I was sitting on the roof of my house, staring up at the twinkling stars in the black night sky, desperately wishing that I could become such a beautiful thing myself. However I was an ugly travesty in this world. Everyone would probably agree with me on that thought too.

Stop it, I abruptly thought. It's way too early in the morning to be thinking about ugly thoughts and feelings things like these. It wouldn't help me become any better, so I might as well just forget about it. I decided to focus on the time instead.

It was early in the morning, probably around four a.m.; I wasn't sure though. I didn't really care to be honest. I liked the quietness that the black night provided for me. I hated the busy noisiness that the day was abundant of. All of the commotion gave me a headache after a while. Plus, I would do anything to make the nightmares go away. It was the same dream every single night. It was all just getting to be too much. I couldn't help but think that if Colette was here with me right now she would laugh at me and shake her head, lightheartedly telling me how weird I am for disliking the day and for not taking my medication. She would also say I'm acting strange due to sleep deprivation. She wouldn't be wrong; I'm super weird. What normal person would be sitting out here in the middle of this cold and unexciting night stargazing while others soundly slept in their houses? That's right, not one normal person on the face of this bleak planet. Well, besides vampires.

My mind wandered on to the weather. As if on cue, the sharp bitterness of cold ran through my body, reminding me of my current surroundings. The temperature was cool outside tonight; however I wasn't that cold. Instead, I felt a strange feeling of warmth surge throughout my whole body when the wind blew through my hair and gently blew across my cheeks. The whole thing is a huge oxymoron, I know. The warmth was probably supplied by the collection of blankets that I had wrapped around my tiny frame. It was as if I was a changing butterfly, only wrapped in the toasty cocoon of blankets that I had brought from my room. Anyways, the cold didn't bother me at all. It never has, and probably never will. Or perhaps I wasn't bothered by the cold because I was just a weirdo who liked the cold weather? I still wasn't sure.

I was sitting on the roof of my house because I couldn't think straight being stuffed up in a room all of the time. I needed time out of stupid dull rooms. Preferably my room. I needed air, space, and time to breathe so I could process things. That wasn't too much to ask was it? The answer was obviously yes. Everything was too much to ask lately. Time; that's all I needed. After all, time is such a valuable thing to you after you suffer from a near death experience. You needed time to grow and heal, or at least that is what everyone has been telling me. I lightly chuckled, amused by my absurd thoughts. Why do I always have deep thoughts when I'm tired? I suddenly asked myself. Did I mention that I tend to ramble when I get really tired?

"What are you doing?" a voice suddenly ripped through the night air, shattering through the thick blanket of quietness that I had so suddenly become accustomed to. I whirled around to face the body-less voice, nearly tumbling down the roof in the process. Don't freak out, I silently pleaded to myself. I scanned the night, ready to fight this intruder, whoever they might be. I sighed in relief when I saw the familiar glow of pale blonde hair in the dim moonlight.

"What in the world are you doing here?!" I screeched at the person.

"Your parents are leaving today. They wanted me to watch over you while they are gone," Roan shrugged. He crawled across the roof until we were close, but we were still a good two feet away from each other. Then Roan moved closer to me, studying me. He was sitting next to me, shoulder to shoulder. It felt weird to be this close to him, but he didn't seem to mind. Maybe it was just me.

"Because I need a babysitter," I mumbled, rolling my eyes. I turned back towards the twinkling stars, admiring them once again.

"They just want what's best for you Evelyn," Roan assured me.

"Yeah well sometimes it seems they only care about themselves." I replied. Roan gave me a strange look.

"How could you say that after everything that they have done to look for you and ensure your safety? If they only cared about themselves I sure as hell wouldn't be here right now." He reminded me. I looked down at the roof, regretting the words that came out of my mouth. He was right. I was being a bitch to my parents. They didn't deserve that after all they have been through.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I get crazy when I'm tired," I sighed. He laughed, nudging me with his shoulder.

"It's okay. But may I ask you something?" he suddenly asked me.

"You just did," I bluntly said.

"Smart ass," he responded while laughing. I didn't find it that funny, considering that I was being truthful, but I played along.

"That would be me," I assured. "But yes, you may ask me a question."

"Why are you sitting on a roof at such an early time in the morning?"

"Because looking at the stars help me think," I answered truthfully.

"But it's, like, five in the morning," he prodded, raising an eye brow.

"Five? I would have thought it was four," I rambled. I probably sounded like I was mentally deranged. I ran a hand through my hair, making the blonde clumps become even more knotted. I hadn't brushed my hair for a few days now. "The cold air helps clear my head. And I will do anything to get out of my room. I'm so sick of staring at the same crack in my ceiling. You have no idea how frustrating it is to be crammed in a room all day long."

"No I don't," Roan whispered. He looked into my eyes, trying to hold my gaze. I sighed and looked out at the houses, trying to look at anything but his captivating eyes. I'm not willing to play whatever game he was taking part in.

"So where are my parents going? They seem to be talking to you more than their own daughter." Great way to change the subject Evelyn. Just great. It's not obvious that you hate him, not at all.

