Halfway through updating Calina on the pheromone case, Matt realised she'd fallen asleep. She was still tucked against him as they lay on their sides, their legs entwined. Matt had been playing with the fingers of her hand while they filled each other in on the last three weeks, but now that hand was limp, and Calina's deep, even breaths stirred the air around him.

He smiled indulgently and kissed the top of her head, glad that she was able to get some rest. After stifling a yawn earlier, she'd admitted that she hadn't been sleeping well without him. "I was wide awake again at 5am this morning," she'd explained. "Then there was the four-hour ride to get here...it's all catching up with me."

"Four hours, huh?" It was the only clue she'd ever let slip about the location of the new Widow's base. Although it didn't exactly narrow things down. "Would that be four hours north, south or west of here?" he asked.

"Why? Are you planning to track me down and show up under my window with a boom box over your head?"

"What?"

"Oh, its from a romantic comedy we all watched recently. It came out in the eighties so I thought you might have seen it before your accident."

"Sweetheart, the only movies I was watching as a kid involved either Bruce Lee or spaceships."

"So no rom-coms, then."

"No. Although I'd watch one with you now - you could tell me what's happening on screen. I've missed hearing you describe the world to me."

"I've missed that too. I've missed talking with you, and reading to you, and being here in this apartment, just the two of us."

"Me too. It's not the same here now, without you. I've been avoiding the place, to be honest - I've spent most of my time either out as Daredevil or in the office working on the pheromone case."

"How's that going?" Calina asked, trying to suppress another yawn.

Matt should have known she wouldn't be able to stay awake while he talked through their progress - or rather, their lack of progress - in tracking down the people behind the pheromone drug. It wasn't exactly the most scintillating conversation topic for 3am.

Matt eased out of bed, careful not to wake Calina, and toed off his heavy boots. He gazed at her still, peaceful figure as he unzipped his suit jacket and shrugged out of his pants. He was looking forward to getting some sleep next to her - she wasn't the only one who'd been struggling with insomnia again - but a small part of him was disappointed that all they'd be doing is sleeping. That kiss earlier had started to heat up just before Calina's tears had gotten the better of her. It had made him hopeful for a replay of what had happened the last time they were in this bed together.

Or even something more.

But he never wanted to pressure her. He would take his cues from her and go at her pace, no matter how slow that might be.

They'd never really spoken in depth about her missions when she was a Widow. But the hints that she'd dropped over the past few months suggested that she'd been intimate with her targets - all while her will and choices had been subjugated by the mind control serum.

He could only imagine what that kind of violation would do to a person. And he didn't want to do anything that might remind her of that time.

The last time they were together, he hadn't been thinking clearly about that aspect of her past. He'd been too vulnerable, too caught up in his own fears. He'd latched on to her in the midst of the terror and uncertainty of his deafness, and he'd rushed them into an intimacy she might not have been ready for.

He knew she'd enjoyed it at the time. But he'd had a lot of time to reflect and consider things over the past few weeks, and he was determined that the next time she would be in the driver's seat. Whenever and wherever - and even if - they ever took things to the next level, it would be her decision.

He could wait. And in the meantime, he'd be happy just being able to hold her and kiss her and be with her.

Now dressed in just a pair of sweats, Matt crawled back into bed and did just that. He gathered Calina in his arms, dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose and smiled as she burrowed against his warmth.

This was enough.

He didn't need any more than this.

———

Calina needed more.

As much as she enjoyed waking up in Matt's arms feeling rested and refreshed...she needed more. She wanted more than just to sleep next to him.

She'd spent the last three weeks wishing she'd made love to Matt the last time they'd been together. Denying herself that intimacy hadn't made their separation any easier. If anything, the regret had made it harder.

She was determined this time would be different. She wanted to be with him in that way. She wanted them to take that next step.

She just wasn't sure...how to go about it.

She was feeling distinctly nervous.

She bit her lip as her eyes drifted over Matt's face, taking in his peaceful expression. The frown lines on his forehead had smoothed out, and his full lips were soft and parted. His cheeks were flushed with sleep, and the warmth of the covers they shared. The morning sunlight spilling into the room brought out the reddish tone of his dark hair and highlighted his ridiculously long eyelashes.

He was beautiful.

She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to run her fingers through his hair and pull him on top of her. She wanted them naked, skin-to-skin, with nothing left between them. She wanted to explore every inch of his body and feel him moving inside her.

But her shyness had returned with a vengeance. She couldn't seem to lift her hand to touch him. She couldn't bridge the distance between them to kiss him. All the seduction tricks she'd employed over the years as a Widow felt dirty and out of place in this bed.

But that was all she knew how to do - use people. Entice and entrap and manipulate.

She didn't know how to be with someone she loved.

