supernatural (1)
word count : 65,455
TW : mentioned violence, mentioned suicide (only talked about)
i lost motivation near the end of this so i'm so sorry if it's not as good as usual :,( this has two parts !
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
"Rising artist Choi Beomgyu abruptly announces hiatus! Why would this rising star of the art world suddenly disappear? When will he be back? Many questions from—"
click.
Beomgyu turned off his phone with a heavy sigh, the reporter's voice lingering in his mind long after the screen went dark. His gaze shifted to the rearview mirror, where his faint reflection stared back at him — a pale reflection of who he used to be.
Shaking his head, he tossed the phone onto the passenger seat, as if physically distancing himself from the noise would bring him peace.
It had only been three weeks since his announcement, but the weight of it felt unbearable.
The notifications had been unrelenting, an endless flood of pings and buzzes — a chorus of expectations and disbelief from the world he'd temporarily abandoned. Each message, each comment, was another reminder of what he was leaving behind and the invisible chains of expectation that had brought him to this breaking point.
Why? Why would someone as gifted as Beomgyu — an artist celebrated for his breathtaking paintings, vivid in color and raw with emotion — simply walk away at the peak of his career?
The public couldn't understand it. His work, showcased in galleries and admired for its depth, had earned him fame, recognition, and adoration.
He deserved applause and praise, but behind all that applause was a man who was unraveling.
Those celebrated paintings had always held nothing but beauty and life to the public's eyes, emotions portrayed in a beautiful painted image. Yet, they always held more than beauty; they carried the burden of his increasing exhaustion and pain that he could never fully express.
Every brushstroke that brought others joy felt like it was draining the life from him. The colors that once ignited his soul now felt dull and forced, the once-thrilling act of creation reduced to a hollow, joyless task.
He was tired of painting.
Actually, he was more than just tired — he was exhausted and empty.
He remembers how happy painting made him, how he was so gifted at it that each improvement was better than the last, that he had wanted to showcase his talents to the world and that's what he did!
But... now...?
Painting had become a source of bitterness; and the public's endless gaze on him only made it worse. Their admiration turned into pressure, their praise into expectation. Each canvas, once a haven, became a battlefield he could no longer face.
Beomgyu gripped the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles whitening. This hiatus wasn't a luxury. It wasn't even a choice. It was survival.
He needed an escape — somewhere quiet, somewhere far away. Somewhere he could rediscover the spark that had flickered and dimmed under the weight of the world's demands.
It wasn't until a few days ago, while aimlessly scrolling through possible get aways, he found a house for sale for dirt cheap in the outskirts of downtown Seoul. It was run down, a forgotten relic tucked away from the city's chaos, but it was still stable and livable. This was his last chance. A refuge of some sort, a place to start over... or at least try.
Anything to keep that fragile thread of hope from snapping entirely.
Being away from the public's eye, taking time to himself to collect his inner peace and hopes, he wants to find that spark once again.
The GPS chimed, making him snap back into reality as he focused on the road in front of him again. It guided him off the main roads, deeper into Seoul's quieter outskirts. The bustling cityscape gave way to worn streets and aging buildings. Beomgyu's thoughts churned as the house he'd purchased on a whim came into view, its silhouette dark against the evening sky.
For a moment, he was nervous, constantly glancing at the GPS to confirm where he was heading was right, the area was far different from the city but it was somehow comforting.
Beomgyu hesitated as he pulled into the driveway. The house looked even more weathered than in the photos: chipped paint, cracked windows, overgrown weeds. Only a crazy person would ever willingly live in a home that was practically abandoned.
He must be crazy then.
He stayed in the car for a moment, staring at the house. A strange unease settled in his chest — a sense of loss, or perhaps something heavier. The longer he stared, the more it felt like the house was staring back at him.
It was probably all in his head, the heavy weight that stuck to him like glue made him think ridiculous things.
He sat there in silence for a few seconds before the vibration of his phone startled him, making him glance over at the screen — his eyes widening when he saw a familiar name calling him, so with a soft sigh, he grabbed his phone and answered it.
"Soobin."
"Beomgyu," His brother's voice was firm, but tinged with a bit of worry. "Are you seriously doing this?"
Beomgyu closed his eyes and exhaled heavily, leaning back in his seat as he rubbed his temple. "We've been through this. I need this, Soobin. I can't keep going like I was."
"It's been three weeks, Gyu," Soobin said, his words coming out more harsher than he'd intended. "You don't have to disappear like this, hiding out in some... broken down house in the middle of no where! You still have time, you don't need to do this to yourself—"
"I'm not disappearing, I'm not hiding," Beomgyu muttered defensively, though the weight in his chest betrayed his words. "It's a break. I need to get away from everything — the noise, the expectations. I need time to think, to breathe, and maybe find some inspiration again."
There was a pause, followed by a heavy sigh from Soobin. "I get that you're overwhelmed, but you can't let one bad comment—"
"It's not just about the damn comments, Soobin!" Beomgyu cut him off, his voice cold and tight with anger. "It's about how I feel. I'm exhausted. Painting used to mean everything to me, and now it feels like nothing. I can't even pick up a damn brush without feeling sick to my stomach. Do you think I want this? To hate the one thing I used to love more than anything?"
Soobin was only silent on the other end of the line, his concern palpable even through the quietness he responded with.
"I'm trying to salvage what little hope I have left," Beomgyu continued, his voice softer now, laced with exhaustion. "If I don't do this, I'll lose it completely. And I can't let that happen. This... this house, it's away from everything. It's quiet. It's what I need."
After a long pause one more, Soobin only sighed in defeat. "I just... I don't like this, Gyu. That house, this whole idea — it doesn't feel right, it feels like you're isolating yourself. But... if this is what you think you need..."
"It is," Beomgyu said firmly, though his own conviction wavered. "I'll be fine. Just trust me, hyung. Let me have this, please."
"...Fine," Soobin mumbled, a wary shake in his tone. "But promise me you'll call if you need anything. Don't shut me out."
"I promise." Beomgyu replied quietly, unsure if he was promising to Soobin or himself more.
The line went silent after a brief exchange of goodbyes, leaving him alone with the oppressive quiet. Slowly, he lowered the phone from his ear, his gaze fixed on the dark, weathered house before him.
It loomed tall against the dimming sky, its cracked windows and peeling paint were stark reminder of its neglect. Despite its unfortunate state — or perhaps because of it — it felt oddly fitting for him. A broken house for a broken artist.
If he were honest with himself, he wasn't sure this would work.
It hurt, no matter how hard he tried to come back to the world he once loved, he couldn't bring himself to pick up that damned paintbrush and continue on without the weight of everything crashing down on him.
He lingered in the car for a moment longer, drawing in a deep breath to steady himself. Once he felt composed, he slipped his phone into his pocket, gathered his keys, and stepped out with careful movements.
The air around him was warm, the summer evening wind brushed against his skin like a comforting blanket, but... there was a strange chill that ran down his spine, making him shiver despite it being the middle of summer.
Beomgyu hesitated for a moment, glancing back at the worn down house looming in front of him. Its cracked windows and faded paint seemed to stare back at him, as if it were daring him to enter.
Quickly shaking off the unease that settled in his gut, he exhaled softly and walked to the trunk of his car. He grabbed as many bags as he could carry, the weight grounding him, and made his way toward the front porch.
The entire place looked like it could crumble at any moment, but it held just enough stability to feel livable, so hopefully he can last more than three nights without the ceiling caving down on him.
Stopping in front of the weathered door, Beomgyu fumbled with the keys in his pocket. The door looked as though it hadn't been opened in years, the wood warped and brittle from time. When the lock finally clicked, the door refused to budge.
Are you fucking serious? His face twisted into a grimace filled with irritation.
With an annoyed sigh, he pressed his shoulder against the stubborn frame, shoving hard until it scraped open with a grating sound. He stumbled forward, letting out a soft yelp as he caught himself, quickly standing upright and glancing around, his ears burning despite the fact that no one was there to see.
The interior of the house greeted him with silence, its emptiness echoing in his chest. Dust clung to every surface, cobwebs draped the corners like forgotten veils, and the stale air carried the faint scent of neglect.
Light filtered in weakly through the cracked windows, illuminating faded wallpaper and scuffed floors. Though it was worn and lifeless, it still held a strange charm — a quiet resilience that seemed to call out to him.
Beomgyu let his eyes wander across the space, his thoughts swirling. For a house this size, tucked away in a quieter part of Seoul, it should've been taken by now. Sure, it was a bit rundown, but with some care, it could easily house a small family comfortably.
So why was it abandoned?
A flicker of unease crawled back into his chest, but he shoved it aside as he set down his bags and turned to retrieve the rest from the car. It was just a house, after all. Nothing more.
Beomgyu spent the next couple of hours hauling his belongings inside, making trip after trip until all the boxes and bags were piled haphazardly in the living room. By the time he finished, his muscles ached, and his shirt clung to his skin with a thin layer of sweat.
The last box hit the floor with a dull thud as Beomgyu stood up straight, groaning softly as he stretched his arms overhead. Moving into a new place was always harder than it seemed — especially when he was doing it alone. Exhaustion tugged at him, but there was a small flicker of satisfaction in the back of his mind. At least he'd gotten this far.
He glanced at the stack of boxes, his earlier sense of accomplishment was quickly replaced by a wave of dread. The thought of unpacking everything, sorting through the chaos, and finding a place for it all felt overwhelming.
Later. I'll deal with it later.
Deciding to postpone more work, Beomgyu turned his attention to exploring the house. Starting downstairs, he moved through each room methodically. The kitchen, while outdated, was functional. The water ran clear, and the stove flickered to life when he tested it. The dining room was a decent size, and the living room had enough space to fit a medium-sized couch and a small TV.
It wasn't much, but it was enough.
Satisfied for now, Beomgyu headed upstairs, the wooden steps creaking loudly beneath his weight. The hallway greeted him with more of the same worn-down charm: peeling wallpaper, scuffed floors, and the faint smell of dust lingering in the air.
He peered into the first room, which was spacious enough to serve as a bedroom. It wasn't much to look at, but it would do once he cleaned it up. The bathroom down the hall was oddly cold — far colder than the rest of the house. Beomgyu lingered for a moment, rubbing his arms against the unexpected chill before stepping back out.
Actually, the whole house felt unnaturally cold, like he'd walked into a freezer rather than a home in the middle of summer. The cracked windows could explain it, but the chill seemed to settle in his bones, refusing to leave.
As he moved through the hallway, a strange sensation crept over him, prickling at the back of his neck. It felt as though eyes were on him, watching his every move. He glanced over his shoulder once, twice — but there was nothing behind him. Just the empty hallway, silent and still.
Get a grip, Beomgyu. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. Maybe it's because of the paranoia of being under the public's eye for so long.
Taking a deep breath, he finally stood in front of the spare room that was at the end of the hallway, opening it up as he paused.
The room was big, but just a little smaller than the main bedroom, bathed in the warm glow of the setting sun which was streaming in through the one intact window. It was just enough space to fit his art supplies and canvases, maybe even a small work table.
"This'll do." He murmured under his breath, stepping inside.
The room was smaller than the studio he'd had at Soobin's house. Living with his brother had been comforting, in its own way, but having his own space — no matter how run-down — felt better. This room, he decided, would be his sanctuary. A place to rebuild what he'd thought he'd lost.
Or at least, that's what he tried to tell himself.
The idea of painting left nothing a bitter sensation in his stomach the longer he thought about it.
Beomgyu ran a hand through his damp hair, closing his eyes as he tried to summon some semblance of happiness. He'd hoped this move would bring him clarity, but the gnawing emptiness inside him only seemed to grow stronger. It was a hollow ache, impossible to pinpoint yet impossible to ignore.
His stomach churned, a wave of nausea rolling through him as his thoughts spiraled deeper. Why is it so hard to move forward? Why can't I shake this heavy weight off of me? Why... Why can't I just paint, for fucks sake! Just paint!
He stood in the center of the room, unmoving, his chest rising and falling with shallow breaths as that same panic began to grow inside of him whenever he couldn't bring himself to paint. He felt obligated to do it, that if he doesn't fucking get himself together then he'll be left behind like all the others.
Needing a distraction, Beomgyu turned his gaze toward the window. It overlooked a dense cluster of trees, their dark silhouettes swaying gently in the evening breeze. The sun was dipping lower, its golden glow fading into the horizon and casting long, creeping shadows across the walls of the room.
The scenery and sight was beautiful, he was certain that if he had the motivation, he would paint this moment. But instead, all he felt was anxiety as his breathing began to feel heavier, even as he tried to calm the panic rising in his chest — the heaviness in his chest wouldn't go away.
Why? Why can't I just paint?
What's wrong with me?
Why... Why am I running away?
The questions swirled in his mind, each one laced with anger and frustration. His fists clenched at his sides as a storm of emotions roiled within him.
This is what I wanted, I wanted to be known and my work to be appreciated!
Why... why... why does everything seem to damn hopeless?
What is wrong with me?!
His vision began to blur the longer he stared out the window, trying to focus on the fading light filtering through the trees, trying to ignore the sense of dread, hoping it would subside.
Why... does everything seem so hopeless...? Is there something wrong with me...?
Am I enough...?
The pressuring words of people ran through his mind, the heavy weight of everyone's eyes, the feeling of them picking out all of his flaws and imperfections clung to him like mosquitos — he couldn't fight them off.
He should be happy. He should be proud. Opportunities like his didn't come often. People admired his work, waited eagerly for more, and yet he couldn't stop the gnawing dissatisfaction, the growing anxiety that consumed him.
In his eyes, every compliment he received were backhanded, every gentle gaze were filled with lingering anger, every sweet touch felt like acid on his skin. It made him so fucking sick he felt like he was going to puke—
creak!
Beomgyu froze.
The sound was faint, but it echoed through the room, sharp and eerie against the silence.
And then, without warning, a wave of cold air washed over him, sharp and unnatural. It prickled his skin like icy needles, sending a shiver down his spine despite the warmth of the summer evening.
His breath hitched as the sensation of being watched settled heavily on his shoulders. It wasn't subtle this time — it pressed down on him, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.
His pulse quickened as he slowly turned around, his eyes darting toward the doorway. He braced himself, expecting to see someone — or something — standing there.
But it was empty.
The dim hallway beyond was still and silent, yet an invisible tension seemed to hum in the air.
Something felt off.
Taking a hesitant step forward, Beomgyu stared at the doorway for a moment longer. His chest tightened as the sensation of unseen eyes lingered, heavy and oppressive. He knew this feeling all too well — he'd lived with the weight of the public's gaze for years. But this wasn't the same. This was something darker, colder.
Was he going crazy? He certainly has to be going crazy, there's no way—
wait.
Beomgyu's eyes widened slightly when he noticed something, his heart beginning to sink when he glanced towards the door.
It was opened wider than he'd remembered, its dark frame looming like an unspoken warning from the subtle movement. He swallowed hard, his stomach twisting in knots as unease settled in his gut.
It's all in my head, maybe the wind just... pushed it open more. He thought, rubbing his arms as he tried to chase away the chill, but the sensation wouldn't leave him. It's just nerves moving into a new place, Soobin's words are just getting to you, get a grip.
Yeah, yeah that had to be it.
The stress of moving, the stress of the media, the stress of his hiatus and his burnt out motivation to paint — it was all getting to him.
Beomgyu felt his body trembling just a little as his jaw clenched tightly. He turned his focus to a new task at hand, a distraction, that's what he needed at the moment.
He left the room quickly, ignoring the weird sensation as he passed through the doorway as he headed towards the stairs and descended down them with hurried steps. The air downstairs felt left oppressive, though still cold, he headed straight towards the pile of boxes in the living room.
After rummaging through them, he found the one labeled Cleaning Supplies. He ripped it open, pulling out a pair of gloves, a rag, and a bottle of all-purpose cleaner.
"This is fine," He muttered under his breath, as if trying to convince himself. "Just clean this house and it'll all be fine."
Cleaning the house was a productive use of his time, and it would keep his hands busy. Maybe if he focused on scrubbing away years of dust and grime, he could scrub away the weight pressing on his chest too.
Anything to avoid the creeping sensation of unseen eyes following his every move.
By the time Beomgyu had finished cleaning, the house had begun to look... somewhat decent. Of course, it still needed fixing here and there — cracks in the walls, creaky floorboards, a few cracked windows — but at least it didn't feel suffocatingly abandoned anymore.
All of the broken things? Nothing a little repair management call can't fix.
Beomgyu breathed out softly, the air a bit better than earlier as he dropped the last of the cleaning supplies into the box, standing up a little as he leaned against the counter in the kitchen. His body was sore, and his arms ached. His muscles protested every movement and demanded rest, but at least the house felt a little more livable now.
What time is it...? He glanced out the window, noticing the sun had long disappeared and gone to rest, leaving the world bathed in darkness. Holy shit, did I really spend that long cleaning?
Beomgyu furrowed his eyebrows as he grabbed his phone from his pocket, glancing at the time and noticing it was 10:07 PM, making his eyes widened at how lost he was in cleaning, but at least the house was clean and tidy now.
With a small sigh, he turned his phone on and slipped it back into his pocket, running a hand through his damp hair. The cold sensation that had unnerved him earlier seemed to have disappeared — or maybe he was too tired to care.
Although he was tired, he felt restless at the same time, and when he glanced over towards the boxes he couldn't help but feel a bit guilty for not doing what he's been telling himself to do, what he came to this house for.
He had came here for a new start to regain his spark for painting again, he shouldn't waste anymore time.
Beomgyu pushed himself off of the counter and walked over towards the living room, searching amongst the boxes for a moment until he finally found the box labeled Paint Supplies. He hesitantly grabbed the box from the pile and then turned to grab a huge black bag which contained his old canvases. Then, he made his way upstairs with ease although his legs were aching heavier and heavier with each step.
Whatever had happened earlier, the eeriness began to creep at the edges of his mind, but he forced himself to brush it aside. It was probably some part of my own imagination, don't get all paranoid now.
He made his way down the hallway and entered the room he'd chosen as his studio, nudging the door open a bit more with his foot as he stepped inside and tucked the box under his arm for a moment as he flicked the light switch on.
Reaching the room he'd chosen as his studio, he nudged the door open with his foot and flicked on the light. The bulb flickered erratically before settling into a dull, faint glow that barely illuminated the space.
He frowned. Mental note: replace this shitty lightbulb soon.
He stepped further into the room and placed the paint supply box on the floor, staring at it for a moment until those familiar emotions began to swirl in his stomach. Disgust began to churn, then twisting into frustration and guilt, making him sick.
He didn't want to open it, he didn't want to see the tools that once brought him joy, the tools that now only reminded him of how far he'd fallen. How useless and pathetic he had become because of his fading passion.
His mind was screaming at him, his body wanted to pull back, but he forced himself to crouch down and open the box. One by one, he pulled out his best brushes, paints, and other supplies, placing them carefully on the floor — he needs to find a shelf for it later.
The moment he set everything down, he quickly glanced away at the supplies, he felt so sick and exhausted staring at them. A constant reminder of the pressure he's been under was just ringing in his mind, with a small sigh, he grabbed onto the black bag and carefully unzipped it, glancing at the canvases inside of it.
Old paintings that he painted when his world seemed brighter and more beautiful when he made these.
Beomgyu hesitated, his hands trembling as he carefully removed them from the bag and gently took the wrapping off of it. Some of them were from his earlier days, back when he painted for himself and no one else.
Others were from his rise to fame — pieces that had been praised, criticized, and picked apart by strangers who didn't understand the weight of their words, how they affected him more than anything.
He stood up and carefully leaned the canvases against the wall, taking a step back to look at them properly. His throat tightened as his gaze lingered on the bold colors, the intricate details, the raw emotions he'd poured into each stroke and painting before him.
He used to love this. Used to love losing himself in the act of creating something so beautiful, showcasing emotions through images and not words, he used to feel free with a brush in his hand — covered in paint, spending hours locked away in the studio creating new masterpieces.
But now... all he felt was dread.
I wish I could paint like that again. He thought, his gaze lingering on the canvas before him. It was a vibrant depiction of a Jeju Island sunset, the warm hues blending seamlessly with the cool tones of the ocean. He remembered painting it vividly, the way the colors had come to life with each stroke, the way his chest had swelled with pride when it was finished.
He took a hesitant step closer, the memories washing over him like waves. I... I want that motivation again.
He knew he had it in him, somewhere buried deep. His body would remember the strokes, the movements, the rhythm. Muscle memory, they called it. He'd painted so many times that it was ingrained in his very being — but he couldn't do it.
He couldn't bring himself to do it. Every time he sat down to paint, even when ideas swirled in his mind like a storm, they evaporated the moment he picked up a brush.
All that remained was an overwhelming emptiness, a hollowness that drained him to his core.
The ache in his chest sharpened, like a cruel reminder of the passion that had once burned so brightly within him but was now flickering, barely holding on. It was devastating, like mourning the loss of a part of himself that he wasn't ready to let go of.
The thought of being forgotten, of fading into obscurity, terrified him. Yet, at the same time, a small, bitter part of him welcomed it. Maybe if he disappeared, the pressure would disappear too. Maybe then, he could breathe.
But he's scared... he's so scared... that if he does come back, it won't be enough. He won't be enough.
Beomgyu quickly breathed in a deep breath, wiping his eyes as he turned his attention towards something else, and with careful movements he grabbed onto an easel and set it up in the middle of the room where most light was. The frame was sturdy, but worn, a relic from his earlier days and a gift from Soobin that he couldn't bring himself to replace no matter how drained he was.
After a moment of adjusting the easels height, he finally placed a blank canvas onto the easel.
Beomgyu took a step back, staring at it with a heavy heart, and unexpectedly, it felt like it was staring back at him, empty and expectant — a silent challenge, a taunt, whether he could truly feel the joy of painting once again.
He stood there for a moment, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. The room was quiet except for the faint hum of the flickering lightbulb.
I don't know if I can do this, am I really worth this anymore? What if I can't please everyone? Will they even be proud of me? Will they finally see what I see?
Beomgyu bit down on the bottom of his lip as his thoughts began to swirl, only pushing himself to walk over towards his art supplies and down to his container of paint brushes. His fingers hovered over the brushes, hesitating before finally selecting one.
The handle felt foreign in his hand, unfamiliar, even though he had held hundreds just like it before. His grip trembled as he turned to face the blank canvas once again, the pastime surface glaring back at him under the dim light.
Beomgyu quickly set up his palette, squeezing vibrant hues onto its clean surface. The familiar scent of paint filled the air, an aroma that used to bring him comfort, but now felt suffocating. With a deep breath, he walked back to the canvas, brush in hand, staring at the blank surface as his grip tightened around the handle.
But when he lifted the brush, his hand faltered, the weight of it suddenly unbearable.
"Just paint," He muttered, his voice shaking as he tried to calm his nerves. His chest felt like it was being compressed in a vice. "Just paint something, damn it! Just paint... anything... something..."
He begged himself, pleaded for a spark, a flicker of inspiration, even a simple line. But no matter how desperately he urged himself, his mind remained blank, utterly void of creativity.
He stared at the canvas, waiting for an idea to form, a spark to ignite — something to break through the thick walls holding him back. But nothing came, the harder he tried, the more elusive his emotions became.
Then the memories came flooding back, memories he desperately wanted to forget.
"Your work feels so... lifeless now."
"I think you've lost your touch."
"Is this all you can do now?"
"I was expecting more."
"It just looks like every other painting."
Each comment replayed in his mind over and over again, their sharp edges cutting deeper with every repetition. The memories of how disappointed some people looked, the overwhelming expectations to improve faster than he could bear, the god awful feeling of being compared to someone better than him — it was too much.
His chest felt heavy, his breathing shallow the longer he stared at the blank canvas. His hand gripped the brush tighter as panic started to slowly settle in, bubbling more just beneath the surface.
Just one stroke. Just one line.
He tried to push through it, dipping the brush into the paint with trembling hands. As the bristles hovered over the canvas, he froze, unable to move, unable to decide. His stomach churned, nausea rising as sweat beaded on his forehead at the fear crashing down on him.
The pressure was becoming suffocating.
Calm down. Just paint. It's just painting. You've done this a thousand times before. Just... just paint.
Beomgyu tried to steady himself, gripping the brush tighter as if holding onto it would somehow anchor him. But his breathing only quickened, shallow and uneven, as his chest grew tighter. His heart pounded in his ears, drowning out his thoughts.
There was a faint, sharp ringing in his ears now, one that refused to be ignored. The room seemed to shrink, the walls closing in as the light flickered above him. The weight of his own expectations pressed down on him until his legs felt like they might give out.
He had to paint.
If he didn't, he'd be forgotten.
He had to do this — not just for himself, but for everyone who had ever believed in him.
He needed to get his inspiration back. He needed to prove that he wasn't a failure, that he still had worth.
Because without art, who was he?
Without his talent, what was left of him?
He gritted his teeth, his mind spiraling, thoughts racing uncontrollably. He was nothing without art. He was nobody if he couldn't do this.
This is all I have left. I have to—
CRASH!
The sudden, deafening sound shattered his thoughts right away. The sound reverberating through the house like a thunder clap, causing him to be caught off guard as the brush slipped from his trembling hand, clattering hollowly against the floor as he froze.
What the... what the hell was that...? He turned to look towards the doorway, his eyes wide as his heart began to race for an entirely different reason now.
The noise had come from downstairs.
A weird, twisted feeling began to form in his gut when he realized the exact location on where the loud crash had come from, his throat tightening in horror.
From the kitchen.
Beomgyu swallowed hard, his throat dry, as usual ease crept over him like a shadow. Every nerve in his body screamed at him to stay put and stay inside the room, but the oppressive silence that followed the crash was almost worse than the sound itself.
He had to check it out, someone could've broken in. Or worse, someone could've found his address to stalk him.
Beomgyu took a deep breath as he gently placed the palette and brush down onto the floor before he stepped towards the door, the floor creaking loudly beneath his weight. His pulse hammered in his ears and his senses were screaming at him to retreat as he peered into the dark hallway.
Nothing.
The house was still, only silent despite the loud crash earlier, as if nothing had ever happened.
But something felt off.
Gathering what little courage he could muster, he took a shaky breath and walked out of the room, the cold air greeting him as he headed towards the stairs, each step feeling heavier than the last.
Something wasn't right, there was something here inside the house.
There had to be.
Maybe it's Soobin hyung paying a visit...? He tried tricking his mind to think otherwise. Or maybe it's Yeonjun hyung sneaking in again? But... he's doesn't know where he lives.
Beomgyu carefully descended the stairs slowly, each creak of the old wooden steps reverberating through the unsettling silence of the house. His hand trailed lightly along the railing as he tried to steady himself, his heart pounding against his ribs.
As soon as he reached the floor, Beomgyu hesitated, his eyes sweeping over the dimly lit living room. Everything appeared untouched, just as he'd left it. The faint outlines of boxes loomed in the shadows, and nothing seemed out of place.
But maybe it was because it was dark in the house.
"Hello?" He called out, his voice hesitant, barely above a whisper. "Soobin hyung?"
No reply. The house remained eerily quiet, the kind of silence that made his skin crawl.
He lingered for a moment, glancing toward the corners of the room, before turning to head toward the kitchen. The faint silver glow of moonlight streamed through the cracked windows, casting fractured patterns of light across the floor.
Beomgyu tread carefully, his footsteps barely making a sound as he entered the kitchen. His gaze darted around the room until it finally landed on the cause of the disturbance.
A shattered plate lay scattered on the floor, jagged shards reflecting the moonlight like broken glass.
"What the...?" He muttered, stepping closer.
His brows furrowed as he stared at the broken dish, trying to piece together how it had ended up there. Had he placed it improperly earlier? Had it slipped off the counter somehow? He could barely remember if he unpacked all of his stuff or not.
Shaking his head, he grabbed the broom and dustpan he'd tucked into a corner earlier. He crouched back down, carefully sweeping up the larger shards first, the rhythmic motion calming his nerves just enough to keep his thoughts steady.
The faint scrape of broken porcelain against the floor filled the silence. For a fleeting moment, he felt grounded again, as if this was just another tedious task.
But then, as he turned to throw the shards into the trash, he froze.
His breath caught, his body going rigid.
On the counter behind him was something that hadn't been there before.
A single white lily.
It was pristine, full of life and health. Its petals smooth and untouched by the dust that had coated everything else in the house. The delicate flower seemed to glow softly in the dim light, standing out starkly against the dark marble on the counter.
Beomgyu blinked for a few seconds, his breath hitching in his throat, wondering if he was hallucinating everything right now.
That wasn't there before.
He swore it wasn't there before.
His pulse quickened, his mind racing as he replayed every moment since he'd entered the kitchen. He swore it hadn't been there when he first walked in.
The grip on the dustpan tightened as unease crept up his spine. Slowly, cautiously, he set it aside and took a hesitant step toward the counter.
Each movement felt heavier than the last, his breaths shallow and uneven. His eyes remained fixed on the flower, afraid it would disappear the moment he looked away.
His hand trembled slightly as he reached out, fingers brushing the stem. It was cool to the touch, almost unnaturally so, and his stomach churned at the strange sensation.
It wasn't until a wave of emotions washed through him the moment he picked the beautiful flower up, making his breath hitch.
Sadness.
Loss.
Regret.
Yearning.
Hope.
The feelings radiated from the lily like a waterfall, pouring into him and pulling at his heartstrings with an almost unbearable weight. He didn't understand why, but holding it made his chest ache, as though something heavy had settled there.
The sensations were overwhelming, more vivid and raw than anything he'd felt in a long time. His head throbbed, a dull ache blooming at his temples as the emotions threatened to swallow him whole.
Where did you come from...? He stared at the flower, carefully touching the petals. I didn't see any white lilies around here.
He turned the flower in his hand, examining it closely. The stem was smooth, the bloom unblemished. It was beautiful, yet it carried an almost overwhelming sense of melancholy, one that felt so suffocating — as if it held an unknown story of its own.
With a deep breath, Beomgyu forced himself to gently place the flower back onto the counter, careful not to crush its petals as he turned around and grabbed the dustpan once again. Making sure he had swept up every last piece as he threw the pieces away and carefully checked the cabinets to make sure no other plates could fall.
While the white lily rested on the counter behind him, he couldn't help but feel like its presence was a strange yet eerie reminder of how unsettling everything had become. But for some reason, it also felt welcoming, as if it were trying to comfort him throughout the night.
But the oppressive feeling of being watched lingered, heavier than before, pressing on him like a suffocating blanket. His eyes flitted to every shadow, every corner, searching for some sign of movement, convinced unseen eyes followed his every step.
Once he finished cleaning, he set everything aside, unable to shake the pull of the flower. He grabbed it again, holding it close. For reasons he couldn't explain, it felt... important, as though it belonged with him.
With the lily in hand, Beomgyu decided to head upstairs, wanting to escape the eerie stillness of the lower floor. He confirmed everything was in place — more or less — and made his way toward the staircase. His footsteps echoed softly against the hardwood, the only sound breaking the silence.
But as he reached the base of the staircase, he froze, his blood running cold.
His breath hitched, his heart pounding violently in his chest as his wide eyes locked onto the sight before him.
At the top of the stairs, silhouetted against the faint moonlight streaming in from a window, stood a figure.
A human silhouette.
It was staring straight at him.
Beomgyu's breath hitched sharply, his heart pounding so violently he thought it might burst. The lily trembled in his shaking hand, its delicate petals brushing against his clammy fingers.
At first, he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. Maybe it was a shadow, a trick of the dim light, or his own exhausted mind conjuring illusions. But the longer he stood there, the clearer it became: this wasn't a mistake.
There was no doubt.
Whatever was standing at the top of the stairs was real.
And it was watching him.
Panic started to slowly swirl in his stomach as his mind raced at what was happening. His heart thundering in his chest. His legs which felt rooted to the floor, although he was begging himself to just run and get far away from this area.
It wasn't until the panic had slowly turned into anger, the idea of someone following him to his new house even after he tried to escape everything that there was in the art world — someone was still haunting him.
"Who the hell is there?!" He shouted, his trembling voice breaking slightly as it echoed through the house. "Who are you?!"
Despite his loud shouts, the figure didn't respond at all.
Instead, it moved.
It glided to the side, eerily smooth, as if it were floating rather than walking. It disappeared into the hallway, leaving the top of the stairs empty once more.
The stillness that followed was deafening, yet his body screamed at him to do something, anything. But all he could do was stare, his breath shallow and uneven, as his trembling hands gripped the white lily tighter.
Was it a stalker? Someone who had followed him here? But... but their movements looked so unreal.
Adrenaline suddenly surged through him, pushing him into action as he held onto the lily tightly and sprinted up the stairs, his footsteps heavy as it pounded against the creaky wood.
The air grew colder with every step he took, the chill biting into his skin and making his breath visible in the dim light. Yet when he reached the top and came to a stop, his eyes darted frantically down the hallway in search of the figure.
It was only empty.
No figure, no sound, nothing to suggest anyone — or anything — had been there.
That couldn't be right, no. He saw something, there's something inside of his home.
Beomgyu glanced around, the cold suffocating him slightly, more intense as before, making his fingers numb as he glanced down at the lily for some sort of reassurance.
There's no way he was hallucinating, he saw something or someone. But there was nobody, it was as if whatever he saw was gone, or maybe never there to begin with.
I'm just tired. He thought, his fingers mindlessly tracing the petals of the flower. Maybe it's all in my head, my mental health has barely been good lately.
With an uncertain sigh, he made his way back to the art room, the sensation of unseen eyes trailing his every movement which became unbearable — he needed to ignore it, it was just his nerves. He was just being paranoid. It was all in his head.
Once he was inside the room, the faint light from the bulb flickered overhead, making him freeze for a moment before he remembered that it's literally old, he's being jumpy for no reason.
Heading back to the blank canvas in the middle of the room, he gently placed the lily down onto the floor as he grabbed the palette and brush, hoping that painting would ease his mind from whatever he had just saw.
"Just paint," He muttered to himself, glancing at the canvas as he slowly swirled the paint. "You've done this a thousand times before, this is just another time."
But the moment he started to draw one single line onto the canvas, his hands began to shake uncontrollably. He stared at it as his chest tightened, those haunting thoughts screaming at him as he tried his best to continue what he loves.
What if I'm not good enough anymore?
What if It's not enough?
What if it's all for nothing?
Beomgyu felt his bottom lip trembling as he tried his best to paint again, remembering the euphoric joy he felt whenever he would do so. The hours he spent making sure every single piece was perfect and emotionally beautiful weren't for nothing, but now he was terrified.
If he comes back, if he does paint, what would it be worth for? He felt like it wouldn't be enough, that people won't be pleased, that nobody will see his work the same now that he's on a break.
His mind, what once held so many inspirations and ideas, beautiful sceneries to paint life onto these blank canvases were now gone — no inspiration, no vision, no spark. Just emptiness.
Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes, and a lump formed in his throat. He felt like he was sinking, his motivation burnt to ashes. Painting, once his sanctuary, had become a source of torment and lost hope.
Beomgyu dropped the brush, the sound of it clattering against the floor echoing in the still room. He couldn't do it.
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't do it.
Choking back the tears threatening to spill, he left the room in a daze, needing a break. He headed to the bathroom, hoping to wash away some of the weight suffocating him.
The moment he stepped inside, an overwhelming sense of dread slammed into him. It was nearly suffocating, mingled with a sharp sadness and an inexplicable wave of regret that made his stomach churn.
"Fuck!" He groaned, covering his mouth as a sudden wave of nausea surged through him. His brows knitted together, his body trembling as he fought the urge to retch.
He hadn't felt this nauseous before, no where in the house felt this bad. Why now was the bathroom so... suffocating? Holding a sense of dread and... another emotion he couldn't pinpoint right away.
Maybe he hadn't noticed it before, he hadn't really fully stepped into the bathroom until now, but god was it suffocating.
Beomgyu swallowed hard, forcing himself to take a deep breath. The air felt thick, sticking in his throat as he stepped further inside, every instinct screaming at him to turn back. He ignored the sinking weight in his chest as he moved to the sink, gripping its edges tightly in an effort to steady himself.
Leaning forward, he dared to glance at his reflection.
The sight made his heart drop.
His face was pale, his skin drawn and sickly under the dim light. Dark circles framed his red-rimmed eyes, giving him the look of someone who hadn't slept in days. Or weeks.
"God..." He whispered, his voice barely audible over the pounding in his ears. He barely recognized himself. Was this just exhaustion, or was it something worse? "What is wrong with me?"
Turning on the faucet, he splashed cold water on his face, trying to ground himself and look a little bit more alive. The icy liquid dripped down his skin, momentarily snapping him out of his spiraling thoughts as he breathed out softly.
But as soon as he stood up properly and looked back at his reflection in the mirror, something had suddenly shifted in the corner of his eye.
A figure.
It stood just outside the bathroom door, barely visible but unmistakably there.
Beomgyu immediately snapped his head towards the area where he saw the outline of a figure, his breath becoming heavy, that panic he had just calmed down now coming back.
"Who's there?!" He yelled out, his voice cracking as he rushed over towards the doorframe.
Right as he stumbled out into the hallway, his heart dropped down when he saw that it was only empty, that he was the only person in the hallway.
This is the second time something strange has been happening, it's messing with his head. It has to be the exhaustion, he must be exhaustion.
Beomgyu stood there panicking, reassuring and panicked thoughts clawed at the edge of his mind. Every instinct in him screamed at him to leave and head back to Soobin, but he forced himself to stay.
Quickly finishing up in the bathroom, Beomgyu made a straight beeline to his bedroom, practically stumbling into it as the bed he had remade earlier greeted him, it was the only comforting sight in the entire house.
For a brief moment, he allowed himself to breathe, his shoulders relaxing slightly knowing he was in the safety sanctuary of his room.
It wasn't until something had hit him hard, his eyes widening in realization as his heart began to sink.
The lily.
He'd left it in the other room.
"Shit..." He muttered under his breath, wanting to slap himself for forgetting the lily and failing to put his art supplies away properly.
