"It doesn't look that bad." Steve glances at the thin, pink line on my palm and bites on his lower lip. It's clear that he still struggles to find the right words and wants to make me feel better. Weeks have passed since the alley incident and I weirdly feel less guilty about what I did. Maybe it's because of the hand kiss and Bucky's words.

"Don't I look totally fierce with the scar?" I grin, lightening up the mood, earning a chuckle from him. He already defended me, he doesn't need to feel uncomfortable too. But at least no wounds are left on his face, making him look like he never got into a fight. Sometimes I really hate this world for being cruel and terrible to people who don't deserve any of this. "Steve, I just want to say that I'm sorry for what happened and hope that you won't think that I'm a monster or anything now."

"I don't." He shakes his head without hesitation, smiling warmly. "You just tried to protect us and actually saved Bucky from any further harms."

"But I didn't even know what I was doing. In fact, I didn't even think, it was like my mind was out of gear. It was impulsive and stupid, I should've handled it better." I sigh and feel how the guilt creeps back in.

"Your feelings for Bucky took control over you, I guess. Your mind was probably focused on saving him, no matter how. It just makes you human that you feel guilty. Besides that, you didn't kill him." His words leave kindness that lets me feel better although I could already flush pink because of the kind of conversation we have right now. It's like girls talk.

"By the way, it's your turn to do the dishes." I nudge him, changing the topic and he groans playfully but smirks in the end.

"Aye, aye, ma'am."

"Morning!" The door flies opened and Bucky enters the apartment, a bright smile is on his lips. "First off, is it really necessary to hide the key under the brick in the wall now? Because I need like five minutes to take it out."

"Yep, it is. As you said, it's not really smart if there's just one brick on the ground." I nod, frowning at the huge bag under his arm. "What's up with the bag? Are you going anywhere?"

"That'd be my second point." His smile widens. "Steve, pack your stuff. Because we're gonna go to the carnival at Rockaway Beach today! I've got us three train tickets for the outward journey, just the three of us having fun and enjoying our free time before we go to art or music school. It's also sort of my way to forget what happened in the alley."

"Wait, really?" Steve's eyes widen in surprise, that idiot is probably also happy to escape the dishes.

"Yes, and now hurry! The train is leaving in twenty minutes and we still need to get there. Don't forget sun screen." Bucky urges and Steve immediately rushes into the bedroom all excited. The brunette turns around and looks at me. "Why so quiet? Not excited, canary?"

"I'm just... surprised." I mutter and glance at my hands nervously. How should I interact with him after the things he said at the hospital? I can't act normal and try not to blush, he would tease me again.

"Don't worry about your hand, sand won't affect the scar at all." He assures me optimistically. "And it's gonna be your first time on the beach, right? C'mon, I bought those tickets to see you smile."

"Alright." I do as he says and am internally grateful for his effort. It just makes me love him more. What have I done right to deserve someone like him?

***

"Bucky! Steve! Look, how huge the sea actually is!" My eyes widen in astonishment at the blue water of the sea and the wind blows through my hair, the smell of the bay salt gives the air a refreshing and unique taste. The wide reach makes me think that the sea will never end, that it would even get in touch with the sky eventually. The sand sticks to my skin and the dying waves touch my feet as I feel the cold water.

"We should've taken her to the beach sooner, she's acting like a child." Bucky fakes whisper to Steve so I can hear him too, chuckling at my behavior. Both of them are standing behind me, watching me since we arrived. "By the way, Eve, can you actually swim?"

"Surprisingly, yes but not really good." I nod and turn around, seeing their surprised expressions. "A girl from the orphanage once shoved me into the lake. That was my first and last lake trip."

"What?! That little- "

"What Bucky means is, why did she do that?" Steve interrupts Bucky's upcoming swearing.

"She couldn't stand me." I shrug and couldn't care less. Yet, in Bucky's eyes is this angry fire again like a ticking grenade and I raise a brow in the air, rather preventing him to be in a bad mood. "Hey, Steve, how about lunch? I'm hungry. Could you get us some hotdogs?"

"I'm on my way." He understands my signals and takes a few nickels to buy us hotdogs, leaving me alone to calm Bucky down.

