Blurb: For Gale Cerrera, home is not a safe place. Constantly hearing your parents curse and fight is not exactly ideal for a child, but these were the cards she had been dealt. Determined to escape, she tries everything, from joining the school paper to getting a part-time job. Nothing works. Until she meets Ethan.

Ethan Zamora is an outcast ─ bullied at school, counseled by an incompetent counselor, and haunted by nightmares from his past. He, too, desperately needs an escape. Through poems, books, and Gale's alluring charm, he finds solace and the freedom to be himself.

Every night, Gale and Ethan meet in the woods and sit by an angel statue, sharing their secrets and healing each other's wounds. Together, they learn that the only way to truly escape is to confront what they're running from. As they face the harsh realities they've long avoided, will their friendship survive the storm, or will they find something even deeper?

Author:  Alice_Salvo

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Warning. This review may contain spoilers.

First off, I want to preface my love for the coming-of-age stories. As someone who experienced being an outsider in Junior High, I relate to characters like Gale and Ethan, finding comfort in the pages of books— many of which fall into the coming-of-age genre. Stories like Stargirl (Jerry Spinelli), Walk in Two Moons (Sharon Creech), Eleanor and Park (Rainbow Rowell), and The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton) are all childhood jewels that I would forever look back fondly at. Coming-of-age is like an old friend you have, patting you on the back, saying that growing up is okay— and although things didn't go as planned, everything will be fine.

So when I saw that The Poet's Escape is a coming of age tale, I was genuinely excited to dive in and meet that old friend once more.

Yet, after finishing the story, I found myself with mixed feelings. There were aspects I appreciated that show its potential, but there were also elements that could be reconsidered or handled more carefully. One of the great things about Wattpad is that authors can continue to edit their stories even after they've been published, which means there's always room for growth. I think this story could benefit from a bit of that revision.

Let's start off the review with the things I enjoyed about the story.

The Setting

I love Nueva Vida. This is the place I have in mind when I see that the story is under the coming-of-age/romance genre. It perfectly sums up what an escape looks like: fictional yet well-planned that the readers would not doubt its authenticity. That last part is very important because most of the time, the authors create the setting only for the purpose of aesthetics, neglecting its potential of actually shaping the story. I love how the traditions, culture, and even the geography of Nueva Vida tie into the story's main themes. The celebration of Bagong Buhay (which is the Tagalog translation of Nueva Vida, ha! I feel so smart) reflects Ethan and Gale's chance of living a new life despite the traumas caused by their past. The geographical division of Norte and Sur ties into the story's motif of class disparity among its characters. Dom, with its horses and bustling atmosphere, kind of reminds me of that Vigan street, which just emphasizes the romance in the story. The setting is the strongest feature of your story. If I had any suggestions, it would be to capitalize on the setting, especially in the first chapters of your story. Use it to hook readers in and define the atmosphere of the story. We never saw much of Nueva Vida and its peculiar traditions in the early chapters— maybe you could rewrite to emphasize it more.

The complexity of Tiya Isabel

Look, there's no denying that Tiya Isabel is a bad person. But she sure is an interesting character. Excluding the backstory expositions, the readers only saw her in one scene. One scene in the entirety of the 30 chapters of the story. And yet when she came on stage, she took the spotlight in three words: Pinatay ko siya.

You see, readers are not interested in goody two shoes characters, Kevin Stus and Mary Sues, who are no more than cardboard cutouts meant to stand in for the author's ideal self. What they're interested in are complex characters they can relate to. And how do you create complex characters? By making them flawed. But no, not just flawed. Their flaws must inherently affect the choices they make— and although, as a person, you wouldn't make these choices, you at least understand why they arrived at that point. You sympathize with this person, knowing fully well that if this part of their past did not happen to them, their fate might have turned out differently.

Tiya Isabel is that character. And what's fascinating is that she did not need an entire book to convince you of how interesting she is. So how does she pull this off? Let's go back to the story. Tiya Isabel doesn't make an appearance until the tense confrontation between her and Ethan when he returns to Bulacan in search of Patrick. Up until that moment, everything we know about her comes from Ethan's memories. Through his eyes, she is portrayed as a lazy, shallow figure, obsessed with her telenovelas and indifferent to the harm Patrick caused her niece, even when Ethan presented clear evidence of the abuse through his bruises.

