Chapter Five
Bucky

My entire body feels heavy when I wake up, like every muscle and bone in my body has been imbued with metal. It takes effort to even lift my head, but I force myself to despite the pain. I have to find Lena, I have to see if she's alright. My search for her takes only a moment. She's a couple feet from me, chained to a rock wall...a mountain? I look around us and find that we are indeed at the bottom of a mountain, bound by chains made for cranes and other construction machines.

Lena is starting to wake up, and after taking in our surroundings as well, she croaks out: "What happened? Where are we?"

"Roan Mountain, about two hours from your cute little cabin." A deep voice answers. Lena and I look to our left to find a person dressed in a camo suit, leaning up against a tree. There's something familiar about this person, but I don't know what.

Lena seems to be thinking the same thing. "Do we know you?"

"I'm Noah Maddox, I work for Secretary Ross as apart of his personal protection detail."

I don't hold back my groan of annoyance, and exhaustion. "Did Ross put you up to this?"

"As much as I'm sure he would love to be responsible for your demise, no. I'm here to ensure HYDRA survives long enough to reform."

Goddammit, not another one. "You're apart of HYDRA?"

"No, not officially anyways. There are many out there like me who agree with the philosophy of HYDRA and want to protect what little of it still exists. You both have been assigned to hunt down the remaining HYDRA agents and scientists when you return from your honeymoon, and if you're out of the picture, those people will be safe."

"How? Ross will just assign others to hunt them down."

"Yes, but those people won't be successful. Whatever lackies Ross will send won't have the knowledge and efficiency to hunt down what's left of HYDRA. But you do. It's quite genius of Ross to send you actually, for who could complete the task better than former HYDRA agents? Of course he still thinks you both are secretly in league with them, so I don't think he would share my opinion. He's told me himself he thinks he's making a mistake sending you."

"Maybe Ross should spend less time pointing fingers at us and instead pay better attention to his staff." Lena says through gritted teeth, her face contorted in concentration. I know that look, she's trying to shift, but whatever was in those darts is preventing her from doing so.

"What the hell did you shoot us with?" She inquires, confirming my earlier thoughts.

"Tranquilizer darts. But the dosage is enough to knock out five grizzly bears. So there's no hope of you two escaping."

"Why didn't you take us yesterday? You shot once and left."

"My gun jammed and I'm not stupid enough to deal with a shapeshifter in wolf form without some drugs in her system."

"Why not just kill us? Why drug us and capture us?" Lena inquires.

"Because Ross is an idiot thinking you two are still in league with HYDRA. You're traitors, you believe in everything HYDRA stood against, and for that, I want to make you both suffer."

Maddox begins walking towards us, his hand reaching into the pocket of his camo suit to bring out a long, sharpened knife. I pull against the restraints I'm bound by, but the drugs in those darts have made me fatigued and exhausted. I can barely keep my head up let alone break free of thick metal chains. I turn to Lena and find her still trying to shift, but it isn't working, and that knife is getting closer and closer to us.

"I think I'll deal with you first, Ms. Roberts." Maddox says, fury blazing in his eyes.

I pull harder against the chains, but they won't budge. I'm left helpless to watch this HYDRA follower torture and kill my wife. It's my worst nightmare come to fruition. I feel tears spring into my eyes and shouts slip through my gritted teeth, waiting with dread for that knife to touch her skin. When it does, I scream, but Lena doesn't, though I can tell she wants to. Maddox has just dug the knife into her shoulder, and she's keeping herself still. No screams, no struggle, only her jagged breathing and her shut eyelids. Maddox must think she's resigning herself to her fate, but I know her, and she would never give up.

As I watch her stiff expression I realize what she's doing. When she was held captive by Analiese Remington she was drugged just like she is now, unable to shift and escape her bonds. But when Remington left the old cabin she kept her in, Lena drudged up all her pent up anger and pain, primal emotions, and forced her animal side to reawaken. That must be what she's doing, using the pain Maddox is causing her to fuel her anger.

Maddox carves the knife down her bicep, and it's this move that sets her off. With a snarl, Lena is able to shift into a wolf, releasing her of her chains. Before Maddox can even react, Lena pounces onto him, tackling him to the ground. There's a little bit of struggle on his end, but not much, because what is there for him to do? He is no match to her. Despite the pure primal rage fueling her, Lena makes his death quick; clamping her mouth onto his neck and biting down hard, then twisting for good measure.

When she's sure he's dead, she shifts back into her human form and searches Maddox's pockets, finding the key for the lock on my chains in their right pocket. As she approaches me with the key, she wipes her mouth free of his blood, looking sick to her stomach. I know she hates killing people, even cruel ones like Maddox. But sometimes it's necessary, and I know that's what's she's telling herself as she unlocks my chains.

