Tingles shot straight to my dick when Cami pulled my hair. What the fuck was that? Having my hair pulled turns me on? Since when? I'm the hair-puller around here. My eyes drifted closed for a split second as I struggled to maintain control.

A constant problem any time she touched me.

This trip was dangerous. So much time alone with her, close quarters, and awkward situations like her calling me baby. I could have ignored it, like she tried to do. But fuck that, I called her out on it and man, I loved the way she blushed when I did.

"Tell me everything, Baby."

There it was again. Baby. Damn, I suddenly realized how much I wanted to hear her say it again...and again. Preferably as she begs for me to...shit. Focus!

"Chance, I thought we were gonna talk," Cami sighed as she slumped next to me.

"Yeah, I know. I was just..." picturing you under me. No! "I was trying to figure out where to begin."

"Anywhere you want," she assured me with a squeeze to my thigh.

I glanced at her quickly, loving the way the sunset was setting her hair ablaze with those copper strands glinting in the pink and orange light. I took a few more looks, as safely as I could while driving because I knew once I said this, she would never look at me the same again.

I covered her hand with mine, interlacing our fingers while my thumb smoothed over the top of her hand. Somehow I felt the need to comfort her when I was the one who had the trauma. I sucked in a deep breath and began my story.

"I met Shayne the summer before my sophomore year of high school. I had moved in with my aunt and Shayne's grandma lived next door. It was the beginning of summer and I was in a new place, looking for new friends when I found her."

"You moved in with your aunt? Where were your folks?"

"Gone," I mumbled, scrubbing my hand down the side of my face. "But my aunt was cool. She was my mom's sister and much younger so it was like hanging out with a cool, older sister. She had this old weight bench in her garage that one of her ex-boyfriend's had left behind and after I cleaned out the mess in there, I started spending a lot of time working out. I had this old radio and I would just do tons of bench presses and pull-ups from this bar I found and I listened to music while I did it."

I paused and glanced down at Cami as she leaned into me, gazing up at me like no one in my life had ever done before. In that moment, I made the sad discovery that no one else had ever tried to learn my secrets before. And up until now, I was okay with it.

"So one day I looked up and found Shayne watching me from the garage doorway. I yelled at her," I laughed at the memory, knowing how scared she was at the time. "I don't know why it made me so mad but it did. But the next time I saw her, we actually talked, I realized she was cool as fuck and we became friends."

"She forgave you for yelling at you?"

I nodded and smiled at the memory. "I heard her squealing in the backyard. She was mowing the lawn and came across this huge snake. She lost her mind! I came flying out of the garage with a shovel and killed it for her, but she stumbled back and I was able to catch her before she fell. She was happy I saved her so we became friends."

"You two never dated?" Cami asked timidly.

I shook my head quickly. "We were better as friends. I mean, she was pretty and I liked her, but I definitely wasn't her type. And I after a while I realized how much fun it was to have an opposite sex friend. And we became each others' wing men. So it all worked out."

"You must have had a lot of girlfriends then."

Cami was testing the waters. I could tell she wanted to know more. "I wasn't very popular before I met Shayne. I had been so scrawny and got picked on a lot. But that summer in the garage, I worked out like a fiend and bulked up. Plus, I got my first tattoo that summer when Shayne introduced me to a friend of hers who had a homemade gun."

"And the addiction began?" Cami giggled. "Man, your aunt must've been mad!"

I laughed when I remembered the first time she saw my tattoos. "No, she didn't see them for a while. I started off getting them in places she couldn't see at first. But the first time I came out of the bathroom after a shower and she saw them, man, she was pretty fed up with me. But she knew there wasn't much she could do at that point, so I just kept going."

"So you started school with a buff bod and tattoos for days...the girls must have been going crazy for you."

I shrugged and sighed. "It wasn't a very large school, so the appearance of a new kid was a pretty big deal, I guess. And I got the attention of a certain girl right away. But... that didn't really end well."

"What happened?" Cami asked softly.

