P H O E N I X

Monday mornings were always the worst. I loathed them with a passion but surprisingly today I'd rolled out of bed not feeling like I wanted to shoot the sun out of the sky.

I took my time whilst showering and getting dressed with a renewed feeling of freshness. It was an odd change in mood but one that I was grateful for since the last couple of days hadn't been that amazing. Especially after the quarrel I had with my dad. I wondered how long it would take my mom to bring it up and she did that day, just as I was about to sneak past her.

"Phee? Could you come here for a moment." It wasn't a question.

Sighing, I passed the threshold to find her sat on a stool beside the island with various papers scattered all around her. Her pen darted everywhere as she jotted down stuff with the other furiously typing into a calculator. She looked tired.

After a few more clicks she looked up. "I wanted to talk about your father."

"I'd rather not." I muttered but I didn't know whether she heard or just decided to ignore my comment.

After yesterday's therapy session, my feelings towards my father remained unchanged. Even after Dr Meyer had offered alternatives and psychoanalysed me, I still wouldn't budge from my original thoughts. And the last thing I wanted to do was talk about him again.

"He told me what happened and I understand why you did it," She said. "But you shouldn't have said those things to your father."

At that moment I felt like what it was like to be in Kat's shoes. The disbelief she must have felt when I did the very same thing that my mother was doing right now. "Why are you defending him?"

For a second I saw my mom speechless. Her mouth opened and closed again. "The point I'm trying to get across is that you shouldn't have been so harsh on him. He only wanted to talk about college arrangements with you."

"What?"

"That's the reason he came down. He was going to offer you his place to stay so you wouldn't have to pay extra for accommodation on campus."

Now it was my turn to be speechless. Though that was short lived and I soon came back to reality. "You can tell him my answer is no thanks."

She sighed in resignation and tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. "It would save a lot of money."

"Don't you care about what he did? Or what he didn't do?" I accused. She didn't want to talk about it as much as he did. Matt's death had become an almost taboo topic these days.

Another sigh. "I care about you. Both of us do and we want what's best for you."

I closed my eyes briefly and bit my lip before opening them again. This time I gave a more pragmatic response. "I still don't know if I've been accepted or not so he shouldn't hold his breath."

That answer seemed to satisfy my mom and she nodded. "You better get to school."

And that's how a good day turns bad.

-

As it turned out, my bike tyres were flat and the air pump had gone suspiciously missing, so I had no choice but to walk that day. It was long but I ended up enjoying the peace that came out of it. Since Kat wasn't there to fill in the silence with her chatter, I had time to think about the events of the last couple of days.

Was I being too harsh on my dad? He wasn't there when Matt died that when he just turned up on the doorstep like that, without any explanation, it made me want to slam the door in his face a hundred times more. Maybe my anger was irrational, maybe even petty, but it showed that I least had some care. My mom especially, seemed so unsympathetic to the topic that it was hard to remember a time when she wasn't so. I replayed our conversation over and over again in my head till I went dizzy.

All throughout my morning classes, I couldn't focus. Instead, I stared aimlessly out the window and multiple times I'd been caught in the act from my teachers. My English teacher even pulled me aside after everyone had left the class to ask if there was anything on my mind but I brushed it off, claiming to not have gained sufficient sleep.

My head was stuck in the clouds that I didn't even hear when someone called my name. Only when he was standing right beside me did I look up and see Callum.

"Come with me, please." He said curtly. I frowned, closing my locker but followed him out nonetheless, feeling a few stares on the way.

Once we were out of earshot I focused my attention back onto him. He was dressed in smart casual wear and could have passed as any one of the teachers in the school but I knew underneath his jacket was his badge and a holster for his gun.

"What are these things I'm hearing about you and me being an item?" He dove straight in.

"They're just rumours." I brushed off.

"They must have come from somewhere. Have you--"

I cut him off before he could get any further, feeling more than slightly offended. "No. I would never do something like that."

"Phoenix, if you're being bullied--"

"I'm not. It's just stupid high school drama. These things blow over."

A silence hung over us as the information sunk in and I saw something begin to transform before my eyes. Callum shifted from his hard cop exterior to someone more familiar. To someone I'd considered as a friend a few years ago. "I'm sorry. You've probably got a lot on your plate and it was meaningless for me to bring this up."

I nodded to show I understood, for lack of any words.

"If there's anything you need, you know you can just ask, right?"

"Well, I'd like my license back for one." I tried.

He chuckled. "I don't make the rules, just enforce them."

"Worth a shot."

"But really. I'm here, even if it's just to talk about Matt or. . . anything. Within reason."