He shouldn't care this much, it was just a damn flower — and he could always buy new suppliers incase the ones he left somehow break. But there was a weird pull, a weird urge that sparked whenever he thought about the lily.
He felt like... he had to take care of it, that he had to keep it alive and care for it preciously.
Beomgyu breathed in a sharp breath, preparing himself for the worse, god he's so fucking stupid — it's a flower for fucks sake.
After a second, he opened the door and walked out, his heart heavy as the cold air didn't seem to fade away at all, instead, it seemed to become more colder by the second, his eyes widening as he slowly looked up and suddenly froze.
At the end of the hallway, a dark silhouette stood.
It was more clear this time, its shape more distinct than before, and it was staring directly at him.
No, no, no no no no no no.
This had to be a human, this was someone inside of his house, mentally torturing him by the second.
Beomgyu's breath quickened as all the worst possible scenarios started to play in his mind as to who this figure could be and what it could do. Taking a step back as he tried to carefully bring some distance between them.
"Who are you?!" He shouted, his voice trembling, maybe if he tried acting brave for once he would drive them away. "How the hell did you get into my house?!"
The figure didn't respond. It remained still, its presence filling the hallway with an unbearable tension.
Fuck, I can't do this anymore.
Gathering every ounce of courage he had, Beomgyu reached for the light switch beside him and flicked it on, squinting his eyes a little as the dull white light practically flashed banged him.
The hallway illuminated in an instant.
After a moment, his eyes quickly adjusted to the lighting change, looking down the hallway to see the figure — only to see nothing was there.
What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck.
Beomgyu's eyebrows furrowed in frustration, he swore he saw something, there was someone definitely standing there at the end of the hallway.
Nope, I can't do this anymore. I need to call it a night.
He stumbled down the hallway to the art room, his panic rising with every step that eyes were watching him. He quickly grabbed the white lily off of the ground, glancing at the art supplies before he scoffed and quickly exited the room, turning off the light as he headed back to his room — slamming the door shut behind him.
Beomgyu breathed out softly, slowly sliding down against the door, clutching the lily close to his chest as his breaths came out in shallow gasps as he tried to steady himself.
It was all in his head, he was just tired, paranoid.
He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the door, holding onto the lily tight but carefully as if it could shield him from the rising panic clawing at his chest. He just needed to slow down, force himself to breathe properly, in and out. In and out—
Thud.
Beomgyu felt his breath hitch, his eyes snapping open as a sound echoed out from somewhere outside his room. His mind racing wondering if he had heard wrong.
Thud. Thud. Thud.
No. He wasn't hearing things, those were footsteps. Actual human like footsteps.
They were slow, deliberate, and impossibly heavy. Each one sending a chill rippling down his spine. Beomgyu gripped the lily tighter, his knuckles whitening as the sound grew louder, closer.
It wasn't until it stopped just outside his door.
Beomgyu held his breath, immediately clasping a hand over his mouth as he pressed himself against the door, squeezing his eyes shut as if that would make it all disappear. The silence stretched, thick and suffocating, making him extremely nauseous—
bzzt! bzzt! bzzt!
"Oh fuck!" Beomgyu yelped loudly, immediately dropping the lily as the sound of his phone buzzing shattered through the silence.
His hands immediately fumbled as he pulled the device from his pocket, his heart racing from the initial shock as the bright screen illuminated in the dim room.
Soobin.
The sight of his brother's name popping up made him just a little bit calmer, and after a moment, he tried calming his breath as he answered. "Hyung?"
"Hey, Gyu," Soobin spoke up, his tone gentle and careful. "I know it's late, but I just wanted to check in on you."
"...oh."
There was an awkward silence for a moment, until Soobin sighed softly. "Beomgyu, are you okay? You sound... off."
That made him flinch, swallowing a heavy lump in his throat as he quickly forced himself to sound casual. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just... tired from cleaning the house all day."
"Oh, you did?" Soobin replied, sounding more relaxed — but he just wished he would hang up. "How's the house so far? You settling in okay?"
Beomgyu hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering down towards the white lily as the feeling of the door against his back became heavier. "It's... fine. Just a little old, needs some work. But it's still good, I'm all fine here."
"That sounds good, fixing it shouldn't be hard," Soobin replied, but then his tone shifted as he carefully asked the next thing. "...And... how's painting? Have you gotten your motivation back yet?"
The question had hit him like a punch to the gut, his grip on the phone tightened as his anxiety had suddenly bubbled into irritation. "Hyung, I literally just got here. Do you expect me to find motivation in just a few hours?"
"I just..." Soobin paused, clearly taken aback by the males mood change. "I just want to make sure you're okay. I know how much this means to you, how you don't want to lose this. I'm just worried, Gyu."
A deep sigh made its way out of his throat, guilt creeping in despite his frustration. "I'm fine, Soobin. Really."
"...Alright, alright," Soobin relented, his tone softening which made Beomgyu ease down. "I'll stop by tomorrow with Yeonjun, help set up some furniture that we've bought for you. It'll be good to see you in person."
"You literally saw me a day ago."
"It's still good to see you, especially Yeonjun, who loves hanging out with you."
Beomgyu stayed silent for a moment, his chest loosening just a little as the thought of having his brother and best friend around made him feel a sense of comfort. "...Okay. Thanks, Bin."
They talked for a moment more, the familiar warmth of their conversation easing his nerves slightly until they finally said their goodbyes, glancing down at the white lily flower as he slowly brought the phone down from his ear to properly stare at it.
Despite the chaos all around and how many times he'd basically held onto it so tightly that the stem could snapped — it still glowed beautifully yet faintly under the moonlight. Its delicate petals so precipitous and gorgeous, yet radiating of sadness that made his heart ache.
At least the room felt calmer now, the oppressive weight from earlier dissipating slightly.
Beomgyu slowly stood up, soothing his aching limps as he made his way to the bed, gently laying the flower down on the nightstand before climbing under the covers, ignoring the heaviness in his chest and the faint lingering sensation of being watched.
He laid in bed for a moment, feeling faint regret for not getting himself to paint. He knew he had to eventually, he couldn't hide away forever.
But it's all so frustrating.
"Just one more chance," He breathed out, with a faint pleading tone. "One more chance to prove myself, to continue the thing I love."
But he knew no matter how hard he begged, he felt hopeless knowing nothing would change.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
The morning sunlight streamed softly into the room, warm and comforting, bright enough to illuminate the space but not enough to stir Beomgyu from his deep sleep.
He lay sprawled across his bed, the comforter tangled around him, his chest rising and falling in slow, rhythmic breaths. His mouth was slightly parted, and the occasional raspy exhale broke the otherwise serene silence of the room.
All was peaceful until an unnatural chill crept into the air, biting through the warmth of the morning. The cold prickled against his skin, burrowing into him and forcing him to shift uncomfortably. Grumbling in his sleep, he tugged the comforter closer, cocooning himself in a futile attempt to stave off the growing cold.
For a moment, it worked. The chill was forgotten, and sleep wrapped around him once more.
That was until something icy pressed firmly against his cheek.
"What the fuck?!" Beomgyu gasped, his eyes snapping open as he jerked upright, his heart racing from the sudden, freezing sensation.
Disoriented, his vision swam as he tried to make sense of his surroundings. Blurry shapes came into focus slowly, and his breathing quickened as he scanned the room.
Then he saw it.
A boy.
Standing directly above him.
Beomgyu froze, his breath hitching in his throat as his wide eyes took in the figure before him.
Holy fucking shit.
For a moment he thought he was still dreaming, but when he saw the person blink, the sight slowly processed in his mind.
Beomgyu froze, his breath catching in his throat as his eyes locked onto the figure. The boy was... breathtaking. His black hair, slightly tousled, fell around his face in soft waves, the strands just long enough to brush his shoulders in a mullet-like style that somehow looked effortlessly perfect.
Large, curious eyes framed by long lashes blinked down at him, their gaze intense but filled with childlike wonder. His sharp yet delicate features looked almost sculpted, lips slightly parted as if he was about to speak.
He looked ethereal, otherworldly, like someone who had stepped out of a dream. The sunlight seemed to bend around him, softening his edges and giving him a surreal glow.
Beomgyu blinked hard, his mind struggling to process the sight before him.
He had to be dreaming. There was no way this was real.
But then the boy blinked back at him, tilting his head slightly in curiosity.
And that's when it hit him like a freight train: this wasn't a dream.
There's someone in his damn house.
Before Beomgyu could think properly, before he could even begin to process who or what he was seeing, pure panic took over.
"AHHHHH!" Beomgyu screamed, his voice tearing through the silence as he shot upright, his arms flailing wildly.
The boy stumbled back, visibly startled by the outburst, his hands raised in what looked like either surrender or preparation for some kind of attack. Beomgyu wasn't sure, and his paranoia wasn't about to let him figure it out calmly.
"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" Beomgyu shouted, his voice cracking as he scrambled further back on the bed, his chest heaving with ragged breaths.
The boy's eyes widened even further, now filled with alarm, as he took a cautious step back. His hands remained in the air, though his movements were slow and non-threatening, as if trying to calm a wild animal.
Beomgyu clutched his chest, feeling the rapid pounding of his heart against his ribcage. "How the hell did you get into my house?! Are you some kind of stalker?!"
The boy tilted his head again, his black hair shifting slightly with the motion, his expression now a mixture of confusion and curiosity. For a moment, he said nothing, simply blinking at Beomgyu like he was trying to make sense of the scene.
"I-I..." The boy stammered, clearly caught off guard.
Beomgyu, however, wasn't about to give him the benefit of the doubt. His panic quickly morphed into anger as his eyes darted around the room, searching for anything he could use as a weapon. His gaze briefly landed on the white lily on his nightstand. Could he stab someone with a flower? Probably not.
"Answer me!" He snapped, his voice trembling as much as his hands. "What the hell are you doing in my house?!"
The boy flinched at the harshness in Beomgyu's tone, his expression shifting from nervousness to something... hesitant. Then, after a brief pause, he spoke softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
"You... you can see me?" He asked, his tone laced with a mixture of hope and disbelief.
That unexpected question made Beomgyu pause. He blinked at the boy, his panic momentarily replaced by confusion as if he hadn't heard the question right.
"What- What are you talking about?!" He snapped, though his voice was weaker now. "Of course I can see you, now answer my damn question!"
The boy's eyes lit up like stars, his lips curling into a wide smile that revealed a deep dimple on his cheek. He took a step closer, and his voice bubbled with excitement. "You can see me? You can actually see me! And— and you can hear me too!"
"See you? Hear you?!" Beomgyu's voice rose with frustration. "Of course I can see you! Now who the hell are you, and— ah!"
In his flustered attempt to escape the bed, his legs tangled in the sheets. Before he could catch himself, he toppled over the edge with a loud thud, hitting the floor hard.
Beomgyu groaned, clutching his head as he slowly pushed himself upright. The dull ache was nothing compared to the indignity of the fall. When he looked up, the boy had crouched down beside him, his big, curious eyes filled with concern.
"Oh no!" The boy exclaimed, his hand hovering just above where Beomgyu's head had hit the ground. "Are you okay?"
Beomgyu glared at him, his frustration bubbling over as he scrambled to his feet, backing away. "No, I'm not okay! Who are you? What the hell do you mean by 'see you' or 'hear you'? Are you drunk?!"
The boy's excitement returned near instantly as he stood up, his smile brightening despite Beomgyu's anger. "Right, I'm so sorry, I was just excited that someone can see me, it's been so long!" He said cheerfully. "My name is Taehyun!"
"...Taehyun...?" Beomgyu repeated, cautious and suspicious.
"Yeah!" Taehyun said, becoming more excited hearing his name roll of someone's tongue. "It's so nice to meet you!"
Beomgyu froze again, his brow furrowing when he slowly processed the words Taehyun has been saying. Something didn't sit right with him, there's no way he was faking this — he was way too happy to be someone drunk or on drugs. Slowly, he took a step back, his gaze sharpening as he scanned the boy more carefully.
For a moment, neither of them said anything, Taehyun only smiling while Beomgyu cautiously continued to back away.
It was then that he noticed it.
The sunlight streaming through the window bathed Taehyun in light, yet it didn't touch him in the way it should. His edges appeared faintly translucent, and his figure cast no shadow on the floor. The realization hit Beomgyu like a brick: he wasn't fully solid.
That threw Beomgyu off guard. Taehyun was a human, a very fucking pretty human at that. But for some reason... when he noticed no shadow on the ground and the fact he was nearly translucent... it was like...
...he wasn't fully there.
The color drained from Beomgyu's face. "What the hell..." He whispered, his voice barely audible. "What... are you?"
Taehyun tilted his head, momentarily confused. Then he glanced down at his hands and let out a soft gasp of realization.
"Ohhh, you're confused about this!" He said, holding up his hands with an apologetic smile. "I should've mentioned it earlier. But isn't it obvious?"
Beomgyu stared at him, his heart hammering. "What's obvious?"
Taehyun beamed brightly, as if delivering the most casual news in the world. "That I'm a ghost!"
The room began to spun as the words processed in his mind. His chest tightened, his knees trembling as he stumbled back at the news — staring at him absolutely dumbfounded and baffled, like he had just been told a bizarre lie.
"A... ghost?" He croaked, his voice barely audible.
"Mhm!" Taehyun nodded eagerly, his expression as bright as the sun.
Beomgyu's brain short-circuited, his entire body locking up. His surroundings blurred, overtaken by the overwhelming realization. His eyes scanning the males face for any signs of fault or lie.
But there was none.
Holy shit, Taehyun wasn't lying.
For a moment, Beomgyu wasn't sure whether to believe him or not. His rational mind screamed that this had to be some kind of prank or that Taehyun was just a drunk guy who had somehow stumbled into his house. But curiosity — and desperation — got the better of him.
Without a second thought, and in a last-ditch attempt to prove his mind was playing tricks on him, Beomgyu lunged forward, hands outstretched, aiming to shove Taehyun.
Instead, his hands passed straight through his chest like mist, leaving an icy chill shooting up his arms. Beomgyu's momentum carried him forward, and he hit the floor with a loud thud.
"Ow!" He groaned, the cold sensation sinking deep into his bones. His heart pounded in sheer terror as he whispered to himself, "Oh my god."
"Did you just try to push me...?"
"No... no, no, no, no, no!" Beomgyu muttered, ignoring the males question as he instantly panicked, backing away until he hit the wall. He clutched at his chest — trying to breathe. "This has to be some kind of sick dream! A... A ghost...? This isn't real!"
Taehyun frowned, tilting his head a little as a concerned expression melted onto his face when he noticed Beomgyu starting to panic. "It is real, I'm real...ish," He said gently. "And It's okay! I'm not here to hurt you — I'm actually really happy! You're the first person who's been able to see me in ages!"
Beomgyu shook his head, refusing to acknowledge the males words, his pulse only racing more. "Get out! Get out of my house!" He shouted, pointing toward the door.
Taehyun's smile faltered, but only for a second. He quickly composed himself, his tone turning lighthearted. "I can't really leave," He admitted with a small shrug. "Technically, this was my house before you moved in... and it still kind of is, since I'm here."
Beomgyu glanced over at him, a grimace forming on his face as he buried his face into his hands. "I'm losing my mind, I'm actually losing my damn mind!"
Taehyun took a careful step forward and crouched down beside him, but was careful enough to leave enough space between them. His translucence form shimmering faintly in the sunlight as his eyes gazed on Beomgyu for a moment.
"You're not losing your mind," He said reassuringly, his voice calm and collected. "This is just... new... for the both of us! But it's okay, I promise I won't hurt you. I'm not scary!"
Beomgyu peeked through his fingers, the calm tone somehow reassuring him slightly, but he still glared at the... ghost. "You're literally a ghost, you're fucking dead! How is that not scary?!"
"Well," Taehyun sat down properly, crossing his legs as he tilted his head, his big eyes sparkling with excitement. "Maybe if you'd get to know me, you'll change your mind! Ghost or not, I swear I'm nice!"
Beomgyu slowly put his hands down, staring at Taehyun in disbelief. His mind spiraled out of control as the weight of the situation began to settle. His breathing was uneven, and his eyes darted around the room as if searching for answers — or an escape route.
But then, a horrifying thought struck him.
"Wait..." Beomgyu's voice trembled as his eyes widened. "...If you're a ghost... and I can see you... does- does that mean I'm dead?"
The words tumbled out in a panicked rush. Beomgyu immediately began patting his chest and arms frantically, as though checking for injuries or signs of translucence. "I-I don't feel dead! I'm breathing, right? My heart's still beating! Oh my god, what if- what if I am dead?!"
Taehyun blinked at him for a moment before he burst out laughing, his voice sweet and delicate. "You're not dead!" He reassured quickly, his tone light.
But Beomgyu was too far gone, his voice rising in hysteria. "Oh my god, I'm dead! I knew something was off! This is it- I've crossed over! Holy shit! The insanity finally got to me!"
Taehyun covered his mouth, laughing even more as his eyes began to scrunch up as he trembled a little from how hard he was laughing. "You're not dead, I promise!"
"How do you know that?!"
"Because," Taehyun replied with a gentle smile, his laughter calming slowly. "If you were dead, you'd probably be a ghost too. And trust me, you're way too solid to be dead!"
Beomgyu shot him an incredulous look, his hands trembling as he gasped for air. "Then how the hell can I see you?! No human should be able to see damn ghosts!"
"I don't really know," Taehyun replied, shrugging his shoulders. He tilted his head a little as if he were examining Beomgyu more. "But I'm really happy you can. It's been so long since I've been able to talk to someone."
Beomgyu groaned loudly, his mind racing as he stumbled back, trying to put some distance between them.
"This isn't normal! None of this is normal!" His voice cracked as he gestured wildly toward Taehyun. "This isn't funny! I'm— I'm talking to a ghost! Someone who's dead! How... how did you even die?!"
At that, Taehyun's expression softened into something shy and apologetic, his smile faltering just a little bit. "I... I don't remember," He admitted, looking embarrassed. "I only have faint bits and pieces from when I was alive, but not enough to make a full memory. I'm sorry."
Beomgyu stared at him, his jaw dropping a little as his panic bubbled over again. "You don't remember?! That's supposed to make me feel better?!"
Taehyun hesitated, his smile faltered more as his eyes immediately looked around the room until they finally landed on something.
"Hey! I do remember something important!" He said enthusiastically, standing up as he pointed at the bedside table. "You accepted the white lily flower from me!"
Huh...?
Beomgyu blinked, his panic replaced by confusion near instantly as he glanced at the white lily. "What... does that even mean?"
Taehyun smiled softly, walking over towards the flower as he hovered his hand over it, as if he were hesitant to pick it up. "It was my welcome gift to you," He spoke softly. "No one's lived here in years — it was my home once, now it's yours. I wanted you to feel comfortable."
The words hit Beomgyu like a tidal wave, his breath hitching in his throat as his mind flashed back to the events of the previous nights. All the strange events that he thought he was hallucinating.
The lily on the counter. The broken plate. The silhouette in the hallway and stairs. the suffocating feeling in the bathroom.
"It was you..." He breathed out sharply, slowly looking over towards Taehyun. "You- you did all of that?! You scared me half to death last night! I thought I was hallucinating!"
Taehyun winced at Beomgyu's raising tone, his expression sheepish. "I... might've gone about it the wrong way," He admitted, glancing down. "The flower was supposed to be a nice gesture, but I didn't know how to bring it to you... so I broke the plate to get your attention."
Beomgyu's jaw dropped even further, unsure of how he should feel. "You broke my plate just to get my damn attention?!"
"I'm sorry, I- I didn't know how!"
The male groaned softly, running a hand through his hair. "And the hallway bullshit? That was you as well?"
Taehyun nodded his head, a bit shameful and embarrassed. "I thought if you saw me... you'd be less scared of me later on. And in the bathroom, I was just checking on you because you looked... really upset."
"Of course I was upset, Taehyun!" Beomgyu burst out angrily, causing the poor ghost to flinch again. "You— You scared me out of my mind, and it was all... what...? For my damn attention?!"
Taehyun nervously played with the hem of his shirt, glancing up towards the male through his bangs as a small apologetic smile twitched on his lips — but the smile didn't exactly reach his eyes.
"I just..." He paused. "...wanted to make sure you were okay."
Beomgyu's lips trembled, his frustration and exhaustion threatened to overwhelm him. All he wanted to do was buy a nice house in the middle of no where and get away from the public eye, find the spark he once lost again — but nope! Here he was, being haunted by an overly excited ghost who seemed happy to be dead.
God, he can't do this right now, he's seriously going to lose it.
But before he could completely break down, his phone rang loudly. The sudden sound startled the both of them as Beomgyu immediately stumbled towards the nightstand, snatching up the device with shaking hands.
"Oh shit," He mumbled under his breath, seeing Soobin's ID on screen. "God, this better be good."
Beomgyu glanced over towards Taehyun who stood still in his spot, eerily quiet. For a moment, he debated whether or not he should leave the room, but the reminder that the male was... dead, kept ringing in his head. So it wouldn't hurt if he listened in on some unimportant stuff.
With a small sigh, he answered the call and brought the phone to his ear. "Soobin."
"Beomgyu!" Soobin beamed brightly, clearly happy that his brother answered. The exciting tone made Taehyun's head perk up with curiosity. "Yeonjun and I got all the furniture packed up and delivered, we put it in my car, and now we're heading to your place!"
Beomgyu's mouth opened to respond, but his gaze flickered to Taehyun who had stepped closer and curiously stared at his phone as if he was wondering who was on the other end — his adorable smile and curious gaze made his heart race all over again.
Without even thinking, he blurted out, "I can't do this right now." And immediately brought the phone away from his ear.
"What—?" Soobin's voice cut off abruptly as the call ended.
Beomgyu breathed out softly, staring at the phone and feeling just a little bit of guilt for suddenly hanging up on his brother. But when he glanced over towards Taehyun, noticing how the ghost had tilted his head and grinned playfully, he couldn't help but scowl just a little.
"That was a bit mean," Taehyun teased lightly, backing away. "Did you just hang up on him mid sentence?"
He immediately glared at him, a pathetic scoff leaving his throat. "Are you seriously commenting on my behavior right now? You're the one who spooked me half to death and broke into my house — If you can even call it that!"
"Hey!" Taehyun pouted, crossing his arms as he stared at him with an expression unreadable. "It's not breaking in if I was here first, and I didn't mean to scare you I swear! I just... I..."
He paused for a moment, as if he were thinking about his words until he finally sighed. "I really need your help, Beomgyu."
"Yeah, right," Beomgyu rolled his eyes, breathing out a breathy laugh as he stormed past him and to the door to leave. "Whatever is happening, whatever ghost problems you have, keep me out of it!"
Taehyun stood there for a moment, blinking a couple times before he immediately trailed behind Beomgyu as the male stepped out into the hallway, his translucency figure shimmering faintly in the sunlight.
"Wait, please!" He called out desperately, following the male. "I know this is weird, and I know you're scared. But right now you're the only person who can help me. You can see me! You can talk to me! That has to mean something, right?"
Beomgyu glanced back at the ghost from over his shoulders, furrowing his eye brows a little as he made his way to the bathroom. The sweet smile on Taehyun's face made his stomach flutter, but he refused to give into this... this weird ass thing going on!
"It means nothing." He replied, his tone a little colder than it should be. "It's not my problem."
He marched to the bathroom, shivering slightly at the chill in the air as he stepped inside. Turning on the faucet, he splashed cold water on his face and brushed his teeth in silence, hoping the routine would ground him in some semblance of normalcy.
Oddly enough, Taehyun's voice didn't follow him. Beomgyu had braced himself for more pleading or playful quips, but the silence outside the bathroom door was... unsettling.
Curious, he leaned out of the doorway and found Taehyun standing a few feet away, his expression clouded with discomfort and sadness. The ghost was keeping his distance, as though afraid to come any closer.
"Are you... not going to follow me?" Beomgyu asked hesitantly. The question surprised even him — he wasn't exactly inviting Taehyun to intrude, but he wasn't used to the sudden quiet either.
Taehyun glanced up, forcing a faint smile. "I'm... scared of the bathroom," he admitted softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "But it's also your space. I didn't want to intrude."
Beomgyu froze, staring at Taehyun as a wave of unexpected sympathy washed over him. For all of Taehyun's teasing and lightheartedness, this was the first time he seemed... vulnerable.
"Scared of the bathroom?" Beomgyu echoed, his voice gentler now. "Why?"
Taehyun hesitated, then looked away, his smile wavering. "I don't know," He murmured. "I just... don't like it. It feels wrong. Like something bad happened there."
Beomgyu's chest tightened at the words, the subtle sadness in Taehyun's voice leaving him momentarily speechless. He stood there for a moment, staring at the ghost, before wordlessly stepping back into the bathroom.
He finished brushing his teeth and washing his face quickly but lingered longer than usual, his thoughts a tangle of concern and curiosity.
What happened to him? The question nagged at him, and though he didn't know the answer, the unease in Taehyun's expression earlier wouldn't leave his mind.
When he finally stepped out, Taehyun immediately brightened, his forced cheerfulness slipping back into place.
"You took long enough," Taehyun teased with a grin, tilting his head playfully. "Did you get lost in there?"
Beomgyu rolled his eyes, brushing past him. "Yeah, sure." He muttered.
As Taehyun floated alongside him, Beomgyu couldn't help but glance at him from the corner of his eye. Despite his best efforts to appear unaffected, there was still a flicker of unease in his expression that he couldn't ignore.
This was honestly so weird, Beomgyu doesn't know what the hell he should think at the moment.
He literally moved into this house a day ago, experienced the most craziest shit the night before, and now here he was with a ghost who demands his help and scared him shitless all because he wanted to be noticed — it's seriously unreal!
This has to be some sort of joke, like something part of my imagination. Beomgyu glanced over towards Taehyun who was walking next to him, although it seemed like he was gliding more than walking. There's no way this is real. A ghost? I'm seeing and talking to a ghost. A person who is fucking dead.
He wanted an escape from reality, a nice time where he could be alone and bring his spark back. But now? With a damn ghost by his side, haunting him, and watching his every move — it made him so uncomfortable. He barely knew Taehyun. And no matter how pretty the ghost was, he didn't trust him.
Beomgyu walked silently to the art room, pushing the door open as he glanced down at the scattered brushes and paint tubes he had left on the floor the night before in a frantic attempt to create something. With an exhausted sigh, he began focusing on cleaning up the mess while ignoring Taehyun who followed in after him, the ghosts curious gaze looking around.
"I watched you come in here and set up, but I didn't really get to see what you had," Taehyun said, his tone light and words harmless — although, it was kinda creepy how he admitted to watching Beomgyu. "I was afraid you'd be scared if I did."
"You still scared me, regardless." Beomgyu scoffed humorlessly, placing everything away as he continued to ignore Taehyun.
Taehyun, who didn't mind the attitude or harsh treatment, just walked around the room before his eyes landed on the canvases that were leaning against the wall, his eyes lighting up as they caught his attention right away.
"Wow," He gasped out in genuine awe, drifting closer to the paintings and crouching down in front of them — admiring every single detail within them, until his eyes landed on a particularly vibrant one. "Wait! Is this Jeju Island? A sunset in Jeju Island, It's so pretty—"
"Don't touch that!" Beomgyu snapped, rushing over and snatching the painting away before he could get too close.
Taehyun flinched and immediately stood up, blinking at him in surprise until a soft smile grew on his face. "Are you selling these?" He asked, his eyes brightening. "How much does it cost?"
"It's not for sale!" Beomgyu replied, a bit irritated and anxious, holding the painting so close made his hands shake. "None of them are."
"I don't know," Taehyun continued, his voice light and happy. "That sunset piece would go for thousands, don't you think? It's so beautiful!"
Beomgyu's grip on the painting tightened, only shaking his head as a scowl grew on his face. "No, I'm not selling them. I don't plan to, now please stop asking."
Taehyun watched as the male gently placed the painting back down, walking past him to go arrange the brushes once again — but for some reason, his expression softened as his gaze lingered on the sunset painting for a moment more.
"It's just..." He started, his voice barely above a whisper. "That sunset painting... it feels and looks familiar."
Beomgyu glanced over at him, his brows furrowing for a moment as he remained Taehyun's face before he groaned softly — rubbing his temples. "It looks like every other sunset, what's so special about it?"
Taehyun didn't respond right away, more quiet than usual. His eyes lingering on the artwork for a brief moment until he shook his head, turning back to face Beomgyu with a smile and a determined expression on his face.
"Nothing, it's not important right now," He said, stepping closer to the male who stood up properly. "What is important now is that I need your help! You have to help me move on!"
"Move on?" Beomgyu repeated, crossing his arms as he was confused on what he meant. "Like... from a ghostly relationship or...?"
"No! No!" Taehyun laughed, the sound unexpectedly soft and sweet, making Beomgyu's stomach twist in a way he didn't want to acknowledge. "I mean the afterlife! I need help moving on to the afterlife!"
Beomgyu's eyes widened as he tilted his head, his confusion deepening. "The afterlife? Aren't you technically already there? I mean, you're a ghost. You're dead."
Taehyun sighed, waving a hand dismissively. "I wish it were that simple. I'm just a lost soul stuck here on Earth." He paused, his expression turning thoughtful. "When I first... came back, I realized I died with regrets. Those regrets are keeping me bound here."
Beomgyu blinked, trying to process the words. It sounded like something straight out of a cheesy ghost movie, yet the sincerity in Taehyun's voice made him pause. Against his better judgment, he stayed silent, signaling Taehyun to continue.
"I think there are three regrets I died with, If I don't resolve them, I'll be stuck here forever!" Taehyun continued on, holding up three fingers before his smile faltered. "But... I also have to figure out how I... died. I can't even figure out how I died, so I'm asking you to help me."
Beomgyu stared at him in shock, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as he tried to comprehend all of these random requests he's suddenly being asked to do. Three regrets? Figuring out his damn death? What the hell?
"So you're saying that... you want me," He started, pointing at himself before pointing towards him. "To help you, a ghost, resolve three of your biggest regrets and figure out how you died so you can go to the afterlife?"
"Exactly!" Taehyun clasped his hands together and beamed brightly, if he wasn't some sort of ghost — he was certain he would be some sort of angel from how enthusiastic he was. "You're the only one who can help me complete it all! It's like fate or something!"
Beomgyu was silent for a moment before he let out a strangled laugh, shaking his head as he started pacing the room, his hands tugging at his hair — completely freaking out. "This is insane. I'm- I'm not a detective! I can't even keep my life together without wanting to cry, and now you want me to play some sort of ghost therapist-slash-sleuth for you?!"
Taehyun stepped a little closer, his hands extended out as Beomgyu paced around nervously, as if he were trying to calm him just a little.
"I know it's a lot to ask, and I know it sounds insane..." He paused, his voice trembling as his tone turned hopeful yet pleading. "...but please, I don't have anyone else. I don't want to be trapped here forever."
Beomgyu paused, glancing at Taehyun for a moment. There was a bit of sympathy in his mind that he had for the ghost, being dead and forced to wander aimlessly — searching for things that he couldn't achieve without help. But at the same time, he doesn't know how he should feel.
He was still going through his mental burn out, he wanted to be away from people, take time for himself to reignite that lost spark.
If he can't even help himself, he doesn't even know if he's able to help Taehyun.
"I'm sorry," Beomgyu mumbled, his tone softening as he walked past the ghost whose smile faltered. "I just don't know if I'm able to do it, I don't even trust you."
Taehyun stood there for a moment, his smile completely giving out until he quickly followed after the male, trailing with him as the both of them headed down stairs. "But Beomgyu, please! You're the only one who can see and hear me, it has to be some sort of sign!"
"Taehyun," Beomgyu spoke up, glancing over at the ghost, irritation bubbling in his tone once more. "I told you. I can't do it. Find another person, like some medium or something... maybe a priest?"
"They'll just exorcise me!"
"Well, maybe that's for the best." He muttered under his breath.
Beomgyu let out an exaggerated scoff at the cold feeling lingering next to him, descending down the stairs carefully until he reached the floor and walked over towards the living room where plenty of boxes were still there, taking up the space.
Soobin said he would be here soon with furniture, he might as well move everything so they won't waste time figuring out how they should squeeze things in a cluttered area.
Taehyun stood far, but not too far, watching the male pick up some boxes and move them aside. Although he couldn't physically touch Beomgyu to get his attention, he stayed close enough to make his presence impossible to ignore.
After a bit, Taehyun sighed and finally spoke up. "You really don't trust me?" He asked.
"Of course I don't," Beomgyu shot back without looking up. "You showed up out of nowhere, scared the hell out of me, and now you're asking for my help with... all this? What about any of that screams trustworthy?"
"That's fair, I guess." Taehyun muttered, his tone light but with a hint of mock offense. "But how about this — we can get to know each other and slowly build trust! You know, start with the basics and all?"
Beomgyu froze, letting out an incredulous laugh. "You think we're going to bond over coffee and small talk?"
Taehyun grinned. "Hey, I'd love some coffee, but, uh..." He gestured to himself. "Ghost. Can't drink it. But I can watch you drink it?"
Oh my god, that's so fucking creepy. Beomgyu shivered, choosing to ignore him as his attention shifted back to the boxes. With a groan of exhaustion and dread, he bent down, rifling through the clutter before carefully picking up one of the heavier ones. He stood up straight, ready to move it, when—
"AH!" Beomgyu yelped, nearly dropping the box as Taehyun suddenly materialized directly in front of him. Wasn't he by the wall just a second ago?! His heart thudded wildly in his chest as he glared at the ghost. "Taehyun, what the hell?! You can't just—"
"Hi!" Taehyun interrupted, completely unfazed by Beomgyu's outburst. His tone was cheerful, his expression bright, as if he hadn't just given the poor man a near heart attack. "I'm Kang Taehyun. I think I died when I was twenty, so I guess I'm technically twenty? Anyway, not much to say. I'm a ghost, as you can see, and I'm super happy to meet you, Beomgyu!"
Beomgyu stared at him, his hands gripping the box tightly as he tried to process the whirlwind of information thrown his way. "What... What are you even talking about? Did you just... introduce yourself? Like we're meeting at a party or something?"
Taehyun beamed. "Well, I figured we should get to know each other since you don't trust me yet. You know, build that solid ghost-human relationship foundation!"
"I—" Beomgyu cut himself off, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "You can't just appear out of nowhere like that! And stop acting like this is normal!"
Taehyun tilted his head, his expression turning slightly apologetic. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. It's just... I wanted to make a proper introduction. And hey, I'm being polite."
"Polite?!" Beomgyu's voice cracked slightly as he set the box down with a thud. "You're a ghost haunting my house! Polite would've been not scaring me half to death every five minutes!"
Taehyun's lips quirked upward, as if he were trying to stifle a laugh. "Okay, fair point. But technically, I didn't haunt you. I just... existed here first."
Beomgyu shot him a sideways glance, his exasperation and irritation softening slightly. Despite his irritation, there was just something oddly enduring about the way Taehyun's translucent form hovered nearby, his eyes filled with optimism and happiness despite his unfortunate situation.
He took a minute to fully think about what Taehyun had said though, the little pieces he gave him of his own self. He died when he was twenty? That's... so young... How did he die? Was it an accident or did he...
Beomgyu quickly shook off that thought, only sighing softly as he turned away from Taehyun and walked over to the wall to place the box down. "Just don't appear like that out of no where again, please."
"I promise!" Taehyun exclaimed, his grin growing wider as Beomgyu's tone softened. Then, almost as an afterthought, he added, "Oh yeah! White lilies are my favorite flower, by the way."
"Really? That's such a surprise." Beomgyu grumbled sarcastically, moving on to the next box.
Taehyun's smile faltered just a little, but he quickly brushed it off. He stepped closer, watching Beomgyu shuffle back and forth, hauling boxes with little care for his ghostly companion. For a moment, doubt crept into Taehyun's expression, but he pushed it down, determination lighting his features once more.
"Come on," He pleaded, his voice softening. "Just trust me, please? I promise I'll make worth your while."
Beomgyu let out another frustrated groan, turning to face him at last. He opened his mouth, ready to deliver another quip, but stopped short when his eyes landed on him.
For a moment, he just stared.
Taehyun's delicate features were undeniable, almost otherworldly. The faint translucence of his form didn't diminish his beauty at all — if anything, it made him seem more ethereal. His soft, glowing skin, those expressive eyes that seemed to hold constellations and stars, and that unwavering smile... it was disarming. And for reasons he couldn't quite name, it made his stomach twist.
He was hesitant, guilt flickering a little, he knew he shouldn't be so mean to the ghost — he wasn't asking for much, he just wanted a bit of help. But he was so... terrified, that soon enough, the kindness will fade away and he would dismiss him like everyone else. Only see him for one thing, one part of him, instead of his true self.
But Taehyun's smile didn't falter. If anything, it grew warmer, radiating a kind of patience that Beomgyu wasn't sure he deserved. And just like that, he felt himself crumble — just a little.
"God, this is so stupid," He muttered under his breath in defeat. Then, with a resigned sigh, he crossed his arms. "Fine. I'm Choi Beomgyu, I'm twenty-five. I'm a painter. I just moved into this house, and honestly? I'm already thinking about moving out."
Taehyun's face lit up like the sun breaking through the clouds when Beomgyu started introducing himself, the ghost immediately running to his side as he smiled brightly. "See? That wasn't so hard, we're like... best friends now!"
"Best friends?" Beomgyu repeated, he couldn't help but smile a little in amusement at the immediate jump. "Isn't that a bit too fast?"
"Not at all!" Taehyun declared, his tone entirely serious but his eyes sparkling with mischief. "I mean, you already know my favorite flower. That's, like, best friend-level knowledge right there."
As much as he didn't want to, he couldn't help himself. Beomgyu let out a light laugh, shaking his head in amusement at what Taehyun had just said — a fond smile growing on his face as the tension in his chest and the anxiety in his mind loosened just a little.
"Whatever, best friends, sure," He muttered, brushing past Taehyun, who seemed overjoyed to finally have someone to talk to after so long. "Now can you keep quiet? I need to focus and move everything before my brother and my friend get here."
