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45. Let go

"It's truly ironic, don't you think so?" I groan and glance at the grave stone of the cemetery. "How is it possible that Rebecca died exactly a week before we woke up? If they had found us seven days earlier two months ago, then there would have been the chance that we could've met her. Now the last member of Bucky's family is gone for good."

"Nothing's really been all that simple lately." Steve sighs, referring to the press conference. A month after the alien invasion in Manhattan, SHIELD was bombed with questions about Captain America's and Voltricity's real identities since the heroes died seventy years ago. So far, we are still unknown but it is risky, I'm forced to wear the hood all the time now to hide my face.

"When do you wanna visit Peggy? Don't try to decelerate it, otherwise it's gonna be too late." I remind him and his face tenses up. It took us a while to be emotionally stable for looking after our old friends but after a few weeks, we managed to do it. As expected, almost everyone of them is dead except Peggy. I also read Howard's file. He died on the 16th December, 1991. And it honestly wasn't a big pleasure to read the big, red word 'deceased' on his file. I can't believe that he died through a simple car accident.

"I know. I just... the last time I talked to her was when the plane was about to crash. It's kinda hard." He mumbles and I sigh, placing my hand on his arm to comfort him.

"I'm sorry that I've never asked you about Peggy, how you suffered because you lost her." I apologize for my selfish behavior. He has always taken care of me while I've been too self-centered to return the favor.

"You shouldn't be, you had your reasons. You lost your baby." His words stab me, even though he doesn't mean to hurt me with them. Steve notices the pained expression on my face and nudges me slightly. "I have an idea where we should go now."

"Back to the Stark Tower? They're waiting for us. And I swear, if Tony calls me again just to remind me of the lack of technical knowledge I own, I'm gonna attack him." I mutter half angrily and Steve grins slightly, shaking his head.

"It's another place. Come on." He motions for me to follow him and we put on our disguises again. And with disguises, I mean fake glasses and a hoodie, it's really ridiculous but sadly necessary. With silence, he leads me through the streets of New York to our unknown destination as we drown among the crowd as nobodies. I sort of have adjusted to the futuristic atmosphere but I still have to catch up with a lot. Frowning in confusion, I look around when we arrive at a small alley between a bank and a coffee shop.

"What are we doing here?"

"It took me a while to figure out where it is because they kept renewing every single part of New York since the forties but with Tony's help, I finally found it." He explains with a smile. "This is the alley where we met. Where you first met me and Bucky."

"What... " The word escapes my lips and I look back to the alley. Everything has changed, the wall isn't made of bricks anymore and the dumpsters look different but the memories bring the details from the past back. It's still the same feeling. A little smile appears on my lips. "I still remember how those douchebags bullied you, your tiny version, and I tried to save your ass. In the end, Bucky saved us."

"He always did." Steve's sad face hurts me and I sigh, suddenly taking interest in the Brooklyn ground. No matter how many times he tells me that it's not my fault, I will forever feel guilty about Bucky's death. "You know, we never had a funeral for Bucky."

"Because he was just dead for a week before we left for our last mission. And I don't know how to throw a funeral without the most important person." I shrug and the sorrow in Steve's eyes is replaced with caress, the corners of his lips go up. He takes my hand, squeezing it slightly.

"Today, we are here to honor the death of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. A great son, caring brother and a beloved friend. He was a cocky jerk, but we nonetheless loved him because of the way he was. Loyal, happy and bubbly, sometimes conceited. And if I could wish something, then... then it would be for you to find your peace, pal." He almost chokes on the tears that threaten to come out, but the redemptive smile pulls it down. "Because you deserve it."

I press my lips together, rubbing his back and swallowing. The pain stabs my heart but when he nudges me slightly, I force myself to be strong to say a few words to Bucky. This is the place where it all started. Where I turned into someone. "I... I met you when I was 16. I was insecure and a nothing, basically invisible. But you saw me. You noticed this lonely girl from Brooklyn and you loved her in a way that has forever changed her. And I'll be always grateful for this. I- I'm so sorry that you died." The dog tag remains in my hand, holding onto it as I turn around to Steve. "Please, don't make me do this, Steve."

"I won't." He assures me with a nod. "But you know that you eventually have to let him go. And I'm gonna support you wherever I can. You're my family, Eve. I don't need more."

I smile at his affectionate words as we stand in silence in the Brooklyn alley. I have only him now.

***

"Good evening, Miss Farrell and Mr Rogers. May I take you to the common room on the 84th floor where the Avengers currently are?" JARVIS, Tony's AI, greets us as we enter the elevator. I remember when Steve and I moved into the Stark Tower as permanent guests, I basically had a heart attack when I heard the computer system's voice for the first time. I thought it was the real Jarvis but this one is dead too.

"Hey, JARVIS. And sure." I agree and glance at Steve while we wait for the arrival. "Do you still wanna do anything before we move to Washington? Visit anyone's grave? Maybe Sarah's?"

"No." He shakes his head and sighs, the elevator stops at our desired floor and is about to open the door. "It was enough for today. I just want to rest tonight- "

"SURPRISE, BITCHES!!" Clint's shout makes us flinch and we stare with widened eyes at the floor. The common room is decorated and filled with alcohol and music, a poster with the words  'Goodbye, popsicles' written across it hangs from the ceiling. Clint, Natasha, Bruce and Tony welcome us with confetti and Steve is just frozen in shock, covered with the colorful paper like me.

