¤ Turning Page
Sleeping At Last ↲

I've waited a hundred years
But I'd wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do

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Warm.

Dark.

Quiet.

This was a great place to be.

Where was he again?

Taehyung opened his eyes, looking up at the tiled ceiling. Fuck, he felt nauseous. Why did he feel so fucking nauseous? He squeezed his eyes shut, inhaling deeply through his nose and exhaling out of his mouth. That helped a little, so he repeated the process over and over.

After the urge to barf all over himself subsided, he opened his eyes again and surveyed his compact room. There wasn't much to it besides his small bed, a chair nestled in the corner, and the medical equipment hooked up to him. An open door let in indistinguishable conversations between passerby, their voices slightly muted as they walked by his room.

"Hi, there! Look who's awake." A peppy nurse stuck her head into his room, grabbing a chart outside his door before entering. "How are you feeling?"

It took a moment for Taehyung to register the nurse's question, but he smiled once his groggy mind finally understood. "Good. I think?"

The nurse chuckled, jotting down some notes in her medical chart. She moved to fiddle with some of Taehyung's tubes and wires, humming to herself in the process.

Taehyung never had surgery before, let alone visited anyone in a hospital, so this was all new and fascinating to him. In his state of curiosity, he twisted to see what she was doing, though quickly came to regret that decision. An excruciating pain erupted all over his side, a hot slicing feeling that almost caused him to pass out.

"Ow," he gasped, his hand instinctively coming to clutch his abdomen. That was the wrong thing to do as well. "Ah, fuck."

He took deep and controlled breaths, attempting to focus on that rather than the pain. But that just seemed to make everything hurt more.

"We can give you more pain meds, hold on," the nurse said to him, doing something to one of his fluid bags. "There. It should take effect in just a few minutes."

"Thank you," Taehyung sighed in relief, eager for anything to help numb the burning throbs in his side. "What time is it?"

The nurse checked her watch, one of those fancy smart ones everyone had nowadays. Taehyung preferred the old fashioned kind, the ones with worn leather bands and analog faces. He'd have to invest in one whenever he saved up enough money.

"It's just after three thirty," she said, smiling up at him reassuringly. "Your surgery went well. Took a little longer than we initially planned, but all four of you are doing great."

That was good news and helped to dull the pain in his stomach. That or the medication was starting to kick in.

Prior to the surgery, when Taehyung suspected he would be the most nervous, he had been surprisingly calm. He had a feeling, right in the pit of his stomach, that everything was going to go smoothly. And based on what the nurse said, it did.

But then, after a few moments of thinking over all the nurse told him, it hit him. The time.

Three thirty?

That couldn't possibly be right . . . Wasn't he supposed to be done around noon?

Shit. That was right. Everything got delayed. A lot delayed, apparently, judging by the time.

Over the last few weeks, Taehyung did everything he could to plan out the specifics of the surgery down to the minute. Creating a schedule he could stick to was of utmost importance, though his doctors repeatedly explained how difficult it was to predict the exact timing. There were too many moving pieces to factor in to accurately determine what time he'd be out of the procedure. However, if everything went according to plan, Taehyung's surgical team guessed he'd be out before one in the afternoon.

But things did not go according to plan and here he was. Three thirty.

"Can you tell me how Jeon Juyeon's surgery went?" Taehyung asked his nurse, his senses slowly starting to dim as the pain meds kicked in. "Do the doctors think her body will be more receptive to this kidney?"

The nurse considered him for a moment before pasting on an apologetic smile. "I'm not at liberty to discuss other patient's information, unfortunately."

But he needed to know how it went. Taehyung just wanted to hear that the doctors were positive about this outcome. If the medicine wasn't numbing his body and mind so much, he'd demand an answer.

"I'm her brother."

The nurse looked at him doubtfully, and before she could disagree with him, Taehyung quickly amended.

"I'm her brother-in-law. Well, almost. I'm engaged to her brother."

The nurse tapped a pen against her clipboard, clearly trying to determine if she believed him or not. "You sure about that? I don't recall seeing any family members listed on your paperwork."

