Pt. 27: I Know What I Want
I stretched my arms wide when I awoke, blinking rapidly and searching for my phone. Chance groaned when my body twisted toward his nightstand. We fell asleep hours ago with our bodies entwined. Chance had his arms locked around my waist, his cheek resting on my bare stomach. At some point, he had pulled off my shirt and I had expected things to heat up. But when he removed my bra and pressed our bare chests together, I knew what he wanted.
He wanted the closeness that being skin-on-skin provided. Earlier I had made him open up and God, did he. I almost felt guilty for how he had laid everything bare to me. So much pain for a young man to endure. And now all he wanted was to hold me tightly to him.
I wanted it too. Thinking about the loss of my father was rough on me. I don't think I ever dealt with it properly. I, in turn, had been cautious with my affection before meeting my ex. I was scared of being hurt. But after meeting Chance I realized you can only get hurt when you truly care.
I squirmed a little and was able to reach my phone. It was just after 10pm on a Saturday night and here we were in bed and had been for hours. Confessing all your secrets was exhausting. I shifted a little, trying to move out from under Chance's tight grasp. "Stay," he mumbled, probably assuming I was trying to slip off to my own room.
"I'm hungry," I whispered as my fingers drifted to his hair. "We missed dinner."
Chance raised his head, sexy bedroom eyes gleaming in the moonlight trickling in from his window. "I got something for ya," he grinned devilishly.
"You're disgusting," I chuckled lightly, pressing his shoulders in an effort to wrench myself away.
Chance rubbed his hand over his face as he sat up and stretched. "You weren't saying that in the shower earlier."
I reached past him for my t-shirt at the end of the bed. "Yeah? Well that could easily be a one-time occurrence if you don't quit teasing me."
Chance gripped me with both hands, pulling me to straddle him as he sat on the edge of the bed. "You want more. I know you do," he sighed, gazing up at me as his hands squeezed my ass roughly.
I held the sides of his neck possessively and peered down into those ocean blue eyes I loved so much. "What I want," I paused to run my tongue along my lower lip, not missing how his eyes drifted down to stare. "What I want...is a bacon cheeseburger. So unless you've got one hidden under this bulge in your pants...I suggest you let me go."
Chance laughed and I loved that sound. "Blown off for a burger?" He shook his head and stood with me wrapped around him. "You don't like my meat?" he teased as he carried me out of his room.
As if on cue, my stomach growled... loudly. I covered my face with my hands and sighed. "Well that's embarrassing."
"Nah," he disagreed as a smirk tugged the corners of his mouth. "You have a healthy appetite. I like that."
His tone was suggestive and the way his eyes lowered to my chest let me know he wasn't talking about food. He placed me on the counter with his body wedged perfectly between my thighs. "So what are gonna cook me?"
I scoffed and shoved him back, hopping down to push past him to get to the freezer. "Who says I'm making you anything? I'm not submitting to your fantasies of me as Suzy Homemaker, ya know?"
I busied myself with gathering everything I needed to make our late night feast. Of course I would cook for him as he's done for me countless times. His overtly sexual banter was freaking me out. In my head I wondered if he was overcompensating for being so vulnerable with me earlier.
I didn't see him as less of a man for breaking down in front of me. If anything, it made me care more. It scared me how deep my feelings were for him. Especially when I wasn't sure how he saw me.
When I retrieved a skillet from the bottom cabinet, I turned to see Chance staring at my backside. "What's your deal?" I prodded, pointing a package of bacon at him.
He shrugged and his mouth turned up in a way that let me know he was up to no good. "That Suzy Homemaker comment had me picturing you in an apron." I shrugged. "And nothing else."
I stared at him for a moment before returning to my task. The kitchen was heating up and it wasn't from the burgers.
When everything was nearly done, Chance disappeared from the kitchen. I started placing the food on the table when he popped his head in and instructed me to bring it to the living room on the tray we use for our breakfasts in bed. I did as he instructed while he grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses.