"Huh? Oh! Yes, of course!"
The next fifteen minutes passed in near silence. Though initially awkward, the quiet soon settled into something more comfortable. Beomgyu worked methodically, hauling boxes and mentally cursing himself for procrastinating on unpacking.
Every now and then, he would catch Taehyun watching him from a distance, the ghost's curious gaze and gentle smile oddly encouraging, standing by the wall silently — at least he stayed true to his words and wasn't really bothering. Although, the staring was just a bit creepy.
Finally, the last box was moved, leaving the living room clear. Beomgyu groaned softly, sinking to the floor and leaning back against the wall. Taehyun quickly floated by to sit beside him, his legs crossed, cupping his hands together as he sat there content and happy with the company.
Beomgyu pulled out his phone and skimmed through a text from his brother: On our way. Got food. Be there soon. He sighed and slipped his phone back into his pocket before glancing over at Taehyun, who was staring at him with those wide, curious eyes.
"...So..." Beomgyu spoke up after a beat of silence, deciding a small conversation wouldn't hurt. "You said you died at twenty, right? How is it like being a ghost? Well... how long have you been a ghost for?"
Taehyun's head perked up when Beomgyu was slowly starting a conversation, a soft smile growing on his lips as he tilted his head and thought about it for a moment.
"I think... four years now? Yeah, I've been dead for four years," He replied calmly, but for some reason, that made Beomgyu's stomach twist in discomfort and pity. Dead at twenty. Four years. He died too young. "And being a ghost it's..."
Taehyun paused, his smile dropping a little as a glint of sadness wavered in his eyes, but he quickly shook his head and continued on. "It has its perks, I can float, walk through walls, all that stuff! But... it's also difficult. Peaceful sometimes, but it's so... lonely. Watching everything move on without you, those forget about you... it... hurts."
Beomgyu couldn't help but soften hearing that, his eyes wavering guilt and pity as he felt an uncomfortable twist stir deep in his gut. Something about hearing Taehyun talk about this made him feel bad, he doesn't deserve it at all.
He could never imagine being dead for so long, helpless and unable to do anything — only watch from the sidelines. It made his heart ache.
"I just want to move on," He said, his eyes shimmering as a weak smile grew on his lips. "To... just... 'die' peacefully."
Beomgyu pursed his lips tightly, staring at the ghost silently. Man... he knows he shouldn't feel this bad, but curse his weak heart. He was on guard, yes. But he wasn't a total monster and wasn't about to disregard all of Taehyun's feelings. He can't imagine how it must feel like being so lost.
"Are you... scared...?" He asked after a moment, his voice quiet.
"Scared of what?" Taehyun tilted his head.
"Moving on," Beomgyu clarified. "You don't really know what's waiting for you, right? So... are you scared? Wouldn't it be easier to just... stay here? You're still kind of part of the world."
Taehyun fell silent, his expression tightening as though the question caught him off guard. After a moment, he chuckled softly, shaking his head. "If I'm being honest... no, I'm not scared. I think I'm ready. There's not much left for me to 'live' for anyway."
Beomgyu felt his heart ache more for the ghost, the frown on his face only growing as he opened his mouth to say something, his lips forming the first syllable, but just before he could say whatever he wanted to say, a loud knock at the door echoed out through the house — making the both of them flinch after being startled by the sudden noise.
"What the..." He breathed out, his head whipping towards the door before his phone in his pocket had buzzed, causing him to immediately fish it out as he glanced down at the screen.
A message from Soobin lit up on the display: We're here, Gyu! Can you open the door?
"It's just my brother and my friend," Beomgyu breathed out, reassuring himself more than Taehyun. His body visibly relaxed before he glanced over towards the ghost. "They're here with the furniture and all."
"Oh? That's great! It'll be nice to bring life to this empty house!"
Beomgyu let out a breathy laugh at that, it was nice, but before he could let Soobin and Yeonjun inside, he suddenly paused when he glanced over towards Taehyun once more. Oh right, he was a literal ghost. What the hell is he supposed to do with company when there was a ghost lingering around?
He can't necessarily ignore Taehyun, he knew he would do something stupid to give away that he wasn't the only person inside the home.
As if sending his discomfort and hesitation, Taehyun immediately stood up and offered a reassuring smile. "Don't worry! I'll just disappear for a bit, they won't even know I'm here!"
Beomgyu tilted his head, his confusion evident. "Disappear? You mean... like, vanish-vanish? You're already invisible to everyone but me."
Taehyun chuckled. "Oh, I mean completely poof! Like, gone. No distractions, promise!"
"Wait, what—"
Before he could get a proper answer, Taehyun just smiled and faded away right in front of his eyes like some Cheshire Cat. It literally freaked Beomgyu out, one moment he was there — the next he was gone, leaving only an empty space where he'd once been.
A cold shiver ran down his spine, it was a harsh reminder that Taehyun wasn't human.
"Jesus fucking christ." Beomgyu muttered under his breath, rubbing his arms to try and shake off the chill. He stared at the empty spot for a moment, lost in thought, before another round of knocks snapped him out of his daze.
"Beomgyu!" Soobin's voice called from outside, his voice light and excited. "Are you awake? Hurry up! It's hot out here!"
With a resigned sigh, Beomgyu pushed himself away from the spot and headed towards the door, mentally preparing himself for conversations as he slowly opened it to find Yeonjun grinning widely, with a bag of food in his hands, while Soobin stood beside him, lugging a large box.
"Beomgyu!" Yeonjun beamed brightly, the elder excited to see his dear friend. "Delivery service!"
Beomgyu glanced down towards the huge pizza box, holding it out like it was some sort of grand prize. He immediately contained a scoff as he stepped aside and allowed them to walk in.
The pair wandered in, looking all around in fascination as if they'd entered a whole new world, their eyes scanning the space as they walked into the living room.
Yeonjun strolled in like he owned the place, his sharp eyes scanning the space. "Not bad," He commented, nodding appreciatively. "Honestly, I thought it'd be a disaster, but it's... charming. In a haunted house kind of way."
"It's not haunted." Beomgyu said flatly, though his stomach churned at the lie.
Soobin set his box down with a heavy thud, casting a dubious look at the cracked windows and scuffed walls. "Uh-huh. Sure. Tell that to the creepy atmosphere. Are you sure something — or someone — isn't lurking around?"
"God, it's just old!" Beomgyu snapped, running a hand through his hair.
"Yikes, chill," Yeonjun teased, his grin widening. "It's a good place, really. Just needs some TLC, that's all."
Ignoring them and their words, Beomgyu headed outside towards his brother's car, seeing the trunk wide open where he saw a bunch of boxes of different kinds of furniture. The warm air swirled around him like a blanket, fighting off the cold air that hit at him inside of the house, as he reached for one of the boxes, he couldn't help but think of Taehyun — how he had suddenly disappeared without a sound.
A strange pang of longing had hit him, and the moment he felt it, he quickly pushed it aside.
It was strange, it wasn't like he'd known Taehyun for long — at least an hour or so at max. Still, the thought of him sitting silently somewhere in the house, away from his line of sight, offering quiet encouragement and focus so he could talk to his brother and friend properly.
Something about it... the fact it was so considerate and kind of him to do it without a second thought, it made his stomach twist uncomfortably.
Quickly shaking his head, Beomgyu hefted the box and trudged back toward the house, his lips pressed into a thin line. Maybe this won't be so bad, he's grateful for Soobin and Yeonjun going out of their way and making time in their schedules to drive all the way out here to deliver new furniture for him along with bringing food.
But... a small part of him couldn't wait for the moment where he'd see Taehyun again.
Maybe he just a little curious about that pretty ghost boy.
"There you are!" Soobin chirped when Beomgyu walked inside, already opening a box while holding some sort of manual. "I think this is the instructions for your dining table!"
Beomgyu looked down at the box in his arms, then at the parts spilling onto the floor, dread washing over him.
Yeah, this was going to take a while.
For the next three hours — long, grueling hours — the three of them spent hauling furniture box after furniture box inside, painstakingly assembling pieces, and rearranging them over and over again until everything looked "just right." Which, of course, took forever.
Soobin, as it turned out, was a disaster at following instructions, which didn't help their already fragile morale. By the time they'd finally finished setting up the coffee table and TV, Beomgyu collapsed against the wall, his muscles aching from all the lifting and maneuvering. He swiped his damp hair out of his eyes, his breaths coming out heavy and uneven.
God, all he wanted was to crawl into bed and forget this day.
"So... Beomgyu," Soobin started tentatively, fiddling with the large wooden table meant for the art room upstairs. "Have... have you found... any inspiration or... anything for painting yet?"
Beomgyu's shoulders immediately stiffened at the question, his jaw tightening as he avoided Soobin's gaze, focusing instead on a now interesting smudge on the wall from across the room. He knew this was going to happen eventually, ever since he announced his hiatus from the art world — Soobin has been nothing but irritating with how much he's been pestering him about it all.
He knows his brother just cares, he's seen him from day one (literally) when he started his art career. He's seen him at the highest and lowest points of his life, so when he had announced his hiatus so suddenly — it just made him concerned.
But still, the constant reminders of what he was desperately hiding from when he should get it back, made his stomach churn in discomfort.
"I don't know," Beomgyu finally replied, his voice flat and devoid of emotion. "Not yet."
He honestly wanted to drop it right then and there, the anxiety that was weighing on him, the sudden guilt that crept in — it was all too much. Even though Soobin didn't mean it in that way, it made him feel so guilty that he couldn't get anything out, it made him feel guilty that there were so many people waiting for him, looking up to him, and he can't get himself to pick up the damn brush.
It was making him overwhelmed.
Soobin, who didn't notice the warning tone, just smiled softly. "I know you can do it, Gyu. But you do know everyone misses you, even though the media calmed down — people are still asking about you."
I don't want them asking about me.
"They miss you and your art."
They don't miss me. They just miss the art.
"Everyone is worried about you."
No they're not.
Yeonjun, who'd been quiet until now, chimed in, his voice far too casual. "It's really a shame, Gyu. We understand how you feel, but you're so talented. If you ever need anything, just let us know and—"
"I don't need anything!" Beomgyu finally snapped, his voice sharp as a blade as he stood up.
The room instantly fell silent, both boys pausing their work as they stared at him in shock, the tension thick and suffocating. Beomgyu's hands began to tremble as he exhaled harshly, taking a hand through his hair.
"I can't even stand to look at a damn canvas right now, let alone paint on it," He breathed out, irritation coursing through his veins. "The idea of picking up a brush makes me feel so sick to my stomach. So don't say you understand when you don't understand."
The heavy silence that followed after was suffocating. The tension in the room thick and heavy that left no room for anything else. Beomgyu's chest rose and fell with uneven breaths, his heart pounding so loudly he could barely think properly.
Soobin shifted uncomfortably, glancing at Yeonjun, who looked equally stunned. For a moment, neither of them said anything, the awkward tension pressing heavier and heavier until it was nearly unbearable for them.
Finally, it was Yeonjun who broke the silence. His voice was softer this time, careful.
"Hey... Gyu, we didn't mean to push you," Be held his hands up in a gesture of peace. "We just... wanted to help."
Beomgyu's jaw clenched, his gaze fixed firmly on the floor. The guilt was back, sharper now, twisting in his chest like a knife. They didn't deserve his anger. He knew that. But knowing didn't make it any easier to rein in the whirlwind of frustration and shame spiraling inside him.
"Yeah," Soobin spoke up, careful this time, yet his eyes held pity. "We're sorry, Beom."
"I know," He muttered, barely above a whisper. His voice sounded foreign to his own ears — raw and drained. "I know you're just trying to help. But... I can't. I just can't."
Soobin tilted his head, the pity in his expression only deepened, making Beomgyu sick to his stomach. "You don't have to do anything you're not ready for. We're not here to force you back into anything." He hesitated for a moment. "But you can't keep burying yourself like this. You need to let what's holding yourself back and heal."
Heal.
The word had hit Beomgyu harder than he expected... but.. wasn't that he wanted? To heal? To find his lost passion and spark again? So why... why did it feel so impossible? No matter what others say, it feels so hopeless chasing after something that felt lost.
The weight of their concern pressed down on him, suffocating. But after a long pause, he still couldn't bring himself to accept their help.
This was his burden.
His problem.
This was his burnt out emotions, not theirs.
"I'm fine." He mumbled, his voice trembling slightly.
He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince them or himself.
"Beomgyu." Soobin said again, more firmly this time.
Before he could respond with another excuse, a flicker of movement caught his attention from the corner of his eye. His words stalled, and his gaze slowly lifted toward the staircase. His breath hitched.
There, sitting casually at the top of the stairs, was Taehyun.
The ghost sat cross-legged, holding a single white lily in his delicate fingers, tracing the petals as if lost in thought. The sunlight streaming through the window bathed him in a soft, almost ethereal glow, making him look impossibly serene. His expression was calm, unreadable, but his eyes...
There was something in his eyes — a quiet, unwavering encouragement. Beomgyu didn't hear the words, but he felt them all the same.
I'm here.
For a moment, a flicker of panic rushed through him. What if Taehyun said something? What if he came down and brought up the one thing Beomgyu couldn't handle at the moment — painting. It would drive him insane.
But Taehyun did nothing of the sort. Instead, he smiled, a soft, knowing smile that made his chest tighten. The ghost tilted his head slightly, as if silently speaking to him: You've got this.
Beomgyu stood frozen, his heart pounding, as Taehyun rose gracefully to his feet. Without a word, the ghost turned and disappeared down the hallway, fading into the shadows, leaving only an empty space where he'd been.
He stared at the spot, his mind swirling with too many emotions to name. The silence in the room felt heavier now, but somehow, a faint warmth lingered in its wake.
You've got this.
A strange sense of calm had washed over him, it wasn't much, but it was enough to steady the temper in his hands, enough to take a deep breath without it feeling like a struggle.
He wasn't so sure why but.. something about Taehyun had calmed him down, there was something about that damn ghost that made him feel... seen.
Beomgyu looked over towards Yeonjun and Soobin who had been standing there silently, patiently waiting for his answer or next words — making a bit of guilt tinge softly. The anger that was simmering had now slowly began to fade.
With a deep sigh, he walked past them and went over towards the next box. "Let's just... finish this furniture shit."
Soobin and Yeonjun exchanged a glance but didn't argue.
"Sure," Yeonjun said, forcing a lightness back into his tone. "Let's see if Soobin can actually follow instructions this time."
"Hey!" Soobin protested, his voice breaking the tension just enough to bring some air back into the room.
Beomgyu didn't laugh, but the corner of his mouth twitched slightly, almost imperceptibly. He wasn't okay — not even close.
But as he glanced toward the staircase one last time, he felt the faintest glimmer of hope.
Time passed by in a blink of an eye, with just a few hours later, the sun was beginning to set, casting a warm golden orange glow over the house and the world as Beomgyu walked Soobin and Yeonjun to the door.
The new furniture that they bought were finally in place, the once empty house now felt like a home instead of some abandoned shack he had found in the middle of the woods. Despite the chaos and the tensed atmosphere, the air felt lighter... but... the exhaustion still laid heavy on his shoulders.
Soobin turned to him before stepping outside, his expression soft but serious. "Take care of yourself, Beomgyu. I mean it. And if you ever need anything, don't hesitate to call me, okay?"
Beomgyu pursed his lips tightly, feeling a bit of guilt. He didn't want it to come to this, he doesn't want pity from others, this was his problem — not theirs. He didn't want them to worry.
"Promise me you won't hold in your emotions, Gyu." Soobin said, his voice soft yet breathy, staring at him with saddened eyes.
Beomgyu just stared at him, a lump forming in his throat as he tried to get himself to speak — yet, it felt like a chain was wrapped around his throat, preventing him from speaking the words he wanted to say. So with a soft sigh, he held the door open wider, looking away in guilt.
"Get home safely, hyung." He finally said, his voice quiet.
Soobin frowned at his words, but didn't say anything further, only giving him a quick pat on the head before he glanced over towards Yeonjun who was smiling softly, grabbing onto the elders hand as they began to walk outside.
"I'll text you when we're back!" Yeonjun called out from over his shoulders, holding up his phone, giving it a playful wave. "Don't miss us too much, Gyu!"
Beomgyu snorted at the elders words, shaking his head as he waved them off, watching as they walked to the car and got in, waiting there until they drove away safely before he stepped back inside and closed the door.
As the lock clicked, he leaned his forehead against the cool surface of the door, lingering there for a moment as he drew in a shaky breath. The day had been long, the tension from earlier pressed down on him like a storm, the worry and weight of Soobin's words were heavy on his heart. He closed his eyes, trying to calm down the storm of guilt swirling in his mind.
Heal.
He needed to heal.
But he wasn't so sure if he could, he felt so helpless at the moment. The fact he couldn't bring himself to even stare at a blank canvas without tearing up made his head ache.
Why couldn't he just... paint...?
The passion was there, but it was so faint, he could barely reach out to it anymore.
But he doesn't want to lose it, he doesn't want to lose it all.
Beomgyu inhaled deeply, calming himself down before he turned around to head to the new comfy couch in the living room — but as soon as he turned around, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Taehyun standing right behind him with a wide smile on his face.
"Holy fucking shit!" He exclaimed, jumping back as he held his chest, genuinely terrified. "Taehyun! What did I say about appearing out of no where?!"
"All the furniture looks so nice!" Taehyun beamed brightly, completely ignoring Beomgyu's shock. "It's like a whole new place now! It's been so long since there's been literal life in this shabby home!"
Beomgyu furrowed his eyebrows, scoffing softly before he calmed down. Now that he was calm, he could get a proper look at Taehyun who was extremely happy — and he won't lie, it felt a little bit nice seeing him and hearing his voice, though he won't admit it out loud.
There was also something strangely comforting about the ghost.
"You're honestly way too excited for someone who doesn't even need to sit on furniture." He said, his tone a little light but tense, his anxiety from earlier still lingering.
"That doesn't matter!" Taehyun shot back, his enthusiasm unwavering as he followed Beomgyu into the living room. "I mean... I do feel bad I couldn't help you unpack. That must've been exhausting."
Beomgyu threw him a glance, raising his eyebrow slightly, and for some reason he didn't want to hear any apologies at the moment, but he also wasn't in the mood to throw an attitude, so with a soft breath, he shrugged his shoulders.
"Yeah, thanks for nothing," he said, a teasing smirk twitching on his lips. There was no malice in his tone — just lighthearted sarcasm. "Some ghost roommate you are."
For a moment, Taehyun's expression shifted from a happy one to one filled with worried, afraid he might've genuinely offended Beomgyu. But when he noticed the small amused smirk on the males lips, he instantly lit up right away and playfully shook his head.
"Hey! Don't be an asshole!" Taehyun shot back, laughing loudly. "I'm just saying— it's nice to see the house filled with life again. Your brother and his friend did an amazing job with the furniture. Even ghosts like a little decor, you know!"
Beomgyu just rolled his eyes but couldn't stop the faint chuckle that escaped him. Despite everything he felt at the moment, just like earlier, Taehyun's presence had a strange way of making the heavy weight in his chest feel just a little lighter.
Reaching the new couch, Beomgyu immediately flopped down onto it with a loud, satisfied groan, sinking into the cushions as if they were welcoming arms. His body ached from the day's physical and emotional toll, and his mind was still racing. For a moment, the comfort of finally lying down was all he could focus on — so much so that he barely noticed Taehyun settling beside him
Neither of them said anything, with Beomgyu just resting on the couch with his eyes closed as Taehyun sat close to him, staring at the big TV in front of him, the both of them just stayed in that comfortable silence until the younger had started to shift around.
"Are you... okay?"
Beomgyu opened his eyes slightly, catching Taehyun's gaze. The ghost's expression was soft, his eyes filled with a quiet concern that made Beomgyu hesitate. Part of him wanted to brush it off with some sarcastic remark, but the sincerity in Taehyun's question caught him off guard.
He sighed and sat up, rubbing his temples slowly. "I'm fine." He replied.
Taehyun raised an eyebrow, his stare unrelenting, and Beomgyu couldn't help but let out a small smile — one that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"I swear." Beomgyu added, his voice quieter, and for once, he didn't feel like he was trying to himself.
Taehyun hummed softly, deciding not to push any further, simply sitting there with an almost tangible patience. A few beats passed before he tilted his head once more.
"Can I ask a question?"
"When do you ever not ask a question?"
Taehyun smiled softly at Beomgyu's reply, letting out a small laugh as he turned away for a moment before meeting Beomgyu's gaze again. His expression was gentle but curious. "Why... why did you choose to move here? This house? I mean, I'm grateful — I got to meet you — but I'm just wondering. It's so old... nobody would dare move here."
Beomgyu paused, the question lingering in the air as he slowly sat up more properly, glancing at him with a slightly shocked gaze. He hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not to answer, but something about Taehyun's genuine curious yet gentle gaze made it hard to stay silent.
"For starters, it was dirt cheap," He began, leaning back into the couch, carefully picking his words. "But... I also needed to get away. From everything. The public, the noise, the expectations. I couldn't stand hearing everyone's comments, being compared to others, being seen as just... one thing. It was too much."
Without even realizing, he continued on. "I came here for a refuge to find motivation or inspiration again... I thought that if I just... isolate myself for a bit, I'll find that passion for painting again, but I'm just... so tired. All I want is to be seen for more than just my art."
Once he was finished talking, he examined Taehyun's expression carefully, but no matter how hard he tried to identify what emotion was on his face, he only failed to do so.
The silence he was receiving was making him a bit anxious, perhaps he had opened up too much, maybe he should've lied. He swallowed hard, already bracing himself for Taehyun to say something dismissive — something like how it's easy to find motivation again, or how his feelings didn't make sense.
He knew he was lucky from how well known he was, that people looked up to him, that people enjoy his art. How he should be grateful that he was given this opportunity to grow and that he should stand proud, but it was just too much for him to handle.
Beomgyu sighed, mentally preparing himself for the light dismissive comments.
But instead, Taehyun surprised him.
"That makes sense," He simply replied, his big eyes soft and understanding. "You made a good choice, sometimes you need space from people who don't appreciate you for who you are. Sometimes you need space to breathe, to focus on yourself, and there's nothing wrong with that."
Beomgyu blinked, stunned and taken aback by the reply, clearly not expecting it at all. His chest began to tighten, but it wasn't with the usual dread. It was... something else, something warm and comforting. "You... really think so?"
"Of course," Taehyun replied, his tone sincere. "It's not foolish to want to be seen for more than what you can do. And it's not easy to get that motivation back when people keep dragging you down. You deserve to take a break."
Beomgyu stared at him, the weight of Taehyun's words sinking in. For the first time in a long while, someone wasn't telling him to just "push through" or "work harder." Someone understood. He understood.
After a moment, he quickly looked away, clearing his throat. "Well... thanks, I guess," He muttered, awkwardly and a bit flustered. "I just wanted to try... you know? To somehow get my spark back. For painting."
"That's good you're trying," Taehyun replied, his tone warm and patient. "But... if you want... do you want to try right now? Maybe you can take it slow and do something, but if you don't want to, it's all fine!"
Beomgyu stared at him, unsure why the question had made his heart skip. He wanted to shut that question down right away, toss it to the side and scowl at the idea of even trying to paint right now, the thought of it was leaving a bitter aftertaste that made his stomach twist tightly.
But... for some reason, he felt oddly relaxed. Maybe it was the way Taehyun looked at him, like he believed in him. There was no pity or sadness in his gaze, just warmth and patience.
It was honestly overwhelming, it made his heart tighten with a weird sensation, and without even thinking, he found himself nodding.
"Okay," He said, his voice almost a whisper. "I can try."
Taehyun smiled wider, standing up as he tilted his head. "Then let's go."
With Taehyun leading the way, Beomgyu followed the ghost close behind, his legs carrying him upstairs to his art room. With each step, it felt heavier and heavier, his anxiety already swirling around with doubts and fears for himself, he was terrified.
He had no inspiration, no motivation, no new ideas — so why was he even doing this?
The both of them made their way down the hallway and into the art room, hesitating just for a moment at the doorway, his hands becoming clammy as they clenched and unclenched at his sides. He doesn't know if he can do this.
Taehyun, who was already standing in the middle of the room, glanced over at him — his eyes softening when he noticed the silent panic Beomgyu was going through.
"You don't have to do anything big, I'm not asking you to draw a whole universe," He said, walking over to him, his hands reaching out for a moment before he paused when he remembered he couldn't physically touch him. "Just... see how it feels, I believe in you."
Beomgyu glanced over at him, swallowing hard as he glanced down at the ghosts hand which was near his own, his heart aching when he noticed that Taehyun wanted to hold his hand in a comforting manner or some sort. But with a small sigh, he stepped inside and walked over towards the canvas.
The air began to turn heavy the closer he got to it, becoming suffocating when he stood in front of it, its blank structure taunting him silently. He started to feel more sick than before, and all he wanted to do was just run out of the room to forget that feeling — but when he looked over his shoulder towards Taehyun, the younger gave him a sweet smile and nodded encouragingly.
So maybe... just maybe, he could try.
With a deep breath, Beomgyu set up the blank canvas with trembling hands, pulling out a stool and placing it in front of the easel. He sat down, his legs feeling like lead. The canvas stared back at him, an empty void that seemed to reflect the one inside him.
His stomach twisted into even tighter knots as his mind raced, slowly picking up a brush and a palette, the silence of the room only amplified the cacophony of voices in his head, voices that taunt him.
Why can't you paint? It's just a canvas.
You're a failure if you don't get this done.
You're ungrateful for what you have. You don't deserve this talent.
They're going to forget you, forget your name, forget your entire existence.
Nobody will care.
The ache in his chest grew sharper with every passing second, the voices becoming louder as his breaths became shallow. His hands began to shake, and the edges of his visions blurred as the entire room felt like it was closing in on him, that his lungs weren't working to bring in air into his system.
Before the rising tide of panic could overtake him, a soft voice broke through.
"What do you think the afterlife looks like?"
The question had completely thrown him off guard, his head snapping up to find Taehyun standing beside him, his expression calm and gentle as he stared at the blank canvas.
"Wh-What...?" Beomgyu croaked, his voice weak.
"I said, what do you think the afterlife looks like?"
Beomgyu furrowed his eyebrows, wondering if this was a trick question or something, obviously he wouldn't have an idea of what it would look like... he's not dead. "I... I don't know, why?"
Taehyun only smiled, walking away from him and over towards the large wooden table by the window. With ease, he sat down on it, his movements light and fluid and for a moment it looked like he was about to fall through the material. But it wasn't until Beomgyu's eyes widened when he noticed a white lily flower resting on the table beside's him, its petals so healthy, delicate, and pure.
"The afterlife sounds scary but... honestly, I think it might be beautiful," Taehyun said, his gaze staying on Beomgyu, though they held a bit of wavering hope. "Maybe it's a seat of flowers. I might be biased, but I like to imagine it's filled with white lilies. A vast field stretching as far as the eye can see, swaying ever so gently in the wind."
Beomgyu stared at him, frozen in place, his eyebrows furrowing and mouth gaped open as he tried to imagine the scenery.
"And there's definitely a sunset," Taehyun continued, his voice as soft and steady as he gently stroked the petals of the lily. "The kind that wraps the sky in hues of gold, pink, and orange. Everything is peaceful there — quiet, but not lonely. It's warm and comforting, like being embraced by everything you've ever loved."
Beomgyu's breath caught in his throat, the more Taehyun continued on, talking ever so passionately about what the afterlife could look like in his eyes, his words began to paint a vision in his head — the blurry imagine slowly clearing up that it began to seep into the cracks of his mind, filling the emptiness with soft hues and delicate whispers.
Before he realized it, his hand moved on its own. He reached for a brush, dipping it into soft shades of white and green. His strokes were shaky at first, his movements hesitant, but he began to shape the vision Taehyun described: fields of lilies swaying beneath a golden sky.
Taehyun, who had noticed his sudden movements, only smiled as his voice remained steady and serene. "The flowers would stretch on forever, wouldn't they? And maybe in the air, there's a gentle scent being carried, maybe something sweet, something nostalgic, like home."
The panic that was lingering in his mind, the anxiety that was clawing at him, had slowly started to fade away — instead, his focus only sharpening as his brush began to move more confidently. The twisting panic in his chest had eased, allowing himself to sink into the imagine taking form on the canvas.
And in that moment, when he saw the lilies coming together, the sky shining down, the bright sun lighting up the image — he couldn't help but feel a faint spark ignite deep within his soul.
After a few more minutes, he finally stopped and sat back, his hands trembling for an entirely different reason now. His eyes lighting up ever so slightly when he saw the imperfect painting in front of him: a field of white lilies, bathed in the warm glow of an endless sunset resting in the pure soft blue sky — it wasn't perfect, but it was his.
Beomgyu felt his throat tighten, an overwhelming wave of relief and happiness swarmed him, he was stunned that he had managed to envision a new idea, create it on the canvas, complete it without fully panicking and giving into the suffocating voices.
After so many weeks of paralysis, he had finally painted something.
"You did it." He heard Taehyun say softly.
Beomgyu slowly turned to him, expecting to see the younger to just be staring at the painting, but instead, Taehyun wasn't looking at the painting. He was looking at him, eyes bright and warm with a tinge of quiet pride.
"You did something so amazing, so incredible, Beomgyu," Taehyun continued, his smile wide and genuine. "Not just because it's a beautiful start, but because you did it."
Beomgyu's chest tightened, something sparking to life deep in his stomach. He stared at Taehyun with wide eyes, unable to speak. The words didn't matter anyway. All he could do was try to process the strange, unfamiliar feeling blooming within him as he looked at the ghost who had pulled him out of the darkness.
He then glanced back at the canvas, eyes wide and unblinking as he took in the details. The field of white lilies he had painted weren't perfect, but they somehow managed to glow softly in the warm tones of the imagined sun, the delicate petals swaying as if caught in an unseen breeze.
It was so beautiful — so much so that he almost couldn't believe it had come from him.
And it was all thanks to Taehyun.
A sudden fire ignited in his chest, spreading through him like a flame catching dry wood. It wasn't fear this time. It was hope, determination, and something that felt dangerously close to excitement.
His gaze shifted back to Taehyun, who was still perched on the wooden table, watching him with a quiet smile. The faint glow of sunlight through the window framed his form, making him look ethereal, almost too perfect to be real.
Within that moment, his heart had shifted.
"Taehyun," Beomgyu began, his voice low and uncertain. "You said... if your regrets are resolved, and if we figure out how you died, you'll... move on, right?"
The question had clearly thrown Taehyun off guard, his eyes widening for a moment before he slowly nodded. "That's... that's right, once those loose ends are tied, I'll finally be able to rest."
Beomgyu hesitated his next set of words, his mind swirling with doubts and questions. He thought of how his life had changed so drastically in just a few days — how this house, this ghost, had become something he didn't know he needed. The idea of somehow helping Taehyun, made his stomach churn.
But as he took a deep breath, the fire within him pushed past the fear. He walked over to Taehyun, stopping just in front of him. For a moment, the two of them locked eyes, and Beomgyu saw something unspoken in Taehyun's gaze — a quiet plea, a desperate hope.
"I was hesitant and uncertain at first," Beomgyu admitted, his voice trembling slightly. "I'm still honestly terrified. I don't know if I can actually help you, I'm a mess, Taehyun. I don't know what will truly happen to you once you're gone."
Taehyun's lips parted as if to say something, but he kept going, cutting him off.
"But," He continued. "I think I can... somewhat trust you now. I trust that you'll guide me through this, and I... I want to help you."
"Beom..." Taehyun breathed out, his eyes widening as they began to water. "Are you..."
"I'll help you finish whatever regrets you have," Beomgyu said, his voice firm and semi-confident, his eyes lingering on the younger's face, admiring his features. "I'll help you figure out how you died, and bring you to the afterlife."
Taehyun's eyes widened, and for a moment, he was silent. As if he were processing the words he was hearing at the moment, but after a short while, his expression immediately lit up. A mixture of emotions flooded on his face — relief, gratitude, joy, and something else that Beomgyu couldn't quite place.
"I...I..." Taehyun's voice shook, tilting his head down as he tried to say something. "I...I'm... so... grateful!"
Before he could react, Taehyun's head shot up as he suddenly lunged forward, his arms outstretched as if he were about to embrace him.
But the moment their forms made contact — or tried to — Beomgyu felt an icy chill shoot through his body. Taehyun's incorporeal form passed right through him, and he stumbled back with a startled yelp, shivering violently.
"What the fuck?!" Beomgyu exclaimed, immediately clutching his arms and rubbing them, trying to ward off the cold. "Taehyun, are you trying to get me to join you in the afterlife or something?!"
Taehyun, now standing awkwardly a few steps away, had clasped his hands together and covered his mouth — his eyes widened as his cheeks were tinted with a deep pink from the major embarrassment he was enduring.
"I'm so sorry!" He stammered, his voice high pitched with pure embarrassment. "I got so excited and forgot I can't... you know, touch people! I just wanted to hug you!"
Beomgyu only glared at him, still shivering as he rubbed his arms furiously, he's going to get fucking hypothermia at this point. "You forgot?! That was freezing! Try to remember next time!"
The younger only gave a sheepish laugh, scratching the back of his neck as he glanced away. "I really didn't mean to," He said before looking back. "But... thank you, Beomgyu. I'm so grateful! I promise I won't let you regret this!"
Beomgyu just sighed, the chill beginning to fade away as he straightened up properly. "You're lucky I'm in a good mood, and that I'm already too far into this mess to back out now."
Taehyun grinned at him, his earlier shyness melting away. "Well, you're stuck with me for a while, so I guess we'll just have to make the best of it! Best friend bonding time!"
Beomgyu only smiled, leaning against the table as he folded his arms, watching Taehyun thoughtfully. "So... what are exactly your regrets? You must have some idea if they're still keeping you here."
Taehyun tilted his head, a smile gracing his lips as he slowly walked over towards him and sat down on the table, staring at Beomgyu with fond eyes.
"I don't exactly remember much about my life when I was alive," He admitted, his tone wavering for a moment. "But there are a few things that... stick out. Moments or feelings, even sudden urges, that are clearer than the rest. I think they may be tied to my regrets."
The elder raised a brow, uncrossing his arms as he hopped onto the table and sat down, staring at Taehyun's pretty face. "Really? Alright, what are they?"
Taehyun immediately beamed bright, clearly excited to tell him, though there was a faint wistfulness in his gaze.
"The first one... I think I've always wanted to visit Jeju Island, hence why I got so excited seeing that sunset painting," He said, which shocked Beomgyu. "I think when I was alive, I never got the chance to go. I don't know why exactly — maybe something always came up, maybe I just couldn't afford it. But it's always been on my mind. I regret never making it there."
Beomgyu nodded, making mental notes and checks as his expression softened. "Jeju, huh? That's... a bit difficult, but we can try. What's next?"
"The second one..." Taehyun's eyes grew distant, as if searching through the broken fragments of his memories. "I think it was the summer festival, the fireworks. I regret not seeing them when I was alive. Just like the first reason, something prevented me from going, I don't remember what, but the fireworks... I always wanted to see them."
The elder just frowned, sensing the strange weight behind Taehyun's words, but he just nodded. "Fireworks... summer festival... that's definitely easy. What's the third?"
Taehyun hesitated, his smile faltering as he lowered his gaze. His fingers fidgeted with the hem of his sweater. "The third one... it's harder to talk about."
Beomgyu raised an eyebrow, his head tilting slightly, the sudden mood shift affecting him a little. "Just... take your time."
After a bit, Taehyun drew in a shaky breath, his voice quieter now. "I want to apologize to my best friend. For my death. For suddenly leaving them behind. I think... I think I hurt them a lot."
The room fell silent as the weight of Taehyun's regret settled between them.
Beomgyu stared at him with wide eyes, not expecting that at all, he thought it would be something like the first two — but this one was extremely personal. "Who... was your best friend?"
Taehyun's hands stilled, and he looked up at Beomgyu with a pained expression. "I... don't remember," He admitted softly, his voice trembling. "I don't even remember their name or face. I just know they were important to me, and I left them with so much pain."
Beomgyu stared at Taehyun, his chest tightening at the raw emotion in his voice. He clenched his fists, determination settling in his expression. "Then we'll figure it out. All of it. Jeju, the fireworks, your best friend — whatever it takes. I promise, I'll help you finish these regrets, find the reason of your death, and get you to the afterlife."
Taehyun blinked, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He gave Beomgyu a watery smile, his voice trembling. "Thank you, Beomgyu. I... I don't know what I'd do without you. I'm so grateful."
Beomgyu felt his throat tighten and his heart skip a beat at the sight of Taehyun's pretty smile, his stomach fluttering up with a strange feeling as his mind blanked out. Oh god, what was happening to him?
Quickly shrugging his shoulders, he looked away and tried playing off the panic. "Don't get all sappy on me now, that's gross. I'm just helping you."
Taehyun chuckled softly, his laugh light and warm. "I'm serious! I'm grateful! Now let's hang up the new painting somewhere!"
Beomgyu watched as Taehyun jumped off the table with newfound confidence and excitement, rushing over to the painting to admire it more, and in that moment — he found himself getting lost and mesmerized by Taehyun's pretty smile.
But he won't lie, there was a strange twist in his gut... the idea of Taehyun... leaving, threw him off.
But for now, he's going to push it aside, he has a promise to fulfill after all.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
A full week had passed since Beomgyu had moved in, and life in the old house had settled into an oddly comforting routine he'd never expected to happen.
Each morning, he would wake up to find Taehyun already in his room — either sitting at the end of the bed, waiting patiently for him to wake up, or perched by the window, watching the sunset rise.
At first, Beomgyu had found it unsettling. Waking up to a ghost staring at him wasn't exactly the peaceful solitude he'd envisioned when moving in. He'd nearly told Taehyun to wait outside until he was up. But over time, it became something else — something oddly reassuring.
