P H O E N I X

For the past sixteen years, my door was a maroon colour. It was only a couple months ago that my mom decided to switch things up. It was spring then. That's when things changed.

My eyes squinted at the brass knob of the door as my hands fumbled around my pockets. I was grateful I hadn't lost my keys this time, otherwise I would have been sitting in the cold like last time. This whole town was cold. Ever since the scandal of the guy who'd caused his sister's untimely death came out. My brother had dated her once. I'd had a crush on the perpetrator.

The lights in the hallway were off but I could make out two silhouettes. Kat sat on the stairs with her fingers gripping the bannister and peering out. Ethan's sleeping form was slumped against her and he was dangerously close to hitting his head on the bannister.

I felt a sharp pain in my temple as I tried to put one foot in front of the other until suddenly the stairs seemed like too much of a challenge. My shoe caught on one of the steps and I slumped down, closing my eyes to see if that would stop the dancing black spots in my vision. I was tired. I always was these days.

The three of us sat there quiet as mice. The squabble from the living room infiltrated our ears. Kat didn't spare me a glance, too fixated on the engravings of the door and what lay behind them.

For the time being, I found that running my fingers through Ethan's hair was almost therapeutic. He'd never have let me do this had he been awake, always swatting away anyone's hand, dare they lay a finger on his beloved locks. But like this, he looked young. His features were soft and unarmed. For now at least.

I heard the click of the door opening and wondered if anyone else had heard. My head was too heavy to lift to see who it was but I knew it was only Matt. He always came home at this time, after having a couple of beers with his friends and whatever else he did.

He took one glance at us and the slightly opened door which our parents were behind. Ethan was the first to go. The warmth from beneath my fingers left as he was carried upstairs, stirring slightly in his sleep.

It didn't take long for him to come back. "Come on." He said gently to Kat telling her to get up and she obeyed. She was different then. We all were.

I counted Matt's footsteps. Eight until he reached the landing. Five more to reach Kat's bedroom. A total of thirteen steps until he came and sat next to me. "You should probably go to bed."

"I'm not sleepy."

"Your room is better than being down here."

I lifted my head to look at him. His brows were furrowed as he stared at the crack in the door. "My room is right above the living room."

He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "It's going to be okay."

I snorted at that but otherwise didn't say anything.

"It won't be like this forever." And he was right because the next day my parents told us they were getting a divorce.

-

I walked into school looking like a zombie. Having overslept I'd rushed to pull my clothes on but then realised I was going to be late either way and slowed down. I still looked like shit.

Since my mom had taken the car this morning, it took extra long to get in.
Times like this were a good enough argument to persuade my mom into giving me a pair of wheels and I made a mental note in my head to mention it to her at our next family meeting.

When I went downstairs I saw Kat eating a bowl of cereal. Her figure was shrouded in a large bathrobe and her nose dusted in a pale pink. Every now and then a raspy cough escaped her throat, more often not veiled by her palm.

"You're going to be late." She said through a mouthful of oatmeal.

"Did it never occur to you to come wake me up?"

"I just got out of bed now and besides," she shrugged, taking another spoonful, "I thought you'd already left."

I decided to make toast. There was no butter so I had to make do with having it plain. "Mom says she's going to be late tonight. Again."

She had been a lot this past week. We had the same idea. Keep ourselves busy for as long as possible.

I drummed my fingers mindlessly on the counter, setting my goal for the day. I'd get through the whole day, in class, maybe even go to track tryouts and see if it was worth joining. Something else to take my mind off things.

"Has Matt already--" I caught myself before I finished the sentence.

Kat stopped eating and pushed away from the island. "Matt's fucking dead, Phee."

I didn't say anything about her use of vulgar language. Instead, I turned my back to her muttering a quiet, "I know."

Once my toast was ready I grabbed the pieces, along with my bag and keys. "Tell mom I'm staying back after school."

I didn't wait for her response because I was already out of the door with my slip up still hanging on my mind. It won't happen again, I promised to myself.

Half an hour later, I finally made it to school. The receptionist, who'd begun her job a couple days ago and whose name I couldn't remember glanced at me once before turning back to her computer. "Phoenix? I think there have been some changes to your timetable. Hold on, let me go check."

