Chapter Eight.

I had half expected them both to turn around and say no, so I hadn't really thought of a set number of questions. I had so many and I didn't want to ask the most important ones straight away as I wanted to get them both used to answering my questions before I asked the more difficult ones.

I looked between the two of them as I brought the pen to my lips and thought of a simple question. I could ask so many. Although I had questions I briefly wondered if I was ready to know the answers as I was sure that I wasn't going to like some of the information that I was about to find out, but it had to be done. I needed answers and now was the perfect opportunity to get them.

'Are you really werewolves?' I wrote on the page as I showed it to Logan more than my mum.

"Yes," he chuckled, the sound so deep and masculine that I found myself trying to suppress a shiver, "we shift when we want to or when we feel a really strong emotion such as anger. We don't turn into out of control animals when the full moon is out and we are generally peaceful animals unless we feel threatened or angered."

It was as if he knew exactly what I was going to ask. It was weird and I was a little scared. I was surprised to hear that they didn't turn into out of control animals on the night of a full moon as I had expected. I didn't believe that they were peaceful animals as I had yet to see any evidence that they were. Logan had shifted twice, in the short time that I had been in his presence, from anger and he had seemed unstable.

'How?' I wrote with a small frown.

"I'm not sure myself," Logan began with a thoughtful expression on his face, "I guess no one is really sure how it happened, I was born with the werewolf gene like a lot of other people within packs. I know that some people say that the moon goddess a thousand years ago granted a small village with the ability to shift so that they could protect themselves and everyone else and others say that it was a scientific experiment gone wrong. No one really knows and no one has had the knowledge or resources to find out. It's the only way of living my pack has ever known."

'What's a Luna?' I wrote down on a clean piece of paper before showing it to both my mum and Logan.

It was the first question that seemed reasonable and the answer to the question didn't seem like it was bad as Alpha Paul had called Gemma his 'Luna' and the love and affection between the two made it seems impossible that a 'Luna' was something negative. I hoped that I was right as I had been called 'Luna' by Doctor Luke a few moments ago.

"I think you should answer this one." My mum said as she looked towards Logan who was looking thoughtful for a few moments.

"Luna means moon goddess. A Luna is the mate of an Alpha; my parents are mates and so when they mated they became the Alpha and Luna of the pack. A Luna is basically another word for Alpha Female, she helps look after the pack, she takes care of its members and she takes care of the Alpha by sharing his problems and the weight of looking after a pack. A Luna is very important to the survival of a pack as without one the pack will fall." Logan told me as his eyes locked with my own.

A 'Luna' sounded like someone important; the packs survival depended on this one person. I doubted that I was a 'Luna' and Doctor Luke had made a mistake. I hadn't missed how Logan had mentioned that his parents were 'mates' and I had yet to know what that meant. I had concluded that the word 'mate' didn't mean that his parents were friends as they has completed something called a 'mating process'. It was as if with each question a number of other ones seemed to appear.

I nodded my head a little before flipping the page over and writing my next question, 'What's a rogue?'

"A rogue," my mum began as I looked away from Logan and towards my mum, "is a werewolf that doesn't belong in a pack. Rogues are normally humans trapped within the body of their wolf, they give into the desires of their wolf. Rogues are normally violent and out of control but there are few rogues who are not which is most likely because they are searching for their mate or because they are strong enough to resist the urges of their wolf."

A 'rogue' didn't sound like a nice werewolf, if it was possible for a werewolf to be nice. I didn't know if that meant that Logan was a nice werewolf because he belonged to a pack. A 'mate' was mentioned once again and I knew that I had to know what a 'mate' was before I could understand anything else. I knew that from what little I had been told that a 'mate' was someone important to each and every werewolf. It was obvious in the way that Logan had said 'mate' longingly whenever he spoke about it that Logan did have a mate.

I felt myself frown as I realised that either my mum or I had been called a 'rogue' by Alpha Paul when he had come storming into the kitchen. I knew that I wasn't a werewolf and I was sure that my mum wasn't one either.