"Your mother told me a few days ago that she and your father were going to visit a sick relative. She said that they would be gone for a few days," He answered. Ah, they were going to go see Aunt Meredith, I thought. My Aunt Meredith was sick with lung cancer. She was not doing very well, the doctor said it wouldn't be long now. I knew that my parents had been planning this trip for over a month, and I knew that they couldn't reschedule. I didn't want them to miss out on seeing Aunt Meredith; this trip means the world to my parents. I was just sad that I couldn't tag along with them.

"Did they tell you anything else?" I arrogantly prodded. God Evelyn, you need to learn how to stop being such a bitch to people, I thought. Roan probably thought that I was a total jerk, or a bitch. I don't know which is worse.

"No. I don't think it would have been very appropriate if they did tell me anything else."

"True," I whispered. I suddenly focused on a truck slowly creeping up the deserted street. Without headlights it would have been nearly invisible to any meddling eyes.

"Can I ask you something else?" Roan asked, flashing me a dazzling smile. If I were a normal girl I would swoon and drool just at the sight of him. But unfortunately I had more common sense than that. He was just trying to comfort me, trying to get to know me so his case would go easier. I may be blonde, but I'm definitely not a bimbo like some of the girls out there.

"Go for it."

"Why do I get the sense that you like to be alone?" I froze at the question. No matter how much I wanted to deny his accusation, he was right. I liked to be alone. Lately I have been blocking everyone out. This includes Colette. It's hard to explain to someone like Roan.

"I don't know," I lied.

"I sense that you are lying Evelyn." My cheeks reddened. Crap, crap! He was onto me! How did he know that I was lying? "I suggest you tell me the truth."

"Well your weird sixth sense is off Roan."

"Ah, is it now?" his smile widened. He knew for sure that I was lying. This argument wouldn't end well.

"Yes..." it came out in more of a question.

"I also get the feeling that you're more of the 'suffer in silence' type." He added. What the hell is this guy trying to do here? If he's trying to get me to tell him my deepest darkest secret he can keep dreaming! It's never going to happen.

I laughed, very amused at the thought of me being the 'suffer in silence' type of girl. He was too used to saving damsels in distress. A typical, self-conceded, stuck up cop. "Now you're sixth sense is definitely wrong buddy."

"Then why cut everyone out of your life? Like your friend, what's-her-name? Why-"

"What are you trying to do?" I interrupted, scanning his face. He seemed innocent enough. But I was probably wrong.

"I'm not trying to do anything. I'm just trying to understand why you feel the need to block everyone out. It's normal for you to feel like this, with you being so young an all. I just wish that you would open up to me. Or open up to somebody at the very least." Most definitely very wrong. This sneaky bastard was trying to get me to open up to him.

"I'm fine," I scoffed.

"You call this fine?" Roan gestured to me, and suddenly I felt offended.

"What's wrong with this?" I motioned at myself. Nothing is wrong with me, besides my unruly hair, I thought.

"This just doesn't seem like you," he retorted.

"Well this is me! What's so wrong with it Roan?" I practically screamed. What was with this dude? He didn't know me! Why was he trying to act as if he does?

"It just isn't normal for a person to be sitting on a roof at an early morning hour thinking. It's just flat out strange Evelyn."

"Well for your information Roan Carter, I'm not what someone would call normal."

"I think that you can be normal," he said. He really should not have said that to me when I was this tired. I ignored the comment, but still became aggravated. What the hell is his problem?

"I don't care what you think."

"Well I just thought since I was watching over you-" I stopped listening to his words and his rant. Anger boiled through my veins, getting the best of me. Before I knew it rotten words were spewing from my idiotic mouth.

"Roan just shut up. Just shut up!" I yelled, suddenly infuriated at him. "You don't know one thing about me personally, so stop trying to act as if you do! It is none of your god damned business if I shut people out of my life! You may be playing guard dog for me right now, but as soon as your little head honcho boss person tells you to find a different case to work on, you will be running to go save another blubbering damsel in distress in this god awful town. Just stop trying to act as if you know me and my reasons for shutting people out, because quite frankly, you're one of the people that I'm trying to keep out!" How dare he think that he knows me? How dare he assume the reasons why I shut people out of my life. It's my life for a reason, I wanted to scream at him. He doesn't know one thing about me, nor my situation. He's a liar, just like the people at the hospital. I hate him so much because of it.

The vehicle that I had been watching slowly creeping down the road stopped, right at my mailbox. What the heck? My life has turned into a mystery show.

"I didn't mean to make you mad Evelyn, I just wanted to let you know that-"

"You know what Roan? Save it for someone who actually cares!" Then I stormed off, going back into my room and falling down on my soft bed with a cry. He made me feel like a horrible human being. All I could think about was how much I wanted him to take back his awful words, just so I could take back mine. I already waned these next few days to be over so he would leave. Suddenly I found myself thinking; these next few days with Roan at my house are going to be hell.

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Posted on April 30, 2015

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