As soon as I'm free, I collect her into my arms, my tears finally falling as I bury my face into the crook of her neck. I feel her own tears fall onto my bare chest, and for a long while we just stand like that, holding onto each other, trying to block out the world that continues to torment us.

-

Soroya

It takes us a couple hours to get back to the cabin, and as soon as we do, Bucky tends to my wound and bandages it. Then when that's taken care of we both collapse into bed and fall asleep. We sleep for the rest of the day and night, our bodies working to be rid of the drugs forced into our systems.

When we wake up the next morning, we feel better, our bodies less heavy and our minds far more clear. Despite this though, neither of us make a move to get out of bed. We just lie there, our gazes stuck on the ceiling of the bedroom, our minds hard at work digesting the events of the last twenty four hours.

"I've had dreams about being chained while I watch you be tortured." Bucky whispers after a couple minutes have passed.

I turn my head to the right to look at him and find his eyes still on the ceiling. He swallows hard and takes in a deep, shaking breath. "I thought I was going to watch you die."

I feel my chest ache as I watch him. "You didn't. I survived, you survived. We're okay."

"I almost lost you, a-and there was nothing I could do about it." He shudders as a tear slips down his cheek, his eyes finally meeting mine.

I close the distance between us and curl up against his chest, holding him as he cries into my hair, and then my own tears begin to fall. I hate that he was put in that position. I hate that he was left feeling helpless in the face of losing me, that he was rendered unable to help me. I know how that feels. I have the same nightmares he does, even worse I've lived them. I was helpless in the face of his death by Thanos, rendered unable to do anything to stop it. I felt the same way when Zemo had him captured, and I'm sure he felt that way too when Analiese had me captive.

We are in a constant state of almost losing each other and that knowledge is too much to bare. I want to assure him there won't be a next time, that we won't be put in these situations of helplessness again, but I can't, so I don't. Instead I say:

"No matter who tries to take me away from you, I will always fight my way back to you. That I can promise you. My love for you is stronger than anyone's hatred, and it's because of that that you will never truly lose me."

Bucky pulls back from me, wiping his eyes on the bed sheet, then he places a tender kiss on my lips, his hands cradling my body like I'm a fragile piece of china that may break. "I will always fight my way back to you as well, no matter how long it takes. I will always fight for us and for our future."

I cup his face in my hands and bring his lips back to mine, kissing him with greater intensity than he did before. To my delight, he shares in my ferocity, no longer holding me like I'm a breakable, but clutching onto me like he's a drowning man and I'm his only source of air.

Without breaking our kiss, he hauls me on top of him and then sits up, making me straddle his hips. My hands rub over his shoulders and biceps, and its now I realize he's still not wearing a shirt from our impromptu make out session in the woods yesterday, before Noah Maddox showed up...

The reminder of what happened, what could have happened...it makes me cling to him tighter, it makes me kiss him like my very life depends on it.

Bucky tugs on the bottom of my tank top and I lift my arms enough to let him take it off, then he does the same for my bra, leaving he and I both half bare. I expect him to begin exploring my bare skin just as I have been exploring his, but he halts all movement and breaks our kiss, pulling back to look at me.

"Do you want to go further? Because you've been through a lot and your arm is still healing—"

"I want this," I reply breathlessly. "I need this. I need you."

That's all he needed to hear. With a large grin, he pulls me off of him, setting me onto the floor, giving us both a second to rid ourselves of the remainder of our clothing. Once we are completely bare, my husband sits down on the edge of the bed, watching me as I stalk towards him, like I'm a predator and he's my prey. It's how it feels. After what we left unfinished in the woods and after almost losing each other again, my animal side is right front and center in my mind, wanting to claim him, to poses him in this feral, primal way. It scares me, the urges my animal side has in regard to him, but Bucky isn't scared. He looks into my eyes, sees both the human and the animal, and smiles, nothing but love in his expression or gaze.

When I reach him, my legs gently knocking against his bent knees, he grabs onto both my hands and kisses my palms several times, saying in between each kiss:

"I want all of you. I want you unbound."

I feel a snarl curl up in the back of my throat, and it makes my voice sound guttural. "If it's too much—"

"Then I'll let you know." He vows.

Suddenly, my mind no longer feels in control of my body. My hands slip from his grip and press on his chest, a little harder than I would have liked, but he doesn't seem to mind. In fact, he smiles wider as he lets me push him backwards. With him now flat on his back, I crawl on top of him and sit myself on his lap, my knees on either side of his hips, his stiff member beneath me. I lean forward and kiss a line down his chest, rocking my hips against his member, eliciting a groan from his parted lips.

