When Calina woke up the next morning, Matt's side of the bed was empty and cold.

But she soon figured out why - a quick check of his bedside clock revealed it wasn't the morning at all. It was just after 1pm.

She'd slept for over 10 hours.

10 hours!

For an insomniac like Calina, that was unheard of.

She shook her head in wonder and scooted off the bed. She raised her arms above her head, then bent forward, planting her hands on the floor beside her feet. She groaned as the yoga move worked the kinks from her joints and stretched her aching muscles.

Then she checked her left knee. The swelling had gone down but there was still a bit of pain on weight-bearing.

Nothing she couldn't handle. Overall...she felt good. Whether it was from the extended rest, the knowledge that Volkov was gone, or the fact that she was back in Matt's apartment again...didn't really matter. The point was, she felt good. Life was good.

She had her freedom, her health and a man who loved her - despite all common sense and reason on his part.

Calina padded out into the living room to find the man in question sitting at the small dining table, sipping on a cup of coffee.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he greeted her.

She laughed softly. "Hi. Have you been up long?"

"A while. I had some errands to run - mainly getting us some food so we don't starve this weekend."

Calina laughed again and took the seat across from him. She rested her elbow on the table and breathed in the smell of the rich coffee beans.

Matt seemed to notice. "The pot's fresh - let me get you some." He got to his feet and started filling another mug.

"Thank you," Calina replied. She watched him at the kitchen counter with a small smile on her lips. She'd always loved watching him in his apartment - the sure way he manoeuvred around the space and his obvious comfort in being able to move freely. It was the place he was most allowed to be himself... apart from the rooftops of Hell's Kitchen, of course.

Moments later, he handed her the mug, and their fingers brushed as he did so...causing him to snatch his hand away quickly, as if burnt.

Calina's smile dropped. "Is everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. Fine. Just an electric shock."

Calina let it go, but studied him over the rim of her cup as she took a sip of her drink. On closer inspection, he didn't look as comfortable as he usually did. There was a tension in his shoulders, a subtle tightening of his frame, and as he flitted around the kitchen again she got the impression he was just trying to keep busy.

To avoid sitting next to her.

You're being paranoid, she told herself. They were good. He'd forgiven her, told her he loved her, and held her in his arms as she'd fallen asleep.

They were good.

As Matt started making them lunch, she put down her coffee and joined him in the small kitchen. "Let me help," she said. "I haven't had a chance to cook in ages."

"I wouldn't call putting together a grilled cheese sandwich 'cooking'," he replied. "I think I can manage."

The words were said in a teasing tone, his voice warm and light. But as she came up beside him, her shoulder brushing his, she saw his hand tighten around the knife, his knuckles going white.

"Go sit down and relax," he suggested, trying to put space between them again.

Calina frowned, and felt her stomach drop. Something was wrong. Did he regret what he'd said outside the hospital? Did he regret bringing her home with him?

She remembered telling him before she fell asleep that she hadn't added to her body count last night in the warehouse. She'd wanted to reassure him. To eradicate any unease that he might be feeling about the situation. But had she done the opposite instead? Had she just reminded him of why they'd had that big argument in the first place? Had he realised that he couldn't get over it? What if he-

"Hey," Matt said, dropping the knife and grabbing her hand. "Calina, what's wrong? Why did your heart just start racing?"

She took a deep breath, trying to get her reactions under control, then turned his question back on him. "What's wrong with you? Why are you acting strange this morning?"

"I'm sorry," Matt sighed, letting go of her hand - which did nothing to ease Calina's fears. She braced herself for his rejection. For the words he would say next:

I made a mistake.

I can't be with you.

"It's taking all of my will power not to throw you up against the wall and bury myself inside of you."

Calina froze, his unexpected admission throwing her for a loop. When his words finally sank in, she burst out laughing. "I- I thought you were breaking up with me! Again!"

"No! Why would you think that?"

"It doesn't matter," she said, stepping close to him and winding her arms around his waist. "Let's go back to that wall thing, again. Because I'd be on board for that."

Matt laughed, but gently extracted himself from her hold. "I would love to - really, you have no idea how much - but I think we need to take things slow between us."

He slid his hand down to grasp hers and led her back into the living room. They took a seat on the couch, both twisting to face each other. He kept her hand in his and stroked the back of it with his thumb as he continued, "I've been thinking about it all morning. If we rush back to where we were before all this happened, we might not make the effort to...fix...the problems between us. And I want to fix them. I want this to work, Calina."

"I do too," she replied in a small voice. She was on a rollercoaster again - she'd swung from happiness, to fear, to relief, in quick succession in the short time she'd been awake. And now she was back to fear. Because the serious way Matt was addressing these 'problems' made them sound worryingly difficult to overcome.

"Okay. Good," he said. "Then I think we should get all of our issues out on the table. Hash them all out, and agree a way forward."

