halos magiisang taon na rin mula ng simulan kong magsulat ng kwento. hindi naging madali. pero isa lang ang alam ko.... sa kwento ko, hindi lang sa iilang eclipse magkikita ang araw at buwan. sisiguraduhin ko na magiging makasarili ang buwan at patuloy na hahanap at gagawa ng paraan para lumaban. dahil hindi sa lahat ng panahon sila magpaparaya para lamang mabuhay ng matiwasay ang mundo at mga nilalang sa kalawakan. sila naman ang magsakripisyo. sila naman ang magbigay-daan.

kaibigan. ito pa lang sa ngayon. pero marami ng nagbago mula ng gabing binigyan nya ako ng pagkakataong magtanong. isang tanong. bakit ko nga ba naisip iyon. isa lang ang sigurado ko noon, kailangang ko syang makilala sa paraan na magaan. di baleng dahan-dahan. basta sigurado yung daan.

we went from being strangers to acquaintances then friends. great friends. she has opened up a little, but what happened 5 or 6 years ago is still a puzzle for me. apart from knowing she had a boyfriend named lukas, the details remain a mystery. alex and i became good friends, she married charles and decided to live outside the country to get away from the prying eyes of showbiz, and she's been routing for me and nico to be more than just comfortable friends. palagi nyang sinasabi na kung maiinlove daw ulit ako, kay nico lang sya may blessing para kampante sya na worth it ang pagmamahal na ibibigay ko. haven't told her yet what my real feelings towards her friend is. gusto ko pa rin ipaalam muna kay nico bago malaman ng kahit na sino.

i resulted to calling her nico instead of her usual nickname because i feel like i have to make sure that ours is a story that is far from her previous, i don't want her to think that her past will have anything to do with our future. and yes, i'm claiming it - OUR FUTURE. whether the universe or galaxy contradicts, i will take it that the sun will be with me. the moon and the sun deserve to have their love story told in a different way. if i need to create another source of light for the earth and the planets, i'm going to do it. i will write our story. i promised her that. even if that time she was not aware.

i still remember when she decided to call me jay. she's fond of calling me richard and i won't complain. but one night, while we're stargazing and having wine at her place....

     // ...stargazing night.... //

richard

yes?

nilalamig na ko. pasok na tayo sa loob

mamaya pa. lika dito

huh? bakit?

basta

—

there. still feel cold?

not anymore. ang laki mo kaya tapos yayakapin mo ko natural blocked na lahat ng hangin

ang bully mo talaga.

ayaw mo pa ba pumasok sa loob?

ayaw pa.

thinking of something?

yes.

wanna share?

the moon is alone

sabi nila kapag walang kasamang mga bituin ang buwan, uulan.

really?

oo. alam mo naiisip ko?

i'll guess.

go ahead.

iniisip mo na dahil nag-iisa ang buwan dahil wala syang bituin na kasama. nalulungkot syang mag-isa. he felt so lonely he had to cry.

i'm amazed.... he doesn't deserve to be alone.

he doesn't. kaya nga dapat makasama na nya ang araw

hindi nga pwede.

why not?

it's not possible

then maybe that's why he's mourning.

what do you mean?

hindi sya malungkot dahil wala ang mga bituin

talaga?

malungkot sya dahil wala ang araw.

but he's used to it

it doesn't mean he's used to it, he's not hurting

but he knew all along that they can't be together

but what if he's thinking of ways to be together with the sun?

then he's thinking non-sense

why is that?

kasi hindi mangyayari

pananaw ng araw?

reality

pero hindi ibig sabihin nun hihinto na ang buwan sa pag-iisip ng paraan.

walang paraan.

ang dali mo namang mag-give up

mahirap umasa sa wala

one day you'll be surprised

hindi darating ang panahon na magkakasama ang araw at buwan. well except for those eclipses. yun lang. hanggang dun lang

ayaw talaga patalo. sige na change topic

bakit rj ang tawag sayo ni alex

my nickname

for?

richard faulkerson jr.

ahhhh

grabe ang tagal na nating magkaibigan ngayon mo lang tinanong

i never called you rj

i've noticed

don't you want to know why?

again, i won't ask you to tell me something you're not comfortable with. if you want me to know, i trust you'd tell me.

