I know not many people are gonna read this, but I'm writing it in case you read Drowning In Oxygen and are confused why I'm not adding a new chapter.

On Tuesday night, my grandma died. She was in hospital for quite a while, three or four weeks, I think?

Anyway, she started getting worse as October began, so I had to take a break, as you saw.

I came back, but... as I said above, she died.

I know I'm acting kind of nonchalant about it - google that word if you dont know it - but that's not the case at all.

I got told after I got home from school on Wednesday, and I was a complete wreck on that day and on Thursday.

On Friday and continuing on from then, I've been emotionless. I can't feel anything right now, and I really really dont like it.

Yeah, I'll laugh, I'll smile, but do I mean it? No. Not really.

It's my nan's birthday today as well, but... I cant see her.

It's her death day on the 18th, so school is going to be absolute hell.

^I do not care.

My mum - my grandma was her mum - is completely wrecked, which is affecting my family as well.

My brother doesn't really know what to do. Hes spending time with his girlfriend.

My eldest sister is spending all her time with my mum, which I really appreciate, because I cant be there all the time.

My other sister is upset, really upset, and I've been trying my best because my mum can't do anything, but shes got her boyfriend at the moment so it's okay.

My little sister doesn't know what's going on. She knows our grandma is gone, but she doesn't understand it.

I'm just trying my hardest to make sure they're all okay. I've got one of my grandmas stuffed animals, I'll be okay, I promise. I just need a small break for a while.

Yes, I hate October. Thought I'd mention that.

If any of you know me from my old account, you'll know I used to take a break because I just couldn't focus, couldn't do anything.

Yes, I cant focus. Sorry about that. I'm trying my hardest to be my normal, peppy self, but I hate October and anything to do with it.

If it's your birthday, though happy birthday :) I dont want you guys to feel bad just cause I dont like the month. I've just had a hell of a lot of bad experiences with it.

Have a great day, you guys, and if you need anything feel free to chat to me :)

~ Hunter

(I'm thinking of writing hunter instead of my username now. Cause why not. It takes too long to write my username. Not really. Sorry I'll stop now.)