In a very real sense, this would be her first time. And like a naive, virginal teenager she wanted it to be perfect. Special. She wanted this encounter to erase every other one she'd ever had. She wanted it to make her clean and pure again.

Which...was a lot of pressure. For both her, and the oblivious, sleeping man beside her.

Poor Matt. It wasn't fair to put this on him. It wasn't his responsibility to 'heal' her and make her whole. It wasn't-

"What deep thoughts are you thinking?"

The low rumble made Calina jerk in surprise. Her eyes flew to Matt's but his were still closed. His face was still relaxed and he hadn't moved a muscle...but there was now a slight curve to his lips. His tongue darted out to wet them before he spoke again, his voice deep and husky. "It's Christmas morning and we've had at least six hours of sleep - you're supposed to be happy and relaxed, not tense and stressed out."

"You caught that, huh?"

He tapped the tip of his nose. "Kinda hard to miss when I'm this close to you."

"Sorry."

His eyes fluttered open. "Don't be sorry. Talk to me. What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

———

"Nothing."

Matt had never heard a more dishonest word in his life. Either he was getting better at detecting Calina's lies, or she wasn't trying very hard to hide the truth this morning.

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and gave it a gentle tug in rebuke. "Calina..."

She sighed. "Yeah. Okay. Not nothing. Just...I'm overanalysing the situation, as usual. And I got in my head about it."

"Well that's not vague at all."

She laughed this time, and the sharp taste of cortisol in the air faded away, proof that she was feeling better. He smiled at her and continued to stroke his fingers through her hair. "Hey..."

"What?"

"Merry Christmas."

She smiled. "Merry Christmas to you."

He leaned forward and kissed her, loving the feel of her smile beneath his lips. He meant it as a simple gesture of 'hello' but, as it did every time they touched, the gravity of her pulled him in. The kiss deepened as he gathered her closer with a hand on her back. One of her legs slipped between his, and her thigh brushed against his morning erection.

She went still.

Worried that he was moving too fast, he angled his hips back and away from her. "Sorry," he mumbled into her mouth.

"No!" she cried.

Matt jolted in surprise. "Calina?"

She ducked her head and buried it against his chest, and he could sense the heat rising from her cheeks, as if she was embarrassed.

But why would she be embarrassed?

"Calina? What's wrong, baby?"

"I just...I want..." He heard her clench her jaw in frustration before letting out an annoyed, "UGH!"

He stifled his laughter. He didn't want to make light of her obvious struggles, but her irritation with herself was kind of cute. He stroked his hand over her hair. "Talk to me. You can tell me anything, you know that."

Calina took a deep breath. "Iwanttohavesexwithyou."

Matt frowned as he tried to interpret the rush of words. And when he finally did, his heart started pounding. The thumping beats reverberated in his chest, and he felt the echo in his cock as the blood rushed through the rapidly hardening organ.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

In answer, Calina leaned up and kissed him. And there was nothing embarrassed or shy in it. She pressed her lips against his firmly, and her tongue swept into his mouth with passion and confidence. It was as if finally voicing her desires had unlocked them, allowing them to run free.

Matt responded instantly. He grabbed the back of her head, his fingers gripping her hair, as he returned the kiss. His tongue warred with hers. He bit at her lower lip, and sucked it into his mouth. Then he attacked her neck, licking and nibbling and scraping the delicate skin with his teeth.

He tried to slow down. To gentle his approach. But it was as if his own hunger had been ignited by the force of hers.

And she met him step for step. Her fingers raked through his hair, tugging on the strands and sending sparks of pleasure through his nerve endings. She dragged her nails down his bare back. She hooked her leg over his hip and used it to pull him on top of her.

He went willingly, settling into the cradle of her thighs with his cock pressed against her core. Her legs wrapped around his waist, squeezing him closer as she rocked her pelvis against his. He moaned at the friction, and felt her lips against his neck curve in satisfaction.

Helpless to resist, he thrust against her. Her breath hitched in response, and it was his turn to smile. They started moving, their lower bodies working in tandem to bring them both to the edge as they panted and moaned against each other's skin.

But Matt forced himself to stop. He didn't just want a repeat of last time. He wanted more.

And he knew Calina did too, despite her groan of protest.

"Shh, it's okay," he murmured, lifting himself up onto his knees. "I want to feel you against me. All of you."

———

Calina tried to calm her racing heart as Matt pulled her up off the pillow until she was sitting in front of him, her legs between his spread thighs. She'd gotten carried away by all the sensation - the weight of his strong body, his hard length rocking against her, the delicious things he was doing with his lips and tongue...

But she was glad he'd stopped when he had. She wanted them to take their time. She wanted to savour this, and remember every moment of it.

And she wanted what he wanted - the feel of naked skin on naked skin.

She lifted her arms as he slipped her t-shirt over her head. He threw the top onto the floor then his hands returned to her body. He glided his fingers over the material of her bra, and she cursed herself for wearing plain cotton lingerie today of all days. But she'd left Maine in a hurry and had figured that, without his sight, Matt wouldn't care about sexy underwear.