I frowned at her retreating back. My morning had already started off foul and waiting around here wasn't helping lighten my mood. I'd hoped to slip into class and put my head down but instead I got this. My fingers came up to massage my shoulder. It had begun to ache from the awkward position I'd slept in.

The receptionist hadn't come out yet so I decided to take a seat on the chairs. If I was going to wait then I might as well be comfortable. But then the school chairs were as comfortable as a bed of nails. The stiffness didn't do much to cushion my back.

Just then the door to the principal's office opened. She walked out followed by the same guy I'd seen at the Blitz yesterday. For a second his eyes connected with mine. I swallowed and looked away.

That didn't stop me from overhearing what they were saying. From the corner of my eye I saw them stop and exchange words with another teacher. Whilst he was distracted, I decided to inconspicuously check his profile. He was tall, radiating an aura of intimidation. A strong jawline and with the built but still lean physique he obtained, it was apparent he worked out. This wasn't a guy you messed with.

"Principal Vandenhoff, with all due respect, I really don't--" The guy began to say but was cut off.

"You're in good hands, Mr. Mordecai." She reassured. "Welcome back."

Welcome back? What the hell did that mean? I didn't get the chance to find out because they'd already pushed past the double doors and out of hearing distance.

"Here we go." The receptionist chose that moment to return, handing me a slip of paper. There was an out of place look of sympathy on her face too.

I ignored it, quickly scanning over my classes before shoving the timetable into my bag. I'd most likely not even go to half of them. But then I remembered the goal I'd set for myself this morning. The least I could do was try.

-

I had study hall third period. But unlike the name suggested the seniors did anything but study. It was like we'd all been transported back to elementary school where we made paper planes and crumpled up our chewing gum in wrappers to throw at others.

"Gross." Elsa made a face as one landed on her lap.

"Free gum." I said.

She flicked it away. "Gum that's been chewed and lathered with someone's saliva."

"Isn't that the same as kissing?" Jay looked up from his guitar to raise an enquiring eyebrow at her. "Where's Connor by the way?"

"Probably skiving." She shrugged.

"Now who does that remind me of." He not so discreetly looked at me but I ignored him until he turned back to Elsa. "Don't you wonder what your boyfriend gets up to when he's not around?"

"Of course, you would know what boys get up to in their spare time." She wiggled her brows as he made a face.

"I regret I ever asked."

"That's what I thought." She grinned triumphantly.

"Whatever. Listen to this." He played a short piece on his guitar, waiting for our approval.

When neither of us said anything he sighed in exasperation. "It's terrible."

"No. . ."

"What? That was beautiful!"

"You guys don't need to lie. I can take constructive criticism."

"You just need a little time to get the hang of it."

"You're right. I should try harder." I was proud of Jay for a moment there. He was the sort of the person who moved on quickly, always wanting to try new things. This new hobby of music was spontaneous and by far the longest he'd ever stuck with something. "Whatcha working on?"

"I don't know." I blew out a breath, turning to my laptop screen. For the past ten minutes, I'd moved the tracks around, experimenting with the sounds I had.

"Can I listen?" Elsa asked.

I gave her my headphones. "I feel like it's missing something."

She moved her body along with the beat. I smiled. "How about a snare drum?"

"You think?"

"Uhuh. It could go. . . here." She pointed out a point on the track, humming gently.

"That could work." I muttered to myself and put down a marker on the spot her nail had been a second ago.

"Hey, have you seen the new guy?"

I looked up from my screen at what she was head gesturing at. He sat alone on a sofa cushion, casually leaning back with a book in his hand.

"I saw him yesterday at the Blitz."

"Lucky you." She raised her brows in a suggestive manner. "Why do you think he's here in the middle of the semester?"

"I heard he killed someone." Jay put his guitar down, joining the conversation. But then his face fell when he realised what he said. "Shit, sorry."

"It's cool." I waved it off. Ever since the accident, anywhere where there was anything related to death and me seemed to make other people jittery. They trod on broken glass whenever the topic was brought up so I decided to divert the attention away from that. "I heard he got busted for marijuana."

"Let's go find out."

Jay frowned at her. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"What happened to giving people the benefit of the doubt, Jason?" She scolded before turning to me.

"I don't like people."

She rolled her eyes. "You're so gloom and doom. This will be good for you. Come on."

"Elsa--" I didn't get any further than that because she pulled me up by my hand and practically dragged me over to where he was. It wasn't a feat that bode well for me. To put it simply, Elsa was a social butterfly. I wasn't.