I carried the tray to the dimly lit living room, immediately noticing the set up. Chance had lit a few candles, pushed the coffee table back, spread out a fluffy comforter from the closet and placed a mountain of pillows against the front of the couch. He walked around me and took a seat on the floor, placing the wine and the glasses next to him before reaching up for me to pass him the tray.
I knelt beside him as he uncorked the wine and carefully poured me a glass. When he handed me mine, his face fell. "What's wrong? Do you not like this?"
"I like it," I finally murmured when my words came back to me. Honestly I loved it. This seemed more like what couples do. More intimate than even a date. I was overwhelmed with how sweet he was.
Long after our food was gone and the wine bottle was empty, I stretched out on my side, smiling when Chance shifted to lie behind me. He had put on a movie from my Netflix list, one I had saved, but never had time to watch. It barely kept my attention as Chance's hands continued to roam.
I had that warm, tingly feeling all over and Chance was taking full advantage. With his hard body spooned tightly behind me, his hand dipped under my shirt and over my stomach. I giggled and squirmed when his fingers traced circles on my bare skin. "What's so funny?" he murmured into my ear, his voice deep and husky.
"Nothing," I lied, gasping when he gripped my chin and pulled my mouth toward his.
He stared down at me, the light from the paused movie illuminating his face. Sandy blonde hair hung in his eyes and when I reached up to touch him, he shifted his body on top of mine. "Fuck, I want you," he groaned as his hands pinned mine to the floor above my head.
Whimpers from the back of my throat got trapped when he lowered his mouth to mine, licking my lips and tasting me. His lips moved south, coasting down my neck until his hand shoved my shirt up and my breasts were revealed to him. "Mmm... mine," he hummed before my hard nipple disappeared behind his lips.
He released his grip on my wrists, allowing me to bury my fingers in his soft hair. I tugged hard, feeling the sting of his teeth on my nipple. I cried out, a strangled gasp as he continued to tease me with his mouth. I gazed up at him when he released the hardened tip with a pop.
Chance hovered over me, staring down at me with a look of need on his face. He opened his mouth once and furrowed his brow, signaling that he had something he wanted to say. "Fuck," was all he managed to get out.
"You want me?" I panted, gripping the back of his neck and pulling him close.
Chance nodded quickly, his chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath. "I do."
I tugged my t-shirt off and spread my arms wide. "You know I'm yours. All you have to do is take me," I murmured softly before biting my lower lip.
His gaze dropped to my bare chest as he inhaled deeply. He was still holding back. "The only reason we haven't had sex yet is because of you. Your fears are holding you back from what you want." I paused and lifted my hands to my chest, cupping my breasts and squeezing hard. "Is this what you want?"
Chance slid his arms under my knees, letting them dangle over the crooks of his elbows. He leaned over, pressing himself into the apex of my thighs hard. I gripped his forearms as his pelvis rocked into me. "Does that feel like I want you?"
I couldn't even answer him when he dropped his mouth to my neck and moaned against my skin. "Can you feel how hard I am?" he panted.
I pushed him off of me, forcing him to rock back on his knees. When I sat up and fumbled with the drawstring on his shorts, he grabbed my hands. "What're doing?" he gasped.
"Getting you naked. Don't you want this?"
"Cami, stop."
I gazed up at him and sighed deeply. "Seriously, Chance? What the fuck are you so afraid of?"
For a moment, I thought he changed his mind. When he leaned over me, I fell back against the fluffy comforter and waited for him to ravage me. But all he did was retrieve my t-shirt and helped me back into it. "I'm not afraid of you, ya know?" I scowled, scooting out from under him and raising up on my knees so we were face to face. I leaned into him, forcing our bodies closer. "You wanna keep pushing me away because you're so scared you'll hurt me? Well guess what? Getting rejected hurts too!"
I poked his chest and scowled, wanting to get a reaction, but he just stared at me stone-faced. "Wow, okay. Just keep me at arm's length until you decide I can handle this supposedly rough side of you. In the meantime, I'll see if Kyle can handle my needs. Because you're just frustrating the hell out of me right now."
