Despite this being the first night I finally get to sleep on an actual bed that feels like it's made of clouds and kittens I still find myself staring wide-eyed at the blank ceiling; a habit I've seemed to form whenever I need to get sleep. There's something that just feels so off about sleeping alone like this, Naomi and Katie took the other bed together saying how I looked a little sick after dinner and that I would need the most sleep. Jokes on me apparently I forgot how to sleep.

Sitting up slowly and letting out a quiet breath I glance over to see that Naomi and Katie are absolutely past out in what appears to be some sort of heavenly trance as both of them wear small sleepy smiles. I slide one leg over and out of the bed while the other is quick to follow and soon I'm making my way towards the large window that covers half the wall. Slidding the curtains back I take in a calm breath while staring out at the lit up city. Life buzzes in Austin even at this time of night making me feel as if I could never be alone here. Back in South Dakota the second the sun goes down it was as if the entire neighborhood was asleep already while here there's no such thing as sleep, everyone's to busy for that.

Yet here I am, needing nothing but a good night's sleep staring out at a city at one in the morning dreaming of staying here forever. That's when I remember what Jesse said to me earlier about colleges here. I've never really given my future much thought, I never really knew I had one for that matter. But if this whole thing gets taken care of and we do go back to South Dakota to finish up high school, then college is literally right after that. A future is right after that, and maybe even a future with Jesse.

I subconsiously let out a sigh as I think of him and get an odd longing feeling, I know he's in the room right next door but at the same time it feels like he's miles away compared to when we'd all sleep in the van together. Gnawing at my lip I begin to debate with myself on what I should do, I could risk waking everyone up by simply going into the other room but at the same time they do look rather tired. Turning around I realize I've made my decision and tip toe towards the connecting door.

My hands grip the cold metal nob as I turn it slowly and push the door ever so lightly making an obnoxious squeaking noise. Holding my breath and every muscle in my body I turn back to look at the two girls to see they're still sleeping soundly. Then I push the door just enough for me to slide in and gently close it behind me as I glance around the room in search for Jesse's sleeping silhouette. I pass my brother who's sleeping soundly closest to the door, and then John who got stuck with the cot on the floor. Apparently he doesn't understand the consept of, heads I win tails you lose, unlike Jesse.

That's when I spot Jesse on the far bed closest to the window, he's laying on his stomach with one hand firmly gripping his pillow as if he were having some sort of nightmare. Standing over Jesse I realize how completely creepy and horrendous it would be if he just woke up right now and saw me hovering over him like some cliche vampire movie. Kneeling beside his bed so my head rests right on the edge of it I gently poke his shoulder and quickly realize that that's going to do absolutely nothing.

Gripping onto his shoulder more firmly I shake him a little harder until his eyes snap open and he inhales sharply. At first Jesse's eyes move around his field of vision frantically until they finally freeze on me and he let's out a small sigh as his ragged breaths become steady.
"Kira?" Jesse whispers almost out of breath. Suddenly I completely forget what I'm doing here or why I woke him up in the first place and can only blink at him.
"Are you... ok?" he questions skeptically and reality hits me.
"I can't sleep," I murmur and his eyes soften a bit while his face turns from confused to concerned.

"Come here," he scoots back in the bed and lifts the quilt so I can scoot in right next to him. I slide my body right next to his and bury my head in his chest as the world suddenly turns right side up again. We don't say anything but instead sit in a sleepy silence as our breaths become in sync and his head stays tucked above mine and I finally feel safe for the first time in what feels like a lifetime.

                                                                                                         +++

"I can't believe you two slept next to each other!" John exclaims while tying his shoes, "That is way to sexual for this household young man!" he scolds Jesse while he throws on his own shoes.
"Nothing happened John, plus we slept next to each other all the time in the van!" Jesse defends.
"Yeah well we were all sleeping next to each other, this is bed, plus teen boy, plus teen girl. Those three things only muiltiple!" John crosses his arms while I stare at him with raised eyebrows from the door.

"Hey Chris they have waffles here!" Katie shouts from the other room before strolling in with some sort of breakfast menu in her hand.
"We are discussing this later you two sinners!" John points accusinly at Jesse and I before heading into our room no doubt to see what's taking Naomi so long.
"Well good morning to you," Katie huffs with a smile when she sees me, "And here I thought I was doing you a favor by giving you the extra bed."

"Wait what kind of waffles?" Chris peeps over her shoulder at the menu and they begin discussing waffles. A strong arm wraps over my shoulders and the sudden weight of a head on mine makes me turn my head upwards to see Jesse smiling down at me.
"Don't tell John but I think waking up to you next to me is my new favorite thing," Jesse smiles.
"And what was your old favorite thing?" I quirk an eyebrow up at him.
"Probably you eating a whole poud of barbequed steak," he grins while compressing a laugh.
"Ok in my defense we had just climbed a canyon!" I defend.
"You ate a burger after that and then the steak!" he exclaims while finally releasing his laughter.
"Do not judge my appetite!" I smack his chest playfully.
"I'm not judging I'm admiring," he smirks.

