When Shae knocked on Joon's door and there was no answer, she decided to creep around for the kitchens for a snack after her shower. She was starving.

As she wandered her way back down the hall from the kitchens, she toted an open jar of something green and pickled. The veggies crunched loudly in her mouth and tasted both sour and sweet.

A door opened unexpectedly in her path, almost hitting her in the face. A shirtless man in baggy green sweatpants tumbled out.

"Woah! Sorry, I didn't mean to!" One of Hoseok's hands raked through his scrappy wet red hair.

Embarrassed at the sight of Hobi's fit, bare chest, she gave a heavy swallow of the pickled treat in her mouth. Her voice was a bit shaky yet bright as she answered, "Oh, that's alright! I was kinda lost in my own thoughts."

Shae started to swerve past where he stood, trying to blink the sight of his torso out of her brain, but Hoseok stepped in her way.

"Wait." He started to wring his hands together. "Please wait. I actually wanted to talk to you. To apologize to you properly, Shae."

Shae thought, Note to self: looking at his face makes listening to his actual words much easier.

Shae munched away, her wide blue eyes kind and amused as she looked up at him.

Hoseok couldn't help but think how lovely she looked with her blonde hair a bit clumped and stringy from still being wet, or how the cerulean blue of those oversized silk pajamas brought out the cascade of color in her eyes.

Damn, she looks good in my shirt.

Shae was confused. "Apologize? Whatever for?"

Hoseok cleared his throat. One of his hands played distractedly through his red hair again. "Today, with what happened with you and Joon when I found you. I wanted to apologize."

Shae's pale cheeks flushed, and Hoseok suddenly felt the urge to let his hands swallow up all that color for himself--but that wouldn't be appropriate, he told himself.

Her was voice unsure now, as Shae said, "I'm still not sure what happened with that, but I'm grateful that you arrived when you did. At the very least."

"Did he... was there...?"

Shae's cheeks only grew even more red. "I don't think that it would be appropriate for me to discuss the details of that encounter with you, Jung Hoseok. As well-intended as I'm sure you are."

"O-of course. I only meant--"

"Is he bothering you?"

Hoseok and Shae turned to see Joon approaching. He wore grey baggy sweatpants and nothing else. His white hair fell in shaggy folds around his face.

Shae really didn't know where to look now, between Joon's tanned chest, and Hobi's slightly bronzed one. She shoved another pickled treat into her mouth.

"Did you want something, Hoseok?" Joon asked.

Shae could feel a masculine energy rise between the two of them. It was a little bit scary.

The combat specialist replied, "Yes. I wanted to apologize. You might as well hear this too."

"For what?"

"For what happened with that drug today. I'm the one who ambushed you with it. Not because it was part of any plan. But because I still thought you'd killed Dai Yu. And I wanted you to hurt, Joon. I just... I wanted you to feel the pain of it like I did. But I was wrong to. It was selfish and wrong, and I'm sorry."

Shae gave a small gasp as realization struck her.

Hoseok felt a rush of desperation. He licked his lips and said in a hurried rush, "Please forgive me, Shae. Please forgive me."

Whenever she didn't respond, Hoseok fell down on his knees in the middle of that cold hallway and clasped his hands together.

"Please. I really am so, so sorry."

He pulled his folded hands up to his lips and Shae thought she was certain that this fierce grown man was going to cry. And then she saw the tears at the corners of his eyes.

She felt tears of her own forming, still lost for words.

"You really miss her. Don't you?"

Hoseok's mouth couldn't seem to form words. His face was stricken with his grief.

"I cannot imagine...how hard that must be, Hoseok."

Joon watched this scene unfold, stiff and confused. He'd thought Hoseok was bothering Shae for some other reason. He didn't understand this exchange fully.

Shae slowly, carefully reached out a hand. Her index finger barely brushed at a tear that had started to peel down Hoseok's cheek.

Joon clenched his jaw.

She sounded breathless when she spoke. "I forgive you, Hobi. Thank you for telling me the truth."

"Thank you," Hoseok tilted his forehead down into his hands. "Thank you for your forgiveness."

Shae touched Hoseok on both shoulders as he rested on his knees. A strange hint of blue light warmed through her palms and into his shoulders, and then dissipated.

Hoseok hadn't noticed it happen, but Joon and Shae did. Shae stepped back as Hoseok got to his feet once again.