"How very lawyer-ly," Calina tried to joke.

Matt winced. "Sorry. That sounded more clinical than it was supposed to." He seemed to notice her growing discomfort. He squeezed the hand he was holding and used his free hand to cup her cheek. "Hey, sweetheart, don't be scared. This is good. This is...healthy." He gave her a wry smile. "Which is a new thing for me."

"This is all a new thing for me," Calina said, starting to relax a bit. Matt's reassurance was working. If this was what a healthy relationship entailed, she'd go with it.

She wanted them to last too.

"I know it is, Callie," he said softly. "Which is one of the reasons I think we need to take this slow. You need to get used to being in a relationship. To experience all the things you missed out on. We skipped over a lot of important 'firsts'."

"Like what?"

"Like a first date, for one thing."

Calina laughed. "Oh."

Matt smiled. "Yeah.'Oh'. We went from friendly neighbours to living together practically overnight. Then all of a sudden we were in a long distance relationship. And I don't regret any of that...but now we have time to catch up on all of the things we missed."

"Okay. That sounds good. But I have a feeling that's not the main 'problem' you were talking about."

"No." Matt took a deep breath. "I need...to learn to trust you again."

"Oh." This time, Calina's 'Oh' held a very different meaning. There was a mountain of regret, and shame and remorse all rolled up in that one little syllable.

Matt heard it, and squeezed her hand again. "You lied to me, sweetheart. And I understand why you felt you had to. But, I've had a lifetime of people lying to me. And its made me...overly sensitive to it." The last line was said with a smile, as if trying to let her off the hook.

But Calina didn't want to be let off. "Don't do that," she told him. "Don't make excuses for the way you feel. I know I hurt you. And made you angry. You had a right to feel that way. The fact that you've been lied to, and betrayed before, just means that your trust is a precious thing. And I'm so sorry I broke it."

Calina could feel tears gathering in her eyes but hastily blinked them away. She didn't want to make this about her, and her feelings. The important thing was to try to reassure Matt that she took this seriously. "I swear to be honest from now on," she said. "I won't waste this second chance. When I thought it was over between us-" Despite her best efforts, she started to get choked up, and couldn't finish the sentence.

Not that she knew what to say, anyway. She couldn't really express how devastated the thought of not being with Matt made her. He'd become such a part of her. All those empty spaces in her soul that the Red Room had gouged out, he'd filled with his love.

She felt complete when she was with him.

Matt pulled her into his arms and held her tight. "Hey, it's okay. We're okay. It was never over between us. It never will be. But you need to start believing that Calina. You gave up on us too easy - and not for the first time."

She pulled away to study his face. "What do you mean?"

"After that misunderstanding in the bar all those months ago, you just vanished. You ran away back to the Widows and wouldn't talk to me. And you did the same again this time - you didn't answer your phone-"

"That wasn't on purpose, I swear. I didn't know you were calling me."

"But you didn't think to check. And you didn't think to call me either. You didn't fight for us. At the first sign of trouble, you assume the worst and just...give up. You run away and shut me out, and it drives me crazy, Calina. I constantly feel like you're slipping through my fingers. That with one wrong move you'll disappear from my life forever."

"I'm sorry," she said, the tears flowing freely now.

He wiped them away, his voice so gentle and full of affection. "I'm sorry too, sweetheart - I didn't mean to hurt you, but I had to let you know. I need for us to work through these things together. To keep talking to each other, no matter how hurt or angry we are."

"I can do that."

"Good." He smiled at her, and tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'm going to finish making us lunch. Why don't you have a shower and freshen up."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Is that your tactful way of telling me that my foul odour is overloading your heightened senses?"

He laughed. "No, you smell amazing. Just like always." To prove it, he brought her wrist up to his nose and breathed deeply, closing his eyes in obvious pleasure. His tongue flicked out of his parted lips, stealing a taste of her skin.

That small touch - the almost primal nature of it - ignited something in Calina. Liquid heat flood her core, and she squeezed her thighs together, biting her bottom lip at the sensation that pulsed through her body.

"When you bite your lip like that, it makes me want to bite your lip like that." Matt's words rumbled between them, deep and laden with hunger.

"Why don't you?" Calina challenged, her voice breathy.

Matt placed his open mouth against her wrist, teasing her with the barest hint of sharp teeth against tender skin. A beat passed, and Calina held her breath, wondering if he was about to give in to the power of this moment, to the hunger between them...

But then he wrestled himself back under control. The hard edge of teeth was replaced by a gentle kiss, and he placed her hand back on her lap. "We're taking it slow, remember?" His voice was back to normal, and she cursed his ability to master his body in that way. To deny himself what they both obviously wanted.

It had been over a week since the night she'd snuck into his bedroom and they'd made love. She was desperate to experience that closeness with him again. To experience that kind of pleasure again...

But it was a selfish wish on her part.

