The next week at practice, Coach Melissa told us that she had heard back from the Hollywood audition people, and they had said that they were interested in a few people!
"They said that they would be happy to see Cara, Rosie, Lexi, Leia, Lilah and McKenzie for further auditions next week!" Coach Melissa exclaims. Darn it. They weren't interested in me.
Then Coach Melissa announced that we would be performing a group routine at Nationals. We had done one a few years ago, and I was supposed to be in it, but we ended up scratching it because we couldn't get our act together in time.
"I think that my subs are gonna be Julie, Ashlyn, and Becky," Coach Melissa said.
"My jumpers are Lexi, Cara, Annie, Rosie, Jenny, Jake, Emmie, Leia, McKenzie and Lilah," Could Melissa continued.
So I would be a sub. Having to do all the work of learning each and every person's part in the whole routine without getting to go up on stage and show.
I bite my tongue so nothing bad comes out of my mouth. I feel lurk screaming. I've been on this team longer than McKenzie, Lilah and Jake have and they're in this and I'm not?!?
But I know why they're in. There is this one trick called a frog that I've always had trouble with. Its like a hand stand where you bend your legs and snap them back bringing the rope under you and slapping your arms across the floor. It looks fairly easy, but it's actually really hard. You think that one trick wouldn't make a difference, because there are so many othe jump rope tricks, but that's not the case. The frog is way, way, way overly used and I find it incredibly boring and u creative how much people use it. There are plenty of other tricks that can be put in routines that are much harder and look much better, but everyone always uses the frog. I guess it's sort of a general trick, but it's so hard for me!
I knew that if I had gotten my frog a couple weeks ago, I would be in this routine.
After Coach Melissa told us to go work on routines, she came up to me and asked, "It's ok that you're not in group routine, right?" Coach Melissa asked.
"Yea it's fine," I lied, looking at my feet"
"Listen. Julie, don't worry. We're gonna need you. A lot. What if someone gets hurt? I need you to learn every part in this routine. Just in case." "Ok, I will," I reply, feeling a little bit better. But what was the likelihood that someone would get hurt?
That night on the way home I kept quiet looking out the window while Lexi and Jake talked about nationals. Tears filled my eyes, but I hid them and wiped my eyes with my shirt before anyone could notice.
The demo team started making up the routine on Tuesday, but there was nothing for me to really do, so I just worked on my single rope routine.
On Thursday night there were some people missing, and they needed extra double dutch turners in the back for group routine, so Becky and I subbed. Jenny was also in our group, and she was the jumper.
The double dutch part had some really complicated wheel turning that I had to learn. I tried, but I just couldn't make it.
"Stall sooner!" Becky yelled.
"Stall later!" Jenny called.
"Stall longer!" Becky called.
"Turn with wider arms!" Jenny yelled.
I try to take all the advice in at once, but it's just too much with all of the different comments. I would always either get the timing wrong or end up with my arms crossed. Everyone in my group was getting frustrated with me and they're advice turned more into orders and yells. I tried everything, but the more I tried, the more I failed.
"UGH JULIE!!!" Becky yelled. "CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU HERE!!!"
"Why don't we get a drink of water and then try it again?" suggested Jenny, who seemed to have a little more patience for me failing.
After the break, I just got worse. I got even more tired after each try, and got farther and farther from getting it.
Becky yelled at me again, and this time I started to cry.
I'll never be as good as Jenny. I'll never be good enough to be in group routine. I'll never even have enough self confidence to boss people around like Becky does.
The terrible thoughts swirled inside my head. It was one of those times that I wanted to quit the team.
It did get a little bit better though. Coach Melissa wanted us all to try the part together to the music, and of course, I messed my group up. Becky was about to blow a gasket when Coach Melissa sent Lexi over to help me. She showed me how to do the turning part again, and then watched me and told me what I was doing wrong. By the end of the practice time I had gotten the wheel part perfectly.

***

The next week on the way to practice my mom picked up Jake and then drove right past Lexi's house.
"Wait Mom!" I yelled. "You forgot Lexi!"
"No, she got the part for the audition!" she replied. "She can't come to practice this week because she's filming in LA."
"That's so cool!" I exclaimed. "Do you know what it's for?"
"Well, I wasn't supposed to tell yet, but I'll tell you two. She gonna be on American Idol!"
"Oh my gosh, that's so I awesome!" I squealed.
"That is really, really cool," Jake replied.
"I don't know all the details, but you guys can ask her more when she gets back," my mom said.
And so we waited for our now-famous friend to come back.