1929

"Oh, darling, where did you get your bruises from?" The dark haired woman eyes my wounds and red marks, worry mirrored in her eyes. My lips are pressed together and I remain silent, not making a single noise. Avoiding her glance, my hands are digging deeper into my dirty dress to suppress the pain. "Mr Kinney, is the ten year old mute?"

"Oh, no, Miss Hastings. The previous orphanage she was in wasn't quite pleasant towards the children there. She's a bit intimidated, also quiet and shy in general."

"Dear lord, the poor child." Miss Hastings beams the friendliest smile that I have ever seen at a person. Kneeling down to my height, she stretches out her hand. "My name is Helen. It's nice to meet you."

When I don't answer to the gesture and not even a single word slips through my lips, Mr Kinney sighs and pushes me a bit forward. "Come on, Evelyn. You can trust her, she's nice and won't harm you. She's a friend of mine."

The woman seems genuinely kind and I don't spot lies behind her smile. Is it okay to trust someone else? Only after thinking it through, I dare to shake Miss Hastings' hand and murmur quietly my name. "It's Eve."

"I'm glad to welcome you to your new home, Eve. I'm sure we will have a great time together." It sounds like a promising future and for the first time since forever, I feel a glimpse of hope inside my chest. The discomfort slowly shrinks and the two of us enter together the orphanage after the social worker has left.

It doesn't look any less poor here than in the last orphanage but the colors are brighter and the light atmosphere doesn't tighten my heart as much as it usually does. Helen is still holding my hand and she leads me to the common room of the small building. "You don't need to be scared of the other girls, they're wild but really nice. Let me introduce you to them before I show you the bed room where you can rest afterwards if you want, alright? Are you okay with this, Eve?"

"Other kids never like me." I confess and shake my head. "They won't notice me anyway, I'm air."

"Don't say such things. They were looking forward to meeting you. And we don't want to disappoint them, do we? Besides, air is vital." Helen winks and I give in, nodding in surrender. Even though I'd rather let my weakness in interacting with others win, I at least owe Miss Hastings a try.

And for the first time, I don't get mocked. The girls are all nice and laughing, welcoming me and I'm taken aback by their bubbly behavior. Looking with confusion at Helen, she only motions me to go play with the girls with a supporting smile. Hesitantly, I do as she says and although I'm still reluctant and cautious, the other girls don't push me but are rather patient and not bothered at all.

The day passes peacefully and I even almost manage to smile, yet I don't let it fully happen. This place is slowly becoming my home but one person is still missing. My mother. I can't believe that she's gone. Will she really never come back? Sometimes, when I let my hopes get too high, I picture how the door one day opens and the brunette woman enters the orphanage. Instead of the usual cold expression, she sends me a relieved smile and finally allows me to call her mom whilst she embraces me in a tight hug. And all the misunderstandings and lost time of the past few years would vanish and I would return to my real home.

But I know this will not happen. I know that I have to let go of this dream. And although I start to lose my memories of her, I miss her. Or maybe I just miss having a mother. Maybe it'll be easier to move on in this orphanage, especially with someone like Helen. Maybe there is a bright future for me.

"Eve!" Helen's voice calls me awake from my sleep and I rub my eyes, trying to see through the darkness of the night. The other girls are already awake and two of them are even crying. Completely confused, I glance at Miss Hastings and sense that something is wrong. "You and the other girls have to get out of here, now!"

The air is reeking like hell and I use my sleeve to cover my nose, breathing through my mouth. What is this stench? Getting up, I walk to the corridor with the other girls and Helena who's doing her best to calm the crying kids down. "What is this, Miss Hastings?"

"I'll explain later, you girls get out of here! I have to get the janitor. You're leaving and will stay as far away as possible from the house, understood? No protests. Now leave!" She urgently forces us to run and we do as she says while she races down to the basement.

As soon as she's not in my sight anymore and the ten of us meet the cold autumn night breeze outside, a bad feeling settles down in my stomach. A girl whines about the lack of sleep while the two others are still crying in fear, not knowing what to do without Helena and the rest of us remain silent. Instead of empty streets, they are crowded with people from the neighborhood and I hear sirens from the distance. This is not a good sign. And unfortunately, I was right.

In the next moment, the orphanage explodes, glass shatters and rains down and a bright fire burns down the wooden building, shining in the dark night of Brooklyn. Screams echo through the air and black smoke erupts from the damaged house, the light of the fire burning into my eyes but I just stare with widened eyes at the house. Helen.

The girls from the orphanage start crying and pure panic breaks out among the New Yorkers on the street, yet I just stare at the consuming fire. Without wasting a second thought, I walk towards the burning house that was supposed to be my home and can't think of anything else but Helen. She's still there. She's still inside of this house. If nobody helps her, she will die.

My attempt fails though when the building next to the orphanage blows up and I get thrown away by the pressure. The heat bites into my skin and I scream in pain, tears rolling down my face. The smoke makes me cough and I suddenly feel a pair of arms around me, dragging me away. Before I can protest, the person turns me around and I glance at Mr Kinney.

"What are you doing, child?!" He yells but I barely hear him, my ears are still ringing from the explosion. The fire department has arrived and takes care of the whole situation, the ambulance by their side. I'm catching words like 'gas leaks' and 'accident' but I'm not sure if I understood it right because I don't know what that is.

"But... Miss Hastings..." I try to mutter but Mr Kinney understands what or rather who I mean and shakes his head slightly.

"I'm sorry, Evelyn." He only says and analyzes the wound on my right arm. "You've got a burn. Come on, let's get some cold water to cool it down. The others are already gathered."

"It hurts..." I mumble as tears continue rolling down and Mr Kinney carries me to an ambulance, complete chaos surrounding us.

"I know but if you use ice, it'll only get worse. The burn will heal, it's not all that bad." He assures me.

But I wasn't talking about this pain.

2015

"Rosalyn Helen Barnes."

"Huh?" Bucky glances up from his book, he's currently reading The Hunger Games to catch up with the pop culture but also because Clint recommended it to him. I lean back against the couch and look at my right arm. The burn had healed over the time before I even met Bucky and Steve and I had never seen the girls again, we got separated. Mr Kinney made me promise to never talk about this incident again. And I kept it so far. It was only a bad day. I wanted to forget it but somehow it comes up now.

"The name for our dead child. You chose Rosalyn, short Rosie, which I definitely agree to but I'd like to have Helen as a middle name." I only explain and now Bucky frowns, putting the book aside.

"What's wrong, canary?" My husband moves closer towards me and is solemnly focused on my well being right now. Luckily, the other Avengers decided to go watch a movie upstairs.

"I just... Can the middle name be Helen? Please?" I beg him almost desperately and he notices my urgent tone, his grey eyes softening. The topic of children is still sensitive for us, especially since we can't have one, which is why he is probably confused about my sudden suggestion.

"Of course. It's beautiful." He puts his arm around me and I lay my head on his chest, my face burying into it.

"Thank you." I whisper, glad that he said exactly what I needed to hear and I know that I probably owe him an explanation but I can't. I'm eternally grateful for his patience and kindness and that's why, I cannot tell him or anyone else about this incident. I moved on and don't need to revive this memory.

This happened to the Eve that I left behind, the insecure orphan who was cursed with loneliness and bad luck.

It belongs to my dark past.

A/N- Reference to chapter two at Bucky's family dinner, but I'm not sure if anyone knows what I mean haha