With a quick nod of his head, Taehyung attempted to smile widely. His mouth felt so loose and relaxed, however, he wasn't sure if his lips made the right shape. "Yeah, Jungkook is . . . Jungkook . . ."

Oh, no.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Three thirty.

Taehyung told Jungkook he was going to find him by one at the latest. A new onslaught of nausea came down hard on him as he flung his hands over his eyes. Jungkook was probably going out of his mind with worry.

Fuck.

The weight of his mistake settled down on him, a dawning realization that made his heart sink. Why he thought he could successfully coordinate this - to have the surgery without Jungkook's knowledge in order to save him from unnecessary worry - he didn't know. He should've never kept something this massive from Jungkook, his freaking fiancé for fuck's sake.

All of Taehyung's stupidity was finally becoming obvious to him as he imagined Jungkook freaking out, trying to find him once one o'clock rolled around. And with the false information Taehyung told the younger, there was no way for Jungkook to know where he really was.

His heart rate was steadily increasing, so much so that the machine he was hooked up to started beeping faster.

"Hey, are you okay?" The nurse asked, reaching for her stethoscope to listen to his heart. "Take some deep breaths for me."

Taehyung tried to do as she asked, the haze of medication making it difficult to concentrate. But he had enough clarity to know one thing.

He royally fucked up.

"You need to tell Jungkook," he begged, words thick as they stumbled off of his tongue. "You gotta tell him."

The nurse pulled back, wrapping her stethoscope around her neck once more. Her mouth pulled down in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"You need to tell him . . ."

But before he could finish his sentence, his head fell back onto the pillows. Everything went black as the pain medicine pulled him under its sweet and welcoming spell.

There were no dreams in whatever plane he was transported to. Just a quiet peace, a comforting warmth. His heart was at ease, almost like he was home.

Home.

Yes, that's where he was. His mind, body, heart, and soul had all returned home.

Reluctantly, Taehyung pulled out of that calming darkness, eyes opening to a dim room. He stared at the ceiling tiles again, thankfully not as groggy or nauseous as the last time he woke up. He was also in a lot less pain, his body deliciously desensitized.

Taehyung also realized, judging by the weight of his hand, that he wasn't alone.

Jungkook was here.

The boy was holding onto his hand, grip firm but not too tight, with his body awkwardly slumped over the tiny bed. He appeared to be sleeping, though he sighed and mumbled restlessly every few seconds.

Taehyung's heart dropped when he took in how swollen Jungkook's face was, eyes puffy and cheeks red. The thick black hair on top of his head was all out of place, hanging messily over his forehead. His clothes looked stiff and wrinkled. And those plump lips, usually soft and smooth, were raw and torn from being bitten at harshly.

A painful lump formed in Taehyung's throat at the sight of his broken fiancé. He did this to him. He was responsible for his love's pain.

With a shaking hand, Taehyung carefully pulled out of Jungkook's grip to gently push back his messy hair. And even though he kept his touch as light as possible, a pair of dark and bloodshot eyes opened to meet his own.

Almost like he was in a dream, dazed and slow moving, Jungkook lifted his head from the bed. Feature by feature, he inspected each part of Taehyung's face, probably trying to assure himself that this was real. When his assessment was complete, he reached for Taehyung's hand again and intertwined their fingers.

A single tear escaped the confines of Jungkook's eyes, rolling down his cheek and leaving a shiny path behind. The lump in Taehyung's throat got bigger and more painful as he fully understood the younger's anguish.

"Kookie -"

"Why did you do that to me?" Jungkook asked brokenly, his voice hoarse in a way he'd never heard before. "Why?"

Taehyung squeezed his hand as tight as he could, the IV needles in his hand shifting uncomfortably. But he didn't care. That was nothing compared to what Jungkook was probably feeling.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, lips trembling uncontrollably. "I screwed up so badly. I . . . I didn't want you to worry."