"Oh no! No! No!" John's voice fills the room again and suddenly John has himself wedged between Jesse and I.
"Leave room for Jesus you sinners!" he exclaims.
"Hurry up guys it'll be lunch by the time we get down there!" Naomi shouts from our room and soon I'm slidding away from both Jesse and John while my brother and I race each other out the door towards food. Let's just say a morning appetite runs in the family.

"Don't foget your key John!" we hear Naomi call from behind us as Chris and I fight over who can press the elevator button and before there's a winner the elevator to our right opens up with a very sophisticated buisness man standing in it. He gives Chris and I both a judgmental look as I've climbed halfway up Chris and we're both still in our pajamas, then he simply rolls his eyes before muttering, "Teenagers," and almost running into John who's barged into the large hallway at full speed.

Chris and I exchange a quick look before muttering under our breaths, "Adults." We all once more pile into the elevator, Katie still looking at all of her food options as it usually takes her almost an hour on to decide what to eat. The elevator music plays in the background as I peek over her shoulder and decide that the breakfast baffet sounds suitable for me right now and then burst out of the elevator door.

"Why are you so happy this morning?" Naomi questions with a knowing smile while I simply roll my eyes. That's not why I'm happy this morning― well it's part of it― but it also has to do with the fact that we're here in Texas and there's only two days, two days until the Fourth of July which just so happens to be my favorite holiday. The fireworks that light up the entire sky, the parades where fancy cars and firemen throw free candy at you, and let's not forget about everyone wearing the exact same colors which looks insanely aesthetically pleasing.

Getting in line for the baffet I'm quick to grab almost everything on the table and then head over to an open booth that's in the breakfast area.
"I was thinking," Chris starts off as he takes a seat next to Katie on the end, "That today we could visit the Narrows."
"Yes!" Jesse nods immediately, "I completely forgot about that place and my parents would never let me go when I was little!"
"The Narrows?" I question trying to wrack my brain for whatever that could be.

"It's this little river thing a little north of Austin where we can all cliff jump," Jesse grins at me and I smile at the memories of the last time we cliff jumped with our group.
"Yeah I guess I'm up for it," I grin while nodding eagerly.
"Well it's settled then, "Naomi nods before taking a large gulp of her black coffee, "Not that I want to spend another minute in that van."

We all mumble in agreement when suddenly Chris smacks Jesse in the side, "Guys," he raises his voice and points at the TV in the corner which is playing the news. We all snap our gaze over to a female reporter who holds a large microphone and next to the reporter is a picture of a girl around my age, the same light brown hair with lighter streaks in it, even the same grey eyes. She's smiling in the picture and my eyes drop to the words in white, 'Alana Cold Murdered'. My jaw falls slightly and quivers as I stare at my doppelganger who's presumely been murdered.

"Oh my gosh," Katie whimpers out and I feel my breathing go ragged. Suddenly I'm stumbing out of the booth and tripping over my own feet as the world sways back and forth and soon I'm headed in the wrong direction and instead of going for the elevator I'm headed for the stairs.
"Excuse me," I mutter pushing through some guests as they give me odd looks, "Excuse me."

Throwing my body at the door I stumble in and collapse onto the first stair as a loud sob shakes my whole body. Soon they come one after another and I can't breath. Loud wheezing and coughing erupts from me as my eyes go wide in panic, what is happening to me?
"Kira!" Jesse's voice echoes around me and I look through the ocean in my eyes at Jesse.
"No, no, no," he mumbles in panic as the wheezing and coughing continues as I get the tightest feeling in my chest, like someone just loosely tied a knot in me and then yanked it harshly.

I clentch my jaw tightly as I continue to sob through my teeth.
"What is―" I can't even finish my sentence as I lose all feeling in my right hand and it begins to curl up.
"Shh, shh it's ok, it's ok Kira," Jesse's arms are suddenly slung around me and I'm resting in his lap as he rests his head on my shoulder whispering coos in my ear.
"I got you, ok? I got you and I'm never letting go of you," his words begin to loosen the knot in me and I begin to breath regularly again with small gasps in between.

"What just happened?" I whimper out as I attempt at moving my right hand.
"You just had a panic attack," Jesse rocks me back and forth gently as I let out a small whimper of pain.
"What if― what if he found us? What if that girl died because of me?" I let out another sob and soon the knot snaps tight again and this time Jesse's coos aren't enough to soothe me and I'm sobbing uncontrollably as my head begins to feel light.

"Cause it's you and me," Jesse starts to sing, "And all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to prove." This causes me not to stop and listen but almost stop to laugh. Jesse's singing to me, like actually singing to me. My sobs become less frequent and shallower as I begin to listen to Jesse's voice.
"And it's you and me and all of the people and I don't know why but I can't keep my eyes off of you," he sings and through one of my sobs I find myself smiling and choke out a small laugh. Once more the knot slowly unwinds and I feel as if a I've just fallen off of a thousand buildings and then run over by a freight train.

"Something about you now," he brushes the hair away from my face and off of my lips as he sings down to me, "That I can't quiet figure out, everything she does is beautiful, everything she does is right."