"Are things okay between you two?" Foggy asked, the minute Calina was out of ear shot. She'd gone to get a round of drinks with Karen, leaving Matt and Foggy alone in the booth.

Matt thought about ignoring his friend and pretending he hadn't heard his question - the words had been swallowed up by the noise of the packed bar, after all. But Foggy knew Matt's capabilities well by now. He knew Matt would have heard.

So he went a different route. He lied. "We're fine," he said, trying to dismiss the awkward vibes that Foggy had apparently picked up on.

They were not fine.

Not at all.

And it was all his fault.

He didn't know what was wrong with him. Earlier tonight, stretched out on the floor of the boxing ring with Calina by his side, cooling down from an exhilarating sparring session with her, listening to her share pieces of her past had been...wonderful. He'd thought at the time that there was nowhere else on Earth that he'd rather be than in that quiet space with her. Not in a courtroom, not in this bar with his oldest friend, not even out on the streets in his suit...

He'd wanted to stay there with her forever.

He'd felt so content.

Happy, even.

And when her delicate fingers had started gently exploring his bared skin, his happiness had morphed into heady anticipation. He'd felt the air crackle with electricity, as if the very molecules between them were charged by their attraction. Then she'd leaned down towards him, her intent to kiss him clear.

It had felt like the most natural thing in the world.

It had felt like the obvious and right culmination of everything they'd been through over the past few months.

He'd wanted it.

So much.

But then something inside him had rebelled. Suddenly and violently, he was struck by an overwhelming sense of panic.

Before he knew it, he was rolling out of her path. He smoothly got to his feet, and tried with every fibre of his being to project an air of ignorance. To pretend that he hadn't sensed her leaning towards him. "We should get going if we want to catch Karen and Foggy," he'd said. "I think they have some updates on the pheromone case."

He'd gathered up his stuff and fled to the changing room, trying to ignore the pounding of his heart and the confusion that practically rolled off Calina.

When they were both showered and changed, they'd walked the few blocks to Josie's side by side.

But they'd never felt further apart.

Matt had tried to keep up a conversation, to cover for his abrupt rejection. He'd smiled and asked her about her research on the Governor. He'd asked her about her latest online purchases. He'd asked her what she had for lunch.

All of her answers were flat and monosyllabic. And even he could tell that the smile she greeted his friends with was forced and unconvincing.

Hence, Foggy's question.

"Bullshit," Foggy responded, not buying Matt's lie one bit.

Matt sighed. "Can you just...leave it? At least for tonight? Please, Fog."

He needed time and space to process what had happened. To figure out why he had rejected something - someone - that he obviously wanted. To figure out why he had turned Calina away after months of fighting his attraction to her and after finally acknowledging how happy she made him.

Why, after finally accepting that he was over Elektra, he couldn't seem to open himself up to something new.

What the hell was wrong with him?

He was so drawn to Calina. He had been, from the moment he'd first come across her on the rooftop. And every moment since had just compounded the attraction he felt. The care that he held for. Even now, his senses were automatically attuned to her - he could easily locate her amidst the crowd at the bar. He could detect her scent on the air above all others. He could tell by the slope of her shoulders and the angle of her head that she was upset. And he knew each and every time that she glanced in his direction.

He was so sensitive to every made she move - sparring with her earlier had proved that. During that mock fight, he'd found himself obsessing over the thought of them in bed together, their bodies moving together in a very different kind of harmony.

Which she'd probably picked up on - God knows he hadn't hidden his desire well. It was probably what gave her the courage to make her move.

And he'd rejected her.

Jesus, what the fuck was wrong with him?

He jumped to his feet. He needed to get out of here. He couldn't sit in this booth and sip his beer and pretend nothing was going on - especially in front of Calina.

He was being a coward...but he didn't know another way to deal with what he was feeling.

"Matt?" Foggy asked, looking up at him.

"I need to go."

"What? Why? You just got here."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just...can't be here right now. Can you make up an excuse for me?"

