EIGHTEEN: WEDDING DRESS & BATHTUB.

IT WAS TEN when I was finally done with packing my stuff. I never thought that I had inhabited this place with all my heart and soul until it was time to leave. I couldn't help but realize how my heart constricted with unspoken pain. 

The workers took my cartons and cartons of luggage downstairs. After having a last look at my house I locked the door with a heavy heart. I pressed my forehead against the door, breathing in the air of my home. Exhaling deeply, I turned and walked down the stairs.

I was currently in the car which Theodore had sent. We were heading towards the hotel where the wedding would befall. 

Somehow my heartfelt strangely empty and in pain considering that I don't have a home of mine anymore. But more than that, the regression of accepting the proposal for the wedding was eating me alive. I kept on shuffling in the backseat feeling homesick. Even trying to engage me in the phone was worthless. I was just restless and felt out of the place. Homeless. Stray.

It was like I was leaving behind a fragment of my life - memories and moments. And I knew that it meant that I'll have to start a new chapter in my life. I wasn't good at beginnings.

And in this chapter, it would not be just me. There would be my husband, my better half. That's what the world called it but my destiny wasn't merciful enough to provide me with the privilege. My life would no longer be just governed by me. It will be catalyzed by him, whom I didn't trust at all. 

I was doomed.

I was lost. 

I wanted to go back to my cocooned, safe, and forlorn life.

 I didn't want my life to be handled by someone else. 

But, was it too late? 

My ride came to a halt and I gingerly walked to the entrance. The receptionist accompanied me to my room. The hotel was beautiful and massive. Crystals and ancient wall paintings accompanied me until I reached my room.

My room was big, very big. I was awestruck.

The furniture was high and bespoke. Every price was hardwood and hacked back to the Victorian Era but not a scrap in the room looked more than a year back. The fabrics were spotless and color coordinated in muted natural hues. 

The room was furnished with a massive bed which could easily make you crave a touch of sleep, even if you have already slept all your life. The head of the bed was carved in shining oak wood. There was a similar fashioned desk in the corner. 

The dressing table looked ancient yet beautiful. A big round mirror with two pairs of drawers in the bottom, engraved in brown planks. A velvet couch set with a glass table laid under the thick floral curtains. And the carpeted floor enhanced its richness. 

There were dozens of shoe boxes and a wide range of jewelry spread on the desk. Soon, there were white embroidered, satin, silk, and velvet dresses draped in mannequins brought inside the room by members of staff. 

My jaw hit the ground at the number of products and makeup which followed after that. 

Were they preparing for the birthday of the Queen of England? 

Elizabeth and Madelyn, Raymond's personal beauticians, walked up to me. After the greetings, they started their torture on me, wordlessly. Someone was working on my hair and face, some on my legs and others on my arms. It was a pleasurable feeling, blissful, and fulfilling. But still, I was uncomfortable letting everyone touch me. 

I don't know when I dozed off in the midst of these facials and spa but my mind woke up at the sound of Rohanna's cheerful voice. 

"You shouldn't be sleeping now, the bride-to-be." She wiggled her eyebrows playfully. Her elbow was resting on the handstand of the couch, overlooking me and supervising the procedures. 

The hairdressers and stylists were still working on me but surprisingly I felt very refreshed and unstressed.  

"She should be sleeping now. What about the bride's beauty sleep?" Cassiopia retorted and we all laughed at the fact. 

We three chose a dress and finalized the hairstyle and makeup. Then we decided on a pair of shoes, which shouldn't be pencil heels, and finally a veil. It was twelve by then. The stylists and makeup artists were ordered to be here by eight in the morning. 

I, in the end, decide to have a relaxing bath in the equally heavenly bathroom. It had a Jaguar and I wasn't going to let the opportunity slip off my hands. I reminded myself not to touch my hair which was curled and secured in a bun, above my head.

After the bath which might have taken me one hour, I wrapped the towel and walked to the couch to fetch my dress. There were a series of knocks on the door. 

It must be Rohanna or Cassie. I thought.

The door opened and the footsteps approached but I was too lost in looking at the dress. It was shining like crystals, embroidered and beautiful. Suddenly, a wave of emotions hit me and I could feel the moisture in my eyes. I wish my dad could see this day. 

Heaving a wavering sigh, I straighten up and gulp back the tears, blinking them away as my raw heart shuddered. 