More tears trickled down Jungkook's cheeks, his eyes becoming filled with them. "I couldn't find you. I spent hours thinking something terrible happened to you, Tae. I didn't know if you were safe or even alive. We had just gotten engaged and then you were gone. Do you know what that felt like?"

Taehyung's eyes were blurry with tears, the despair from Jungkook's voice causing him more pain than the stitches in his abdomen. He did this. He did this to the person he loved the most in the world. Fuck, he wished he never kept this a secret. After all they'd been through together, he really should have known better.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated, barely above a whisper. His heart rate was picking up again as he got more emotional, the beeping from his monitor proving that fact.

Jungkook's jaw was still quivering as he cupped Taehyung cheek with his free hand, his fingers tenderly wiping away his tears. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Taehyung leaned into the touch, needing a moment to collect himself. All the reasons he had, the logic he assumed was solid, seemed so stupid now. Seeing Jungkook this distraught hurt so much he could barely breathe.

"I was going to tell you, I swear. As soon as I got the call with the offer, I was going to tell you. But then you were so happy that the donor didn't have to be me. Your smile was so big and you were so excited. And besides that, you were already nervous for Juyeon and I didn't want to add to that."

"So what did you think would happen? That'd you come out of surgery, find me somehow, and say surprise? Was that the plan?"

Regretfully - and with a twinge of embarrassment - Taehyung nodded his head in affirmation. "I thought I could plan it all out. Have the surgery without causing you to stress, then have someone go and get you right after I woke up. It . . . It sounded like a good plan in theory."

Jungkook was gnawing on his lip, biting so hard Taehyung was worried it'd start bleeding. Most of the younger's tears had dried up by this point, though he was still clutching Taehyung's hand for dear life.

"I want you to know that you can tell me anything, Tae. Even if you think I'm not going to like it. Even if it'll hurt me," the younger said, rising up and leaning closer to Taehyung. "We've always been so good at communicating with each other. That's always been one of our strengths."

An onslaught of guilt washed over Taehyung and suddenly he was crying even harder, tears dampening the hand Jungkook still had on his cheek. All he wanted to do was protect Jungkook from pain and sadness, but he caused that pain and sadness anyway.

Jungkook carefully sat on the edge of the bed, getting as close to Taehyung as possible. "I will always respect any decision you make because I respect you. And yeah, I would've been scared, but nowhere near as terrified as I was earlier."

Taehyung didn't know what else to say. Jungkook was absolutely right and there was no way he could rectify what he did. Anger and shame and resentment rose up within him; if only he had thought this through more, he could have saved them both from feeling like this.

"Are you mad at me?" He said at last, gaze dropping from Jungkook's. He looked down at his lap, nervous to hear the answer even though he already knew it.

A slight chuckle sounded from the younger before he tilted Taehyung's chin back up. Their eyes met, and this time, Jungkook's were a little bit brighter. "You bet your ass I am. But I'm even happier that you're okay. Fuck, I'm just so happy you're alive and safe and with me. It feels like I can breathe for the first time today.

"And," Jungkook emphasized, a smile spreading over his lips. "I'm so proud of you. You didn't just help Juyeon by doing all of this . . . You helped another sick person, too, Tae. My parents and I met the other family earlier and they were so grateful. Grateful to you."

Taehyung took in Jungkook's smile and couldn't help but smile himself. "Really? You're proud of me?"

"Of course, I am. You're such an amazing person, Tae, and I'm honored to be your fiancé. But you're my fiancé, too. That means you can't just go and get yourself cut open without telling me. Okay?"

"Okay," Taehyung nodded, reaching out to pull Jungkook as close as possible. "I'm sorry again, Kookie. It was never my intention to put you through any of that. I love you."

Jungkook pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, lips rough and dry but still just as comforting. "And I love you. Now let's move on from all the apologies, yeah? I know you're sorry and I forgive you. God, I more than forgive you. What you did . . . I don't know how to thank you."

Taehyung brought his hand up to brush through Jungkook's hair, pushing back the tangled locks to better see his face. "I didn't do all this for the gratitude or to have you guys indebted to me. I just . . . I love her too, Kook. I love you all. I'd do anything for you and Juyeon and your parents. Because you're all my family."

