I'm a good person; I'm worthy of love.

I'm a good person; I'm worthy of love.

Those eight words became Calina's silent mantra. She recited them to the mirror as she brushed her teeth in the morning. She chanted them on her daily six-mile run. They were the soundtrack to her sparring matches with her sisters, and the echo she fell asleep to at night.

She hoped that if she repeated them often enough, the sentiment would start to penetrate.

And it was...maybe...starting to work.

Her guilt about Italy had definitely started to wane, at least - thanks to her talk with Katya. Somehow, the act of just voicing what she felt had helped lessen the sting of that particular emotion.

Which probably explained why so many people went to therapy.

Calina knew she'd probably benefit from a few sessions with a trained professional, but it wasn't exactly practical in their current situation. So in the meantime, she'd continue with her mantra and try to believe the words.

I'm a good person; I'm worthy of love.

The task to bring down Volkov was also helping. She and the other Widows took shifts surveilling the footage from the cameras planted in the Jersey warehouse, and the mind-numbing hours spent watching the black and white footage provided a nice distraction from her negative thoughts.

And then, less than a week later, they got the evidence they needed.

The whole group sat around the dining room table reviewing the scenes that Viktoria had alerted them to during her turn at the monitor. They watched as lab equipment and various chemicals were delivered to the property. They watched as men in protective coveralls sterilised volumetric flasks and set up distillation kits on newly constructed worktops. And they watched as soldiers in tactical gear started patrolled the site at night.

Volkov's operation was underway.

The mood around the table was less jubilant than expected. Even though they had the confirmation they wanted, the tangible proof of Volkov's plan for them was sobering.The chemicals being mixed and the serum being manufactured was meant for them. Meant to control them and subjugate them and turn them back into mindless killers.

"Can you turn it off, Anya?" Katya asked. "I think we've seen enough."

"Yeah," Sofia agreed. She rubbed her brow as if the footage had given her a headache.

Viktoria spoke up next, her voice equally as dispirited. "Okay, now that we know what's going on, what's our next step?"

Everyone looked to Yelena. She was seated at the head of the table, twirling one of her butterfly knives, her reaction to the video evident in the way she was flicking the dangerous weapon - as if imagining Volkov on the receiving end of the blade.

"I have an idea," she said. "But I'm not sure you're going to like it."

"What is it?" Calina asked.

"We wait."

"You're right. I don't like it." Inessa replied. "We have our proof. We need to raid the place and-"

"And what? Kill them all? Take them hostage?"

"Either's fine with me." That came from one of the newer members of the group - Sanvi. She was glaring at the paused video, her jaw clenched in anger.

"There's too much risk," Yelena responded. "We'll only get one shot at this before we lose our element of surprise."

"So what's the plan exactly?" Katya asked. "What are we waiting for?"

"We need Volkov. We need to wait until he's on site before we go in. If we take him down, this is all over. We'll be free."

"How can we be sure he'll show up?" Sanvi asked.

"Men like him are control freaks. They can only delegate for so long before they need to see for themselves that their plan is being followed. He'll show up - I'm sure of it. And when he does, we'll be there."

"We'll need to set up a base in Jersey," Anya added, working through the logistics.

"Yes," Yelena replied. "We'll need a team close-by and on-call for when the moment comes."

"I volunteer as tribute," Katya said, raising her hand. A few of the Widows laughed at her reference to the movie they'd watched the other night. And a few other hands went in the air as well.

Including Calina's.

Yelena eyed her critically. "You're not just using this as an excuse to be closer to Murdock, are you?"

Calina shook her head forcefully. "No. I want to be a part of this. I need to be a part of this."

She couldn't explain why she felt so strongly about joining this mission. Maybe it was her way of atoning for leaving before. She'd been content to try to build a life in New York while her sisters did the hard work of freeing other Widows. Katya may not regard that as abandonment, but Calina did. And she wanted to try to erase that bit of red from her ledger. Balance the bad with something good - like backing up her team during the last stages of their battle for freedom.

"Even if that involves killing Volkov or his men?" Yelena asked Calina. "You told me you couldn't take the violence anymore. I need to know the people on this team have the resolve to do whatever it takes."

Whatever it takes. Yelena's words were an eerie echo of Calina's thoughts from that early morning on the pier six weeks ago. Back then she'd sworn to herself that she would go to any lengths to gain her freedom and get back to Matt. That vow had been sorely tested by Italy - and she still felt there were some limits to 'whatever' - but they had to do this.

Volkov had to be taken down.

And if that included killing again...so be it. She would live with the consequences.

For this - for her freedom, for her sisters, and for her future - she would take on one more stain on her soul. She'd never forgive herself if she sat this mission out and someone got hurt...or worse.