It was also kinda nice having someone else in the house, even a ghost. Although, he had came to the house to get away from the public and others, for some reason... he didn't mind having Taehyun around. Maybe it was because he knew when to give him space, he knew when not to say anything, and he also knew how... to somehow comfort him in the midst of his panic attacks.
There was something about his quiet yet vibrant presence, that made the space feel less lonely.
Since the day he'd painted the white lily field Taehyun had described with so much passion, Beomgyu hadn't picked up a brush again. He wanted to paint — desperately — but every time he tried, his mind would go blank. He'd sit in front of the canvas, brush in hand, willing himself to create, only to feel the same frustration rise.
Each failed attempt ended the same way: with him setting the brush down and walking away.
He often noticed how Taehyun would stay by his side during those times, just offering silent support or distracting him when he noticed his panic levels rising. But sometimes, he would see him staring at the white lily field painting with a soft smile, adoration and stars filling his eyes as he did so. It was as if the painting had held a piece of him — a part of Taehyun that had come alive again.
Seeing the way Taehyun adored it, how his eyes lit up every time he looked at it, filled Beomgyu with a warmth he couldn't quite name. It stirred something deep within him, something he hadn't felt in a long time.
Neither of them had mentioned Taehyun's regrets nor his death for a few days. Though it came up in conversation here and there, they still were taking their time approaching it all, and Beomgyu was still trying to figure out what he should do in order to help him complete it.
What am I even supposed to do? He thought, staring blankly at the stovetop as the faint hum of the house filled the silence. What if I mess this up? What if I can't help him at all?
Beomgyu sighed as he slowly looked up, the sunlight streaming through the kitchen window, cascading an ethereal golden glow over every surface as he was awkwardly struggling with making lunch. The stove was old, very old. The knobs were a little finicky and the toaster was cooperating either, he was a little paranoid that the stove would explode on him out of no where.
"Do you always struggle this much, or is today special?"
Beomgyu flinched, whipping his head around to find Taehyun perched on the counter next to the stove, his legs swinging lazily as he grinned at him, causing him to roll his eyes.
"Why don't you help instead of just sitting there and watching me suffer?" He retorted, mock irritation lacing his voice. "I swear, if this shit explodes, there'll be two ghosts haunting this house."
"It's kind of hard to stir vegetables when you're incorporeal!" Taehyun replied, a cheeky grin on his face as he held up his hands. "But if it explodes, that'll mean we can be best friends forever!"
"That sounds like a nightmare."
"Hey!"
Beomgyu snorted at Taehyun's indignant pout, turning his attention back to the stove. "Seriously, you're the most useless roommate I've ever had," He muttered under his breath, though the corners of his lips betrayed a slight smirk. "You don't even pay rent either."
Taehyun let out a bright laugh, his eyes crinkling with amusement as he watched Beomgyu struggle with the stove. There was something oddly fond in his gaze, though he'd never say it out loud.
After a moment, Taehyun's laughter died down and his gaze softened, shuffling around on the counter before he got in a comfortable position, leaning his head on his hand as he watched Beomgyu cook carefully.
"You know," He finally spoke up, gaining the males attention for a moment. "We've been... roommates and best friends for a week now, but I still feel like I barely know anything about you. I want to know more about you, Gyu."
Beomgyu hesitated, his hand pausing over the stir fry he was cooking. He wasn't used to talking about himself — not in any real way. Most conversations he had were centered around his work, his art, his achievements. But the genuine curiosity in his voice chipped away at his usual guardedness.
"You already know I'm twenty-five and a painter," He said softly, returning to stirring the vegetables. "What else is there to know?"
"Your life story, duh!" Taehyun replied, beaming brightly as he tilted his head. "For starters, where are you from?"
"Daegu," Beomgyu said after a pause, surprised at how easily the answer slipped out. "I grew up there... went to college there too. But I visited Seoul and Itaewon a lot when I had time."
"Ohhh, that sounds really nice! I don't remember what city I was born in but Daegu sounds really nice!" Taehyun said, sounding genuinely interested which made his chest swirl in a fuzzy way. "What made you move here?"
Beomgyu sighed softly, finishing up the stir fry as he lowered the fire down, letting it simmer for a moment as he thought about his question. "Well, I knew I would move here when I graduated. More opportunities, closer to my brother, a fresh start."
Taehyun nodded his head, his expression thoughtful, noticing the flicker of sadness on the elders face, so with a soft smile he shifted his body to where he was fully facing him. "When's your birthday?"
"March 13th," He replied, leaning onto the counter beside him, crossing his arms, tilting his head to gaze up at Taehyun. "How about you? Do you remember your birthday?"
Taehyun's smile faltered just a little, the light in his eyes dimming for a moment — which made him immediately feel guilt. "I... I don't remember, I don't really know."
Beomgyu stayed silent for a moment, an apology wavering on the tip of his tongue. He shouldn't have asked that, seeing the smile falter on the ghosts face made his stomach churn in a sickening manner.
"What about your brother? Soobin, right?" Taehyun suddenly spoke up, cutting him off before he could say anything. "What does he do, is he a painter like you?"
Noticing the change in topic right away, Beomgyu only frowned but didn't say anything else. "No, he's a baker, actually. He runs this little café in the city — pretty successful too. He's always been good at making people feel at home or comfortable."
"That's so cool!" Taehyun beamed, his enthusiasm lighting up the room once more. "You'll have to take me there someday! I... I can't necessarily eat anything, but you'll just have to eat all of the desserts for me!"
Beomgyu chuckled softly, shaking his head at Taehyun's excitement. Making a mental note to maybe do that later. He pushed himself off of the counter and quickly set up his plate, scooping some rice onto it and stir fry as he made his way to the dining table with Taehyun drifting close behind.
As he sat down, Taehyun sat right across from him, he was quite clingy from what Beomgyu noticed — but maybe it was because he was the first person to actually have a conversation with him for the first time.
They both fell into silence as he began eating, but soon, he found his thoughts drifting towards the ghosts regrets. He wanted to help him fulfill them, he had promised. But the weight of it all had looked heavy. How do you complete someone's unfinished dreams and bring them peace, especially when they are no longer alive?
Lost in thought, he barely noticed he was picking at his food until Taehyun had coughed softly, making him glance up and look over at him. The younger had his elbows resting on the table, staring at him with a fond gaze, and it was somewhat comforting in the quiet moment.
Beomgyu just gave him an awkward smile, his fork scraping against the plate as he tried to shake the lingering thoughts swirling in his mind. What could he do? What can he do? Is he even able to get Taehyun to move to the afterlife?
And more pressing — did he even want Taehyun to leave?
Beomgyu's fork stilled against his plate as the thought struck him, his chest tightening with an unplaceable feeling.
"I think I remembered something today," Taehyun spoke up, his voice hesitant as if he were piecing things together. "I wanted to tell you, but you were a bit busy cooking."
Beomgyu's attention snapped up, his interest suddenly piqued as his eyes were widened, shocked at what the younger had just said. "...Really?"
"Yeah," Taehyun replied, his tone contemplative. "I was looking around the house earlier and saw your ring collection. And then... I remembered this weird feeling, like there was a ring on my finger. I think I might've been engaged... or maybe I had a partner when I was alive, maybe a promise ring? I'm not sure."
Beomgyu froze, his fork halfway to his mouth. For some reason, the idea of Taehyun having a partner when he was alive made his stomach twist in a weird, uncomfortable way. He doesn't even know why he felt this way, it wasn't like he knew him when he was alive.
But... he wish he did.
He wants to know what type of person Taehyun was when he was alive. What other dreams he had, what future he had.
It wasn't until Taehyun had noticed the scowl on his face, his head tilting slightly as he raised an eyebrow. "Why are you making that face?"
Beomgyu blinked, quickly straightening up. "I'm not. I'm just... surprised. But that's great...! you remembered something." His tone came out a little too stiff, but Taehyun didn't seem to notice.
"Thanks," Taehyun said brightly, his usual smile returning. "That means a lot to me, especially coming from you."
They fell into silence again, but Beomgyu couldn't shake the lingering discomfort. He forced himself to focus on his food, but his thoughts kept drifting back to the ghost sitting across from him, wondering why the idea of Taehyun having a partner like that made him feel so... unsettled. It wasn't like it mattered now, he was... dead.
No matter how hard he tried to push the discomfort away, it just wouldn't budge, his thoughts wouldn't stop racing. He had to practically force himself to think of something else, back to Taehyun's regrets, one in particular that seems difficult.
"Taehyun," He softly spoke up. "How far can you go?"
Taehyun blinked, confused at the sudden question. "What do you mean?"
"As a ghost," He clarified, leaning forward slightly. "Are you, like... stuck here in the house? Or can you go anywhere far?"
At the question, Taehyun's face lit up, a bright smile spreading across his lips. "Oh! I'm not bounded to the house. I can go anywhere in Seoul, at most. But..." He hesitated, his smile softening. "I choose to stay here. It's less lonely watching the world move on from inside these walls than out there."
Beomgyu's chest tightened again, but this time it was different — less discomfort and more a strange kind of sadness. He stared at Taehyun, his expression unreadable. It just made his urge to somehow complete his regrets more stronger.
"You... really like it here, don't you?" He asked softly.
Taehyun only gave him a wistful smile. "I like it here, it feels safe... from what. And I've got you now, so it's not so bad."
Beomgyu looked down at his plate, his appetite fading slightly as his mind turned over Taehyun's words. He didn't know what to say, but one thing was clear: He wanted to help him see more than just these walls, to give him something he hadn't had in life — or in death.
Maybe it was time to start thinking about how to fulfill Taehyun's regret of not being able to visit Jeju Island.
Beomgyu quickly finished his meal, standing up and heading over to the sink as he washed his dish throughly, placing it on the drying rack carefully. The mundane act helped ground him, even if his thoughts were far from calm. As he dried his hands, he glance towards the living room, where Taehyun was now wandering toward.
Without a word, he followed, heading straight for the couch and grabbing the remote. He turned on the TV and flipped through channels until he landed on a random show that seemed interesting after one second.
Taehyun perked up almost instantly, plopping down close to Beomgyu on the couch with a fascinated look on his face. "What's this?"
Beomgyu glanced over at him, for a moment he was wondering if Taehyun knew what a TV was, but then he remembered that the younger had died four years ago, not four hundred years ago. So he was probably confused on the new shows that had came out during his little death lifetime.
"Some drama, I think," Beomgyu mumbled, shrugging as he glanced at the TV. "Just watch it, maybe it's interesting."
And watch it Taehyun did, his eyes wide and shining as he brought his knees up to his chest and held onto himself comfortably, completely immersed in the show.
Beomgyu couldn't help but laugh at the ghosts enthusiasm, but the moment Taehyun's attention was fully captured by the show, he seized the opportunity. He quickly grabbed his laptop that was on the coffee table and flipped it open, typing into the search bar: Jeju Island specialties.
The results popped up right away, his eyes scanning up and down the screen, taking in images of the beautiful beaches, lush green fields, and the markets filled with vibrant foods and handmade crafts. The mere thought of somehow planning a trip to Jeju filled him with excitement and dread.
He sighed in frustration, leaning back against the couch as the weight of reality settled in. He had enough money to book a trip there, but he didn't have the time or energy to plan something so big. He also knew Soobin would be so confused why he would suddenly book a trip after buying a new home.
Yet, the idea of fulfilling one of Taehyun's regrets stayed firmly rooted in his mind.
Beomgyu glanced away from his laptop, instead, his gaze settling on the ghost next to him, who was still engrossed in the show, his expression soft and filled with wonder.
It made his heart tighten strangely at the sight, his breath getting caught in his throat as his mind flooded with an emotion he couldn't quite name once again.
Beomgyu stared longer than he should have, completely losing himself as he admired the soft glow of the TV light on Taehyun's features. The shadows danced gently across his face, accentuating every detail — the curve of his lips, the brightness in his eyes, the slight tilt of his head. Everything about him seemed to shine, and his pulse quickened without warning.
He jerked his gaze away, swallowing hard as a rush of unsteady emotions surged through him. What's wrong with me? He thought, gripping the edge of his laptop for stability.
"Are you okay?"
"Huh?" Beomgyu flinched, his wide eyes snapping to meet Taehyun's. Panic rose as he scrambled to cover his reaction. "Uhm... yeah! Yeah, totally fine. Great! So great!"
Taehyun gave him a strange look but didn't say anything more, only looking back at the TV which made him a bit calmer. Clearing his throat softly, he looked back at his screen and started typing in some things, thinking about what he could do for this regret with his limited choices.
If he couldn't take Taehyun to Jeju Island, he would bring Jeju Island to him.
He spent the next few minutes browsing websites, adding items to his carts: citrus flavored hallabong candies, jeju black pork jerky, green tea from the island, handmade trinkets like small dol hareubang's, even some bottles of perfumes inspired by the islands breeze.
The more he found, the more his guilt started to ease.
Maybe he could ask Yeonjun for a favor too — get him to cook some of Jeju's signature dishes. Though explaining the odd request would take some creative thinking, Beomgyu decided he didn't care. For Taehyun, he'd make it work.
When he was done, he clicked purchase without a second thought and leaned back, a small, content smile tugging at his lips. The packages wouldn't arrive for a few days, but he already felt closer to giving Taehyun a piece of the place he'd never gotten to visit.
And... there was a bit of guilt spending so much saved money, but... he would do anything to see him smile more, to see him... pass on... happily.
He closed his laptop, glancing at Taehyun, who was still completely lost in the drama. It couldn't have been that good, right? Beomgyu couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped him as he rested his head back against the couch and stared at him fondly.
"So," He spoke up. "What's happening in the drama so far?"
Taehyun flinched, startled when he suddenly spoke, but when the question had processed in his head — the smile that formed on his face was so damn bright and blinding, it made his heart skip a beat.
"Oh my gosh!" He beamed brightly. "You won't believe the crazy scenes that just happened! So this... this lady, she's a princess... she turned her lover into a horse, and now they have to..."
The rest of the explanation came in a rapid, excited stream, his hands gesturing animatedly as he spoke. Beomgyu couldn't help but laugh softly, not because of the drama's absurdity, but because of the sheer joy in Taehyun's voice. He tried to focus on the story, but his attention drifted again.
Taehyun's happiness was captivating, the kind that made everything else fade away.
In that moment, Beomgyu's chest ached in a way he couldn't quite explain. He realized how deeply he cared, how much he wanted to protect this happiness — to preserve it, even if it meant letting go when the time came.
He smiled faintly, listening to Taehyun's voice as it filled the quiet room. One thought settled heavily in his heart:
I'll do anything to make sure he's happy when he moves on.
By the time Thursday had rolled around, all of the packages finally arrived.
When the packages were delivered to his door, he had been over the moon receiving them. It was a reminder that the first regret Taehyun had was soon to be complete.
But this wasn't something he wanted to share right away. He wanted it to be special — a surprise that would make Taehyun smile brighter than ever. Even though Beomgyu couldn't physically take him to Jeju Island, he hoped this gesture would be enough to give him a piece of the place he'd always dreamed of.
To keep it a secret, Beomgyu had nervously asked Taehyun if he could leave the house for a little while. The response he received made his chest ache.
"I need you to leave the house for a bit tomorrow."
Taehyun's expression immediately shifted, his eyes wide with worry as his shoulders tensed. His gaze flickered with uncertainty and a hint of fear, and for a moment, he stood there, stunned and silent.
"Am I... being kicked out...?" He asked hesitantly, his voice so fragile and weak, it nearly broke Beomgyu's heart at the question.
Beomgyu immediately shook his head, his voice rushing to reassure him. "No, no, of course not! I just... I have a surprise for you, that's all. I need some time to set it up."
The relief that washed over Taehyun's face was instant, and his radiant smile that followed after, made the entire room light up like a warm sunbeam.
"What time should I come back?" He asked, his voice laced with excitement now, his previous worry forgotten.
"Maybe... around the afternoon?" Beomgyu replied, trying to keep his own nervousness in check.
"Okay!" Taehyun beamed, practically bouncing on his toes. "I'll leave first thing in the morning and give you all the time you need!"
And staying true to his words, Taehyun did the exact thing he said he would do.
When Beomgyu woke up, he was a bit worried when he didn't find the ghost anywhere in the house, but after remembering their little agreement — he instantly calmed down, also distracted by the packages that were being delivered.
Alright, alright. Set up this whole entire thing before Taehyun comes back. He sighed, running a hand through his hair before he glanced down at his phone to check the time: 9:49 AM.
Okay. He has time.
For the next few hours, he had spent dragging the boxes into the house and into the living room, placing them around as he began to rearrange the area, determined to transform the living room into a small slice of Jeju Island would feel like.
He eagerly ripped open every single box, unpacking the hallabong candies, carefully playing the black pork jerky, and boiling up some hot water so he could make the green tea. Carefully arranging them all on the coffee table before he stood up and began decorating the entire area.
The tiny dol hareubang statues were placed around the room in noticeable spots, he'd even gone as far as buying a sand-colored rug to mimic the beach and stringing fairy lights around the living room to recreate the soft, warm glow of Jeju's sunsets and starry nights.
It wasn't perfect—not even close—but with his limited resources, Beomgyu had done his best to turn the space into a cozy, miniature version of Jeju Island. A kind-of-attempt-ish version, as he would describe it to himself.
Even during his decoration time, he had Yeonjun stop by to deliver some tangerines from the island and even some omegi tteok.
He was questioned though, Yeonjun had asked him why he suddenly needed all of this stuff for, but Beomgyu being... Beomgyu, just smiled and shut the door right on his face.
But don't get him wrong! He loves his best friend.
It's just... he doesn't really have any excuses unless he wants to tell him that he was setting up a makeshift Jeju Island inside his living room for a ghost who had never been able to visit? Yeah, no. That was a one-way ticket to sounding absolutely insane.
After finishing some final touches and spraying the perfumes he had also purchased around the house to give it that island like scent. He soon took a step back and took a moment to admire his work.
The living room looked more vibrant, brimming with life, like an entirely different world that had been brought into the home. And even though it wasn't much, although it wasn't the real thing, he just hoped that this was enough to bring the closure and satisfaction Taehyun needs.
He was proud, and excited. He couldn't wait to see the younger's reaction to this. But he also couldn't help but feel a tinge of anxiety. What if it's not enough? What if it doesn't feel... real to him? What if I'm just going to disappoint him? What if it won't heal him?
All of the "what if's" ran through his head like a storm. He knew he shouldn't be so... overwhelmed with this, but there was something deep within him that just wanted to make sure Taehyun was happy.
This is about making him happy, even for a moment. He doesn't want to see him sad.
Beomgyu sighed as he turned the TV on and played some random "ocean & bird audio" video, to get the mood going. He still had some time left over until Taehyun would randomly appear, so he might as well find a way to kill it.
After a moment, he only had one thing in mind — the art room.
He doesn't want to go in there, the thought of painting something still left a bitter taste in his mouth, but for some reason he found himself mindlessly trailing upstairs towards the room, hesitating for a moment until he stepped inside.
The layout was the same as always, but with some new additions. The blank canvas in the middle, one he hasn't touched in days. His paint supplies and brushes on the new shelf he had bought, and all of his old paintings hung on the wall like some sort of mock showcase.
However, the newest addition to the room was the pretty light blue vase resting on the wooden table near the window, containing the three white lily flowers that Taehyun has given him overtime.
Beomgyu's eyes softened at the sight, approaching the table as he leaned his hands on it and stared at the flowers, he had always wondered how Taehyun managed to continuously bring in these healthy flowers, but whenever he would ask — he would just get a cheeky smile as a reply.
Not that he doesn't mind, the flowers were beautiful. Like him.
He carefully traced the petals, afraid that if he pressed down on them too hard then they'll break under his touch. In all honesty, they were his most favorite thing in the entire room. The house, even.
Beomgyu pushed himself away, glancing back over towards the blank canvas — a sense of dread washing over him.
He hasn't really picked up a paint brush in a while, let alone paint. Not ever since that day with Taehyun, and for some reason, it was the only time he had somehow gained motivation and energy to paint something so clear.
It terrified him, the way Taehyun was just explaining his beautiful vision of what the afterlife may look like, had somehow sparked motivation within him to paint something after he's been suffering for so long.
He wants to continue painting, it makes him happy. But there's just something about it that leaves him so drained. No matter how many new ideas he gets, no matter how many compliments he tries listening to, it wasn't enough to bring his passion back.
And he doesn't want to be ungrateful, but it's... it's so tiring. He's been trying so hard to continue on.
But he's scared that he won't be enough, that whatever he brings won't be enough, that people won't be satisfied. That it would be boring, too plain, not... not him.
I want people to see more than just my paintings. He thought, tracing the blank canvas carefully. I want to bring something new to the world, but... how?
Beomgyu sighed in frustration, running a hand through his hair. He felt so helpless, that if he doesn't get his motivation back in time, people will grow bored of him, people will be disappointed in him, or worse — forget him.
Those familiar, suffocating thoughts began creeping in again, curling around his mind like shadows. His chest felt tight, panic threatening to swallow him whole. Without thinking, he stepped away from the canvas, his feet guiding him toward the painting hanging on the wall: the white lily field he had painted with Taehyun by his side
Euphoria.
That's what Taehyun had named this painting.
At first, Beomgyu found it a bit weird, but when Taehyun gave him a sweet smile and explained that once he enters the afterlife, wants to feel nothing but euphoria, making him realize how... beautiful and fitting it was.
He... loves the painting.
It wasn't like his other works. It wasn't polished or precise. It didn't carry the bold confidence his older pieces did. But maybe that's why it was special. This painting held something the others didn't: a piece of Taehyun.
Beomgyu stared at it a bit more, his eyes softening as he carefully took in all of the imperfect details. It wasn't... like his other works, but it was still his... well, it was theirs.
And it's special.
Deep within him, a faint spark had slowly ignite once more, the spark that he had lost so long ago — and though it wasn't strong enough to hold him steady, at least it was... something.
"Beomgyu?"
The soft voice pulled him from his thoughts right away. He flinched slightly, his eyes widening as he turned to see Taehyun standing at the doorway, his eyes filled with curiosity and concern.
"Taehyun," Beomgyu breathed out, his heart stuttering at the sight of the pretty ghost. "When did you get back?"
"Just... Just now," Taehyun replied, walking inside of the room and over towards him — making the elders breath hitch from how pretty he was. "I didn't see anything, don't worry! But... I felt your presence in this room, so I came straight here."
Taehyun paused, his eyes flickering towards the canvas before back at him. "Is everything okay?"
Beomgyu stared at him for a moment, the question lingering in the air, and for a moment, he had to truly think about it, but soon enough he just gave him a fond smile.
"Yeah," He spoke softly, his tone genuine. "I'm alright."
Taehyun smiled hearing that, visibly relaxing at the response before he walked closer and stood next to him, staring at the painting as well, his eyes shining like stars.
Beomgyu's chest tightened as he watched him. He didn't understand how Taehyun managed it — how he could stay so calm, so positive, even after losing his life at such a young age. Despite everything, Taehyun still found ways to smile, to be kind, to find joy in the little things.
And he admired him for it more than he could ever put into words.
They stayed silent for a bit, only staring at the painting with both admiration and care, until finally, Beomgyu broke the silence, his voice soft. "So... where did you go? Did you, like... go into the city or something?"
"Huh?" Taehyun perked up at the question, his head tilting slightly in surprise. For a second, his eyes widened, but then realization flickered across his face. "Oh! No, I didn't go to the city. I actually just went into the woods behind the house for a while."
"The woods?" Beomgyu blinked, curious.
Taehyun nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah. Deep in the woods, there's this pond with ducks. I like to sit there and watch them for a while. It's peaceful. The city can feel... kind of lonely."
Beomgyu's heart ached at the words, but he tried to mask it with a small laugh. "You're telling me you ditched me for some ducks?"
Taehyun's laugh came soft and warm, like a melody, his hands twitching for a moment before they stayed close to his side. "Hey! What do you mean 'ditch you'? You're the one who asked me to leave the house!"
Beomgyu's laugh slipped out before he could stop it, soft and genuine. It surprised even him, but it felt nice — calming, like a small weight lifted off his chest. Yet, his heart fluttered for a completely different reason. The sound of Taehyun's laughter, the joy in his voice, seemed to awaken something deep within him.
He would do anything to make him happy.
Taking a deep breath, he reminded himself of the surprise waiting downstairs. With a gentle smile, he turned to Taehyun. "Are you ready for your surprise now? I really don't want my efforts to go to waste."
The mention of the surprise he had planned immediately made Taehyun beam brighter more like a curious cat, something about the way his eyes widened more with interest made Beomgyu's heart race. No matter how many times he sees this of reaction from the ghost, it never fails to make his heart stutter from how beautiful he looked.
"Should I cover my eyes?" Taehyun asked, his voice trembling with excitement. His hands hovered near his face, and his entire body practically buzzed with energy. "I-I haven't had something like this happen in years! I'm so excited!"
Beomgyu faltered for a moment, glancing at his own hands. The sudden desire to gently cover Taehyun's eyes himself surged through him, but reality hit like a cold gust of wind—he couldn't. The reminder of Taehyun's ghostly form stung more than he wanted to admit.
"Yeah," Beomgyu said softly, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Cover them, but not yet — just keep them open until we're close to downstairs."
Taehyun nodded eagerly, his bright smile never fading. The sight melted Beomgyu's anxiety, even if just a little. With a small gesture, he motioned for him to follow
The two of them made their way out of the art room, with Taehyun trailing close behind practically beaming like the literal sun, it made anxiety twist even more in Beomgyu's head. He was terrified that he wouldn't like it, or that it wouldn't be enough.
With every step down the stairs, it became heavier by the second, his thoughts twisting and turning with doubt and worry — what if this wasn't enough to help him move onto the afterlife?
This was for Taehyun, this was all for Taehyun, and that alone mattered.
"Okay," Beomgyu managed to say, his voice strained but steady enough. "Close your eyes now."
Taehyun's smile somehow grew brighter as he covered his eyes with one hand, his anticipation almost radiating from him. Beomgyu, however, froze in place, staring at Taehyun's free hand dangling at his side.
His own hand twitched, aching to reach out, to hold onto Taehyun's wrist and guide him carefully into the room. But he couldn't. No matter how much he wanted to, no matter how much his heart screamed at him to do it... he couldn't touch him.
The weight of that realization pressed heavily on him, and before he could stop it, his chest tightened painfully.
"Beomgyu?" Taehyun's voice broke through his thoughts, gentle and curious. "Why are we just standing here?"
Beomgyu blinked, quickly shaking himself out of his daze. "Sorry," He murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "Let's go."
He took a moment to steady his breath, finally stepping forward as he lead Taehyun into the living room. His pulse thundered in his ears, a mixture of nerves and anticipation surging through him as he halted behind the couch.
Beomgyu took a second to find the plug for the fairy lights, arranging it carefully until he finally felt ready. "Alright, you can open your eyes." He said softly, flicking the switch.
Taehyun nodded his head as he slowly uncovered his eyes, his vision adjusting to the sudden light change until it finally cleared up, and when it did, he froze right away as his eyes widened at the sight of the newly transformed living room in front of him.
Beomgyu held his breath as he watched him slowly take a step forward, his wide eyes scanning the room carefully as if he were taking it all in — the lights, the decorations, the subtle scent of citrus and sea that filled the air, it made his heart race when Taehyun slowly turned back to look at him, his expression a mixture of shock and awe.
"Is this..." Taehyun's voice cracked slightly, trembling with disbelief and awe, his breath getting caught in his throat.
Beomgyu noticed the pause, his eyes softening as he rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "Jeju Island?" He finished the younger's sentence for him. "I mean... kind of. It's... the best I could do."
Taehyun stayed silent, only standing there as he looked back at the living room, his eyes taking in the sight. The golden glow from the fairy lights, the sand colored rug, the table that held all the snacks and tea, just... everything.
The silence was making his anxiety grow by the second, Beomgyu shifting uncomfortably — he wasn't sure if Taehyun was impressed and happy with what he was seeing, or if he was disappointed and confused, it made his stomach twist uncomfortably.
"I...I know it's not the real thing," Beomgyu was quick to speak up, his voice trembling — why did this make him so anxious? "I'm sorry I couldn't bring you to the real place. But I thought... if you couldn't go to Jeju, I could try and bring it to you instead. But if you don't like it—"
"It's perfect."
Beomgyu immediately stumbled over his words, his eyes widening when the younger had cut him off. He stood frozen, wondering if he was hearing things or not, but when Taehyun turned to look at him again — the expression on his face stole the air from his lungs.
"H-Huh...?"
Taehyun's lips trembled, his eyes glossy with unshed tears, his eyes holding a new spark of emotion — as if a new flame had been ignited. "Beomgyu, it's more than I could've ever asked more. Real or not, it's perfect."
Beomgyu's chest immediately tightened relief and joy washing over him like a wave. Seeing Taehyun so happy, so moved — was worth every moment of doubt and effort, seeing that pretty smile on his face made it worth it all.
But... he just wishes he could wipe those tears off his pretty face.
"I'm glad you like it," Beomgyu said, his voice softer than he intended, unaware of the rush of heat forming on his cheeks. "I wasn't sure if it would be enough to... heal your regret for never visiting."
"...Enough?" Taehyun repeated, almost like the word hurt him. "It's more than enough, Gyu."
Beomgyu felt his chest tighten, more specially, his heart beating rapidly. He doesn't know whether he should feel happy or sick with the way Taehyun was looking at him, his eyes holding a new emotion so strong, that he could barely pinpoint on what it was exactly.
"Come on," He said, his voice lighter as he tried his best to distract himself from the storm of strange emotions. "Let's... sit down, I got all of these snacks and stuff, and I figured we could... you know, pretend we're on the island for a while."
Taehyun laughed softly, wiping his cheeks since some tears fell, nodding his head as he followed the elder to the table. They sat across from one another, surrounded by the soft glow of the lights and the multiple decorations that were slowly healing him.
With each passing minute, Beomgyu found himself unable to look away — he couldn't stop staring at Taehyun.
The way his wide eyes continued to scan the room, the awe written across his face, the tiny stunned smile that slowly curled at his lips — it made him feel like he was caught in a trance, a hypnosis spell that he was unable to break free from.
He watched as Taehyun's fingers hovered over one of the small dol hareubang statues, his hand trembling as he slowly brought it back as if he had remembered something. His expression was soft, yet held... sadness in them. His lips parted like he wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words.
Beomgyu shifted nervously in his spot, clearing his throat to break the small beat of silence. "Taehyun? Are you... okay?"
Taehyun blinked and turned to him, his eyes meeting Beomgyu's with a flicker of something unspoken. He was only silent for a moment, but soon enough, he sighed softly as a smile grew on his face once more, though there was still tension lingering.
"Yeah," He said quickly, his voice a little shaky. "I'm... okay. I just... I just didn't expect all of this, you really did this for... me?"
"I wanted to," Beomgyu was quick to respond, not letting himself falter for a moment. "It's... It's what you deserve, even if it's not the real thing or not, you deserve to experience what it could feel like."
The relief that washed over Taehyun's face was instant, the tension now gone, but it didn't stop his heart from racing. The way Taehyun looked at him, so full of something he couldn't quite place, was enough to make him feel dizzy. He wasn't used to being looked at like... that.
"You're amazing," Taehyun said, his tone carrying a tender heaviness to it. "You know that?"
Beomgyu froze, his breath catching in his throat. He has heard that compliment many times from other people, but their words never held the gentle and sweet tone that Taehyun had. His stomach began to twist into a fuzzy mess, his mind blanking as he opened his mouth to say something, only for it to feel impossibly dry.
"I-I wouldn't go that far," He stammered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "I'm just... helping you complete a regret."
"And Im grateful," Taehyun said, his eyes lingering on the basket full of tangerines and the tray of tteok. "I just... didn't expect you to go all out, this must've been expensive."
"You're worth it."
The words came out so easily, so naturally, that he barely realized he'd said them until Taehyun's eyes had widened. There was something in his eyes, something heavy and tender that made his chest ache with every passing moment.
It wasn't until he realized how those words sounded, his eyes widening as he coughed a little in embarrassment. "I-I mean, you're just worth the money- I-It's no big deal!"
Taehyun didn't laugh. Instead, he just smiled at him, a soft, bittersweet curve of his lips that made his stomach flip. For a moment, the air between them felt heavier, charged with something Beomgyu couldn't put into words.
He wanted to ask what Taehyun was thinking, why he was looking at him like that, but he was too afraid of the answer. Instead, he gestured to the table, forcing a grin. "So what do you think of all of this stuff?"
Taehyun's eyes immediately lit up, his excitement breaking the tension. "Oh my gosh," He gushed, turning back to the table. "It's perfect, Gyu! Are the tangerines from the island? That's amazing! I've always heard Jeju tangerines are sweeter and make the best drinks!"
Beomgyu let out a quiet breath of relief, leaning back and watching as the younger began rambling on and on about every single thing on the coffee table. And he tried, he really did try to focus on the words he was saying, but he couldn't help but get distracted as a weird feeling bloomed in his chest.
He wanted this moment to last forever — the soft glow of the lights, the warmth of Taehyun's presence, the pure joy on his face and in his tone.
He wanted to enjoy this forever.
But beneath it all, there was a small nagging voice in his head stirring from his anxiety.
He's going to leave.
The thought hit him like a punch to the gut, and he clenched his fists, forcing himself to stay calm. That was the point of this entire thing, anyway. To get Taehyun into the afterlife, so he won't be a lost ghost roaming the Earth anymore. Yet... it just felt... so wrong.
At first he wanted him to leave, he was uncomfortable with the idea of a supernatural being staying in his home, but now... it was different — he was stuck between whether he truly wanted him gone or not.
But he can't be selfish, this is for Taehyun, to get him to pass on peacefully.
Because that's what he wanted.
"Is this hallabong chocolate?" Taehyun suddenly asked, snapping Beomgyu out of his spiraling thoughts. "Oh! I've always wanted to try these! Hyung, can you try one?"
Beomgyu blinked, caught off guard by the request. "Of course," He said quickly, reaching for the box. "Do you want me to peel some for you?"
Taehyun froze for a moment, his radiant smile faltering ever so slightly. His eyes dropped to the table, scanning the untouched food before him.
And that's when it hit Beomgyu like a crashing wave.
Taehyun hadn't touched a single thing — not the tangerines, not the tteok, not even the chocolate.
The weight of reality settled on him, heavier than ever. He'd been so wrapped up in planning this perfect moment, making sure he had everything that represented Jeju, that he had overlooked one issue.
Taehyun couldn't eat, because he was a ghost.
Beomgyu's chest tightened, and he immediately straightened up as he covered his mouth — mentally cursing at himself. "Taehyun, oh my god. I-I'm so sorry!" He stammered, guilt flooding in. "It slipped my mind, I forgot that you can't—"
"It's okay, please don't apologize!" Taehyun interrupted, shaking his head gently as he raised his hands in a somewhat reassuring manner, though there was a slight strain in his tone. "If anything, I'm sorry. I'd love to eat every single thing on this table, I really would, but..."
Taehyun glanced down, his lips trembling as he stared at the delicacies on the table. A hint of sadness and guilt flashed on his face which made Beomgyu's heart clench at the sight — but he forced himself to smile, reaching out even though he knew he couldn't touch him.
"It's not your fault, Taehyun," He said softly, his voice warm as his hand twitched, the urge to hold him strong, but he knew he couldn't. "You being here with me is more than enough."
Taehyun tilted his head up as his eyes met his, and for a moment, they just stared at each other. An unspoken understanding passing between them, slowly, a smile spread across the younger's lips making Beomgyu's chest tighten at the sight.
"I'm grateful too," Taehyun replied, his voice soft as he raised his hand and placed it next to Beomgyu's — twitching to just intertwine their hands together. "It's just... times like these makes me feel... sad that I'm dead."
Beomgyu's stomach twisted uncomfortably at the quiet admission. He could see the weight of guilt and sadness etched into Taehyun's features, and it wasn't what he wanted. He wanted this moment to be full of joy, not melancholy.
"I mean... but being a ghost has its perks, right?" Beomgyu said quickly, forcing a playful tone into his voice. "You can walk through walls, float around, pull off cool ghost tricks. That's gotta be way better than being stuck as a boring human."
Taehyun stared at him, his expression blank for a moment before the light slowly came back to life in his eyes, a cheeky smile growing on his lips as he looked away, a faint red hue painting his cheeks.
"Yeah, I guess it is but..." He paused, mumbling the rest of his sentence under his breath so quietly that Beomgyu could barely hear it.
"What did you say?"
"Huh? Oh, I said eat well for me!" Taehyun immediately replied, his face flushing a brighter shade of red and his tone was rushed and unsure. "L-Let's just... continue on! Can't let your efforts go to waste!"
Beomgyu raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced, but he chose not to push. Instead, they settled into a comfortable rhythm, pretending to be on Jeju Island as they talked and laughed. Taehyun "swam" through the air, eliciting uncontrollable laughter from him, while Beomgyu played videos of Snoopy Garden, narrating them as if they were strolling through the actual park.
The air grew lighter with every passing moment, the tension from earlier melting away like snow in the sun.
Beomgyu couldn't stop staring at Taehyun's radiant smile, the way his entire presence seemed to glow with happiness. A strange warmth settled in his chest, equal parts joy and longing.
Soon enough, the minutes that passed by began to turn into comfortable hours. The both of them doing their best to make the best out of the limited resources that they had, but for Taehyun, it was everything he could ever wanted.
Jeju or not, at least he was here with Beomgyu.
Eventually, the both of them grew content and became relaxed. With the both of them leaning against the couch side by side, watching videos of Jeju Island, it felt so... nice to just be like this.
"Are the lights supposed to represent the sunset or stars on the island?" Taehyun asked after a while, leaning against the couch as he stared up at the fairy lights the elder had strung up.
Beomgyu followed his gaze, his own eyes tracing the glow of the lights. "Whatever you want them to be," He replied with a faint smile. "I like to think they're stars, but the colors could be a sunset too."
Taehyun hummed thoughtfully, pulling his knees to his chest and resting his chin on them. His eyes stayed fixed on the "stars," a soft, content look on his face as he absentmindedly traced patterns on the rug with his finger.
