Sauron's Eternal Eye News Network (SEE NN)

Conquering the world, laying waste to all those in his way. That is just the foundation. Making a truly evil killing involves reaping the advertising revenue of a controlled market.

Currently, the network is watched by just a few. That will change when Sauron fully rules.

"Today on the J'Airy Splainer Show. Survivors of the Puddletown attack by Smaug face dragons (the Noble Reptile Association) to discuss limits on fire power."

A small group of nervous humans and a small group of very attractively armored female dwarves sit alongside three massive dragons.

J'Airy (host of the show, a pale thin wyvern): "On Today's show, we will look back at the deadly events of some years ago in Puddletown."

Humans: "We only wanted to live and took to the water as a haven. It did not help."

Dwarves: "We were victims of home invasion. Authorities were of no help."

One dragon: "Lives were lost. On both sides."

Another dragon: "Honestly, it was an incredible attractive seduction. All that gold. The dwarves had to realize the message they were sending."

The dwarves realize they have been tricked. Especially the part where they were encouraged to wear shiny gold trimmed armor to this show. They run out as fast as they can. To most they are a blur. To the keen eyesight of the dragons they flee in a long reel.

The other dragon admires the seductive glint of gold, whispering: "Hmm Yes, they know how to work it."

The largest dragon and the first dragon push him back behind and whisper: "Not here. The time's up movement is watching."

Humans: "Given the tragedies, we need to limit fire power."

The other dragon grows the throat a bit and a red glow builds there. The largest dragon pushes him behind, and stands to block the view of the other two dragons.

"We of the Noble Reptile Association understand your fears. We also want to make sure that our rights to breathe fully and freely are not impinged."

J'Airy Splainer: "We are going come back, after a word from our sponsers."

During the break the large dragon thinks this is a bit too much drama. He will go to Adderson Cooper Show next. Adderson Cooper is a descendent of water wyverns. He and his mother resemble the fae folk. There is no reason to think Adderson will be kind. He holds views much like the elves (world peace, harmony, niceness). Adderson Cooper will ask tough questions. I will answer calmly. This will result in much talk. So long as nothing changes, I will keep getting large consulting fees.

The show is interrupted by breaking news. There is an announcement from Mordor.

A large female Balrog steps forward to address a seated crowd of investigating heralds. She wears a sleek skirt to the knees with a matching open jacket. Balrogs are known to often be smoking. Her dress style is very good (she thinks of herself as smok'n).

In a clear feminine voice, she says

"We are here today to announce a matter of interest to all Mordor.

A collection of protestors are making their way to Mordor's immigration gates.

We feel some of these might be combatants. So as always 'See something, Scorch something!' "

A herald: "These protestors appear to be from areas where Mordor launched military campaigns. We never did get a clear answer on how so many non-combatants were involved. There were certainly a large number of women and children in the masses that fled."

Balrog: "These military actions were planned against groups that are against the Mordor way of life. We feel they are participants."

Herald: "If the issue were so clear, why is that no other group joined us? Not even the dragons?"

Balrog: "The other nations have their own ways. We are not like them and must protect Mordor from those that would tear down all the good things here.

On a final note, you all know how Sauron likes complete sets of things. The heads of those that oppose him, all the world, etc. He is one ring away from a complete set. Be sure to look for it. We all know how he can become despondent when sets are broken.

Ok. Bye."

The heralds find themselves carried away by Nazgul with flying mounts. They are dropped in their town centers.

The Nazguls circle overhead.

The heralds all read the same message "We live in an age where false heraldry is undermining good behavior. It is a problem. False heraldry is a threat to the very way of life in Mordor."

The Nazguls fly off.

One herald is quite despondent. They all had employment contracts. He really wanted to complain. Most contracts would demand a review by an arbitration counsel. These contracts call for a review by a counsel of arrbiters.

Arrbiters are large spiders that wind you up in thick sticky coils. Droning on endlessly until they get hungry. They're called Arr-Biters for a reason.

The next day, the eye of Sauron is gone.

The heralds are back with the balrog in a briefing.

"So, the ring that Sauron wanted was destroyed. He is spending time alone right now. "

Herald: "You failed to make clear that the protest group included a special investigator from the Wizard's Council."

Balrog: "Investigatorial over reach. Sauron can pardon himself by deific decree. Ohh. Forget it. I am done. Time for someone else to do this."

The balrog pulls out a large manuscript of her book from her jacket pocket, and jumps into the deep abyss that separates her from the heralds. Landing in a very cold and heartless place to wait for book tour plans to arrive.

The herald is applauded by all others. He is granted a title as herald of light. Eventually taking his place as host of a Sunday morning talk show.

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