Not wasting any more time, I scoop up the dress to run to the dressing room. I jerked back in my tracks when I saw Theodore casually sitting on the bed, looking at his phone and his one leg crossed over the other. 

Didn't he notice me here? 

My eyes widen with shock and I look between my body which was draped in a mere towel and him. I quickly rushed past him into the bathroom like a wave of wind. Just before I was about to press my final step into the bathroom, I dared to spare a glance at him. I found him standing at the foot of the bed and our gazes merely collided for a second. His mouth was open. 

I sprint inside without a second thought. I put a hand on my heart to calm the football match inside. After what maybe ten seconds or ten minutes, I don't know, I stripped. 

Damn, that was embarrassing. 

The creamy material of the dress slipped past my shoulders, peppering my body with soft, feathery kisses. 

The dress fitted me like a second skin and it looked as if it was made for me. Just me. The deep V-neck made me feel sexy and the embroidered sleeves that reached till my elbows. The fishtail styled lower portion was magnificently wrapped around past my knees, like an umbrella. I felt as if I was floating.

I put both my hands on the mirror and stare at myself, closely. My eyes were sparkling. I play a bit with my hair and my heart smiled broadly. I felt so confident and different. I giggle to myself and do a little twirl on my feet. 

Oh, did it even have a zip? 

I don't even try pulling it by myself after one failed try, fearing what if I break this delicate thing. 

I do remember hearing the door lock. Rohanna might have come. I open the door slightly and shout for her. "Rohanna, come here! See, this dress is so beautiful. You were right, this dress was made for me. Come and help me with the zipppp." 

After ten seconds. "Rohannaaaaaa! Come!" 

I fix my hair here and there, smiling giddily. Why am I suddenly so happy? I called her again. 

I hear the footsteps approaching and I turn around. I yelp and back off, resulting in me colliding with the wooden wall of the dressing room.

 Ouch! That hurts man. 

Theodore. He was standing at the door, looking as emotionless and cold as ever but definitely, I saw a change of light in his eyes when his eyes fell over my draped body. But again, I might be imagining things out of giddiness. My smile dropped eventually as my senses started working again. 

"What are you doing here?" I thought he left. 

"I wouldn't have come if you weren't shouting like a madwoman. Now let me help you with the zip." He sounded frustrated and angry. His face looked tired and ready to go into hibernation. 

"No need. You go now." I said pointing at the door as if instructing a child. Way to destroy a happy mood. 

He walked off shaking his head, without a second thought. I quickly changed into a pair of pj's and cotton top and hung the wedding dress on a hook in the dressing room, carefully. Who knows how much it might have cost? 

"Why are you still here? Where is Roh? She told me she'll come to have a look at the dress." I threw incessant questions and demanded impatiently when I found Theodore sitting on the bed again. 

"We are going to marry tomorrow and if I ask for two separate rooms then that will be suspicious. And about Rohanna, she's with Christian at the poolside." He stood up and began removing his tie and getting out of his tux. 

"What does that mean? We have to share a room for the night?" I dumbly mumble to myself. 

"Yes." He replied without giving me any attention and saying so casually as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

 Did I say babies come out from the mother's womb? 

NO, right? 

"I am not sharing a room with you." I declared, putting my hands on my hips, pouting my lips. 

Why was I behaving like a child? 

"I'll take the couch. Don't worry. Just let me sleep. Tomorrow, I don't want to fall asleep standing in front of the priest." He rubbed his face and then ran his fingers through his hair. I knew this is what he does when he was extremely tired. 

You know, waiting to go into hibernation /sleep? 

"That will be even better. At Least I won't have to marry you." I scoffed looking away. 

"That's not happening anytime soon honey." His voice was groggy and I felt bad but I recovered soon.

"No need, you take the bed. I'll adjust to the bathroom. Enjoy your night! " I said and paraded to the bathroom. 

"Good night to you too. Don't dream about me. I don't wanna hear you moan my name in the middle of the night." I heard him yell before I shut the door with a loud bang.

Cocky much? 

Idiot. 

I walk into the bathroom, passing the dressing room. I sit on the toilet seat for a while before deciding to sleep in the bathtub. 

Bloody fucker. Couldn't even stop me. 

The bathtub was still wet as an aftermath of my long shower.

He knew I'd come back anyway. 