The guy looked up when a shadow fell across the page he was reading.

"You're new here, aren't you?"

He scrutinised Elsa and turned towards me, slowly nodding. Now that we were at a closer distance I could see how his hair lay in a casual mess on top of his head, having had a hand too many run through them. His intense grey eyes regarded us with nothing since they remained impassive. Like everything else with this guy.

"I'm Elsa. This is Phoenix."

"We met." His gaze lingered on me a second longer making me slightly more uncomfortable than I already was before turning back to Elsa. "I'm Kaden."

I stiffened at the name but otherwise didn't say anything. Elsa continued her interrogation. "What brings you to Stonecrest?"

"My dad got a new job."

"Interesting." She shot me a sideways glance as if to say 'see, he's not a murdering, drug dealing psycho'. I glared back at her.

"Are you like, Elsa from Frozen?" There was an inkling that he was mocking her but you couldn't really tell.

Now it was my turn to smirk as her features conformed to that of mild irritation. "Unfortunately no. I was born before the film came out."

"Makes sense." His shoulders raised upwards slightly and slumped down again. The book on his lap was open, signalling the end of the conversation but Elsa didn't get the message.

"How'd you like the school so far?"

"I'd like it better if I could read my book in peace."

"Study hall isn't the place." She grinned, knowing full well what he was implying yet still chose to ignore it.

"I figured." He said dryly.

"You should try the library." I didn't know it was me who'd said that until the words left my mouth.

His eyes shifted to me. I looked away to avoid his gaze. My own eyes wandered over to where we'd left Jay. He wasn't alone.

She was thinner than the last time I'd seen her. Blonde hair that I'd once braided was tied up in a ponytail, revealing the tiredness around her eyes. They were a mix of cerulean and pity when they fell on me. An intense staring competition began between us.

She was still in her cheerleader outfit, probably having finished practice. It didn't end there. "You and Miss Cheer over there are matching." I turned back to the guy, gesturing towards his arm.

"Phee." Elsa warned.

"What." I snapped without intending to. "I'm just making conversation."

"Yeah, and this probably isn't the right way to go about it."

"You're the one who dragged me here." I pointed out and returned my attention to the guy. He remained silent, eyes looking past me at the girl who also had a cast wrapped around her arm.

"What's her story?" He asked.

Elsa shot me a worried glance but chose not to say anything. "Car accident."

For a split second, there was the briefest flicker of something across his features. But it was gone as quick as it came. "Sucks."

I was about to ask what his story was, the words dangling from the tip of my tongue when Elsa got there before me. "You must miss your friends from. . ."

He sighed. "Sydney."

"Right, from there."

"I don't miss them."

"Considering you had any." Elsa said under her breath but he still heard, raising an amused brow. She laughed, playing it off. "I take it you aren't much of a people person."

"You noticed." He deadpanned.

"You and Phee would get right on."

"Hmm?" For a moment I was distracted by Jay making mad head gestures, trying to discreetly tell me to come over and failing. After debating about it for a few seconds longer I decided to end his misery. "Excuse me." I said to the pair and pushed off the table I was leaning on.

When Jay saw that I was making my way towards them, his whole face lit up. He said something to his companion but I never saw what happened next because I turned left, straight out of the doors of study hall.

My arms came around to hug my body as I kept on walking. I'd managed to make it halfway into the day which was more than the other days this week. Maybe I could fake being sick. I felt sick. Kat would keep me company at home.

I didn't see which direction I was headed in until a figure stepped into my path. "Whoa, hold up speedy gonzales."

"Get out of the way."

"What's wrong?" He made a move towards me but I stepped back.

"It doesn't concern you."

"Well, can I at least make it better?"

I looked up at the playful smile his lips curved into. A couple of days ago I'd felt what they were like with my own. Felt his fingertips dance on my spine and his body mould against mine. I could feel my resolve to keep the one night stand just that, slowly melt away.

One of his hands came up to cup my face as he slowly backed me up against the row of lockers. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"We shouldn't." He agreed with a grin. "Not here." I bit my lip. Luckily I was saved by the bell.

"Maybe another day." He took several steps back as the hallways began to fill up. Even as he disappeared into the crowd, I still felt his lingering touch and a heart that beat way too fast.