He gave a slight bow in Shae's direction. Then as he started to speak to Joon, Shae lifted a hand and he stopped.

"Please let me speak with him."

Hoseok nodded, his jaw set and his eyes hard as he looked down at Shae. There's so much kindness in those eyes. How did I ever miss that before?

He gave a heavy sigh, then turned and made his way towards the control room, shoving his hands into the pockets of his green sweatpants.

Joon asked in a dull voice, "What was all that about?"

Shae could see how the darkness had settled into Joon's eyes. She could hear it in his voice. The self-laothing, the bitterness was folding in on him. "Joon, don't do that."

"Do what?"

Shae sighed. "Would you like to know what that was about?"

He nodded.

"Take me to your suite, then. I can't really tell you without showing you, too."

Confused, he obliged, and led the way into his suite.

He'd left most of the lights off, save for a small desk lamp near the bed. Shae set her jar of pickled goods onto that side table as Joon closed the suite door behind them.

A heavy silence fell.

When he turned around, his voice was stern when he asked, "Shae, what are you doing?"

Her blue pajama bottoms were tugged partway down her left side. She flushed, but her voice and eyes were steady. "Look a little closer."

He did. He stepped forward, his breaths barely entering into his lungs.

"May I?" he whispered.

She nodded.

He took the blue fabric in his hands and peeled it down even more, seeing the deep red scratches that had laced across her hip and upper thigh. He swallowed then pulled her bottoms up over her hip again.

Shae proceeded to lift her shirt just enough to show her bottom ribs. She made a slow turn, and there were bruise marks and more scratches there.

She started to shrug her shoulder out of the collar of her oversized blue top, but Joon reached out a hand and stopped her.

"I think I understand well enough."

"It wasn't you though, Joon. It was, but it wasn't. You were some scary other you. The things you did and said...I know they weren't you, and...."

Kim Namjoon spun on his heels and jerked at the door handle of his suite. "I'm going to murder him where he stands."

"WAIT."

Shae pushed herself between Joon and the door. She pushed her hands into his bare chest.

She whispered, "Wait."

Anger and pain cracked his voice. "Don't look at me like that, god dammit."

"Like what?" Shae felt breathless.

"Like you want me. God. Dammit. Just don't."

Shae spread her hands slowly across Joon's bare chest. 

After today...after everything today, I should be terrified of this. I should be shaking, or paralyzed. Well. I am shaking. I can feel it. But it's not because I am afraid.

She leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss into his skin, between her fingers.

"Stop it, Shae." His voice was softer, but still hard.

She pushed her hands into Joon's chest. He was taller, stronger than she was, but he stepped backwards. Then again.

"Stop it."

But she kept pushing him until they were at the edge of his bed. She gave one last gentle push, and he sat.

I must be some kind of crazy after all.

He finally let one of his hands reach out, slowly and carefully, to brush his fingers across her left cheek.

But somehow...I just want to erase that shadow his eyes.

"Why won't you stop?" he asked, his voice barely audible. "After what I have done, Shae. To you today, apparently. To my friends. To so many innocent people. I just can't, Shae, so please stop."

She crawled into his lap and tucked her knees onto the bed, around him. His hands found there way around her hips as hers braced against his shoulders.

She kissed him softly, just barely.

"Why?"

She kissed him again, a touch more earnest. He gave a soft groan. Then he tucked his mouth up against her cheek and his teeth almost played across the skin as he demanded to know, "How far did I go, Shae? Before Hoseok stopped me today, how far did I force you to go?"

"All you did, it's in the marks I showed you. There was nothing further. I evaded you enough. Knocked you in the head at one point, actually." Shae gave an airy laugh. Joon wasn't smiling. "But that was it. Your words were scarier, to be perfectly honest."

"What did I say?"

Echoes of not-himself-Joon's dark words sounded within her, but the more she drew skin-to-skin the more the scary memory seemed momentarily smothered.

"It doesn't matter." Shae let one of her hands trail into the back of his head, where his wet white hairs scattered around her hand. "Just let me stay here, right now, in this space with you. Don't worry about what you said, Joon. What you did or didn't do. Just show me right here the man you really are. Show me."

One of Joon's hands cupped around Shae's face, her jaw, as his lips leaned into her bare neck and kissed her. She left out a soft sigh.

