"is that alex?"

yes

"do you wanna talk about it?"

i'm not sure

"then we won't. let's just talk about you being here"

i guess.... it's like.... ahmmm... pano ba—-

"maine.... it's just me. no judgement. is it still about lukas?"

WHAT?! NO! of course not.

"then who's the lucky guy?"

uhhhh.... it's not... i'm... wala—

"eight years maine. i've known you for eight years. if it's not lukas, based on your reaction and blushing cheeks there's someone that's crawling his way to your heart. and i guess it's time."

that's actually the thing that's bothering me.

"go on. i'm listening."

hindi kasi pwede. at hindi ko maintindihan bakit ko to nararamdaman. i barely know him.

"maine. every love story is different. i think alam mo na yan. it does not matter how long you've known each other. so who's he?"

hindi kasi pwede.

"why not?"

i don't understand why do i keep on falling for the wrong person

"how'd you know he's a wrong person for you? hindi pa man nag-judge ka na"

he's.... he's alex's boyfriend.... alam ko naman na dapat kong pigilan. pero hindi ko alam bakit hindi ko magawa.... am i.... i feel so horrible... bakit ganito-

"ssshhhhh.... it's not your fault.... wala kang kasalanan kung tumibok ang puso mo para sa kanya but what's important is hindi mo naman niloloko si alex. wala ka naman balak na agawin sya di ba? hindi mo naman intensyon na mahulog. please stop crying. and maine, you're not a horrible person. the mistake you did previously does not have anything to do with this situation and your future."

bakit ganon? bakit kay richard pa? alam mo ba na nasasaktan ako kasi hindi naman pala totoo na hihiwalayan nya si alex? ang sama-sama ko. i know gaano sya kamahal ni alex eh pero bakit ganon. bakit di ko mapigilan. i feel like i'm doing it over again.

"maine no! hindi. don't go there. hindi mo to kasalanan and the fact na nandito ka para umiwas sa pwedeng mangyari, it's not betraying your friend."

hindi ko matanggihan si alex eh. pinapauwi nya ko. she said she needs my support on friday. pano kung nandun din si richard? ayoko muna syang makita. i will never betray alex's trust

"then don't go... find an excuse. alam ba nya na nandito ka sa singapore?"

hindi ko sinabi basta sabi ko wala ako sa pinas.

"would you like to call her?"

ayokong madisappoint si alex

"then go. do it for her."

what if... paano kung-

"kung nandun si richard then let it be. you can't stop your heart if it's beating for him. maine... i know it will hurt, but, just love him from afar. hindi mo naman kailangan ng kapalit di ba? hindi mo naman hinihintay na mahalin ka rin ni richard? if you're already inlove with him. question is, are you?"

no.... not.... i mean.... not yet... kaya nga ako umiiwas. kaya ko gustong iwasan. kasi ayokong mapunta dun.

"hindi mo rin naman sigurado if he's going to be there. just be there for alex. be there for your bestfriend. set aside your feelings for a night."

i guess that's what i have to do.

"are you ok now?"

kind of.... salamat

"you're most welcome."

lagi na lang kitang ginugulo pag may problema ako. pasensya ka na ha

"mas gusto ko yun. yung ako ang ginugulo mo. besides, darating din naman yung time baka ako naman mangailangan ng kakausapin, i know you would want me to tell you. kaya smile ka na"

oo naman. sa lahat ba naman ng ginawa mo for me.

"too bad you need to go all the way here sa sing kapag ako ang nangailangan ng tulong"

kahit sa antarctica ka pa pupuntahan kita. how's your last check up by the way?

"ok naman. therapy is still doing me good. but my doctor says still far from what we want."

you'll make it.

"oo naman. oh bakit ka na naman umiiyak?"

kung hindi dahil sa kin.... nakakalakad ka pa..... sorry... sorry if my mistakes caused you to——

"hey! tapos na maine. i know you'll take a bullet for me kung ako ang nasa kalagayan mo... besides it did you good. me not being able to walk. so please enough with the drama kasi matagal na nating tinapos ang episode ng pagda-drama natin sa buhay...."

what did i do to have a friend like you?

"mabuti kang kaibigan. pero kung gusto mo iisa-isahin ko. third year tayo, everyone's bullying me i remember may nag-vandalize pa ng kotse ko but you stood for me. you even made them pay. nung mamatay sila mama at papa, pinilit mong maging full scholar para mapunta sa kin yung pang-tuition na binibigay ng parents mo. nung hindi ko na kayang magbayad ng condo ko pinagpart-time mo ko sa bakeshop ng tita mosa florida. maine ang daming rason gusto mo ba hingalin pa ko sa pag-enumerate?"

oo na.... sige na... panalo ka na... syempre i still feel guilty

"don't be kasi ayoko din ma-guilty pag ikaw naman ang nagsacrifice for me.  o ayan nag-smile ka na rin. sa friendship naman natin walang bilangan di ba? ikaw ang nagsabi nyan?"

oo na po. pero sobrang thank you pa rin

"i know right. at kung alam ko lang na kelangan ko lang masagasaan para matauhan ka sa katangahan mo kay lukas eh di sana nung first year nyo pa lang ginawa ko na para di ka na nasaktan ng ganyan"

——

"huuyyy! maine joke lang. sorry for being insensitive..."

no—- tama ka naman eh. sana hindi ko na hinintay na may mangyari pa syo, sa pamilya ko at kay alex bago ako natauhan sa mga kagagahan ko.

"maine it's not what i meant... sorry.... me and my big mouth..."

sana ang dami kong problema na na-prevent... sana hindi ako nakasakit ng maraming tao....

"maine.... may dahilan lahat. lahat nangyayari sa panahon na dapat mangyari. may rason. please wag mong sisisihin ang sarili mo kung meron mang dapat sisihin dito yang lukas na yan. pag nakita ko talaga yan... wag ka ng umiyak. pag-usapan na lang natin si richard"

wag na. hindi na ako pupulot ng bato na ipupukpok ko ulit sa ulo ko

"grabe ka naman. parang hindi pa man pagkakamali na ang tingin mo kay richard"

mali naman talaga. kahit saang anggulo mali ang maghangad sa taong may nagmamay-ari na....

"ay... ang sakit naman. yung pusong bakla ko nasasaktan... kung hindi lang siguro si alex yung jowa tutulungan kitang paghiwalayin eh"

patrick!!!! kahit na si alex pa o hindi ang girlfriend walang mang-aagaw at walang gagawa ng paraan para paghiwalayin ang dalawang taong nagmamahalan. grabe ka!

"syempre sayo kaya ang loyalty ko.... last na - ayaw mo ba talaga?"

i won't go there pat....

"maine hindi naman kas—-"

i won't be the second option again.... at higit sa lahat... ayokong manira ng relasyon.... i won't be doing the same mistake.... twice...

********************