Music - People Like Us by Kelly Clarkson

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Todd

I stared at him in confusion as I tried to come up with possible reasons why he thought I was gay. My mind was clouded up with questions as to how he would think of me as one. As someone just like him. "I-I...I don't know what you're talking about, Gray." I said as I avoided his gaze.

"Don't even try to deny it, Hitcher." Gray's hand touched mine and I turned to face him, my eyes searching for answers. He leaned a little closer to my ear and he whispered, "The way you look at my body when I was changing, those subtle stares whenever you thought I wasn't looking. I know all too damn well those sneaky lustful gazes."

I heaved a sigh and bit the sides of my cheeks as it flared up in embarrassment. I guess I wasn't as subtle as I thought I was. Gray was a pretty guy and I loved to look at everything pretty.

The truth was, I was never sure of my sexuality, but I knew I liked boys and girls. My recent explicit dreams would always be me with either and while the thought of it always surprised me, it never bothered me. "Honestly," I spoke, "I'm not gay, but I wouldn't lie and tell you I didn't like what I see."

"Have you ever been kissed?" He asked, "you know, that deep and passionate kind of kiss that makes you hard in your pants?" Gray's gaze fell to my lips in which I licked out of nervousness. I was trying to calm myself, but I could tell I was struggling to breathe normally.

The disadvantages of being a teenage guy would be that moments like this make them hard. I was hard. It wasn't even the kiss that he was talking about that turned me on, but it was in the way he said those words. They were daring and he somehow sparked a sense of curiosity within me. "I...uh...no." Somehow, I forgot the ability to form words.

"Try me."

I hesitated and looked into his eyes. He could be just messing with my head, but why would he? What would be his reason? I looked down at his lips. It looked tempting.

He leaned forward and rested his forehead on mine. "You can kiss me and it would be our little secret." He assured me and I turned to face the door. It was closed and I felt myself heat up even more.

For one last time, my eyes traveled down his lips that were curled up in a smirk. I was holding my breath and I could feel my heart thumping fast in my chest. It could be just my raging hormones, but the way he looked at me was one of the sexiest things I had ever seen, which I guess didn't say much since I was a virgin.

I wiped off the sweat beading on my forehead and launched myself at Gray, my lips finally touching his as we collapsed on the pillows.

His lips felt like warm marshmallows and I had to control myself to not bite them. He licked mine, tickling me a little, making me grin. I let Gray guide me as I let his tongue enter my mouth. For something as weird as tongues dancing slowly against each other, and the uncertainty of whether I was doing it right or not, it felt good.

It felt erotic.

I continued to kiss him, my arms supporting my weight on my bed so we weren't squished on to each other. He moaned softly and I pulled away. I rolled over to the side of my bed, composing myself, catching my breath as I stared at the ceiling. I never thought hearing someone moan would drive someone a little on the edge. That almost led me to...completion.

Gray was my first kiss and it was nerve-wracking yet it felt good and exciting. It was also a huge confirmation that I didn't mind kissing guys after all.

"That is something..." I remarked, dazed while catching my breath. My heart skipped a beat when I felt his hand on my crotch in which I brushed off as fast as my ability to climax.

"You're hard." He chuckled while I avoided his gaze. "Don't be embarrassed, I am too."

"You keep surprising me, Gray." I turned to face him and I had no idea he was staring at me the entire time my eyes were fixated on the ceiling. Just like what he just did, I put my hand on his crotch, his eyes widened and I felt his cock twitch. He really wasn't lying.

"Well, you keep surprising me too, Hitcher." He said, a sly smile drawn on his face. "Who would have thought that quiet smart guy from school is not that timid."

"I'm not timid, I'm just focused," I replied. I then asked, "Since when did you find out you're gay?"

Gray turned to face the ceiling as he went back to resting his head on his arms. "You know that Marky Mark ad from Calvin Klein? I was only twelve when I found myself subconsciously admiring Mark Wahlberg. He was hot as fuck." He pursed his lips then continued, "then I came to a realization that I will never be attracted to girls. The basketball team would always talk about them but I never really cared."

"You know, I never really made an effort to know my sexuality," I told Gray. "I just knew I liked what my mind wants me to like. I'm still figuring things out though, but this is my conclusion for now. Clearly, you, a guy, gave me a boner, and it's pretty damn solid, so I am obviously not straight."

"I'm glad you can be honest with yourself," He said, "it sucks that we have to pretend just to conform with society. They always tell you to be yourself, but at the end of the day, being 'true to yourself' is their way of telling you to be what they expect you to be."

"I am honest with myself, but I wouldn't say I am with my parents," I told him and he only replied with yet again another sigh. Then a question entered my mind, "do your parents know?"

"I'm waiting for the right time. They are against the concept of homosexuality." Gray replied as he drew circles on my arm. He then shifted his hand on my shirt and lifted it a little, exposing my torso. "This is why I need that scholarship because I have a feeling they're gonna kick me out as soon as I come out to them."