"You don't need to freak out, James. It's nothing, I didn't really drown. And that's like eight years ago, I don't even remember her name." I turn back to Bucky and sit down on the blanket that we have prepared.

"I don't care how long it's- Wait, did you just call me by my first name?" His eyes widen in bewilderment, I've never seen him that speechless.

"Yep. Thought I should try to find a way to calm you down." I grin and almost chuckle. It's pretty weird to call him that, James is such a serious name while he is bright and bubbly. "I already regret it. I'll never do it again, promise."

"Just my parents call me James. But I hereby give you the permission to use my first name as well." He laughs and sits down next to me, laying down and stretching his arms. I can recognize by his ceasing giggle that he goes back to the actual topic. "I just don't understand how nobody didn't adopt you or at least become friends with you. This orphanage is just full of idiots."

"Like the whole world." I add, staring straightforward at the the waves of the sea. The noise is so peacefully calm and is mixed with the laughter of the playing children. "It's so beautiful here, I still can't believe that I'm here. I always wanted to be on the beach."

"You're welcome." I feel his smirk and eyes on me. "I always wanted to be on the Grand Canyon. It's so huge and dangerous, yet so breath-taking. At least, that's what the pictures look like."

"One day, we'll be there. It sounds amazing." I grin at him, fascinated by his dream. It's the first time that he tells me something about his biggest wishes. "Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear." He smiles back and puts his pinky around mine, pressing it slightly. Then he suddenly grabs my arm and pulls me down to him, my head lands on his muscular stomach. I now lay close to him and try not to blush, although it's pretty hard since I feel how his stomach goes up and down with every breath he takes.

"Why did you do that?" I half chuckle, trying to stay calm.

"Just enjoy the sun, Eve." His hand remains on my arm and a slight prickle spreads over my skin. His voice is weirdly calm, almost hinting sadness which worries me a lot. I look up, seeing that the corner of his lips are down as his grips gets slightly tighter. "Just stay safe like that, do me this favor, yes?"

His words hit me unexpectedly and I realize that he's still scared and the guilt that he almost came too late the other night gnaws at him. He's still filled with concern. I sit up, smiling at him and sucking up the fear that has settled down in my stomach since that night. "Nothing happened. I'm fine because of you."

"But- "

"No buts." I shake my head and widen my arms, referring to the beach. "I appreciate that you made this possible for me. But you don't need to worry about me, it's nothing I can't handle. I don't want to waste my time with regretting or thinking about things that I almost did. We're alive and fine. That's what counts. And those jerks in the alley? They don't drag me down."

Steve comes back with two hotdogs, he probably has already eaten his and he points at the roller coaster after handing us our lunch. "This thing looks pretty scary, even worse if you're closer."

"I want to ride it." Bucky grins while chewing and Steve's face immediately gets pale. "What about you, canary?"

"Never rode one but it looks fun. Count me in." I smile, now both of us shoot Steve a challenging look. The blond knows that we will force him if he won't agree, there are no words needed to explain that. Steve mentally struggles but ends up sighing and groaning.

"Fine, I'll go too."

After the ride, Steve regrets his decision when he starts throwing up. It was pretty fun for Bucky and me, but he isn't feeling well at all. I feel slightly guilty for forcing him into this while Bucky pats his back, supporting him.

"You're alright, pal?"

"I'm fine, thanks." Steve coughs, nodding thankfully at the water bottle that I give him. Drinking a few sips, he looks less pale now. "No more roller coasters. Let's do something slow now. Oh, that ring toss over there looks fun." He points at the stand with the empty bottles and rings, stuffed animals and many more prizes hang there.

"Let's try this!" Bucky drags us to the stand and the determination to win is in his eyes. I slightly smirk and look at the prices, my attention gets caught by the stuffed bear. Children always have teddy bears, even in the orphanage some were lucky enough to get one. I didn't belong to them. "Do you want the stuffed bear, Eve?"

"Huh, what?" I flinch, raising my brows in the air. "Oh, no, no, I was just staring. Nothing else."

"Alright. I'll win it for you." He decides and I quickly shake my head.

"No, it's really not necessary- "

"Excuse me, mister? I'd like to play." Bucky gives the man fifty cent and I just sigh, knowing that he's too stubborn to change his mind now. He gets three rings and takes a deep breath before focusing on the bottles. But when he tosses them, they don't land on the bottles and he groans annoyed. "Come on!"