But she should have taken his sense of touch into account. Next time, she'd chose something more stimulating for him - satin or lace, or something with complicated straps...

"You good?" Matt asked, his voice soft and gentle. His hands had paused at the closure of her bra, and he must have been wondering why her attention had drifted.

She decided to tell him the truth. She didn't want him to think she was anything but 100% invested in this. "I was, um, regretting my choice of bra."

He chuckled, as his clever fingers unhooked her strap. "Don't. I'm much more interested in what's underneath." As if to prove his point, he quickly removed the garment and tossed it aside.

But he didn't touch her exposed skin. Instead, he took her face between his hands and kissed her. A gentle, careful kiss. The sweetness of it, the reverence she could feel, brought a tear to her eye. Matt kissed away the moisture and lay her back on the pillow. Then he scooted down the bed and brought his hands to the top of her sweats.

He looked up at her, and she could read the question on his face - Is this okay?

His constant checking for consent made her fall in love with him even more. She didn't know if he was always this solicitous in bed, or he was accommodating her...unique...history, but either way it made her feel so cherished. And the control he was handing over to her - the ability to stop this whole encounter with a word - was a potent aphrodisiac.

This was already better than every other experience she'd ever had, and they both still had their pants on.

She wanted that rectified. Now.

So in answer to his question, she lifted her hips. He grinned and hooked his fingers in the waistband and slowly, slowly dragged the material down her legs. The same silent check and consent played out with her underwear, until they were a scrap on the floor and she was naked beneath him.

And that's when he finally touched her.

At first, it was a barely-there glide of his fingers over her skin, the soft strokes leaving a trail of shivers behind. Then his hands spread out and he ran them all over her body, as if mapping the shape of her. The curve of her breasts, the hard peaks of her nipples, the flare of her waist and the sensitive spot behind her knees...no inch was left untouched.

Except the throbbing spot between her legs.

The ache in her core deepened with every caress of his hands, until it started to overwhelm her senses. Calina clenched her thighs together, trying to ease the growing pressure.

But Matt caught the movement. With a chiding "Uh-uh," he grabbed her thighs and spread them apart, intensifying the desperate emptiness inside her. He repositioned himself between her legs and leaned over her to kiss her neck.

Calina tipped her head back on a reflex, while her lower body writhed against the hard mass of his body, searching in vain for some relief. "Please," she begged, twisting the bedsheets at her sides.

"Just a little while longer, I promise," Matt replied. "I need to taste you first."

Calina gasped at the imagery of Matt's clever, agile tongue following the path of his hands...then moaned as it became a reality. He teased and tortured her for what seemed like hours, slowly dragging his mouth over and along the length of her body. He kissed a path down her chest and painted her nipples with liquid heat. He nibbled at her hip bone, and pressed gentle kisses to the fluttering skin of her belly.

Then his mouth dipped lower...

The first stroke of his tongue against her clit shot through her like a firework. Her back arched off the bed and her strangled groan filled the room. She didn't care how shameless she sounded. She didn't care that a constant stream of pleading words were flowing from her lips...all she cared about was the mouth between her legs.

Matt licked and sucked at the moisture now bathing her upper thighs. He let out his own moan and the hands holding her hips in place dug into her soft flesh. "God, you taste amazing," he rumbled. He stabbed his tongue into her opening, and the merest hint of being filled shot Calina's desire into the stratosphere. Her whole body tightened. She could feel her toes curl and her hold on the bedsheets became a death-grip as the need inside her built and built until it was almost painful.

Then Matt wrapped his lips around her clit and it was all over.

She came with a half-sob, half-cry and collapsed back onto the mattress. Aftershocks pinged through her body as Matt continued to nuzzle against her, his mouth gentler now as he guided her back down to earth.

She let out a shuddering breath and flung her arm over her eyes, overcome by the intensity of what she'd just experienced.

"You okay?" Matt asked as he moved up the bed to rest beside her.

Calina laughed at the absurdity of his question. She'd never be okay again.

She turned to burrow against his warmth. "Yes. Thank you," she whispered.

He slung an arm around her. "Believe me, it was my pleasure," he laughed.

But the sound of it was slightly stilted, and there was a hitch in his breath. She felt a tension in his body as he held her close and she realised he was still...unsatisfied.

She wanted him to feel what she did. She wanted to give him the same explosive pleasure. She pushed him onto his back and reached up to kiss him, loving the exotic taste of herself on his tongue. She gripped his hair with one hand, and used the other to tilt his jaw where she wanted it.

She made it clear with her touch that it was her turn now.

Matt seemed more than happy to relinquish the lead. He let her direct the kiss, and when her lips moved down to his neck, he tilted his head back to give her more access. When her hands moved to the waistband of his sweats, he followed her move from before and lifted his hips from the bed to help her along.