"I always imagined myself sitting at one of the beaches there," He spoke up, his voice quieter now, eyes filled with admiration. "If it was night, I'd name all the constellations in the sky, maybe even research about stories about them. If it was day, I'd just... admire the sun. The way it reflects stars off the water, the warmth of it on my skin. I think I'd have spent hours just... there."
As Taehyun spoke, Beomgyu found himself lost in the younger's voice and words. The way he described the beach, the constellations, the sun — it was so pure and vivid that he could almost see it, almost feel it.
"Maybe I'll be there with my loved ones, whoever was by my side when I was alive," Taehyun continued, his voice breathy before he slowly looked over at Beomgyu — holding vulnerability in his eyes. "Maybe I'd be with you."
In that moment, Beomgyu felt his fingers twitch, and his mind began to buzz with a sudden clarity he hadn't felt in days, not since that day.
The scenery. The colors. The emotions. They were all mixing in together creating this vivid imagery that he wanted to release.
With even thinking, he stood up abruptly, startling Taehyun.
"Beomgyu?"
Beomgyu hesitated for a moment, glancing down at the younger before he took off — immediately leaving the living room as his legs carried him over towards the staircase. His heart pounded as the vision in his head grew stronger, Taehyun's words repeating in his head over and over like a melody that needed to be released and heard.
He barely noticed how Taehyun had instantly followed him, slightly floating by his side as he worriedly called out his name, but he didn't spare him a glance as he walked into the art room and immediately rushed to set up his paints.
"Beomgyu, what's going on?" Taehyun asked, watching him from the doorway, his expression filled with concern. "Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?"
Beomgyu looked over at him briefly, his eyes shining with an intensity that had stunned the ghost, mesmerized by how... energetic, he looked.
"Keep talking," Beomgyu said, rushing over towards the blank canvas, adjusting his stool before he sat down and glanced over at him one more time. "Tell me more about the beach. About the stars, about your dreams. Just keep going."
Taehyun blinked, startled by the request. He glanced at the blank canvas, then at the paints in his hand. Slowly, realization dawned on him, and a soft, knowing smile curved his lips.
"Alright."
He floated slightly closer, standing by the elders side as he continued, his beautiful voice filling the room as he spoke out his dreams with pure love and joy, waving vivid images that seemed to flow directly from his mind to Beomgyu's hand.
"I'd say my favorite time would be at night," He continued, his tone light and dreamy. "The stars would take over the sky. So many of them — more than you could ever imagine. I'd lie back on the sand, point them out one by one, naming the constellations: Orion, Cassiopeia, maybe even Perseus too."
Beomgyu's hand moved instinctively, mixing colors together to create the feel of the night sky after a sunset, blending deep blues and blacks. Dots of white followed, scattered like tiny diamonds, forming the constellations he had just described. His hands were shaky, but he stayed grounded, each stroke carrying a light urgency he hadn't felt in so long once again.
"The breeze," Taehyun smiled brightly, floating a little bit up as he crossed his arms and he leaned on top of the easel. "It would be cool, refreshing, carrying the scent of the sea, salty, but clean. I'd close my eyes and just... be."
Beomgyu paused for a moment, his hands hesitating on the next stroke as the disgusting pitiful anxiety began to swirl in his stomach once more. Doubt creeping into his mind until he slowly glanced up at Taehyun who was staring at him with so much warmth and care in his eyes — he suddenly felt motivated to continue on.
"And the moon," Taehyun added, his voice barely above a whisper now. "It would shine so brightly, reflecting white hues off the waves. It would feel like it was watching over me, healing me... healing us."
Beomgyu's hand slowly started to tremble less as he began painting the moon, making sure he added all of the faint details. The soft glow casting a serene light, onto the water creating a starry illusion on its surface.
As minutes passed by, Beomgyu began losing himself in the feeling of making this vision come to life, making sure every little details was there as he began painting the sand, a small figure sitting in the middle, staring up at the sky filled with stars.
And with one final stroke, he finally leaned back, breathing out a heavy breath when he realized what he had done once again. His eyes widening at the painting, imperfect, but beautiful, in front of him.
Just like the white lily field, Taehyun had managed to make him envision and paint something once again.
I did it. Beomgyu breathed out, staring at the canvas in front of him disbelief. Why... why...? How do I...?
He still felt that faint wave of anxiety twisting within him, the urge to get up and not look back at the canvas was strong. But he forced himself to stay, stay and admire what he had done because... this was Taehyun's vision.
And he made it come to life.
"Gyu."
Beomgyu froze, Taehyun's soft voice pulling him from the haze of his focus. Slowly, he turned his head, and the world seemed to narrow as his gaze landed on the younger ghost.
Taehyun was close — closer than he had realized. His face was bathed in the warm light from the fairy lights above, his features soft and relaxed in a way that seemed almost ethereal. Beomgyu's heart thudded in his chest, loud and insistent, as their eyes met.
Everything else — the room, the painting, the lingering doubts in his mind — faded into the background. All he could see was Taehyun, the faint glow of happiness that surrounded him, the way his lips curved into a gentle, unwavering smile.
Yet his eyes held a whole different emotion.
"It's beautiful." Taehyun said, his voice quiet but filled with so much care that it made his breath catch.
The compliment was heartwarming, but the way the younger said it made it seem like it wasn't fully directed towards the painting at all, he was only staring at him.
Beomgyu felt a rush of heat flush over his cheeks. He wasn't quite sure if it was out of embarrassment or something more, but he couldn't bring himself to look away. Only falling deeper into that trance, his eyes wandered, tracing the line of Taehyun's jaw, the curve of his lips.
The fire in his stomach, the one that had reignited when he began painting, flared hotter, making him feel lightheaded. His hand twitched with an urge he couldn't name, an ache to close the distance that lingered between them.
The words "thank you" was lingering on the tip of his tongue, but he felt frozen. Unable to say them as he parted his mouth, his eyes slowly landing on those pretty lips that held the most beautiful smile.
"Let's hang it up!" Taehyun suddenly said, making the spell instantly break — his eyes widening when the ghost had backed away.
what had just... happened...?
"Oh... uhm... yeah." He coughed, realizing he's been embarrassingly silent for a while, standing up as he glanced at the painting that was suddenly interesting once again. "It's... still drying though."
"That's fine!" Taehyun beamed brightly, heading over to the wooden table to check on the white lilies. "More time to spend with you."
Beomgyu forced himself to smile as Taehyun rambled on about how the whole bringing Jeju to home thing was amazing, and how his painting looked even more beautiful than the image he had envisioned. He tried his best to pay attention, but he was drowning in that weird fuzzy sensation, making him choke on his words.
"I'm just so grateful," Taehyun sighed dreamily, his eyes filled with joy. "We're one regret down, now two more to go! I'm so excited!"
The words hit Beomgyu like a splash of cold water.
Regrets.
Right.
This whole thing had been about fulfilling Taehyun's regrets, helping him find peace so he could move on to the afterlife.
Just like before, he started to feel strange about the idea of Taehyun leaving, but this time it was stronger — making him question everything that he was doing.
Beomgyu slowly looked over towards the ghost, watching as the younger was admiring the painting that came to life just now. His eyes so bright and his body language just screamed happiness, but he felt... so...
Deep inside, a part of him ached at the thought of letting him go.
No. He shook the thought away, clenching his fists. This wasn't about him. It never had been.
He shouldn't be selfish.
So with a deep breath, Beomgyu focused solely on making sure the rest of Taehyun's regrets were fulfilled, making sure that he could... leave... happily.
They still had time, two regrets and a mystery to solve.
Pushing aside his anxiety, the fear that came from painting, the strange new emotions that was driving him insane — he wanted to focus on Taehyun only, to get his regrets fulfilled.
Because he knew it was the... right... thing to do...?
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
"You look more happy."
Beomgyu glanced up from his phone, raising an eyebrow as he turned his attention to Soobin, who was sprawled out on the couch across from him. "What are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about," Soobin replied, his tone teasing as he sank deeper into the cushions, his arms folded lazily behind his head. "You look... better. Healthier. Happier."
The scoff that escaped him was far from amusement, filled with irritation and a bit of panic. Beomgyu shook his head, glancing away as his fingers fidgeted with the edge of his phone case. "Maybe it's because I've been away from people, I was serious. Moving here has been better than any showcase."
"Yeah, that could be it." Soobin hummed, glancing down at the coffee table and the small bowl of tangerines. "...or is it something more? There's been... a different vibe about you recently."
Beomgyu avoided his brother's gaze, his stomach stirring up with anxiety because he knew Soobin was right. He felt more different lately.
It had been a around two weeks since he had managed to complete Taehyun's Jeju Island regret, two weeks since he had managed to paint something once again with the help of the younger talking — and in all honesty, his mind and heart was a mess.
Taehyun had been... his usual self... but Beomgyu had started to notice that the younger had became clingy, more than usual. It was the both of them alone at the house majority of the time, and he wouldn't leave his side not for a minute.
The only time he wouldn't be by Beomgyu's side was when he would go into the bathroom, and the privacy was nice, but the weird memory of the younger saying he was... scared of it... always made him question why.
Nothing felt off about the bathroom except the faint feeling of dread inside of it, but he just ignored it up to this point.
It was frustrating him so much, the way he was slowly becoming dependent on Taehyun every day — whenever he was upset or felt his anxiety stirring, the younger would be there to distract him with some random conversation topic or saying something bizarre to throw him off guard.
He looked forward to waking up every morning, seeing that pretty face bathed in the ray of lights that beamed through the window, always greeting him with a fond smile and all.
He looked forward to the little conversations here and there, having him around every hour, and the mysterious white lilies that keep popping up, always adding them to the vase in the art room. There was four now.
The art room, which was once his attempted sanctuary had become their sanctuary, a place where he loses himself — whenever Taehyun would talk, he would sketch those things here and there, but painting? He could only bring himself to do it whenever the younger would talk about his visions.
For the first time in a while, he had slowly started enjoying the thrill of painting something once again.
It scared him, he's known Taehyun for around a month now, and his strange feeling towards the ghost had been messing with his head. He barely knows the real Taehyun, it was a struggle finding ways to recollect memories from when he was alive.
All he knows was that he had died four years ago, he was twenty (technically twenty-four?), he had a best friend, and he... had a... partner. A partner who gave him either a promise or engagement ring.
That last fact made him feel so... bitter for some reason.
There was another reason why he was slowly becoming dependent on the younger, because he had somehow managed to bring back his spark for painting again. He wanted to hold onto that feeling badly, with Taehyun by his side, he managed to paint more in just a few days than he was able to without him.
He wants to keep that thrill, but he knew... it would be selfish if he did.
Two regrets, the answer to his death, that's all the time he had with him.
He had... these selfish desires, maybe he could prolong the second regret, maybe they'll never find out who is his third regret, and his death will remain a mystery. So he could keep him around longer.
But he knew Taehyun wanted to pass on.
He would sometimes catch him staring at the white lily painting for long periods of time, his eyes filled with yearning and hope — a hope that he doesn't want to shatter because of his selfishness.
But... fuck... does he want him to stay.
"By the way, do you want me to buy you a heater or something for this place?"
Beomgyu was pulled straight out of his spiraling thoughts when Soobin spoke up again, causing him to flinch as he looked over at the elder with a curious gaze. "A... heater? Uhm, no... why?"
"It's just so cold in here, Gyu," Soobin said, bringing his arms together as he rubbed them, shivering slightly. "It's like a freezer up in here, how have you not gotten hypothermia or something yet?"
Beomgyu winced hearing that, his eyes widening as he now realized that it was a little bit cold inside of the house — but it wasn't that cold. Maybe he had gotten used to the chills and low air temperature since Taehyun has been around, always leaving behind some cold air wherever he's been.
But Taehyun was currently out right now, in the woods by that pond he had mentioned before, since Soobin had shown up out of nowhere, the ghost offered to just leave the place so he wouldn't frighten him.
He wanted to disagree and tell him it's fine since he's practically invisible to everyone but him, but Taehyun reassured him it was all fine, and that he'd just come back later.
It was safe to say he kinda missed him.
"In my defense it's like, super hot outside," Beomgyu muttered, trying to act nonchalant as he paid attention to his phone. "Anyways, why are you here? Don't you have like... a cafe to run? You'll definitely get shut down because you're neglecting it."
"Can I not spend time with my adorable little brother?" Soobin said, a light tease in his tone which made Beomgyu scowl slightly. "I'm just checking in on you and all, with your mental health and stuff."
Well, he can't be that angry about it, he knew Soobin cared a lot for him — but he just doesn't want him to constantly be around, he felt guilty. He knew the elder had so many other things to juggle, he didn't want him to juggle his own issues.
"I'm just tired," Beomgyu replied softly, sitting up properly as he looked away. "...but I swear I'm okay."
Soobin stared at him for a moment, he didn't say anything or give any reaction, perhaps he was just closely examining Beomgyu's face and body language to see any fault in his words. But after a moment, he just sighed and nodded his head.
"Well, then... can I ask about your painting progress?"
Beomgyu felt his body tense up at the question. There it was. The question Soobin would ask every single time he was around.
He stayed silent, unable to answer the question — what was the right answer? What was the wrong answer? Was there an answer he could say to get him to stop asking so much? He knew he was just doing it out of pure heart, he was worried, but every time that question is asked... he feels anxious.
His jaw clenched tightly as he began to overthink what answer could help him, or what answer would be wrong. Would Soobin be disappointed if he said he's still struggling for inspiration? Would he be happy if he had told him he... tried...?
How is my painting progress going...? He questioned himself, his brows furrowing as his mouth parted to say something, only to close again. It's not much but... I...
Beomgyu paused when images of those paintings flashed in his mind, causing his breath to hitch as Taehyun's sweet smile replayed in his head, his soft and gentle voice echoing out in his head — his words guiding every brush and stroke he made on the canvas.
In that moment, he felt a bit of hope wash through him.
"It's..." He started softly, glancing at Soobin who was staring at him with patience in his eyes, making his chest tighten. "It's... uhm... I... I managed to... paint two canvases, but they're not perfect—"
"That's amazing, Gyu." Soobin cut him off, his voice wavering for a moment and the smile that formed on his face made him feel less guilty. "Perfect or not, you still managed to paint again, yeah? Take your time with it."
Beomgyu felt his mouth go dry, the words processed in his head slowly — he has heard these words before, but now it felt... better. Instead of brushing it off and lying about how he'll get better like he always did, he found himself slowly accepting those words.
Maybe it's because a specific ghost boy had managed to ease him down.
Not everything has to be perfect.
"Thanks, Bin." Beomgyu said weakly.
"Anytime, Gyu." Soobin smiled.
The next few minutes were just silent between them, and Beomgyu didn't mind Soobin's company at all but he was really wishing Taehyun would come back already — he was starting to miss him like crazy.
Speaking of Taehyun...
I have to somehow complete his next regret soon. He fell into deep thought, though his heart was betraying him from how tight it felt just thinking about it. What was it again...? Fireworks, right? I could just buy fireworks and light them up, that'll work?
No... no, it was a specific kind of fireworks. He bit the bottom of his lip, brows furrowing in frustration. Summer... festival... fireworks? A summer festival? There's like multiple every year, could it be any summer festival?
"What are you thinking so hard about over there?"
Beomgyu glanced up and over towards Soobin who was staring at him curiously, he was about to shrug it off and say it was nothing until he realized that maybe he could... help him... somehow.
"Uhm... have you heard about any summer festivals going around?" Beomgyu asked, trying to maintain the calmness in his voice.
"Summer festivals?" Soobin repeated, a bit confused. "I can... search it up, I mean I think Yeonjun once mentioned something to me about one going on near one of the parks in the city with a guy he had met at work, why?"
There's one in one of the parks? In the city? That's close. Beomgyu's eyes widened a little bit, an idea forming in his head. But... does it have to be a specific festival? No, he didn't specify, all he did was just say he wanted to see the fireworks.
"Did he mention that there were any fireworks during the festival?" He asked, earning another confused look. "I'm just wondering."
Soobin hummed softly, biting the inside of his cheek while he thought hard about it. "I think so? He did say that the person he went to go see it with had a friend who loved fireworks, so he wanted to go to a festival that specifically had fireworks at the end."
In that moment, Beomgyu felt himself immediately become excited. A summer festival in the city with fireworks? That's perfect, that's exactly what he needed!
But... going out into public... gave him anxiety.
He promised to himself that he wouldn't show his face again until he had inspiration once again, that he felt ashamed for walking around after announcing his hiatus so suddenly, that people were going to be mad at him.
It scared him.
"Are you thinking about going?" Soobin asked, tilting his head — noticing the contemplating expression on the males face. "Do you want me to go with you? I can get us some tickets, only if you're comfortable."
The offer did sound nice, but... he wanted to go there with Taehyun only.
But he was nervous, what would happen if someone recognizes him? What if someone says something about his break? What if he gets shamed for suddenly taking one?
Beomgyu bit down on the bottom of his lip, his thoughts becoming louder by the second, but this was for Taehyun, this was his regret. He deserves to see all the fireworks before he leaves.
So with a hesitant sigh, he shook his head.
"No," He said, more like breathed out, as if he was admitting defeat to something. "I'm... I kinda want to just go by myself, it'll be... nice to go out and spend some time for myself in a place that isn't here."
Soobin gave him a worried expression, as if he knew that wasn't the full truth, but he just nodded his head, not bothering to say anymore. "That sounds like a good thing, I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. And since you'll be gone, you could call some place to come fix all these cracks in your walls and windows."
Beomgyu gave him a soft smile, looking around the house for a moment, maybe it was time to fix some things, just so it could have a little bit more life inside. "Yeah, I think I will."
"Then I'll ask Yeonjun to send more details about the festival, don't worry! Just have fun!"
A wave of relief washed over him right away when Soobin didn't push to join him, making him ease down right away as he nodded his head, thanking his brother softly who began rambling on and on about some crazy customers he encountered while working.
Yet, he wasn't paying attention at all.
All he could think about was how excited Taehyun will be when they go to this summer festival, to see fireworks once again.
How excited he'll be when they finally complete his second regret.
Even if the thought of it broke his heart a little, he couldn't wait to make him happy.
"Beomgyu, where are we going?"
"I said it was a surprise, you'll just have to wait."
"You can't do this to me!" Taehyun said, his voice coming out in a playful whine as he smiled widely. "It's my first time going to the city in a while, and you're hiding it from me? Are you sure you're just not abandoning me on the side of the road?"
"What?" Beomgyu laughed loudly, glancing at the ghost for a moment before he focused on the road again. "Of course not! I just thought that I would surprise you with something, head out while the house gets fixed, it isn't that bad."
"Just one hint, Gyu!"
Beomgyu laughed softly, shaking his head as he focused on the road once more. His heart was a racing frenzy at the moment, he couldn't help but almost give into the temptation of telling Taehyun where they were going, but he held on strong — he wanted this to be special.
After Soobin had asked Yeonjun all the details about the summer festival that he had went to with the mysterious person he was talking to, he had sent him all of the details right away, which allowed Beomgyu to research the festival and found that there were dates for it on Saturday.
Which was a perfect day for him to call some people to come fix the house up while they were out and about at the festival.
Even though he was buzzing with anticipation and somewhat excitement, Beomgyu couldn't help but feel anxious. This was his first time in a while heading out into public "alone", and saying he was nervous did not even come close to the full depth of emotions he felt.
It's all fine, this is for Taehyun.
But people can't see him.
Am I gonna look insane? Will people think I look insane if I talk to air?
Will people think I'm insane for going to a festival alone? Maybe I should've brought Soobin with me.
His grip around the steering wheel tightened as those thoughts began to slowly creep in. He hated it so much, why couldn't he think positive for one day? Why did he have to worry about every single little thing?
The fact he was even thinking about himself when this whole entire thing was for Taehyun made him feel so selfish, he should be spending time and making efforts making sure that his regrets were fulfilled — he did it with Jeju Island, so he can do this again.
"Gyu?"
Beomgyu flinched when he suddenly heard Taehyun calling out his name, his head snapping over to look at the younger who was staring at him curiously, a bit of worry in his eyes, making him feel instantly guilty. "Oh. Uhm. Yeah?"
"The... light is green."
Beomgyu's eyes widened as he immediately looked forward, his heart dropping down to his stomach when he saw that the light was indeed green, making him immediately continue driving, wondering if he had been spacing out for a while or not.
"Oh, shit, sorry." He muttered under his breath, trying to focus on making Taehyun happy. "I got distracted, good thing we didn't get hit... right?"
Taehyun gave him a weak smile, which made his stomach churn. He could tell that the younger was examining him closely, he could tell that Taehyun knew there was something wrong — but he didn't want to ruin the mood, he didn't want to ruin this at all.
Beomgyu bit the inside of his cheek to distract himself from his running mind, glancing down at his phone at the GPS, they were only a few more minutes away from the spot where the summer festival was being held.
This is for Taehyun. Stop overthinking everything.
Shove your feelings aside, this is for him.
"Hey..." Taehyun spoke up, his tone softer and more calmer than the excited one he had just a few moments ago. "Is everything alright? You look anxious, Gyu."
"It's fine- I'm fine!" Beomgyu strained out, smiling awkwardly as he waved a dismissive hand. "I'm just... happy... this surprise is really nice, my friend Yeonjun came here with some guy he's talking to and he enjoyed it a lot!"
Taehyun was silent for a moment, just blinking until he looked out the window, his gaze distracted as if he were deep in thought.
The silence started to make Beomgyu even more anxious than before, but maybe he didn't have anything else to say, right? Maybe he believed the excuse, this whole thing is about him anyway—
"The place we're going to," Taehyun spoke up, his tone careful. "It's going to have a lot of people there, isn't it?"
Beomgyu's body immediately tensed up when he heard the question asked, his grip on the steering wheel tightening once more as he bit the tip of his tongue — unsure whether he should answer the question or not.
"It..." He hesitated, his hands trembling. Why was it suddenly so suffocating being under Taehyun's gaze? Why couldn't he bring himself to answer the question? "...not that much...?"
A frown began to form on the younger's face, his gaze not once leaving Beomgyu's figure. He stayed silent for a moment, as if he were thinking about something until he finally spoke up. "Gyu, if we're going to a place with a bunch of people and it makes you uncomfortable, then I don't want to go at all. I don't want you to be forced to... go somewhere you're not comfortable in."
A wave of guilt began to wash down on him upon hearing that. Here he was, planning something special for Taehyun, only to ruin it because of his damn feelings. It made him sick.
"No, no," Beomgyu shook his head, paying attention to the road — they were only ten more minutes away from the park. "I... I want to go, trust me. Whatever I feel, it's not important at all—"
"You're important to me, Beomgyu."
Beomgyu's breath hitched, his eyes widening as his body immediately went on autopilot. His foot slamming down on the breaks, causing the car to screech loudly at the next light (which was thankfully red), causing both him and Taehyun to flinch at the abrupt stop.
"Beom—"
"Don't," Beomgyu breathed out, harsher than he intended, glancing over at Taehyun. "This is for you, this is all for you. Please, don't think I'm forcing myself to do this. I'm scared, yes, but... if it's for you, I'd... push through it all."
"B-But you said... I heard you say that you wanted to retreat from the public's eye, are you sure...?" Taehyun asked worriedly, though there was a faint blush that washed over his cheeks after hearing his words.
Beomgyu pursed his lips tightly, his own words echoing out in his head. The younger was right, he wanted a retreat from the entire world, but now here he was going back on his word once again — all because of him.
"I..." He croaked out, his voice barely above a whisper, unsure of what to say. "I did say that... and I still want to... be away, but I think this would be good for me to... take a step out, stop hiding, and just maybe... maybe it'll give me a bit of inspiration once again."
I'm doing this for you, to see that smile on your face.
"I don't want you uncomfortable."
"I'm not uncomfortable," Beomgyu simply replied, trying to keep his voice steady. "I have you here with me."
Taehyun's eyes widened a little after hearing that, his pupils dilating just a little bit before a shy smile broke lose on his lips, causing him to look away and cover his face, shaking his head as a small laugh escaped him. "The lights green, by the way."
A small gasp escaped from his lips as he immediately looked forward, starting the car up once more as he cursed under his breath, something along the lines of "this is the second time" and "fucking lights." making Taehyun laugh softly.
The atmosphere around them began to ease down once more, what was once tense was now a calming feeling, though he was a little bit nervous.
But anything for him.
After a few more minutes they finally arrived at the huge park where the summer festival was being held, though it took a moment to find an open parking spot, Beomgyu managed to find one near the entrance of the park, his nerves increasing by the second.
However, Taehyun was fascinated, his eyes widened at the sight of multiple vendor and game stalls lined up neatly near the main road. All of the festive stands where people sold little trinkets here and there, some selling balloons or offering face paints. It was absolutely perfect for a summer festival.
He soon turned his head, his eyes widening in fascination at the beautiful lake nearby the park, its surfacing sparkling beautifully underneath the glow of the sun, surrounded by a huge field of grass.
Taehyun was quiet, almost too quiet that it felt foreign. The ghost was always so talkative or always made noise, but seeing him silent in awe made Beomgyu's heart twist in such a strange way.
After a bit, he finally turned his head and looked over at him, his expression flushed and overwhelmed. "Gyu? Is this..."
"You told me that your second regret was that you never got to see a summer festival fireworks," Beomgyu said right away, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "I... wasn't sure which summer festival you were referring to, but I managed to find this one and... I wanted to bring you. So we can watch the fireworks." Together.
The bottom of Taehyun's lip began to quiver, his eyes becoming glossy, as an adorable little pout began to form on his lips, but the sight of his eyes watering made Beomgyu's heart drop.
"Are you—"
"Gyu! You're the best!" Taehyun sobbed loudly, covering his face which had no tears running down, but was flushed red. "Seriously! You're doing all of this for me? I'm so happy, you don't know how excited I am to see the fireworks, especially with you!"
Beomgyu felt his throat tighten at the sight, his heart skipping a beat as the praises sank into his heart, creating a soft fluttery swirling storm to erupt in his stomach. "I..It's no big deal, Tyun, I just... wanted you to be happy."
"Of course I'm happy!" Taehyun beamed brightly, a wide smile growing on his face, his cheeks a hue of red — especially from the new nickname. "I wish I could hug you, I'm so grateful!"
I wish I could hug you.
Hearing that sentence felt like a knife twisting harshly in his gut. It made his smile falter as he stared at Taehyun who saw no wrong in what he said, but Beomgyu felt his heart tighten at that sentence.
He knew they couldn't.
But he wishes they could.
"L-Let's just go," Beomgyu breathed out, stuttering just a little as he tried to ignore the growing pain in his stomach. "We have to check out everything then find the best spot to see the fireworks."
"Of course! Wait- oh! Make sure to win lots of prizes and eat lots of food for me!"
"Seriously?" He snickered under his breath. "Are you trying to make me go broke?"
"Maybe," Taehyun grinned cheekily. "Maybe that's my real goal! But seriously, let's have some fun here, especially for me!"
Beomgyu let out a laugh, rolling his eyes playfully as he gathered his belongings — ignoring the way his heart was a rapid beating mess. He quickly opened the door and got out of his car, slamming the door shut as his smile nearly dropped, almost turning panicked at the sight in front of him.
Holy shit, there was a lot of people.
Maybe he had underestimated the amount of people that would be at a literal summer festival, maybe he was too into his head about this whole thing, but the moment he stepped out of his car and saw the whole crowd of people in the festival ground area, he felt himself instantly becoming sick.
Oh, fuck. He immediately panicked, watching as huge groups of people walked in and out of the festival grounds. Shit. Shit shit. there's too many people, oh god. oh god.
Although he was still by his car in the parking, away from the crowd for now, he felt a heavy wave of anxiety begun to weigh down upon him. His breathing becoming shaky as he stared at all of the huge groups coming in and out, the sounds of loud chatter and laughter echoing loudly in his head.
His hands began to feel clammy, his chest began to tighten. There were so many people, and amongst those people, were there ones who knew him? Were there ones who were angry with his break? Were there ones who are disappointed in him for suddenly disappearing for nearly a month?
He can't do this.
No, no, no he can't do this.
I can't- I can't breathe. He parted his mouth, feeling his breathing become heavier. I can't move, why does everything feel like it's in slow motion?
His legs began to feel weak, that at any given moment they would buckle in right then and there and he would lose his balance. His heart pounding against his chest so loudly he could hear it ringing in his ears.
He swore he was ready for this. He tried reassuring himself. He can't ruin this now.
Festival. Fireworks. Taehyun.
This is for Taehyun. This is all for Taehyun.
He was being selfish, oh god, he was being so fucking selfish for panicking all because of the huge crowd — all because of his fears and anxiety.
"Beomgyu?"
Taehyun has been waiting for this moment, this was his second regret — he can't ruin it for him.
"Gyu?"
But what if there were people who recognized him? What if there were people who were disappointed in his actions, would they ask him to come back? Would they call him ungrateful? Would they be angry?
He escaped to a quieter place because of this, because of those thoughts, but it's been so long — thought he was ready, was he truly ready? Fuck, he doesn't even know at this point. But he needs to force himself to do this because if he doesn't then he won't make him happy and—
"Choi Beomgyu!"
Just before he could sink further into his spiraling thoughts, a harsh, freezing, chill erupted all throughout his body — causing him to snap back into reality as he jumped back and gasped loudly, his eyes widened as he spun around and saw Taehyun staring at him worriedly.
"W-What the hell, Taehyun?!" He exclaimed, unsure whether he was angry or shocked, maybe both. "Did you just... float through me again or something?"
The worried expression on the ghosts face made him absolutely sick, he felt sick to his stomach when he realized that he had made this whole thing about himself again — centered around himself. This entire thing was for Taehyun, for him to leave to the afterlife happily, but here he was ruining it all.
Taehyun was silent, only staring at him. It was as if he was deep in thought until he glanced at the festival grounds behind him before looking back, making his stomach drop.
"I..." Beomgyu croaked out, immediately searching for an excuse. "Sorry, I was... let's just go—"
"Hyung," Taehyun spoke, his tone gentle and tender. "Please be honest with me, are you... uncomfortable? Heading into the crowd? Please don't lie to me, please... tell me your feelings."
Beomgyu pursed his lips tightly, his body feeling more tensed than before. They shouldn't be having this conversation, it's irrelevant. They had bigger problems to tend to instead of his idiotic feelings, his idiotic anxiety, especially when they're in the parking lot.
He wanted to lie, he wanted to reassure him that it was all fine.
but...
When he glanced up, and stared into those caring eyes, it felt like a string was tugging at his heart — the urge to just pour out everything and anything that's been holding him back washing over him, and it's all because of Taehyun.
why... is it always because of him...?
"I.." He hesitated, glancing around incase someone was nearby, nervous that he would look insane since only he can see the ghost. "I'm... I am scared, I'm honestly so scared. I feel awful, I want to do this for you, Tyun. But I...I feel so... alone, I feel like their eyes will be on me only."
"You're not alone," Taehyun immediately replied, taking a step forward. "Your feelings... they're understandable, you wanted away from the public's eye and now you're suddenly back, that's a drastic shift, Gyu. But if you're forcing yourself to do this, then don't, please."
"But..." He spoke, his voice cracking, tilting his head down, afraid to make eye contact. "...your regret."
"My regrets aren't important to me, Gyu," Taehyun said, standing closer — just a few inches away, his hands trembling, the urge to reach out and hold him was strong. "You're important to me, and I could wait months and months for us to complete these dumb regrets. I only want you to be happy."
Beomgyu's eyes widened hearing those words, his head snapping up — and in that moment, he felt his heart absolutely tighten.
Taehyun was standing close, very close, and if the younger took a step closer once again the tips of their noses would be touching. He couldn't help but slowly lose himself, the world fading into a blurry mess in the background as his focus only stayed on the ghost who looked ethereal.
"The fireworks can always wait," Taehyun continued on, his eyes holding a vulnerable emotion that he could barely recognize. "You're what's really important to me right now, and you could take months until you're ready again — and I'd be right here, with you. You're not alone, Gyu. You have me."
In that moment, it was like a series of fireworks exploded in his stomach, making him feel so fuzzy and strange. His heart, what was once an anxious mess, was now racing with a new reason: Taehyun.
His words echoed out in his brain over and over again. You're not alone, You have me. There was something so... so strange about the way he said it, it felt so strange how his heart and mind were now easing down — only focusing on the pretty ghost in front of him.
In that moment, the idea of being in such a crowded space didn't seem so... terrifying anymore.
So with a deep breath, he slowly calmed down, inhaling and exhaling as he felt his anxiety levels somewhat calm down — still lingering, but it was bearable now.
"Thanks," He said softly, turning to look at the younger who stared at him intently. "I swear I'm okay now, thank you, Tyun."
A smile began to grow on Taehyun's lips again, the ghost nodding eagerly as he took a step back. "Anytime, Gyu! Do you want to go home?"
Beomgyu hummed softly, looking back at the festivals entrance, thinking about the question until he shook his head. "We're already here, and it... might not be that bad. We're here for the fireworks anyway, it'll be worth it, come on."
As he turned around and started walking towards the entrance of the festival, he heard Taehyun gasp excitedly from behind him, igniting a fuzzy feeling in his stomach as he immediately felt a cold sensation behind him, aware of how the ghost had attached himself to him so they won't be separated.
"By the way," Taehyun spoke up, glancing towards him as he eagerly tried to contain his excitement. "Don't you think it'll be a bit weird that you're practically talking to air in others eyes?"
"Please don't remind me," Beomgyu groaned, he wanted to shove that thought down the furthest and deepest drain. "I don't even want to think about it, but it's pretty busy so people won't notice... I think."
Taehyun only laughed, the sound doing things to Beomgyu's heart.
The two of them waited in the long line for around fifteen-ish minutes, Taehyun talking on and on in his ear the entire time. Though he couldn't properly respond because of the people around him, he gave an occasional hum in agreement or small scoff when the ghost would say something strange.
He felt... okay. But he still felt anxious, standing there "alone" made his stomach twist and turn in a sickening way. He felt like all eyes were on him, every conversation around him felt like it was a target towards him.
But... because of the pretty ghost by his side, he felt okay to stand there, to stay strong.
Eventually, the both of them arrived to the front of the line, Beomgyu anxiously rehearsing what he was going to say in his head over and over again so he doesn't mess up or embarrass himself, god please don't let him embarrass himself.
"Hello!"
Beomgyu's head snapped up, his nerves rising as the nice worker in front of him smiled brightly, hesitantly making him smile back — god he hopes he doesn't look weird.
"How many tickets for today?" The nice worker asked, already preparing a wristband.
Oh god. Okay, just say one. You got this.
"U-Uhm..." Beomgyu hesitated, his eyes glancing towards Taehyun who stood next to him smiling brightly, causing his mind to immediately blank out. "Uh...two..?"
Shit.
Fuck.
Oh fuck he fucked up.
"Two?" Taehyun immediately burst out laughing, staring at the elder in disbelief who was about to fucking lose it.
"Two?" The worker repeated, glancing up at him as she awkwardly looked around. "Is... the group behind you with you?—"
"I meant one!" He immediately cut her off, extending his arm out as he flushed in embarrassment. "I-I'm sorry, just one wristband please."
"Uh... okay!"
The worker began to wrap the wristband around his wrist, smiling brightly as she began gushing about how the festival was fun and amazing, that being alone doesn't take away the fun at all. But honestly, Beomgyu wasn't listening at all. All he wanted to do was sink deep into the ground and bury himself because of the embarrassment.
It didn't help that a specific ghost next to him was laughing so sweetly next to him, it made his heart race.
After a moment, he finally walked in past the entrance, his eyes widening at the sight of vendor stalls and games packed with people, a little picnic area with families and friends happily eating, and even a small stage near the lake where a band was performing.
"It's even better inside the area!" Taehyun beamed, floating a bit as he followed Beomgyu, staying close to the elder. "Where do you want to go first, Gyu? There's so many activities! Let's go paint your face!"
"Paint my face?" Beomgyu repeated, his tone in pure disbelief and amusement. "Do you want me to get a ghost face paint? So we can match?"
"A ghost?" Taehyun laughed,rolling his eyes. "Nah, those stupid white cloaked boogie things are so stupid! Real ghosts are handsome and cute, like me!"
There's no wrong in that. Beomgyu thought, staring at him before he realized what he was doing. Oh my god- get a grip, idiot! He's dead!
He immediately shook away that thought, focusing on what was happening now. But he just couldn't help it, that strange weird feeling, those odd thoughts, the just kept reoccurring every single time and it was messing with both his head and heart.
It's always centered around Taehyun.
"Hyung! Hyung!"
Beomgyu's head snapped up, his eyes widening when he heard Taehyun calling out his name. For a moment, he nearly panicked when he couldn't find the ghost amongst the crowd — but when he saw Taehyun suddenly float high above the crowd and started waving him down, his heart eased down as he quickly made his way over to him.
He squeezed past groups of people and awkwardly walked between those who were in his way, trying his best to avoid eye contact with everyone, the voice in the back of his mind was screaming at him that they were all looking at him, that they were judging him.
But soon enough he managed to catch up to Taehyun who was patiently waiting for him, practically shaking from how excited he was. Which made him wish he was a ghost in that moment, that he was invisible and that the lingering feelings of eyes on him would just go away.
"What is it?" Beomgyu asked once he was closer, but he avoided looking at the ghost and focused on the food stand in front of him, just so he doesn't look crazy taking to air. "How'd you even get so far?"
"While you were distracted by your little daydream, I saw this specific food stall," Taehyun explained, moving a little so he was standing in front of Beomgyu, wanting the elders eyes on him only. "I felt... attracted to it, like it was familiar! I think... maybe when I was alive, I liked that kind of snack. Maybe it was my favorite?"
A small gasp escaped his lips as he looked at Taehyun in disbelief at the mention of a new memory, his eyes widening as he felt a... conflicting storm of emotions wash through him. Was he... happy? Yeah, he was happy that he had regained a memory... but at the same time he felt... sad.