'Why did your dad call one of us a rogue?' I scribbled down in a rush, the end of my sentence trailing off down the page.

"We will explain that later," my mum said quickly as Logan frowned, watching as my mother spoke. I could tell that he wanted to tell me, that he was about to, but one glare from my mum had him closing his mouth.

I decided that there wasn't much point arguing with her as I wrote down my next question on a new piece of paper, 'What's a mate?'

"A mate is a shortened version of the term soul-mate. A soul-mate in the werewolf world is someone that is destined to be with a werewolf. Every werewolf somewhere in the world has a mate that is made for them, from birth the mate is destined for that werewolf whether they know it or not. A werewolf will always meet their other half no matter what; their destinies are intertwined with one another. The moon goddess herself chose each pair of mate's specifically for each other. The mates will bring out the best in one another, though sometimes they can also bring out the worst. They will love and care for each other, they will keep one another safe and do whatever it takes to protect them from any sort of harm. They belong with each other as well as belonging to one another; mates are for life the attraction cannot be experienced by humans." Logan told me.

I knew that he was staring intently at my face, watching my reaction. I had had to look away from him halfway through his explanation of what a 'mate' was. Logan had been staring at me the entire time, his brown eyes seemed to burn two holes in my face and I couldn't hold his gaze. Logan had been looking at me because he had called me his 'mate' twice.

I wasn't Logan's other half. He himself had said that it couldn't be experienced by humans and I was human so it didn't make sense. There must have been a mistake as I couldn't be his soul-mate. I wasn't destined to be his from birth and I wasn't his. Logan had made a mistake in thinking that I was his mate and soon his actual mate would cross his path and me and my mum would be able to leave.

'How do you find your mate?' I found myself scribbling down on the paper underneath my first question. I didn't know why I was asking how werewolves find their mates as I was sure that I wasn't Logan's mate. It felt as if something lightly squeezed my heart causing it to beat erratically as the heart monitor spiked, although it seemed to go unnoticed by those in the room for which I was thankful.

"Everything about your mate appeals to you, their scent is unique, it's nothing like you've ever smelled before, it's intoxicating and addictive. Their scent is usually the first thing that that you notice when you find your; it draws you towards them and makes your wolf crazy. Your mate is the most beautiful person you have ever laid eyes on and when you touch you can feel tingles dance across the surface of your skin like an electric shock." Logan told me. "It's how I know that we are mates."

Logan sounded so casual that I felt my breath get caught in my throat. He had openly admitted to me and my mum that I was his mate, that I was his soul-mate, his other half for life. I looked at my mum to see that she had a smile on her face while she stared fondly at Logan. I had a feeling that she really liked Logan; I could guess that they had spent a lot of time with each other while I had been out for however long it was. It was rare that my mum would smile openly in front of others and it was clear that she trusted Logan to some extent.

I couldn't help but look up at him and into his eyes that seemed to swirl with an emotion that I could only describe as longing. I hated to admit that I found Logan's scent appealing and intoxicating as Logan has said and in the few times that our bare skin had touched it had felt like tingles had danced across my skin which seemed to cause unknown feelings to blossom within me. It was all a trick; I was imagining it and that seemed like the only logical explanation.

'Do you only have one mate?' I wrote before showing him. I watched as Logan's eyes seemed to flash with anger and what looked like hurt as his eyes re-read what I had written. I had asked because if Logan had another mate that meant that I didn't have to be his forever.

"Esme," my mum said softly as I turned to look at her, "you and Logan are mates and there's nothing that you can do. Werewolves only have one mate and in their world mates are very important, they are treasured and Logan's wolf made no mistake when he chose you. I know it's hard and a lot to take in but Logan will never, ever hurt you. I promise you Mae that Logan is the best thing that will ever happen to you."

I stared at my mum as if she had grown two heads. I didn't know why she was telling me all of this as it meant that we wouldn't be able to be free, we wouldn't be able to rebuild our lives and we wouldn't be able to live our lives like we wanted to. I felt a little hurt and betrayed that my mum no longer wanted to be free as we had both dreamt about it for so long. I doubted Logan would be the best thing that ever happened to me and it confused me knowing that my mum understood more than I did.

