THIRTY FIVE: HOSPITAL LIGHTS AND BARBIE DOLLS

"Sir, I have been trying to look into this Campbell's report but it's just not making any sense to me," I admitted huffing out loudly. I have literally spent three hours, trying to figure out what the heck this file was about.

Currently, I was standing in front of his desk when he nodded and took the file from me, doing his famous electronic scanning with his eyes. He didn't even slide any nasty comments or shouted at me.

 It has been a few days since the incident at the restaurant and he has been behaving quite well with me; less of an asshole but still he remained distant and would reply with curt nods without looking over at me. 

"This-"

Just as he opened his mouth, my phone rang and it was from Mrs. Smith from the NGO.

"Just a second." I pinched  my eyesbrows.

"Hello?" 

"Ms. Hargrave?" Her voice sounded weared off and husky as if she had been crying for hours. 

"What happened? Tell me." Something felt wrong.

"Can you come to the hospital? Ar-Aria—she… she's not good. Please come. The doctors said that she was having complications while going through chemo th-therapy." Then she broke out into a fit of sobs but I couldn't hear her voice clearly anymore. 

I stood there perplexed as time froze. As the wheel of time turned I could hear the loud thumping against my chest but my legs weren't moving. My breaths were short and plenty. 

I was pulled out of the daze when a pair of arms turned me. It felt as if the symmetry of my body had been rearranged. "Huh?" I breathed out looking at a worrying pair of grey orbs. His lips were moving but I couldn't hear it. Why?

Then he started shaking me vigorously, snapping me out from a lost forest of numbness, perplexion and fear of reacting to the situation.

"What happened? Who was on the other end?" He was tensed, I noticed.

"Tell me Lia!"

"Ah..." I gulped because my throat was burning. "Aria- she's- her condition is not good. Hospital. Now!" I pleaded with my eyes but my mouth was whimpering as my heart shrank after each passing second when her face came in front of me. Aria's happy, giggly face with her ponytails swaying as she jumped up and down. 

"Come," he prodded and that's when I realized that he has been rubbing my arms all that time but now they were gone.

We exited the room in a rush as I tried to calm my breaths by trying to halt between an inhale and exhale for four seconds but I was failing. In vain did the yoga classes go. I always fail at everything I do. I'm such a bloody wimp.

"Get in the elevator."

"No-no." I was going to have a panic attack if I didn't avoid the usage of closed spaces. Running towards the stairs, I climbed them down to the first one. I was definitely out of breath and now I couldn't breathe.

Theodore was running towards me, he stooped to say to the receptionist, "Cancel all the meeting, all the appointments, everything." His voice was echoing in the massive room and a few eyes shot towards us.

"Yes, sir." 

We settled in the car and the driver pulled out towards the hospital. My hands were badly shaking as I remembered the caring little girl that she would be and bring me flowers from the garden out of nowhere and then leave without a word. She was so innocent, she didn't deserve it.

I remembered visiting here every alternative day at lunch break and I'd just look at her from outside, not having the guts to confront her. I was afraid of her curious eyes, her innocent question for which I didn't have answers. 

'Will I die, Lia?'

A gasp escaped my lips when warm palms wrapped around mine tightly.

"Breathe, Lia." He pulled me towards him as he snaked my waist with one arm and started running his thumb over my back which crawled till my spine. 

I bit my lips to stop myself from crying and trust me when I say, it took every ounce of control. 

"Hey," he made me release my lip from between my teeth and rubbed his thumb over it. My insides twisted like a rope, tauntingly. He was very close to me and I found myself vulnerable like a deer under the lion's gaze. 

"Let it out. Your entire body is crying. Just let your eyes release the tension. I'm here with you." His voice was soothing, like a trail of a feather against my sore body. I looked away but his hands stayed. I bit the inside skin under my lip when crying came and didn't come to me at the same time, despite the urgency of the condition. 

"Please." He rubbed the shell of my ear and my body reacted by raising goosebumps that cover my skin with a fragile blanket. I bit my checks harder. Then his fingers trailed behind to press the behind of the ear, right where there was a depression. A sliver of electric sparks we're emitted from that place, rushing to the veins on my hand and legs.

I gave up. 

My cries broke into the silence of the car and it felt as if my brain was shredded from inside. Emotional pain flowed from every pore of my body, and I could feel it. I grabbed Theodore's shirt to support my shaken bones and cells. 

He pulled my tighter against his chest and soothed my back by spreading his hands up and down. This increased the ache in my stomach and nuzzled my face into the hollow of his neck. The shirt material soaked under my face. 

And he held me so affectionately and delicately that I thought that I'd break. Not a single person held me when I cried. It was me against the world. The feeling of having someone be your shadow was too profuse and devastatingly new. 

This was too overwhelming and I pulled myself out of his embrace and scooted to the other corner, away from him. I felt very exposed and naked under his eyes as if he could undress me and look into my bare soul. 

I wiped my tears and breathed in and out through my nose.

"Sir we have arrived." The driver informed Theodore.

I jumped out of the car undone and my knees buckled immediately. Squeezing my eyes I was awaiting the impact. I had given up.

 None came. So I opened my eyes and Theodore lifted me up effortlessly and held me by his side. 