Beomgyu glanced over at him for a moment before looking away when a group of people walked right behind the ghost, he could hear their faint conversation of "oh gosh, did it get suddenly cold?" and "it's the middle of summer, no silly!", making him bite back a small laugh.
But... this was a bit difficult, having to talk to a ghost that nobody else sees — he definitely looks insane.
So after a bit of thinking, he finally pulled out his phone and put it up to his ear, causing Taehyun to stutter over his sentence when he saw the action.
"O-Oh! Are you receiving a call?" The ghost cautiously asked, taking a step back. "Do you need me to stay quiet?"
"What? No, keep talking," Beomgyu said, his tone more lighter this time since it looked like he was on a call now. "I'm just doing this so I don't look insane, but keep talking. My eyes and ears are only on you."
Taehyun's eyes lit up after hearing that, the ghosts face flushing a bit of red as he immediately attached himself to Beomgyu's side — causing the elder to shiver at the sudden freezing cold that coursed through his body.
"See that stand?" Taehyun asked, pointing towards a food stall. "I want you to try that for me!"
Beomgyu followed his finger, slowly looking over towards a food stall where the big words "chocolate cornets!" hung big and bold on top. It threw him off guard for a moment before he nodded his head and started walking towards the food stall.
"Is there anything else you remembered?" He asked once he was in line, glancing at the ghost for a moment who was close... too close.
"Barely, but it's that feeling, you know? When you see something and it gives you inexplainable happiness and such?" Taehyun said, detaching himself from the males side as he stood in front of him. "That's what I feel right now when I look at it! I think it'll be good, even though I can't eat it, enjoy it lots for me!"
Beomgyu pursed his lips tightly, just hearing the enthusiastic tone felt reassuring, but the words cut deep. He felt... bad. Taking Taehyun out to this area filled with life and fun yet all he could do was just float around and stare, it made his chest tighten with discomfort.
"Alright," He spoke softly, vowing to do everything that the ghost asked him to do. "I'll enjoy every single thing for you here."
"You're the best, Gyu." Taehyun said, his tone tender and soft as he smiled, turning away so he could stare at the other stalls.
Beomgyu stood there silently, slowly bringing the phone down from his ear as he stared at the pretty ghost in front of him. The world all around becoming one huge blur as the noise became muffled — all he could do was focus on him, on Taehyun only.
The way the sun beamed down on the younger's face so perfectly,bringing out all of his features. How the atmosphere — so energetic and pure — just screamed perfect for him, how his heart couldn't help but want to only stay by his side and admire at him all day, it was overwhelming in such a good way.
You're the best, Taehyun. He thought, his eyes softening as his heart began to flood with that same overwhelming sensation he felt before. You bring the best out of me.
The hours began to pass by, the sun now slowly starting to set, casting a pretty golden hue all over as the festival was slowly becoming more lively, and Beomgyu felt his anxiety beginning to slowly ease down the more he spent it with Taehyun in the festival.
After he had successfully managed to buy a chocolate cornet that the ghost was boasting on and on about, having a taste which was surprisingly pleasant which made Taehyun absolutely happy knowing that Beomgyu got to try something he enjoyed when he was alive.
From there on out, the rest of the festival time was a blur.
Although Beomgyu was anxious all throughout the entire thing, having Taehyun by his side really eased it all down. They went from stall to stall, trying out (mostly him) new foods and such, and whenever he would finish it he would give an earnest review to the ghost who was excited every time.
The games however...
When they were walking around together and Beomgyu was distracted by a nice little stall, Taehyun immediately rushed over and started gushing about this basketball game stall he had seen, that he had remembered something from when he was alive, something about sports or the gym — maybe he was a person who loved working out and playing sports.
Just seeing the pure joy and excitement expressed on the younger's face made an urge ignite within him. Something shouting at him to just impress Taehyun, to show him that he did care about everything that he was telling him. All of the small broken pieces of the life he once had slowly coming back — he wanted to show him that he did care.
So without even thinking, he had strolled over towards the basketball game stall and got a brief rundown of how the game works: make five baskets and win a prize!
That's simple, super simple!
So why not dedicate every single shot to Taehyun? He is the one who enjoyed this when he was alive after all.
"Are you sure? No offense, Gyu, you don't look like the type of person to enjoy basketball."
"I played... some... when I was in high school, trust me! I can do this, I'll win a nice prize."
Taehyun only smiled awkwardly when the elder had stepped forward and exchanged the money for a shot at the game, watching as he prepared himself and grabbed onto the basketball and went off.
First shot!
Missed.
Shit. Beomgyu hissed in a breath, watching it bounce right off the hoop ring. That's fine, that's fine. Just get the other four in.
Second shot!
Missed... again.
Okay, that's fine. That's fine. This is all fine.
Third shot...!
...missed.
"Beom—"
"Shut up." He muttered under his breath, grabbing onto the basketball once again, ignoring the smug smirk from the worker.
Fourth shot.
missed.
Fifth shot...
Beomgyu held his breath as he watched the ball soar through the air, everything felt slow motion as it made its way towards the hoop — his heart racing as it slowly fell closer and closer until—
bam!
"Ohh, yikes," The worker hissed in a breath, watching the ball bounce off of the hoop once more. "Do you want to have another go?"
Beomgyu's jaw dropped in absolutely defeat, his chest tightening as he watched the basketball roll over the ground, both irritation and defeat swirling in his chest as he scoffed loudly and shook his head. "I'm good, thanks."
Before the worker could get in another say, Beomgyu immediately walked away, wanting to forget that god awful moment as Taehyun, who watched the whole entire thing with amusement, quickly followed after the elder as he smiled cheekily.
"Don't feel too down, hyung!" Taehyun beamed brightly with encouragement, walking backwards to keep his eyes on him only. "You did your best, and honestly? Who cares that you didn't make any shots or win a prize, you still tried!"
"That's easy for you to say," Beomgyu muttered under his breath, his ears a bright shade of red from the embarrassment he was enduring. "You were probably great at basketball when you were alive, I just embarrassed myself."
"I'd give you the best basketball lessons if I was still alive." Taehyun replied, smiling sweetly.
A sharp pain shot throughout Beomgyu's chest hearing that sentence, his gaze lingering on the ghosts figure for a moment before he forced himself to look away. All of this... used to be alive talk... just made him so upset.
He was so young when his life was taken away, he had so many dreams. It wasn't fair.
He just hopes whatever fate Taehyun had met, it wasn't a cruel one at all.
Beomgyu sighed softly, glancing up towards the sky where the sun was setting into beautiful colors. Light pink mixed with dark blues in between that golden glow, soon it would be night time and that would be the moment where the fireworks will paint the dark skies with their kaleidoscopic colors.
But something... there was something about it that made him feel so... melancholy.
He looked away, feeling a strange pit swirl in his stomach which made him pause, slowly noticing that Taehyun wasn't by his side anymore — causing his heart to drop down to his stomach when he realized he had lost the ghost in the crowd once again.
Shit! He nearly panicked, trying to look around discretely. I can't call out for him, I'll look insane! Shit why did he have to disappear again?
Not having him by his side made him feel sick.
Beomgyu stood there for a moment, looking around like an idiotic, avoiding the awful sensation of anxiety swirling within him, the thought gnawing at him that everyone was staring at him.
He honestly was just about to scream Taehyun's name to find him, but soon enough, his eyes landed on a specific ghost who was standing in front of a small jewlery stall, making his anxiety ease down as he quickly made his way over.
He wanted to call out him, make his presence known, but the male was standing directly in front of a few workers who were chatting away — completely oblivious about a supernatural being standing in front of their stall.
Beomgyu slowed his pace as he took a stand next to Taehyun who glanced at him for a moment before his head tilted down once again, his hands shaking as he stared down at something that might've caught his attention right away.
Just before he was going to ask what he was staring at, a sudden voice spoke up.
"Hello!" A worker beamed brightly, immediately aiding Beomgyu incase he needed something. "You're handsome! Are you searching for a bracelet or some sort? We can also make custom ones, but they're a bit more expensive, but these are all homemade!"
"Oh... uhm..." Beomgyu hesitated, awkwardly shifting on his feet — he wasn't prepared for a conversation. "I... uh... was just looking around."
"That sounds good, let me know if you need anything!"
Beomgyu gave an awkward smile to the worker who walked away for a moment, allowing him to breathe properly as he glanced over towards Taehyun who was now staring at him with a strange expression, his eyes wavering vulnerability for a moment before he took in a deep breath.
"Sorry," Taehyun spoke softly, turning his head to look at whatever bracelet had caught his attention again. "I got distracted, but... I saw this bracelet and... I thought it would look good on you. I think... when I was alive, I would give gifts out like this. Maybe for my best friend? My partner?"
Beomgyu stayed quiet, his chest tightening at the mention of the younger's boyfriend once again. He had so many mysteries behind his past, he wanted to discover it all, but he knew he was unable to. It's just that... the mention of that boyfriend made him feel so bitter inside.
"Anyways," Taehyun shook his head, returning back to his positive front, though his smile looked forced. "This bracelet right here, it would look great on you, hyung."
Beomgyu glanced down towards the males hand, his finger extended out as he pointed towards a specific bracelet that was displayed nicely on a velvet cushion: a silver chained bracelet with a white flower charm in the middle.
It was simple, but there was something about it that just... seemed right.
"I'll get it then," Beomgyu said, picking up the bracelet to examine it more. "If it's chosen by you, it's like I have a piece of you with me."
Taehyun's eyes widened hearing those words, staying silent as he smiled shyly and shook his head, glancing away from the elder as his face began to flush a bright shade of red. There was just something so sweet and beautiful about his reaction, it made his heart swell.
"Thanks, hyung."
Beomgyu smiled softly before turning his attention back towards the bracelet, his thumb gently rubbing the charm with ease—
"Choi Beomgyu...?"
Beomgyu's heart dropped down to his stomach when he heard a voice — not Taehyun's — suddenly say his name. His head snapping up as he made eye contact with a boy around his age who was staring at him in shock and recognition, a recognition that made him feel sick.
"Oh my god," The boy breathed out, his eyes widening and began to shine like stars. "Oh my god! It is you! Beomgyu, oh my gosh, it's been so long since- since anyone has seen you in public!"
Oh no. no. no no no no no.
This person. He recognized him.
His words echoed out in his head, repeating over and over again as he clenched his jaw tightly. The grip around the bracelet tightened as his body tensed up — yet he couldn't bring himself to walk away, not when the boy was beaming so brightly he looked like he was about to explode like a rocket ship.
"Oh shit, I'm so sorry! Introductions, introductions!" The boy rambled on, his face flushing a pink hue as he tucked a few strands behind his ear. "My name is Choi Chanhee, I'm a huge fan of your art works!"
"It's... nice to meet you," Beomgyu muttered under his breath, extremely uncomfortable with the situation happening at the moment — his inner panic soaring high when he mentioned his art. "Uhm... you are."
"Yeah!" Chanhee said excitedly, clasping his hands together. "I've recently got into your artwork, like a year ago? I don't know, but you've seriously got talent! I was so sad when you announced your hiatus—"
A cold bucket of water dropped down on him when Chanhee began to talk about his hiatus, his eyes widening slightly as he immediately started to sink deeper into the terrifying emotions he was feeling at the moment, the voices in his head growing louder by the second.
He felt his stomach start to twist, as if his own guts had started to rearrange themselves. He felt the air in his lungs suddenly give out, making him feel lightheaded and everything becoming dizzy.
He knew someone would recognize him, but he wasn't ready to be confronted about it.
The voices in his head began to ring louder, all of the possible thoughts and scenarios repeating in his mind. He's going to shame me. He's going to hate me. He's going to say i'm ungrateful for my works. He's going to hate me. I shouldn't have come here I—
"— but it was understandable! You probably needed a nice break, right?" Chanhee continued on, his voice breaking through his panic. "Though it's a bit sad, just know we're waiting for you! Especially me! I love your art, Beomgyu! It inspired me to start art on my own as well!"
Beomgyu froze, his eyes widening at the words that were slowly processing in his head, his eyebrows furrowing as his mouth was gaped open, unsure of what to say.
he didn't... expect this...
"Art... of your own...?" He managed to ask, his voice cracking slightly which made him flinch from how stupid he sounds.
"Yeah! Well, I don't know if you would call it art," Chanhee replied, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment as he smiled awkwardly. "The bracelets, most of them I made myself! It's a small little hobby, but I just like how I can turn nothing into something, you know?"
Beomgyu stayed silent, glancing down at the varieties of bracelets on display. For a moment, he couldn't help but feel some sort of deja vu, he remembers that feeling all too well. The excitement he would experience the moment he turned a blank white canvas into a beautiful imagery full of color and life.
"I understand," He mumbled, easing down just a little. "That's... uhm... nice."
"It is! I remember watching your showcase once, it was amazing! It really made me so happy..."
As Chanhee continued on talking, Beomgyu slowly started to space out, though it probably wasn't polite, he couldn't bring himself to keep on listening to him talking. It was heartwarming to say the least, to know that he helped inspire him somehow, but he just felt so uncomfortable and awkward at the moment, wanting to just run away.
But after a bit, he slowly looked over towards where Taehyun was standing, making eye contact with the ghost who seemed... oddly... tense?
The smile that was always on his face wasn't there, only a thin line as his face was blank, he could barely recognize what emotion was going through his head from how... emotionless he looked. It was strange, especially for him, he's never seen him like that before.
But before he could signal to him to ask if he was okay, Chanhee suddenly gasped loudly, causing him to look over again.
"Oh, the firework ceremony is going to start soon! I'm so sorry for taking up your time," He shyly said, smiling brightly as his face turned red, glancing down at the bracelet in his hand. "Do you want to purchase that? Would you like me to package it up for you or would you like to wear it?"
"Oh uhm, I think I'll wear it." Beomgyu replied, suddenly reminded of what he was here for in the first place. "How much does it cost?"
Chanhee smiled brightly as he told him the price of the bracelet which was surprisingly cheap, and as Beomgyu fetched his wallet and gave him the bill, he allowed Chanhee to wrap the bracelet around his wrist, securing it properly as he complimented how nice it looked against his skin.
But Beomgyu wasn't paying attention to him at all.
He was only focused on the pretty ghost beside him who was staring at Chanhee wrapping the bracelet around his wrist, his eyes filled with... longing and sadness as he watched the males fingers brush against his wrist, and for a moment, it looked like he was about to cry.
"There we go!" Chanhee said, taking a step back as he smiled brightly. "It looks great on you! Have an aamzing night, Beomgyu! I hope to see you back in the art world, soon."
Beomgyu smiled awkwardly and took a step back, nodding his head in acknowledgement as he twisted his wrist around to make sure that the bracelet was nice and secured, and once he confirmed that it was he began walking back towards Taehyun.
"Is everything okay?" He asked softly, his voice low as he tilted his head, signaling for him to follow. "You look... upset."
"H-Huh?" Taehyun stuttered, snapping back into reality as he quickly followed the elder, staying close by his side. "I-I'm fine! I was just waiting for you to finish your conversation with... him."
Beomgyu raised a brow, unsure whether he should believe him or not. The frown, the tensed body language, the sadness in his eyes — it all screamed the opposite of what he was saying, but what would make him upset?
He noticed that Taehyun was staring at his wrist once again, his lips pursed tightly which made him slowly bring his arm up. "It's a nice choice, I like it. Maybe we could've gotten matching ones."
Taehyun glanced up at him, sadness flickering on his face before he quickly masked it with a smile. "It's okay! It's nice seeing you wear something that I picked, it makes me feel... more alive."
The mention of the feeling of being alive once again made his throat close, slowly looking over towards the younger who was smiling brighter now the further they walked away from the stall, and Beomgyu could see it in Taehyun's eyes. The lingering emotions of longing, yearning, and hope, hope that something would come true.
It made his heart tighten at the sight.
With a deep breath, he shook his head and tried to calm down the butterflies in his stomach. "Alright, let's find a spot to watch the fireworks, somewhere secluded where it can only be the two of us."
"You don't want to watch the fireworks with everyone else?" Taehyun asked, a light tease in his tone.
Beomgyu snorted softly, shaking his head. "Why would I? I don't know any of these people," He paused, looking over at him with a tender gaze. "I'd rather watch it with you, alone. Because you're better than anyone else here."
Taehyun was thrown completely off guard, his steps faltering as if he had almost tripped on his own footing, awkwardly stumbling as he cleared his throat and straightened up. His face flushing as a shy smile began to grow on his lips, looking away from the elder.
"You're an idiot," He muttered, looking back at him after he recovered from the embarrassment. "I'd rather watch the fireworks alone with you too, being here with you makes it all better."
Beomgyu felt his heart beginning to race once again, these strange emotions just growing stronger and stronger the more he stayed by the younger's side. There was just something about him that brought out a part of him he never recognized, pulling it out from deep inside of him, it made him feel vulnerable.
Invisible strings wrapped around his heart and tugged at it like some sort of tug-of-war game, it was overwhelming, but he couldn't help but want to fall deeper into it.
All he wants to do was wrap his hand around the younger's wrist and guide him, keep him close, he wants to feel the warmth of his body against his own.
But he knew he couldn't.
So with a weak smile, he breathed out softly, and walked a little closer next to Taehyun, staring at him with a soft gaze, unable to look away.
"Come on," He spoke up calmly after a moment. "Let's go find a spot and complete that regret of yours."
The smile on Taehyun's face faltered for a moment, but like always, the ghost had quickly composed himself as he nodded and followed the elder who lead them farther away from where the main spot was.
The fireworks were to be set off across the lake, so he wanted to find an area where they both could see them well but not be surrounded by other people, because in all honesty, he hated large crowds during special events like these.
"Hyung, why don't we go over there?"
Beomgyu looked up and over towards Taehyun who was pointing at an open grass area close by the lake, far from the festival grounds but close enough to see majority of the fireworks. After thinking about it for a few seconds, he nodded his head and the both of them made their way over towards the spot.
"It's far away from the main grounds," Taehyun said as they walked over towards the area, already scanning for a perfect sitting spot. "Not much people will come over here, maybe a little bit? But it's still a good spot! These fireworks are going to look so beautiful!"
Beomgyu slowly looked over towards him, his heart tightening when he saw that pretty smile displayed so wide on the younger's face that his dimple was showing,his eyes scrunched up into tiny little crescents that remind him of the moon.
"Yeah," He breathed out softly, his voice so soft he could barely hear himself, unable to take his eyes off of his figure. "..beautiful."
After realizing what he had said, Beomgyu mentally slapped himself, his stomach twisting so much with those strange butterflies he was unable to think clearly. With a deep breath, he focused on walking over to a spot in the grass field, looking around for a moment before he settled on a spot that was close to the water.
"The ceremony should start soon," Beomgyu said as he slowly sat down on the grass, glancing up at the sky that was fading into a darker shade of blue. "Are you excited? You're finally fulfilling your second regret."
Taehyun hummed softly, sitting down close to Beomgyu as he crossed his legs, his smile faltering slightly. "I..." He hesitated, which threw him off guard. "I... I am, yeah, I'm so happy to be here with you to see the summer fireworks!"
Beomgyu smiled warmly, there would be a few more minutes until the ceremony starts, and he certainly doesn't want to sit in silence — so the best option he had was to make a random conversation to fill the space, but not that he doesn't mind, he could spend hours listening to Taehyun talk.
"So..." He spoke up, thinking about what he should say. "We just have... one more regret after this, and to solve your cause of death. But you'll be going to the afterlife soon, are you... ready...?"
Asking that question made him feel so bitter, he felt selfish, he didn't want Taehyun to leave but he knew he had no other choice.
He deserves happiness, and his happiness is being in the afterlife.
"I'm..." Taehyun paused, as if he were thinking about the question closely before he shakily smiled. "...of course! I...It's all I ever wanted! I'm grateful you're doing this for me, I just don't know if I deserve such... amazing treatment." He admitted shyly.
"Of course, you deserve it," Beomgyu replied, his chest tightening hearing the younger's words, so he shook his head and sighed. "Your life was cut short unfairly. So... the best I can do is to make sure you pass on to the afterlife, even if we had a rough start, you deserve nothing but a happy ending. You deserve this, you deserve all of this, because you're just so amazing to me, Tyun."
Taehyun's eyes widened as his jaw slacked hearing that, his breath shaky as he slowly covered his mouth, most likely in shock at the heartwarming words he was hearing, and for once... Beomgyu didn't feel embarrassed or shy saying them, he felt content and happy, as if saying those words were slowly healing him, proving something that he hadn't even thought about before.
"It's probably embarrassing," Beomgyu continued on, rubbing the back of his neck as his ears began to turn a bright shade of red. "...but, if I'm honest, I like doing all of this stuff when I'm with you. I feel less... anxious when I'm with you, and that makes me happy."
The expression that flashed over Taehyun's face was a mixture of sadness, shock, and another that he couldn't recognize. The younger pursed his lips tightly as his bottom lip began to tremble, his eyes beginning to water up as if he had been deeply moved by Beomgyu's words — which was making him shy since he was... staring at him so fondly.
For a moment, he didn't say anything. There was only silence between them, only the soft sounds of Taehyun's shaky breathing echoing out in the air as the ghost tried to compose himself, his eyes distant as if he was lost in thought, that was until he had finally spoke up.
"Beomgyu..." Taehyun spoke up, his voice so soft and... filled with... hesitation and fear...? "I...I'm... do you... do you remember when you asked me if I was scared of.. moving on?"
The elder furrowed his eyebrows, glancing at him with a confused expression as he tilted his head, searching through his memory until it finally clicked. "I do remember, I asked if you were scared of moving onto the afterlife. Why?"
Taehyun opened his mouth to reply, but only silence came out, as if he was terrified of what he was about to say. He quickly closed it as his jaw tightened, his hands trembling as his eyes began to water more, causing Beomgyu to become extremely worried.
"Taehyun...?" He called out softly, leaning forward so he could see him better since the sun was setting rapidly. "Is everything okay?"
No reply.
He was honestly considering asking him if he wanted to take a moment and be alone so he could focus on his emotions, but he suddenly turned his head — staring straight into his eyes with tears nearly about to fall.
The sight made his heart break.
"I..." Taehyun finally spoke up, his voice shaky with heaviness. "Beomgyu hyung, I am sc—"
BOOM!
Just before Taehyun could finish his sentence, a sudden high pitch sound began to echo throughout the air before a loud explosion followed after, their eyes widening as their faces began to illuminate a flash of pink, causing them to snap their heads towards the sky.
Beomgyu's breath hitched when he saw the sky, once dark and empty, began to be painted with a symphony of fireworks. Each set coming in one after another, painting it with a kaleidoscope of colors and shapes, bursting beautifully each time as it filled the night sky with glittery hues, bright colors twinkling like stars before fading away, allowing the next set of fireworks to fly.
"Oh my gosh..." He heard Taehyun whisper under his breath, his tone quiet and shaky before he instantly stood up, a wide amazed smile growing on his face. "Oh my gosh!"
Taehyun's tone had shifted drastically, his once hesitant and saddened tone changed to one filled with delight, awe, and excitement, like a child receiving a christmas gift for the first time. The ghosts face was star struck, his eyes widened in pure admiration as they not only held the reflection of the fireworks above, but a pool of stars sparkling within them.
While Taehyun admired the fireworks above, squealing softly about how beautiful they were, Beomgyu slowly looked over towards him, tilting his head up to get a better view of the younger's face.
The moment his eyes landed on Taehyun's figure, both his breathing and heart stopped.
In the sea of soft colors, different hues flashing and fading here and there, his heart began to race from how beautiful Taehyun looked underneath it all. His eyes softening as each and every color, a soft purple to a bright yellow, each color kissed the males face perfectly, making him look so ethereal and... alive.
It made his heart feel so alive.
Taehyun soon turned to look down at him, the two of them making eye contact before he smiled even wider, pure and beautiful as the colors painted onto him beautifully.
In that moment, those strange emotions that he felt all throughout his time with Taehyun, those emotions that grew stronger day by day whenever he was with him, the emotions that left him confused and dazed for hours finally began to break free from the dam that they were shut behind. Slowly cracking through before it unleashed hell on him, crashing down like an overwhelming storm as his heart finally began to tighten.
There's a reason why he felt so content being around Taehyun, why painting came easy whenever the younger would explain his dreams, why his anxiety and worries would ease down faster when he was around. There was a reason why he wanted him to stay, there was a reason he was doing all of this for him.
Taehyun had seen a part of him that he had never seen before, he had cared for him in a way he hadn't been cared for before.
He didn't shame him for anything, he was patient with him, he was encouraging.
There was a reason why his thoughts always became only him, only focused on him. His sweet smile, those pretty eyes, his melodic voice.
oh god.
Beomgyu's eyes began to widen as his heart slowly pieced together what he was feeling towards Taehyun, staring at the younger in disbelief when he began to feel overwhelmed from how beautiful he was underneath the fireworks.
oh god. oh god. oh god.
He's falling in love with Taehyun.
no... no wait.
He is in love with Taehyun.
The realization of his newfound feelings crashed down on him hard, causing him to slowly panic as the entire world began to feel like it was moving in slow motion. Yet, his mind was racing with so many thoughts at the speed of light.
He fell in love with Taehyun. Oh god, he fell in love with Taehyun.
Beomgyu didn't know whether he should be terrified or happy, happy that the weird feelings he felt for so long around the younger finally came to light, but terrified because he... he fell for Taehyun.
It felt like something was possessing him at that moment, like something was taking over his mind and heart — it felt so weird, it felt so fucking weird, and he's panicking because he's never felt this way towards someone so fast, he's never felt so.. so comfortable yet terrified.
The realization of him falling in love was taking over his head, messing with his senses, only paying attention to Taehyun who looked so fucking beautiful he wanted to cry.
He fell in love with Taehyun and... it... it doesn't feel so bad at all...?
There was something... comforting about him being in love with Taehyun, that.. that it felt right. Even though his feelings were terrifying, so sudden and new, it felt good. It felt good being in love with Taehyun.
But...
When he glanced up at Taehyun one more time, that euphoric sensation shattered in an instant when he slowly noticed how translucent the younger was. That he could vividly see the fireworks past him, which was a cruel slap in the face, a reminder that... that Taehyun wasn't a human.
He was a ghost, someone who was already dead.
And Beomgyu fell for him.
The smile on Beomgyu's face faltered near instantly when reality began to set in. He fell in love with a ghost, someone who isn't even alive anymore, he fell in love with the person who he's been helping so they could leave to the afterlife.
He fell for someone he couldn't have.
No. No no no no. He slowly began to panic. I fell for him? I fell for him. I fucking fell for someone who's leaving soon- fuck fuck fuck!
Beomgyu's breathing began to become heavy as reality was weighing down on him, making everything feel so suffocating. He can't have Taehyun, he can't have him and he knew this. He knew this yet he still...
"Beomgyu?"
He heard Taehyun call out for him, his voice curious and worried, had he been spacing out? How long has he been spacing out for? He doesn't know. His mind was a mess, his heart was a wreck. The devastating truth of this cruel reality was hitting him hard.
He had fallen in love with Taehyun, he had become addicted to the feeling of finally having something — or someone — be there for him, to see him for him, but it had to be someone who he couldn't have.
"Beomgyu?" Taehyun called out again, his voice louder than the fireworks in the sky. "Is everything okay?"
Beomgyu looked up at him one more time, the truth of his newfound feelings lingered on the tip of his tongue, his selfish desire to tell the younger his feelings made him feel so bitter — but he knew better than that. He knew better than to keep him here, Taehyun wanted to leave and... he had to accept that.
So with a weak smile, he nodded his head as he slowly stood up, facing the ghost with a softened expression, his heart aching from how beautiful Taehyun was underneath the sea of lights.
"I'm fine." He replied, lying straight through his teeth.
Taehyun stared at him, staying silent as a small frown grew on his lips, as if he didn't believe the elders words at all. But after a moment, he just nodded his head and turned his head towards the sky once more to pay attention to the fireworks.
The moment he turned his back, Beomgyu's smile instantly fell as that same dread took over him again. He felt so selfish, a part of him wanted to keep Taehyun around, he had become addicted to the sensation of him somehow making his spark and inspiration come back, the addicting sensation of being in love, being happy for someone.
But he knew it wasn't right... he knew he shouldn't stop him from leaving because of his own selfish desires.
So for now, he's going to love Taehyun in silence.
No matter how much it hurt his heart.
The fireworks went on for another thirty minutes or so, and during that time, the air felt more lighter once again. It felt as if something heavy had finally been lifted, as if they could breathe once again. Just like how he felt during the Jeju Island moment with Taehyun, he knew that's when the younger's regret was finally completed.
Two regrets down, one more to go.
His stomach twisted in pain at the thought of letting go of Taehyun soon, but... it wouldn't be too soon... right? He still had time, they still had time.
After a bit, the final firework bursted in the night sky — finishing off the grand ceremony, sparkling brightly before it faded away, leaving the world dark once again. For a moment, there was silence until loud applause began to ring out of people celebrating how wonderful the summer festival was.
Taehyun smiled brightly, immediately turning towards Beomgyu, his eyes shining from how happy he was. "Thank you, hyung."
Beomgyu felt his bottom lip trembling, his hands shaking as the urge to just hold Taehyun in his arms coursed through him. But he knew he couldn't, he knew that he wouldn't be able to.
So with a small, saddened smile, he nodded his head. "Anything for you Taehyun."
The two of them stood there silently, staring at each other as the smoke in the sky slowly began to clear up, allowing the faint white hues of the moons light to finally shine through, its ray of light shining beautifully on Taehyun.
Beomgyu knew it wasn't right, he knew he shouldn't be selfish, but for right now... he had him by his side, he had him for now. And that's okay.
"Come on," He said softly, tilting his head to the side. "Let's get to the car so we can beat traffic."
Taehyun smiled brightly and nodded his head, the two of them making their way into the main area so they could head back to the parking lot. It was a bit of a struggle since large groups of people were already walking away or stopping every five seconds to take pictures, making the way back difficult.
I fell in love with him. Beomgyu thought, lost in space as he mindlessly allowed his body to guide him. I fell in love with him, a ghost.
I love him, I want him by my side all of the time, but I know I can't have him. I can't.
But is it worth it...? Should I... do something? Say something? What if I ruin it all, what if he views me as selfish or... disgusting, for falling in love with him?
I barely know him, yet my heart feels like it knows him, that it recognizes him. That he's someone i've known for years.
It hurts... I can't have—
"Ouch!"
Pain began to bloom all throughout Beomgyu's shoulders right away, causing him to snap out of his thoughts as he immediately stumbled backwards, hissing loudly as he held onto shoulder, slowly realizing that he had accidentally bumped into someone.
"Oh shit," He breathed out, looking up to see a blonde girl holding onto her shoulder awkwardly. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"
The girl looked up at him, her expression in pain just for a moment before she smiled brightly, nodding her head. "It's okay! I'm fine, are you alright? I'm so sorry, I didn't see you!"
"Yeah, yeah," Beomgyu replied instantly, keeping his tone calm although he was about to panic, glancing over to the other girl with black hair who was worriedly staring at the blonde one. "It's my fault though, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay! Don't worry!"
Just before Beomgyu was going to offer money or something as an apology (since he'll never let himself live this down if he just walked away) he suddenly glanced at Taehyun who stared at the girl with wide eyes, frozen in place as he looked more pale than usual.
"Tyun?" Beomgyu whispered softly when the other two girls were distracted, keeping his voice light. "Is everything okay?"
Taehyun blinked a couple of times before slowly looking over towards Beomgyu, his eyebrows furrowing as if he were deep in thought, hesitating before he shook his head. "Ask what her name is."
"Wh-What?"
"Ask her!"
"Okay, okay!" Beomgyu flinched when Taehyun raised his tone, turning his attention back towards the girl has he cleared his throat, awkwardly gaining their attention again. "I'm sorry... uhm... if you don't mind me asking, what's your name?"
The girl tilted her head for a moment, a confused expression flashing on her face before she smiled kindly. "I don't mind! I'm Huening Bahiyyih, this is my sister Huening Lea!"
Beomgyu nodded his head, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm Choi Beomgyu," He replied, finding it rude if he didn't give his name. "Uhm... I can give you money as an apology for running into you...?"
"No, no! Please don't!" Bahiyyih said, shaking her head as she shyly waved a hand. "It's totally fine, it's busy here anyway!—"
"Hiyyih, we have to go! He's waiting for us."
"Ah!" Bahiyyih looked over towards her sister, smiling awkwardly before back at Beomgyu. "It was nice meeting you, Beomgyu! I hope you have a good night!"
"Oh uh.... you too."
Beomgyu stood there dumbfounded by that... weird interaction, watching as Bahiyyih and Lea both walked away, excitedly talking about the fireworks as they walked into the crowd, causing him to lose sight of them.
What the hell...? He thought, tilting his head. Why did he want me to get her name?
Beomgyu looked back over towards Taehyun who was frozen, his expression terrified which threw him off guard, it was like Taehyun himself had seen a ghost or something, making him take a hesitant step forward.
"Tyun... Is everything alright??"
Taehyun muttered something under his breath, slowly looking over towards the elder with tears in his eyes, but whatever he had said was so quiet that Beomgyu could barely hear him, making him tilt his head.
"I...I didn't hear you, what?"
"Huening Kai."
Huening Kai...? He repeated the name in his head, unfamiliar with what he was trying to refer to. The last name was the same as Bahiyyih and Lea's, could he be... another sibling...? "What do you mean Huening Kai?"
"Huening Kai..." Taehyun's voice broke, his expression becoming more vulnerable and sad. "That... I remember... he was... my best friend."
Beomgyu's eyes widened hearing that, his stomach twisting when he realized what he meant.
Huening Kai.
Taehyun's best friend.
The third regret.
His breath hitched when he realized that... that whoever this Huening Kai person was close to Taehyun, that he was the best friend that the younger wanted to apologize to, that he was the key to possibly discovering the truth behind Taehyun's death. That he was the key to... him... leaving.
A bitter feeling began to twist in his stomach, his throat closing up as selfish desires began to flash through his head. This was too soon, he thought they would have more time together, but this... this is too much.
But with a deep breath, he glanced over at him one more time. "We'll find him," He forced himself to say. "We'll complete that third regret of yours, trust me."
Taehyun stared at him, his expression unreadable as a frown grew on his lips, but after a second he looked away and nodded his head, which was strange... usually he would be more excited to discover a regret. But maybe he was just overwhelmed because he remembered something important.
Yeah, that could be it.
Beomgyu gave him another glance before he tilted his head, the two of them walking back to the car as the heavy weight of the new discover hung over them.
He didn't want to, he knew that he shouldn't think this.
...but he couldn't help but want to... stall this regret.
he was selfish, he wanted to keep Taehyun by his side for a little while more.
But he knew he couldn't do that to him.
Because he loves him so much, he knew he had to help him leave soon.
tap. tap. tap.
Beomgyu nervously tapped his paint brush against the blank canvas in front of him, his leg bouncing as he awkwardly shifted on the stool, trying to bring himself to paint.
It had been a couple hours since they returned home from the festival, and Taehyun was somewhere around the house doing whatever ghosts do in their free time, especially now that the house was fixed and less dangerous, yet here he was locking himself away in his art room, trying to milk out a new idea.
Lately, his... motivation to paint had been wavering on a thin line, it didn't feel as awful as before, he was able to sit there for a long time without panicking or feeling sick about himself, but that would be when Taehyun was by his side.
The last painting, the one of the constellations in the night sky at Jeju Island, was hung up on the wall next to the white lily field canvas. Every now and then, he would look up and just admire it, Taehyun's pretty voice replaying in his head from the night he had passionately explained it.
But now... here he was, staring blankly at the taunting blank canvas in front of him — a part of him wanting to paint something onto it.
Usually, his thoughts would be filled with negative thoughts, the voices of the public ringing out, making him unable to paint. But now, it was different. Instead of the public occupying his mind, it was Taehyun now.
It was all circled around Taehyun. His newfound feelings, the aching bitterness of him leaving, the discomfort of finding out his best friend's name.
It was messing with his head.
Huening Kai. Huening Kai. He repeated the name over and over in his head. Taehyun's best friend, someone who was a part of his life when he was alive... could he know... the reason of his death...? How do I even find him...? Do I even want to find him?
Beomgyu winced when that last question came into mind, making him straighten up as he mentally slapped himself for even thinking that. Here he goes again, being entirely selfish because of his own desires.
I can't keep him away. He groaned softly, settling the paint brush and pallet down, burying his hands into his face. He wants to leave, he wants to move on. He's suffering on this earth, Gyu. Come on!
Ever since Taehyun came into his life, his entire world has been flipped upside down. At first, he was on the edge, unsure of what he should do or if he should even trust him.
But after he had somehow got a taste of inspiration once again, he became addicted, he wanted to keep him around for both the feeling of euphoria he gave him and for him, himself.
Beomgyu felt his eye starting to twitch, irritation washing over him as he slowly straightened up and loosely laid his hands across his lap. His breathing became shaky as he tried to calm the storming pit swirling inside his stomach.
He knew what was right, what was wrong. Yet his mind was screaming at him to... hold back on trying to find where Huening Kai was located. That he should... take a few days to just stall so he could keep Taehyun around for a little longer more.
He became addicted to him, that he was a source of inspiration for him, that the ghost had somehow managed to ignite that dying spark once again in such a short period of time, it scared him. He became dependent on how happy and less alone he made him feel, that during his time of escape from the world — that damn ghost managed to find a way into his heart.
I can't do this. He thought, running a hand through his hair as the tried to blink back the frustrated tears. I can't. be. selfish. I can't make him stay here, I can't.
He ran his fingers through his hair once again, tugging at the strands as he tried his best to snap back into reality. The desperation that he had was bittersweet, he knew it wasn't right, none of it was right.
He just had to fall in love with someone he couldn't have.
Beomgyu took a deep breath, relaxing his body the best he could as he tried to divert his thoughts somewhere else, he knew the more he sunk low into these feelings, then the more anxious he'll become.
So with a soft sigh, he glanced back at the blank canvas, his mind slowly moving towards a memory from earlier today, the sight of how beautiful Taehyun was under all of the fireworks.