'How do you know all of this?' I wrote quickly on a new page as I showed my mum.

She pursed her lips before replying, "I'll tell you after all of your questions are answered, I promise."

I eyed her for a few seconds while silence hung in the air. I wanted to know now otherwise I wouldn't have asked but I could see that it was something important and I wasn't going to like it judging by the hooded look my mum got when she thought about it. I could guess that it had something to do with my dad but I didn't know what.

I decided to stop thinking about it as I wrote down another question on a new piece of paper, 'What's a pack link?' Doctor Luke had mentioned one and although I knew that it had something to do with the pack I wasn't really sure what it was or what it meant. I was curious to know what it was.

"It's a form of communication used by the pack. It's basically where we can communicate with one another through our minds as long as they are on our territory. I can't explain it just like I can't explain why we are werewolves. It's pretty cool really, but it can get annoying." Logan said with a small smile on his face.

It was weird, in the short conversation Logan had managed to laugh and smile even though they were both small and had lasted only a few seconds, it seemed to change his entire facial expression. Logan's laugh and smile had both seemed to send my heart racing, butterflies had gathered in my stomach and I had found myself wanting to laugh and smile along with him.

'You need to explain everything to me mum,' I wrote.

I was tired of having to wait for answers that I desperately needed. I needed to know everything before I could understand the entire situation. If I knew everything, if I knew what my mum was hiding then I knew that I would be able really know what was going on. It was going to change my opinion on the entire situation, for the better or for the worst I didn't know but I knew that I would be able to make sense of it all.

"You need to tell her." Logan told my mum, I was surprised at how fierce his voice was as I narrowed my eyes at his tone but I didn't take my eyes off of my mum who had rolled her bottom lip into her mouth.

"I want you to know," my mum began as she held my hand tightly in hers, "that I never wanted you to find out this way. I love you."

I smiled softly at my mum while I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. I knew that she loved me and I could never hate her for keeping information from me. She had kept things from me for a reason which was most likely for my own good. She had been protecting me like she had always done ever since I was born and I would always respect her decisions even if I didn't like them. I nodded my head encouragingly at her for her to continue.

"I was young when I met your father, it was back in college and I didn't know any better back then. I had thought I was in love, believe it or not, but back then your dad was different; he was carefree, he was charming, he had even asked my dad for permission to take me out on a date. Your dad had been the perfect Prince Charming and I had fallen hard for him." My mum spoke softly as her eyes glazed over as she began to remember everything from her past.

I felt my face scrunch up as she continued to speak about my dad in such a positive way. I couldn't believe that my dad had once been so nice that he had once been a gentleman. I could understand why my mum had fallen in love with him from what she briefly described him to be like. I was sure that my mum wasn't the only woman who had fallen for someone who wasn't what they seemed.

"We had been going out for a few years before he started to act strange. He would lash out at any boy that would look at me, he would become more possessive and he would become violent. I stopped talking to my friends and I rarely left the house. I wanted to leave him and I had been packing my bags when he walked in and that was when he shifted for the first time in front of me. I was terrified; he didn't attack me he just stood there until he was calm enough to shift back. He had started to shout saying that I was never to leave him and I had been too scared to argue back. It was then that he explained to me who he was, what he was and what we were." My mum's voice was slowly turning cold as she continued to tell us her story.

I could feel anger well up inside of me. I hated what my dad had put my mum through; I couldn't even begin to imagine how terrified she must have been. My mum had lost so much in such a short space of time and it was all because of him. It upset me to hear the full extent at which my dad had abused my mum before I had been born. I felt a tug at my heart and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her and tell her that everything was going to be fine but I squeezed her hand reassuringly instead.