But when we finally meet Tiya Isabel, our expectations are completely upended. We anticipate her to be brash, stubborn, and dismissive toward Ethan. Instead, she is frail and vulnerable, suffering from cancer in her new home. Yet, her complexity extends beyond her illness; her actions and words during their encounter reveal a depth that Ethan's childhood perceptions never captured. For example, she wasn't as vapid as we thought her to be— killing a person and getting away from it requires intelligence, something that we did not expect from Tiya Isabel. Moreover, the hate she had for Ethan didn't exist in the vacuum— she had a reason to hate him, albeit not entirely justifiable. What's important is that it's understandable. It resonates with the readers who, probably once or twice in their lives, experienced not being their parents' golden child. Most of all, I like how it was subtly implied (take note: subtly, not over the nose, not exposed) that Tiya Isabel might have cared for Ethan after all, even just a little bit. It really makes the scene powerful, to let the readers read between the lines. The subtlety preserves the intimacy of the moment.

Tiya Isabel is more than the image Ethan held onto, and this shift in perspective gives her an unexpected richness that lingers long after the scene is over.

Ethan's relationship with Tita Leonor

To be honest, I wasn't sure whether to categorize this aspect of the story as positive or negative because it clearly needs significant improvement. However, I've decided to place it on the positive side due to that one touching scene between Ethan and Tita Leonor. Their relationship has the potential to be a real asset to the story—almost a gold mine of emotional depth—if developed more fully. Unfortunately, it feels like the author hasn't fully capitalized on this opportunity.

I would love to see a deeper exploration of their relationship. Giving Tita Leonor more personality would help the audience appreciate the complexity of her connection with Ethan. She shouldn't be just another cardboard cutout; instead, use her character to enrich the story and deepen Ethan's development. Perhaps by showcasing her struggles that arise from Ethan's inability to manage his trauma, you could create a more nuanced portrayal that resonates with readers on multiple levels.

Now, those are the things that I liked about the story. Meanwhile, here are some others that I think need improvement.

Writing Style

You can clearly write. The writing in the first chapter was really well done, and the flow, seamless. I could imagine the settings well. But the further I dive into the story, the more I recognize your tendency to "purple prose" your writing. This means that, at times, the language can become overly elaborate or flowery, which can distract from the story itself.

Take for example this: 

There are definitely times when using more sophisticated words can enrich your writing, whether to emphasize a point or to showcase a character's personality. However, there are also instances where simpler language would serve the story better. For example, using a term like "euphonious" can disrupt the narrative flow and pull readers out of the immersive experience you've created. It might even give the impression that Ethan is pretentious—claiming not to be a reader yet casually dropping words like that. What are the odds, right? Even worse, readers might project that sense of pretentiousness onto the author herself.

It's important to remember that, unlike in films, novelists are limited to words alone. We can't directly convey what a voice sounds like, so using a term like "euphonious" can complicate the reader's understanding of Patrick's voice. It introduces a highfalutin and somewhat ambiguous definition that doesn't provide concrete auditory details for the audience to latch onto. Instead of describing his voice as "euphonious but twisted," consider saying it was "soft and sweet, yet his words contradicted that gentleness." This way, you effectively illustrate Patrick's deceptive nature while giving readers a clearer sense of how he sounds.

Another approach that could lead to purple prose is the utilization of overused phrases that render that phrase corny or cheesy.

'Wag ka nang umiyak please. Ayoko nang umiiyak ka.

No shit Sherlock.  That phrase is so overused to the point that it doesn't mean anything anymore. It doesn't resonate emotionally and it just seems so cheesy.

Really? Ethan and Gale have known each other personally for like a very short time to warrant that kind of... whatever that is from Ethan. But what really took me out was the Bakit ang mga mata mo ay singliwanag ng mga alitaptap? Bakit para kang pangarap? line. I get it, Ethan writes poems but the way it was pushed into the story was so inorganic and weird that it didn't deliver the intended reaction from the audience. It felt cringe, like a forced hugot or pickup line, especially since the author kind of established early on that Ethan was not open to anyone emotionally. You wouldn't hear a teenager speak like that, even back in 2013 when I was one.