I gingerly get inside and lie down straight.

Ughhhh. This was so uncomfortable. I could feel all the bones of my vertebral column clashing against the cold porcelain tub. 

Half an hour passed. I was still shuffling recklessly. 

Fine, I'll sleep on the couch. Who cares about me. Anyways, the couch looked delicious. 

Delicious? And here my tummy decided to grumble loudly. 

Oh, I haven't eaten anything after breakfast. Neither did I have breakfast wholeheartedly. 

More like whole-tummily? 

Yeah, right. 

I turn towards the desk instead of the couch. Maybe there would be cookies or something. 

While looking around the messy desk, I somehow, don't blame my brain though, my stomach is hungry, a jewelry box slipped off the table. 

That's when I heard him groan. Oh, the morning voice. So raspy and-

It's not morning yet, dumbass. 

Shit. Oh Shit! Shit! He was awake.

"What's wrong with you?" 

Sleepwalking.

 Yes, I am sleepwalking. I raise both my hands and start heading towards the couch. My eyes glued tightly. 

"Ow." I winced when my foot hit the couch.

"Give up acting." He said but I don't look behind. 

I keep my eyes closed and walk again and hit my toe again. Did I forget to turn?

"Fine!!!" I groan and fall on the couch holding my toe, back-first Chill, think of cow chewing the cud, he brings up the food back into his mouth from the stomach-

"Ughhhh… it's not helping! I think I broke my toe." I whined. 

"Here, show me." He said walking up to me, still sleepy. His eyes were barely open. 

Obviously, he'll be sleepy. You disturbed his sleep in the middle of the night. Dummy. 

"No, you'd damage it more." I retreat my foot when he kneels down in front of me. 

"Shut up." He snatched my foot forcefully with his large palm. Bossy much! 

His fingers delicately skim my toes, examining like a pro. He twists my toe gently and carefully. Goosebumps rippled up my leg and I bit my lip to stop wincing. Actually moaning.

My stomach roars in hunger. 

Could this be more embarrassing? Mother Earth, kindly swallow me now. I am done being on this rueful planet. Drop me to Mars. I'll play hide and seek with the aliens. 

Hide and seek. I feel like an air of nostalgia struck me.

My cheek blotches Crimson and I let my head fall low. 

I hear him suppressing his laugh. "Looks like someone is hungry." His eyes tease me and I look away, grudgingly.

"And yeah, nothing is wrong with you toe." He said 'toe' so weirdly as if it was an insect. 

He sits on the couch in front of me and dials a number. "Hello, room service? Yes, can I have a… butter chicken-

"I am vegetarian." I whisper-yelled. 

"And two sandwiches too." He covers the phone with one hand and mouths 'I am hungry too'. My eyes widen with realization and I nod.

"Tell them, there shouldn't be cheese. I don't eat that as well." I quipped like a picky child ordering his ice cream.

He raised his eyebrows but spoke nonetheless. "-without Cheese, please... Yeah Yeah ... And Thank you."

"Yippee. Thank you, husband." I smile at him. 

"No problem." He smiled back, a fake smile, mocking me. 

Our food arrived in less than ten minutes. I lunge for my food and I don't care if I look like an animal. I take large bites, trying to finish off. 

"The food is not running away. Eat slowly."

"Thanks for the advice dad. But I am running away." I tried to smile with a stuffed mouth. I must be looking like a panda.

"With whom?" He asked as if it was very interesting, playing along. 

"Why should I tell you?" I scoff, narrowing my eyes. Am I drunk? 

"Come here." He leaned forward so I raised my eyebrow and bent forward too. Maybe he'll tell me a secret. What if he canceled the wedding? Hallelujah!

His thumb brushed over the corner of my lip, his eyes boring into mine. I watched with expanded eyes as he brought his thumb up to his mouth and then his tongue came out and flick over it, a painfully sensual act. Something heavy dropped in the pit of my stomach and I unconsciously pulled my tummy inside. 

I froze in that position and gulped subconsciously. "And I prefer daddy." He murmured in a hoarse voice in my ear and a column of hair rose behind my ear spreading till the neck, like a forest fire. He pulled away from my statue and winked before walking back to the bed. 

Okay.

***

It took me years to figure out
that I wasn't falling,
but simply floating on wings
I'd forgotten about.
And when I did, I flew.

***

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