"I can do it, Yelena." Calina held the other Widow's gaze, and let her see the determination in her eyes.

Yelena nodded. "Okay. Let's get to work."

The mansion became a whirlwind of activity as they put Yelena's plan in motion. A team of nine was selected to set up the base in Jersey. Anya found a property close enough to the warehouse for them to be able to mobilise in a hurry, but far enough away to give the Widows some cover. Weapons were gathered, transport was arranged, and gear was packed.

A few hours later, Calina stood in the doorway of her bedroom, a small suitcase at her feet and a bag slung over her shoulder. She surveyed the room, now devoid of any hint of her life here. There was no book on the bedside table. No running shoes shoved under the desk, and no necklace hanging over the mirror on the vanity table.

She'd miss this room, with its rustic charm and the view of the grey, churning water of the harbour. She'd miss the sound of the seagulls and the early morning calls of the fishermen.

She'd miss it...but she hoped she'd never have to return here.

She hoped this next mission would be the last, and that this would all be over soon.

She grabbed the hoodie draped over the edge of the bed - the last of her possessions to be packed away. She brought the fabric up to her nose, breathing in deep. She'd stolen it from Matt at Christmas, wanting a tangible memento of their wonderful night together, and it still retained a hint of his scent. Instead of shoving it in her bag, she slipped the oversized sweater on and tucked her hands into the long sleeves, feeling surrounded by him again.

She would see him soon.

She hadn't been lying to Yelena when she'd volunteered for this mission - it wasn't just an excuse to be nearer to Matt. But it was a side benefit she was definitely going to take advantage of.

She needed to know if she could face him again. She needed to know if her mantra had worked, and she could stand to be in his presence without feeling overwhelmed by guilt and fear.

She needed to know if there was hope for them.

———

Bang...bang.bang. Bang...bang.bang.

Matt stumbled out of his run across the rooftops as he picked up the sound of a familiar code.

Dash...dot.dot. Dash...dot.dot.

Calina's code. Her message to him. The beacon that had brought them together two weeks ago on the crane above the Hudson.

And now he was hearing it again. He froze and cocked his head, trying to pinpoint the faint metallic noise.

But there was just silence.

Had he hallucinated it? In his desperate desire to see her, was he imagining the sound of her call?

Bang...bang.bang. Bang...bang.bang.

He smiled as the code rang out again. Nope. Not his imagination.

She was here.

He took off running in the direction of the sound. Not near the docks this time, but further inland and to the south. He flew across the skyline of the city until he ended up on top of a luxury spa, the night air around him perfumed by aromatherapy oils and hot wax.

And the subtle fragrance of sea salt and strawberries.

Calina

She emerged from behind a large ventilation shaft and he could hear a shy smile in her voice as she greeted him. "Hi."

Matt didn't hesitate. There was no crane between them this time. No metal barrier to keep them apart, so he strode forward, took her in his arms and kissed her.

His intention must have been clear on his face because Calina didn't seem surprised by his sudden embrace. She just wound her arms around his neck and returned his kiss. It was a messy, hard and passionate kiss, with all of the frustrated longing of the last couple of weeks - the last couple of months - stoking the fire of it.

Matt may have come to terms with their separation, but he still missed her with each and every moment that passed.

And now that she was back within reach, he wanted her as close as possible. He tightened his hold on her and buried his fingers in the braids of her hair and slid his thigh between hers. The contact caused Calina to moan, and Matt swallowed the sound as his own lust ratcheted up in response.

He hitched her up into his arms, and used the air vent behind her to brace her weight. Her back hit the hollow structure with a clang, but neither of them seemed to notice. Matt sank into the cradle of her thighs, and Calina tightened her legs around his waist, as they kissed and kissed and kissed, their movements as they rocked against each other frenzied and almost desperate.

It was amazing...but it still wasn't enough to sate Matt's desires. He wanted her naked. He wanted her in his bed again, with days to worship her body and explore every inch of her skin. He wanted her on her back, he wanted her moving over him, he wanted to spend hours between her legs, and bring her to climax a million times.

He wanted everything with her.

But all they had was this. Stolen moments in the dark, high above the city.

He tilted Calina's head and deepened the kiss as he ground his hips against her core, unable to resist the sensation of the friction against his hardening cock. But then a harsh wail from a police siren rang out from the next block over, jolting Matt back to reality. He broke out of the kiss, breathing harshly in frustration.

This wasn't their time. And Calina deserved better than this place - a dirty concrete rooftop exposed to the prying eyes of the neighbouring apartments.

He trailed his lips across her cheek to bury his head in his favourite spot beneath her ear. "I'm sorry," he whispered into her neck.

"What for?" Calina answered, rubbing the exposed skin between his suit and his mask. "That was a hell of a welcome."

Matt laughed and tilted his head back. "Hi," he said, belatedly.