Another concern I'd like to address is regarding the poems in the story. I worry that it might fall into what I'd call the "100 Tula Para Kay Stella syndrome." If you're not familiar with the film, it features a male protagonist who writes poems for the girl he has a crush on, meant to be romantic and impressive. However, as an audience, you can only suspend your disbelief so far. The long and short of it is that the film has become a target for ridicule due to its cringe-worthy poems that viewers are expected to accept as genuinely good, when they really aren't. I understand that poetry is subjective, but I'm concerned that your story sometimes falls into this pitfall. While there are certainly lines that shine, many of the poems come across as mediocre or simply not very strong.

Lack of personal voice

So Gale and Ethan are teenagers, right? I don't remember if this was discussed in the story but they are in 12th grade, so they're–give or take seventeen or eighteen years old.

I had to ask because they don't sound like it.

What I appreciate most about coming-of-age stories written in the first person is the unique voice that authors create through "teenspeak." Teenspeak refers to the specific language, slang, and expressions commonly used by teenagers. It encompasses informal speech patterns, colloquial phrases, and cultural references that resonate with the teenage experience.

So for example, you would not expect a teenager to call a bathroom— or in Filipino slang, CR— a kasilyas, right? Unless that teenager lives in the 19th century or the early 20th century. What teenspeak emphasizes is that to make believable characters (in this case teenagers), you have to let them speak in their natural voice, using words that reflect their sociolect and the culture they grew up in. How many teenagers have you encountered in real life who strictly follow the "roon, doon, dito, rito" rule? Personally, I've never met anyone like that. And if I do, I would be sure to stay away from them because they can sure make anyone neurotic. My point is, it's pretty uncommon for anyone, much less teenagers, to speak so formally. Except in certain events, we tend to use more casual language and disregard the rigid rules imposed by grammar.

I understand that adhering to proper grammar is essential for writing a good novel, but it's important that grammatical correctness doesn't come at the expense of creating authentic characters and organic dialogue. Readers are drawn to stories not solely for their grammatical precision, but because they want to immerse themselves in a believable world—one that feels real, even if it's fictional. Characters should speak in ways that reflect their personalities, backgrounds, and experiences, which sometimes means breaking traditional grammatical rules to capture the essence of their voice.

Right now, your story neglects Ethan and Gale's character voices. Both their narratives are so bland that if you asked me to close my eyes and identify who was speaking, I wouldn't be able to tell them apart.

Lack of Characterization

Now the lack of voice leads us to another, bigger problem: the lack of characterization. When you say that a character lacks characterization, it means that they are not developed very well. They are one-dimensional or stereotypical which affects the overall impact of the narrative and its themes. It may happen due to a lot of things, some of which are inconsistent behavior, limited dialogue, absence of growth, or having surface-level relationships.

Now, the challenge of having two protagonists in the story is that you have two character arcs to develop instead of just one: Ethan and Gale's. You have to develop their backstory, motives, what they want (desire) vs. what they need (moral of the story). And the additional burden into this is that you have to make sure that all these elements complement each other, from the two characters. Because you have to tie them to your themes.

Now, it is hard but not unheard of. And the hard work could pay well if you are able to pull it off. Case-in-point: Eleanor & Park (Rainbow Rowell) and All the Bright Places (Jennifer Niven). Both feature narration from two protagonists, the first one just used third person rather than first person.

In your case, Ethan stands out as the most developed character. While there are some hiccups—such as his inconsistent behavior in opening up to Gale after only a few weeks instead of confiding in Tita Leonor—his blueprint is clear. I understand his desires: he wants to get close to Gale, be like everyone else, and forget the traumas of his childhood.

I also recognize what he needs: to open up to others, including Gale, and to accept that what happened in the past cannot be changed while still finding a way to move on with his life.

Gale, on the other hand, is a totally different story.

I kept reading the book in an effort to understand Gale's motivations. What does she want? What does she need? But even on the last page, I couldn't find a clear answer. Gale's arc lacks coherence, to be honest. While we know that her parents are fighting, it's unclear how her backstory connects to her present struggles. For example, how does the loss of Carlos shape her decisions or influence her outlook on life?