The dark blue sky filled with an array of colors, bursting into glittery dust, him and Taehyun underneath it all — the new sensation of discovering his feelings and how his heart felt so comfortable being around the ghost, how everything felt so... so right.
A small little flame ignited in his stomach once again, slowly growing brighter as the minutes pass by, his hands twitching as he instantly picked the palette and paint brush back up, his breath shaky as he began mixing colors once again.
Unlike the last two times where he had to have Taehyun voice out his dreams and visions to him, the only way he could get himself to paint — he found himself slowly falling deep into old emotions, his eyes widening as he slowly began to paint the dark sky from a few hours ago.
Taehyun. Fireworks. Love.
Those three words repeated in his head as if they were guiding him on recreating the image of them at the summer festival, the memory of sitting by the lake, watching fireworks bloom all across the sky, watching it with Taehyun, he had never felt so... so motivated to bring that moment back to life on this very canvas.
He began to paint the sky, a deep blue mixed with purple using broad strokes, he then switched colors and started adding tiny little dots of white for the stars, though he couldn't necessarily see them with all the smoke in the sky, it was still a nice touch.
For a moment, he paused, his mind recollecting everything before he got started on the lake, using lighter shades of blues and other colors to blend it in properly, adding in some colorful streaks to give off the reflection of the fireworks above.
Beomgyu suddenly leaned back, dipping his paint brush in the water cup next to him to get the paint off — he suddenly had the urge to just give up and abandon what he was painting, but the image of Taehyun smiling so brightly under the sea of colors made his heart tighten.
He wanted to keep that memory, not just in his heart, but in his art as well.
Beomgyu breathed out softly, forcing himself to push past the suffocating thoughts as he dipped his brush into bright colors similar to the ones he saw earlier, painting bursts of light spreading wide. He made sure to make each one different: big and bold, small and fading. He then added thin, glowing trails to show the way sparks fell.
He felt himself getting lost in the beautiful image, finishing up small details here and there on the fireworks as his heart tightened at the memory. Finally, he began to paint two figures sitting in the grass near the body, their backs facing him, leaning toward each other slightly.
Representing him and Taehyun.
Though Taehyun was standing majority of the time watching the fireworks, he couldn't help admire the two figures representing them. It made a part of him feel... reassured, as if just a single painting made him feel warmth, as if he could touch Taehyun himself.
but he knew that was just a dream.
Soon enough, the painting had finally pieced together, allowing him to lean back to get a proper look at the canvas in front of him — wiping a hand across his cheek, unknowingly smudging light blue paint over his cheek as he admired the firework painting he made.
And... and for once... after a long time...
It felt so good to paint again.
A small smile began to grow on Beomgyu's face as a faint sensation of happiness washed over him, though it was faint, it felt like the same sensation he felt when he had painted for the first time. The voices that brought him down weren't as loud anymore.
His eyes traced every colors, every small detail, every star before slowly moving towards the two figure sat on the bottom, heart racing as butterflies erupted when his eyes lingered on Taehyun's painted figure.
This was it, a memory... a painting that he was proud of, that he had made by himself.
Beomgyu began to smile a little, that inspiration slowly coming back to him — painting doesn't seem as bad as it was before, though it was still difficult, this... felt nice.
It wasn't until a certain thought crossed his mind, making his smile falter as he stared at the painting.
right, huening kai.
He had to find Huening Kai somehow.
Beomgyu's jaw clenched tightly, that rush of adrenaline instantly crashing down and fading away as he leaned back, running a frustrated hand over his face as he closed his eyes.
I can't be selfish. This is for Taehyun. I can paint... I painted, this is... i'm healing.
I can't depend on him.
I need to accept that I have to let him go.
Beomgyu took a second, that thought turning bitter as he forced himself to stand up, walking over to the wooden table as he stared at the vase filled with now five white lilies, his heart tightening at the sight. His hand unconsciously rubbing against the small flower charm bracelet on his wrist.
With a deep breath, he slid his phone out of his pocket and turned it on, scrolling through his contacts before his eyes landed on a specific name who he knew could help him — but then, his thumb paused, hovering over the call button, hesitant.
What if... I... just wait a few days? His grip around the phone tightened, his breathing shaky. It wouldn't hurt to just... wait a few days right? I... we... still have time, he's happy right now, so it's okay... right?
But what if he's just pretending.
He said he wants to go to the afterlife.
He has nothing to live for here anymore.
But I want him to stay. I want him to be here with me.
I just want him.
Beomgyu's throat began to close up, his selfish desires blinding him as he thought about all the possible scenarios. He can't... force Taehyun to stay, but he's become part of his every day life it just felt right.
But... Taehyun deserves closure, a happy ending.
and he knew he couldn't make him stay, no matter how much he wanted to.
So with a shaky breath, he quickly wiped his eyes, pressing the call button as it began to ring out for a few seconds before the other line finally picked up.
"Hello? What's up, Gyu?"
"Yeonjun hyung," Beomgyu spoke softly, his voice cracking just a little as he tried to hold back his emotions. "I have a question, and a small favor."
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
YJ : hey gyu! Here's huening kai's address, I gave him a heads up that you're visiting him soon! don't steal him from me ! [address]
Three days.
It has been three days since he had left Yeonjun's message on read.
He swore he wouldn't do this, he had made himself swear that he wouldn't be selfish.
Yet here he was, hiding the fact that he had managed to get Huening Kai's address from the elder from Taehyun for three. whole. days.
When Beomgyu had called Yeonjun out of all people, he knew that the elder might've had friends connecting to Huening Kai since the elder was popular like that, but what he didn't expect was that he would get his answer right away. The summer festival that Yeonjun went to, he went with Huening Kai.
Beomgyu had felt his heart drop the moment Yeonjun relayed the news to him, the elder was beyond happy and shy about his blooming relationship with Huening Kai, but he... he felt so shocked, so bitter.
There was no way that this entire time, they were just one person away from reaching Taehyun's third regret, from reaching out to his best friend.
He knew it was bound to happen, but this was too soon.
He had just realized his feelings for Taehyun, and now he was going to be gone soon.
When Yeonjun had asked him why he was asking about Huening Kai, Beomgyu had stayed silent for a moment before he said some wack excuse, which Yeonjun had surprisingly believed, reassuring him that he'll talk to Huening Kai and arrange a day for the both of them to talk.
That had left a deep pain in his gut, as if he had been stabbed.
Beomgyu knew he should've told Taehyun, he knows that he should've told him the moment he had gotten off the phone with Yeonjun, that they're so close to completing his regret soon — that he would go to the afterlife soon.
But... but he couldn't bring himself to.
When Taehyun had entered the room right after, completely oblivious to his new discovery, Beomgyu had felt like a sailor cursed at sea by a sirens loves spell when he saw that sweet smile on the ghosts face.
He just wants to cherish him a little longer.
But the whole entire ordeal left him suffocating in guilt, he knew it was a selfish idea, a horrible idea that he hasn't communicated with Taehyun at all about this, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything.
Every time he saw that sweet smile, listened to that sweet voice, stare into those starry eyes — the urge to keep him longer just grew and it terrified him.
Taehyun wasn't an object to keep for his selfish desires, he was a soul who deserved to leave.
But he couldn't bring himself to do it.
His heart was aching, his mind was cloudy, and his emotions were in a turmoil. Keeping this away from Taehyun who had fully trusted him with his regrets and wishes made him feel so sick to his stomach.
He was an asshole.
But he didn't want to let go, not yet.
"The fireworks painting is so beautiful, Gyu!" Taehyun's voice had snapped him out of his suffocating daze, making him look over at the ghost who was admiring the newly painted canvas. "I miss the fireworks, but i'm so grateful I got to see them! You captured them perfectly! Are you sure you don't want to sell these paintings?"
Beomgyu's jaw tightened, his eyes softening but his heart was a mess. Every time he talked to Taehyun, he would feel nothing but guilt because he was hiding his new discovery from him, it made him want to choke up and cry, he doesn't deserve this.
He doesn't deserve Taehyun.
"I really don't plan on selling any of these paintings, Tyun." Beomgyu replied, trying his best to keep his voice calm, but it was becoming more difficult to hide his guilt.
Taehyun glanced over at him and gave him a teasing smile, shaking his head as he walked over towards him and sat down on the wooden table. "I know, but I'm serious when I say that it would sell for hundreds!"
Beomgyu just rubbed the back of his neck nervously, slowly looking away, unable to maintain eye contact with the younger. His palms began to feel clammy and his heart was aching to tell Taehyun the truth, but he's terrified on the reaction he'll receive.
He's kept this a secret from him for three whole days and lied about not knowing anything about Huening Kai, there's no way he would take that lightly.
He had promised to make Taehyun happy, and here he was, holding him back.
Oh, he's such an asshole.
Beomgyu let out a shaky breath, his suffocating thoughts becoming louder by the second, drowning out Taehyun's sweet voice who was going off about how the white lilies look healthier these days, his heart ache was too much to endure anymore.
he had to tell him.
if not now, then he's never going to.
Taehyun had suffered long enough being on this earth, hopelessly wandering with no hope on going to the afterlife, but now here he was — trusting Beomgyu with his entire dreams and he...
"Taehyun," Beomgyu spoke up softly, his voice cracking as he slowly looked over. "I need to ask you something."
"Huh?" Taehyun sputtered, pausing after he was cut off mid-rant, but it seemed like he didn't mind it at all. "Oh, yeah! What's up Gyu?"
Beomgyu's chest began to tighten from how quick the younger was to hear him out, his throat tightening as the words "i found huening kai" lingered on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to say it — as if chains were wrapped around his neck.
"I...I... do you... you ever wonder about your... partner?" Beomgyu asked instead, mentally punching himself for diverting the conversation into something totally irrelevant.
"My partner?" Taehyun repeated, tilting his head adorably. "I mean, sometimes I do... but It's been four years and I'm unsure of who they are, I just hope that they've moved on from me happily! It doesn't hurt that much, I'm just glad I was loved."
A wave of sadness began to rise within him, his hands trembling as he listened to every single word. Taehyun was so grateful, so happy, he wasn't bitter or sad about how his life was cut short — how he had been separated from his loved ones too soon.
He had accepted all of this a long time ago.
But he couldn't help but feel jealous, he wishes he could've met Taehyun four years ago. He wishes he knew him sooner, maybe things would have been different than they were now.
Maybe then, he could hold him for once.
Beomgyu couldn't bear these thoughts anymore, without even thinking, he pushed himself off of the wooden table and walked straight out of the room — leaving behind Taehyun who was taken aback by the sudden motion before he quickly chased after him.
"Is everything alright, Gyu?" Taehyun asked worriedly, floating beside him as Beomgyu descended down the stairs. "I...I know I shouldn't assume, but you've looked more tensed lately, did something happen?"
My selfishness happened. He thought, swallowing the heavy lump in his throat, he wanted to just sob from how frustrated he was with his emotions. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine, I just need water."
The expression that flashed on the ghosts face was one filled with doubt, but he didn't say anything as he followed Beomgyu to the kitchen, watching the elder grab a glass from the cabinet and quickly turn on the faucet, his hands trembling as he filled it up.
They stayed silent, only the sound of water dripping echoed out in the kitchen, it was clear there was a heavy tension that started to slowly slip through the air. But Taehyun, being Taehyun, the sweetheart he is, decided to say something to ease it down.
"I think I finally know what I want to say to Huening Kai when we meet him," He said softly, sitting on the counter. "Have you managed to find any information about him yet?"
Beomgyu froze, his cup hovering just a few centimeters away from his lip as a bucket of cold water washed down on him instantly. The words processed in his head, the question lingered in the air, and the guilt that he had been trying to avoid had increased by a tenfold.
Have you managed to find any information about him yet?
The question repeated in his head over and over again, making his stomach twist up — his guts rearranging themselves as he suddenly began to feel nauseous. The question, so pure and innocent, had stabbed him straight in the heart like a knife twisting aggressively.
His mouth ran dry, his grip around the glass loosened, nearly causing him to drop it as he slowly looked over towards Taehyun who was staring at him with a curious warm gaze.
A gaze filled with warmth and tenderness, that he didn't deserve.
He's been waiting, he's been waiting for closure, he's been waiting for me. He trusted me. The guilt began to suffocate him even more, a frown growing on his face. He trusted me, yet here I am hiding important information from him, oh god. he's going to hate me. You're so stupid, selfish with your feelings!
Beomgyu knew it was wrong, he shouldn't have done this, no matter how happy Taehyun made him or how he had the skills to somehow make his inspiration come back — he knew this wasn't right.
"T-Taehyun," He spoke softly, his voice weak and shaky, earning a curious gaze. He had tell him the truth, he had to tell him, but yet... "I...I haven't found anything about Huening Kai, I'm sorry."
he lied.
he lied to taehyun.
The lie slipped out so easily, so smoothly, and it made him fucking sick when he realized what he had done, what he had just said.
Beomgyu's eyes widened in horror when the lie crashed down upon him, what the hell was wrong with him?! He's supposed to tell him the truth, not lie! Why is his mind betraying his heart? No, no, no, he has to fix this.
"Really?" Taehyun replied, his voice tinged with a bit of disappointment, but he still smiled regardless. "That's okay, it might be difficult tracking down one person, so I understand."
No, no, no. He doesn't deserve this kindness. He doesn't deserve his care. He has to tell him the truth.
"W-Wait," Beomgyu breathed out, his voice shaky as he placed down the cup. "Taehyun, I-I actually—"
knock! knock!
Before he could finish his sentence and finally tell the ghost the truth, a loud series of knocks had echoed out through the air, causing the both of them to freeze as their heads turned towards the front door where the sound had come from, momentarily confusing them.
"Are you expecting anyone?" Taehyun asked, tilting his head curiously.
Beomgyu stared at the door, his mouth running dry as irritation slowly washed over him, slowly looking back at Taehyun. He was this close to telling him the truth, who the hell decided to come visit him out of no where, without a heads up too?
"I... don't know."
"Do you want me to disappear for a bit?" Taehyun replied, smiling warmly which made him feel sick to his stomach. He really doesn't deserve that smile.
He took a moment to think about it, lately they haven't had any visitors so there was no reason for Taehyun to disappear, plus he's a ghost — literally invisible to others but him. Whoever was visiting at the moment won't see him at all, so it was no big deal, and he's gotten used to the ghosts presence so he won't be as bothered lately.
"No," He said, his voice a little weak. "You can just... stay here, I'm sure it won't take long!"
"Okay!" Taehyun beamed brightly before he gasped softly. "Oh, hyung! Was there something you wanted to tell me? You got cut off before you did."
There it was, a reminder of the harsh lie he had told Taehyun, a reminder of the secret he's been keeping to himself. This was something that was meant to be private between them, something that should be discussed when they aren't on a time limit, yet he couldn't help but feel so angry... so guilty, he should've told him sooner.
"Uhm... I'll tell you after."
"Alright!"
Beomgyu gave him one last glance before heading towards the front door where another series of knocks occurred, making him take a deep breath as he undid the locks and slowly opened the door to see someone unexpected.
"Yeonjun...?" He said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Beomgyu!" Yeonjun beamed brightly, his eyes lighting up at the sight of his friend. "Hey! Can I come in? I have some baked goods from your brother!"
Beomgyu furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, glancing down at the familiar packaged box that the elder was holding in his hands. He was honestly debating whether he should just shut the door on Yeonjun's face or not, but with a small sigh, he opened the door wider and allowed for him to walk inside.
"The house looks better," Yeonjun commented as he walked in, taking in the sight of the fixed interior. No more broken windows, no more creaky floors, no more cracked walls. "It actually looks livable now!"
"It was already livable beforehand," Beomgyu grumbled, already irritated with the elders presence and it's only been five seconds. "Are you just dropping it off? When will you leave?"
"Hey, don't be mean now, I haven't seen you in like days! I just want to check up on my favorite best friend!" Yeonjun said, his tone a light tease as he walked over towards the living room and gently placed the box down. "Your brother wanted me to make sure you were still alive or something."
"It's been like a week since I've seen him."
"Well, you know how Soobin is."
Beomgyu just sighed tiredly, rolling his eyes as he glanced over back towards the kitchen area where he saw Taehyun peeking out from behind the wall, his eyes wide and curious watching the both of them — the sight made his heart race from how pretty and adorable he looked.
"By the way, when will you visit Huening Kai?"
Beomgyu suddenly froze, his eyes widening when that sentence came out of Yeonjun's mouth, his heart dropping down to his stomach as the question began to linger in the air.
He had said it loud enough for Taehyun to hear.
"W-What...?" He mumbled, his voice shaky as cold sweat began to cling to his skin, his stomach twisting in guilt and fear. "I-I-"
"You know, since you asked me three days ago," Yeonjun continued on, unaware of how terrified Beomgyu was, he was just smiling as he unboxed the baked goods. "He's been waiting for you! I explained to him that you're my friend, he's ready to welcome you with open arms. He's an absolute sweetheart! Oh! And you know..."
The rest of the sentence that was said had become a muffled blur. The entire world around him slowly began to spin as he felt terrified and panicked. His chest tightening as his stomach began to twist — it felt like he was just punched in the gut, that his vocal cords were being ripped out, the clamminess he felt on his palms spread all throughout his body.
Beomgyu felt like panicking, his breathing becoming shaky and harsh — he felt those eyes staring at him, yet he was too terrified to turn towards him. Because he knew- he knew he fucked up. He fucked up so bad.
While Yeonjun was busy talking on and on, Beomgyu felt suffocated, he felt like the walls were slowly closing in on him as he slowly turned to look over his shoulder, his heart dropping down to his stomach when he saw Taehyun standing there staring at him.
With betrayal and hurt in his eyes.
"Anyways, just let me know if you're going to see him soon," Yeonjun said, finishing up the cookie he was snacking on, wiping his hands off as he ruffled Beomgyu's hair. "I'll see you later this week, take care!"
Beomgyu bit down on the bottom of his lip, trying to hold back the scream that began to build up in his throat as he followed the elder to the door — avoiding eye contact with a specific ghost as he opened the door and shakily wished him a safe drive, closing the door with a soft click that echoed too loud.
He stood there, his hand tightening around the knob as he stared at the door in horror. He knew Yeonjun meant well, he doesn't know that there was a ghost in the house, but he can't help but feel so... so angry that he had said that.
The guilt was choking him at this point, emotions crashing down on him like a storm as he tried his best to move away — but his feet stayed grounded. He felt frozen in fear, as if some invisible chains had came out of the ground and wrapped themselves around his ankles, preventing him from leaving.
He can't face him.
Taehyun knows.
He heard everything.
He's going to hate him.
"Beomgyu."
The male flinched when he heard that soft honey voice speak up, his breathing becoming ragged as he stared at the door in front of him, his hands trembling when he recognized the faint tone of... sadness, uncertainty, and confusion in his words.
"Hyung," Taehyun spoke up again, his voice shaking — he was closer now. "Turn around, please."
Beomgyu's jaw clenched tightly, the world starting to feel like it was spinning, he started to feel sick to his stomach. He doesn't want to turn around, he doesn't want to face him. He doesn't know what will happen, but- he... he can't do this.
"Gyu—"
Before Taehyun could finish his sentence, Beomgyu suddenly pushed himself away from the door and immediately walked past the ghost, keeping his head down as he avoided eye contact, rushing into the living room to get away from him, but Taehyun chased behind him right away.
"Beomgyu!" He called out, his voice desperate this time. "I need you to talk to me!—"
"Th-There's nothing to talk about, Taehyun." Beomgyu replied, his tone betraying him as his voice cracked.
Taehyun stared at him in disbelief, his eyes widened as his brows were furrowed, immediately rushing forward as he stood in front of the elder — stopping him right in his tracks as his hands began to shake, wanting to grab onto him.
"There is something to talk about but you're avoiding it, you're avoiding me," Taehyun said, his tone stern yet shaky. "What... what did Yeonjun mean when he said... you found Huening Kai...?"
Beomgyu's hands tightened into fists, his knuckles turning white as his nails dug crescents into his skin. He couldn't bring himself to say anything, he couldn't even bring himself to look up at the ghost. He never felt so weak and pathetic more than he did now.
He's an idiot. He's a fucking idiot.
"You... you told me that you didn't... you didn't find anything about him, but..." Taehyun trailed off, his voice shaky as he stepped closer, the air turning colder as he stared at him — his eyes watering. "Yeonjun... said you did. Beomgyu did... did you..."
"...did you lie to me?"
Beomgyu's breath hitched when that question was asked, his head instantly snapping up, immediately making eye contact with Taehyun which made his heart break.
Taehyun, who was effortlessly pretty, who always had a smile on his face despite the given situation he was in, was staring at him with tears in his eyes. His brows furrowed in a mixture of confusion and hurt, small little droplets began to roll down his face with every blink.
His expression just screamed betrayal, and it made his heart ache.
"Answer me!" Taehyun said, raising his voice louder as visible frustration began to show, his voice cracking as he did. "Beomgyu, you lied to me, didn't you? Answer me!"
"I.." Beomgyu finally spoke up, his voice cracking, unable to tear his gaze away from those tears. "I... didn't mean to, I swear."
The silence that followed was deafening, causing him to slowly panic as he watched Taehyun's expression drop — the younger's mouth opening and closing as he tried his best to say something, but only air came out. His eyes becoming red rimmed as the tears began to build up even more.
He couldn't bear to see him like this anymore.
"Why...?" Taehyun croaked out, taking a step back as if he were trying to contain his emotions. "Why would you—"
"I was scared!" Beomgyu immediately replied, taking a step forward as he reached out, only to remember that he couldn't physically touch Taehyun. "I-I wanted- it was too soon- I thought- I just wanted to keep you around a little more—"
"Three days, you kept this from me for three whole days?!" Taehyun exclaimed, pointing a finger at him while tears began to finally flow. "You didn't think at least once to tell me? I would've understood why, you didn't have to lie to me about it, Beomgyu!"
"I know, I know!" He exclaimed, his voice cracking as he threw his hands in the air. "I know I should've told you, Tyun. I know I shouldn't have lied to you, but I-I was scared, I didn't want you to leave so soon—"
"Do you think I'm not fucking scared too, Beomgyu?!" Taehyun cut him off, his tone harsher now as he stared at him disbelief. "I'm hurt because you lied to me, I'm hurt because you kept this a secret from me! What happened to us trusting each other? I-I would've understood if you'd just talked to me instead of hiding this!"
Beomgyu felt his throat tighten, his chest aching as his head began to hurt. Taehyun was still trying to be understanding even throughout a situation like this, he was still trying to be respectful even when he had gone and betrayed him.
"We- we didn't have to go straight to Huening Kai right away," Taehyun spoke up again, voice more weaker as he covered his face — tears falling down more. "You could've just told me, I would've understand. I don't mind waiting a few more days with you, but you didn't have to lie to me."
"I-It's your regret Taehyun, I thought—"
"You thought, Beomgyu. You didn't know. You didn't even ask!" He snapped, throwing his hands down as a sob broke out. "You should've talked to me! Regret or not, you didn't have to lie!"
"You don't understand—"
"Then make me understand, Beomgyu!" Taehyun raised his voice desperately, causing the other to flinch as he instinctively took a step back. "Talk to me, stop being cautious! Help me understand what you feel, tell me why you did this. I know you didn't lie to me for no reason- so- so just- fuck!"
Before he could finish his sentence, another loud sob broke out as Taehyun immediately covered his face, turning away as he sank down onto the floor — no longer strong enough to keep himself up as he buried his face into the couch, his sobs muffled as his shoulders trembled.
Beomgyu stood there frozen, staring at the younger who was sobbing loudly. His hands were twitching by his side, desperate to just extend out and hold him, but he couldn't. He couldn't do anything.
He can't reach out to hold him, he can't reach out to comfort him, he can't reach out to cup his face and pull him into a kiss to ease those tears. He couldn't do anything at all because he was... dead.
All he wanted to do was comfort him.
Yet his selfish desires hurt him.
Beomgyu stood there silently, unsure of what to do until he finally sighed, allowing himself to soak in the guilt and shame that he was drowning in. So with cautious steps, he slowly walked over towards the younger and slowly sat down next to him, leaning his back against the couch, making sure there was enough distance between them.
He didn't say anything for a few minutes, only drowning in the sounds of soft sobs coming from the ghost. He hated it, he hated hearing Taehyun cry, it made his heart twist painfully as if it was encased in barbed wires. It felt like thousands of knives were being stabbed into his gut.
"Taehyun," He spoke softly, his tone ridden with guilt and desperation. "I'm... I'm sorry."
No response, not that he was expecting one. But it still hurt to know that the younger wasn't talking to him.
"And I know 'I'm sorry' isn't going to fix everything, but I promise I didn't lie to hurt you," He continued on, speaking softly as his heart began to break little by little. "But I promise I didn't mean to hurt you, I promise that I didn't lie to hurt you I..I'm... I'm selfish."
Taehyun didn't say anything once again, but this time, he had slowly tilted his head up and looked over at the elder — causing his heart to skip a beat when he saw those puffy red eyes with tears falling from them, all he wanted to do was lean forward and wipe them off of his face.
"When I found out, I wanted to tell you right away, I promise but... I..." His voice trailed off, flashbacks to the night of the fireworks replaying in his head, the overwhelming realization of his new feelings. "I was... scared, Tyun. I-I.. you gave me this rush, a new feeling. You gave me the hope and inspiration I desperately searched for, something I haven't felt so long. I...I just feel so happy whenever I'm with you, and I wasn't ready to let go of that. I'm... I'm not ready to let go of you at all."
"Gyu.."
"I thought that if I.. If I just stayed silent for a few days, I could spend a few more days with you. I was going to tell you, I wanted to tell you, but I'm scared Taehyun," Beomgyu's voice began to shake, his tone becoming more weak as he brought his knees to his chest. "I enjoy your company so much, I enjoy the new rush you give me, and I'm so scared to lose you. Nobody has ever made me feel so happy like the way you did. I know it was selfish to lie, I'm sorry."
I lied because I'm in love with you.
I lied because I wanted you to stay with me, even if you can't love me back.
Those two sentences echoed out in his head, the words bubbling in his throat and lingering on his tongue — desperate to speak them out loud, but he chose to stay quiet. Knowing that if he had said those words, then he would only hurt himself more.
There was only silence between the two of them for the next five minutes, the expression on Taehyun's face was unreadable. Though the tears were now dried up, his eyes were still red and puffy, making his heart ache — he should've never lied, he should've told the truth.
It wasn't until a small sigh broke the silence, causing his stomach to twist.
"Do you remember when you asked me if I'm scared to move onto the afterlife?" Taehyun suddenly asked, his tone tired and weak.
The question repeated in his head, memories coming back to him right away. The first time he had met Taehyun he had asked him that, he had replied with saddened confidence that he was ready. But this was the second time he was bringing it up again, it made him... confused.
"I do remember," He replied, glancing over at him as his expression softened. "Why?"
Taehyun was silent for a minute, his lips trembling as he opened his mouth to say something, only to hesitate as his eyes started to bloom red once again, glossy tears forming in his eyes which made his heart drop at the sight.
"At first, I wasn't scared. I was ready, there was no point on me staying here anymore, I had nothing to look forward to... but..." Taehyun paused, his breath trembling as tears began to fall — looking over towards the elder with a defeated expression. "I..I am scared, Gyu. I don't know what's waiting for me, and I thought that I had nothing to live for anymore but- but being with you..."
"I want to live for you," Taehyun breathed out, a sob mixing in with his words as he covered his face. "I don't want to leave. Being with you made me feel alive again, it made me feel like I was living again, but I-I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave you either."
Beomgyu felt his mouth go dry, his eyes widening at the words he was hearing. It was messing with his head and his heart — this entire time, he was certain that the younger was ready to move on. That being a ghost was tiring enough and that he wanted to rush the process, rush to the afterlife. But instead, here he was... sobbing... saying he was scared to leave because of... him.
No, they can't do this. He can't do this, he needs to stop listening — if he continues on, then his heart won't be able to handle it.
"Taehyun—"
"You don't know how hard it is being... like this," Taehyun spoke up, cutting him off as his tone turned sour, nearly angry. "You don't understand how hard it is. I want to give you all of me, Gyu. I want to tell you everything about myself but I can't remember. I want to..."
He suddenly paused, bringing his hands down as he looked over towards the elder, his lips trembling. "I want to hold you. I want to touch you, I want to feel your warmth over my body but- I- I can't. We can't. Every time I see others who are... are alive, that can hold you, touch you... I get so jealous, I'm envious and I'm just so- it hurts. Gyu. You don't know how badly I want to hug you but I can't because i'm dead."
"So I'm begging you," Taehyun continued on, his voice barely above a whisper, slowly looking away. "Just let me go, please. So it's easier on both of our hearts."
Beomgyu felt sick, he felt so nauseous hearing those words. All he wanted to do was refute every sentence and prove Taehyun wrong that they can do something, that they'll find a solution to everything that he was upset about. That their time together wasn't for nothing, they can do something — they have time.
But... the way Taehyun had desolately pleaded for him to let him go, so that they won't suffer anymore, made his chest ache.
The words "i love you" wanted to come out, his throat closing up as he raised a hand to reach out towards the ghost — only for him to pause mid air. He was right, every word he said was right. No matter how desperately he wanted to reach out and hold him, he couldn't.
Taehyun had been wandering aimlessly for four hopeless years, and he was just one regret and discovery away from heading to the afterlife. He can't keep him here, no matter how happy he makes him, no matter how much inspiration and hopes he feels because of him.
No matter how much he loves him, he can't keep him here.
So with a shaky sigh, Beomgyu looked away and stood up, wiping his teary eyes as he tried to ignore the ache in his heart — making up his mind as he thought about how happier they'd both be if they didn't go through this painful process. All he wanted was Taehyun to be happy, and if... if letting him go will do the job, then he has no other choice.
"Come on, Tyun." Beomgyu spoke up softly, trying his best to keep his tone calm, although he felt like sobbing right there.
Taehyun slowly looked over towards him, his eyes widened as he stood up, tilting his head in confusion — as if he had expected him to say more. "Wh-Where are we going?"
Beomgyu bit down on the bottom of his lip, holding back his tears as he clenched his fists tightly. Shoving down his emotions as he tried his best to keep calm, but his mask was slowly breaking little by little.
he had to let him go.
So with a saddened smile, he turned towards the younger, a tear slipping down his face, trying his best to keep his composure cool despite the horrible storm that swirled in his heart.
"We're going to go to Huening Kai and finally complete your third regret."
Beomgyu stood in front of the apartment door, his palms damp with sweat as he exhaled a deep breath, shifting nervously from foot to foot as he mentally prepared himself for what he was going to say.
He had checked multiple times on the GPS that the address Yeonjun had sent him was correct, that he was heading to the correct place — but he can't help but feel a little paranoid that the elder had tricked him somehow, especially since this... Huening Kai... person is someone he's interested in.
Beomgyu awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, glancing back at Taehyun to stood a step behind him. Of course the ghost looked calm in this moment, he also looked so beautiful it made his chest ache.
But the lack of smiling on his face made him sick to his stomach.
He should've expected it, after what had happened that the air around them would be awkward. When they were in the car on the way to Huening Kai's location, they hadn't said a word to each other except the occasional questions of whether they were heading the right way or not.
It was starting to affect him. He hated this. He shouldn't have lied, but every single word Taehyun said echoed out in his mind.
I want to live for you.
Being with you makes me feel alive again.
I want to hold you.
Just let me go, please.
Those words repeated over and over in his head again, causing his heart to become a painful mess, as if someone had ripped open his chest and decided to wrap their hand around his heart and squeeze harshly. It made him so sick to his stomach.
He doesn't want to do this, he doesn't want Taehyun to leave, but he has to... he has to let him go.
"Is everything alright, Gyu?"
He suddenly flinched when that soft melodic voice spoke up after a moment, causing him to look over towards Taehyun who was now standing closer to him — his facial expression more softer than the tensed one from before.
"Uh..." Beomgyu muttered under his breath, clenching his fists tightly before nodding. "Yeah, I...I'm just a little nervous." I'm scared to lose you.
Taehyun smiled softly, though it lacked the usual sweetness, he shook his head. "Don't be nervous, I'm sure Huening Kai is a sweetheart, especially since he was my best friend. Also, if Yeonjun hyung is so obsessed with him, then he must be good at heart, right?"
Beomgyu bit down on the inside of his cheek to distract himself from his nerves, Taehyun was right. Whoever this Huening Kai person was must've been an absolute sweetheart to earn the "best friend" title from Taehyun and easily capture Yeonjun's heart.
Plus, he's the key to finally discovering more of Taehyun's past.
"You got this!" Taehyun encouraged, raising a fist as he smiled wider — his bright demeanor slowly returning despite the tension. "It's going to be easy! Just ask simple questions about me!"
Beomgyu let out a breathy chuckle, rolling his eyes. Maybe he shouldn't be so nervous, he wasn't necessarily popping up out of no where anyway. Yeonjun did give him a heads up that he would be coming over soon so... hopefully that would ease down the awkwardness that was bound to happen.
"Alright." He muttered before calming himself, raising a fist as he knocked on the door a couple of times.
The silence that stretched out for a moment was long enough for him to second guess every decision he made leading to this moment. Maybe he should've invited Huening Kai over to his house instead so he wouldn't have to face the embarrassment of explaining this awkward situation.
Seriously, how messed up is it for someone to appear at your door all of a sudden and ask of your friend that had passed away four years ago? That's so creepy.
Just as he was about to turn around and tell Taehyun to run so he won't have to face major embarrassment, the door had suddenly creaked open, revealing a boy with soft features, tired eyes, and a confused expression.
"Yes?" Huening Kai spoke up, his voice soft and polite, though it looked like he was paranoid. "Can I help you?"
Beomgyu blinked, taken back. Holy shit.
Huening Kai was mad pretty.
The male seriously looked unreal, it made his breath hitched when he saw how... pretty he was. There was no doubt that he was Taehyun's best friend, the both of them had the same soft facial expression and tone they used with everyone else. And he definitely understood why Yeonjun took his chance with him, oh god.
He was also half expecting Huening Kai to... somehow recognize him — he was an uprising artist on social media after all — but there wasn't even a flicker of recognition in the boys gaze. Which made him a bit grateful, since he won't get some ridiculous art questions.
"Uhm... hello?"
Beomgyu flinched, snapping back into reality when he realized that he was staring, making him clear his throat awkwardly, forcing a smile.
"Uh, hi. You're Huening Kai, right?" He asked, his voice coming out higher than intended, making him want to slap himself. "I'm Beomgyu, Yeonjun's friend. I think he sent you a heads up that I'd be coming over."
The mention of Yeonjun made Huening Kai's expression immediately brighten, a gentle smile growing on his face as he opened the door wider. "I am! Any friends of hyung is my friend as well, would you like to come in?"
A wave of relief washed over him when the male had instantly lowered his guard, taking a quick glance towards Taehyun who was staring at Huening Kai so intensely, he nodded his head and visibly relaxed. "Yeah, I would love to."
Huening Kai nodded his head as he stepped to the side and opened the door wider, allowing Beomgyu to walk in as he took in the warm cozy interior of his apartment. It was tidy and simple with warm lighting, but it was nice, super nice. He took a minute to look around until he headed to the couch, sitting down on the edge as Taehyun quickly took a seat next to him — his cold presence somehow warming his nerves.
"Would you like water or any type of beverages?" Huening Kai asked, tilting his head a little as he approached Beomgyu.
"H-Huh? Oh, uhm, just a water is fine, thank you."
Huening Kai nodded his head and smiled warmly, heading to the kitchen area to get them a glass of water, momentarily leaving Beomgyu alone which allowed the male to take a deep breath. He hadn't expected such warm hospitality at all, if anything, he was certain that Huening Kai would find him weird for suddenly appearing out of no where, asking about him.
"So..." Beomgyu spoke up softly, making sure his voice was quiet as he looked over at Taehyun. "What do you think about him so far?"
Taehyun looked over at him for a moment before back at Huening Kai where they could hear faint humming, his eyes softening as he slowly looked back. "He's... He's familiar. He's definitely my best friend, I have... these blurry memories replaying in my head, he was in most of those memories. And... he looks so healthy, I'm happy he's okay."
Beomgyu nodded his head, swallowing a lump in his throat when he felt the air slowly easing down. Taehyun was so close to completing his third regret, that he was soon about to receive the closure that he needed, and it was all a harsh reminder that he would be leaving soon.
But at least he would be happy...?
"I-I'm glad you're happy," Beomgyu managed to say, stuttering just a little as he looked away — masking the pain that he felt. "Hopefully we'll get some answers."
Taehyun didn't say anything else, only staring at the elder with a fond expression that made him feel so small. He wasn't sure if Taehyun was still mad at him or not, but all he cared about was making sure he got the reassurance and closure he needed.
he's going to miss him so much.
he should've realized his feelings sooner.
he should've met him sooner.
why couldn't fate intertwine their paths beforehand? why now...?
"Here you go!"
Huening Kai's voice suddenly broke through his trance, causing him to look up towards the male who was standing in front of him, smiling sweetly as he held a glass of water in front of him — hesitantly reaching out for it.
"So," Huening Kai spoke up, heading to sit on the other side of the couch, watching Beomgyu closely. "What can I do for you? I was surprised when Yeonjun hyung told me that one of his friends wanted to meet with me, I thought I was in trouble or something."
Beomgyu's mouth ran dry, not expecting for him to dive in right away. So with a hesitant smile, he quickly took a sip of water to prepare himself as he looked back. Gosh, this was so scary. How the hell is he supposed to do this? He can't straight up just say "your dead best friend sent me to talk to you so he can move onto the afterlife", that sounds absolutely insane.
He has to approach this in a subtle way, because he also has no proper excuse to say if he was asked how he had met Taehyun.
"I'm not sure if Yeonjun told you, most likely not, but I... uh... recently moved into this house in the outskirts of downtown," Beomgyu slowly spoke up, watching how Huening Kai's expression went cold for a split second. "...And I found some... things, from the old owner... and I was wondering..."