"Why do you think they'd do that?"

"I never really got to spend more time with them. They're always busy so I don't feel any sort of connection with them." He explained as he ran his hand over my skin, which made me shiver. "I wasn't their favorite son, to begin with."

I held his hand that was touching my stomach, "What if you're just overthinking it?" I said as I guided his hand under my shirt, upwards to my chest. His eyes found mine and he looked confused with what I was doing. I told him, "Maybe they'd understand."

"You are different in the bedroom." He chuckled and I felt his finger caressed my nipple, making me bite my lip. "Man, you are horny."

"Well if you can just stop seducing, then I won't." I sat up and turned towards him. "I maybe this quiet guy at school that you think, but you know, I am human, I am sexual," I said as I peeled off my shirt and threw it at his face as he laughed.

"You can't just pull the pin and not expect me to explode." I chuckled.

Gray threw my shirt on the floor, a grin was plastered on his face as he sat up and stripped his off too. "I just came here to return your phone. I can't believe we're in the same bed, semi-naked with our dicks hard." He said and he was right. Everything seemed to have escalated quickly.

"We're not gonna have sex, I just want to take a look," I said, running my hands over his bare torso in the process. To be honest, I didn't mind the sudden turn of events and he was somehow comfortable to be with. Gray was naturally a people's person. "You have such a gorgeous body."

"What do you say we make this our thing?" He offered with such enthusiasm. He added, "We're both in the closet and we only have each other, I don't know anyone at school who are just like us."

There were probably more than just the two of us and there could be a lot, but just like me and Gray, they were in a disguise, just camouflaging with the straight kids.

"Our thing?" I asked, wanting him to explain further.

"Let's make a deal," Gray said, "we can meet from time to time and explore our deepest sexual fantasies. No strings attached, just two homos enjoying the company of each other."

"I'm not gay, Gray," I defended myself as the label didn't sit well with me. It didn't feel right.

"Sorry about that, but deal?" He waited for my decision.

•••

Gray went home around six in the night. We didn't do anything aside from kissing, but cuddling with him was a delight. I liked how warm my bare skin felt against his. Was I longing for someone to lay in bed with? As a seventeen-year-old guy, I really didn't need it, but it sure did feel great. He gave me his cell phone number so I could call him anytime I'd want him over. We preferred Sundays. It looked like what we did wouldn't be a one-time thing and the thought of it was exciting.

I agreed to the deal. It didn't seem harmful, in fact, I thought it would help us discover something new about ourselves along the way. A dose of body contact didn't seem like a bad idea either.

The telephone started ringing and I waited for my mom to answer the call from her room. It could be her agent. However, the ringing wouldn't stop so I assumed she still wasn't in her room and I decided to answer the call myself. I sat up and reached for the telephone on my nightstand. "Hitchers residence, how may I help you?"

"Um...hi, is this Todd?" The voice came from a girl. She sounded familiar, but I couldn't remember where I met her before.

"Yes, this is Todd. May I know who this is?" I asked.

"This is Joanne." The girl answered and I remembered that girl from the party. She was the only Joanne I was familiar with. "From the party..."

"Yeah, I do remember you, you're that designer girl," I said while I try to figure out how she got my number.

"Hollie told me you are good at math, so I asked her for your number," Joanne said, her voice getting a little less loud and more careful.

"Well, I guess I'm okay at it," I chuckled awkwardly. I was good at math, but it sure wasn't a fun subject.

"Todd, I suck at math and I really need to improve this year. I need your help." She said. Joanne was from a different school so I didn't know how we would be seeing each other regularly. "I'm just worried I'm gonna fail again and if I did, I'll miss graduation."

"Well, I..." I didn't think I'd have enough time for Joanne during the weekdays since I planned on trying out for the basketball team so that would mean I'd have to spend more time at school. I also wasn't sure if I had the ability to tutor people properly.

"I know this is very out of the blue and we don't really know each other that much, but I'm desperate," Joanne begged. She added, "my brother is expecting me to graduate this year and I don't want to disappoint him."

I did understand what she was saying. My parents weren't really pressuring me with school, but I didn't want to fail them.

Joanne seemed like a nice girl - based on the small information I gathered from her during the party - and it would suck if she failed her mathematics and miss graduation. I couldn't give her my weekdays because of school, and I already had a deal with Gray on Sundays. My selfish self didn't want to miss the benefits I'd get every Sunday.

I sighed, I still got one free day to help someone out. "Alright, but I can only give you my Saturdays."

"That's absolutely fine with me," Joanne said, her voice louder and clearer this time and she sounded excited. "You don't know how much this means to me, thank you."

"No biggie," I said and asked for her address.

I braced myself for my sudden jam-packed schedule.

---End of Chapter 4---