¤ Dancing
Elisa ↲

So I just put my arms around you, around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you, they're on you
And I hope that you won't hurt me

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I double updated today, so make sure you check out Chapter 14 if you haven't already!

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Taehyung was exhausted the following day, having stayed up late talking to Jungkook. Sleep evaded him for the most part afterwards, his mind rampant with thoughts of the younger. But it was all worth it. Knowing Jungkook wasn't laying dead in a ditch somewhere was worth it.

He knew better than to assume the boy was okay. When they were speaking on the phone, it was evident that Jungkook was struggling through something, though what it was Taehyung didn't know. He was tempted to ask what the hell happened several times, but he figured Jungkook would tell him when - and if - he was ready.

He didn't know if that was the right call, but based on his own past experiences, it's what he would have wanted. He just tried to make it painfully clear that Jungkook could trust him if he wanted to talk.

Trust was such a funny concept to Taehyung. He wanted his friends to trust him, Jungkook to trust him. But he had such a difficult time trusting others.

Trust me.

Those two words had been his downfall.

And then he trusted his parents to help him and they let him down. He was ignored. Abandoned. Left to think he somehow invited these bad things into his life.

His parents didn't believe the accusations of an eleven year old - or they just didn't care - so he suffered quietly alone.

After that, he trusted no one.

No one was ever allowed close to him, not unless he knew them before his trauma. He didn't make new friends. He didn't date. He didn't let anyone so much as touch him.

All the things he was expected to experience as a teenager - hugging, kissing, a grope or two - never enticed him. Hell, he could barely touch himself without the urge to throw up. He was ruined and he learned to live with that.

But fuck, after meeting Jungkook, he wished he was whole and shiny and untainted. Never before had he felt the urge to touch or be touched. To trust and to let someone in. He wanted it so badly but he was so damn afraid what would happen. And to ask someone to understand and to live with his brokenness . . . that wasn't fair to anyone.

Especially not to someone like Jungkook, who was whole and shiny and untainted.

But Jungkook was stirring emotions he'd never felt, and he was pretty sure these feelings weren't quite platonic. In the past, he never experienced romantic attraction or sexual desire, convincing him he was asexual or aromantic. It was a fact he lived with for a while now.

And yet there was Jungkook.

This was too much for him to try to understand and process right now, but of course it was all beginning to crash down upon him. Things always happened that way. Life didn't space out it's confusions and challenges into neat little boxes to unpack whenever you were ready. No, it dumped everything down on you like a rainstorm, ready to drown you under its weight.

Thankfully his ringing phone shielded him from any more of these thoughts for the moment.

It was Jungkook.

"Kook, is everything alright?" He asked, a twinge of remaining fear rising up.

"I'm here," the younger responded. A knock sounded at the door for added emphasis.

Taehyung hung up and flung open the door, eyes scanning all over Jungkook's body in search of anything out of place. When he got up to the boy's face, his breath sucked in. He'd never seen him look so tired.

Jungkook's eyes were dull and drooping, heavy bags residing beneath them. His skin lacked color and his hair was out of place. The sight made every bone in Taehyung's body ache.

Jungkook came in and started removing his shoes, setting them and his bag down by the door. "Joon is giving me an hour and a half lunch break."

Taehyung closed the door and wrung his hands together, suddenly uncertain of what to say.

"I'll go get changed," the younger said, beginning to walk down the hall. "Or undressed, I should say."

"Wait," Taehyung grabbed his wrist and held on until Jungkook turned around.

And Taehyung didn't hesitate.

He wrapped his arms around Jungkook's neck, pulling him tight against his chest. One hand threaded through the hair at the younger's nape, gripping firmly to ensure Jungkook was really here. Taehyung's head was resting in the crook of his neck, cheek resting against his slightly damp skin.

A moment later and Jungkook's arms had encircled Taehyung's waist, pressing the elder closer so their bodies were flush against each other's. His breath tickled Taehyung's neck, his lips ghosting over his skin.

This was the first time Taehyung had initiated a hug with someone in ten years.

And even though the skin of his chest was prickling slightly at the contact, it wasn't enough to step away. So instead, he pressed himself closer, feeling a rare security within Jungkook's arms.

His fingers came to cradle the back of the younger's head, his thumb rubbing soothing circles against the soft hair. Jungkook's hands tightened on his waist in response, which made Taehyung's heart beat wildly in his chest.

But that was okay. Jungkook's was beating fast, too.

"You went to Namjoon," Jungkook spoke against his neck, causing a shiver to run down Taehyung's spine.

"I know."