Matt needed to take things slow in order to trust her again - and she wanted that above all else.

So she'd go slow.

She was capable of as much self-control as he was.

———

Matt's self control was hanging on by a thread.

And he knew he couldn't be in the same apartment when Calina started her shower - just the idea of her being naked a few feet away, the water cascading over her soft skin...

It was too much.

So when she entered the bathroom...he fled to the roof.

Emerging out into the open, he breathed deeply, allowing the fresh spring air to cleanse his senses of Calina's heady, intoxicating scent, and letting the noise and hum of the city distract him from what might be happening just one floor below.

Because he did want them to slow down.

As much as he wanted to race downstairs, wrench open that bathroom door and join her in the shower, this was the more sensible option.

He knew himself too well. He knew that he could so easily get lost in the passion of their renewed relationship, and ignore the warning signs and the problems simmering under the surface. It was a lesson he'd learned the hard way with Elektra. The dark thrill and obsession of those first few months with her had almost ruined his life.

And while this thing with Calina was so much more healthy and light and positive, he still didn't want to risk glossing over their issues. He wanted to address them, so they could move forward as a rock-solid couple, able to handle anything.

Because he was in this for the long haul.

He rested his elbows on the stone parapet of the rooftop and smiled as he pictured the future spanning out in front of him. A future with Calina by his side, as they grew ever closer and more committed to each other.

He even got a flash of a diamond ring on her finger...and it didn't freak him out.

Maybe he'd just reached that age where settling down felt natural. Or maybe he was just that certain that Calina was the one. Either way...he wasn't freaked out.

Which would freak Foggy out when he told him. Matt's smile widened as he imagined Foggy's reaction to all this - he'd been teasing Matt for years about his playboy lifestyle and the parade of women he'd been involved with.

But it was time for Matt to grow up. He didn't need a parade. He just needed one.

Calina.

Though speaking of parades...Matt cocked his head and listened to the sound of revellers making their way up 5th avenue. Even from several blocks away, Matt could clearly hear the bagpipes and drums and the marching gait of hundreds of people as they celebrated the occasion.

It was St Patrick's Day, and the Irish faithful of New York were out in full force.

Matt suddenly remembered the sarcastic joke he'd made last month - about how Calina was bound to show up on St Paddy's day, given it was the most romantic day of the year.

It looked like he was right after all.

He chuckled to himself as he headed back down to the apartment. The faint vibration of the water rushing through the pipes of his apartment had stopped a few minutes ago, which meant it was probably safe to return.

Casting his senses out as he trekked down the stairs, he found Calina sitting on the edge of his bed, wearing nothing but a baggy T-shirt. The soft cotton material billowed around her slender arms as she dried her hair with a towel. Reaching the bedroom, he leaned against the doorframe and teased her about her choice of attire. "You're wearing my clothes again. Are you trying to drive me crazy?"

"Sorry, all my stuff is either across the hall or at the safe house."

He shook his head at her serious tone. "I was joking. It's fine. But we can head over there later if you want? To the safe house, I mean."

Calina nodded. "And I want to check in with Inessa too."

"It's a plan. Let me get lunch ready first - you must be starving."

She nodded again and went back to drying her hair. He paused on his way to the kitchen, trying to figure out what had changed with her. She suddenly seemed...withdrawn. The light and laughter was gone from her voice, and any hint of desire had been locked away.

Maybe she was just tired, the adrenaline come-down from the battle last night taking its toll. Or perhaps the enormity of everything was hitting her - she was finally free of her past and was literally starting a whole new life now.

Or maybe he'd said something to upset her. When they'd been discussing their relationship and his trust issues, maybe he'd been too harsh...

By the time he'd finished plating up the grilled cheese sandwiches, she was fully dressed and staring out of the stained glass panels of the living room window. She stood only a few feet away, but felt so distant.

"Calina," he called softly, placing the food on the table.

There was no reply. She was completely lost in thought, head tilted to the side as she tugged on her bottom lip.

Her stance exposed that spot on her neck, the one just below her ear that he loved. Her scent was different there. More potent, and somehow both earthier and sweeter. Before he could think twice, he padded up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and placed his lips against that patch of skin. He wanted to draw her back from wherever she was. Banish the air of anxiety that surrounded her.

He wanted her to melt back against him and smile.

But his kiss had the opposite effect. Calina jerked away as if electrocuted. She spun to face him, her hand pressed against that spot on her neck as she stared at him with wide eyes.

Matt held up his hands. "Sorry. Mixed signals. I keep saying I want to go slow, but I was just-"

"It's not that," she rushed to explain. "I- I..."

"What is it?"

Matt heard her heart start to race. She swallowed harshly and shifted her weight on her bare feet, her discomfort obvious even without his heightened senses.

"Calina?"

"I- I need to tell you something. Something you probably won't want to hear."

"What is it? You'e starting to scare me."

"I need to tell you what happened in Italy."