Jungkook's face got closer and closer, his dark eyes filling up Taehyung's vision, before he tenderly kissed him on the mouth. His lips applied the faintest pressure, barely moving, but Taehyung felt its impact all the same. He felt the fear and despair, the gratitude and the joy. He felt the love.

"You're our family, too," Jungkook murmured just above his lips. "You're a Jeon now."

The corners of Taehyung's mouth pulled upwards as he finally started to feel at ease again. "Well, technically I'm not a Jeon yet."

Jungkook stole another kiss, nothing more than a chaste peck, but it still warmed Taehyung's entire body. "Maybe not in name, but you're a Jeon in every other way. And one of these days, we'll get a pretty piece of paper that says you're Jeon Taehyung. Then everything will be official."

"So after everything I put you through, you still want to marry me?" Taehyung asked, half-teasing and half-serious. He leaned back against the pillows to reduce some of the discomfort he felt in his side.

Jungkook helped him get settled, propping up the pillows before taking hold of his hand once more. "Is that even a question? Of course, I still want to marry you. You are my best friend, my person, the love of my life. You're my everything, Tae. And I know, without a doubt, that we'll both mess up again in the future. But nothing will ever change how I feel about you."

A burning started in Taehyung's throat again, but this time for a completely new reason. He was so lucky, so incredibly lucky, to have this man in his life. This man who was understanding, forgiving, compassionate, and loving.

"Come here," Taehyung murmured, pulling on the younger's hand.

Jungkook licked his lips, moistening them before kissing Taehyung full on. The slide of their lips was rough and all-consuming, not the sort of kiss acceptable for a hospital setting. But Taehyung didn't care. All that mattered was Jungkook.

"Lay down next to me," Taehyung ordered lightly, a little out of breath. "Want you to hold me."

"I don't think there's enough room, baby," the younger said, kissing his forehead before pulling back. "And I don't want to hurt you."

"Well, as your fiancé, you need to listen to me," Taehyung countered, rubbing his thumb over the back of Jungkook's hand.

The younger rolled his eyes, that sparkle growing even brighter. "Well, you need to listen to me, too. That's how this whole fiancé business works, you know."

"Did you just say fiancé?" A new voice - sounding astonished and disbelieving - interrupted, breaking Taehyung's and Jungkook's little bubble.

It was Jiho, a hand over her heart as she walked further into the room. Jaewoo was right on her heels, not looking quite as shocked as his wife.

"Did I hear you right?" Jiho breathed, coming up to the other side of Taehyung's bed and placing a hand lightly on his shoulder. "Are . . . Are you two . . .?"

Taehyung kissed Jungkook's knuckles, right over those tattoos he loved, before smiling up at Jiho and Jaewoo. "You did. We're engaged."

Jiho made a high-pitched squealing noise, her hand moving up to cover her mouth. "Since when?"

"Since yesterday," Jaewoo grinned, securing an arm around his wife's waist. "Taehyung is going to become a Jeon, sweetie."

Jiho and Taehyung both gaped at the older man, mouths open and eyes wide.

"You knew?" Jiho asked him, lightly smacking him on the chest. "And you didn't tell me?"

Taehyung turned to Jungkook, wishing he wasn't hooked up to all these wires so he could hit him, too. "You told him without me?"

"My dad eavesdropped," Jungkook corrected, sticking his tongue out at Jaewoo.

"It's not eavesdropping when you're talking so loudly the good angels above can hear you," Jaewoo replied with a scoff, waving his hand in dismissal.

"This . . . This wasn't exactly how I envisioned telling you guys," Taehyung revealed sheepishly, looking between Jiho and Jaewoo. "Both Kook and I agreed to wait until after Juyeon felt a little better."

"And after you felt better apparently, huh?" Jaewoo added, grabbing the chair from the corner and pulling it closer to the bed. "Tae . . . You're family. You didn't just scare Kook today, you scared us, too. Whether you like it or not, both Jiho and I look at you like you're our son. So you can't do something like this again, okay?"