My voice got quieter as I started to tell her about the relationship that had ruined me for everyone else. "First week of school, Shayne and I got invited to this big party down at the lake. And that's where I met Kelli. She was so pissed! I didn't know why and she wouldn't tell me but we still talked all night long. I never really noticed in the beginning how she never wanted to go anywhere in public with me. I guess I didn't really think much when she was around."

Cami didn't comment, so I continued. "We had sex pretty quickly. I was just this fumbling dork who had no idea what he was doing and she was a year older and only too happy to show me what to do. Maybe that's why I was so blinded by all the stupid shit she did. Because she was my first and I couldn't see past that."

I glanced at Cami, noticing how she nodded and furrowed her brow. She was already getting in her head, trying to figure it out before I could tell her. "It went on for a month like that. When we were together, it was great...or at least I thought it was. I didn't realize right away that she was only seeing me when she was fighting with her boyfriend."

"Oh," Cami gasped softly.

I nodded and shifted a little, stretching out my back. I was getting stiff and sore from the drive and Cami noticed. "Want me to drive? I don't mind taking over for a while," she offered sweetly.

I slung my arm around her shoulders and stretched a little more. "No, babe. Let me get a ways further and I promise I'll take a break."

Cami snuggled into my side and I started back up with my story. "Yeah, Kelli and Andrew had been together for 3 years. Their relationship was pretty fucked up. They always had these epic fights, would swear it was over, each go fuck someone else and then get right back togther. It was crazy shit." I paused and shook my head, cringing at how stupid I had been.

"I saw them in school together and I believed her when she said she loved me. But when they were on, she ignored my calls and refused to see me. I'd get depressed about it, but then she would come back and beg me to be with her. Hell...I even took her back when she called me one night and said it was over. I could hear her boyfriend coaching her in the background, so I convinced myself she didn't mean it."

"Damn, Chance. That's awful."

I clenched my jaw and steeled myself to tell the rest as Cami gazed up at me adoringly. "It was pathetic. We would steal kisses when no one was around, but she would laugh in my face around anyone else. I couldn't take it anymore. The night of the homecoming dance, she stood me up and I knew why. I went to confront her, following her like a freak until I caught her alone, coming out of the restrooms. I grabbed her hand and pulled down to the weight room and we finally had it out."

"I just told her she had to choose and wasn't playing her fucked up games anymore. She just laughed at me, said I was the school joke and everyone knew it. I still begged her to break up with him and give me a real chance. But she didn't care. The person I fell for was a figment of my imagination. Kelli was cruel and heartless. She left me standing there and when I went back into the gym, I found her telling her boyfriend, Andrew everything. Needless to say, he punched me, we got in a huge fight over it all. But the worst part was, I was the only one who got suspended."

"Why?" Cami replied softly.

"Because Kelli told the vice-principal that Andrew was defending me, that I had been stalking her since day one and to top it off...I started the fucking fight."

I could feel my shoulders tensing, probably under the weight of my regret. Cami smoothed her hand down my arm when I pulled it away from her body. "I'm sorry," she whispered sweetly. "You don't have to say anything else."

I squeezed the steering wheel with both hands, clenching and unclenching my fists angrily. It still shouldn't bother me this much...not after all this time.

"I was finally done with her after that. After spending a month barely being able to get out of bed and nearly failing 10th grade, I somehow made it to the other side. Shayne collected my homework while my aunt kept covering for me while I rarely attended classes. If Shayne hadn't talked me off the ledge and helped me catch up on all that work, I don't know where I'd be right now."

"So it turned out okay."

I scoffed, "No, Cami. I'm far from okay." My shoulders ached with the intensity of how tightly I held this wheel. "After Kelli, I was never the same again. I never got serious with a girl again. I convinced myself that everyone was out to get me and I never stayed around any one girl long enough to see if it was true or not. I was out the door as soon as the condom came off. And the walls around my heart were as high as you could possibly imagine."

"Everyone has bad experiences when it comes to relationships, Chance. All you need is the right girl to show you..."