"I found out that your dad was a werewolf and he was an Alpha, the Alpha of Crescent Moon pack. He told me everything about his pack that had been passed down to him around the time that we met. He told me that we were mates that we were meant for each other. At the time I had believed him as it had made sense, it would explain why I had fallen so easily for him. I loved your dad a lot and after that I had accepted what and who he was. It wasn't until I was in the library of our old house that I found a book about werewolves." My mum shook her head as I saw tears gather in her blue eyes.

I could tell that the next part I wasn't going to like and it would be hard for the both of us. I couldn't believe that my dad was a werewolf; I had never seen him shift but it would explain why he was so strong, why he was so fast and why he would sometimes growl at me. I felt the world I had known and the life I had lived suddenly shatter a little bit. The life I had lived hadn't been the best but it was all that I had known and now that I was beginning to realise that it had been a lie, I felt it crack right through the middle.

"I had been curious and so I had spent the day reading the entire book from front to the back. I learned about werewolves and other packs but I also learned about mates. Roger had lied; the book had stated that no werewolf could ever have a human mate, it was impossible for any werewolf to have a werewolf mate. I found out that Roger's mate had died shortly after he had found her and he had asked me out because I looked a lot like her. I had been heartbroken and I had planned on confronting him when he got back." My mum's voice was cold now as a tear fell from the corner of her eye which she quickly wiped away.

I felt my heart break at the sight of my mum. I could see that she had truly loved my dad and he had broken her heart. I had thought that I was ready to hear everything my mum had to say but as she continued to tell me her story I realised why she had kept it from me. It was to protect us both, it protected my mum from re-living her heartbreak and it protected me from knowing how much of a monster my dad was. I felt selfish for insisting that my mum tell me.

It didn't make sense. There was no way that I could be Logan's mate, I was human or so I had always thought. I was beginning to doubt everything I had known, and myself. Logan and my mum were positive that I was Logan's mate and that could only mean one thing.

"When he got back from work he had come running in to our bedroom with the biggest smile on his face, it was so unfamiliar that I had forgotten what I wanted to confront him about. He looked so happy, he looked like a changed man as he took me in his arms and covered my face in kisses while saying how much he loved me. Roger had said that I was pregnant, that my scent had changed and he could hear another heartbeat. I had been shocked but I was happy, I had always wanted children and seeing how happy he was made me want to stay with him; despite everything. It didn't matter in that moment that we weren't mates. For the nine months that you stayed within me he showered me with gifts and love, he didn't touch me once, he was a changed man." My mum's voice was bitter.

My heart was slowly clenching with pain as I heard my mum's pain filled story. Logan shifted in his chair and I remembered that he was still in the room. I looked at Logan to see that he was staring at me; his hands seemed to twitch as if he wanted to reach out to me. I looked away quickly and back to my mum. I was slowly learning about a different life, a different person than the man that I had known.

"When you were born I couldn't have been happier. When I held you in my arms you were so beautiful, this tiny bundle that looked up at me with these beautiful green eyes, you didn't cry, you just looked at me. I had fallen in love with you ever since I found out I was pregnant. Roger didn't feel the same he had been upset and I didn't understand until he flipped one night. He had wanted a son, he thought girls were weak and that you wouldn't be able to manage the pack when he passed away, he didn't like what you were. It had been a year after you were born when he returned to his old ways and there was nothing I could do. I couldn't leave him and I knew that you needed your dad. I stayed and protected you as much as I could but when he attacked you, that was the last straw." My mum was breathing deeply with her eyes closed.

Logan had tensed at my side and his form began to shake with anger. I had always known that my dad resented me because I was a girl but it hurt to hear it said out loud. It hurt knowing that my dad was worse than I had ever thought and that my mum had been through so much with no one there. I felt tears gather in my eyes as I squeezed my mum's hand tightly while writing on the note pad.

'What do you mean 'what I was'?' It seemed that there was more than me just being a girl that caused my dad's hatred towards me. I already had a feeling as to what it meant I just wasn't ready to hear the truth.

"Esme," Logan said softly as I slowly looked towards him, tears now falling from the corners of my eyes. I found myself looking into his face, his brown eyes softened when he looked into my tear filled green ones, "you're not human."