The sound makes me grin, and I continue to do so as I lift myself up and adjust his member with my hand, then I seat myself back down, our moans joining together as he slips inside of me. I place my hands on his chest and begin rocking back and forth, not bothering to go slow, and not bothering to hold back the noises erupting from my mouth. My moans have become purely growls, and normally I would feel embarrassed about making such noises, but I can't bring myself to. Not now. Now all my mind can think of is the pleasure I feel, the feel of my husband beneath me, inside of me, and how utterly freeing it feels to let go of the tether I've been holding on myself, on my powers.

I worried that if I let my guard down and didn't focus on keeping my animal side at bay, that I would shift or hurt Bucky. But letting my powers come out to play has caused me to feel less restless, less like the animal is physically trying to crawl out of my skin and spring out. I feel oddly more in control than I did before, more natural as well, because this is the nature of who I am. I'm not fully human, my natural instincts and urges are different. I would never deny those instincts while hunting or fighting, so why should I for sex? I felt so out of control of my powers because I was secretly denying my natural instincts. I should have trusted myself more, trusted my training and my self control.

But most of all, I worried I would blur the line between human and animal too much and be rejected because of it. I feared embarrassment and ridicule, just like I faced in HYDRA when I wasn't perfect, when I wasn't exactly what they wanted me to be. But I should have known better. Bucky loves me. All of me. Unconditionally. Just as I love him. I will never try to be anything but my most authentic self with him, and that includes my inner animal.

As if hearing my thoughts, Bucky pants as he clenches the blankets in his fists: "I love you, more than anyone or anything else in this world. Or any other."

Hs words cause my movements to become more erratic, a snarl escaping my lips as my hands leave his chest, instead wrapping around his wrists and pinning his arms to the mattress. I can feel my nails digging into his skin as I get closer and closer to my release, and beneath me I hear him hiss, but I don't know if it's from pain or pleasure. Perhaps both.

Bucky grows rigid under me, then he lets out a succession of panted breaths as his release barrels through him, and feeling him spill himself inside of me sends me into my own, my hips grinding into his in a brutal pace, one that proves too much for the legs of the bed frame, which give out beneath us with a crack and a thud.

Once I've ridden out my high, my inner animal relaxes, satisfied, and lets me regain full control over my mind and body. I now try to assess the damage I just caused, which is greater than I had thought.

There are bleeding scratch marks on Bucky's chest and abdomen, bleeding nail marks on both his wrists, and on his shoulder and neck there looks to be...bite marks? I don't remember biting him. As far as the bed goes, the legs of the bed are completely broken and pieces of wood are scattered across the bedroom floor because of it.

Despite my earlier thoughts, I can't help the unease and worry that overcomes me, and I quickly scramble off of Bucky, already apologizing. "Liebchen I am so sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"Lena, it's okay," He sits up and smiles at me, looking blissful and a little dazed. Knowing I caused him to look that way make me blush. "It was...more than okay."

Despite his euphoric daze, I'm not convinced. "Really?"

"You want me to be honest?"

"Of course."

He leans forward and kisses me gently, then tells me: "That was the best sex I've ever had."

I feel myself blush harder. "It was?"

He nods firmly, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "Every time with you is perfect, but knowing you were giving me all of you, knowing you trusted me to do that, it meant more to me than you'll ever know. And watching you take control like that...it was sexy."

I giggle at his use of such a modern term, but the fact that he did use it tells me he really meant it. "So the marks don't bother you?"

"Not at all."

"What if they scar?"

"Of all the scars I wear on my body, they'll be the scars I treasure."

I move back over towards him, pressing a kiss to the bite mark on his neck, then the one on his shoulder, then I continue to trail kisses all over the scratch marks on his chest and stomach. As I do, Bucky's hands tangle in my hair, sighs of pleasure and contempt escaping his lips.

"You are the love of my life, James Buchanan Barnes," I whisper against his skin. "My soulmate. My heart. I promise to spend my entire life trying to make you feel as loved as you make me feel."

Bucky grips onto my chin with his metal fingers and forces my gaze to meet his, and he looks on the verge of tears as he tells me in a soft murmur: "I endured almost a century of pain and loneliness, and I thought I would remain in that state forever, but then I found you. You make me feel happier, and more loved, than I could have ever dared to wish for. I am honored that I get to be your husband, and I am grateful beyond words that you get to be my wife."

He pulls my mouth to his and I melt into him, clutching onto him as fiercely as he does me. Then when our kisses grow more heated, I pull his body down on top of mine, and we join together once again.

For hours and hours we stay in bed; kissing, holding each other, making love, leaving our sorrows and worries from yesterday behind us, and instead, celebrating our future and all the happiness it will bring.