Beomgyu suddenly paused, unsure of how he should continue with this approach. The cold expression that flashed on the other's face made his stomach twist, he doesn't want to upset Huening Kai by bringing up Taehyun — but he was scared.
But he had no other choice, with Taehyun besides him staring at Huening Kai so intensely, he had to get answers for the both of them.
"Who was Kang Taehyun to you," Beomgyu finally asked, anxiety washing over him once the words left his mouth. "And... and how exactly did he die?"
Huening Kai stiffened, his posture turning rigid as his eyes darkened with sorrow and confusion — as if that name had somehow ticked him off. The changed expression made Beomgyu's heart drop as the air began to feel thick, and he was really debating whether he should get up and leave or not.
"He..." Huening Kai's voice began to tremble, his hands tightening into fists on his lap as he glanced down at the floor. "He was my best friend. Since high school, and he still is my best friend now."
Beomgyu felt his heart break when the male had said that, the new information processing in his head as he glanced over towards Taehyun who stared at Huening Kai fondly, as if he had remembered something, but didn't dare to speak up.
He felt a lump get caught in his throat, his chest tightening. They were best friends since high school, and Taehyun was taken away too soon. Nobody deserves to lose their best friend, nobody deserves to lose anyone.
It broke his heart.
Even four years later, Huening Kai remained loyal to Taehyun, even with him gone... he's still calling him his best friend.
"That house you're living in at the moment," Huening Kai spoke up again, his voice cracking, the memories putting pressure on him. "That was Taehyun's old house, he had purchased it to live with his boyfriend."
Boyfriend.
Beomgyu's heart sank to his stomach, a nauseous sensation washing over him when he heard that word.
"Boyfriend...?" He heard Taehyun mutter softly, as if he was unfamiliar with the memory, his eyebrows furrowed as he searched desperately in his hazy mind for some sort of memory.
Beomgyu's eyebrows furrowed, a tinge of jealousy and confusion overtook his senses. He knew that the house must've belonged to Taehyun beforehand, but discovering that the younger had actually brought it for him and his... old boyfriend, made his stomach twist.
"I'm sorry," Huening Kai spoke up, clearing his voice as he glanced at him once again, his expression guarded. "Why are you asking this? It's been four years, and... and I'm sure you didn't know him, so why are you asking this now?"
Beomgyu flinched, his eyes widening for a moment, he hadn't expected that question at all. But it was understandable, he came out of no where and started asking about someone's dead best friend who he had supposedly zero knowledge about.
"I...I..." He stuttered, trying to search for an excuse, feeling weak under both Taehyun and Huening Kai's gazes. "I wanted closure, the house... it feels suffocating, like there's eternal sadness and pain in it. I searched around while cleaning and found this... paper with his name on it, so I figured I would... find out how he died and somehow bring closure to get rid of that... suffocating sensation."
Maybe that answer didn't make the best sense, but it was all he could conjure up at the moment. But it was also part truth, when he had entered that house before it was transformed, it reeked of sadness and pain, that someone had left something behind.
For the next few minutes, there was only silence. Yet the contemplating expression that appeared on Huening Kai's face spoke measures, as if he was debating whether he truly should say what was on his mind or not.
It made Beomgyu uncomfortable, the silence felt suffocating, and it felt like there was a loud ringing in his ear that wouldn't go away. When he looked back over towards Taehyun, he saw the younger staring at his best friend sadly, as if he desperately wanted to say something, even though he couldn't.
Maybe he approached this too soon, he should've rehearsed what he was going to say.
"Listen," Beomgyu spoke up, his tone steady. "We don't have to—"
"They ruled it as a suicide," Huening Kai interrupted sharply, his voice shaking. "They said he drowned himself in the bathtub inside of the house."
Beomgyu froze, his words dying in his throat. His stomach lurched violently as the weight of Huening Kai's statement hit him. The words reverberated in his mind, each one louder than the last, like a cruel taunt.
Taehyun.
Bathtub.
Suicide.
Taehyun... killed himself...?
Beomgyu's throat began to close up as his eyes began to burn with tears that were slowly beginning to form. The words hitting him harder than anything he's ever endured, making him sick to his stomach. He glanced over towards Taehyun, whose face was eerily calm, though his eyes flickered with disbelief and shock.
Suicide. Taehyun had killed himself. His death... his death was a suicide?
That... that doesn't... make sense.
Denial was what clouded his mind, making him sick to his stomach. Taehyun had taken his own life by drowning himself in the bathtub at the house, this entire time... the sweetest ghost he's ever met... had suffered when he was alive — could that be the reason why he was so... bright as a ghost?
"I killed myself...?" Taehyun's voice broke through his trance, his tone in near disbelief as if he had no memory of that.
The burning sensation that built up in his eyes began to sting even more, making him feel even more nauseous than before. There's no way that... that he had actually taken his life, right?
"They said that his ex boyfriend had found himself in the bathtub," Huening Kai continued on, his voice strained as if he was growing angry with the explanation. "...already gone."
Beomgyu felt like sobbing right then and there, his head racing with so many questions, so many thoughts — why would Taehyun take his own life? What... what made him end it that way? Had he been suffering so much that it became unbearable? Did he not reach out for help?
wait.
He suddenly paused, his eyebrows scrunching when he slowly started to realize something in Huening Kai's words.
They ruled it as a suicide.
They said he drowned himself.
They said he found him.
They said his ex boyfriend had found him.
Beomgyu's slowly started to realize the flaw in the males words, his eyes widening in horror as he slowly looked over at Huening Kai who was staring at him blankly, as if he had been waiting for him to realize his hint.
Every word that Huening Kai said was carefully measured and calm, but something about it felt so... off. When referring to Taehyun's death, he never explicitly said he or him.
"It..." Beomgyu breathed out, his stomach burning with nausea and horror, his breathing becoming shaky. "It wasn't really suicide... was it...?"
Huening Kai's expression faltered, his eyes instantly becoming teary as he immediately covered his mouth, a muffled sob escaping him as he bowed his head low, nodding it weakly.
"He didn't kill himself," He shakily sobbed, trying to compose himself the best he could. "He was murdered, Beomgyu."
...murdered...?
The silence that followed after was deafening, his eyes widened in horror as Taehyun's expression darkened — neither of them said anything as they stared at Huening Kai. Beomgyu waited for the male to say something along the lines that he was joking or something, that what he said wasn't the truth.
But when Huening Kai looked back up at him with raw tears, a genuine pained expression, it made him break.
"Murdered...?" He repeated, his tone in disbelief as he felt tears slowly beginning to fall from his eyes — his heart tightening so much, it felt like it was about to explode. "He... he was murdered... by- by who?"
Huening Kai quickly wiped his face, his tears still streaming as he tilted his head up, trying to breathe properly before he continued on. "Hwang Seongjin," He said, his tone bitter. "His ex boyfriend, he had- he-"
Huening Kai suddenly paused, his jaw clenching tightly as he tilted his head down — as if he were mentally beating himself up over this, making Beomgyu's heart drop. Taehyun however, seemed like he was on the verge of tears, hesitantly scooting closer to his best friend even though he couldn't see or touch him.
"It was the night before their anniversary," Huening Kai shakily continued on, blinking through his tears. "Taehyun had arrived home, caught him c-cheating. Started an argument and yelled at him, saying he was going to break it off and tell their families and I-I guess Seongjin just snapped. He had knocked Taehyun out and drowned him in that damn bathtub. Then reported it himself to cover his damn tracks."
Beomgyu's blood ran cold, instantly covering his mouth as his mind flashed back to Taehyun's unease around the bathroom, the strange reactions, and the heaviness of that area. Everything seemed to click right away.
It explains everything, oh god. It explains why the younger was scared. Why he had lost his life so young. Why he had regrets. Why he couldn't remember his ex boyfriend's name — it was because that... bastard had murdered him because he couldn't live up to his asshole tendencies being exposed.
Twenty years old. Taehyun was murdered at twenty years old because of his ex boyfriend, Hwang Seongjin.
Beomgyu's shock slowly turned into anger and bitterness, his hands tightening into fists as he slowly looked over towards Taehyun who had a saddened expression, staring back at him with tears in his eyes — and for a moment neither of them said anything, as if Beomgyu was truly trying to accept that this was really the way he had died.
But after a moment, Taehyun shakily spoke up.
"He's right," Taehyun said, his voice breaking as memories began to flood back. "I was killed, I had this faint memory of it that just came back to me."
no. no. no no no no no.
there's no way. there's no fucking way.
This whole entire time, Taehyun had died because he was murdered, but it was covered as a damn suicide?!
Beomgyu felt angry, his vision flashing red as he clenched his jaw tightly. He wanted to go find that Seongjin bastard, the one who had taken his Taehyun's life away from him too soon — the one who was probably living freely without a damn shame. He was going to kill him, he was going to fucking kill him.
"How did you find out, what the hell happened to him?!" Beomgyu asked, his tone coming out harsher than he intended as his face began to flush red from anger.
Huening Kai flinched at the sudden angry tone, but he kept his composure, though he had began to choke up on his words. "I-I heard him brag about it at the funeral, bastard was far away from everyone but he was drunk out of his mind. He was telling that damn side bitch of his what had happened, and when- when I found out—"
"Did you not report it to the police?" Beomgyu interrupted him, his mind a blur, unaware that Taehyun had stood up and walked over back to him. "He- he can't be free, right?"
"I tried reporting it, but the case had closed and there was no solid evidence besides blunt trauma to the damn head!" Huening Kai choked out, raising his voice. "I couldn't do anything else. I couldn't even tell anyone because they all were convinced it was suicide. His parents were devastated and cut contact with everyone.. and... and that bastard had moved overseas, living his damn life when he took my best friends life! I couldn't..."
"I couldn't protect him." Huening Kai said weakly before he began to break right away — thicker tears streaming down his face as he began to choke out soft sobs. "I-I couldn't save him, I always knew there was something shady about that damn Seongjin but I-I was too late to save him."
Beomgyu fell silent, watching as Huening Kai broke down fully — memories that he tried so hard to bury coming back to him when he explained everything to him began to resurface. The sobs echoing out in the room which made his chest ache in guilt after he had raised his voice at him, making him hesitate on what to say.
But he was so angry. So fucking angry that... that Taehyun had died an unrighteousness death. That the bastard who took his life was now happy but... he was left wandering.
He was about to say something until Taehyun's voice broke the silence, soft and steady as he sat close to Beomgyu. "Hyung, tell him I'm sorry, tell him that it wasn't his fault and that- that I'm always grateful for him, that I'm grateful that he was my best friend."
Beomgyu looked over towards him, noticing how close Taehyun was, maybe he needed comfort after discovering something so dark about his past. So with a tight smile, he nodded his head and turned back towards Huening Kai who was still wiping his tears.
"Huening Kai," He said gently, swallowing the thick lump stuck in his throat. "Please don't feel bad, if anything, I'm sure Taehyun would want to tell you he's sorry."
He watched as the male suddenly froze, slowly looking up at Beomgyu as if he had said something crazy, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "W-What?"
"It's not your fault that he was taken away so soon, it was never your fault," Beomgyu continued on, trying his best to stay strong but he was so close to sobbing. "I'm sure if Taehyun were here now, he would still be grateful for you. Grateful that you've kept his memory alive, grateful that you're living for him still."
Huening Kai stared at him, his tear-streaked face slowly softening — though he was confused, he still listened.
"Tell him that he would be my best friend forever, in this life and the next," Taehyun continued on, leaning closer to Beomgyu for that comforting warmth, almost as if he were about to cry himself. "That... he's always going to be my star."
Beomgyu nodded his head, wiping his tears as he took a deep breath. "He would choose you as his best friend forever and ever, in this life and even the next," He said, staying firm. "That you'll forever be his star, so please.. don't live with guilt. You made him happy during his time, be proud of that."
Huening Kai's breath hitched, his eyes widening more at the familiar nickname he hadn't heard in years, and although he had many questions that needed to be answered — a fresh wave of tears began to pour down from his cheeks. Immediately burying his face in his hands, his sobs now filled with both sorrow and relief instead of the saddened one from earlier.
The air around them began to turn lighter, as if that heaviness from before slowly started to dissipate after Beomgyu had finished talking. As if new light began to shine down into the whole room as Huening Kai visibly relaxed.
In that moment, Beomgyu slowly started to realize why that sensation came to be.
They had did it, they had completed Taehyun's third regret of apologizing to his best friend, giving him that long awaited closure he desperately needed.
"Thank you," Huening Kai spoke up through his tears, his voice almost a whisper. "Thank you for telling me this."
Beomgyu smiled warmly, biting back his own tears as he slowly glanced over towards Taehyun who looked visibly relieved and lighter. The younger staring at him with fondness in his eyes as a smile grew on his face, the smile that he had began to adore and cherish.
"Thank you, hyung." Taehyun said softly, his voice lighter as his body was visibly relaxed. It was as if all of the heavy weight and tension he had been carrying for years had finally gone.
Anytime.
Beomgyu's smile faltered when a voice in the back of his mind began screaming at him, that this... this was it. That they had completed Taehyun's three regrets, they had discovered how he had died, that he would soon... leave and go to the afterlife.
he didn't want this moment to end.
Beomgyu's jaw clenched tightly as he felt a wave of sorrow hit him hard, it felt like half of his heart was being ripped away from him when he realized that soon Taehyun would be gone.
But before he could drown in that sorrow once again, Huening Kai spoke up.
"Would you like to see pictures? Maybe hear stories too? It's been a while since i've talked about him, and you seem like you care about him." Huening Kai asked, his tears shallow as he looked more calm now.
Beomgyu was a bit taken back by the offer, his breathing hitching as he glanced over towards Taehyun who immediately nodded, wanting to hear these stories and hear what his life was like in someone else's perspective.
This was their chance to finally learn about Taehyun, the true Taehyun.
So with a soft smile, he nodded his head, shoving those thoughts away. He shouldn't focus on what would happen later, this was now, and right now he was finally learning more about the boy he had fallen in love with.
"Yeah," Beomgyu said, smiling widely. "I would love to."
By the time they arrived back at the house, the sun had already set.
They had spent hours at Huening Kai's, listening to the stories he had to tell of Taehyun when he was alive — listening to every word intently as Taehyun confirmed each story, regaining his lost memories slowly.
It felt like he was reliving every moment, remembering every single part of the story that Huening Kai had told. Beomgyu was surprised to learn that Taehyun wanted to be a musician, that he had a soft heart for music and anything artistic, he wanted to bring new harmony to the world with his talent.
The more stories that he listened to, the more he felt like he was falling deeper into that abyss of overwhelming emotions that he could not escape from. Every single story brought out a new light that had been missing, a new piece of Taehyun that had been forgotten, and he found himself falling more.
Huening Kai, was a sweetheart. After he had relayed Taehyun's message to him, the air had turned sweet and clear — the heavy weight far gone. But he couldn't help but feel a bit of anxiety in his heart.
He tried his best, he really did, but there was a thin layer of anger and bitterness boiling within him. With every story told, he was reminded that it was a story of the past — that those memories will forever stay in the past, frozen in time, because that... cheating bastard decided to end a life for his mistake that he couldn't own up to.
It made him so angry.
Taehyun deserves to be alive, making new memories, meeting new people but instead he's...
Beomgyu sighed softly, shaking that thought out of his head. It's fine, he was here with him now. But.. there was something strange going on with him.
Taehyun, who was usually talkative as ever, was silent on the car ride back to the house. At first, Beomgyu thought that he was still angry at him for lying earlier, but after a bit it seemed like that wasn't the reason at all. It was something else, something deeper.
His responses were short and brief, smiles were tight and weak — it made his chest ache wondering what had happened. He was certain that the younger would be happy, they had managed to discover his past once again... that they were able to finally fill in the empty spots that had been missing.
Taehyun was happy, he saw how he listened to Huening Kai closely and happily confirmed every memory, admiring his best friend from afar... but he also noticed the lingering sadness whenever he would answer a question then cut himself off when he realized that Huening Kai couldn't hear him.
But he made sure to relay every message back to him.
He still couldn't understand why Taehyun was so... quiet though.
It wasn't until they had pulled into the drive way of the house, and that's when realization began to hit him, the reminders ringing like alarm bells in his head when he remembered what they had done this for, and why they've done it.
The third regret.
Discovering Taehyun's death.
They completed everything.
And now he was going to leave.
"T-Taehyun—"
"Let's go inside," Taehyun spoke up before he could finish his sentence, the male eerily calm. "The sun is setting, let's go inside before it gets too dark."
Beomgyu pursed his lips tightly, immediately noticing how tensed the ghost was, but instead of arguing, all he did was sigh and nod his head. He quickly exited out of the car and walked towards the door, feeling Taehyun's faint presence right behind him as he opened the door — the cold air greeting him like a blanket.
The both of them walked inside and didn't say anything, but Beomgyu couldn't brush off the discomfort that Taehyun was leaving soon... but... but soon shouldn't be now, right?
"Taehyun," He spoke up again, turning towards the younger who stared away — his eyes dulled and mind seemed far. "Is everything alright?"
Taehyun didn't give him an answer right away, as if he had to think about the question for a moment, but after a few seconds he just smiled and nodded his head. "Yeah! I'm great, hyung. I'm just... overwhelmed, you know? Finally remembered my whole life after... four years."
That was sorta reassuring, but there was something else in his tone, his voice was more higher pitched and strained, as if he were trying to convince himself that everything was fine. But he could see it in the ghosts body language that something was wrong, wait... did he look more translucent than usual?
A lump started to form in his throat, making him more anxious. They were running out of time, weren't they? That's why Taehyun was acting weird, they were running out of time. No, no, no. He swore that they could've had at least a little bit of time together.
He doesn't want Taehyun to leave, fuck. Why did he rush this whole thing? He's so happy that he managed to complete all of Taehyun's regrets and discover his life again — but he doesn't want him gone so soon.
he doesn't want him leaving, not before he finally says that he loves him.
Taehyun was scared, he was scared on heading to the afterlife without knowing what was waiting for him. He was scared leaving him, he made him feel alive and that made him feel so devastated that he was leaving.
Beomgyu bit on the bottom of his lip, ever since he came into his life, painting had come easy to him, he had somehow been some sort of stone that held him down. Taehyun had managed to bring his passion back, brought life to this house he had tried to escape his feelings from.
But now he was leaving...?
"Taehyun, I...I know we may have not enough time," He had to tell him, he can't let this moment go. He needed to tell him, he can't let him leave sad. "But... but I swear, I meant every word. You're my new passion, you gave me that freedom back and I-I... I lov—"
"I think you should go to bed, hyung."
" — huh...?" Beomgyu finished his sentence off, his eyes widening in confusion when the younger had suddenly said that. He wasn't tired at all. "But... I'm not tired, Tyun."
"I know, but I think you should rest up, maybe you'll realize how tired you are when you lay down." Taehyun said, turning to look at the elder with a sweet smile — but there was something underneath it all.
His tone barely had that familiar warmth in it.
"You're acting weird." Beomgyu said, straightening up as he took a step closer, his eyes squinting a little in suspicion. "Is everything okay? You can talk to me, you know. Are you... still mad about what happened earlier? I can make it up to you, I swear... just give me time."
Taehyun's facial expression had dropped hearing that, he was anxiously picking at the hem of his shirt as he nervously looked around, as if he was trying to figure out something. It made his heart ache, he expected him to be more happier than this, he had gotten his memories back after all... so why... was he so... nervous?
There was something more he wanted to say, there was something he wanted to tell him, but he was refusing to do so.
Beomgyu frowned slightly, the younger's strange behavior taking a toll on him. "We don't have to talk about it now, yeah?" He suggested, though his heart betrayed his words. "We can... go upstairs instead, want to help me... paint? Tell me more of your visions and dreams?"
Taehyun's expression brightened just slightly when the elder had suggested that, though he hesitated for a second, he nodded his head and instantly got closer to Beomgyu, smiling widely. "Of course! I would never miss out on you painting, hyung!"
Beomgyu felt his face begin to heat up, a faint red hue spreading over his cheeks as he awkwardly looked away, his heart racing faster now that the pretty ghost was closer to him. No matter how hard he tried to stop it, his heart just won't stop racing. The butterflies in his stomach swirling more and more in large groups, it made him feel so fuzzy inside.
All he wanted to do was confess his feelings right then and there, he doesn't care if Taehyun was a ghost. He doesn't care if he might not reciprocate his feelings. He doesn't care if it'll hurt him in the long run, he deserves to know that he loves him. That he... he deserves the love that he never got when he was alive.
But for now, with a deep breath, he focused on the feeling of trying to calm down after such an overwhelming day. What had happened in the past will stay in the past, no matter how badly he wish he could've somehow change it. Now, he should focus on the present, on Taehyun.
Even if his heart was aching knowing that their time was limited.
Without another word, Beomgyu smiled softly and started walking to the staircase, slowly ascending up the stairs as his mind began to race. Would... would Taehyun still be here? Does he even know when he would be leaving? He doesn't want to lose him, they completed his regrets... he should be moving onto the afterlife now.
But there were so many unspoken words and feelings between them, and he doesn't want to be too late.
Slowly turning his head, Beomgyu glanced over towards Taehyun who still seemed lost in his thoughts, his eyebrows scrunched as if he were pondering something, and his body was tense. He wanted to know what was bothering him, why his pretty ghost wouldn't talk to him, he doesn't want to see tears on his face again.
They had time, didn't they?
"Taehyun," Beomgyu spoke up, gaining the younger's attention. "Do we... still have time together? You know, before you... leave?"
The reaction on Taehyun's face was ambiguous, he wasn't sure if it was sadness or anger that flashed on the younger's face. It wasn't until he had slowly looked over towards Beomgyu, making direct eye contact — his face eerily blank which made a wave of fear wash down upon him, but after a second, he smiled brightly.
"Of course we do!" He said happily, smiling so wide his dimples were showing. "It probably takes a long time for a soul to head to the afterlife, who knows?"
"So... so you'll be here in the morning right?" Beomgyu asked, his tone cautious. He wanted to confess, he was going to confess tomorrow no matter what.
Taehyun didn't say anything for a split second, his smile faltering before he nodded his head excitedly. "I will, I'll still be here in the morning tomorrow, hyung."
After hearing those words, it was like the weight had slowly lifted off of his shoulders, relief now replacing it. A soft smile began to grow on his face as he nodded, ignoring the weird twisting sensation that began to form in his guts, Taehyun was going to be here and that's all that mattered.
Tonight was just about them.
Tonight was for him.
Beomgyu turned around, his mind clouded with content on spending more time with Taehyun, that they had more time together. It gives him enough time to think about what he wanted to say, how he wanted to convey his feelings.
For now, he was happy.
He was so happy, that he was completely unaware of how Taehyun's smile immediately dropped once he turned away, how his eyes began to weld with tears, and how he had to cover his mouth to prevent any sounds from coming out.
Unaware of how Taehyun had lied to him.
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
The morning light filtered through the curtains brightly, painting soft golden streams across the wooden floor, the soft sounds of birds chirping a melodic tune echoed out, causing him to groan softly.
Beomgyu slowly began to stir awake, the light beaming in the right angle — causing him to blink against the brightness as he slowly opened his eyes, noticing how Taehyun wasn't at the end of his bed or by the window at all.
The house was quiet.
Too quiet.
"Taehyun?" Beomgyu called out, his voice hoarse from sleep as he slowly sat up, trying to rub away the exhaustion.
He had stayed up late at night with the younger, hearing out every single word and vision that he had in his mind, falling deeper into that spell — like a sirens song. There was something so beautiful about Taehyun's voice that made him want to listen to it all day, hear the stories he told, how he expressed his emotions so well, it made his heart feel so warm.
The painting that he had managed to paint, without his anxiety for once, had been one to reflect Taehyun's lost dream of becoming a musician. A giant stage with a grand audience and in the center underneath the pale spotlight was a piano and a person, representing the younger, representing the future he could've have.
And even though it was a painting, it still brought his dreams to life.
After that, he had rehearsed all night over and over in his head on how he was going to confess to the younger, to convey his emotions before heading to bed, the last thing he saw before he slept was Taehyun's sweet smile wishing him goodnight.
Beomgyu waited for an answer, wondering if the younger was downstairs and just didn't hear him. He sat up more properly, glancing around the room, wondering.
It wasn't until a strange uneasiness began to prickle at the back of his neck, and his stomach began to twist uncomfortably.
"Taehyun?" He called again, louder this time where he knows that he would hear it.
Still no answer.
Beomgyu's heart dropped down to his stomach as he swung his legs off of the bed and immediately grabbed his sweater — noticing how the house felt more warm inside than cold, causing him to drop it back onto the floor. His breathing began to become heavy as he padded out into the hallway, his bare feet causing the wooden floorboards to creak loudly.
"Tyun!" He called out again, rushing over towards the art room, opening the door to see if the ghost was inside admiring the paintings again, but all he saw was nothing.
The weird sensation began to twist harsher, causing him to furrow his eyebrows as his heart began to race, slowly approaching the wooden table where he now saw eight white lilies inside the flower vase — yet they looked less bright than usual, making him confused. He could see them withering at the tips.
Where the hell did Taehyun go? He thought, trying to fight his anxiety as he stumbled past his art supplies. Did he leave to the forest? No... No he would've told me.
Beomgyu began to feel nauseous, staring at the withering lilies as he tried to soothe his nerves by rubbing the bracelet — but nothing seemed to ease his nerves.
did he... lie...?
He couldn't take it anymore.
"Taehyun!" He shouted loudly, immediately rushing out of the room. "Where the hell are you?!"
He rushed downstairs, nearly falling on his way down as he checked the living room, only to see him not there. He then rushed to the front of the house where the mini garden they were growing was slowly blooming, again, not there. He checked everywhere, from the tiny closets to every single cabinet. Nothing.
Beomgyu's chest tightened, his breaths growing shallow as the minutes ticked by, the silence only weighting heavier as he constantly called out for Taehyun over and over again, rushing to check everywhere in the house in hopes of seeing him hiding somewhere.
"Taehyun, this isn't funny!" He shouted, his voice cracked with panic. The anxiety clawed at him with every empty room he had passed, where could he have gone? Why would he just leave? No, no no no.
He promised.
He said he would be here.
Beomgyu stopped in the living room, his breath heavier than ever as he looked around once more, grabbing onto his hair tightly as he felt sick. He felt like he was about to fucking puke. Where the hell was he?!
This has to be a joke.
Where is he?
He said he would still be here in the morning.
did he leave?
why would he leave without telling him...?
did he...?
Beomgyu immediately felt a wave of nausea hit him when he realized that Taehyun had lied to him. That they didn't have time at all together, he covered his mouth right away as he gagged loudly — holding onto his stomach as Taehyun's words repeated in his head.
"I will, I'll still be here in the morning tomorrow, hyung."
Those words echoed out over and over again, the bitter truth coming to light when he realized that Taehyun had lied to him. His presence wasn't in the house at all, the heaviness was now lifted, and there were no signs of a ghost anywhere.
He was gone.
Taehyun lied to me. He lied.
why did he lie? was it because I lied? I thought I apologized, it's my fault, isn't it?
he didn't say goodbye.
is he in the afterlife?
he didn't let me say goodbye.
i couldn't tell him that i love him.
Beomgyu doesn't know whether he should feel angry and betrayed. He knew that Taehyun would be leaving, but did he have to lie about it? He wanted to wish him goodbye, he wanted to tell him he loves him, he doesn't care if he's selfish. He doesn't care if they couldn't work out because he was a ghost, all he wanted to do was convey his feelings to him.
but now... he's gone... and he was too late.
Beomgyu choked out a muffled sob, pushing himself off of his spot as he stumbled into the kitchen to get a glass of water, but before he could fully process anything — something had caught his attention, causing his breath to hitch.
On the countertop sat a single white lily on top of a piece of paper, its petals pristine and glowing faintly in the morning light. It was different than the ones he had seen upstairs, the ones that were slowly withering.
His eyebrows furrowed slightly, his hands trembling as he approached it, his steps slow and hesitant.
He picked up the lily first, its softness almost grounding him, his eyes softening as he saw Taehyun's smile flash in his head. His heart began to ache, yearning to hear the younger's voice one last time, to see his beautiful face before he left.
"You idiot," He muttered under his breath, anger simmering just slightly. "Why did you have to lie to me...? I would've..."
Beomgyu paused, would he have even been okay watching him leave...?
He doesn't know whether to feel sad or angry more, he had so many apologizes to say. He had so many paintings to paint for him, he had visions that he wanted to bring to life because of him and now- now here he was, left alone again.
The spark that had been burning bright for the past few days started to slowly fade away the longer Taehyun wasn't by his side.
Beomgyu turned his attention towards the paper, his eyes widening when he saw words written on them, causing him to be momentarily confused as he slowly picked it up with shaking fingers, his breath hitching when he saw the words written.
Beomgyu,
If you're reading this, it means i've finally made it to the afterlife! I don't know how much time has passed since I left and I'm sad I can't tell you what it looks like, but I want you to know that I'm okay since I know you'll be panicking, you silly idiot. It's okay, I'm free, and it's all because of you.
Meeting you was the best thing that has ever happened to me after four years of hopelessly wandering. You brought Jeju Island to me when I couldn't go myself. You let me see the fireworks at the summer festival, which was all better with you there. You helped me discover how I died, and you gave me the closure and reassurance I needed when apologizing to Huening Kai. Because of you, I got to live life a second time, even as a ghost.
I should be content now. I should be ready to move on without regrets, all of them were fulfilled... except a new one that I just can't shake, and it's the reason I'm writing this.
That regret... is that I never got to properly tell you that I love you.
I love you so much, Beomgyu. Not for the painter you are or for what you think you should be, but for everything else you are. I love your kindness, your strength, your stubbornness, and even your dumb sarcasm. You helped me rediscover the love I deserved after love itself had cut my life short.
You gave me a piece of your heart when I thought mine was long gone.
So, please, don't cry or be hurt now that I'm gone. Keep living for me. Paint your dreams for me. Live every day fully and beautifully, even if I'm not there, I'll always be with you. In the white lilies you paint, in the sunsets you watch, in the moments when you think you're alone. You're never alone.
I'm sorry I didn't wish you goodbye, I was terrified that... that once you said goodbye to me and I saw those tears, I wouldn't be able to leave without begging fate to let me stay with you. I'm sorry for lying to you.
But... If there comes a time where we're granted a second life, a second chance once again, where our paths meet once more... please fall in love with me again, because I know I would fall in love with you over and over again. so please promise one day in the possible future, you'll fall in love with me once more.
I'll love you forever and always, thank you for giving me a second chance at life once again.
See you later, Gyu.
~ Tyun <3
By the time he reached the end of the letter, Beomgyu's vision was blurred with heavy tears that streamed down his face. His breath trembling loudly as he immediately gripped the paper tighter, staring at it in disbelief.
He reread the words over and over again, unable to process any other thought.
It wasn't until his body began to wrack with sobs that he could no longer hold back, loud screams echoing out within the house as he collapsed onto his knees, the lily trembling in his other hand as he gripped it tightly. His heart aching with a bittersweet mix of grief and love, even regret.
I should be content now. I should be ready to move on without regrets, all of them were fulfilled... except a new one that I just can't shake, and it's the reason I'm writing this.
That regret... is that I never got to properly tell you that I love you.
He loved him.
Taehyun loved him.
He couldn't tell him that he loved him back.
Beomgyu began to sink to the kitchen floor, the letter and lily pressed close to his heart as the reality of Taehyun's absence settled over him. The tears unable to stop as his loud sobs turned into shaky breaths, but there was a flicker of warmth, a quiet comfort.
Just like how Taehyun gave him a second chance at inspiration, he had given him a second chance at life.
And even if he couldn't tell him, even if he was too late, he knew he would fall in love with Taehyun again.
I promise. He breathed in, trying to hold back his tears. I promise I'll fall in love with you again, Taehyun.
Beomgyu tilted his head back, closing his eyes tightly as he let the tears fall — his heart aching so badly it was becoming unbearable.
but he knew... at least he was happy now.
"I love you too," He whispered, his voice breaking. "I love you too, Taehyun."
click.
Soobin furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes widening in shock when he saw how beautiful the house looked now. It shocked him to see that it wasn't on the brink of collapsing anymore.
The cracked windows were shining brightly, new and polished and the walls looked better. The whole front of the house was beautiful as well, with large areas of... white lilies grown or blooming peacefully — making his eyes widen.
He knew its been a few days since he visited Beomgyu, but he never expected that the house could be transformed so... quickly in just a few days.
Maybe him moving here wasn't so bad.
Soobin smiled softly, content that his younger brother was slowly becoming happier, he could see it as well. Maybe he finally found something that brought his spark back.
However, he was a bit concerned. Usually, he would text Beomgyu when he was coming over, that he would give him a heads up and ask if he wanted to eat anything, and he would usually get a brief reply — but today? He didn't get anything.
Soobin sighed softly, furrowing his eyebrows when he saw that Beomgyu hadn't even left him on read. It was concerning him.
He quickly walked up to the front of the house, passing by the white lilies that were blooming beautifully, swaying slightly in the wind as he knocked on the door. Waiting a few minutes for him to answer.
Five minutes turned into ten. Ten into fifteen.
Alright, what the hell, Gyu.
Soobin furrowed his eyebrows, becoming more concerned by the minute as he looked down at the door knob, hesitantly wrapping his hand around it as he twisted it with ease, shocked to discover that this entire time the door had been unlocked — well, he's a dumbass.
"Beomgyu?" He called out right away once he entered the house, looking around in confusion.
The house seemed more warm on the inside, unlike the shivering cold he had felt way before, maybe the younger had finally bought a heater! The entire house looked neat and tidy though, completely transformed on the inside which looked more cozier and livable. It had less creepy energy vibes to it as well.
Soobin hummed softly, wondering where the hell his brother could be since he hadn't answered his phone nor his call.
"Gyu?" Soobin said a little louder this time, looking around before he looked upstairs and saw faint light illuminating down the hallway.
The art room?
Soobin's eyes widened slightly, was he... painting?
A rush of pride and joy ran through him, could it be? His little brother was finally taking a step up and painting again?
He couldn't help but feel proud.
Soobin quickly ascended up the stairs, careful not to rush and startle Beomgyu since he knew he would start yelling at him if he had startled him and mess his painting process up.
The closer he approached the art room, the more he saw Beomgyu inside, focusing closely and quietly on the painting he was working on. Slowly opening the door more as his eyes landed on the new murals on the wall, his breath hitching.
He hadn't really stepped into the art room at all when he visits, he wanted Beomgyu to have his private sanctuary so he could focus and heal again, and he was so damn glad he didn't bother him.
His eyes landed one by one on every new painting hung up on the wall. The one painting that looked like a field of white lilies, the one that had a night sky and constellations on them, the one that had fireworks and two figures sitting below, and one that had a grand stage and piano.
They were all different, so new, and beautiful.
Beomgyu had gotten his spark again, because these paintings spoke more emotions than anything he's ever painted.
He soon looked over towards the male who was too busy focusing on the new painting he was working on, slowly approaching him as he stood behind — taking a glimpse at what he was painting.
"Beomgyu," Soobin spoke up softly, watching the male wince — but then, he noticed something more. His eyes were red and puffy, his face flushed a light shade of pink, and his lips were chapped. "Have you been crying...?"
Beomgyu paused when he had asked that question, glancing over towards his brother with an unreadable expression before he shook his head, a small smile on his lips.
"Just allergies."
Allergies? Soobin raised an eyebrow. He doesn't have any allergies.
He noticed how hoarse the males voice was, as if he had used it all night for screaming or something, and he could see the visible exhaustion in his eyes — but there was something more, something along the lines of content and relief, satisfaction and hope, and it made his chest tighten.
Something had happened, but he won't push him.
Soobin decided to look around once again, turning over towards the table where he saw the glass vase with nine white lilies in them, most of them withering slowly but there was one in the center that was practically glowing, catching his attention.
It wasn't until he looked back at the canvas Beomgyu was working on, his eyes widening when he finally realized what he was painting.
On the canvas was a boy who had his back facing the person, yet he was looking back over his shoulder with a wide smile that it looked unreal. He had black hair that fell down to his shoulders, a face sculpted so beautifully he looked unreal, and those eyes... though they were scrunched, it was like they held constellations in them, every single detail was ethereal, unreal and so beautiful.
This couldn't be someone Beomgyu made up, this had to be a person.
He's never seen Beomgyu paint anyone so beautifully, so clearly, and filled with tiny details.
This boy, whoever he was, clearly meant everything to him.
Beomgyu's expression confirmed it. His gaze was soft yet unwavering as he worked, his grip on the paintbrush steady and deliberate. Each stroke seemed imbued with care and attention, as though he were trying to capture something far beyond just an image.
The painting radiated emotion, so much that Soobin could feel it pressing against his chest. He didn't have the words to describe them all, but one stood out clearly: admiration.
He was honestly speechless, he felt shocked to see something so new... so beautiful, this new spark of motivation that Beomgyu somehow gained was stronger than anything else he had before.
And for a minute, he was silent, but the question began to bubble in his mind. Beomgyu was painting a boy he had never met before, someone who he had never seen, with so much care and affection it felt unreal.
"Beomgyu," Soobin spoke up softly, taking a step forward as he gently placed a hand on his brother's shoulder. "Who is this?"
Beomgyu paused. The air grew still as if the world itself had stopped moving. For a long time, he didn't respond, his brush hovering above the canvas. Slowly, he set his art supplies down and tilted his head slightly, his eyes locked on the painting.
The way his expression shifted made Soobin's heart clench. There was a softness there, an almost painful warmth in the way Beomgyu looked at the boy in the painting, as if he were staring at a memory he couldn't bear to let go.
There was silence, just for a brief moment until Beomgyu finally sighed, slowly looking up towards Soobin with a smile he had never seen before, one filled with gratitude and love for this very person — and with warmth in his voice, he finally answered the question.
"Someone my heart belongs to."
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ⋆✴︎˚。⋆
inspired by supernatural - ariana grande
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