I shifted my body around, turning my back to Chance so I could get to my phone. In an instant, he pressed his body over mine, his front to my back. His hands were gripping my wrists and his lips were on my ear. "You wanna piss me off? Is that it? Convince me to fuck you by getting me so angry I lose control?" he grunted lowly into my ear.
I turned my head and pressed my cheek to the floor. "I just want you to trust me," I whimpered. "I know what I want."
Chance's body sagged and then rolled me over. "Why are you so fucking stubborn?" he sighed, his forehead lowering to mine.
"Why are you?" I countered, reaching for his neck and pulling him closer. Chance smiled down at me, but before I could kiss him, we heard keys jangling in the door. "Fuck!" I whispered, shoving Chance back and scrambling to sit upright.
Chance grabbed for the remote and pressed play while I scooted next to him and covered his crotch with a pillow. "Thanks," he grumbled with a scowl.
"Shit!" Shayne groaned as she tumbled inside and shut the front door. When she snapped the lightswitch on, her expression crumbled. "Sorry...just go back to sucking and fucking. Don't mind me."
"Come on, Shayne. We aren't doing anything," I told her as I watched her stumble towards her room.
"Yeah right," she sighed, using her hands on the wall to steady herself.
I glanced at Chance and shrugged. "I'm gonna go help her. Can you..."
He nodded and grabbed the back of my neck, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. "I got this. You go. Come find me when you're done, okay baby?"
I smiled brightly and gave him another kiss before heading down the hall in search of Shayne. "Hey," I whispered, easing her door open carefully before stepping inside.
Shayne was perched on the edge of her bed, with her head in her hands. I rushed to kneel in front of her, touching her knees softly. "Oh, honey, what happened?" I murmured when I heard her sniffles.
She raised her head slowly, glancing away from me. "I'm fine," she insisted sharply. "Go back to Chance."
"Chance is fine. He's cleaning up our mess."
Shayne zeroed in on me now, lightly running her fingers over a spot on my collarbone. She smelled like vodka and her eyes were bloodshot. "Sorry I interrupted your date," she mumbled bitterly.
I yanked on the collar of my shirt, hoping to hide what she was looking at and assuming it was probably a hickey. "It's fine," I replied. "We were sort of fighting, I guess."
She blinked a few times and then reached down to remove her heels. I took over when she swayed a little. "I hope you didn't drive like this," I scolded her lightly.
"Nah. I was on a date. And we had an uber."
I watched as she struggled to remove her top, helping her lift it over her head. "And how was your date?" I asked, once I could see her face again.
She swiped at the tears under her eyes, smudging her make-up a bit. "Great."
"Tell me what's wrong," I urged, grabbing a make-up wipe from her nightstand and swiping the mess from her face.
She watched me carefully as I helped her. "I'm glad you and Chance worked things out."
"It's not perfect with him. Not sure it ever will be, but he's opening up to me." I paused to set the wipe aside and glanced up at her while she tried to stand. "He told me about his parents."
"Wow," she sighed. "He's never told me anything about them. He just...said that topic was off limits."
Shayne unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans while I stood and went to her dresser for some pajamas. She laughed when she got them about halfway down and then fell back onto her bed. "Fuck," she groaned. "I drank too much."
I pulled her back uptight by her hands, easing her jeans off and helping her slip her legs into some pajama bottoms. Shayne had a glazed over look in her eyes as she stared down at me, still on the floor. "You're too sweet. Chance doesn't deserve you," she mumbled.
"He's not that bad."
She grabbed my hands and looked into my eyes. "You always defend him...run back to him when he hurts you. It's like... like he can do no wrong. Why can't I have that? Why can't I have someone who just sees the good in me like you do?"
"You are good," I insisted. "Look how you helped me and Chance. You're such a good friend."
"Friend?" she scoffed and then hiccupped. "If I was a true friend...I wouldn't have all these feelings. Feelings I just have to keep to myself."
"I know," I nodded. "It's okay."
She blinked at me as I slid a tank top over her head, lifting her arms into the holes. "He told you?" Shayne gasped. "He did, didn't he?" she accused.
"Told me?" I echoed.