"No," I growled, interrupting her little pep talk. "That's not all of it."

I veered onto the off-ramp, coasting toward a rest stop and totally in need of a good stretch. After I parked, I unhooked my seat belt and rolled my shoulders a bit. "I need to walk...I gotta stretch a little. Come with me."

Cami was sitting with her hands in her lap, nibbling on the corner of her mouth. "Go ahead. I'll stay here."

I popped my door open and stepped out, anger rolling through me because I had snapped at Cami and now she wouldn't come near me. I walked over to her side and yanked her door open. She wouldn't look up at me, so I knelt down and reached for her face. "Maybe you misunderstood me, Baby. It wasn't a question. Come with me. I won't leave you here alone."

She huffed a little, an adorable pout gracing her lips as she kept her gaze away from me. Finally Cami turned toward me and I held my hand out to guide her toward some benches nearby. She held my bicep as we walked together.

I struggled with what I had to say next.

I watched her climb onto the top of a concrete picnic table, placing her feet on the wooden bench below. I paced in front of her, twisting my body in order to soothe my aching muscles.

Finally, I stopped in front of her, cupping my palms over her knees as I stood between them. "I didn't mean to snap at you," I admitted softly. "I'm just fighting all these emotions talking about these memories. It shouldn't still bother me, but it does."

Cami leaned forward a bit, pushing her hands to rest on top of mine. "I'm sorry for not letting you finish."

I pressed my lips to her temple, breathing deeply and hoping to derive some strength from her sweet smelling skin. "That thing with Kelli messed me up so bad and it wasn't just my inability to commit. I wasn't right with women anymore. I...I was too rough, too demanding. It was just like the way I treated you yesterday, but worse."

Cami blinked up at me. "You lost your temper. It happens."

I shook my head furiously. "No. It's more than that. I'm too rough with the women I've had sex with. I mean sexually, Cami. The need to dominate is undeniable. I... I can't switch it off."

Cami glanced down at our joined hands and then gazed back up at me. "Have you ever forced anyone?" she asked timidly.

"God, no!" I scoffed, backing away from her quickly while pulling my hair. "I would never. The girls I was with...they wanted me to be rough. And if they didn't, I just moved on."

She sucked in a shaky breath and shook her head quickly. "That was a stupid thing to say. I shouldn't have even asked. I just...I needed to be sure."

She wouldn't look at me, her face was buried in her hands as she stared at the ground. I was tempted to walk away from her, just leave her sitting here while I escaped from this mess I had made.

But I couldn't do that. The need to calm her down and make sure she felt secure was too great. And getting to touch her was always a bonus.

I stepped up to her, gripping her wrists and pulling them from her face. Cami still wouldn't look at me. "Tell me what you're thinking."

Cami raised her gaze slowly and I was caught off guard at how beautiful she was in that moment. Her eyes were shining with unshed tears and her lips were parted. But she didn't look at me the same way as before. There was pity in her eyes.

And I hated it.

I leaned away, that feeling of wanting to run was back in the forefront of my mind. Before I could get very far, Cami reached for me. My heart pounded when she pulled me close, my knees hitting the bench, causing them to buckle and for me to kneel between her legs. My hands instinctively curled around to hold her hips as hers slid up my chest and around my neck. We were eye level like this, for once I wasn't towering over her.

"I was thinking...that maybe you told me all that to scare me away." She paused, her glittering green eyes staring me down and watching me so carefully that I didn't dare turn away. "You can't scare me off that easily. I get you were hurt and you want to hurt other people, but I just can't believe you would ever treat me that way. You've always been kind and gentle with me so far. And that just means you can be different if you really want to...if you try."

I buried my face in her neck, suddenly overcome by the extreme faith she had in me. I trailed my nose up the side of her neck, stopping just below her ear and breathing deeply. "I've held back so much with you. I just like things a certain way in bed, Cami. Ways I could never show you. Ways that would corrupt someone as good and sweet as you are." I could feel her trembling under my hands as I gripped her waist and pulled her body even closer to mine. "I won't subject myself to the particular brand of torture that involves you trying to be someone you're not. I've never wanted you to be anyone other than what you are."