It was her turn to laugh. "Hi."

He dropped a quick kiss on the tip of her nose and stepped away from the vent, letting her slide to her feet. Then he took her in his arms again, reluctant to let her go completely.

"How long are you here for?" he asked, dreading the answer.

She sighed. "Not long. In fact, I should probably head back."

He looked away, trying to hide his disappointment. But she pressed her fingers to his cheek and turned his face back to her. "But I have good news," she said. "We're close to the end, Matt."

"Really?"

She nodded. "We've set a trap for Volkov - we're just waiting for him to walk into it."

"That's good," he said, squeezing her tighter to him. "That's really good."

"And there's more...," she teased.

"I'm not sure I can take any more good news. It's such an unfamiliar concept," he teased. "But hit me with it."

"The trap is...close by. So you'll be seeing me around more often."

"That really is good news." He dropped a kiss on her lips, and they spent long, lazy moments exploring each other's mouths, the world around them falling away as they basked in the luxury of being able to touch each other.

His duty to his city, the danger she was in being in New York, the possible prying eyes around them all vanished into insignificance as he held the woman he loved in his arms.

But inevitably - and all too soon - she ended the kiss and dropped her arms from around his shoulders.

"Time to go?" he guessed, catching her hand as she stepped away.

"Yeah," she said, the single word infused with so much sadness.

Matt remembered his vow from a couple of weeks ago - to not wallow in the despair of their parting, but to cherish the moments they managed to steal together. So he smiled at her, and pressed his lips to the back of her hand. "I'll see you around, then, sweetheart."

His positive outlook seemed to help Calina. Her sad, downcast eyes lifted to him, and she met his smile with one of her own. "Yeah. I'll see you around."

With a final squeeze of her hand, Matt turned and ran towards the edge of the rooftop. As he raced across the concrete, he flung one end of his billy club across to the adjacent building, using the weapon as a grappling hook. In one flowing movement, he launched himself off the edge and swung across the gap to land on the fire escape.

"Show-off!" he heard Calina shout from behind him.

He laughed at the now-familiar tease and started leaping up the metal staircase, his senses split between concentrating on his climb...and following Calina as she travelled in the opposite direction.

She flowed across the rooftops, her movements quick and graceful. And he had to resist the overwhelming urge to track her all the way back to her new base. To find out where she was staying and what this mysterious trap was.

It went against everything that made him the man he was to let her head into danger alone. He wanted to protect her. Or, at least, be a partner in her fight.

But that's exactly what it was - her fight.

Not his.

He had to trust that she could take care of herself. Trust that the other Widows would have her back. Trust that this would all be over soon and they would be together again.

It was a lot of trust for a man who struggled with the concept.

So he opted for a different concept - one he was much more familiar with.

Faith.

He had faith that she would come back to him - free and unharmed and ready for their life together.

———

"Three guesses where Calina was," Inessa teased when Calina returned to the safe-house.

Calina just rolled her eyes and collapsed onto the soft worn couch in front of the bank of monitors. They'd converted the entire top floor of a condemned apartment building into their new base, and were watching Volkov's warehouse 24/7 while waiting for his arrival.

The nine widows deployed to Jersey had decided to operate on a rotation system - alternating between surveillance duty, training, weapons maintenance and rest - to ensure everyone would be at peak fighting fitness when the time eventually came to engage.

Tonight Calina had decided to use her few hours of downtime to visit Matt.

And she was so glad she had.

She'd been so nervous waiting for him as she tapped out his code. As the clanging sound seemed to echo in the night air, her heart had raced with a mixture of excitement and trepidation.

What if, as soon as she locked eyes on him, all the guilt and self-loathing returned? What if they were just an impossibility now?

But she needn't have worried. The moment Matt landed on the rooftop and strode towards her, passionate intent evident in his every step, the trepidation disappeared. Everything suddenly felt so...right.

They were not an impossibility. They were an inevitability.

She was meant to be with him. No one could ever love him more. No one could ever want him more.

As he took her in his arms and kissed the life out of her, she felt nothing but an overwhelming sense of 'home'. For the first time in her life she truly understood the meaning of that concept.

Matt was her home. He was her safe haven, and the place she belonged.

Being with him quieted all her doubts and insecurities and fears. When he kissed her, she did feel worthy of his love. When he caressed her cheek and called her 'sweetheart', she knew she could make him happy. When he held her tightly against him, reluctant to let her go, she believed that all of the darkness in her soul and the misdeeds of her past could be forgiven.

Being with him wasn't the problem - it was the answer to everything.

It was only now, an hour later, when the heady warmth of their encounter had worn off and she was once again alone with her thoughts, that those doubts started to creep back in.

Which meant only one thing: she had to spend as much time with him as she could.