A hand ran up and down Taehyung's back. "You went to Jimin."

The elder's other hand cupped the back of Jungkook's neck. "Yeah. I was going to go to your house today, too, so it's a good thing I heard from you last night."

"You were really that worried?"

Taehyung lifted his head, tilting back so they could look at each other. "I was."

Jungkook's eyes were flitting all over his face, searching for an answer. "Why?"

"Friends worry about each other," the elder said softly. Though he'd never quite worried over his other friends like this.

"Right. That's what friends do," the younger whispered as he stepped back, turning away from Taehyung.

Taehyung already missed the warmth and security from Jungkook's body, even though his skin was thankful for the break in contact.

"I'll go get ready," Jungkook stated as he reached for his bag.

But Taehyung was in no mood to draw a naked Jungkook today. "Just . . . Just sit on the couch. I'll draw you, but you're staying dressed. Let me go get my supplies."

It felt wrong to draw the younger at all given the circumstances, but he supposed a portrait wouldn't hurt. That way he could claim Jungkook was still helping him out and Taehyung could give him the money he needed. He wished he could just give the funds as a gift, but he understood Jungkook's opinion on the matter.

With a pencil and pad of paper in hand, he returned to the living room to get started. When he arrived, however, he was greeted with a sleeping Jungkook.

The boy was sitting upright, legs spread on the floor and an elbow propped up on the edge of the couch. His head was pillowed against his hand, lips slightly parted as he blew air out of his mouth. Jungkook looked so serene and at ease that Taehyung couldn't possibly wake him. So he instead started what he was originally planning to do.

To draw Jungkook.

Taehyung proceeded to spend the next hour sketching out detailed drawings of the sleeping boy. One image consisted purely of the younger's tattooed arm, though he didn't worry too much about getting the details right. Nothing he drew would ever rival the real pieces of artwork on his arm.

One drawing really spoke to him, however. As he appraised it more and more, it slowly shifted into one of his favorite pieces of artwork.

On the paper, captured by the soft strokes of a charcoal pencil, was a beautifully serene Jungkook. The curve of his neck as he leaned his head into a fisted hand; the peek of an exposed collarbone; a defined Adam's apple resting proudly in his throat. Taehyung perfectly drew the shape of Jungkook's mouth, his lips slightly parted. His dark lashes creating shadows against his cheeks.

Taehyung looked back at the living, breathing Jungkook in front of him and finally found the words for what he was feeling. Desire, attraction; two massive waves of emotion he never once experienced before.

"Tae?"

Taehyung shifted his focus, pencil forgotten in his hand as he met Jungkook's sleepy gaze.

"Go back to sleep, Kookie," he replied softly, trying not to disturb the peace of the room. "I'll wake you up when you need to head back."

Jungkook gave him a small smile before letting his eyes fall shut.

There was about twenty minutes before the younger had to return to the construction site, so Taehyung readied a couple snacks to give to the boy. He wasn't sure if Jungkook ever even ate lunch, but he figured packing up a few items wouldn't hurt.

After his art supplies were put away - and his new favorite drawing was set in his desk drawer - he returned to wake up the sleeping boy.

Taking in Jungkook, Taehyung wished he could let the younger rest for a bit longer. If possible, he'd even work in his place just to give Jungkook a reprieve. It was obvious a break was needed.

He just wish he knew from what.

Carefully and slowly, Taehyung approached the younger and leaned down. Their faces were so close again, giving him a chance to marvel at Jungkook's beauty from a closer range.

And as beautiful and handsome as he was like this, Taehyung missed Jungkook's sparkling eyes and welcoming smile.

He shook Jungkook's shoulder gently in order to wake him. The younger didn't stir at the light movements, so Taehyung shook harder.

"Yeah!" Jungkook said, springing forward. His head bumped into Taehyung's, who went sprawling backwards.

But before Taehyung fell on his ass, Jungkook's hands gripped Taehyung's hips to steady him. The place where their heads collided was slightly pounding, and when he touched the spot, he hissed lowly at the stinging pain.

"Fuck, Tae," Jungkook said, hands still glued to the elder's hips. "Are you okay?"

And although the concern in Jungkook's eyes was heartwarming, Taehyung couldn't help but laugh. "I guess there's no waking you gently, is there?"

The younger's lips pulled into a smile. "Apparently not."

"I think you already have a bump growing on your forehead," Taehyung informed him, bending down again to get a closer look.

At his sudden up close and personal inspection, Jungkook's hands gripped Taehyung tighter. Their faces were so close again, but this time, Taehyung was looking into those bright eyes he'd come to adore.