Shayne covered her face and groaned. "About my crush! He swore he wouldn't say anything to you..."
I stood and pulled her stand with me. I tugged up her pajama bottoms as she rested her head on my shoulder. "Chance never told me about your crush on him," I chuckled. "I swear he didn't."
"I don't have a crush on Chance," she whispered against my shoulder. I lifted her bottoms the rest of the way and held onto her hips so she wouldn't fall. She raised her head slowly and looked me in the eye. "I had a horrible date tonight. I just wanted to forget for a few hours, but I couldn't stop thinking about it."
"About what?" I asked gently, pushing her hair from her eyes.
Shayne lowered her head until her forehead was pressed to mine. "I just didn't want to think about you and Chance making up. I thought if I could find someone to distract me, then it wouldn't hurt so much."
"I hate that you're hurting. But maybe when you're feeling better, we can all sit down and talk about how you're feeling..."
"No," she shuddered, pulling back from me suddenly. "We always talk too much. I just need to do this...get it out of my system so I can move on."
"Do what?" I shrugged, totally lost and wondering if Shayne was coherent enough to even respond. "I think you just need sleep."
"No," she sighed, letting her eyes fall closed for a moment. "I just need you."
"Me?" I gasped before her eyes snapped open and her hands pushed through my hair and held my head.
Shayne pressed her lips to mine and suddenly it all made sense. It was why she never went home with those guys from the bar that always hit on her. It was why I hadn't seen her with a boyfriend or any male overnight guests since I'd lived here. And why Chance had said he wasn't her type.
Shayne liked girls. And from the way she was kissing me, it seemed as though she liked me. Her crush...was on me?
Her lips and hands were soft and the feeling was different. I had never kissed a girl before and this felt different, but not awful. I stood there frozen as her mouth moved over mine. She pulled me closer and tangled her fingers in my hair. My gut twisted a little when I realized what this meant to her. But I still didn't kiss her back.
Slowly she leaned away from me, her eyes darting back and forth between mine, obviously wanting to gauge my reaction. "Shit," she sighed. "I'm sorry."
She took a couple of steps back and sunk down onto her bed. "I didn't...I shouldn't have..." she sputtered, covering her face with her hands. "Don't tell Chance," she begged, finally looking up at me.
"Tell him what?" I smiled, taking a seat next to her. "I won't say a thing."
Shayne glanced down at her lap and fiddled with her fingers. "I should move out. Give you guys some space. This is getting too hard for me..."
'No!" I insisted. "This was your place first. And we don't need space. I'm sorry if we've made you feel like the odd man out."
"I just don't wanna get in your way."
"You don't. You won't." I reached over to pull back her comforter and she glanced at me. "Just get some sleep, okay? This will all be better tomorrow."
"I'm sorry for what I did," she insisted when I covered her with her blanket.
"We're fine. And you could've told me you like girls. I would've still been your friend, you know?"
She smiled and nodded, looking a little more at ease. "Chance is lucky to have you. You have a good heart."
I didn't respond because Shayne's eyes were already beginning to drift closed. I went to the bathroom for a glass of water and the ibuprofen, leaving it on her nightstand so she could take it as soon as she woke up. Her hangover would probably be a rough one and I hoped she didn't freak out once she remembered the kiss.
After shutting her door, I retreated to my own room with a lot on my mind. Once I climbed into bed, I heard Chance's voice in the dark. "Did you forget about me?" he whispered, settling on the edge of my bed.
I felt his fingers on my cheek, guiding me to look up at him. "Sorry. I was just ready for bed."
Chance nodded. "Okay, we can sleep in here tonight."
"No," I sighed when he tried to pull my comforter back. "I think we should stay in our own rooms."
He froze. "Why? Are you still mad about earlier?"
I shook my head and reached for his face. "No, baby. I'm not. And I'm not calling Kyle to handle my needs," I giggled. "Sorry that pissed you off."
"You should be sorry," he growled, leaning down to get closer to my face. "I'll be the only one handling your ass, you understand me?"