He shoved some cash on the table to cover the cost of the round, then fled out the door, not waiting for Foggy's reply.

———

Calina was finally out at a bar with friends. She was finally getting to live the kind of experience people her age took for granted - the type of experience that was stolen from her by the serum-wielding bastard who'd invaded her home weeks ago.

She was finally here...and all she wanted to do was go home and hide from the world.

She felt like such a fool.

She'd managed to convince herself - delude herself - that Matt felt the same way that she did. That he wanted her as much as she wanted him. That he even might love her, they way that she loved him.

And like a naive, brainless, pathetic idiot, she'd acted on that delusion.

And been thoroughly and completely rejected.

Matt had tried to play it off like he hadn't noticed the way she'd leaned down to kiss him, but she saw through his act. His nonchalance afterwards was a little too contrived. His efforts to distract her with conversation a little too forced.

And even without those hints...she knew his skills as Daredevil. The man was practically supernatural - he could sense the trajectory of a bullet and pick up a heartbeat three stories below him. There was no way in hell he missed her making a move.

God, she was so stupid.

"Hey," Karen said, as they waited for the bartender to notice them. "Are you alright? You seem a little down."

Calina's eyes flicked to Matt, unable to stop herself from seeking out the source of her current misery. Karen noticed...and completely misunderstood. "Ah," she said. "I've been there."

"What do you mean?"

Karen leaned her weight against the bar and played with one of the beermats in front of her. As she spoke she smiled, but it was a bittersweet expression. "Matt is...wonderful. In so many ways. And when he focuses all his attention on you, it feels amazing. But more often than not, his attention gets diverted elsewhere. It can be lonely, being with him."

Calina was too distracted by Karen's admission to correct her false impression of her and Matt's relationship. "Wait, you and Matt...?" she asked.

"We dated. Or tried to, a while back. But it didn't work out," she laughed wryly. "Obviously. And I don't want you to think I'm trying to sabotage the two of you. I want Matt to be happy, and I really think he is with you. But it wouldn't feel right not to warn you-"

"You don't have to. It's not like-"

"I do, Calina. One woman to another. Just...be careful. Guard your heart a little. Matt is a good man - a really good man. But he doesn't make the best boyfriend. He doesn't always have the right priorities. And he can hurt the people he cares about without realising it."

Calina wondered what had happened between the two of them. Karen obviously cared about Matt - they still seemed so close - but it was also obvious that she'd been hurt deeply by him.

What had he done?

Whatever it was, it put her rejection in perspective. She'd been hurt by his actions - but it was a hurt of her own making, really. He didn't owe her anything. It wasn't his fault that she'd fallen in love...and he hadn't.

"Its not like that, with Matt and I," Calina said. "We're not a couple."

Karen frowned at her. "Really?"

Calina nodded.

"But you seem so good together. I don't understand." She seemed genuinely perplexed and her baffled expression caused Calina to laugh. But the sound was bitter, and wet with unshed tears. She could feel them building behind her eyes, threatening to fall and complete her transition into a pathetic, miserable, rejected woman.

She needed some space to get her emotions under control. She motioned towards the bathroom sign at the back of the bar. "I'm just going to..."

Karen nodded, just as the bartender came over to take their order.

Calina pushed through the other patrons queuing at the bar then manoeuvred past the groups of people clustered around the pool tables. On any other night she would have enjoyed catching snippets of their conversation and watching the dynamics between them, always eager to observe normal human interactions.

But tonight she barrelled through them without a second glance. And when she got to the bathroom she quickly locked herself in the nearest available stall and pinched the bridge of her nose to fend off the traitorous tears.

"Not here," she whispered to herself. "Not here."

She didn't want to go back outside with red, tear-stained eyes. She didn't want to see pity on the faces of Karen and Foggy...and she didn't want Matt to know how much she was hurting.

She could cry all she wanted when she got home.

No, not home.

It wasn't her home. It was Matt's apartment. She could cry when she got to Matt's apartment. She could let out all the pain and rejection and longing when she was safely alone. Then she would pick up the pieces of her life. She would force all that unrequited love deep, deep down inside and accept her role as Matt's friend.

