FORTY-SIX : KISS & SHOCK

THE LOOSE TENDRILS of the bath mat entangled between the fingers of my legs as I rubbed my soles thoroughly over it. Stepping towards the glass sliding with my bathrobe draped over my form, I drew over the curtains, giving the authority to the bright morning light to march into the room. When I turned around, my eyes found their way to the most precious glimpse of Theodore and Amelia sleeping soundly. Baby Amelia's body was lying on Theodore's chest as his palm shielded her little form from all the foul. Drool was dripping from Amelia's slightly parted lips as she breathed while soft snores were emanating from Theodore's mouth. Unfazed by the intrusion of the sun's scorching rays, they both slept blissfully.

A feeling, very unknown yet known crept over my soul, little by little before I was immersed into it whole. It was like I leaned my hand into an unnamed jar and took hold in order to have a taste. But before my fist could find its way out, the point slipped through between my fingers like deceitful honey. The traces left behind provided a tiny whiff.

Exhaling through my nose while feeling my legs leaden due to applying pressure for a long span, I strode towards my room with a heavy heart full of coal and diamonds in the same jar. It was time to get prepared for the office.

***

My head snapped at the invading sounds of a series of knocks on my cabin door. Even before I could acknowledge it, there were knocks again.

"Come in," I voiced out loud.

Theodore marched in with a pile of files and papers in his elusive confidence as I stood up in custom.

"Please sit Mrs. Raymond, we haven't got much time at hand." He exhaled loudly and I could predict that he had been zipping up and down the stairs.

"We have to finalize the payment for the contractor and inform me if you know someone who can immediately take over the responsibilities for interior and decorations." He breathed out, pulling the chair and sat adjacent to me.

Shutting my laptop, I pulled my swivel chair towards his direction. Then, I began, "Sir about the matter concerning the payment of the contractor, Mr. McCabe, Chris, and I had already decided. Here it is," I pulled out a single sheet from my drawer and slid it towards him.

His eyes scrutinized the paper briefly as I waited patiently for the clue to carry on. Pleased by the report, he nodded for me to continue. Without wasting a breath I began in my mechanical tone, "About designers, well I had a conversation with Chris and we contacted a few of them-"

"We want the best," he injected.

"Let me complete, sir" I urged him with gritted teeth, "Arthur Easton, the best of the best right now is engaged with Samsung Technologies and it will take him three months to complete his work there-" I spelled each word property, gearing that if I went too fast they'd overlap.

"The next best?"

"Next best is Ms. Neena and we have already reached out to her projects and she seemed phenomenal in what she did. If directed precisely, I can bet she'd do wonders."

"So, is she the one our company can do the best?" He raised one of his eyebrows. I inhaled before nodding an affirmative.

"Great then, secure her for this and ask her to visit tomorrow at whatever time we have room. Also, coordinate and set up an appointment according to her free time. I'll leave you to handle that and one more thing..." he looked around for something.

"Pen?" I queried with pinched brows.

"Yes, please."

I pulled out a Parker from the pen stand on the other end of the table, handing it over to him. The warmth of his palm made the cells of my palm get excited. Snatching away my hand quickly, which didn't get unnoticed by him but he ignored it. I clasped both my hands between my thighs. He penned down figures with a side note for me to remember but I don't know when but I realized that I was losing it - my brain. And as my sanity seeped out my body, a daring, more enthralling energy began taking its place.

I didn't move my eyes away from his hand which wrote in confident italics. His long fingers when played with the pen, coursed a series of wild imagination knocks against my cranium. They looked as if they were capable of so many sins that an entire human race can't detect.

"You're biting your lip," and his words were like a bucket of ice-cold water poured over my head. I exhaled out with a hitch in my breath and confusion contoured his features. His palm enveloped my fist which was placed on the table. I could feel myself shag my shoulders and release my things from their tense clasps.

"Uh-huh," his hoarse voice was suddenly generating more vibrations in the pit and making my stomach do summersaults. "You have torn open your lip Lia," he rasped, moving forwards with furrowed eyebrows and examining approach.

I don't know if I should have relaxed that he was coming closer or should have felt disappointed that he wasn't feeling what I was experiencing at that moment. But only if I was aware that my limbs don't function according to my brain but subconscious.

I leaned forward, clearly taking him off guard as a pained coat engulfed my heart in its clutches at his bewildered expression.

"Do you know what you are doing?" He whispered against my lips after a second which ceased the gap even more.

The warm breath swirling my brain cells in an unrhymed melody.

"Yes." My chest heaved as I breathed out the reply.

"If we do this now, then our previous kiss will no longer be a mistake." His eyes were again speaking an unknown language but why was I able to read it?

But even if I was capable of deciphering it, I couldn't bring myself to translate it into a mere excuse of words. Words seemed vague in front of the volumes his eyes seemed to say to drown my thoughts and being.

"I never took it as a mistake, Theo." My voice came out agonized but I was still holding myself back if he wasn't ready for what this action might take us. And change our relationship. Maybe I wasn't either but I wanted to connect our lips so desperately at that moment that little by little his undoing was taking my breath away.

Realization dawned on me, leaving behind no air inside my lungs, and no words on my tongue but enough energy to think that I should pull back. Acting against my instinct-

"Shut up-" was all I last heard before finally the bridge connecting the two mountains was crushed between us and hence we collided.

The succulent texture of his lips pressed against mine was prominent and promising, but at the same time what I was feeling was like I was underwater. My brain was too numbed to think and react. But soon his lips poured oxygen into my mouth as they began the intercourse.

He was the instrumentals and I was the lyrics; we became one song with imperfections of haste and desperate struggling of our lips against each other like we couldn't get more.

We were underwater and we needed oxygen, but our oxygen was each other; fulfilling and satisfying spite of being in a rage.