He brought his own hands to Jungkook's shoulders, his thumbs tracing over the skin the boy's tank top didn't cover. "Are you feeling less tired now?"

The younger nodded his head. "Thank you for letting me sleep."

"Anytime. I also packed you some food to take back to work."

Jungkook was now carressing Taehyung's hip bones. "Thank you for taking care of me. You're a good friend."

Friend. That would have been more than enough at one point.

Taehyung leaned in incrementally, testing both Jungkook and himself. He was getting so close, closer and closer until Jungkook was in that personal bubble no one was ever allowed into. But he didn't pull away. Jungkook didn't either.

"Tae?" Jungkook questioned, his voice barely above a whisper.

Everything was quiet around them, blocked out by the little bubble that had become just Jungkook and Taehyung. The room was still, the two boys were still, hell . . . was time still too?

But then Taehyung wasn't still anymore.

Jungkook's eyes widened as Taehyung's head angled to the side, bringing their mouths just centimeters apart. And then the younger's eyes closed.

Taehyung pressed his lips against Jungkook's with the faintest of pressure, letting their mouths ghost over each other's softly and experimentally. The gesture was timid and yielding, nothing heated or aggressive in the slightest. They each took the time to savor the smoothness of the other's lips, to appreciate the effortless sliding of their mouths.

This was the first time Taehyung ever initiated a kiss with someone.

He broke away with his heart trying to claw its way out of his chest and his lungs burning for oxygen. That's right; he forgot to breathe.

"You kissed me," Jungkook stated, tone a bit low and in shock.

Taehyung's nose brushed against the younger's. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Isn't it obvious?" A chuckle pushed past the elder's lips.

Jungkook's hands, which had been holding Taehyung's hips in place, were now roaming up and down his back. "I wasn't sure if you liked boys. I was going to ask you that a couple days ago but I chickened out."

"I'm not sure if I do," Taehyung answered honestly, still confused himself. He'd never liked anyone - male, female, or otherwise. There was a lot he needed to work out.

"Well, newsflash," the younger said, "I'm a boy."

A wide grin spread across Taehyung's mouth, finding the younger's reaction fair, yet comical. "I've never felt attraction to anyone, Jungkook. So I don't know what I like. All I know is that I like you."

Jungkook stood up, hands still on Taehyung's body, so they were at eye level. There was barely any space between their chests and the proximity made the elder's breath hitch again.

"You've never liked anyone before?" The younger asked, no fluctuation to his tone. "Never?"

Taehyung shook his head, struggling to form words with Jungkook pressed against him like this.

"But now?"

"I just kissed you, didn't I?" Taehyung finally spoke, hands shifting to cup the younger's neck. "And I think it's time for you to say what you're feeling. Because I'm slightly freaking out over here."

Jungkook answered, but not verbally. He reconnected their mouths, kissing Taehyung in a way the elder never experienced. It felt like Jungkook was giving him something as opposed to taking.

The younger tightened his arms around Taehyung's waist as he parted his lips, prompting Taehyung to do the same. They softly pulled and pushed agaisnt the other's mouth, talking without ever saying audible words. Their hearts were pounding, a constant presence felt against their chests.

They broke apart in a search for air, keeping their hold tight on each other.

"You have to get back," Taehyung murmured, reluctant to let him go.

"I know."

"Which means you have to let go." Throaty laughs reverberated between them.

Jungkook pressed a kiss against his cheek. "That means you have to let go, too."

"I know."

Finally, they stepped back from each other, shy looks coloring both their faces. Taehyung noted the gentle swelling of the younger's lips and that made his chest swell with pride. He did that.

"I have to go home after work," Jungkook told him as he started to relace his shoes. "But I'll call you later?"

Taehyung retrieved the food he packed for Jungkook and pressed it into his hands. "Okay."

They walked to the door, both unsure how to say goodbye. Something had shifted - obviously - but they weren't sure how much. An awkwardness settled over them, but it wasn't completely unwelcome. It reminded Taehyung of that uncertain excitement he felt when starting a new art class, when trying to draw something he could never master.

It was truly exciting.

And like they were connected mind to mind, they both leaned in for a chaste kiss, sharing that mutual excitement between them.

It took fifteen minutes after Jungkook left for Taehyung to breathe normally again.

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》 V A L E N W R I T I N G 《

I hope this surprise update - and LONG update - was worth it! Again, I hope you guys consider this a big THANK YOU for everything.

And now that I've said that, let me just say AHHHH. They finally kissed 😭

I also love this chapter's song so much - especially all the emotion starting at like 3:55 on.