*told from Alexa's perspective*
"I have an amazing idea!" Julia announces while we're walking home from the theatre. "Let's not go home."

"Wow, you could win many awards with that one, Jul." I tease. "But, you're right. I don't really feel like going home."

Both Julia and I stop walking so we can figure out where to go.

"Well I do. Sayonara, bitches!" Luke yells as he continues to walk home.

"And then there were two." I muse.

"Alright, let's put our heads together and come up with something fun to do and/or somewhere fun to go." Jul says before sitting on the sidewalk crisis cross applesauce style and attempting to pose like The Thinker.

"Let's go to hell!" I exclaim.

"Yes!" Jul screams.

"Come on, let's go grab a golf cart from the warehouse." I motion for her to come with me.

There's a warehouse filled to the brim with stuff that Jul and I can't fit into the house. The golf cart which sits smack dab in the middle of the warehouse, cages for capturing troublesome demons and the like, a few coffins, some ghost and demon trapping equipment, and a few dozen statues. Why do we have so many statues? That's a good question. Most of them are artifacts from Ancient Rome, Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt, you get the picture. Come to think of it, all the larger artifacts are in here. The Rosetta Stone, for example. Just kidding. We've only got some crappy vases.

"I call shotgun!" Jul yells as she sprints to the golf cart.

"Alright. I don't quite trust your driving skills anyways." I agree as I hop into the golf cart.

"I can drive just fine!" Jul says defensively.

"Neither of us can drive an actual car very well. But your golf cart driving skills are useless." I reply. I actually like driving the golf cart, while Jul prefers to sit in the passenger seat and look out the window.

"Let's drive!" Jul says.

We zoom off to the portal, which is on the far side of town. However, while we cruise through the streets Jul sees Rod, her crush.

"Can he come too?" Jul begs.

"No." I say.

"Pleaseeeeeeeeee?" Jul would be groveling at my feet if we weren't in a moving vehicle.

I sigh."Fine. If he gets freaked out or a gorgon chooses to keep him in hell as a trophy husband it's on you."

Jul rejoices as I pull over.

"Hey Rod!" I yell, knowing I can't trust Julia to do the talking in this situation. "Hop on."

Being an absolute idiot he complies, first attempting on cramming himself into the front with Jul and I then settling for the backseat.

"Where are we going?" Rod asks.

"Shouldn't you have asked that before you hopped into the car with two people you hardly know?" I inquire.

"This is a golf cart." Rod says stupidly.

"Nevertheless it is a moving vehicle. We could have guns." I respond. Actually, we have a bag filled with weapons under the seat.

"Nah, Julia is too sweet to do any of that stuff." Rod assures himself, dreamily gazing at Jul.

"Sure, sure." I say sarcastically.

"Where are we going?" Rod repeats.

"Hell." Jul answers.

"Haha, very funny." Rod replies.

"That's really where we're going." I state.

"Seriously?" Rod inquires.

"You don't catch on fast, do you?" I ask.

"Let me off." Rod commands.

"No can do, sugar tits!" I yell.

"Fine. Lexa, let Rod off." Julia says, disappointed.

"Alright. But before you leave, will you go out with Julia? She's too much of a chicken to ask you out." I say.

"Um, sure." Rod responds before hopping off. "I'll see you two later."

"I AM NOT A CHICKEN I AM A PEACOCK!" Julia yells after we've driven far enough to be out of Rod's earshot.

"Boo hoo, I just bargained you a boyfriend. You haven't bargained jack!" I reply.

Jul sighs and we ride the rest of the way in silence, mainly because the farm spirits get cranky when you talk near them. Yeah, there's a lot of country land around here. A few farm spirits migrated up here during the Harlem Renaissance, even though there aren't and couldn't be any farms here. The portal is located in a barn a little bit outside of town. It's just a regular barn other than the satanic symbol in the middle that can be used to transport people and other objects to hell. You know, hay all around, empty stables, that kind of thing. Jul and I don't come here often, but I come here sometimes during the fall and spring to think and write, and to meet up with friends.

"Let's go!" Jul exclaims as she sprints into the barn.

We stand on opposite sides of the satanic symbol and I say the incantation. "Ineamus Satanici regni et serviamus diis wosh intrare."

Suddenly, the ground opens up and swallows us up. Julia and I are slowly sliding down a glass tunnel, which gives us a magnificent view of the dead souls headed to the underworld. Hell isn't like how you typically picture hell. Actually, it's just the underworld. There's a place for ambivalent, good, and bad souls. And the tourist trap. And the worker residencies. And the offices. Jul and I have an apartment in the area designated for worker residencies. We don't go too often, but it's a fun get away. The tourist trap is super cheesy, and we never go there. Even on the few occasions when we've brought a friend who wanted to go, we just let them run amok while we had a nice cup of tea with Osiris, Chike, Eli, and Hades. Yeah, they all exist. Eli is more punishment, you can think of him as Satan. Osiris does most of the judgment with the whole feather of truth thing, Hades is an overseer, and Chike is on the heavenly side of things. You can think of him as the Christian God. Those are the big four, but Hermes and Anubis, who are both connected to the underworld in their mythologies, are here often as well. The thought that heaven is up and hell is down is simply false. Both a place for those who are "good" and "bad" exist, but both are is the underworld, where we are now. All religions are right in one way or another.

Suddenly we hear a tiny thud. Rod has just fallen down the shaft after us, looking for Jul.

"What are you doing here?" A guard gruffly asks.

"I was looking for a girl-"Rod begins to explain his purpose.

"I don't wanna hear it, lover boy. You're comin to see Eli." The guard, Larry, who probably thinks that another Orpheus situation is going to happen, replies.

"Jul!" Rod yells.

Julia turns to me. "He came for me!" She exclaims dreamily. For a moment I think she might faint.

I roll my eyes. "Like you need anyone to come for you. Let's go save your idiot boyfriend." I run up to the guard. "He's with us, Larry."

"Oh, sorry Lex. Is he Jul's new beau?" Larry unhands Rod, flashing an insinuating smile.

"He sure is. As of a few minutes ago, actually. It's like they're already married." I reply sarcastically.

"See ya Lex. Tell Jul I said hi." Larry turns to walk away but glances back. "And could you ask Eli to take me off night duty? My wife and kids have been missing me for months."

"Sure thing, Larry. I'll try to sneak a pay raise in there too." I agree as I usher Rod away.

"You came for me!" Jul exclaims as she embraces Rod.

"Well, I saw you two get sucked into that pit and I thought you might be in trouble." Rod explains.

"Rest assured, there's no trouble here. And even if we were in danger, you would certainly not be an effective night in shining armor." I jump into the conversation.

"Lex and I were just checking in to see if everything is going well here, and since it seems to be we'll be on our way." Jul begins heading towards the exit.

"I thought we were going to talk to Eli. I promised Larry that I'd talk to Eli for him about his hours." I retort.

Jul sighs, clearly wanting to keep Rod separate from this part of her life. "Fine. Rod, welcome to hell."