Joon's other hand crept under the folds of her shirt, up her side, her bare back, and his fingers clawed around the curve of her shoulder blade.

In that moment, an echo of his drugged words from earlier resounded through all her sensations, rising up in her like a spectral scream. She needed to drown out the words completely.

"Kiss me again, Kim Namjoon."

Joon's hands moved to Shae's hips, and he pulled her into him. His lips found one of the red lines etched into her neck and he kissed it gently, as Shae caressed his cheek.

He inhaled deeply, the sweet scent of her, and it felt like a beautiful light was spreading inside of all the darkness hanging over him, as Joon gave in and said yes to breathing in every inch of her that he could.

____

Hoseok bounced into the control room, then froze.

"They make quite the pair," he said to himself with a chuckle.

Ava and Yoongi were both still in their separate chairs. Ava as curled to the right with her knees tucked into her chest, her eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Yoongi was turned slightly to the left with his legs sprawled out wide in front of him and his face squished straight into the arm of his chair.

One of them was snoring slightly, but Hobi couldn't tell which.

Hoseok stepped carefully around the glasses on the floor, then started tapping into a fleshy pad propped up near Yoongi's chair.

Coordinantes and a series of data points flashed onto the screen in front of him.

"Well, we're out of trouble and on our way now. Except...."

A small warning flickered onscreen. Hoseok enlarged the text. Then without hesitation he buzzed over the ship's intercom system. "Chimin to the control room, Joon to the control room, ASAP."

The echoing sound made Yoongi and Ava twitch from their seats.

"The fuck, man. I was having a good dream." Yoongi squinted angrily up at where Hobi stood.

Ava rubbed at her eyes with the backs of her hands.

A few minutes later, Joon and Shae raced into the room--Joon still shirtless, and Shae fully dressed in Hobi's cerulean blue silk pajamas. They were hand-in-hand and Hoseok registered that they both looked more flushed than normal. He felt his stomach turn a bit as that struck him more fully.

But that feeling was interrupted, as Chimin bolted into the room followed by Tae and Jungkook.

"What is it, Hobi?" Chimin asked.

Hoseok looked around the room. "Chimin, please tell me you had some kinda evacuation plan lined up."

"Evacuation plan?"

"For Noon Mool. For all of the people there."

Chimin's brow furrowed. "Why?"

"The fortress... it's gone."

Shae reached out to steady Joon. She thought he might topple over. Except, one of his hands reached for hers, laced through her fingers, and held strong.

Chimin cleared his throat. His soft brightness surfaced and his warm smile lit the room. "Weeeell, yes. I did. I gotta confess that getting Joon to turn to our side was the cherry on top of my master plan. I was counting on it. So yeah, I made sure that evacuations were underway just after everyone had left for the Ganche Games. Our diaspora will be scattered among some of our camps, and some of our allies' extra fortress space."

Hoseok looked thunderstruck.

Jungkook raised a fist in the air in triumph, while Tae slapped Chimin on the back in congratulatory praise.

Joon squeezed Shae's hand, and she squeezed back.

Ava and Yoongi just wanted to go the hell back to sleep.

Hoseok asked, "But how did you know Joon would turn?"

The golden haired man looked warmly at Shae. Then at Joon. Chimin's bright, approving smile was his only answer.

Shae leaned shyly into Joon's bare arm, tucking her cheek against it as everyone turned to look at her.

Hoseok adressed Joon directly this time. "Guess this means there's no Noon Mool for you to get back to ruling anyway, Joonie boy. So you're stuck with us."

Tae, Chimin and Shae seemed to be the only ones excited about this prospect. Everyone else exchanged dull looks.

Joon shrugged. "Guess I am."

____

At the sound of the intercom, Lilith tried to push Jin away, but he was enjoying the feeling of his lips on her chest, and the way he could feel her heartbeat racing under him.

"Jin, stop."

"Mmm."

"Don't you think we should go? It could be an emer-" Jin sucked a kiss from her, "-gency."

Then another. "Mm mmm." His hands were enjoying the smoothness of her skin, the notch in her hips and the curve of her thighs too much to care.

"But Jin--"

He stopped. He looked down at her with an annoyed smirk on his face. "They didn't say my name right?"

"No."

"Well then, the devil take them all, because I'm doing just fine right here."

He smirked into Lilith. He shifted.

Lilith giggled slightly as she leaned her face into his bare chest, "Yes. Yes you are."