"Maybe we should go, I mean, paying fifty cents is a lot and we still need to save money for the return fare..." Steve mutters but Bucky stays obstinate.

"No, I need to win this stuffed bear! Sir, I wanna play again!" He demands and pays again as I widen my eyes, stopping him by grabbing his arm.

"Bucky, you don't need to get me a stuffed bear, it's hella expensive!"

"You've never had a stuffed bear, right?" He tilts his head, reading my face and I fall silent. He found it out and I didn't even need to tell him about it. "See? So let me do my best and try to win this for you. I really want to."

Can he please stop being so perfect? Like seriously, it's becoming really hard to ignore my feelings. He's not really perfect at this game though because after four more tries and wasting three bucks in the end, he finally wins the stuffed bear and lets out a shout of joy and glory. Steve and I chuckle at his enthusiastic reaction.

"And? Do you like it?" He grins proudly and hands me the stuffed bear over.

"I love it!" I smile brightly, pressing the bear against my chest. "But you sadly blew three bucks for this teddy bear."

"I don't care, as long as you have the teddy. Now come on, we need to do more!"

And that's how we spend our day with the Ferris wheel, the shooting stand, the carousel, eating cotton candy and a lot more. I have felt a dizzy happiness the whole time, overwhelmed by all the fun and joy we have. The scar doesn't even bother me anymore nor what happened. It's like I live in the here and now, just enjoying life. And I can't thank Bucky enough for that.

"Look, we can take photos there!" I point at the photo booth in the corner when the sun meets the night sky at 7pm. "Come on, let's take a photo. This day is worth to remember!"

"We just have 25 cent left." Steve sighs disappointed, reminding me that we still need a way to go back home.

"Actually, she's right. This day is worth remembering." Bucky agrees with me, smirking. "Come on, let's go!"

The three of us enter the photo booth which is really small, too small for three people but we don't care. I giggle when Steve's shoulder meet mine and my cheeks touch Bucky's shoulder, finding the space in here ridiculously hilarious.

"Okay, one, two... " Bucky counts down, trying to drown out the loud carnival music. Then the noise of the flashlight resounds for several times, catching our smiles and childish laughter. After ten minutes of impatiently waiting, a little four black-white photo row comes out of the machine.

"We look stupid." I chuckle at the goofy smiles on our faces.

"Well, I think I look pretty handsome." Bucky shrugs, smirking and earning a nudge from Steve. He then carefully tears the photos apart, so everyone will own one. "How should we get home now? We don't have any money left."

"We should've rethought it. What if we ask people that look nice if they could take us with them?" Steve suggests.

"As if I'd let some strangers get close to Eve." Bucky just scoffs, shaking his head.

"Look, I know that you... "

I don't listen to their bickering anymore, my attention has been caught by the guy who is currently loading the freezer truck on the street. I narrow my eyes, reading that the license tag belongs to Brooklyn, on the truck is also standing the name of a popular pub of our beloved borough.

"Hey, guys." I cause them to stop bickering and look at me. "I don't know if it'll work... but I have a really crazy idea..."

***

"Secretly hitching a ride in a freezer truck from Queens to Brooklyn? Check." Bucky sarcastically states. "I think I can tick that off my to-do list."

"Shut up, it's a good solution." I defend myself whispering. We are sitting behind some cartons in the back of the truck, at least sneaking in was easier than expected. But it's cold as hell and also damn dark, I can't see anything. "I hope this truck will drive to Brooklyn but it'd make sense."

"If not, we'll land in Kentucky or something." Steve sighs. "You had to waste out our train money for photos."

"Those photos were worth it! If you don't like it, then give me yours back."

"No." He responds childishly and Bucky laughs at our sibling-ish behavior. Just the stuffed bear keeps me warm, placed safely between my arms so I won't lose it in the darkness. I still can't believe that Bucky did everything to win it for me.

"You're crazier and more reckless than I thought, canary." Bucky's voice makes me imagine his grin pretty well.

"Well, if I survived an alley fight, then I must be really insane." I shrug, smirking into the darkness. "But all the best people are."

A/N- That's the last chapter where my babies are young and basically children :') The next chapter will have a time jump