She eased the bands of his pants and boxers over the steel length of his erection then quickly discarded his clothing until he was bare before her.

She gazed at his body, and licked her lips. She wanted to run her hands and lips all over him, the same way he'd done to her. But first she just stared, enjoying the sight of him laid out like a greek God in repose.

The strong winter sunshine flooding the room illuminated him in all his glory. The light bathed him, touching upon every contour of muscle and glinting off the pearlescent lines of his scars.

He was so beautiful.

She placed her hand on his neck, just over the notch of his collarbone and dragged it down the centre of his chest, down his ridged abdomen, down until her wrist just nudged against his hard cock. The friction drew a low masculine noise from deep in his throat and the sound went directly to her core, causing it to pulse in response.

She repeated the glide of her hand, then set about mapping his body the way he'd done to her, charting the terrain of his muscles with her fingers and her lips, and teasing him they way he'd teased her.

After long, long minutes of torture, she finally reached his cock. She paused over him, letting him feel her panting breaths against the sensitive tip. Every inch of Matt was still, every muscle taut, as he waited for her next move.

He jerked in surprise when she suddenly took the head in her mouth. She swirled her tongue around it, loving the sounds he made in response - hungry male sounds that made her feel sexy and powerful.

But just as she dipped her head to take more of his length, he wrenched her off him and flipped her onto her back. She started to protest, "I wanted to-," but he cut her off.

"I know. Next time. Later. I gotta be inside you." His accent was rougher, his voice raspy with desire as he crawled over her. "Condom. In the drawer-"

He made a move towards the bedside cabinet next to her, but she stopped him and shook her head."We don't need that."

"Sure?"

She was clean - endless testing in the Red Room confirmed that - and she knew he was too, due to some very intrusive hacking by Anya. And birth control was...not a concern. Not wanting to get into all that, she just nodded. "Sure."

He nodded in return, then settled himself over her and kissed her.

Although calling it a kiss was like calling a hurricane a light breeze.

He devoured her. His mouth moved over hers with an urgent need as his heavy weight trapped her in place. He grasped her neck, the large hand spanning her throat as he held her in place.

There was no softness to him now. No gentleness. Just dangerous, hard strength.

But she'd never felt safer.

She yielded to him. Relaxed beneath him and spread her legs to allow him closer. And to give him that last bit of wordless consent.

She felt the blunt end of his cock line up with her opening, and then he entered her. The sharp thrust surprised a gasp from her. The sound seemed to penetrate the haze of his lust, and he paused, the thick length of him buried deep within her. "Calina?"

She hitched her legs higher on his waist and adjusted to the feel of him inside her. "I'm good. I'm good."

To prove just how good she was feeling, she squeezed around his girth. He moaned, and she smiled at the sound.

"Not fair," he ground out from between clenched teeth. "I'm so close."

She smoothed his hair back from his face and spread her hands over his shoulders. She could feel the tension in his frame as he tried to hold back.

But she didn't want him to hold back. She wanted him to go wild.

"Let go, Matt. Just let go," she whispered, clenching around him one more time.

Her permission was all he needed. He pulled back his hips then snapped them forward again. She absorbed the impact with a moan, then moved with him as he established a frantic rhythm. His unfocussed eyes burned with intense need as he thrust into her. She kept up her caresses, running her hands over his back, his arms, his stubbled cheeks. Her fingers strayed close to his lips and he turned his head to press a kiss to them, a hint of tenderness in the midst of his fierce, untamed ascent towards release.

The sight of him, the feel of him, the enormity of what they were experiencing, reignited Calina's own lust. She felt the familiar insistent ache in her clit and slipped a hand between them to help it along. Matt realised her plan and beat her to it. His rough fingers rubbed against her, as he thrust and thrust. Within moments she went over the edge, so sensitive due to her earlier orgasm.

Matt followed her with a guttural moan then collapsed on top of her.

She took his weight gladly, and couldn't stop the smile that spread over her face.

She'd made love to Matt.

Finally.

And it was amazing. Everything she could have hoped for and more.

She glided her hands down his back, feeling the slight tremors beneath his warm skin as he recovered. He levered himself up onto one forearm and smoothed the hair off her face, then pressed a gentle kiss to the tip of her nose. "Hey."

"Hey," she whispered back.

He pressed another kiss to her lips. "I love you."

Her smile widened. "I love you too."

Matt rolled onto his back and pulled her with him until she was sprawled across his chest. And that's when the sounds of the outside world started to penetrate their cocoon. She could hear cars in the streets and the faint laughter of children no doubt playing with new Christmas presents on the sidewalks.

But she tried to zone them out. She didn't want the real world today. She didn't want time to pass.

She just wanted to stay in this moment, with Matt...forever.