"I know," I sighed, smiling as he gathered me in his arms. "That's how I want it. You and me. Just you and me."
Chance sighed into my hair. "Then let me stay. Let me hold you tonight."
"I don't think it's fair to Shayne...us being coupled up all the time and leaving her out of everything. She feels like the odd man out."
Chance leaned back and scoffed. "She's trashed. I'm sure she won't notice if I sleep in here or not."
"That's not the point. She's talking about leaving the apartment. She wants to move out and give us space. Is that what you want?"
"Of course not," he replied quickly.
"Then just do this for me. Let's cool things off a bit and make time for our friend. She's hurting right now."
Chance ran a hand down his face and sighed deeply. "Is this about Shayne or is this about me and my hangups?"
"Chance..."
"Fine," he conceded, throwing his hands up. "Get some sleep."
I pulled on his hand when he tried to walk away. "Please don't be mad."
He sat back down and caged me in his arms. "I want you with me, Cami. I know I suck at this boyfriend shit and I'm giving you whiplash with my indecision, but I do. I want you. And I'll stay out of your bed tonight. But don't think this will be a regular occurrence. I need you close to me. And sleeping across the hall isn't good enough."
"Okay, Mr. Bossypants," I teased.
"Keep laughing," he warned, his deep voice causing my blood to run cold. "You're my girl. Even if I haven't put a label on it. And I want you beside me."
"You don't know what you want," I challenged.
"I know I want you." Chance glanced away and then sighed. "Our relaunch party at the gym is next Saturday. As long as everything goes as planned. I was just wondering...would you be my date?"
My chest tightened and my mouth went dry. "I uh...I already told Kyle I'd go with him."
"Seriously?" Chance gasped. "What the fuck, Cami?"
"He asked me the night I stayed at his house."
Chance turned his back on me and pushed his hands through his hair. "I need you there with me, Cami. This is a big night for me."
I sat up and wrapped my arms around him from behind. "I will be there. I'll be there to support you, I swear."
"Yeah," he groaned. "With that kid."
"He asked me first."
Chance turned and pressed me back against the mattress. "And I'm asking you to break the date and go with me."
"I can't," I breathed. "I can't do that to him. If I went with you, he'd see me there and know why I dumped him."
I stared up at him as he growled under his breath. "I'm not interested in sharing you."
"I'm not yours," I defied him, tipping my chin up defiantly. "And you have no one to blame but yourself for that."
Chance stared down at me with dark eyes and a furrowed brow. He wasn't happy. "Fine," he pouted.
When he began to climb off the bed, I pulled him back on top of me. "Goodnight kiss?"
"Only good girls get kisses."
I cocked my head and replied, "I'm not good?"
He scowled. "You won't let me sleep in your bed and you won't go to the party with me. Why do you deserve a kiss?"
I ran my fingers through his hair and tugged. "Because you can't live without my kisses."
Chance's hooded gaze said more than he did. "You'd be surprised what I can live without."
"Sounds like a challenge," I mused, grinding myself against him through the blanket.
He pinned my hands to the bed and did a little grinding of his own. "It sounds like a bet to me."
"Oh?" I teased, arching my back and gaining his attention with my ample chest. "What should we wager?"
Chance's head dropped to my chest, nipping at my breasts through my t-shirt. "Hmmm. Interesting idea. The first one to give in and kiss the other gets..."
"Anything they want?" I suggested.
"Ooh, that could be dangerous."
"It could," I sighed. "So is it a deal?"
"No," he replied with his lips hovering over mine. "It's a bet."
I nodded slowly, not able to tear my eyes away from his lips and how his tongue had darted out to run over the bottom one. "It's a bet."
Chance gave me an extra evil smirk as he pulled back and climbed off the bed. "Sweet dreams, baby," he called to me as he reached the doorway.
"Same to you...daddy," I grinned in the dark.
"Fuck," he groaned as he closed my door and left me alone.
....
A/N: thoughts on these new revelations? Are you shocked that Shayne finally made her move? Will Chance find out? Who will give in first with regards to the bet?
So glad you're still here with me and I can't wait for you to see what happens next!
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