"Lia... do you think Theo will let Ms. Neena .... Oh, shit guys!"

We were pulled out of our arena at the voice of a familiar person but to decide whom it belonged to was challenging. The ache being soothed out from my back was the evidence of me hovering over Theodore the entire time. Short and quick pants, his warmth still protected me from the cool air which was awaiting to slice me. The warmth didn't vanish and neither did I have the instinct to run and hide.

It was a new feeling, fresh, and content.

We were both not touching, well at least I couldn't feel it because of the numerous vibrations still lingering on the surface of my body. But he was still close, close enough to let the real oxygen find its way towards the needy depths.

"Wrong timing," Christian muttered with a laugh.

When it wasn't? I wondered.

"I didn't know about this-this thing going on between you guys, huh?"

I was able to finally feel the energy change and the cool air prominent against the sweat on the curve of my neck. Theodore pulled back and turned towards his younger brother with a look that wasn't pleasant.

"What obliged you to come here?" His voice was rough which he soothed by clearing his throat gruffly. The sound, I swear was tantalizingly sexy and enough to make me want to do wrong things to him right now.

But I resisted my horny self.

God, when did I change into such a hormonal excuse of a wife?

"You can have a discussion with Mrs. Raymond later in the evening. Now, we have to drive to the construction site. Come with me," he voiced out in his professional strict tone, not leaving space for questions or arguments.

He spoke like nothing happened a few seconds back, my inner voice whispered.

I sighed at my own thoughts in defeat, looking at their feet scramble towards the exit. My frown deepened. The sleek, masterly polished pair of shoes stopped while the other moved out of the sight with no bondage. I didn't move my gaze up, planning to look away.

An authoritative cough. It made my eyes snap up and he held my eyes tenderly with a soft, apologetic expression.

I didn't let a muscle tick on my face.

After ample moments he sighed and left after nodding, his signature action.

I think I nodded back.

Or maybe I forgot in the midst of the look his eyes carried.

A promise.

***

The air which was bland every day was suddenly chilled as we stepped out of the car. It was a contrast to the artificial, air-conditioned breeze or maybe it was calming our overheated nerves after an extremely exhausting day.

The sky was ink blue, just a few little stars clung to the velvet blanket to illuminate it. No traces of moon or clouds could be witnessed.

I walked up the stairs to the porch as Theodore was quick to open the lock. We were silent, things weren't awkward but there was an inexpressible void.

Amelia.

But now there was no scope for her arrival here as she was already accustomed to the people there and made friends.

"What do you wanna have for dinner?" Theodore asked behind me as we both entered our room.

"Anything will work," I sighed out of tiredness. "Actually just put the cup noodles in the microwave. You must be tired too..."

"Yeah,"

I picked up his black v neck t-shirt and dragged my feet towards the bathroom without another word. Maybe the shower would calm my nerves.

Nothing of such happened. If I was exhausted before, I was anxious then. My neck felt constricted as I walked out and dropped the towel on the bed.

Theodore was downstairs and the empty room was feeling claustrophobic. It didn't feel like that anymore.

How was it even possible?

The feeling was a combination of so much fear, anxiety, restlessness, uncomfort...

A feeling I experienced when I was very small and I forgot to take my textbook to school. It was that kind of fear which just blurred your senses and you couldn't stop overthinking and you let the notion eat you alive.

Stomach churning, sweaty palms, ragged breaths, conscious steps in which your soles even tried to measure the coolness of the marble floor was all happening to me simultaneously. And my brain was going haywire with all kinds of unholy thoughts and scattered memories and unexplainable results.

Sum total was a disaster which I couldn't even pronounce out loud. But all the factors lead to it...

Theodore was sitting on a chair and eating silently with a distant look on his face. I quietly pulled the chair beside him and sat down, stumbling lightly at a loss of focus.

Theodore's gaze diverted towards me but I smiled nervously at him before picking up my fork. He continued staring at me with concern, eating occasionally.

I became more nervous under his sight but didn't stop myself from stuffing more noodles even before the previous finished; to avoid the reflections of the questions revolving in his head.

My heart was constricting and I could feel less oxygen supply in my nerves.

"What's wrong Lia? Eat slowly."

I chuckled nervously, my voice sounding distant to me. "No- yeah, I'm just hungry," I remarked.

My hand reached towards the glass of water to ease off the knot of food stuck in my throat. Gulping down the entire glass hungrily, I put the glass down on the table.

Or so I thought , because the glass collided with the floor emanating the sound of prickles and scattering. I flinched on my seat murmuring apologies after apologies.

"I'm so s-sorry, I'll just go and get the -"

"Shhh..." Theodore dragged his chair in front of me and clasped both my shaking hands in his. I stilled at my position, connecting my eyes with his but so much concern made me look away with guilt.

I didn't realize that I was shuddering till now...

"Are you alright? I- I mean of course you're not. Tell me what's bothering you? Is it that kiss? I'm sorry if that has been bothering you but I swear I was going to talk after we had dinner. Talk to me Lia, please," he grasped my shoulder to shake them lightly, urging me silently. The plea in his voice made myself loose to me. But I just looked at the wall behind him like a heartless bitch.

I should have interrupted him while we were ranting then it would have been over now. Now how can I even say out loud when I'm myself not sure about it. But I know that it was the truth because so many signs can't lead to the same thing.

"Look at me..." his voice was called unlike the chaos drinking in my head.

"Breathe," I followed his instructions with closed eyes, taking two swift breaths before I blurted it all out.

But I didn't know that just three words can make me the witness of so many emotions running in his eyes - confusion, shock, unbelief, hurt, betrayal that I would want to bury myself into a pit of sand and end my life.

"I'm pregnant."

THE END

***

It is love that lives
inside of me
But it is home
I found inside of you.

***