The room was suddenly blurry as a fresh wave of tears filled Taehyung's eyes. These people, who had been strangers up until a few months ago, thought of him as their son. And truthfully, they were more parents to him than his birth parents ever were.

But that just reminded him how blood didn't always constitute family.

Jiho leaned closer, running a hand through his hair with a tender touch. With the touch of a mother. "We love you, Tae. And I'm so happy for both you and Jungkook. Once we're all home, we'll have a big celebration."

"I love you guys, too. And I'm really sorry for doing this without telling anyone," he said again, looking at each of them before settling on Jungkook again. "I . . . It was something I had to do, but I did it in completely the wrong way."

"How did all this happen?" Jungkook asked, sitting in the chair Jaewoo brought over. "I'm still a little confused over everything."

Taehyung nodded, the past few weeks seeming like such a whirlwind. "Juyeon's doctor, Doctor Cho, called me a couple hours before she broke the news to you all about the donor. She explained that another family got tested, but no one was a match for their son. But, when they ran checks in their database, they saw that I was a match for him. And that their daughter would be a match for Juyeon. Doctor Cho said there were paired kidney exchanges that helped two patients at once by essentially swapping their donors. And, if I elected to donate to this other kid, Juyeon would receive a matching donor as well. So of course I said yes. I wanted to tell you guys myself, so I asked if she could keep that fact confidential."

The three Jeons all stared at him, shaking their heads with shock. Jungkook squeezed his hand tighter, Jiho reassuringly rubbed his shoulder, and Jaewoo was oddly holding onto his blanket-covered ankle.

His family.

"I don't get one thing though," Jungkook said, drawing Taehyung's attention once more. "I was with you all day before Doctor Cho called us with the news. When did she call you?"

Taehyung smiled at him, remembering that moment clearly. "When you were on the phone with that art society rep. Remember, my phone started ringing?"

"But I thought that was Yoongi calling?"

"I let you believe it was," he responded, recalling how he practically ran out of the house when he realized it was the doctor and not his friend. "And as soon as Doctor Cho told you guys about the donor, I was going to explain my involvement. But then I kept putting it off for really silly reasons, then just figured I could have the surgery without telling you all beforehand."

"And I'm going to put you in a headlock for that later," Jaewoo sniffed, wiping at his eyes. "But I'll wait 'til you're healed. And until then, we're just going to give you lots of love and hugs. Thank you, Tae."

Jiho bent down and kissed his head. "Thank you, Tae. For what you did for Juyeon, for loving our son, and just for being you. We're so blessed to have you as a part of our family."

The four chatted for a little longer until a nurse came in, letting Taehyung know it was time to be moved out of the recovery room. He'd be moved into a post-critical care room, where he'd remain for a couple days until he was discharged. After a few minutes of convincing the nurse - and then persuading the doctors - it was arranged for Taehyung and Juyeon to be set up in the same room.

The doctors asked Jungkook and his parents to give them a half hour to move both Taehyung and Juyeon to their new room, so the three Jeons went to grab a quick dinner. Before they left, Jungkook gave him an unabashed kiss, promising there was going to be much more where that came from in the coming days.

As Taehyung was slowly moved to another floor, he couldn't help but smile. He still wasn't completely guilt-free over how he handled everything, but he wasn't going to continue berating himself. It wasn't useful and he couldn't change what happened. All he could do now was learn from this experience and do better in the future.

And he would. Taehyung had a family now, a family he could lean on. A family he loved and wanted to respect. Without a doubt, he was going to work hard everyday to be the best person he possibly could be.

That was his dream, after all.

A short while later, he was rolled into a new room that was double the size of his last. There was a couch and a couple of chairs, along with a TV secured to the wall. Juyeon was already here, though judging by her silence, she was sleeping.

Taehyung felt like he needed a nap himself.

Once all his tubes and wires were righted, his nurse left him and promised to bring in food shortly. He hadn't realized it until she said anything, but Taehyung was starving. He hadn't eaten since before lunch yesterday.