kainis talaga to! sobrang bait

i'm not. i'm just keeping my words

i don't want to call you rj kasi it's your connection with alex. i feel like ini-invade ko yung private space nyo. plus hindi naman tayo close para tawagin kita by your nickname.

until now?

wait kasi. iniisip ko kung ano yung itatawag ko sayo. something that would remind you na ako lang ang tumatawag sayo.

you have nuggets

ayoko naman tawagin ka na nuggets in front of your business associates.

why not? it's solely yours.

kahit na.

ok sige mag-isip ka na.

ayoko ng rich or chard kasi may narinig na ko tumawag nun sayo. hmmmmm...... jay!!!

oohhhkay!

how's that?

whatever suits you nico.

and why did you decide to call me nico

because i want something new

huh?

a name that does not remind you of anything 5 years ago.... pag kasama mo ko ayokong may maiisip ka na magpapaalala sayo ng kahit anong sakit na naramdaman mo dati.

jay

hmm?

isang yakap. mahigpit na yakap. isang yakap ng pag-asa. isang yapos na tila isa na namang hakbang sa pagtitiwala.

ang sarap naman ng yakap ng french fries ko

thank you

isa pa nga

—

i got you french fries

natatakot ako

saan?

sayo

why?

—

hey, look at me.... nico... please....

—

bakit ka natatakot?

lahat ng ito. ikaw. yung friendship natin. lahat to mawawala pag nakilala mo ko. pag nalaman mo lahat ng nagawa ko

ssshhhh.... then don't

what?

don't tell me

why?

i don't need to know.

but at one point i have to.

then i won't leave.

i don't know jay....

hindi ako aalis. hindi kita iiwan. kahit ano pang nagawa mo.

wag muna natin pag-usapan

dito ka lang.

jay?

hmmm?

i know it's too much to ask

ask away

stay

you're still having nightmares?

lately. yes

i'll stay. inaantok ka na ba?

hindi pa. basta tabihan mo ulit ako

lagi naman di ba?

pano pala? may work ka bukas di ba?

je can cover for me

nakakahi—

sshhhh... i own the company

bossy

you need me. my work will never be a hindrance pag kinailangan mo ko

spoiled talaga ko sayo noh?

oo naman.

susulitin ko to kasi baka pag nagka-girlfriend ka na hindi na kita pwedeng ma-hug at di na rin ako spoiled

girlfriend? what makes you think i'll be getting one

huuuyyy! syempre tumatanda ka na. natural lang naman na nag-iisip ka na about those things

tumatanda talaga?! hindi ako naghahanap

weh???

why would i?

bakit ayaw mo na rin ba mag-asawa? have kids? have a family?

it'll come. ngayon ikaw muna. tayo. yung friendship natin. ok na yun. it's more than enough

huy pero pag may nililigawan ka na sabihin mo sa kin ha. tutulungan kita na mapasagot

ang daming sinasabi. bakit ba pinagbubuntunan mo na naman ang lovelife ko? iba na lang pag-usapan natin

just wanna let you know na supportive akong kaibigan

alam ko na. now don't push the topic. gusto mo lovelife mo na lang pag-usapan natin

expired na

hahaha! ano yang lovelife mo de lata?

hindi noh! tinapay!

baliw ka talaga. ano nga?

i'm done with it.

grabe ka naman.

tama na ang isang pagkakamali

how sure are you na mali ulit yung susunod?

i can't

what do mean you can't?

what happened with me and lukas. i can't make myself love again. i don't deserve to be loved....

or is it lukas?

what do you mean?

mahal mo—

don't... don't even try to go there

you can tell me

hindi na. wala na.

are you sure? o baka naman yun ang gusto mong paniwalaan?

hindi yun ang gusto kong paniwalaan. that's what i feel

how can you say?

jay....

you can choose to answer or not....

jay.... i... i....

sshhhhh..... don't answer... naiintindihan ko

no... you... you don't....

do you want to make me understand?

not now.... i just need you now...

then need me nico... i want you to need me... not just now... but tomorrow and the days after that.... i want you to need me....

don't go

i won't

jay

hmmm

i'm sleepy na

go ahead. tulog ka na. bubuhatin na lang kita

ayaw mo pang pumasok

i want you to sleep in my arms under the starless sky with the moon just looking at you...

i'd like that.... goodnight, jay...

sleep well nico...

..... bahagi ito ng patlang na hindi nyo nakita sa
nakaraan

// ——— //

*****************