date you. You can get into any party you want—heck, you are the party! You can't tell me that just because she refuses to let you into her club meetings that you hold a grudge."

"That's exactly what it is!" Regina exclaimed.

"I had this talk with Frank earlier too. You have it made: successful family, however many bajillion followers on TikTok, a good reputation. How can you not see that most of us would kill for any part of that? Just remember, not all the people in the world have had the advantages you've had."

"Do you know why I like you, John? You're above petty things like that. I don't feel like you're ever out to ride on my coattails, or that if we get lunch downtown, you're going to then ask me if my dad can get you an internship at Google."

"That's why I say 'most of us.'"

"Excellent answer, John," Regina said brightly.

Tom saw Frank after school carrying more boxes of motivational rocks (he had ordered four hundred rocks instead of forty to irritate Juliet, without quite processing how it would be his responsibility to store them afterward). Frank, upon seeing him, offered him a box.

"What's inside?" Tom asked.

"Motivational rocks. They're all the rage. Give them to your friends."

"What would I do with a box of them?"

"You're smart, you'll figure it out. Take a box. I insist. Before my arms give out." Tom took a box. "So how are you doing on this fine day, Tom?"

"Hanging in there, hanging in there. There's this big party tonight Regina wants me to go to—I'd invite you, but she'd be there, so you aren't invited."

"Charming. I appreciate the offer. Is Beth going?"

"Nah, she said she wanted to finish this painting she's been working on. She's planning on exhibiting it at the county fair, but if you ask me, all those still-lifes look the same—it's only because Regina bought one from her that she's been on her high horse about it, but I think Regina just did that to be nice. How's Juliet?" Tom asked, all seemingly in the same breath.

"Madame President, actually," Frank said, stiffening up.

"You have to call her that all the time?"

"No, I'm just messing with you. She's fine. These motivational rocks were her idea."

"Regina told me about those. What a stupid idea. Sorry, if it was yours, but it's a stupid idea."

"I sadly can take no credit for this excellent idea. It's all Madame President," Frank said with enough sarcasm that Tom finally picked up on Frank's intent. "Rocks have great philosophical import, actually. Sisyphus had to roll a giant one up and up a hill endlessly."

"Is that where we get the term 'sissy'?"

"Sure."

Tom silently took his box of rocks back to his car as Frank continued home, but Frank couldn't shake the feeling that Tom had wanted to say something else. About Juliet. Tom, like many others at Heller, was under the mistaken impression that Frank was some wise sage willing to be consulted like the oracle of Delphi whenever anyone had a problem. It had started with his manifesto freshman year: people wanted to know what to read, if they were good people even though they wore shorts, or if it was a good idea to join Juliet's fan club. The answers were "anything in the adult section of the library," "Frank forgives all," and "of course, nothing could possibly go wrong with this idea." And even when it became increasingly clear that Juliet was taking the reins and kept him around mainly because there could be no good person club without him, Frank kept up this persona, and to this conception he was faithful until the end.

In this process he had learned at the beginning of sophomore year that Tom had a crush on Juliet, and that he would have broken up with Regina and immediately began pursuing her if not for Frank's timely advice that superficial attraction could only lead to disaster: love looked not with the eyes, but with the mind. Tom had come back the next day agreeing with him, swearing to never think about Juliet in that way again. Frank knew that Tom's word meant little, and even in the present, he knew that Tom would eventually make a move—or otherwise be his current meek self forever, handcuffed to Regina, knowing the only reason why she kept him around was because he was buff eye candy and had a driver's license. Frank had never been part of a lovers' quarrel before, and while the idea intrigued him, it was perhaps best viewed as a spectator sport. Since if Tom said that he liked Juliet then Juliet would probably double down and say she liked him, and what was he to do, go after Regina? There wasn't a snowball's chance in hell.

Everyone at Heller had their problems, some confessed under the pretense of confidentiality and some ones Frank had observed himself from the shadows: Beth was too concerned with her art and music to maintain any meaningful relationships; Juliet disguised her anxiety over her self-worth under a peppy facade of canned food drives, cheerleading, and chasing him about; John spent so much time exulting in his enlightenment that he had never done anything meaningful but point out the flaws in others; Regina worried that without her status she was nothing, and the sad thing was that this was true. It was far easier to point out the flaws in others, distilling them to aphorisms, than to look inward. Then what was he? John was right: he was a sell-out who had given up any true charitable intent he had in exchange for hugs and way too many boxes of motivational rocks. It wasn't enough that the club was indeed charitable, and that Juliet had once received recognition from the mayor for being the president of such a delightful club—it even wasn't enough that as founder, he had received equal credit. At the end of it all, Frank wasn't a good person, and that's what mattered more than any physical deed.

Discussion Questions:

Here Juliet got her wish and became president of the club. Does this seem like a happier timeline?

Careful eyes may notice a lot of callbacks, reused quotes from You Must Remember This and elsewhere (for instance, the Bible quote was just used as a chapter title). What narrative purpose might these connections serve?

How does the Frank we meet here differ from the Frank we know and love/hate?