For a second there, I felt a flash of my former feelings for the man before me. A birthday party and short kiss later reminded me that we were better off as just friends. Since then the last bit had disintegrated but I now saw it might not be all bad to rekindle with an old flame.

"I've kept you for too long. You should get to class." He said, already drawing away but turned around one more time. "I was meant to pass on this message. Coach wants to see you in his office."

"Now?"

He nodded. "Try to stay out of trouble, Phee." Though he was serious, he said it with a slight smile.

"Me? Trouble?"

"See you later." He chuckled and turned on his heel.

I watched his retreating back for a moment before heading towards Coach's office. It was situated next to the boy's locker room and as I approached the doors, I noticed someone else waiting outside.

Chloe looked up as I inched closer, dressed in her cheerleader outfit. I stopped on the other side of the door so we were facing each other. She offered me a weak smile which looked conflicted. So I made the decision for her and said, "Hi."

She merely gave a short nod in response and I sighed. The last time I'd talked to her was when I'd inadvertently told her that she'd killed Matt. Just thinking about it made me want to take it all back and I knew I should have apologised but I stayed quiet.

I fiddled with the headphones looped around my neck, letting the awkward silence drag on. It wasn't always like this. Some days Chloe and I could talk for days on end without stopping. Now our conversations weren't even considered as conversations but an uncomfortable exchange of maybe one or two words.

I thought about Matt and how he wouldn't have wanted things to be like this so I dropped my hands and pushed aside my pride. After all my failed relationships maybe there was still time to save this one. "About the other day, I'm--"

My words cut off as a series of loud yells came from inside the locker room. I glanced at Chloe and she had the same quizzical expression on her face. The yelling got louder until they morphed into chants. We both stayed where we were, listening.

It didn't take long for the shouting to die down only to be replaced with Coach's booming voice. There was silence after that and a second later he came from the locker room followed by Jay and a smirking Hampton.

He stopped when he noticed Chloe, who shot me a concerned look but addressed Coach. "It's a message from Miss May about arrangements for the pitch next week." She handed him a sheet of paper which he took.

"Right. And you." He turned to me, just now noticing I was there. "My office."

Joining the other two boys I followed him next door. I tried to catch Jay's eye but he was too distracted. I noticed then that his lip was cut. Hampton snickered from behind. "Trouble in paradise?"

Jay shot daggers at him, about to open his mouth and say something but Coach got there first. "Not another word from you, Hampton. Unless you want to clean up the field with your hands."

That shut him up.

Coach grabbed a pen and wrote something down on the sheet Chloe gave him while we all waited there like idiots. When he was done he turned to the boys first. "For the next month, you're both on equipment duty. If I so much as here another peep from either of you, it's straight to the principle's office. Am I understood?"

"Yes, sir." They both grumbled out. I was curious as to know what had happened.

"Good. Now get to work." He dismissed them from his office before turning to me. "I trust you know why you're here." My blank face was answer enough. He sighed. "I want to know why you haven't been attending practice."

I opened my mouth then closed it again, making me feel even more stupid.

"If you're not committed then I'll have no choice but to cut you from the team." He said seriously. "Unless of course, that's what you want."

"No." I said quickly. "I want to be a part of the team."

"Then you're going to have to demonstrate that to me in the next coming weeks."

"I will." I said with certainty. "I promise."

"I sincerely hope you do." His tone softened a little. "I understand these past few months have been difficult for you and I appreciate that. Your brother was an asset to this school and the team and I've seen what you can do. I know you won't let me down."

Before I could reply, there was a knock on the door and Kaden came in.

"But just in case you lack motivation, I've constructed a buddy system. You'll be paired with Kaden for the first week and if all goes well then you'll rotate as they come." He addressed Kaden as well. "You have to remember you're not just training as an individual but as a team."

He waited for a moment after his mini pep talk and a couple of seconds passed before we both blurted out, "Yes, sir."

"Great." He said, clapping his hands enthusiastically and dismissed us.

Kaden shut the door with a quizzical expression. "What do we do again?"

"No idea." I shrugged. "Just be my buddy."

"Right." He drawled out.

"So. . . what happened in the locker room?" He shot me an amused look which made me get flustered when it shouldn't have. "I meant with Jay and Hampton."

"Well, Hampton was being annoying as usual and Jay got pissed."

"That doesn't sound like him." I knew Jay was better than to get riled up over a senseless comment. Especially one coming from Hampton.

Kaden shrugged. "He seemed really mad that time."

"Do you know why?"

His gaze flickered to me for the slightest second before turning blank once more. "No idea."

And for some reason, I got the feeling he was lying.