The problem is that Carlos' role in her backstory doesn't feel integral to her character. If you removed Carlos from the story and replaced his loss with a different backstory—like her losing a best friend or being adopted—it wouldn't significantly change the narrative. This makes Carlos feel unimportant to the core of Gale's character. So, what if that loss happened to her? How has it truly shaped her? Ethan's past has clearly made him withdrawn and deeply affected his behavior. But what impact did Gale's past have on her core beliefs and actions in the present that we, as readers, should care about?

Nothing.

Her trauma comes across as though it was added just for dramatic flair, which is one of the worst things you can do to a character. It feels like Gale doesn't make any significant choices that drive the story forward. She doesn't defend Ethan when he faces consequences because of her actions, she doesn't confront or even stand up for her mother, and when she does intervene, it's always when there's little to lose—when the stakes aren't high.

For example, there's no real risk when she stands up to Ethan's counselor. Her desire to study in Manila isn't given enough weight throughout the story. We never see her pushing herself academically, studying late at night, or stressing over exams. So, when her father threatens to withhold support for her education in the city, it doesn't feel like there's anything truly at stake. In comparison to Ethan, Gale's character feels overly coddled. While Ethan faces real struggles, Gale's challenges seem shallow, lacking the emotional depth and growth that would make her a compelling character.

Other undeveloped characters include Fred and Ben. Fred's aversion to Gale and Ben's reactions toward Ethan feel underdeveloped, especially when considering their supposed protective nature. Being protective can be an endearing quality, but in their case, it ends up coming off as more irritating than sympathetic.

Instead of appearing as a caring friend, Fred comes across as someone who is either unaware of his own double standards or simply using his "protectiveness" as an excuse to control Ethan's choices. His behavior lacks the depth and consistency needed to make him a believable character. If his intention was truly to protect Ethan, then why doesn't he confront Theo and Pluto about their bullying? Why does he continue to align himself with them while warning Ethan away from Gale? This inconsistency in Fred's actions not only undermines his character but also makes it difficult for readers to understand his true motives. It doesn't help that the author provided a flimsy excuse as a justification of Fred's aversion towards Gale.

The same case can be said for Ben. Although we saw glimpses of him and Gale before, the readers did not witness the depth of their friendship, saved from some expositions handed to us in the story.

I think Fred and Ben's aversion towards their friends' significant others are not very in-character of them. There was no clear motive for their hatred. Which makes it look like an "idiot plot" or a conflict that works only because the characters act in unrealistic, foolish, or uncharacteristically clueless ways.

On Backstory and Filler Scenes

One of the reasons why Isabel's character was interesting was because much of her backstory was left in the shadows, unlike in other cases (e.g. Carlos and Patrick revelation) where it was handed through exposition. The backstory is the most powerful when you don't show it all (except for a few cases). I don't think it was necessary to expose how Ethan was first raped by Patrick. I think that by leaving fragments through memories, and not telling it all, it would have been a more nuanced part of the plot.

Another thing I've noticed are the filler scenes. Have you ever heard of the Chekov's Gun? Basically, it's a storytelling principle that states that every element introduced in a story should have a purpose, and if something is mentioned, it should eventually play a role in the narrative. The famous phrase is: "If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one it should be fired." Essentially, it means that you shouldn't introduce any detail that won't become relevant later on.

Well, your story has a pistol hung on the wall that it didn't fire in any of the subsequent events. Case in point: Gale's visit to her father's office. What purpose does that serve? The characters sure did not interact. And if you are going to reason that it showcases Gale's hesitance to approach her father, then I think you can come up with much more interesting scenes in which both of these characters do interact. It's not good for a story to have many scenes like this because you can only hold your reader's attention for long.

I know that writing a story is no easy feat, and my list of suggestions for improvement might seem overwhelming. But believe me, I struggle with these aspects too. What matters most is that we're both working to get better. The potential in your writing is clear—you've got the foundation. Now, it's just a matter of refining those basics. Keep pushing forward, and good luck to you!

P.S. I like your old cover better. It has more relevance than the one you are using now. =) I hope I was able to help you.