I think I finally know why I'm so addicted to ships and fanfiction and X readers. I know that no one will ever love me that way, will never look at me like they need me in their life to continue on. No one will ever look at me like I'm the most beautiful person in the world. No one will watch me from a far wishing that I knew they existed. Wishing that they could hold me close and them be mine. No one has to read this. I don't need pity. I've come to live with it. That's just how it will be. I mean who in their right mind would look at me , the fat ugly useless girl, and see me as beautiful. Who would ever feel nervous around an anxious sleep deprived socially awkward girl. That's just how the world works. I don't need remorse. I don't need or deserve anything so y'all can save it for someone who matters.
Bye