The room was now calm and quiet, so Taehyung allowed his eyes to droop closed. He'd sleep until dinner; he knew he was going to need all his energy to deal with Juyeon once she woke up.

Yes, that was a good plan.

"You gonna explain to me why you're in that hospital bed, TaeTae?"

Oh, boy.

Taehyung opened his eyes and turned towards Juyeon, who was in the process of raising her bed to a sitting position. She looked surprisingly well for having just gone through a major surgery, with her hair neatly braided and everything.

"How are you feeling?" He evaded, trying to raise his own bed. "Are you in any pain?"

But she saw exactly what he was attempting to do and glared at him. "A nurse just explained to me what you did, Tae. She explained all about the kidney swap and how you gave your kidney to my donor's brother."

He swallowed, smiling a bit nervously as she continued to scrutinize him. "Yeah, that might have happened."

"Did everyone know about this except for me?"

Taehyung sighed, shaking his head as he finally sat up fully. "I didn't tell anyone."

There was a pause as Juyeon assessed him, something seemingly clicking in her head. "My brother was a wreck earlier. He wouldn't tell me why, but he was an absolute wreck, Tae. I've never seen him like that ever before. You're an idiot for not telling him."

"I know," Taehyung mumbled, clasping his hands tightly together. "I know and I'm sorry -"

"Stop," Juyeon ordered, holding up her hand to silence him. "Yeah, you messed up. But whatever, it's done. Now I get to say something."

He nodded his head, waiting for her to go on. In this moment especially, Juyeon did not seem like a twelve year old to him. She seemed so much older, conducting herself with more grace and maturity than he had.

"I have a feeling you don't want me to thank you -"

"I don't," Taehyung interrupted, "you don't need to."

" - but I'm going to anyway." Juyeon twisted a bit more towards him, a small grimace of pain pulling at her mouth. "What you did for me . . . the love you showed me . . . Thank you, Tae. You've taught me so much about resilience and compassion, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life. I know you already know this, but you mean so much to me. You really are my brother and I love you like my brother. And, according to my chatty nurse, you just so happen to be engaged to my other brother. Is that true?"

At her incredulous and demanding expression, Taehyung had to chuckle. That chuckle turned into a laugh, which hurt more than he could explain but didn't regret it. "Yeah. Kookie and I are engaged."

A smile formed by pure elation and joy pulled at Juyeon's mouth. "How did it happen? Did you ask him or did he ask you?"

A warmth instantly flooded Taehyung's cheeks as he recalled exactly how they became engaged. To think it was just yesterday, too, was incredible. Yesterday felt like a world away.

"Judging by how embarrassed you look, I'm guessing you and Kook were -"

"Cuddling," Taehyung finished quickly, not wanting to hear her guess. And if he knew anything about Juyeon, he knew she probably could assume the right answer.

She rolled her eyes, sinking further back into her pillows. "Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?"

Before Taehyung had time to think of a clever response, the rest of their family came into the room. Jungkook immediately came over to him, kissing him softly before playing with his bed's remote controls. Jiho unloaded bags of food while Jaewoo pestered both Taehyung and Juyeon with endless questions on how they were feeling.

And throughout it all - even though there were remnants of emotional regret and physical pain - Taehyung was happy. So immensely, inconceivably, brilliantly, and beautifully happy. He had everything he'd ever need right in this room.

Taehyung was the luckiest person in the world to find this kind of love and this sort of family. And he'd never take any of it for granted.

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》 V A L E N W R I T I N G 《

My heart is so warm ❤

Tae should have 1000% told his family about his plan. It was really stupid of him not to, but sometimes we don't see clearly when we're trying to protect the ones we love. And even though JK had every right to be livid, he realized what was more important and showered Tae with love instead. Is that always realistic to human emotions? Probably not. But I give people like JK a ton of credit who can put aside their emotions when someone else needs them.

Also, as a heads up, Take on Me is going to have 3 more chapters and an epilogue. How did we get here so quickly?!