"I'm not a virgin," she chuckled as I lifted my head and peered into her eyes again. "And I can handle it...I can handle you. I want to, Chance. Don't kill this before it even begins. We aren't just roommates or two people pretending to be a couple."

"What are we then?" I sighed, trying to pull away from her, but finding she wouldn't release me from her hold.

"We can be anything we want to be. As long as you don't give up on me. Or act like I'm too precious to handle you just the way you are." Her chest heaved and my eyes were drawn down to all the creamy skin between her neck and the edge of her low-cut tee. "I'm not asking you to change."

"I can't treat you that way, Cami. I could never...ever just boss you around like that in the bedroom and expect you to bend to my whims. It's too dangerous for me. I would never want to lose control like that."

Cami held my face in her hands and whimpered, "I trust you."

"You shouldn't," I scoffed, shocked when I tried to walk away but she hooked her ankles around my back and attacked my neck with kisses. Her fingernails raked over my scalp as she sucked the skin under my ear.

"Fuck," I hissed when she rocked into me, her hips pushing into mine. "Please..." I begged.

"Please stop?" Cami purred into my ear as she gripped the hair at the top of my head and pulled slowly. "Or please don't stop?"

"Dammit!" I cursed through clenched teeth, sliding my palms under her ass and easily lifting her from the table top. I whirled around quickly, slamming myself down onto the bench I had been kneeling on with Cami's body clinging to my own. "You wanna kill me, is that it?" I accused as my mouth trailed down her chest, my tongue dipping between her breasts.

Her back arched and her hips lowered, causing my cock to press into the apex of her thighs. She gasped, squeezing at my shoulders as I bit her nipples through her shirt. "Chance," she called out deliciously. "Oh...yes."

My eyes widened at the sight of her writhing in my lap. Her head was tipped back, her throat exposed to me with a wet trail of fresh kisses ending in her cleavage. Two damp circles now adorned her t-shirt and I was suddenly flushed with embarrassment for manhandling her like this while we were outside and anyone could see her like this. Fuck, I had to get ahold of myself.

On the upside, she hadn't run from me. She wasn't disgusted with my previous behavior. And somehow in the deep recesses of my mind, I wondered if I could be different. What if I could retrain myself to kinder...to be the man she needed...in the bedroom and everywhere else too?

I pulled her close to me, circling my arms around her and cradling her body against mine. She giggled when I stood and carried her inside the building. Her eyes went wild when I pulled her legs from around my waist and gently placed her on her feet. "You coming?" Cami tempted me, tipping her head toward the womens' restroom door, her fingertip slipping into the belt loop of my jeans, jerking me close and surprising the hell out of me.

"No, no, no," I argued playfully, prying her fingers out of the loop. "This is your last chance pee break before we get back on the road. T- minus 5 minutes!"

I turned my back, only to feel Cami fisting my tee in her hand. "Chance," she began before I faced her. "We're okay, right? You and me?"

I smiled and gripped her chin between my forefinger and thumb, noticing the way her eyes brightened at the sight of me hovering over her. "I haven't told you everything yet," I sighed. "I'm more fucked up than you could possibly imagine. But if you're still here afterwards...then we will definitely be okay."

Cami smiled shyly and pushed up on her toes to wrap her arms around my neck and press her lips to mine. I held the small of her back reassuringly and kissed like it was the last time.

In that moment, I knew she was all I ever needed and there was no way I could live with myself if I hurt her.

....

A/N: so this was a lot of info, but the secrets are coming out. Maybe it wasn't what you were expecting but Chance story isn't over!

In writing this, I based the characters of Kelli and Andrew off of two people who had treated me similarly in my past. And just like Chance, I made it to the other side.

Never settle for less than you're worth!

Find me on Instagram for sneak peeks and story recommendations 💕
(stephanie.with.an.a)