"What is this supposed to be?" It takes a while until I'm recovered from the surprise, processing whatever this is. Tony takes a sip from his glass where the content is, I assume, scotch.

"It's a farewell party, duh. Since you two traitors are gonna move to the crappiest city in the world, we decided to throw a farewell party and I needed a reason for a party in general, so why not? I wanted to invite the hammer god but I don't know how to reach him. And Brucie didn't allow me to invite others because you two would feel uncomfortable." Tony rolls his eyes while Bruce behind him shoots me a knowing glance, telling me that Tony's not at his best state right now.

"Well... then... uh, thanks?" Steve is not sure what to say and I decide to talk Clint and Natasha to change the topic. It's been a while since I've seen them.

"I thought Fury sent you two on a one-month mission in Budapest?"

"Nah, you're not gonna get rid of us that easily. And thanks to the SHIELD headquarter in D.C., we can always visit you and Steve to go together on missions or to a pub." Clint grins and Natasha smirks teasingly.

"Clint can't go alone on missions, otherwise he's gonna start talking to birds. He's just an attention whore."

"Am not! I never seek attention!" He denies like a little child and I chuckle slightly. Clint seems to be a quite childish and fun guy, almost like Tony but less annoying and arrogant. I hope he has fully recovered from Loki's brainwashing and manipulation.

"You know what I found out today, battery?" Tony narrows his eyes, folding his arms over his chest and Bruce shoots me another warning look. This doesn't sound good. "I just visited Bruce's lab this afternoon, wanted to ask if he wanted have to lunch with me and what did I see? A protocol of my emotional state that belongs to you and him!"

"Dammit, Bruce, I told you not to write it down! I warned you that Tony would find out!" I groan, running my hand through my hair.

"I'm sorry, Eve, but I love noting down things and progress. I'm a scientist." He apologizes shyly and Tony throws his arms furiously in the air.

"Hello?! Am I air or something?? Answer meee!"

"Tony, we are just worried about you and Howard would want me to check on you." I sigh, glancing at him and lowering my voice, so the others wouldn't hear us. "I always hear your panic attacks at night and you still refuse to talk about what happened when you were on the verge of dying."

"Which time? It happened a lot." He avoids the alien invasion with a shrug and his provocation drives me crazy, making me mad.

"Could you stop being so annoyingly ignorant and let people care about you for once?!"

"If you stop being annoyingly annoying!" He barks back, causing me to groan in frustration.

"That doesn't even make sense, you genius!"

"And they're fighting again." Clint comments with a sigh, interrupting our discussion. Even the others have noticed during our time that Tony and I actually argue a lot, maybe more than allies should do. "Darn, I bet on an hour. Who bet on five minutes?"

"That'd be me." Steve shamelessly receives five dollars from Clint and Natasha while I raise a brow in the air, questioning if they seriously bet on such a ridiculous thing like that. "What? I'm the one who has to bear your fights, I should be the one then who knows when you start."

"Wow. If I could get drunk, I'd be it by now." I mutter and sit down on the couch that is way too comfortable and basically lets me sink deep into the furniture. It feels like a marshmallow.

"Hey, come on, guys. It's a rare occasion that we all meet together, so let's enjoy this before Steve and Eve move away." Bruce tries to handle the situation with a calm voice and I smirk a little, nudging him when he sits down next to me.

"Banner's right. After tonight, he's gonna have to endure Stark on his own, so let's do him at least this favor." Clint says teasingly, making everyone laugh but Tony who revolts an indignant "Hey!". The tensed atmosphere eases and we all continue talking about simple, mundane things that don't happen very often to our lives, making ridiculous comments about them. This is how my life works now. These are my people now and even though I manage to smile again, the dog tag around my neck reminds me that there's always gonna be a hole that can't be filled with someone or something else.

***

"So, it's really okay for you to share an apartment again? I mean, you had to bear me in the forties already, if you want your space, just tell me." Steve offers me while he puts down the boxes on the floor of the corridor. We've got more of a small, ordinary apartment in a Washington blockhouse that SHIELD paid for for us, making us ordinary citizens. It's almost odd.

"It wouldn't make sense to live alone since I'd visit you anyway and we are always awake at night." I refer to our insomnia and try to find the key for the apartment in my bag. "Besides that, I'm used to your incapacity of cooking and habit of spreading your sketches and papers."

Before he gets the chance to respond, the door next to us opens and a young, blonde woman steps forward. Our neighbor sends us a pretty smile and her brown eyes reveal a mysterious kindness. "Oh, you must be the new neighbors! Welcome to our blockhouse, I'm Kate."

"Hello, ma'am, I'm Steve and this is my friend Eve." He introduces us awkwardly. When we lived together in Brooklyn, we always avoided the neighbors in my blockhouse because they were unfriendly and distant. Kate seems to be nice though. "I hope for a good and understanding neighborhood."

"So do I! I sadly gotta go to work now but you two are always welcome to my home." She winks and but before she's gone, she turns around. "Oh, and welcome to Washington!"

New century, new people, new city.
What could go possibly wrong?

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