Aaaah? How’s it been?

Another lockdown, right?

7:40, ten minutes before I put my phone down, was scrolling through my library and found out some stories got their name, some got different covers too. My friend’s old story was left untouched for a year now. it’s been almost a year since I’m here alone too, personally I feel bad for those kids who didn’t saw their school in 9th cause of corona and now they are at the end of 10th. I feel blessed spending my days in school in 9th standard

why?

Cause it’s the age of puberty, people change, just after vacation someone is a grown ass man and there is a weird energy inside you which was never before which adds the awesomeness. Meerut was the city which made me open up to many things like you can’t be that bad kid in Dehradun which in Meerut. Saw boys around me fight like gangsters (I mean like blood and all stuff), girls too (caught cheering them, WWE fan you know), met my life’s best teachers (both tuition and school), enjoyed every festival with our boy gang, made fake cigarettes from paper (nobody wanted to buy a real one or nobody thought of buying one) even healed our friend’s cough with that.
Smoked whole notebooks even the cardboard on front and back and so much in school too.

As I remember those days, I feel nostalgic and it also makes me really sad to see how I’m right now. Made 2 good friends in this school although there is still that feeling of emptiness which tells the heart inside has lost its warmth it had back in those days. No morning jogs with those people, can’t even wake early, no motivation to move outside, ain’t got a reason for that.

Ab Sab bikhra hoa sa lgta hai

I know the solution deep inside but don’t wanna implement it.

Things have changed

Things will change

that means we have to change too right?

That’s what we’re told right

But what if the change is so immense that it becomes harder to imagine it happening

*****

Don’t take these as some absolute truths, these are just my words which I’m writing down to express myself.

Remember this book has another name then a tag book.

I will publish the part one of evening talk sometime in the future. To be honest it’s a bit personal so I don’t feel comfortable to publish it now, so just wait until your boy becomes a bit more mature.

Poker Face

We humans are master actors, we say sarcastic lines to make the other person less worried about our situations.

Not all of us break in hard times and cry to express it, some strong willed like me or stubborn or idiots I may say just keep going even with cracks, poker face people say.

But in evening when the life controlling smart phone becomes boring, you don’t want to do anything and just sit down at your place. Things hit hard at this time, realisation of your past actions, worrying over what future has for you. At this point my eyes become weak but then someone inside me makes look hard again, the tears are locked inside. More cracks in the poker face.

Just waiting it to break apart,

Who knows what will happen.

I have completed my tea ☕

So let's meet again at some random evening again.