The hospital lights were increasing the throbbing in my head due to crying. The smell of medicine wasaking my stomach flip. But I was extremely thankful for the support of this man who left his work in a blink of an eye. Familiar faces were waiting at the reception and we quickly strode up to them. 

"Where?" I impatiently demanded. Theodore was running his fingers up and down my waist to keep me at bay.

"Come, I'll take you." Mr. Kendall informed me. "She is in the ICU taking her last breaths." I glared at him for his last sentence and shrugged off his hands from my shoulders with a force. 

I pushed the door open and there was a nurse and Mrs. Smith. She was red from crying. Not wasting a second, I was on the bed beside Aria. 

"Aria. See who came. Lia came." My throat burned as I tried to maintain my normal voice while talking to her non reactive body. Her pale body didn't jump at me or pull me into her tiny embrace, like always.

She was angry at me. That's why she's ignoring me. I know.

"Look at me, baby." A sob broke and it was mine. I grazed her cheek with my thumb. I let it move up to her bald head. My lips were trembling so bad that I had to press my fist against them to stop their fluttering.

  "Will you get up if I buy you a new barbie? I'll get one for Bella too. I promise. And I will play with you guys everything you want me to—"

The machines started beeping out of a sudden and a nurse hurried towards my Aria, checking the plugs attached to her body. 

"What's happening?" 

"Doctor! Doctor!" The nurse pressed the red button by the bed. "Move away from her ma'am." 

And I was harshly pulled away from the bed and Aria's little hand unentangled from mine till they were thrown apart. A price of my heart broke as our hands were teared away from the life holding embrace.

"No! Tell me what's going on? She will be alright, right?" I shrieked as Theodore armed snaked around my stomach dragging me forcefully to the corner of the room. A crew of doctors and nurses stormed into the room. Commands and whispers erupted in the room.

 I twisted around and patted Theodore's chest expectedly. "She's fine right?" I rubbed away the tears off my eyes in a flick with the hope that maybe things will turn right. 

"Tell me yes." His features were painted with pain which hyperventilated me more.

"She's so small. She hasn't seen anything yet in this massive world. She's fine." I nodded frantically to myself so Theodore would comply but he was such a bad person that he didn't.

"I know you want me to cry, that's why you are acting like this." I accused him harshly. "But she's innocent." I pointed out softly not breaking the fierce eye contact. "She cant- cant just...you know...just-"

I couldn't voice out the words. And why should I even say it? It wasn't true. Nothing of such type would happen.

I slapped hard across his chest and then tugged him forward by his collar. He held his ground and tightened his grip on my hips firmly.

"Tell me she's going to be alright!" I threatened. His eyes were trying to communicate silently with me but I couldn't focus on him. My eyes were blurry with a lot of moisture.

"Lia-" he breathed out. His hands going up and down my arms. I tried pulling myself out of his prasp to run to little Aria.

 "Please. Please." Theodore prodded and then he slammed my face into his chest, his fingers weaving through my hair to hold me close. I cried or rather howled even more loudly, buried into his shirt, twiddling with the buttons of his shirt. The pain was too much to bear and my nerves were tearing apart. Earth shattering pain.

"I'm still to buy her barbies," I argued out in a whispery tone as a tear tumbled down my nose till my lips. It was salty. He pulled me further into him, his hands massaged my scalp lightly and I sighed into the warm bubble. I knew something bad, very bad was about to happen this instant.

Someone cleared their throat and I immediately turned stiff in his arms. "I'm sorry. She's no more. She was truly a fighter. She fought till her last breath."

And suddenly all the devices we're shut, no beeping anymore.

The words seem to hang in the air. Before it could even register, I was ready to beat the shit out of the owner of this voice. As if knowing my intentions, his embrace rigidified around my trembling body. I grunted and banged my head against his torso but he didn't let me go. 

"Let me go, you asshole." 

"No Lia. Please control yourself. I'm here with you. I've got you. Please. We can't change it." Slowly his words registered in my mind. He kept saying words which were blurry to my ears. Taking a deep breath even though I felt hollow, I tried pulling away. 

"I'm fine. Let me go." I grunted. After a bit of hesitation and me trying again, he left me. The air was cold around me. Wiping my tears with the heels of my palm, I walked up to little Aria.

 I tried to smile but my face crumpled to protest against it. I couldn't. So, I pressed my lips to her forehead. Whimpering against her skin as a few tear drops fell on her cold head and lifeless form. I pulled myself away after I felt it was right. It could have been ten minutes or ten seconds, I don't know.

Giving a long hug to Mrs. Smith I said, "Take care of yourself. She is still among us."

Theodore was supporting my balance on the ground by holding me by my waist. Not a single word was uttered till he reached the car. He opened my door and I climbed inside. 

Why was I feeling so hollow from within? 

The car started as the faint vibration of the engine grumbled beneath the seat. I dropped my head on Theodore's lap and shut my blistering eyes. His hands came down to my neck to push away the stray strands of hair and began to stroke my forehead gently. 

The tingle of my skin around my neck was the last thing on my mind before I disappeared into a dark void.

***

The song ends,
but the melody lingers on.
People die,
But their memories stays forever.

***

✧✧I know this might have been soul reaching and heart quivering moment. Thoughts? So we can capture the moment. ✧✧