Because she didn't want to lose him.

She wanted to keep him in her life in any way that she could. And if that meant subjugating her feelings for him, so be it. She was a trained Black Widow. She'd gone over two decades without love. The absence of it now wouldn't kill her.

That resolve helped her fight back the tears. She took another few deep breaths then returned to the heaving bar. Through a gap in the crowd, she spotted their booth by the window...but Matt wasn't in it.

Foggy and Karen were there, with four pints of beer in front of them - two of them completely untouched. Hers and Matt's.

Where had he gone?

That question took a backseat when she noticed Karen mouth the shape of her name - lip-reading was such an ingrained skill that Calina often did it without even realising. And it came in very handy in situations like this. Ignoring the twinge of guilt at eaves-dropping on Matt's friends, she took a step to the side to hide herself...and to get a better view of the two people discussing her.

"...know they weren't together?" Karen asked.

"Yeah. Matt's being a stubborn ass," Foggy replied.

"But why? I don't get it."

Foggy grimaced. "One word. Elektra."

"Elektra?" Karen's face was a picture of disgust as she repeated the name.

"She's managed to mess him up in death just as much as she did when she was alive," Foggy continued.

"Is he...is he still in love with her?"

Calina's breath caught, and she held it waiting for Foggy's answer.

"He admitted it to me last week."

She staggered back a step, feeling like she'd been blindsided by a punch to the gut. She hunched forward, and rubbed at the sudden ache in her chest as Foggy's words ricocheted through her head.

Matt was in love with someone else.

Some woman called 'Elektra'.

She felt a sob build in her throat, but swallowed it back. Then stood up straight and, like a complete masochist, resumed spying on the conversation that had broken her heart.

"I'm just worried that..." Foggy trailed off.

"What?"

"I'm worried that he can't see Calina for who she is - only as some kind of proxy for Elektra."

"What do you mean?"

"You gotta see the similarities: they were both assassins. Both brainwashed by an evil organisation. Both made into killing machines from a young age...its kind of eerie when you think about it."

"And you think...what? That because Matt couldn't save Elektra, he's fixated on saving Calina?"

"Maybe. Maybe he sees her as a means to make up for his past mistakes."

"Move! Coming through!" A waitress with a drinks tray full of empty glasses nudged Calina to the side, interrupting her view of the rest of the conversation. But it didn't matter. She'd seen enough. Enough to know that she was an even bigger fool than she'd ever thought possible.

Earlier tonight she'd made the mistake of believing Matt was attracted to her - that he might even love her. And just minutes ago, she'd reconciled herself to being only his friend.

But it turns out she wasn't even that.

If Foggy and Karen were right, she was nothing more than a way for him to right some past wrong. A stand-in to help alleviate his guilt over a previous mistake.

If Foggy and Karen were right...

But she had no reason to doubt them. They'd been Matt's friends for years. They obviously knew him far better than she did. They knew about this mysterious Elektra, after all.

The woman Matt was still in love with.

The dead woman that Matt was still in love with.

Calina didn't know much about love and relationships, but she knew competing with the memory of a dead woman was an almost impossible task.

God, she felt sick. She needed to get out of here. And she didn't just mean this bar. She needed to get out of New York. She couldn't bear to be in Matt's apartment - Matt's bed - when he returned later tonight. She needed space to sort out what she was feeling and where she would go from here.

She needed distance.

Miles and miles of distance.

She fished in her back pocket for her phone and quickly typed out a text to Yelena. Is the offer to help with the extraction still open?

She got her answer a moment later: Definitely.

Good, she replied. I'll meet you in Washington.

———

Matt landed on top of his building just as the rising sun's rays started to warm the early morning air.

He'd stayed out longer than usual. Much longer. And he still couldn't bring himself to take that last step and go downstairs. He sat on the concrete rooftop instead, and removed his mask. He wiped the sweat from his brow then rested his head back against the stone balustrade.

