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Ch 17: Reason to Live

It's dinner time at the Hatake household and it's quiet. Too quiet.

Sakumo brings a spoonful of soup to his mouth, savoring the taste. Wow, this soup is so good. He smiles to himself. He's so lucky his son is such a great cook. He looks over at his son, silently observing him.

It is just the two of them tonight and it's pretty boring. The two Hatake have grown used to Obito's presence being there. But now that he isn't there with them tonight, it just feels empty.

"So.. why isn't Obito coming over tonight?" he asks.

Kakashi swirls a spoon around in his bowl, playing with the chunks of eggplant floating in the soup. "He's busy today. Community service thing."

Sakumo chuckles, "Of course. That Obito is always doing things for others. He's a good boy. I really like him."

Kakashi nods. "Yup. Obito is truly something else."

The silence permeates the room once more. Only the sounds of spoons swirling in ceramic bowls break up the silence.

Sakumo studies Kakashi, mulling his thoughts. "So... Have you told him yet?"

Kakashi takes a bite out of an eggplant chunk. "No, I haven't."

Sakumo continues to watch him. "You know Kakashi, you've been alone a long time. I know I'm part of the reason for that. And I'm very sorry."

"Don't worry about it, Dad. I'll always take care of you." Kakashi says simply.

"That's the thing," Sakumo says, his voice concerned, yet stern. "I love you, son. But, you're not supposed to be taking care of me. You're wasting your life away. And I don't want you to."

Kakashi wearily shakes his head, "Not this again, Dad." He gets up to put his dishes in the sink, turning around to face away from his dad. As he's walking away from the table, he looks down and notices his hand is trembling. He clenches his fist to keep his hand steady.

He hears his dad speak up behind him. "Yes. But this time... is different."

Kakashi pauses. What?

"I've been getting pretty selfish these past few months. I've been preoccupied with my own sorrows and I was ignoring yours," Sakumo says, voice steady.

Kakashi turns around to look at his dad, brows knitting together. What's going on?

"Dad, what are you saying?" says Kakashi.

Sakumo smiles impassionately looking at his son. "I've changed my mind. I want to be here and watch you grow up."

Kakashi's heart clenches in his chest. He can hardly believe what his father is saying. Is he saying... he wants to live?

Kakashi brings his hand up to rub his eyes. He's not going to cry. "Quit messing around, dad."

"Why would I mess around about this?" Sakumo says.

Kakashi glances up once more at his father. Sakumo is looking at him with sadness in his eyes. Or is it guilt?

"I've been a terrible father to you these past few years." Sakumo says, his eyes filled with sorrow. "I've come to rely on you too much. And I took you for granted. I can't believe I let that happen. I'm so very sorry."

Kakashi continues to stare at his father. He is utterly speechless. Seeing his father like this, he isn't sure what to do.

Sakumo looks him in the eyes, earnesty clear on his face. He smiles serenely. "I think now it's time I quit my moping and notice you."

Kakashi shuts his eyes, feeling his body begin to shake. It felt like something within him, something that he's been keeping locked up tight, was about to break.

Tears in his eyes now, Sakumo keeps going. "I want to watch you live out your life. I want to watch you go places, make friends, and meet someone who is good for you. I want to be here for all of it."

Kakashi reaches up his hand again and uses his fingertips to rub his eyes. There is an aching feeling behind them, thats hurting to be released. It's a feeling, he's not used to.

He looks up once more at his father, eyebrows knitting together forcefully. And the expression he sees on his father's face is one of deep love and reassurance.

That's it. His father is going to stay.

Suddenly overcome with emotion and unable to stop himself anymore, Kakashi lets himself go. Tears well up in his eyes, release washing over him. With a cry of relief, he lets the tears fall freely as he goes over to his father and hugs him with all his might.

Sakumo wraps his arms around his son, embracing him tightly. "No matter what you choose to do next year, I want you to know... I support you either way. You don't have to worry about me anymore. I'll get the help I need from the family. We'll work things out."

Kakashi is a mess now. His body doesn't stop trembling, his breath keeps hitching. Kakashi cries. Really cries. He feels stuck in a state of overwhelmed emotions. He can't help but let himself cry it all out.

They embrace each other. Holding on to each other like they haven't truly embraced in a long time. Kakashi felt so relieved. So happy. He could finally breathe a full breath of air.

It felt like a gigantic weight, that's been on his shoulders weighing him down for so long, was finally demolished and falling away into pieces.

_____

A/N: In this fic, Sakumo will live. No way am I taking Kakashi's father away from him. Nooo wayyy! DX

This is a short chapter, but very important. It was quite interesting to write, actually. I wanted to convey Kakashi changing from someone who hides his emotions, to finally being set free.

Now that Kakashi is free of his emotional troubles, let's see what happens. :-)

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