It was a reckless move, staying up here - one he normally wouldn't even contemplate. The light from the sun was no doubt getting stronger, banishing the shadows that hid him from sight, and putting him at risk of being spotted by an early riser in the apartment building opposite.

But it felt less dangerous to stay up here than to enter his apartment and see Calina.

He was still being a coward.

He just...had no idea what to say to her. He didn't know how to make things right between them...when he didn't know what 'right' meant.

Did he want to go back to just being friends? Or did he want to venture through the door that Calina had opened with her almost-kiss last night?

After hours of fighting and running and soul-searching, he still didn't know.

His heart was willing him on to take that next step. It wanted to embrace the strange, wonderful thing between him and Calina. It saw the potential for true happiness. True acceptance. A future full of love and joy and connection with an amazing woman.

But it all felt so...abstract. Like a fantasy that could never be realised. He couldn't picture it in reality. He couldn't see himself taking that step with her. He couldn't see himself speaking words of love to her, or touching her with intent.

It was as if something deep within him resisted the very idea.

Strongly.

A wall had gone up around his heart, trapping it - and all his hopes and desires - behind a barrier, and he had no idea when it had happened.

Or how he could knock it down.

Which meant he had no idea what to say to Calina, or how to act around her now.

He didn't want to hurt her. And by ignoring their encounter in the gym, he was obviously hurting her, that much was clear last night in the bar. But the alternative was admitting that he wasn't sure about being with her...and that would only hurt her too.

Matt thumped his head against the stone wall behind him in frustration. Then he forced himself to his feet. He couldn't stay out here any longer. The traffic below was getting louder. The sounds of people waking and starting their day becoming more insistent. Morning had officially arrived and it was time for him to face the music.

He opened the rooftop access door and closed it quietly behind him, then froze as the silence of the apartment filled his senses.

It wasn't the usual quiet he returned to after a night as Daredevil. That was layered with the soft sounds of Calina's breathing, the slow, steady thrum of her heart, and the rustle of his sheets as she shifted in bed.

This was different.

This was silence. The silence that came from absence.

She wasn't here.

His heart started pounding, the sound almost echoing off the walls of the barren apartment as he raced down the stairs.

He yanked open the bathroom door and frantically looked around, cataloguing the changes to the room: the lip balm that she kept by the sink was gone. The shampoo bottle in the shower, missing. He raced into the bedroom next, where there were more signs of her absence - no backpack in the corner by the window. No cashmere nightgown draped over the bed. The living room was the same - no book on the coffee table. No laptop charging by the dining table.

His breath caught, and he felt himself go numb as it hit him...

She'd left.

He stood still in the middle of the room, his hands clenched into fists as he tried to keep it together. As he tried not to jump to the worst case scenario - the one in which she was gone forever - because that might cause him to lose his shit completely.

He fumbled in the gym bag he'd left by the front door and grabbed his phone. She wouldn't have left him without a message, a way for him to know she was safe. He knew Calina. No matter how much she was hurting, she wouldn't worry him like that. It wasn't in her nature.

Sure enough, the moment he turned his phone on, it alerted him to a new voicemail, left just after midnight.

He took a deep breath, ignored the slight tremble in his fingers, and pressed play.

Hi, Matt, it's me.

At the sound of her voice - that beautiful, soft silken voice - Matt collapsed onto the bench behind him.

I'm sorry to leave like this, but Yelena called. The Widows found something - about what happened to me - and they need my help with it. So I'm headed back to the base for a few days.

I'll keep in touch - as much as I can.

I...um... ....

Nevermind.

Take care, Matt. Be safe out there.

Matt hung up as the message clicked off, then exhaled, his breath loud and shaky in the empty room. He dropped his head into his hands as the crushing weight of panic and dread lifted, and a relieved laugh escaped him.

She hadn't left him.

She just had something to take care of with the Widows.

He'd freaked out over nothing. They were fine. Everything was fine. She'd be back in a few days and they would work everything out then.

She'd come home...and everything would be okay.

Everything would be fine.